Category Archives: Lists

Playlist of the Month: Modern Day Fourth of July Songs

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Happy 4th of July! This is one of my favorite holidays. Not because I’m so into America (though I mean land of the free and all of that), but because it’s such a laid-back, no-expectations day that it can almost never disappoint you. As long as you have friends, fireworks, and food, you’re all set. The only thing missing is a good playlist — just call it our love letter to America.

Enjoy the entire playlist on Spotify!

Traci’s Picks:

Born to Run – Bruce Springsteen

You’re probably expecting Born in the USA. But I thought I’d throw a curveball, and also I like this song better.

Jack and Diane – John Mellencamp

This may be a little ditty about Jack and Diane (two American kids growing up in the Heartland), but apparently it’s also about the loss of innocence amongst teens. So yeah, kids in the USA go through life changing experiences, and that’s a part of American culture.

All-American Girl – Carrie Underwood

A touching tale of a boy who grows up, falls in love, gets married, and hopes for a son to carry on his football legacy, his dreams changed when he has a baby girl. An ‘All-American’ baby girl. But hey, it’s 2013, girls can play football too. Theoretically.

Summer Nights – Rascal Flatts

Fourth of July obviously means summertime, and this is a great song to play if you’re chillin in the back of your friend’s pickup truck drinking an ice cold Budwiser in the middle of a corn field. Note: I’ve never done this, I just imagine that’s what kids in the country too.

Sweet Caroline – Neil Diamond

I think my thing with Fourth of July songs is that I picked songs that everyone knows. Independence day is celebrating America- One Nation, Under God, etc. etc. What better way to come together as a whole than by singing a song together that everyone knows? In saying that, Sweet Caroline personally reminds me of the Red Sox and Fenway Park – baseball, Americana, etc. And the ‘Ba Ba Ba’? Who doesn’t love a good ‘Ba Ba Ba’?

Party in the USA – Miley Cyrus

Because, America.

Molly’s picks:

America, Fuck Yeah – Team America: World Police

On the 4th of July, you will be hearing a lot of soaring, majestic numbers about amber waves of grain and there being ain’t no doubt you love this land. Fine. But I like an America that can laugh at itself. LOL jingoism.

Under The Boardwalk – The Drifters

Independence day barbecues are all about the cheerful oldies. You need to play a selection of the summery ones – whether it’s this song, Summer In The City, Surfin’ USA, Itsy Bitsy Teeny Weeny Yellow Polka Dot Bikini … whatever it takes to make you feel like Megan Draper without all the, you know, troubles.

Electric Feel – MGMT

    If I picture outdoor summer parties from the past 6 years or so, this song is always playing. I don’t know who made the rule that every 20-something’s summer party in the 2010s has to play MGMT, but the rule exists and you may as well follow it.

Summertime – DJ Jazzy Jeff & The Fresh Prince

    Right?! Right.

At The Beach – The Avett Brothers

    If it’s 4th of July, I need some kind of country or folksy music. It’s no wonder that the best 4th of July celebration I’ve been to was in Nashville. Something about the modern version of country/bluegrass/folk just makes me really happy to be from the good ol’ U.S. of A. So put on Devil Makes Three, or the Avett Brothers, or Father John Misty, or Old Crow Medicine Show, or whatever, and thank God that you live in America.

American Pie – Don MacLean

    Everybody knows this song, everybody loves this song, and it’s one of the best singalong tunes I know. Plus the word “American” is in it so… you know.

Hilariously Embarrassing (Bad) Celebrity Fan Art

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Ah, fan art. The visual representation of when your interest in something goes from like to love. Normal to unhealthy obsession. Talking about it to your friends to talking about it in message boards 24/7.

But hey, I’m not here to judge. I’m just here to share with you the talents that are among us. Those brave enough to share their own celebrity idols immortalized forever into pen and paper. Here are a few ‘quality’ pieces I think should be shared with you all. Even if they do give you nightmares. Apologies.

The One with the badly drawn Friends

Ross Geller, everyone.

I think this particular fan thought Ross was slowly becoming Marcel the Monkey.

Why Rachel’s suddenly really into cellos is beyond me.

Did you miss Joey’s latest stint in The Walking Dead?

Who do you think you are, some kind of superstar?

The artist of this Tom Cruise portrait must have gone to the same art school as the Jesus fresco restoration person.

ummm James Franco?

The Dark Knight also doubles as Greg Brady

how dare you ruin the queen.

This could either be Nicolas Cage or Chad Kroeger of Nickelback, TBH.

Music makes the people come together (yeah)

Speaking of Chad Kroeger…. I’M SORRY

JT has never looked hotter

Marky Mark’s feelin the good vibrations fo sho

No baby, baby, baby. Beiber!

Zayn from One Direction – aka the best looking one in the group. But not in this particular sketch.

Fandomiest of all the Fandoms

Just, why?

The nerdy girl from The Middle falls in love with a really pale vampire

I think this is another Twilight person? Too hard to tell.

Fun Fact: David Tennant had the craziest eyes of all the Dr. Whos

Playlist of the Month: Summer Jams

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Well folks, we’re well into the summer season now, and the sun is showing itself a little more often than it was a couple months ago. School’s out (which I’m assuming doesn’t effect most of our readers, but you can still feel the freedom in the air), the dresses and sandals come out from the closet, and eating ice cream and fro-yo everyday is more acceptable than in the winter months.

So to celebrate the season, here are our favorite jams for this summer. No ‘Call Me Maybe’, but a few good picks for 2013.

Enjoy the entire playlist on Spotify!

Traci’s Picks

We Can’t Stop – Miley Cyrus

I have no shame in saying I love Miley. She doesn’t give a fuck, and that’s why I appreciate her. Do I think the music video for this song is appropriate for her younger fans? Not really. But do I think she did it because she can and she looks good while twerkin’? Yes. It’s her party she can do what she wants.

Blurred Lines – Robin Thicke ft T.I. and Pharrell

This song should come with no explanation. Sex.

Disclosure – Latch

I first heard this song on a recent episode of So You Think You Can Dance, and ever since I found out what the song was, I haven’t stopped listening to it. Like it will end and I will immediately play it again. Plus nothing says summer like SYTYCD.

The Way – Ariana Grande ft. Mac Miller

Don’t know who Ariana Grande is? She’s a Nickelodeon starlet who’s 19, but has a lot of tween fans. Sound familiar? She’s still in her innocent phase, but boy does she have a great range.

Cruise – Florida Georgia Line ft. Nelly

Need a song to play while you’re driving through the country? Here’s your jam.

Miss Movin On – Fifth Harmony

I’ve mentioned Fifth Harmony here before, and again, no shame in liking them. They’ve come such a long way since they were thrown together on The X Factor, and this is the perfect first single for the girls to release as a hopeful summer hit (and their acoustic version is balls to the wall amazing). I have big hopes for these gals!

Molly’s picks

Q.U.E.E.N. – Janelle Monae feat. Erykah Badu

As soon as I heard that Janelle Monae and Erykah Badu were collaborating I was like “okay, then, that’s my new favorite song.” Like, before I even heard it, because how could you go wrong? And let me tell you, I was not disappointed. I will say, though, that this one’s a grower. The first time I heard it I was like yeah, it’s pretty good. Then by listen 4 or so I was all, this jam is my JAM.

Get Lucky – Daft Punk feat. Pharrell

First of all, who would have thought this would be the summer of Pharrell’s comeback as a featured artist? Second, I have plenty of fond memories of dancing to One More Time, and there’s always room for more Daft Punk. Third, it’s only the first day of summer, but I can already tell you that no Summer 2013 playlist would be complete without Get Lucky and Blurred Lines.

Gun – Chvrches

Once you get over the thing of like, “wait, I just pronounce it “churches, right?” this is pretty great.

Diane Young – Vampire Weekend

Ezra. EZRA. Nice work. Love the old-school rock vibe they have going on here. I feel like I’m going to get a malt and watch a drag race. My knowledge of the 50s is mostly based on Grease.

Cocoa Butter Kisses – Chance The Rapper

First time I heard Chance the Rapper, I was like what the hell is this Adam Sandler-impression-sounding guy even doing? But I’ve come around, and Acid Rap is def one of THE mixtapes of the summer.

If you want to add a chill jam to the list, I suggest Wakin On A Pretty Day by Kurt Vile. If your summer needs more Kanye, well, primarily I recommend listening to 2005-era Ye because that’s the BEST. But I’m seriously feeling Black Skinhead this summer too.

The NBA’s Fashion MVP

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We’re smack dab in the middle of the NBA Finals right now, and I usually don’t care unless the Boston Celtics are a part of it, and I especially don’t care this year because I hate the Miami Heat. But one person I do care about, and you should too if you don’t already, is Craig Sager.

This is Craig Sager. He is a sidelines correspondent for TNT. For the non-sports watchers, he also served as a correspondent during the London Summer Olympics.

You’re thinking to yourself, but Traci, ‘What’s wrong with this guy? He’s totally normal.’ And I say to you, reader, ‘Nay. This photo is actually a rare occurrence that actually blew a lot of people’s minds because this guy never wears normal clothes.

Craig is known for his outlandish suits when he’s on the court interviewing the world’s best basketball players. So much so that multiple people have written articles about him, started blogs dedicated to his outfits, and even my boy, Kevin Garnett has even called him out on it. But the thing is, is that he’s not even annoying about it. He’s like your dad or grandpa that wears the crazy suits for fun and doesn’t give a shit what anybody thinks. That’s why he’s the greatest, and probs the reason you should get into watching basketball.

Here are a few examples of the NBA’s most colorful character.

because, christmas

velour is always a nice option

his jacket is so bright it looks like someone adjusted the colors in photoshop

this was the boys’ option for the recital costume i had when i was 8 years old, dancing to a chubby checker song.

even craig is like, ‘why did i use my wife’s grandma’s tapestries from england for this coat?’

craig gettin’ a lil kinky with the ties…

i can’t even…

if you’re wondering why this looks familiar, it’s also the same color/pattern theme for the golden girls’ house in florida

craig goin for a three piece suit

going for an americana/barbershop quartet feel

And last, but certainly not least:

this is made out of turkey feathers. real turkey feathers. for a thanksgiving game.

90s Teen Starlets Before Going Down the Rabbit Hole

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A couple of weeks ago, Jessica Simpson posted this video of herself playing Cassie in her high school production of A Chorus Line. Much to a lot of people’s surprise – she was actually good.

But here’s the thing we forget about these child/teen stars – at some point they had talent. Long before Jessica Simpson was known for her reality TV show and “chicken of the sea,” and years before we found out the once pure virgin was labeled as “sexual napalm” by John Mayer, she could sing.


(RIP Nick & Jessica)

But what about our other favorite teen stars who went/are currently going insane? Here’s a reminder of some of the biggest Hollywood starlets and their humble, talented beginnings.

Britney

Brit is really the most tragic one out of all of them. We all remember where we were (ok, maybe not, but it was a big day) when she went insane and shaved her head then proceeded to attack a paparazzo with an umbrella. And it seems like although B has gotten better, she’s not the same as she used to be. Just watch this and listen to the Oops album on repeat and remember the good old days.

(Bonus: Full JT & Brit vid from Mickey Mouse Club)

Christina

Xtina didn’t go all the way down the rabbit hole, but she did have a few questionable years. Now she’s back on track with The Voice and her younger beau, and luckily, she still has the pipes to stay in the game.

Amanda

Who the hell knows what’s going on with Amanda Bynes? I don’t, per this previous post.

Lindsay

Lindsay is also still kind of scratching her way out of the rabbit hole… it seems like every time you think she’s out of trouble, she gets in deeper shit. Maybe she should do The Parent Trap 2?

10 Catchiest Wordless TV Theme Songs

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For years, instrumental TV theme songs were de rigour. Then, sometime in the mid-to-late 60s, somebody realized that you could sum up the entire premise of the show in a one-minute, three-verse song. Writers didn’t have to add in any exposition! Keep in mind, this was before the age of a two-minute “previously, on ____” preceding every 42-minute program. Viewers needed some way to know what they were getting into.

As time wore on, more generic theme songs took hold, usually about themes like friendship (Golden Girls) or family (Full House, Family Matters). By the mid-90s, tv themes had become chart toppers in their own right, and I still get a little giddy when the Friends theme pipes onto the radio.

Commercial breaks expanded, and run times contracted. Networks had to cut something from their shows, and theme songs were the first to go. By season 9, the Friends theme was about 12 words long. Other themes were reduced to a single line, followed by a nonsense word (Friendship is family forever…. toodles!). Don’t believe me? The Mike And Molly song is 17 seconds long. 10 words.

In tv theme songs – as in fashion and politics – the pendulum always swings back eventually. Instrumental theme songs are it again. I’ll be damned if they aren’t darn catchy, too.

Mad Men

A great title sequence calls for a great theme song. There’s a bit of a tense, Hitchcock-y buildup, so you know there’s going to be drama. But then the cymbals kick in, so you’re pretty sure there will be fun times and laughs, too. Who needs three verses explaining Don Draper’s back story when you have that? (I would actually benefit from three verses explaining Don Draper’s back story).

The Simpsons

I started watching The Simpsons almost as soon as it aired, even though I was barely a toddler. My mom didn’t approve of Bart’s attitude, but that didn’t mean we weren’t allowed to watch it. It just meant that my brothers and I had to go upstairs to do it. This really typifies my parents’ child-rearing philosophy. Like, my room could be messy for a while, but my door had to be closed. Hi, I’m half Irish Catholic, if you couldn’t tell.

Anyway, the most exciting part of the show when I was 4 or 5 was “the couch” – the sight gag at the end of the credits when the family piled onto the sofa. To get to it, you had to sit through a rollicking tour of Springfield. Danny Freakin’ Elfman, you guys. Genius.

30 Rock

Totally jazzy and New York-y. Oddly, more of an early-60s feel than the Mad Men theme. Jeff Richmond is without a doubt one of the great tv composers of our day. His wife’s pretty cool too I guess.

Parks and Recreation

Upbeat and spirited, this is like a theme song for optimism itself. Will Leslie Knope prevail? Of course she will. You don’t write a theme like this for someone who’s anything less than triumphant.

Boy Meets World

I have so much trouble finding people who remember the original Boy Meets World theme. We all remember the generic 90s tune of the later seasons (when this boy meets world — boy meets wor-or-orld – travelin down this road that we call ly-eeef –). But, do you remember the synth-y yet magestic tune of the first season? Extra bonus, the entire title sequence looks like it was created on Microsoft Paint, pre-Windows ‘95.

Because we all still  love the Boy Meets World cast, enjoy this behind-the-scenes info from the filming of the later title sequence:

Law And Order

I don’t know if it’s the solid bass backbeat, the twangy guitar, or the — is that a clarinet?? — but if you blindfolded a person who had never seen Law and Order, played this sequence, and asked them what this show was about, they’d be like “police procedural set in a big city? Early 90s?” I like the moment about 50 seconds in when you think that it’s over, then the music kicks back up, like “just kidding!” Am I overthinking it if I think that’s supposed to evoke the moment ⅘ of the way through the show when you think they got the bad guy but it was a different bad guy? Yeah, I thought so.

Batman

This doesn’t all-the-way qualify, because they say Batman a crazy number of times. By the end of it, it’s like when you repeat a word multiple times and it stops sounding like a word. I also notice that the way kids sing “na na na na na na na na na na BATMAN!” doesn’t sound much like this. See, I find that children are terrible at most things because they haven’t been alive very long.

What’s amazing is that even though this is a superhero cartoon, it kind of sounds like 1960s beach music, too. Except for the part where they won’t stop saying Batman.

Doug

I think in this context, “do” isn’t a word.

Babar

Oh, Babar. The show I always saw 20 minutes of because it was on HBO right before I had to leave for church in the morning. Babar was a gentle, sweet show (about colonialism), so this lovely little melody fits perfectly. Unless, that is, crazy, terrible shit always started to go down in the final 10 minutes.

Leave it To Beaver

    When you listen to this peppy, spirited little tune, you just know that for the next half-hour you are going to be in a world where the biggest problem is an 8-year-old with a slingshot. If only that darn announcer would just shut up.

Honorable mention: Clarissa Explains it all

Just a cheerful, energetic number featuring a 14-year-old girl dressed like Julia Roberts in Pretty Woman. I had to DQ it from the list proper because there were a few too many words in there.

Honorable mention: Andy Griffith Show

This theme song is iconic and completely evocative of the show. I’m not denying that. Here’s the thing, though. When I was in elementary school, our music director decided to debut a sung version of this song at the spring concert. It wasn’t even my grade doing it, but all I can think of when I hear this song is 40 eight-year-olds with recorders trying to squeak out the melody, then putting them down to sing about a fishin’ hole.  It was actually way more cute when Andy Griffith sang it than when two classes of third graders did it, who would have thought?

Also, I know this makes me sound like a dour and joyless person, but I can’t stand when people whistle, and this song just encourages it.

S#*t Justin Bieber Says

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Remember this kid?

You might know him better now as this dude:

Young JB has grown up before our very eyes, and as of late, it seems like his breakup with Selena may have done quite a number on him. From drugs on his tour bus to reckless driving and being chased down by a NFL player, the Biebs has been pushing his limits of stardom – and this was all in the past two months!

But hey, let’s keep in mind that the kid is only 19. If he was in college right now, he’d probably be doing the same exact thing, and probably even getting into more trouble. However, that doesn’t make up for some of the dumbass things he’s said in the past. Here are a few gems from the Bieber archives…

On Prince William’s thinning hair

“I mean, there are things to prevent that nowadays, like Propecia. I don’t know why he doesn’t just get those things, those products. You just take Propecia and your hair grows back. Have you not got it over here?” {x}

On offending Italians, Catholics, and people everywhere

“Do me a favor, don’t go nuts, because more and more you see the mural, and, like, the Sistine Chapel on a guy – it’s just too much.” David Letterman on Justin’s tattoos
“Don’t worry. I’m not going for the Sixteenth Chapel look.” Genius
“Canadian high schools.” Letterman

Speaking of education…
“It’s kind of hard to balance school and work sometimes. But sometimes, like, if I’m going to the White House and I’m in there doing a tour and stuff, that’s like school.”

On being a (semi) minority in Canada

“I’m actually part Indian. I think Inuit or something? I’m enough per cent that in Canada I can get free gas.” {x}

On inspiring young World War II teen heroes

“Truly inspiring to be able to come here. Anne was a great girl. Hopefully she would have been a belieber.” {x}

On his ever important stance on abortion
“I really don’t believe in abortion. It’s like killing a baby.”

On making it through a long press day (kid’s got jokes)
Interviewer: “What keeps you grounded?” Bieber: “Gravity.” Interviewer: “What’s up, Justin?” Bieber: “The sky, man.”

On religion
“When life knocks you down to your knees, you’re in the perfect position to pray.”

On something that still makes no sense
“I’m not sure about the parties. But whatever they have in Korea, that’s bad.”

On his idols
“The day I was born, March 1, 1994, Celine Dion was solid at #1 with ‘The Power of Love.’ Not a bad start to your life.”

“If I can do just one-tenth of the good that Michael Jackson did for others, I can really make a difference in this world.”

On getting that Justin Bieber swag
“I have a swagger coach that helps me and teaches me different swaggerific things to do… He has helped me with my style and just putting different pieces together and being able to layer and stuff like that.”

On Twitter, doling out words of wisdom to nearly 40 million Beliebers

“Live life full”

“Gonna take some time”

“I like to sleep. Alot”

“u gotta laugh in life”

“Sunday comes after Saturday? Weird.”

Finally…

“So remember, this is Bieber’s world. You’re just living in it. Bieber or die.”

Movies That Should Be Made Into Musicals

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Last weekend I saw Prisilla, Queen of the Desert at the Pantages here in LA. It’s part of the season subscription I have with my friend, so let’s just say I wouldn’t necessarily purchase these tix unless it came with our subscription. It was entertaining, had great costumes and was aesthetically pleasing, but that’s pretty much it. If you don’t know, it’s based on the 1994 movie of the same name, which gained a lot of popularity back then. The costume designers won an Academy Award, and it was even nominated for a Golden Globe for Best Picture, Comedy or Musical.

In full disclosure, I haven’t seen the movie, but I don’t think I really need to in order to get the idea. It got me thinking, since this musical based on a movie can run for 2 years on Broadway, and it isn’t even that good, what other movies could be good on stage? (For the record, I’m in full support of original shows first, before any producers take my ideas seriously) I recently found out that one of my favorite movies, Ever After, is back on track to hit Broadway, and a lab is currently underway starring Jeremy Jordan of Smash and Newsies. I have high hopes for Ever After, so maybe the following movies could be the next Billy Elliot or Matilda? What movies do you think would be great musicals?

Slumdog Millionaire

Slumdog Millionaire // Main on End Titles from mgfxstudio on Vimeo.

The end scene alone is why this she hit the stage. Just imagine all the Bollywood numbers!

Enchanted

I just think this movie is so great. If I was a kid I would watch this over and over again until the DVD broke. As an added bonus, Ever, Ever, After, a song by the great Carrie Underwood could be included in the show, not just the end credits. Plus, there’s even the chance that Idina Menzel could reprise her role as McDreamy’s girlfriend and sing a jealousy-belting song that steals the show.

Down With Love

This wasn’t a movie that garnered a lot of critical reception – or fans – but I loved it. Inspired by 1960s romantic sex comedies, Ewan McGregor plays a typical male lothario, while Renee Zellwegger plays a feminist who’s all about female independence. And guess what happens in the end… The music in the movie is done by Marc Shaiman, the genius behind Hairspray and Catch Me If You Can (another movie-turned-musical), so it’s perfect for Broadway. If only more people would be interested in it.

That Thing You Do

THE OH-NEED-ERS!!! This was one of those movies I had to watch anytime it was on TV when I was growing up. Just like the fictional Wonders were a pop sensation in the 60s, they were my fave fictional band in the 90s. How could you not love these guys? How could you not love this song? How could you not love Tom Hanks?!

Save the Last Dance

I basically just want to see this scene played out IRL.

Empire Records

Totally unintentional, but looks like I really enjoy movies with Renee Zellwegger, Liv Tyler, and Ethan Embry in them. This was another cult hit from the 90s that could have the potential to include some great 90s type rock songs. Or it could turn into High Fidelity.

Did I Do That?! Top TV Teen Nerds

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Believe it or not, I wasn’t a cool kid. Yes, I know this might be hard to get your head around, but despite my appealing attributes – short, freckled, bookish, brillo-textured red hair — I wasn’t exactly homecoming queen.

However, I wasn’t so uncool that I was a total pariah. I was just more of a non-entity. I was also not a social striver: I figured whoever liked me, liked me and I wasn’t about to try to act cool to get cooler friends. First of all, I didn’t care enough*, and second of all, I don’t know HOW to act cool. Did those girls just get a special book at the beginning of every school year telling them what to wear and how to behave? Because if there was a book, I’d have been golden. I’m good at books.

* If you think this means I was too cool to care, let me disabuse you of that idea. I am just astoundingly lazy.

All of my favorite TV nerds are the same way. These characters aren’t all so dorky that people point and laugh at them in the hall. They’re just too busy being themselves to care what anyone else thinks. However, if they did put out an annual annotated guide on how to be cool, that’s not to say these characters wouldn’t have read it:

Millie Kentner from Freaks And Geeks

Although the entire cast of Freaks and Geeks really deserves a place on this list, I’d like to take a moment and single out Millie. Millie was that girl in high school who was a total goody-goody, but only because she actually liked wholesome activities and behaving. I can relate, as my main interests in high school were being obedient and exceeding expectations. Something about Millie is so earnest, it just tugs at my heartstrings. She isn’t so nerdy and well-behaved because she’s sucking up, it’s because that’s what comes honestly to her. Again, I can relate. I can remember one girl on my tennis team  who was acted like I was judging her because she was a “bad kid” and I was, well, hyper-compliant. I wasn’t — I just wasn’t interested in anything too badass myself.

Since I brought it up, tennis is the dorkiest physical activity you can join that still counts as a sport. Seriously. Even bowling might be cooler, in an ironic, blue collar, old-man way. Tennis: The Reading Of Sports.

Also this:

Seth Cohen from The O.C.

Seth Cohen made teen nerdiness hot. And God, do I still love him for it. It’s hard to believe it’s been a decade since we first met young Seth, who is the first and only person I would ever describe as being “adorkable.” From his snarky message t shirts to his enthusiasm for comic books to his dorky joy about introducing people to Chrismukkah, Seth was everything good about uncool adolescents. I also appreciated how Seth was into indie/alternative music, just like most of my unpopular friends. This just goes to show that most nerdy teens aren’t lame and boring, they’re just not into whatever is in the teen mainstream. Cohen reminds us that dorky teenagers are just one semester of liberal arts college away from being hipsters. Also, just look at him.

Sue Heck from The Middle

The Middle really does not get enough play. I think it’s funny (usually) and hilarious (sometimes). Like all teen nerds, Sue is supremely enthusiastic. Rather than understanding and accepting that she’s a geek, Sue has total faith that someday, she will be one of the cool kids. Because of this, she flies whole-heartedly into the nerdiest activities (see: specialized cheerleading squad for the wrestling team). I especially love her supporting cast of dorky Wrestlerette friends:

Lisa Loopner from Saturday Night Live

By far the most hilarious teen nerd on the list, Lisa Loopner had a chronic stuffy nose, frizzy hair, and a boyfriend named Todd. She may sound like a typical dork, but this character is played with classic Gilda Radner joie de vivre, and that makes all the difference. I… listen. Just watch this.

Lisa Simpson from The Simpsons

Lisa may be too smart to fit in at Springfield Elementary, but she’s also too smart to care… usually. While she does try to fit in with the mega-90s kids on her beach vacation and the occasional third-grade mean girl, she is usually pretty content filling her time with her music, inventions, and Thanksgiving diorama of influential women in U.S. history. However, she is still just a kid, and can be seen playing hopscotch with Sherri and Terri or pining over Malibu Stacy. Lisa isn’t technically a teen nerd, but she has the reading comprehension and math skills of a girl twice her age, which has to count for something.

Landry Clarke from Friday Night Lights

On paper, Landry (or Lance, whatever) doesn’t really sound like a nerd. He’s a high school football player in a land where high school football is king. He’s the lead singer and bassist in a garage band. He loves the lovely and sometimes-badass Tyra. He even may have committed a pretty big felony (seriously, what WAS that plotline?). However, life isn’t lived on paper. Somehow, despite all of these cool factors, Landry is kind of a dork. He’s also proof that sometimes dorks can emerge victorious. Or crucifictorious, I guess.

Fun fact: As far as I know, Jesse Plemons is the only actor who appeared in both Varsity Blues and FNL. Those, along with the times my high school won states, mark the trifecta of Things That Have Made Me Actually Care About High School Football.

Kimmy Gibbler from Full House

Kimmy Gibbler sucked. I’m not denying that. The thing is, I feel so sorry for her! It didn’t occur to me as a child, but she had three grown men living next door to her who mocked her mercilessly. Danny? Joey? Jesse? You’re bullies. Also, her BFF was kind of a dud. Remember when DJ forgot Kimmy’s birthday cake and made her a dish of hashbrowns with Happy Birthday written on it in ketchup? I sometimes use that as a metaphor when I’ve made really weak gestures of friendship. Try it for yourself sometimes. Kimmy did have some positive attributes, like being a pretty decent keyboardist when Girl Talk butchered The Sign (no, not that Girl Talk).

Steve Urkel from Family Matters

I wasn’t even going to put Urkel on the list. I think he forfeited his Teen Nerd title during the later seasons, when suddenly it was All Steffon, All The Time. I’m also still a little bitter that his affinity for cheese made cheese seem nerdy. I freaking love cheese. Come at me, nerd haters and vegans!

You gotta hand it to Urkel, though. He really knew how to deliver a nerd catch phrase.

Carlton from Fresh Prince of Bel Air

He invented “The Carlton,” and that alone earns him a spot on the list. It’s got to be hard being a nerd when you live with super-cool Hillary and Ashley and your badass cousin from West Philly. Having so much money that you live in a full-size replica of the White House probably softens the blow a little. While mostly a classic uptight nerd, Carlton also knew how to let loose and dance.

WHATAREYOUDOINGHERE: Unexpected Guest Stars of Arrested Development

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If you’re an Arrested Development fan, chances are you’ve already seen the new season in its entirety. And although creator Mitch Hurwitz warned AD fans to try to calm their excitement and spread out the viewings, it’ll be difficult to not watch all 15 episodes after waiting for seven years. Not to mention, this reincarnation of the series will bring the likes of Kristen Wiig, Seth Rogen, John Krasinski, Conan O’Brien, Ben Schwartz, John Slattery, and more to the Bluth family. So to help you heed Mitch Hurwitz’s request, take a break from your binge watching and get a refresher on some of the stars who you may have forgotten (or never even knew) appeared on this iconic show.

Amy Poehler

Well, this is kind of a no-brainer, since Queen Amy appeared in 5 eps as Gob’s wife (ugh, RIP Will/Amy), who Gob kept forgetting he was even married to. So much so she didn’t even have a name.

Julia Louis-Dreyfus

Playing one of my personal favorite AD characters, Julia played Maggie Lizer, a ‘blind’ attorney who was also Michael’s on and off girlfriend. This scene where Tobias sneaks into her house trying to be stealth but the fact she is fully aware he is there is one of the greatest things I’ve ever seen.

Zach Braff

The Scrubs/Kickstarter star played Phillip Litt, a man who showed that Tobias was not alone in his Never Nude world.

Charlize Theron

The Oscar winner played Rita Leeds who was briefly engaged to Michael, and although she may not have been the sharpest tool in the shed, she was wealthy – as the heiress to Wee Britain.

Jane Lynch

Long before she terrorized kids at McKinley High School, Jane played Cyndi Lightballoon who was an undercover agent investigating Pop Pop. Except she eventually falls in love with him. It happens to the best of us.

Armie Hammer

In a career-defining role, the Winklevoss twin(s) played ‘student number 2’ in one episode – he calls George Michael ‘star dork’.

Jack McBrayer

Kenneth the Page was still tending to people’s needs (and encountering Devon Banks) before helping Tracy at TGS – he played a waiter at the local country club in two episodes.

Ed Begley Jr.

Ok, but Ed Begley Jr. LITERALLY is in everything. He shows up in almsot every movie or TV show I watch (Office finale, much?), and it’s even a running joke with my friend Suzanne because she sees him everywhere in LA. So naturally, his off Stan Sitwell character has to be on this list.

Ed Helms

Speaking of The Office, rit-it-it-itdoo, the Nard Dog played realtor James in “The One Where Michael Leaves” episode, whom Lindsay thought was hitting on her. And maybe a minor spoiler alert? He’ll be back in the new season too.

Phyllis Smith

Before Phyllis was a saleswoman at Dunder-Mifflin, she was a board member at the Bluth Company. Incidentally, just weeks after this episode (The Immaculate Election) aired, she made her debut on The Office.

Craig Robinson

Dink and flicka. Tobias has an audition at Tantamount Studios, and Craig Robinson is there to guard the gate. Except he probs should’ve been keeping an eye on Maeby instead.