It seems like just yesterday we were introduced to Chemistry teach Mr. Walter White and his ex-student Jesse Pinkman, who became entrepreneurs with their booming meth business. And for some of you, it was like yesterday if you’re of the late-to-the-party-binge-watching ilk. And this weekend, it all comes crashing down to an anxiety-ridden end. Will Jesse die? What will happen to Skyler, Walt Jr. Flynn & Holly? Will Todd kill any more people? Who will Walt use the Ricin on? Will anyone in ABQ ever have an A1 day?
While we anticipate Sunday’s series finale, I decided to take a look at some of my personal favorite series finales. To be clear, I only considered shows I’ve seen from beginning to end, so don’t complain that The Sopranos finale isn’t on here because I’ve never seen it. Buuut I would like to hear what your favorite series finales are! And then at approx 10:16pm on Sunday, we can all add Breaking Bad to that list and cry together knowing there will never be a new episode of one of the greatest TV shows ever again.
(In chronological order) ((Also, spoiler alert??))
Friends (1994-2004)
Besides being one of the most legendary sitcoms in TV history, Friends also has a special place in my heart as well. It was the first show that I ever became obsessed with – to the point where I wore out the VHS tapes I used to tape every episode on. I went through the seasons multiple times, reference it daily, held day long marathons called ‘Friends-travaganzas’ and it even had some influence on this very blog (In high school, Molly & I made a bet on who we thought the father of Rachel’s baby was going to be, and the winner had to buy the loser our cafeteria’s famous cookies. We both lost.)
That being said, as a fan of a series for 10 years, you want the last episode to wrap up everything in a nice package with a perfect bow. You want the best for the people/characters you’ve spent the past 10 years laughing with. And the finale did just that. Monica and Chandler finally got the family they desperately wanted, Phoebe was also able to find a family she never really hard growing up with her husband Mike, and after their epic on-again, off-again relationship, Rachel got off the plane and promised that ‘this was it’ with Ross and they could build upon their own family too (My only qualm is that Joey still didn’t end up with anyone, even if it was because of the awful spin-off).
Co-creator David Crane has said that he and Marta Kaufmann were inspired to write about their own lives, living in NYC in their 20s. They pitched the show as such: “It’s about searching for love and commitment and security, and the fear of love and commitment and security. It’s about friendship – because when you’re young and single in the city, your friends are your family.” And in the end, all the characters achieved and surpassed that. The finale was like a graduation for the gang, even though they spent pretty much the past 10 years relying on each other, the end of the series signified that their friends weren’t the ‘ultimate family’ anymore. It was time to go make their own.
Six Feet Under (2001-2005)
I binge-watched Six Feet Under last year, and even though I found it too dark for my taste at times, overall it lived up to its hype. Not only that, but the finale was everything that people said it would be. Seriously, just watch SFU for the finale alone. Don’t worry, I won’t spoil anything, but the last montage ^AS SEEN ABOVE, SO DON’T WATCH IT IF YOU PLAN ON WATCHING IT IN THE FUTURE^^ is the best, most genius, satisfying ending I’ve ever seen. I honestly can’t even talk about it because it is that good.
Friday Night Lights (2006-2011)
Much like Six Feet Under, I was a little late to the Friday Night Lights game – and I’m assuming most of its fans are. Right after the series finale aired in May, the entire show was available on Netflix Instant – a moment I had been waiting for for years! I spent the summer (ok, like a month and a half) of 2011 bonding with Netflix, the Taylors and Tim Riggins abs. It was one of those instances where all I could think about was the Panthers. I would be at work just dreaming about what would happen next, and rushing home to watch the next episode.
But when it came down to the final season, I had mixed feelings. I wanted to know what happened to the gang, but absolutely did not want it to end. The problem was that I watched it so fast that five years of drama in Dillon was condensed into just a few weeks – but it was there. The bond I had with the team was there. It literally took me almost as long to watch the final five episodes, particularly the finale, than it did to watch the whole thing. But when it did, it was perfect. Stories were tied up, characters found their happy endings, and Mr. and Mrs. Coach were still the perfect role models they were from the pilot. Clear eyes. Full Hearts…
30 Rock (2006-2013)
There’s a reason why 30 Rock has won 16 Emmy Awards – it’s just that good. It’s a rare breed of show that has been able to be intelligent, biting, sentimental and most importantly funny throughout the seven seasons on air. The combination of the final three episodes was incredibly fulfilling for all 30 Rock fans, as the show highlighted everything we loved about it in the first place. Liz dealing with the ragtag group of writers, Jenna vying for attention, and Kenneth, well Kenneth ends up exactly where he was meant to be all along.
The Office (2005-2013)
Add The Office right next to Friends, because this show is one of my all-time favorites. Now I admit that the show kind of lagged towards the end of its run, but I maintain that it was still funnier than most shows on TV at the time. In my opinion, NBC landed the jackpot with smart comedies like 30 Rock, Parks and Rec, Community, and of course, The Office. Executive Producer Greg Daniels proved that he could not only adopt the UK version, but alter it to fancy American audiences and make it last twice as long as its namesake.
For me, The Office blended that perfect mix of comedy with heart, that only few shows have been able to master. The perfect example of this is in the boss himself, Michael Scott. He may have done asinine things like almost commit suicide in order to show the risks of depression and suicide, or hold a funeral for a bird in order to cope with the death of a former co-worker or organize the ‘Michael Scott’s Dunder Mifflin Scranton Meredith Palmer Memorial Celebrity Rabies Awareness Pro-Am Fun Run Race For The Cure’. When you whittle it down, he does all these things because he cares. He cares about his employees, the people who became his friends, and ultimately his family.
The entire Dunder Mifflin Scranton branch may have been filled with shenanigans, feuds, intertwining relationships but as seen in the series finale, they all went through the documentary together – as a family. Not to be a broken record, but the show came full circle – from Angela and Dwight, to Michael’s surprise appearance and That’s What She Said moment, to Jim and Pam finally getting to courage to do what they wanted- get out of the rut they were in in Scranton. In honestly couldn’t have ended any better (and if we’re speaking honestly here, I’d say it’s my number one finale in this whole list). It was so good in fact, that I still haven’t been able to get myself to watch an entire episode of The Office since – I couldn’t even make it through the first 10 seconds of this video without crying…. I might have a problem.
BONUS:
ER (1994-2009)
Alright, I admit, I’ve probably only seen 10 out of the 15 seasons of ER, give or take a few episodes throughout the last five. But come on, 15 seasons is one hell of a commitment. The cast changes, writers and executive producers come and go, but through the heart of it all, it was always about these doctors, and their relationships with their patients and each other.
Clearly the heyday of ER was towards the beginning, when Noah Wyle, Anthony Edwards, Juliana Margulies and some guy named George Clooney started off as regular folk on a medical TV drama. It was really nothing like TV had seen before, and became a critically acclaimed hit, essentially paving the way for Shondaland and Grey’s to leave its own mark on TV. And while it may have stumbled towards the end, the finale was purposefully (and wonderfully) mirrored the pilot, a full circle maneuver that I personally enjoy in any series.
For me, the most poignant part of the finale was seeing Rachel Greene, daughter of the hospital’s late Dr. Mark Greene, come back to County General in hopes to follow in the footsteps of her revered father. In the early seasons, viewers saw Rachel as a kid wandering around the ER aimlessly, but now she had a purpose. The end scene (as seen above), may not be too flashy, but it’s a reminder that even if we don’t get to see what happens in this hospital for another 15 years, it will keep on going without us.
It’s back to school time for all you kids out there! However, the last September that we headed back to high school, Mean Girls was in production and I was the first person I knew to go back to school with side bangs.
So, it was a while ago. And while our memory of high school isn’t as crisp as it used to be, we can be sure that we were not internationally-known recording artists. As if we didn’t feel old enough during this, the Tenth Anniversary Of Our Last First Day Of High School, here is a playlist comprised entirely of tracks by young artists who were still in high school at the time of recording.
If it seems like Lorde came out of nowhere, she did. New Zealand to be more exact. She released this song in her home country back in March, and months later, US stations began picking it up and now here we are. I can’t believe how great of an artist she is and how her voice is so unique and distinct. If you like this song, check out her new one, Team.
Name: Birdy
Song: Skinny Love
Age of release: 14
I feel like Birdy was hoping to be what Lorde is becoming now. A teenager from England, she covered this Bon Iver song and blew up shortly thereafter. She also earned her first Grammy nomination thanks to her awesome song with Grammy darlings Mumford and Sons, Learn Me Right, from the Brave soundtrack.
Name: Aaliyah
Song: Back and Forth
Age of release: 14
Despite the fact that R. Kelly was the first one to mentor her in the music industry and they were rumored to be dating, Aaliyah and R. Kelly made a classic 90s R&B song that kicked off her too short of a career. I don’t think anyone’s really been able to create the same magic since her, and this was the song that started it all.
Name: Destiny’s Child
Song: Say My Name
Age of release: 18 (all 4 members were 18!)
Listen, guys. Say My Name is probably my all time favorite DC3 song. And to think that if we went to the same high school, I’d be looking up to them as they were Seniors, being all cool and making hit songs and shit. Seniors in high school don’t make classic records like Writing’s on the Wall – they are too focused on getting into college and acting like the own the school and stuff. I guess Beyonce & co. owned pop music at the time, really.
Name: Michael Jackson
Song: Ben
Age of release: 14
Oh Michael. Little black Michael. Ben was the first song he recorded as a solo artist, but was still in Jackson 5 at the time of the release. It was the title song for the 1972 movie of the same name, and even though it’s essentially about a rat, it’s still a good song. Just forget about the rat part.
Molly’s Picks
Name: Jake Bugg
Age of release: 18
Song: Lightning Bolt
Back in June, I almost put Lorde on our summer playlist. Then I thought “I don’t know, this song has been out for a while. It’s great… but it’s probably on the way down.” That song? Royals. Clearly I don’t know anything. So take this with a grain of salt: I think this kid is really good and might be going places.
Name: Brandy and Monica
Song: The Boy Is Mine
Age of release: 19 (Brandy), 17 (Monica)
Everything about this is awesome. In an awful way. Who could forget the probably fake drama that was concocted between the teen singers? While not a technically good song, The Boy Is Mine is fun because it seldom comes up alongside the other cheesy 90s R&B tunes, so it’s always a fun surprise when you hear it. It’ll make you want to wear tims and head-to-toe Tommy Hilfiger like you wanted to in the late 90s.
Name: Hilary Duff
Song: Come Clean
Age of release: 16
I’m really embarrassed by how long it took me to choose between Come Clean and So Yesterday. Feel free to include both on your next Playlist Of (no) Shame.
Even when she was 16-17, Laura Marling was writing wonderfully clever lyrics. The difference is that in those first years some of her music had more of a Lily Allen, Kate Nash vibe than it does now. This and Ghosts were released around the same time and it was almost as hard as choosing between So Yesterday and Come Clean.
One of the earliest lessons of childhood is that certain animals don’t belong in your house. This message was reinforced everywhere. In the American Girl books, Kirsten’s house got destroyed because she brought a baby raccoon inside and he went HAM and burned their house down using his tail as a tiny torch of destruction. Children’s books teach lessons, and I guess the American Girl company thought that “don’t bring weird-ass animals into your house” was still a relevant one in the early 90s. In that one Full House episode, Danny’s heretofore-unheard of sister showed up with her monkey and it got lost. There are even real-life community standards against owning odd-as-shit animals: the family on my street with the ferrets were treated to open scorn, because ferrets were illegal in our parts. Besides, those animals were little weaselly assholes.
Despite these lessons, some people just don’t get it. Remember a few years ago when that guy owned a menagerie and he set them free and they all got shot? Or that woman whose face got mauled off by her friend’s chimp? Sure, she got a face transplant, and I’d say all’s well that ends well, but there’s somebody else’s FACE on her FACE now and I’m not ready to act like that’s okay.
Here are some famous pet owners who should know better. But since they don’t, I’m here to tell them: you’re bouts to get killed by your exotic pet.
Mike Tyson: You’re Bouts To Get Killed By That Tiger
Recently Mike Tyson got head butted by his pet tiger. The cork at the top of this champagne problem? It knocked the gold teeth right out of Tyson’s mouth. Still, the fighter has reported that he sleeps with his tiger, answering the question posed by the 90s tv movie “Mother, May I Sleep With Danger?” with a resounding YES.
Kristen Stewart: You’re Bouts To Get Killed By That Half Dog/ Half Wolf
The only surprising thing about Kristen Stewart owning a dog/wolf hybrid is that I can’t imagine Kristen Stewart caring enough to go out and buy a dog/wolf hybrid. I sort of picture her out on her porch smoking weed with a dog/wolf watching her longingly from the side of her yard. She turns to go in and the dog/wolf is at her heels. Stewart looks at the dog/wolf, shrugs, and lets him in behind her. They live apathetically ever after. Until he freaking KILLS her because that is a WOLF Kristen. It’s a wolf. And in real life, wolves don’t turn into handsome muscular teenage boys. They turn into a thing that is eating your still-living flesh.
Justin Bieber: You’re Bouts To Get Killed By That Capuchin Monkey
Justin Bieber bought a Capuchin monkey, abandoned it in Germany, then was ordered by the nation of Germany to pay monkey support. If there’s one country that I would NOT want to get into a child support relationship with, it’s Germany. They’re stern. That, or one of those countries that people always parental-kidnap their children to. Now Bieber’s monkey is a stern German, too. Plus monkeys are crazy. Watch your back in Berlin, Biebs. That Capuchin monkey is going to revenge kill you.
Nicolas Cage: You’re Bouts To Get Killed By That Octopus
Octopuses are kind of cute. Until they squirt ink in your eye and strangle you with their tentacles. Before you know it, the last thing you see before you die is the undercarriage of an octopus. And the only time that should be the last thing you see is if you’re an old, married octopus having an affair with a young female octopus and you have a heart attack during octopus sex and that’s how you die.
Melanie Griffith and Tippi Hedren From The Past: You’re Bouts To Get Killed By That Lion
In the Wizard of Oz, there’s a good reason that the song didn’t go “Lions and Tigers and Bears, You Know, Those Would Be Fun To Have Live In My House With Me.” The Griffith-Hedren clan loved a good lion photo op. Lions in bed with the child! Lions roaring at us in the pool! Lions taking up too much space on the kitchen floor as the maid gets juice from the fridge! Only by the grace of God was the final photo op not “Lions Eating All Of Us With Their Enormous Bone-Crushing Jaws.”
Tracy Morgan: You’re Bouts To Get Killed By Those Sharks
I saw that movie Soul Surfer. It made getting your limb torn off by a shark seem normal, inspirational even. But I ALSO saw that movie Sharknado, so I know that Sharks could kill you – and the fact that sharks live in water, and you’re on land, doesn’t help you. Some day, that tank is going to break and then Tracy Morgan is bouts to get killed by that shark.
Michael Jackson From The Past: You’re Bouts To Get Killed By That Chimpanzee
It’s all fun and games until a chimp eats your face and you have to raze all of your original facial features and rebuild them and regrow your skin in goodness knows what color. Actually, you know what? Never mind. As you were, Mr. Jackson.
Vanilla Ice: You’re Bouts To Get Killed By That Wallaroo
A wallaby/kangaroo hybrid sounds like a really cute pet, right? Especially when you name him Bucky Buckaroo, like Vanilla Ice did. But you know how you get a little nervous when a large, friendly dog jumps up on a tiny person because it could knock them over? Imagine if instead of a large, friendly dog the jumping animal was a mutant kangaroo. Vanilla Ice, you’re bouts to suffer extensive head trauma when that wallaroo knocks you over.
Audrey Hepburn From The Past: You’re Bouts To Get Killed By That Baby Deer
Whenever I find myself looking a little TOO Etsy-and-twee, I think to myself “girl, you look like you would have a pet baby deer that you feed out of a mason jar. And that baby deer only listens to vinyl. Shit. That baby deer wears a loooot of ModCloth.” Sure, a tiny fawn seems like the perfect Manic Pixie Dream Pet. However, those of us who live in deer country know how un-cute it is to get a deer-sized dent pounded out of your car. Audrey Hepburn from the past is bouts to get into a driveway crash because of that fawn.
Steven Tyler: You’re Bouts To Get Killed By That Raccoon
Well. SOMEONE didn’t read Changes For Kirsten. Hide your oil lamps, Aerosmith.
Well folks, it’s the day after the 65th Annual Emmys (did you check out our live blog?), and if you’re anything like us, you’re still bitter about the (failed) results of your Emmy ballots.
One thing that we can’t lose at are our Best & Worst Dressed list, so here are our picks from last night’s ceremony with TV’s biggest stars.
Molly’s Picks:
Best Dressed
Tina Fey in Narciso Rodriguez
The dress so nice, we’re listing it twice. While we’re trying to keep repeats on our best/ worst dressed lists to a minimum, I’d be a fool not to include this on my best dressed list. Not only is Tina Fey smarter than almost everyone on this red carpet, and funnier than almost everyone on this red carpet, she’s also more stylish and prettier.
Kerry Washington in Marchesa
I had to sleep on this one – and so, apparently, did Kerry Washington, judging by the dress’s kind of rumply texture. I was on the fence about the dress last night, but the more I see it, the more I love it. Would’ve been a great dress to win in. Next year, Gladiators.
Kate Mara in J Mendel
This might show up on a few worst dressed lists, and I think maybe another year it could’ve ended up on mine. I think it’s just the overall styling that’s working for me – the dress with the simple hair and smoky makeup.
Elisabeth Moss in Dolce & Gabbana
I was really feeling these 2 trends that kept appearing: the separate or faux-separate skirt and bodice, and the black and white color blocking. Since Traci already covered my favorite black and white dress (read on to see who!), it only seemed fair to give space to my second-fav.
Julia Louis-Dreyfus in Monique Lhuillier
Last night, Traci said that this looked like a beautiful disco ball and I said that I wanted to touch JLD’s face because her skin is so pretty. I stand by both of those comments.
Honorable Mention: Claire Danes in Armani Prive
When I was writing my best dressed picks before work, I included this one. Post coffee, I cannot remember why. I’m keeping this on the list for my sleepy-eyed, 6am self who for whatever reason thought this was pretty. That 6am girl is also the person who dressed me today. She didn’t do so great.
Worst Dressed
Lena Dunham in Delia’s Prada
When Lena Dunham tweeted that her dress looked like it was designed by Delia’s earlier this week, I had high hopes for butterfly clips and butterfly print. But the thing that’s really Delia’s-esque about this is that Lena’s eyeshadow is matched to her dress. After 9th grade Lena -or someone around her – should know better.
Mayin Bialik in Oliver Tolentino Couture
Everyone else liked this, and I did until you got to the tinselly belt and cuffs. That made everything look kind of costumey to me, like she’d be playing The Giving Tree in a really nice Montessori school or Blanche Dubois in a less-nice Montessori school.
Julianne Hough in Jenny Packham
Remember in 2002, when girls used to walk around with visible thongs over their low-rise 501s, and you would think “what could be less hot than this?” This dress answers that question with “well, visible granny panties, of course.”
Zosia Mamet in Honor
I like everything about this until the giant faux mustache over her boobs.
Lily Rabe
Annie taught us that you’re never fully dressed without a smile. But you’re also never fully dressed without that other half of your dress. Besides, nobody was smiling last night. That was the most sorrowful, grim Emmy Awards I ever did see and that’s counting the time they postponed it because of 9/11.
Traci’s Picks
Best Dressed
Taylor Schilling in Thakoon
Daaannnnggg Chapman. You clean up well! Taylor was there for nothing but publicity and eye candy, but she sure made her mark on the red carpet. Simple, sexy, elegant – that’s how you do an awards show, folks.
Michelle Dockery in Prada
Lady Mary sure knows how to hit a home run on the red carpet. Or like, whatever the equivalent to a home run is in cricket. She always knows what styles and colors look great on her, and this is no different. Of course I LOVE color blocking, so maybe that’s why I adore her dress so much.
Tina Fey in Narciso Rodriguez
Listen. As much as I love Tina Fey. The first thing you think of her is that she’s funny. Not a fashionista. So while she has made some questionable fashion decisions in the past, she looks absolutely stunning in this bold blue dress. Suck on that, nerds.
Kaley Cuoco in Vera Wang
For me, Kaley Cuoco is usually a hit or miss for me at awards shows. But this Vera Wang dress is to die. It’s the perfect mix of sexy and classy, just like Taylor Schilling’s dress. And while a lot of ladies were going with white and black or pastels, she decided to go the other route with the fantastic burgundy.
Anna Gunn in Ramona Keveza
You know when someone who is nominated/expected to win first appears on the red carpet and they come out wearing a dress and you just KNOW they’re going to win in? Yeah, this is it. Julia Roberts. Jennifer Lawrence. Anna Gunn.
Honorable Mention: Kiernan Shipka in Delpozo
Guys, I can’t get over how much older and mature little Sally Draper looks! I’m obsessed with the style direction she’s going in as she enters her teens. She knows exactly what is age appropriate, but also always picks something that will stand out in a crowd of grown-ups. And if you ever watch her in interviews, she is the smartest 13 year old ever. More like 13 going on 30, amirite ladies/Jennifer Garner?
Worst Dressed
Melissa Leo
I just… did she think she was going to either a circus or not be on stage at all? Because she was on stage. And not at a circus.
Paula Abdul
Honestly… just when you thought she couldn’t get any crazier. Just like Melissa Leo, I tried researching the designers for each dress, but to no avail. Maybe they didn’t want the negative publicity.
Heidi Klum in Versace
Um, I’m pretty sure Heidi Klum is being attacked by her own sequined gown. Should someone help her?
Lena Dunham in Prada
Oh Lena. In all honesty, this still isn’t as bad as the poop brown Zac Posen gown she wore at the Golden Globes. But like she/I said in the live blog yesterday, this looks like a dress she would wear to a summer BBQ in 1994, courtesy of the Delia’s catalog – evening gown edition.
Julianne Hough in Jenny Packham
Jules. You’re a gorgeous girl who actually get her style choices right most of the time. Not so much now. When they showed her in the audience when Derek won, you could only see the waist up, and she didn’t look that bad. And then I saw this picture. I know you’re a dancer and all, but no need to bring your leotard to the Emmys. THE EMMYS. This is a black tie event, ma’am. Not the VMAs.
Happy Emmys Day!! Thanks for joining us on television’s biggest day of the year. Since we are too cheap to upgrade to the type of server that allows auto-refreshing when it comes to liveblogging, please refresh this page every 5 to 10 minutes for our live updates! Also, feel free to join us on Twitter as we join the convo there too!!
Pre-Show Fun with E!
T: If you caught any of the E! Pre-Show Pre-Show, Giuliana Rancic, Kelly Osbourne and George (Ksomething Greek sounding last name) made up Hashtags for the night. Kelly’s was #ohnoshedidnt & G’s was #NipSlip. So I mean…. probably no Emmy for E! on the red carpet next year… or ever.
M: Zooey Deschanel is dressed like she’s from the future but she usually dresses like she’s from the past and I’m SO CONFUSED right now. She’s like a really pretty Jetson cousin.
M: Zosia Mamet’s dress is sort of tie dye looking and I wouldn’t be surprised if the Outfit Critics didn’t like it. I actually find the fabric pretty but there’s a black bar over her boobs that either looks like a censor bar or a giant fake mustache. But on her boobs.
M: I was going to say I don’t like Heidi Klum’s dress color but then I imagined Heidi Klum turning to the camera, looking straight at me, raising a single eyebrow, and saying “oh really? Well I don’t like your sweatpants.” I got served by imaginary Heidi Klum.
M: So… we’re supposed to say Anna Gunn’s name with an accent? Is that what I just heard? Listen. I’m from the Great Lakes region. You’re lucky that I don’t say it like my voice box is stuffed into my nose. Let’s not get greedy, Ahhna.
T: Speaking of Anna Gunn and Breaking Bad, it is like freaking SOPHIE’S CHOICE tonight – Breaking Bad comes on at 9p, Emmys at 8p. Luckily for me, I can watch one right after the other, but that means avoiding Twitter starting at 6pm EST. #FIRSTWORLDPROBLEMSYALL
M: Is that why I’m manning Twitter tonight? (Traci says ‘Yes. Absolutely. Every man for himself) BTW “manigram” is a really distracting segment name because it sounds exactly like they’re saying mammogram.
M: Tina Fey is wearing something flawless because she’s perfect.
T: Literally my first thought about Tina: *OWOOOOGA* like a cartoon character with eyes bulging out
M: Like Mad Men, Kiernan Shipka has now entered the late 60s (judging by her dress). And her awkward stage. JK. She’ll never have an awkward stage (I’m slowly crawling out of mine as we speak. I’m in my late 20s).
M: My standout memory of Jewel is during the Kids Choice Awards when we were still in the proper Kids Choice Awards demo (like 10 maybe?) all the kids were yelling like annoying brats and she made them quiet down before she sang. Like a stern but kind preschool teacher. Hope she does that at some point tonight.
Also – Christina Hendricks is here with 20s hair.
[Deleted block of text where I freaked out about someone’s awful purple dress then realized I was looking at E’s decorations and went to get my glasses]
M: You know what Michael Douglas? You ruined everything when you told us all how you got cancer.
T: Things we just learned from Michael Douglas: Fan of both Ryan Seacrest’s morning radio show as well as Big Bang Theory. Never would’ve guessed either.
M: Speaking of Big Bang Theory, Jim Parsons is here and he always seems like the human version of a cartoon cat to me. Never so much as when he’s wearing a bow tie.
M: Lena Dunham tweeted that her sister said that her dress looked like it came from a Delia’s catalog.
“It’s like the Delia’s catalogue made a red carpet dress!” – my sister giving me the truest compliment when I showed her my Emmy look #joy
Also, her hair looks like this one time in college when I went to a cheap place to get my hair cut to shoulder length, and the lady kept taking off hair to get it even, and when I got home it was super short AND the sides were about 3 inches different. I had to go back and get it cut to roughly Dunham’s length. I cried until my friends all told me that they didn’t feel sorry for me.
T: AMY POEHLER JUST SHOWED UP AND LITERALLY SAID OUTLOUD ‘AHHHHHH’
M: Amy declared that she is wearing “a good attitude” which is the exact thing we love about her. BTW I didn’t type the whole time she was up there, I just sat with my chin propped up in my hands like a child staring out the window at Santa.
T: Um Amy just interviewed Carrie Underwood as she came up to Seacrest and said, “And you’re… performing?? ….. What are you doing here?” THIS IS THE BEST PAIRING THAT I NEVER THOUGHT I’D WANT
M: “We’re going to talk about religion… politics… just really get into it.” What if there was a show where it was just Amy Poehler in social situations with very random celebrities? I’d DVR every ep.
T: Lena Dunham is aware she’s not attending a 1997 summer BBQ, right? And like the haircut is reminiscent of the one Allison Pill did on The Newsroom. Also, unlikely friends? Lena and Claire Danes.
M: I’m getting stress flashbacks from her haircut right now. Claire Danes is here with a faux bob that reminds me of a blonde version of the Brown Helmet referenced in Steel Magnolias. Lena Dunham seems like she’d be a great person to be friends with/meet at a party because she’s a really interested and engaged listener.
M: Don’t worry, Connie Britton is here to bring us some high-quality Beautiful Flawless Mermaid hair. Also “my jewelry is worth more than I am.” So, priceless??
M: Will Arnett is here. I can’t see him without shaking my head and thinking “sir, you’ve made an awful mistake.”
T: What Molly said. I said, “RIP” when Will came on the screen. WHO WOULD EVER DIVORCE AMY I DON’T UNDERSTAND.
Aaron Paul is gushing over his wife, who I think is gorge and great, but it’s like, shut up stop being so perfect and in love. #BitterBetty
M: I thought his mom was his wife at first so clearly, everyone in that whole family is just touched with gold.
M: Ryan Seacrest, Shut Up. Julie Bowen, I love you, but also shut up. (ICYMI they’re discussing Bowen starving to fit into her dress, and it’s not even so much that that’s not funny, it’s that they’re not being funny about it. There’s like an unspoken thing that if you’re dealing with offensive material you should at least be actually funny)
T: Also, Julie, you need a stylist. your dress looks like a Georgia O’Keefe painting. The only time I’ve ever seen you look good was last year at the Emmys.
M: AND WE ALL KNOW WHAT THOSE PAINTINGS WERE SUPPOSED TO BE, right people who took one semester of art history?
M: January Jones is here and I don’t care WHO says she’s cold and standoffish, I love when she acts like she can’t be bothered by any of this. You do you, Betty.
M: I missed everything Sofia Vergara just said except “Cover Girl,” which was crystal clear as all sponsored messages should be.
Sofia was asked something that makes her un-sexy. She said it’s that she sleeps with socks on. That is such a cop out, like when you’re on a job interview and asked for your biggest weakness and you say something like “I care too much.”
T: Julia Louis-Dreyfus looks like a disco ball. A fabulous, hilarious, gorgeous Monqiue Lhuillier-made disco ball.
M: Her skin is so beautiful that I sort of want to touch her face.
THE MAIN EVENT
T: GUYS I’M SO EXCITED IT’S LIKE MY SUPERBOWL.
M: It’s 8:05 and the Emmys are JUST STARTING because boys ruin everything. Thanks, football guys. (I know ladies watch football but I’m giving you all an out. This time).
T: “There are too many shows, there’s no time to finish.” – NPH
“Story of my life.” – Me
M: NPH is wearing a dark burgundy tuxedo jacket, a color that’s been forever ruined for me when I learned it was also called “oxblood.” Course he just referenced American Horror Story: Asylum, so clearly the same things don’t freak he and I out.
M: This whole segment is that exact same level of uncomfy. At least Jimmy Fallon is here, but I say that in the same sense that you’re always happy when one of your friends is at the same bad party as you.
T: OMG KEVIN SPACEY. If you haven’t watched House of Cards, this segment doesn’t make sense to you. But it’s so good.
“I come to Awards Shows for the twerking” – Tina
MY LOVE FOR THESE TWO KNOWS NO BOUNDS. AMY JUST ROLLED ONTO THE STAGE.
M: Came for the TV accolades, stayed for Amy Poehler’s extended twerking references. And Tina and Amy’s patented Jennifer Lawrence Graceful Falls.
Supporting Actress in a Comedy Series
Mayim Bialik, The Big Bang Theory
Jane Lynch, Glee
Sofia Vergara, Modern Family
Julie Bowen, Modern Family
Merritt Wever, Nurse Jackie
Jane Krakowski, 30 Rock
Anna Chlumsky, Veep
Traci’s Pick: Jane Krakowski, 30 Rock
Since Rural Juror already lost in the Best Song category last week, it’s only fair that the singer herself get the accolade that she’s deserved for the past seven seasons.
Molly’s Pick: Julie Bowen, Modern Family
Always someone from Modern Family. Surprised Lily isn’t winning these things yet. (But I want to see Anna Chlumsky or Jane Krakowski take it home)
WINNER
Meritt Wever, Nurse Jackie
M: Meritt Wever went to the Fame High School. That is officially the only fact I know about her.
She got on stage, said “I gotta go, bye,” and did. I like the cut of your jib, Wever.
M: LL Cool J always wears the non-tweed version of the hat my dad always wears, so hope you’re into looking like a suburban Irish lawyer!
Writing for a Comedy Series
Jack Burditt & Robert Carlock, 30 Rock
Tina Fey & Tracey Wigfield, 30 Rock
David Crane & Jeffrey Klarik, Episodes
Louis C.K. & Pamela Adlon, Louie
Greg Daniels, The Office
Traci’s Pick: Louis C.K. & Pamela Adlon, Louie
I don’t even watch Louie, but I feel like he’s got this one in the bag. My heart lies with The Office, though. Best series finale I’ve ever seen.
Molly’s Pick: Greg Daniels, The Office
Loved the 30 Rock Finale, but splitting the finale will probably split the votes, no?
WINNER
Tina Fey & Tracey Wigfield, 30 Rock
T: Fun fact: I had a great run-in with Tracey Wigfield during a Mindy Project WGA event (she writes for them now, slash sorry that was #SoLA). Basically we bonded over our names.
M: Fun fact: I live in Rochester. It’s cold and everything’s closed. Good story Traci!
Supporting Actor in a Comedy Series
Adam Driver, Girls
Jesse Tyler Ferguson, Modern Family
Ed O’Neill, Modern Family
Ty Burrell, Modern Family
Bill Hader, Saturday Night Live
Tony Hale, Veep
Traci’s Pick: Ty Burrell, Modern Family
To me, Ty is the standout male actor on the show, so my vote’s on him. I have a soft spot in my heart for Jesse Tyler Ferguson, though. You know who should really with this? Bill Hader. No more Stefon you guys, NO MORE STEFON 😦
Molly’s Pick: Ed O’Neill, Modern Family
See Supporting Actress Comment, above. See also, Traci’s Stefon comment, above.
WINNER
Tony Hale, Veep
M: Robin Williams is about ¾ of the way through the long journey into turning into Jack Nicholson.
T: Wait… There should’ve been a cross-over 30 Rock/Mad Men ep where Jack Donaghy goes to Don Draper for advertising help
Lead Actress in a Comedy Series
Laura Dern, Enlightened
Lena Dunham, Girls
Edie Falco, Nurse Jackie
Amy Poehler, Parks and Recreation
Tina Fey, 30 Rock
Julia Louis-Dreyfus, Veep
Traci’s Pick:Julia Louis-Dreyfus, Veep
If you don’t watch Veep, you’re doing it wrong. But I think it’s pretty clear that both of us would rather have Amy Poehler win this one. Always Amy Poehler. Always.
Molly’s Pick: Julia Louis-Dreyfus, Veep
The real award goes to Amy Poehler for whatever awesome bit she schedules this year (do you have .gifs of the other years? I don’t but I’ll look) Why yes, they just happen to be on my Tumblr… (T)
WINNER
Julia Louis-Dreyfus, Veep
M: Once again, Anna Chlumsky should be taking home an award for Best Supporting Actress In an Awards Show Comedy Bit, for her appearance in “casually glancing up from her cell phone”
T: Guys…. If that bit Julia Louis-Dreyfus just did went over your head, you need to watch Veep. Now. Or, like after the Emmys.
M: WILL ARNETT YOU’VE MADE A TERRIBLE MISTAKE.
M: The voiceover just said “this is only the second time a woman has won for comedy directing,” but she put so much overemphasis on “a woman” that it sounded like she was saying “this is only the second time a woman has been born with XY chromosomes and also a penis and also was a dude.” Calm down, voiceover lady. It’s fine.
T: Observation: the writers of this year’s Emmys are on point.
Lead Actor in a Comedy Series
Jason Bateman, Arrested Development
Jim Parsons, The Big Bang Theory
Matt LeBlanc, Episodes
Don Cheadle, House of Lies
Louis C.K., Louie
Alec Baldwin, 30 Rock
Traci’s Pick: Louis C.K., Louie
Louie is juuuust edgy enough to garner the support of the viewers this year, and even though Alec has already won this category twice before, I think he has a good shot at winning for nostalgia purposes too.
Molly’s Pick: Louis C.K., Louie
What the shit is Episodes? I don’t feel like I’m very good at TV right now.
WINNER
Jim Parsons, The Big Bang Theory
T: I literally ‘UGHHed’ when Jim Parsons won. Sorry guys. Not a Big Bang Theory viewer.
M: I only don’t like it because I don’t think it’s very fun. Parsons is a very cute cartoon cat of a man and I loved Blossom on “Blossom.”
M: I think they’re going to do a tribute here. Let’s go over the ground rules, everyone. No clapping til it’s done. No unwrapping snacks. Try to look serious. Church rules, people. OK, the All In The Family Tribute was one of the most touching ones I’ve seen on an awards show in a good while. Kind of want to watch Jean Stapleton’s funny singing in the All In The Family theme song to rinse the sad out of my mouth.
T: I’ve only seen approx 15 minutes of Behind the Candelabra, but I still can’t believe Good Will Hunting and Gordon Gekko played lovers. Like, gay lovers.
M: Between Will Arnett and Michael Douglas, I haven’t seen this much spray tan since prom week at our high school in 2004 (when we were visiting as part of a little brothers/ little sisters thing, we’re not that old) (we’re so old)
Elton John’s piano piece best get a lot flashier, because it sounds like something I’d have played at my spring recital in 1995 (when I was a fetus I’m not that old)
T: “… I’m just gonna turn this down a little.” -Me, re: Elton John
“I mean you can probably just put it on mute, to be honest. Is there an episode of TV we could watch? – my music lover fan, Suzanne.
M: I’m clawing at my face in secondhand embarrassment like I haven’t done since Joey Potter sang On My Own at the Miss Windjammer Pageant. Go back to Baby Zachary Levon, Elton. He needs you more than us.
Lead Actress in a Miniseries or Movie
Jessica Lange, American Horror Story: Asylum
Helen Mirren, Phil Spector
Sigourney Weaver, Political Animals
Laura Linney, The Big C: Hereafter
Elisabeth Moss, Top of the Lake
Traci’s Pick: Jessica Lange, American Horror Story: Asylum
I REFUSE to watch American Horror Story. I can barely watch the promos or look at the ads. Have you SEEN the one with the snake in the mouths? Anyways, Jessica Lange will probs win this, although Elisabeth Moss was really good in Top of the Lake. She was honestly the best this about it. Everything else sucked.
Molly’s Pick: Helen Mirren, Phil Spector
This is a list comprised entirely of Actresses Awards Committees Can’t Get Enough Of, so it’s anyone’s game really.
WINNER
Laura Linney, The Big C
M: I checked my work email during Elton John’s song because it was so boring, so then I had to go get some things to stress eat, so if I’m a little fatter tomorrow than today, it’s on you, Liberace.
T: This How I Met Your Mother bit is making me sad that it’s the last season all over again.
M: I know. When long running tv shows end it feels like leaving high school except unlike our high school the tv shows are actually made up of people that I like.
Writing for a Drama Series
George Mastras, Breaking Bad
Thomas Schnauz, Breaking Bad
Julian Fellowes, Downton Abbey
David Benioff & D.B. Weiss, Game Of Thrones
Henry Bromell, Homeland
Traci’s Pick: Henry Bromell, Homeland
This particular episode from Henry Bromell, Q&A, was by far the best episode of the season, maybe even the series to date. No brainer.
Molly’s Pick: David Benioff & DB. Weiss, Game Of Thrones
I’m going solely off of which episode made people on Twitter freak out the most. Not sure if People Who Freak Out On Twitter is the same market demo as People Who Are In The Academy Of Television Arts & Sciences.
WINNER
Henry Bromell, Homeland
T: I feel like it’s almost impossible to talk to Connie Britton and not mention Friday Night Lights. Example: this bit.
M: Other example: the reassuring, Principal Taylor-esque shoulder squeeze she just gave the widow of the last category’s winner.
M: If Connie Britton had watched the preshow, she’d know that it’s pronounced Ahhhna Gunn.
Supporting Actress in a Drama Series
Christine Baranski, The Good Wife
Anna Gunn, Breaking Bad
Maggie Smith, Downton Abbey
Emilia Clarke, Game of Thrones
Morena Baccarin, Homeland
Christina Hendricks, Mad Men
Traci’s Pick: Anna Gunn, Breaking Bad
Because if Skyler’s gonna make it out of the ABQ alive, she might as well get an Emmy for it.
Molly’s Pick: Anna Gunn, Breaking Bad
Anna Gunn plays someone’s wife on Breaking Bad. He makes drugs. Some people don’t like her but it’s only because they’re sexist (everything I know about Breaking Bad I learned from Tumblr. Starting it soon. Honest.)
WINNER
Anna Gunn, Breaking Bad
T: GOD BLESS AMERICA SKYLER WINS, ONCE AND FOR ALL.
This show is turning out to be a tearjerker. Not prepared.
M: Getting real emotional. About to go through a lot of snack mix and kale chips. So, screw you, Elton John.
T: I just … love NPH for being virtually the only host who can sing and dance and act flawlessly.
M: I just clasped my hands and raised my shoulders up to my ears like those creepy smitten triplets in Beauty And The Beast when Gaston walked by.
T: Waiit… Castle can sing. Also, I’m freaking out over all the SYTYCD alum dancing right now.
M: So, numbers are up for each of the performers in the last number and lines will be open for an hour after the show.
M: Evidently the teleprompter wasn’t working during Mindy Kaling and Stephen Ammell’s presentation. I sort of just thought that was the level of writing we were supposed to expect for this kind of thing.
Reality-Competition Program
Dancing With the Stars
Project Runway
So You Think You Can Dance
The Amazing Race
The Voice
Top Chef
Traci’s Pick: The Amazing Race
Ugh, even though I think The Amazing Race is a good show, it has won every.single.year since the category was introduced in 2003. Except in 2010 when Top Chef won. In all honesty, So You Think You Can Dance should win, but that’s a completely biased opinion.
Molly’s Pick: The Voice
I’m one of those old-school folks who doesn’t love this category. SYTYCD is the only one I watch on the regs anymore, but I’d be surprised.
WINNER
The Voice
T: EXCUSE ME? THE VOICE?
M: Sometimes Cee Lo has that cat, though. Seems fair.
T: Kerry! I love you so much. And I usually love alllll your fashion choices… but… On second viewing, it’s really not that bad and kind of pretty.
M: Like Connie Britton, I tend to attribute Kerry Washington’s character’s traits to her. Totally fair to assume she’s as smart and driven as Olivia Pope, right?
T: Why is Dihann Carroll so far away from Kerry right now?
Supporting Actor in a Drama Series
Bobby Cannavale, Boardwalk Empire
Jonathan Banks, Breaking Bad
Aaron Paul, Breaking Bad
Jim Carter, Downton Abbey
Peter Dinklage, Game of Thrones
Mandy Patinkin, Homeland
Traci’s Pick: Mandy Patinkin, Homeland
I LOVE YOU AARON PAUL. I LOVE YOU SO MUCH. But after Mandy’s snub last year, I feel like the Academy will want to make up for its massive mistake in not nominating Inigo Montoya.
Molly’s Pick: Peter Dinklage, Game of Thrones
But Maybe Bobby Cannavale as a super-dark horse. Sometimes I think Emmy voters are like that one neighbor you had in 1992 who always wanted to show off that he had HBO. Yes, Academy. We know you have HBO.
WINNER
Bobby Cannavale, Boardwalk Empire
Lead Actor in a Drama Series
Bryan Cranston, Breaking Bad
Hugh Bonneville, Downton Abbey
Damian Lewis, Homeland
Kevin Spacey, House of Cards
Jon Hamm, Mad Men
Jeff Daniels, The Newsroom
Traci’s Pick: Bryan Cranston, Breaking Bad
I honestly kept switching my vote from Heisenberg to Nick Brody, but Heisenberg won in the end… just like he will in the series finale????
Molly’s Pick: Damian Lewis, Homeland
Know what? I really don’t know about this one.
WINNER
Jeff Daniels, The Newsroom
M: Like I said, the Academy members are really proud that they upgraded to the HBO package with their cable service.
T: Jeff Daniels “I didn’t expect this.” Yeah neither did we.
What in the actual fuck is going on? None of these people were expected to win!!!! #SelfishBallotTalk
But really, I like Jeff Daniels and all, but over Mandy Patinkin and Aaron Paul?
M: Don Cheadle is now hosting a mini-segment called “Shit That’s Supposed To Make You Cry That Was On TV One Time In the 60s”
Also supposed to make you cry: Carrie Underwood singing ‘Yesterday.’ So THAT’s what she’s doing here.
M: It’s ok, Jimmy Fallon’s here, we can all stop crying now. Really, that wasn’t cool, Cheadle.
T: Literally started clapping when Jimmy came on the stage. This mic bit is way funnier than it should be.
M: I’m getting nervous about this category. Like, because I care who wins and because I care how they’re going to fill a whole other hour after this.
Lead Actress in a Drama Series
Vera Farmiga, Bates Motel
Michelle Dockery, Downton Abbey
Claire Danes, Homeland
Robin Wright, House of Cards
Elisabeth Moss, Mad Men
Connie Britton, Nashville
Kerry Washington, Scandal
Traci’s Pick: Kerry Washington, Scandal
I think my pick is half who ‘will’ win and half who ‘should’ win. Either way, I’m sticking with Kerry in the event this is the one upset of the night and she steals it away from Claire Danes. The whole African-American actress hubbub mixed with the fact that I recently binge-watched Scandal and now am obsessed with it is why I’m choosing Olivia Pope. #GoGladiators
Molly’s Pick: Kerry Washington, Scandal
Claire Danes is trying to wrestle back her Ugly Cry Showdown title, but I have to go with Olivia Pope. Love Scandal.
WINNER
Claire Danes, Homeland
M: And, with Claire Danes’ win, she yanks the title of Best Ugly Crier from Anne Hathaway. You had a good run, Annie. Now why don’t you cry about it (you’re really quite good at it).
T: I had so much anxiety during that category and Kerry didn’t even win. Gah. Also Claire Danes WTF is with your hair. Just, no.
M: Anyone else having a tough time dealing with Damian’s face right now?
M: Traci, you don’t watch Game of Thrones, right? I don’t have enough time to get as into it as people on twitter convince me I would be. I also feel like it’s for people who play games with really big multi-sided dice and secret names. *even though I know super normy people who watch it.
T: No, I do not, and will not watch Game of Thrones. I have too many shows. Also, I don’t watch programs with dragons or vampires.
M: Sometimes I think about watching it so I could understand more memes. Everything about me is embarrassing.
T: The group writers intros are always my favoriteand OHMYGOD OPRAH.
M: So, who on Jimmy Kimmel is sleeping with Oprah? (Don’t say Gayle or Stedman, we know neither of those are happening)
T: I mean, if he’s not sleeping with her, they’re at least BFFs (Example A, Example B).
M: Right now the Emmys are reminding me of that one older relative who, every time you see them, has to tell you about another person you know who died.
T: I cannot express how excited I am about this choreography dance number. SYTYCD alum galore! Also, I just really like it when dance is featured on a major show. (If you want to see these amazing choreographers’ nominated routines, watch them here!)
M: When NPH started singing “Luck Be A Lady” I thought “hey, this always reminds me of Mrs Doubtfire!” So, everything nice is wasted on me. Just feed me Taco Bell and give me a stack of Lifetime movies. It’s all I deserve.
M: So I think it’s time for me to watch Boardwalk Empire (ICYMI 1920s people 1920s-danced to a 1920s Get Lucky.)
T: I AM LEGITIMATELY CRYING RIGHT NOW GUYS. IT’S A PROBLEM.
I LOVE ALL THOSE DANCERS AND CHOREOGRAPHERS. AND TRAVIS AND ALLISON – WHO WERE CONTESTANTS IN SEASON TWO OF SYTYCD ARE NOW NOMINATED FOR AN EMMY?! AND THE FACT THAT CHOREOGRAPHY IS EVEN ON THE PRIMETIME SHOW I ACTUALLY CANNOT.
M: I almost cried too, but nothing came out because I used up all my tears during the JFK thing. I’m Irish Catholic. The JFK funeral is like holding fresh cut onions under my eyes.
Sorry, did Mandy Moore just get introduced as Mandy Jo Moore? Not makin’ it better, Mand’.
Variety Series
Jimmy Kimmel Live
Late Night With Jimmy Fallon
Real Time With Bill Maher
Saturday Night Live
The Colbert Report
The Daily Show With Jon Stewart
Traci’s Pick: The Daily Show With Jon Stewart
It’s hard to pick anything else besides The Daily Show, because much like The Amazing Race, it’s dominated the competition since 2003. If anyone has a chance, it’s his buddy Stephen Colbert. A long shot would be my boy Jimmy Fallon, and I might have to Funkin’ Gonuts myself if he wins.
Molly’s Pick: The Colbert Report
The Colbert Report has been pretty on its game this year, but it would be nice to see Jimmy Fallon win since that show’s been having more fun than I’ve ever really seen a late night show have. However, this isn’t community rec U4-U6 soccer, so I guess you don’t get a trophy for “going out there and having fun.”
WINNER
The Colbert Report
T: *caps lock rant over* In other news, I am doing horribly with my ballot.
M: You could totally change your answers before you post it, but you wouldn’t do it. You’re the kind of person who would leave money at an unattended farm stand. (I’m the kind of person who lives near farm stands. Like I said, everything about me is embarrassing).
M: These spread-out tributes are really killing me. This is why you don’t do funerals in installments. Best to get it all over with at once.
T: Seriously, I’m crying again… Maybe I should seek psychiatric help…
M: Nah you’re good. My mom texted me during this that she was driving my nephew and he kept telling her “you really, really have to tell Aunt Molly that I love her” and I cried for like five minutes. OK, or maybe we’re just both messes.
T: “This just in: no one in America is winning their office Emmy pool.”- NPH Yes.
M: Yeah. I could win at this point just because everyone’s doing so poorly. The winner will probably be someone who doesn’t watch TV and just goes by whatever has the best name (read: my football pool strategy).
Anna Farris is wearing a Sleeping Beauty wig and a very nice yellow dress.
T: This lovely British woman winning for The Hour is just the absolute loveliest. Lovely.
M: She’s really, very lovely.
Supporting Actor in a Miniseries or Movie
James Cromwell, American Horror Story: Asylum
Zachary Quinto, American Horror Story: Asylum
Scott Bakula, Behind the Candelabra
John Benjamin Hickey, The Big C: Hereafter
Peter Mullan, Top of the Lake
Traci’s Pick: James Cromwell, American Horror Story: Asylum
See: Lead Actress in a Miniseries… but I mean he was great in Babe.
Molly’s Pick: Scott Bakula, Behind the Candelabra
I suppose.
WINNER
James Cromwell, American Horror Story: Asylum
T: Kevin Spacey looked perturbed when he flicked that piece of paper into the lens. He should be used to speaking into cameras.
M: MORE DEAD PEOPLE. Jeeesus. What is this, the Hogwarts Portrait Gallery? No. Because at Hogwarts, people are better behaved than to clap at inappropriate times. Bunch of damn Slytherins here.
So, Behind the Candelabra is like… really happening right now, huh? I just can’t take anything seriously with Candelabra in the title. Also: more music from my 4th grade piano recital.
Supporting Actress in a Miniseries or Movie
Sarah Paulson, American Horror Story: Asylum
Ellen Burstyn, Political Animals
Charlotte Rampling, Restless
Alfre Woodard, Steel Magnolias
Imelda Staunton, The Girl
Traci’s Pick: Sarah Paulson, American Horror Story: Asylum
Sarah Paulson is one of those people for me that I always remember them for that one thing they did that probably no one else does. Studio 60 on the Sunset Strip. RIP.
Molly’s Pick: Imelda Staunton, The Girl
I typed 3 different actresses before settling on Imelda Staunton. Never realized I cared so much about supporting actresses in miniseries.
WINNER
Ellen Burstyn, Political Animals
M: Ellen Burstyn looks very… diaphanous tonight.
T: Ellen Burstyn: Forever the crazy lady in Requiem for a Dream.
M: 10:56 EST. How many awards to go? Put on the hustle, Emmys! You can do it!
Lead Actor in a Miniseries or Movie
Michael Douglas, Behind the Candelabra
Matt Damon, Behind the Candelabra
Benedict Cumberbatch, Parade’s End
Al Pacino, Phil Spector
Toby Jones, The Girl
Traci’s Pick: Michael Douglas, Behind the Candelabra
Michael Douglas playing a gay, rhinestone wearing, piano player who has sex with Matt Damon? Yeah, just give him the Emmy now.
Molly’s Pick: Michael Douglas, Behind the Candelabra
I have nothing to add to Traci’s comment. That’s pretty much it.
WINNER
Michael Douglas, Behind the Candelabra
T: What is Michael Douglas actually saying right now.
M: He’s saying that Matt Damon’s a top, I think. That means what you think it does. Michael Douglas: making my stomach feel not great since he told us all how he got cancer. Also “My wife Catherine?” Didn’t they just get divorced?
T: I think they’re separated? Slash maybe he’s just trying to be nice about their split. What a great guy.
M: You know, I’m just a simple, old-fashioned girl who thinks that once you’ve gotten throat cancer from your spouse’s vag, you’re in it for life. (Sorry) (No I’m not. Michael Douglas should be sorry. AND CZJ I guess. Everyone who made it possible for me to know that fact)
Miniseries or Movie
American Horror Story: Asylum
Behind the Candelabra
Phil Spector
Political Animals
The Bible
Top of the Lake
Traci’s Pick: Behind the Candelabra
Sorry everyone else, this is the year for the gays.
Molly’s Pick: Top Of The Lake
I think other people liked it more than I did.
WINNER
Behind the Candelabra
M: Claire Danes is doing awesome, but I’d just like to take this moment to point out that all of the best actress nominees this year were played by Tatiana Maslany. Amazing how you just forget that it’s the same actress. /#stillbitter
T: Will Ferrell… pretty sure these are his actual kids. Are they getting paid for this or straight up child labor?
M: Oh my God I think you’re right. I thought those Asian kids from the last award show were his real kids. But this is probably more correct.
Comedy Series
The Big Bang Theory
Girls
Louie
Modern Family
30 Rock
Veep
Traci’s Pick: Modern Family
Modern Family 3-peat. 30 Rock should win based on sentimentality alone. Blerg.
Molly’s Pick: Modern Family
I like Modern Family – really, I do. I’d just rather see 30 Rock win.
WINNER
Modern Family
T: “This may have been the saddest Emmys ever, but we could not be happier.” Steve Levitan, Modern Family EP, who has hit the Emmy nail on the head.
M: Yeah. The tone of the Emmys is supposed to be all “TV forever!” but this year it’s like “TV forever! Until you die. Everyone dies. Here’s some people who did this year, for instance. And JFK, which was a while ago,but you know, why not?”
Drama Series
House of Cards
Breaking Bad
Downton Abbey
Game of Thrones
Homeland
Mad Men
Traci’s Pick: Breaking Bad
Basically, just give Breaking Bad ALL the awards while you can. ALL of them.
Molly’s Pick: Breaking Bad
If not this year, then next. Source: tumblr.
WINNER
Breaking Bad
T: Finally Breaking Bad wins and all is right with the world.
M: Except this Emmy telecast. It just left me feeling kind of “off.” Speaking of which, now you can all go watch Breaking Bad! I don’t have any spoilers I’m just taking it that something crazy happened.
Thanks everyone for reading!! Check back tomorrow for our Best and Worst Dressed Lists!!! Go drown your sorrows in your Emmy ballots now…
I’m a Rhoda, not a Mary. If you’re a classic tv fan, an old person, or both, you’ll remember Mary Richards and Rhoda Morgenstern as one of the sitcom world’s best buddy duos on The Mary Tyler Moore Show. Mary was sort of the straight man, and eminently sweet and lovable. Rhoda was sassy, self-deprecating, others-deprecating (is that a thing?) and had a disastrous dating life.
I watched Mary Tyler Moore repeats as a kid, but it was by and large a “grown-up” show to me. See, I could watch shows about adults in my era (see: Friends), but a bunch of adults in the 70s didn’t really resonate with me. Now that I’m a young professional, The Mary Tyler Moore show is my life. Since college, my friend and I have even used “throwing our hats in the air” as a catchall expression for just generally succeeding at life.
Rhoda Morgenstern probably reminds you of either yourself or one of your friends (in which case you’re a Mary, and likely far more likable and bubbly than I am). When prepping for a beauty contest, Rhoda introduced herself: “My favorite hobbies are cheerleading, liking people, and living in America.” Still, Mary always had the good luck, as Rhoda informed her on a down day: “You’re having a lousy streak. I happen to be having a terrific streak. Soon the world will be back to normal. Tomorrow you will meet a crown head of Europe and marry. I will have a fat attack, eat 3000 peanut butter cups and die.” Then, there’s the voice-over from season one of Rhoda:
Whomever decided that a voice-over monolog would make a good theme song was freaking crazy. It was the 70s, and everyone was just kind of trying things I guess. But still. Rhoda. I love Rhoda.
Not to mention, the gal could really pull off a turban.
Of course, there’s no Rhoda without Valerie Harper. The fact is, Harper’s pretty great in her own right. She got her start touring with Second City, and appeared on the super-60s (but still funny) comedy album When You’re In Love The Whole World Is Jewish. She ran for SAG president but lost to Melissa Gilbert, which isn’t even really fair because who could vote against Half-Pint Ingalls, except for Nellie Freaking Olsen? Harper even advocated for the ERA in the 70s, and you can tell that I have the boundless, baseless optimism of someone who was raised in Buffalo Bills territory, because every time it’s introduced I’m like “you know, maybe this is our year.” In 2006, she called Britney Spears a “Disney Hooker.” Harper also offered one of my favorite bits of life advice:
“Stop working so hard at being interesting and focus on what’s outside yourself. There are universes out there that need to be explored. And, an interested person is extremely interesting.”
This fall, Valerie Harper has advanced cancer and a reality tv contract – because she’s Rhoda Morgenstern and she does what she wants. So, on Monday I voluntarily watched Dancing With The Stars even though I am not a suburban lady in my early 60s. I’ll keep watching as long as she’s on the show – and possibly longer if Bill Nye and Jessie Spano make it farther. I was a 90s kid, after all. I’m not watching because it’s amazing that Harper is responding unbelievably well to treatment, or inspiring that she’s undertaking a serious dance regimen on top of a serious illness. I’m watching because Rhoda Morgenstern was hilarious, and so is the woman who plays her. Which means that – at the very least – if a routine is really awful, or someone falls down, or the costumes are atrocious, I think we can count on her for some witty, Rhoda-like commentary.
[Ed. note: This was initially written to appear this past Monday, but was postponed to write about one of our other favorite funny ladies. I don’t think Valerie Harper cares, though. Meaning: I don’t think she’s one of our readers. But, the delay allowed me to watch DWTS before posting, and Harper did not disappoint. But would it have killed them to put her in a turban? For old time’s sake, I mean.]
In 1993, the men of Bayside High left Mr. Belding behind and continued on to higher education by attending California University. Now if they were real, which in all honesty they sometimes are in my head, Zack Morris, AC Slater and Samuel ‘Screech’ Powers kicked off their journey exactly 20 years ago this week. “20 YEARS?!”, you say? Yeah. 20 years. 1993 was 20 years ago, and 2003 was 10 years ago, a fact that I always always fail to believe.
Just like real life, Saved by the Bell (the high school era) ended in May, and months later, the crew started college in September and while the constant repeats made us believe this iteration ran on for approx 2 seasons, it actually only ran for 19 episodes. That’s 19 episodes for young, impressionable kids to find out what college life is like through a fake TV show. Seriously, I didn’t know anyone in college at the time, so what I saw on SBTB was what I assumed college (and high school for that matter) was going to be like.
Of course, now I know that it wasn’t really supposed to be treated as a college bible.
Expectation:
All your best friends will go to the same college as you.
Not only will your gang ALL be accepted into the same school, but you will all decide to go there TOGETHER.
Reality:
You will go to college alone.
If you’re lucky, you’ll have a buddy or two. Otherwise, man up and find new friends.
Expectation:
You will share a spacious triple and suite with your roommates
Reality:
You will be crammed into a double with a stranger
Robin Scherbatsky’s cubicle is roughly the size of a normal college dorm room.
Expectation:
You will meet a dreamy boyfriend/girlfriend – and that person will be your professor
Oh Professor Lasky. He was a handsome, single dad who crossed the line with his student/babysitter. At least you’re the reason Kelly decided to finally tie the knot with Zack.
Reality:
You will date randoms and half of them will probably be gay
That’s what college is for, right?
Expectation:
You will be forced to join a sorority/fraternity and undergo a ridiculous hazing process
And that hazing process will include Nickelodeon slime and a frat leader who is actually the younger version of Billy Chambers from Scandal.
Reality:
You don’t have to join Greek Life at all
Nothing against Greek Life, but if you’re like me and are too lazy and poor to join an organized group of friends, this will be a relief.
Expectation:
You will be able to redecorate anything and everything in your dorm
And your suite (which connects the boys room to the girls room) will be big enough for a poker table in the living room.
Reality:
No tacks, staples, tape on the walls, no microwave, no hot plate, no fridge, and absolutely no room for anything.
In reality, not a big deal. But still annoying.
Expectation:
Turning a dorm room into a rave will be super easy and fun and include stolen nitrous oxide from the science department
Painting the walls black will be a breeze! And all these people in a small area won’t break any RA-set sound ordinances or anything.
Reality:
You won’t even go to rave, just a bunch of house parties in dingy apartments/basements, fill your red solo cups with indiscernable types of alcohol
Honestly, all part of the college experience and worth the vomiting for the anecdotes
Expectation:
You will befriend a lab monkey who later escapes but then comes back
This was an actual plot line. And that chimp is actually wearing a dress.
Reality:
No monkeys. No monkeys at all.
Thank God. Although it sounds kinda fun, no? Yeah, no.
New York City was abuzz with fashionistas last week, as the world’s best and brightest designers gathered in the Big Apple to show off their collections for Spring 2014. A lot of eyes are on the models that walk the runways, but it was also a time for celebrities to grab a front row seat at their favorite designers’ shows and prove that they care about clothes as much as the fashion editors sitting next to them. Not to mention that front row at a Fashion Week is usually the best time to see celebs together that you normally would in the outside world. For example, this picture from the Burberry show during Paris Fashion Week 2012:
(A confused) Aaron Paul, Dita Von Teese, Harry Styles, Dev Patel and Harvey Weinstein. Or, the next Ocean’s 14.
Here’s some of the best stars that were (sometimes uncomfortably) sitting in the coveted seats and the clothes that were modeled before them.
Alexander Wang: Terry Richardson, a girl who might be Zoe Kravitz, Kanye and Miguel
Herve Leger: Nicki Minaj taking a selfie instead of watching the runway show…
Y-3: Tunic wearing ex-boyfriend of Selena Gomez sporting a ‘mustache’
Richard Chai: Zachary Quinto as the fourth (actually fifth) Jonas Brother?
Opening Ceremony: RiRi, her bff Melissa Forde, Miguel and the beautiful rule breaking moth Ann Perkins/Rashida Jones (aka the bench i would most like to sit on)
Tadashi Shoji: The moment when a 15 year old is older than a 40-year-old Alyssa Milano
Alicia Keys, Anna Wintour and Maria Sharpova
Victoria Beckham: Mr. Beckham, the real princess of the UK and Anna Wintour actually showing some human emotion
Happy Amy Poehler Day! In celebration of the birthday of our favorite comedienne/life guru/producer/queen, we offer a collection of things other celebrities have said about Amy. After all, the best way to know that a person is awesome is if everyone who knows them says so (but let’s be real, those opinions hold a lot more weight coming from a famous person. No offense to your non-famous friends; sure they’re great). In case you’re wondering, the second-best way is for the person to just straight-up tell everyone that they’re awesome. Or, I guess just to consistently be fantastic and see if people catch on.
Let’s take this September 16 to remind ourselves to live in such a way that this is how people talk about us behind our backs:
Aziz Ansari
I have found that she is as kind and caring a person as she is hilarious. Simply put, Amy Poehler is my hero.
Vanessa Bayer (describing her first night on SNL):
Yeah, I was so emotional. I started tearing up. It was so surreal. I actually stayed on stage because I wanted to hug Amy Poehler. She was the host that week, and I wanted to thank her because she was such a wonderful person to work with. So I gave her a hug, and I can’t remember exactly what I said, but I said something like, ‘It was amazing to do my first show with you,’ and she held my hand and walked offstage with me. I don’t think I’ll ever forget that. She was so kind and generous.
Matt Besser:
These days you don’t think of Amy as a female comedian, you just think of her as a comedian, and I think that’s a plus. And she didn’t go for that whole notion that women are not treated fairly. She was just like “I’m just going to do my best and not give a shit,” and it worked. She didn’t care about being pretty and dainty on stage, or charming, or all those things you might say about a successful sitcom actress, a prototypical one. She could be weird or nasty or ugly or whatever. Those are things that guys more typically do. But really it’s what a comedian should do and that’s why she is.
Rachel Dratch (when asked about the “inordinate” amount of page space devoted to Amy Poehler in her book, Girl Walks Into A Bar):
I guess she just has a good aura. People gravitate to it. She’s very supportive and she’s got a good combo of being cool enough that she’s one of the guys, but she’s also sensitive and wise.
Tina Fey (in Bossypants, a book that was a decoy answer on Million Second Quiz this week. If you’re reading this more than 2 months in the future, maybe Google what that was. Jimmy Fallon objected to a gross bit Amy was doing and she totally shut him down):
With that exchange, a cosmic shift took place. Amy made it clear that she wasn’t there to be cute. She wasn’t there to play wives and girlfriends in the boys’ scenes. She was there to do what she wanted to do and she did not fucking care if you like it. I was so happy. Weirdly, I remember thinking, ‘My friend is here! My friend is here!’ Even though things had been going great for me at the show, with Amy there, I felt less alone.
Kathryn Hahn
It all starts with [Amy] Poehler. She’s such an incredible number one to have on a contact sheet, on a cast list. Cream just rises. She’s such a stud and such a nice person. She’s a goddess. I worshipped her before, and I worship her even more after seeing how she behaves on a set
Mamrie Hart:
I love women with balls, and Amy’s got the biggest sack swinging in Hollywood at the moment. She really doesn’t give a shit if people don’t agree with her on a subject.
Rashida Jones:
I would go gay for her. It doesn’t seem fair that I get to work with her. I love her unconditionally.
Mindy Kaling (describing the time during her brief, not-awesome guest writing gig on SNL when Amy made her come out with the other writers and actors):
But when this popular, pretty genius made this kind gesture to me? That’s the moment I started adoring Amy Poehler. She knew I was going to be a coward, and she was going to have to gently facilitate me into being social… When I said something even a little bit funny, Amy cackled warmly. (This sounds weird, but that’s the best way I know to describe Amy Poehler’s laugh: a warm, intoxicating cackle.)
Seth Meyers:
We started together on the same day and we just hit it off right away. On our fourth show, we did this scene called “Little Sleuths”—they were like Encyclopedia Brown solving real murders—and we thought it was going to be this big franchise and were already seeing the Little Sleuths action figures in the NBC Experience Store. It got cut from dress, like, five times and it never aired again. We always said that the one case the Little Sleuths couldn’t solve is what the fuck happened to the Little Sleuths.
She’s this incredible combination of warm, silly, and smart, which I think makes her such an engaging performer… There’s just no meanness to anything Poehler does. Her outlook and attitude about how to work, and how to be funny, are contagious.
Nick Offerman (referencing multiple FNL characters in a transparent and successful attempt to make me fall in love with him):
I met Amy in the early 90′s and she is like a superhero mixed with both Coach and Tammie Taylor from FNL, as well as Tim Riggins and a little Landry.
Jim O’Heir (while campaigning for Amy as Best Lead Actress In A Comedy Series):
Amy’s awesome. Yeah. You know, I guess when you get the most lines on the show, you get nominated for awards. Put another one on her shelf… How about someone saying Hey Jim, How’s it been for you, Jim? Amy’s awesome. And I’m rooting for her to get that Emmy. I hope you win… you son of a bitch.
Aubrey Plaza:
She’s already kind of my girlfriend, and I’m not saying that in a jokey way. We had a moment last year, late at night, when we decided we were gonna end up together. For now, we have to let boys come and go, but we’re kind of in love.
Bill Poehler (Amy’s dad):
She would just jump in and succeed or fail—it wouldn’t matter. Once, in the fourth grade, the principal was on stage and he had the mike up high. Then little Amy walks across, goes up to the mike, grabs the little knob, twists it, pulls it down, and I said to myself, Oh my God, she has no stage fright whatsoever.
Eileen Poehler (Amy’s mom):
We recently went to “Parks and Rec,” and our biggest thrill is hearing how much the crew, from the girl who cleans the trailer to the driver to the director, like working with Amy. How good she is to everyone. She’s the same girl. We’re really proud of that.
Chris Pratt:
I disagree that talented people are nice to be around. No. I’m serious. Especially when they’re number one on the call sheet. It’s the truth. Most of time when someone is really talented and they’re the top dog actor, the first name that comes up on the screen, basically, Amy’s position on this, they’re not always nice. And the fact that you are, and the fact that you made everybody feel good, and you always laugh at jokes, I’ve never seen you in a bad mood, it all rolls down hill. This whole family vibe and everyone getting along well, it comes from you. It has always come from you.
Maya Rudolph:
If you go to eat with Amy, it’s like, “Alright, let’s order. Does everybody know what they are going to get?” She’s in charge, she’s the leader, she’s like, “We’re not wasting any time, let’s do this.” And in the most loving way, I can say, she’s incredibly bossy. And I fucking love that about her. And I love the combination of the fact that she is a teeny tiny person and she’s really tough.
Retta:
Well, Mike Schur is the boss, but we call Amy our fearless leader. I think whoever the lead of the show is dictates what the set is like. Amy is always planning nights out for us. She’s just so cool, she’s not a diva. English directors when they come in want to do tons and tons of takes. And I can tell she wants to wrap it up but she just says “sure” because she wants them to be comfortable.
Andy Samberg:
Amy is beloved by all. That’s her secret move. No one doesn’t like her… I came in when Amy was kind of in the middle of her run. I would say her and Seth, maybe more than anyone, really looked out for me and took me under their wing and made sure I was doing OK.
Michael Schur:
There is exactly one thing in the entire range of acting that Amy Poehler does not do well: impressions. So we make her do them constantly.
Adam Scott
It was intimidating at first, but she’s so cool and down to earth, that it immediately went away. Still, when I’m working with her, I’m, you know, taken aback by how good she is and how hilarious she is and quick and all of that. It sounds kind of lame to say, but I do learn from her a lot, you know, when we’re working together. She would think that’s lame, but it is true that I’m kind of in awe of how great she is.
Mike Scully
Amy Poehler is the funniest person on TV, period. The fact that she’s the nicest is a bonus.
Emily Spivey
Amy’s a hero. I cannot think of anyone who’s done more, in my opinion, in front of the camera and behind the scenes for ladies than Amy. If I could make a lady comedy flag, it would have Amy Poehler’s face on it. She’s just amazing. She’s a little blond girl, but she’s gonna fucking get this done. And everyone’s in love with Amy. She has a way just making everyone- boys and girls- feel so comfortable and confident in not only what she’s doing but what they’re doing.
Taylor Swift (on Poehler’s shortcomings as a human being in general):
There’s a special place in hell for women who don’t help other women.
Casey Wilson:
Amy Poehler’s like a cheerleader—kind of like a mama bear. She wanted the other women to succeed and that’s trickled down to Kristen, and then trickled down to me. I think people want there to be some sort of feud or tension, but it’s like “Why can only one of us do well?” One time I remember we were doing a “Mad Men” sketch, and I was playing the redhead. And I had a funny bit where basically I came in and dropped off some papers, but I didn’t have a line. It wasn’t even Amy’s sketch, but she piped up and said to the writers, “Let’s give Casey a funny line when she comes in.” She didn’t have to do that.
It’s the most wonderful time of the year! No, I’m not talking about Christmas, it’s the glorious return of television after the fall hiatus! While our favorite shows are returning, lest we forget there is a whole new crop of shows just dying to be kept alive by network execs.
In television history, this time of year determines who will have a job at the end of the season and who will not. Some are bad, some are great, some are bad but go on for multiple seasons (Two and a Half Men), some are great but only live on for half a season (RIP Ben and Kate).
But have no fear. We are here to help guide you to the land of good television. Who knows if these shows will be the last ones standing, but at least you’ll waste your time on good shows instead of the bad ones. Do you have any favorites that are missing from this list?
The Dramas
The Blacklist
Premieres: Monday, September 23rd – NBC – 10pm
Starring: James Spader (Boston Legal, The Office, all around 80s icon), Diego Klattenhoff (Uncle Mike from Homeland, Shane Omen from Mean Girls)
Plot: James Spader plays Red Reddington, one of the FBI’s most wanted. He surprisingly turns himself in and offers to help catch a long-thought-dead terrorist, but he’ll only work with new FBI profiler Liz Keen, played by Megan Boone. This terrorist guy isn’t the only criminal Red can help put behind bars, he has a massive list – a ‘blacklist’ if you will – of other wanted politicians, mobsters, spies and terrorists, but will only help the FBI if Liz continues as his partner.
Why You Should Give It a Shot: Out of all the network shows debuting this fall, The Blacklist tested better than all other 125 NBC drama pilots in the past decade. Better than ER? So this has to be good. Or the pilot, at least.
Marvel’s Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D
Premieres: Tuesday, September 24th – ABC – 8pm
Starring: Clark Gregg (duh, Agent Coulson), Ming-Na Wen (ER, the greatest Disney classic Mulan)
Plot: You may remember Agent Coulson from the Marvel superhero movie franchise, and now he’s getting his on show. Coulson puts together a task force to investigate the growing number of people with superpowers, and that’s pretty much it.
Why You Should Give It a Shot: Because it’s supposed to be the biggest new show this season, and you don’t want to be the guy who has nothing to say around the watercooler the following day. Do people still go to watercoolers?
Masters of Sex
Premieres: Sunday, September 29th – Showtime – 10pm
Starring: Michael Sheen (Frost/Nixon, Wesley Snipes on 30 Rock, ex-boyfriend of Rachel McAdams), Lizzy Caplan (Party Down, Cloverfield, ex-costar of Rachel McAdams)
Plot: Set in the 1950s, this drama centers around William Masters (Sheen) and Virginia Johnson (Caplan) as they take on the risque study of researching the medical side of sex.
Why You Should Give It a Shot: This is the only non-network show on the list, but it seems too good to leave it off. Shows that push the button are always poised to be good TV, but with a cast like this and the perfect mix of drama and comedy, this is definitely one to look out for come awards season.
The Comedies
Trophy Wife
Premieres: Tuesday, September 24th – ABC – 9:30pm
Starring: Bradley Whitford (The West Wing, Studio 60 on the Sunset Strip, often the center of my dreams), Malin Ackerman (Couples Retreat, Rock of Ages), Marcia Gay Harden (Mystic River, season two resident lawyer on The Newsroom), Michaela Watkins (former SNL cast member)
Plot: Bradley Whitford is on his third wife – the young, reformed party girl Kate (Ackerman). She is thrown into an unconventional family, which includes his first ex-wife Diane (Harden), the hardass doctor with whom he has two teenage kids, and second ex-wife Jackie, a granola/hippie mom with whom he adopted a spunky Asian kid.
Why You Should Give It a Shot: Because Bradley Whitford needs to be on a TV series that is successful again. Also it’s funny. Don’t trust me? (rude) You can watch the pilot on Hulu before it comes on the small screen!
Brooklyn Nine Nine
Premieres: Tuesday, September 17th – FOX- 8:30pm
Starring: Andy Samberg (SNL, Celeste and Jesse Forever, often has Dick in a Box), Andre Braugher (Homicide: Life on the Street), Chelsea Peretti (former Parks & Rec writer, stand up comic, Twitter life ruiner)
Plot: A police workplace comedy featuring carefree cop Jake Peralta (Samberg) who has to work under a new no nonsense boss in Captain Ray Holt (Braugher).
Why You Should Give It a Shot: A show created by Parks and Rec mastermind and The Office’s Mose, Michael Schur and another Parks writer Dan Goor, it’s sure to have a few LOL moments. Basically Schur’s TV forte is getting former SNL cast members and making them stars of their own comedies. It helps that he used to write for SNL too.
Super Fun Night
Premieres: Wednesday, October 2nd – ABC – 9:30pm
Starring: Rebel Wilson (Bridesmaids, Pitch Perfect, all-around hilarious lady), Liz Lapira (Crazy Stupid Love, Don’t Trust The B-, Traffic Light aka shows only I watched)
Plot: Kimmie Boubier (Wilson) is a junior attorney who has had a standing date every Friday with her best friends for the past 13 years. Their motto is “Always together! Always inside!”, which makes me feel like we’re soulmates. But now because of a cute British co-worker and networking opportunities, Kimmie feels the need to actually go out and meet people for once.
Why You Should Give It a Shot: Rebel Wilson. Executive produced by Conan O’Brien. Theoretically this show should be a hit.
Cookies + Sangria 