Tag Archives: netflix

Show You Should Be Watching If You Aren’t Already: Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt

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Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt is one of those shows that you put on a pedestal and expect great things from because it has all the ingredients for your next new TV obsession. Interesting/unique plot? Check. Likable actress as the lead? Check. Tina Fey and 30 Rock crew on board? Check. But it’s very rare that shows like this not only meet your expectations but exceed them. Luckily, Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt does just that.

When UKS came on Netflix at midnight Friday, I watched the first episode at 1am and had to physically stop myself from staying up all night to watch the rest of the short 13-episode season. It’s like sunshine crack and you can’t get enough of it. UKS soon was watched by thousands of other Netflix subscribers over the weekend and has gotten a lot of positive reviews from both critics and fans alike. If you’re not one of them, get on board, because this show certainly won’t let you down.

Basic Plot

http://youtu.be/mNKEKlXY3Z4

Kimmy Schmidt (Ellie Kemper) was kidnapped when she was in 8th grade and taken by a doomsday cult leader, who had kept her and three other women in an underground bunker. The pilot takes place years later when Kimmy is 29, and she and the other “Indiana Mole Women” are rescued from the bunker. The show centers on Kimmy adjusting to life again as an adult in New York City.

Filling The Void

30 Rock ended a little over two years ago and we lost Parks and Recreation less than a month ago. While some of us are still in mourning for both of those shows, I’m happy to report that while Kimmy Schmidt will not be able to bring back Liz Lemon and Leslie Knope for good, it will help cure the pain. Kimmy is surprisingly positive and optimistic for having spend most of her formative years underground and secluded from the world, and she has the similar ‘Knope We Can’ attitude in life as Pawenee’s favorite political figure. She’s also like Kenneth the Page – actually she and Kenneth would probably get along rull well. Meanwhile, UKS itself has the same unique, “bizarre” tone as 30 Rock had, the same pacing the same joke after joke after joke storytelling style that is so clearly Tina Fey and nowhere else on television. Put those two together and you have a force to be reckoned with in Kimmy Schmidt.

Unbreakable Ellie Kemper

Like Friends and “The One…”, every episode title of UKS ends in an exclamation point. Kimmy Goes Outside! Kimmy Gets a Job! Kimmy Gets Venereal Disease! (JK about that last one) But the exclamation is totally and completely necessary because Kimmy lives life in an exclamation point. When one is rescued from a crazy cult (as one does), you can go in two directions. As Kimmy says, “You can either curl up in a ball or die” or “you can stand up and say, ‘We’re different! And you can’t break us!’ And Ellie Kemper is the perfect person to carry out the latter. Like Erin in The Office and Becca in Bridesmaids, Ellie in real life is just as lovable and quirky and has the ability to make you smile without even realizing it. Her natural excitement for life is shown through Kimmy’s own positive outlook on the new life she has. I don’t think Ellie is as naive as Kimmy, but she has a similar pureness to her. Kimmy is a girl who exclaims “What in the ham sandwich – I just got a job!” Ellie can pull that sort of ridiculous and childlike curse replacement without making it seem obnoxious, and it’s why she’s perfect as Kimmy.

Jane Krakowski Fabulousness

Jane of course has history with Tina, having played the egotistical yet affable Jenna Maroney on 30 Rock, a role that has earned her 4 Emmy nominations. As Jacqueline Voorhees in UKS, there might be more nominations in her future. While not quite as insane as Jenna, Jacqueline is a rich housewife with a son whom Kimmy is the nanny to. Despite the fact that Jenna and Jacqueline have a lot of similarities, Jane (a lot of Js going on) is proving she’s not just one dimensional as an actor. Although Kimmy is the main character, expect a great B story with Jacqueline, especially when it comes to her background.

30 Rock Realness

Speaking of which, UKS is just as offbeat as 30 Rock was. I mean it’s a show based on a girl who escaped a doomsday cult in a bunker. Not the type of show you will see on CBS’ Monday night lineup. And since Tina is still the brains behind the who shebang, it’s littered with her ‘odd’ sense of humor. There’s a new Sabor De Soledad in the Febreeze-like product Buh Breeze, and like Jenna Maroney’s impersonator-turned-husband Paul L’Astname, there are larger than life characters like Kimmy’s roommate Titus Andromedon and Tristafé the spiritcycle instructor. There’s a whole storyline where Titus and his other furry friends band together to go against a swindling costume shop owner. It looks ridiculous on screen, and only this type of show can make it as funny as it is. Speaking of Tituss, he played Da’Fwan, one of Angie Jordan’s crew on 30 Rock, and now he’s getting the role he deserves as Kimmy’s roommate/best friend. As an aspiring Broadway star (IRL, Tituss is actually a Broadway star), Tituss helps Kimmy back into the real world but also provides for some wacky stories.

90s/00s Refs Up The Whazoo

Because Kimmy has been literally living under a rock (of the earth) for 15 years, her brain is still stuck as a middle schooler, so all her pop culture and life references are from the 00s and before, that don’t make as much sense or are as relevant in 2015. And it’s amazing. Some things mentioned throughout the series include, but are not limited to:

  • American Girl
  • Light up sneakers
  • Moesha
  • “As If”
  • Tamagotchi
  • “Opposite Day”
  • Mavis Beacon
  • Frasier
  • The Breakfast Club

Cults

If you’re into like, learning about Scientology or the Illuminati or true crime or the Duggars, just watch this knowing it could be real and you’ll love it. The leader of the Mole Women cult is a guy named Richard Wayne Gary Wayne (classic Fey), and they’re actually dressed like they could be a Duggar. Naturally, they’re odd and have been taught weird things but also do normal activities like have secret santa, because, priorities.

Netflix to the Rescue

uks

Tina and her 30 Rock partner Robert Carlock originally had a deal with NBC, but the UKS pilot wasn’t picked up to series. Luckily, not only did the fine folks at Netflix pick it up, they picked it up for a second season. As you can imagine, this is good in a number of ways for UKS – not only have they already known their fate, they can undoubtedly be a little more risque on Netflix as opposed to network television, which is saying something, because Tina’s crew is the one that brought you hard-hitting comments on sexism and race couched in comedy, James Franco’s infatuation with his Japanese body pillow, Margaret Cho as Kim Jong-il who kidnaps a popular U.S. newsanchor, and a pornographic video game, among others. Netflix will be different. Better different.

 Theme Song

I’m not even going to link to it because when it first appears in the pilot it happens so naturally and it was one of those moments when a light bulb with heart eye emojis appeared over my head and I knew I was going to love the show. Plus when you binge watch, it gets stuck in your head.

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When Binge-Watching Isn’t a Choice

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The third season of House of Cards was plopped into millions of Netflix accounts on Friday, and many people began a weekend of binge-watching the Underwoods as they

*SPOILER ALERT FOR SEASON 2 FINALE*

…prepared to become the President and First Lady of the United States.

As I begun my travels to this messed up version of DC, I could only remember two things about what happened last season – that Frank became President, and Stamper got beat up. You can attribute this lack of memory to the fact that I can barely remember what I did yesterday or that sometimes I tend to not pay attention to what’s happening, but mostly, I think you can blame it on the fact that I wanted to watch the second season as fast as possible as to not get any spoilers.

I hate spoilers. Spoilers are the worst. I’ve had arguments IRL about this, and while I understand why people who like to get spoiled (e.g. will this person get killed? I need to mentally prepare), I am 100 percent on the side of not getting spoiled at all. For me, television is an escape. Escape from my daily, boring life, into places like corrupt D.C., or Pawnee or Scranton or 1960s New York City, or Stars Hollow. I treat the characters in the shows as if they’re real, and like real life, I don’t want to know what’s going to happen next. That’s the half the excitement. If I know I’m going to get fired on Friday, I will be worried every single second waiting for that moment where my boss takes me into his office and gives me the bad news. If someone is going to be unexpectedly proposed to at the end of a Halloween episode, I would much rather be surprised than anticipate the moment where he gets down on one knee, because, romance.

I watched Guardians of the Galaxy for the first time on Saturday (I know), and I had seen the GIFs of dancing baby Groot on Tumblr, and was expecting him to show up at any minute. So when the thing happens towards the end and then later dancing Groot appears, it didn’t have the same impact on me as I imagine it did for a lot of people. This is why I hate spoilers.

But with a Netflix show like House of Cards, everyone is watching it at a different pace. There’s no one episode a week, like traditional television. It’s 13 episodes put at your fingertips and watch at your own will.

Last year, I went to the ATX Festival in Austin, which is a weekend-long event for TV fans (we’re going together this June, so look out for that!). I went to a panel called #SpoilerAlert, and among the panelists were executive producer Beau Willimon from House of Cards and Netflix social media rep Eric Pallotta.

*ANOTHER SPOILER ALERT FOR EPISODE 1 OF SEASON 2 OF HOC**

Eric talked about how when season 2 dropped at 12am, they were tracking what was happening on social media in regards to the show – what topics fans were talking about, and what they were responding to. He said that around the 12:10am/10 minute mark (or whatever time The Train Incident happened), they noticed a huge spike in viewers’ tweets, reacting to Zoe’s sudden demise. However, most of the tweets didn’t read, “Z0MG FRANK JUST PUSHED ZOE IN FRONT OF A MOVING TRAIN AND THEN WALK AWAY RULLL CASUAL”, it was more like, “OMG” or “DID THAT JUST HAPPEN” or “emoji of a train #HouseOfCards”. There’s an unspoken language amongst binge-watchers, especially among the Netflix community, that lets other people know something big just happened, but also to show you’re in the know and hip because you’re watching HOC.

So, here we are. It’s been a few days since season three was available to view, and there are some who finished on Saturday, some who are close to finishing, and some who probably won’t get to it until the next free weekend they’re not doing brunch. According to Variety, two percent of all Netflix subscribers binge-watched House of Cards in the first weekend season two was released. That doesn’t seem like a big number, but that’s still a lot of folks who did nothing but watch HoC all weekend.

At what point is it socially acceptable to start talking about the monsters and aliens that take over Frank’s body and the White House (JK that doesn’t happen. OR DOES IT). Is two weeks enough time to even start talking about the first half? I’m always in awe of the folks who manage to avoid spoilers. I mean, it’s nearly impossible to not get spoiled these days. Merely watching other programs leads to getting spoiled on other shows (see: SNL sketch from Saturday about being Brave and the Breaking Bad finale). For me, with the nature of my job, I have to be on top of everything that happens in entertainment the minute it occurs, so usually, waiting to see a movie or watch a series finale months later is not an option. Bless the people who can live their lives without even the threat of being spoiled. But also, I am torn with the option of making season three last as long as possible. If I timed it as if I was watching a regular TV show, this experience could last me the next four-ish months! Maybe I’ll actually remember more details of what happens come season four when I can’t decide to binge or not to binge.

But right now, I am already more than halfway through this season of HOC, so I’m clearly opting to go the binge route and not be spoiled. I’ve backed myself into a corner of fitting as many HOC episodes I can in a day in order to beat the clock of spoils. Mr. Underwood has given me no choice BUT to binge – I guess television is like real life, isn’t it Frank?

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Documentaries That Consumed My Life on Netflix Instant

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Over the past few years, I spend the time off during the holidays catching up on TV series I have been meaning to watch, but hadn’t had time to before. For instance, I watched Call the Midwife one time, because it was only one season, or my greatest accomplishment in binge-watching: all seven seasons of The West Wing in one month. That’s an hour-long (42ish minute) program, y’all. This year, I decided to watch Anthony Bourdain’s Parts Unknown and couldn’t stop watching. To preface, I usually reserve my documentary watching for when I’m sick (idk why, tbh), but I was on this kick of following Tony to places I probably will never be able to go to otherwise, and are usually off the beaten path.

My addiction to Parts Unknown led to a spiral of watching the documentaries on my Instant list that had been waiting for me to press play for months or even years, and I finally got around to it. So, I’m here to share them with you. Whether you’re sick or need to pause from your Friends binge-ing, here are a few of my favorite documentaries I’ve watched over the past few years that you can watch on Netflix Instant right now.

Undefeated

Watch if you like: Friday Night Lights, football, underdog stories, Oscar-winning movies, crying

Elevator Pitch: A small, predominantly black, high school on the outskirts of Memphis has a football team with the worst record. A white coach who volunteers his time helps them to possible victory. But like FNL, it’s not really about football at all.

First Position

Watch if you like: Dance, ballet, seeing kids do things better than you

Elevator Pitch: The journey of six kids on their way to one of the biggest most important ballet competitions in the world. You’ll leave impressed with their dedication and inspired to do something with your life.

Ballerina

Watch if you like: Dance, ballet, First Position

Elevator Pitch: As opposed to aspiring young dancers, this one features four professional Russian dancers – and you’ll be glad you didn’t grow up in Russia.

Jiro Dreams of Sushi

Watch if you like: Sushi, Japan, food, elderly people

Elevator Pitch: If you love sushi, you’ll love this 85-year-old sushi master in Tokyo, who owns a world-renowned restaurant and the interesting relationship he has with his son and eventual heir.

Kings of Pastry

Watch if you like: France, Top Chef, pastries, cooking, stressful situations

Elevator Pitch: The French take the art of cooking seriously, and even hand out special medals/collars to distinguish the elite chefs from others – and the competition to win said prize involves years of dedication and endless amounts of patience.

Craigslist Joe

Watch if you like: Humanity

Elevator Pitch: A guy gives up pretty much all he has and travels around the country making money and sleeping in homes all found off Craigslist. The result is a surprisingly moving story proving that despite the fact we live in a diverse country with people who have vastly different views on life, it’s not hard to find the good in people.

Marina Abramovic: The Artist Is Present

Watch if you like: Art, performance art, any modern museum

Elevator Pitch: Marina Abamovic has been a top performance artist for decades, and this movie follows her acclaimed The Artist Is Present exhibit at New York’s MoMa, which is a retrospective on her career. It shows how she connects with new people through her piece in which she sits and stares at visitors, and also reconnects her with one of the biggest loves of her life.

Mitt

Watch if you like: Politics, Mormons

Elevator Pitch: It doesn’t matter that you know how it ends. It also doesn’t matter if you voted for Mitt Romney or not. What matters is that this movie gives you an inside look of the day to day life of a Presidential campaign over the course of six years – and how it can all come crumbling down in one night.

Anything North Korea

http://youtu.be/AlJUGZPanB8

Watch if you like: Asia, secret societies, investigative reporting, hidden cameras

Elevator Pitch: From Lisa Ling’s faux eye surgery documentary to Frontline‘s secret hidden cameras, these specials give you an inside look to one of the world’s most secretive and oppressive countries. Forget The Interview, these are the only North Korea movies you need to see.

Jesus Camp

Watch if you like: Fascination with Scientology, The Duggars

Elevator Pitch: These kids aren’t just regular kids – they’re kids who think they have prophetic powers and attend a Christian summer camp to learn how to become the next “Billy Graham” and “take back America for Christ”. Go into it knowing because of this movie – the camp closed.

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What Can I Do For Fun When I’ve Been Exposed To Ebola?

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Boy, it’s been a long time since we’ve done one of these. Last year, we examined what you could do during the government shutdown (can not: go to space, enjoy national zoos; can: sneak into the Liberty Bell). But that’s long over, and a new threat’s a-looming: Ebola. So if you find yourself having been on the same airplane, hospital wing, or just to be safe, let’s just say continent or Earth as a person with Ebola, you may have some questions. That’s where we come in.

Last time, we talked about space. Can I go to space if I’ve been exposed to Ebola?

YES. Please, please go to space. Enjoy the earth from afar for … however long your incubation period is, then come back. When reentering the atmosphere, exit through some kind of a small pod. Allow your space craft to disintegrate as it re-enters the atmosphere. We can buy others. Then go to a large volcano, and throw your space suit in there. We will leave some disinfectant wash and a fresh change of clothes for you. Then roll your space pod into the volcano and come back and join us, buddy! Welcome home.

Okay, but during the government shutdown, when space was closed, you suggested maybe a really high airplane as an alternative. How about it: can I go up in a really high airplane?

Oh, no. No, no, no. No airplanes. Please. Speaking as a human, the concept of flying is terrifying enough. You are not supposed to sit in rows next to strangers, making small talk, watching 30 Rock episodes (still, somehow), and drinking plastic tumblers of booze as you soar above the clouds. The gods have struck humans down for less. But throw an infectious disease into the mix and it’s almost too much to bear. Nobody wants to breathe your Ebola air.

So, no. No airplanes if you’ve been hanging around Ebola and feel a bit feverish. No coughing your Ebola spittle into those scratchy airplane horse blankets. No pooping your Ebola poop in those miniature airplane toilets. And for goodness sake, do not take an airplane to go out of state to try on wedding dresses. Your state has wedding dresses. I guarantee it.

Awesome, so I can try on wedding dresses with my Ebola, as long as I stay in my own state?

Good Christ. NO. Trying on clothes is gross already, all that fabric that’s been on someone’s possibly dirty, possibly sweaty skin; not to mention deciding whether you look good enough in whatever you’re wearing to pay money to continue looking that way – the real reason I rarely try on clothes. But when your sweat, saliva, and latent self-esteem issues get on a dress that you don’t even buy, all you’re doing is leaving it in the dress shop to ruin someone else’s special day. And I will not have it.

Well, the thing is, my wedding is really soon…

You have to cancel that shit. Postpone it, whatever. I don’t watch Game Of Thrones, but I was on the internet after the Red Wedding episode happened. You don’t want that sort of scenario marring your big event. Do you want all your guests to get killed? Or, if not killed, get really bad diarrhea? Put off those nuptials until you can guarantee that they won’t be referred to for time and all eternity as The Brown Wedding.

So I should just keep to myself, lay low, follow CDC recommendations….

Basically, yeah. But whatever CDC says to do, go one step beyond it. Pretend you’re a nerdy kid gunning for extra credit. CDC says you can fly? Maybe don’t, for a while. CDC says you can hang around regular people (no offense, you know what I mean Ebola People)? How about you text them for a while instead? Take up a craft. Now’s a good time to get into knitting! But please don’t donate your handcrafted woolens to cold children or lonely soldiers or basically any charity. Use them as kindling, or something. That’s some smallpox blanket business there.

I’m trying to stay home and watch TV but TV has me really worried about Ebola!

Yes. 24-hour news stations are exploiting disease paranoia for ratings. However, you’re a lot more likely to die in a car accident (buckle up!), or even regular ol’ pneumonia and flu (get those flu shots!), but those don’t have a cool name or a Patient Zero.

You may want to lay off of the scare-mongering news magazines until you’re over your Ebola.

But how can I avoid it?

It’s fall premiere season! The BEST time of the year to be quarantined with an infectious disease. You aren’t missing any outdoor summer fun, and you haven’t run into mid-season reruns. Lucky you! Except for the Ebola part.

Or how about this. Get Netflix. I’m serious about this. Gilmore Girls is on it. You can watch Abandoned, which is this National Geographic show about cities and buildings that are neglected and falling into decay, like all of our cities will be if you get out there and spread your Ebola. It’s pretty cool. Cosmos is up now. There are lots of romcoms, like Sleepless in Seattle and Annie Hall.

So here’s my deal. I really mean it. If you have documentation that you have Ebola, and can prove that you have a flight scheduled in the next 20 days, I will personally mail you the seven dollars – eight, maybe – so you can get Netflix for a month. Stay home, avoid the news, and keep your Ebola to yourself.

That’s perfect, because I already have streaming Netflix but I’ve been meaning to upgrade to disks!

Easy, killer. You are NOT going to send your Ebola disks flinging around from sea to shining sea. This offer is only for people who have Ebola, have a flight planned, and do not have Netflix already. In fact, if you DO have disk delivery, and you have Ebola, and you have a flight planned, I will pay you a dollar to cancel your disk service for a month.

If you have a disk at home already, just tell Netflix you never got it. For real. It works every time.

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You’ve Been Gilmored: Tips for Binge-Watching Gilmore Girls on Netflix

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It’s happening you guys. IT’S ALL HAPPENING. Sorry I yelled at you. Let’s make up. I’m just super excited for the recent news coming out of Netflix HQ: All seven seasons of Gilmore Girls are coming to Netflix Instant. That’s right – 153 episodes, about 6,732 minutes, and an unlimited number of pop culture references that will be available at your beck and call any time of day!

For Gilmore Girls fanatics like me, this doesn’t *seem* like it should be as important as it is. Like, I have all seven seasons on DVD and watch repeats of them on ABC Family everyday before I go to work, but still, Netflix Instant is next level. This means it’s possible to watch Dean build a car for Rory, watch Luke and Lorelai’s first kiss, and skip all the April episodes all in one fell swoop!

If you didn’t get any of those references, then you probably need to binge watch GG the moment it becomes available on October 1st. Why? Well let me tell you the brief history I have with this show. I was a late bloomer to GG, catching the repeats the first year they went on syndication right after season 5 aired in the summer of 2005. I remember becoming obsessed and even taped (yes, with VHS tapes) every single episode from TV. I eventually bought the DVDs and watched every episode multiple times, memorized lines, daydreamed about being BFF with Lorelai, or just daydreamed about being Lorelai. It was a show I watched with my group of friends that I studied abroad with, illegally streaming eps that aired in the U.S. so we could be caught up with the current season. It’s a show that I related to, where I could see myself in Lorelai, in Rory, in Lane, where sarcasm and witty quips were a fluent language and coffee is the drink of choice. It’s a show that romanticizes small town America, but still deals with realistic problems (for the most part). It’s a show that’s not just for teen girls like most assume, but for both adult women AND men. It’s a show, that at its heart, is about family, friendship and community. Most importantly, it’s a show you should be watching in its entirety come October 1st.

For the new citizens of Stars Hollow, or those who haven’t seen the show in a while and are in the mood for a good ol’ binge watch, here are some helpful tips (in no particular order) to get you through seven full seasons of one of the greatest TV shows of all time*.

*Number 43, according to Entertainment Weekly

Tip #1: Have snacks

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UHo0Nf27P4I?start=0&end=19

The gals’ relationship to food is probably the longest relationship both Lorelai and Rory have ever had. They take it seriously. During Rory’s first night at college, Lorelai even organized a taste test for all the fast food places in the area so they could rate them. Also, one of the cardinal rules of the Gilmore girls is that if they’re sitting down to watch a movie or TV show, they have to have snacks. And not just one kind of snack. Like you can’t just have popcorn. You also have to have candy and pizza and Chinese take out from Al’s Pancake World. Make sure you have all your bases covered when binge watching.

Tip #2: Don’t eat all the snacks

lorelaiparadox

Don’t let these adorable Gilmore Girls fool you, they’ve trained years to eat as much as they do and still wear a size 2. That and the fact that they’re actors and probably have spit buckets at the ready. There have actually been in-depth studies on how Lor and Rory manage to eat all the crap they eat and still look thin. One person at The Huffington Post even calculated how many calories they intake in a day. It’s not pretty. So as much as you want to eat like a champion, leave it to the professionals actors.

Tip #3 Brew up some coffee coffee coffee

In addition to all the food consumption, these gals drink coffee like they breathe in air. It’s their oxygen. It’s lit’rally one of the first things Lorelai says/begs for in the pilot. Points if you get Luke’s coffee with a touch of nutmeg.

Tip #4: Be ready to pick a favorite boyfriend of Rory’s

For those who have never seen GG: yes, that’s the brother from Supernatural. Yes, that’s the dude from Heroes. Yes, that’s the lawyer from The Good Wife. Now that that’s over, Rory’s love life goes through three main boyfriends from her time in high school to the end of college. Dean (Jared Padalecki) was the first love, Jess (Milo Ventimiglia) was the bad boy boyfriend, and Logan (Matt Czuchry) was the one she didn’t see coming. All three have their own pros and cons, but for me, the one who always wins out in the end is Jess. Not just because he and Alexis Bledel dated IRL, either. Because they were *meant 2 be*. And once you’re done with the series, read this super hilarious – and accurate – roundtable discussion of Rory’s BFs.

Tip #5: Same goes for Lorelai

Listen, you’ll see throughout the course of the show that Lor has more boyfriends than local diner owner Luke and baby daddy Christopher. If you’ve watched it and for some reason pick neither (or even worse pick Jason) as your fave, your points are invalid. For Lorelai, she was always torn between who she should be with and who she wanted to be with, and really, there’s no wrong answer here. Except there is a wrong answer. Read on…

Tip #6: Pick a ship and sail with it

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dYZYu8Or5FA?start=95&end=170

Sam and Diane. Rachel and Ross. Jim and Pam. Luke and Lorelai. As far as TV couples go, Luke and Lorelai are probably my favorite of all time. They’re one of the most epic ‘will they or won’t they’ couples in TV history and *spoiler alert* waiting nearly five seasons for them to get together is totally worth it. From the beginning, you could tell the man who provided the crazed woman with a constant coffee IV drip had been pining for her, and she loved him without even knowing it. Their subtle glances to each other, their inability to admit jealousy of significant others, the way they cared for each other as if they had been in a relationship all along – is what makes them the ultimate ship of all ships on this show.

Tip #7: Keep an eye out for guest stars

If you can believe it, Gilmore Girls started in the year 2000. That’s 14 years ago. Approximately the age of a current high school freshman. That means that during the show’s seven season run, a lot of actors who had cameo roles have since become much bigger stars. Take for example, the man above. You may recognize his mustache as seen on Ron Swanson on Parks and Recreation, but on GG, he plays Beau Belville, a creepy relative of Jackson. Everyone from Jon Hamm to Seth MacFarlane to the guy who played Duncan Kane on Veronica Mars all show up to Stars Hollow at some point.

Tip #8: Paris Geller takes some getting used to

In the beginning, Rory’s classmate is a snobby, malicious, Heather-type bitch. It’s easy to hate on her. But trust, she will become one of your favorite characters on the show as the series goes on.

Tip #9: Soak in the magic that is Melissa McCarthy

Long before Melissa McCarthy was “Oscar nominee/Emmy winner Melissa McCarthy”, she was the lovable, bumbling Sookie St. James, BFOTB (Best Friend of the Bride). Any GG fan can tell you that Melissa was a standout on the show. Her comedic skills were beyond and I’m so happy that she finally gets to showcase it in all its glory.

Tip #10: You can visit Stars Hollow

wbtour

Yes, that’s right folks. You can actually visit the fictional town that is Stars Hollow, Connecticut. Well, okay, kind of. Two options: 1 go on a Warner Brothers tour in sunny Burbank, California, just minutes from my humble abode (Come over after, I’ll provide coffee). It depends on whether the area is being used for filming or not, but you’ll get to see the town square on said tour! Since it’s been seven years since the show ended, WB has gotten rid of the Luke’s and Doose’s signs, but the facades still stand (and are used for shows like Pretty Little Liars and Hart of Dixie). You’ll be able to see Miss Patty’s, Stars Hollow High, the church with the bells, and maybe even the gazebo! I will say that I’ve been on the WB tour THRICE and it wasn’t until the final time that I got to see the town square. Probs because I begged our tour guide and we were essentially the only Americans people paying attention.

If you want a tour of the real Stars Hollow, the closest you can get is Washington Depot, Connecticut, where GG creator Amy Sherman-Palladino stayed and was inspired to write the show. A complete guide can be find here, and also gives details on surrounding towns that have that SH feel.

Tip #11: Question Michel’s sexuality

He’s the unfriendly concierge for the Independence Inn/Dragonfly and he never uses pronouns when it comes to significant others. He is always dressed impeccably, watches his weight to a fault, and loves Destiny’s Child and Celine Dion. You decide.

Tip #12: The fast-talking doesn’t slow down

There’s nothing wrong with your TV, those girls talk fast. Most hour-long ‘dramas’ have scripts that, on average, are 40 to 50 pages long, but the fast-paced dialogue that GG is known for would spawn across 75 to 80 pages!

Tip #13: Celebrate June 3rd

**If you haven’t seen the show and don’t want to be spoiled, don’t watch that video! But I’m about to talk about some stuff that happens, so skip ahead if you don’t want to know!

June 3rd was supposed to be the date of Luke and Lorelai’s wedding until April and subsequently Lorelai herself screwed it all up. June 3rd is also the date Rory had a date in court, and my friends and I have unofficially deemed June 3rd Gilmore Girls day. It usually includes good food, coffee coffee coffee and maybe an episode or two. Luckily, you have plenty of time to watch the entire series (a few times, probs) before the next GG holiday.

Tip #14: Don’t worry if you don’t get all the pop culture references

The witty banter and references made in the show are sometimes thrown in there that you miss most of them. I love that I can watch the show to this day and still find a ref I missed before. In the DVDs (IDK if they still do this now), each box set used to come with a lexicon guide to help you understand what the characters were talking about. Even the cast admitted they didn’t get all of the references – apparently Alexis had to ask Lauren who The Waltons were at some point…

Tip #15: The finale wasn’t a real finale

When you reach the very last episode of the series, you’ll be left with a feeling of unfinished business. Like it was fine, but you also want more. This is mainly because the finale wasn’t actually meant to be a series finale. When the WB turned into the CW during the show’s last season, a lot of things got fucked up, including the fact that Amy Sherman-Palladino left at the end of season 6, which is also the reason why season 7 was kind of weird in general. Anyways, when they shot the season 7 finale, they weren’t sure if they were going to get picked up or not, so they wrote the season finale as if it could be a series finale, but also left room for the possibility of going somewhere in season 8. Because of this, fans have been clamoring for more, which is why you hear about those movie rumors from time to time. BTW, those are rumors, nothing’s happening with that. However, AS-P has said in the past that she had planned the final line of the entire series since the beginning, but because she left, we never got to find out what that was. So here’s hoping she’ll maybe spill the beans or there will be a random 2 hour TV movie that will satisfied GG fans around the world.

Alright kids, I think that’s enough to get you ready to binge watch one of the best shows ever. Hopefully it will live up to all the hype. And now that Dawson’s Creek is off Instant (RIP), this should probably be your go to show moving forward. Copper Boom!

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Net Neutrality, As Explained in GIFs

Posted in Miscellany by

Yesterday almost every website I went to was displaying that wheel of internet purgatory.

And I mean, no thank you. I already lived through 1997 once, buddy.

And despite all the Beanie Babies and Jack Dawsons and heartening worldwide responses to the loss of Princess Diana (RIP), once was enough.

In 1997, we didn’t know the internet could be better than it was. But yesterday, websites like Netflix, Reddit, Etsy, Tumblr and many more were displaying the “wheel of death,” that horrible icon that you’d watch for minutes on end waiting for webpages to load back in the day. I can’t believe we used to sit through that. Jeez. Go out and play, Kid Molly. The Angelfire fanpage for Pacey and Joey will still be there tomorrow.

However, unlike in 1997, this time the wheel was there on purpose. The websites displaying it were trying to make a point about the importance of Net Neutrality (by socking it to internet users, who presumably don’t have much of a voting say in the matter, but whatever).

friends-aversion

Good job, guys.

If you haven’t been keeping up on the Net Neutrality debate until yesterday’s whole shebang, we’re here to explain it – using the internet’s most important resource!

Okay, the internet’s OTHER most important resource:Ugh not that either, sickos. We’re talking about gifs.

Internet speed is largely in the hands of internet service providers (ISPs), mega-conglomerates who are probably full of just lovely people (I have to say that, because they’re in charge of how fast our site runs).

You may have a personal customer service vendetta with any one of these providers, such as AT&T or Comcast.

Under a proposed F.C.C. rule, ISPs would be able to compel companies like Google to pay extra to get “preferential treatment.” The result is that websites and companies that have the big bucks will run on the speedy, smooth internet superhighway we’ve all come to know and love. And the underdogs will be like:

In this scenario the obese cat is, say, Comcast, regular ‘net users are the folks stuck in the traffic jam, and mega-sites like Netflix are that one A-hole zipping through the lanes on a motorcycle. Or, more accurately, flying above all of this in a private jet, although to bypass the traffic they have to, you know, pay for that private jet.

You may also be familiar with the F.C.C.’s previous work, banning all of the good swears on broadcast television.

It sounds almost logical. Pay more, get more. But think about it: you don’t have to deal with your phone running slow. Or your television. They transmit at the same speed for everyone. That’s because they’re designated as a “telecommunications service.” The legal definition of telecommunications service sounds almost exactly like the way a fancy person would describe the internet:

“The term “telecommunications service” means the offering of telecommunications for a fee directly to the public, or to such classes of users as to be effectively available directly to the public, regardless of the facilities used” (47 U.S.C.A. § 1153).

These services are “common carriers.” Common carrier is a term of art referring to public utilities, telecommunications service providers, and – originally – transporters of people and things (hence the “carrier” part). Basically, anything that serves as the modern equivalent of a steam locomotive in the 1800s.

Hogwarts Express: common carrier (unless you’re a muggle?). The Weasley’s flying car: not a common carrier.

There are special legal obligations on common carriers, but the relevant one here is the duty not to discriminate. U.S. readers, you’ll remember this from Plessy vs. Ferguson, the Supreme Court case with the segregated train cars that we all learned about in high school. Okay, that one had a bad result.

Important: a common carrier can only discriminate with a “compelling reason,” like public safety, for example.

Ready? Now we get to talk about a U.S. Court of Appeals case! Hey, I need something to remind me that I’m a lawyer other than my crushing student loan debt and my closet full of business casual attire.

Under the F.C.C.’s Open Internet Order, issued in 2010, three principles were in place. The first was transparency: “Fixed and mobile broadband providers must disclose the network management practices, performance characteristics, and terms and conditions of their broadband services.”

The second was blocking: “Fixed broadband providers may not block lawful content, applications, services, or non-harmful devices; mobile broadband providers may not block lawful websites, or block applications that compete with their voice or video telephone service.”
And finally, no unreasonable discrimination: “Fixed broadband providers may not unreasonably discriminate in transmitting lawful network traffic.”

INTERFERENCE

Taken as a whole, these principles are often referred to as “net neutrality” or “internet openness.”

[Another three internet principles, not signed into law but still important: never give your name and address to someone you don’t know, don’t open links on weird-looking spam emails, and never forward a chain email with the threat of the recipient being haunted by a Teen Internet Ghost.]

Verizon v. F.C.C. strikes down the blocking and unreasonable discrimination provisions. Here’s how:

  • The Court held that the F.C.C. acted outside its scope of authority in the “unreasonable discrimination” rule, because the rule relegated I.S.P.s to de facto common carriers. Reminder: we’d really like for them to be common carriers. And the way for that to happen would be a (most likely statutory) reclassification as a “telecommunications service.” So, a new law. Easy-peasy.

  • As to the “no blocking” rule, the Open Internet Order only applied this to “fixed broadband,” not mobile – so, your home internet service was subject to the rule, but not your smartphone. The F.C.C. argued that this was necessary to preserve fair and open internet transmission. But if I.S.P.s are private providers, not common carriers, then that doesn’t matter. Again, if broadband internet was classified as a common carrier it could fall within the F.C.C.’s regulation powers.

The Effect

  • Without a “no blocking” rule, your I.S.P. could block content – say, Netflix or Hulu – in order to knock out the competition and force users to subscribe to their services. [“AT & T and Time Warner have acknowledged that online video aggregators such as Netflix and Hulu compete directly with their own “core video subscription service.” Verizon v. F.C.C., 740 F.3d 623, 645 (2014).]
  • An I.S.P. could also block internet content it disagrees with, like, for instance, blogs trying to get you to support Net Neutrality – or political candidates working against their interests, for example.
  • Slower or more expensive internet could be a serious barrier to entry for new businesses and enterprises.
  • They could also discriminate against different pay levels for traffic, not transmitting your Google search for “weird rash on stomach what to do” or “[Celebrity name] + feet” because you don’t subscribe to their best service.
  • And because there aren’t many I.S.P.s, you can’t just take your traffic elsewhere, because the big corporations will all be incentivized to behave the same way.
  • Not to mention, internet privacy could suffer as ISPs basically own you if you want to use the internet.
  • TL:DR: Your internet could get really slow:
  • And you could be seeing a lot more of this:Which I thought I left behind with these:

 

 

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Cross It Off: The Summer To-Do List

Posted in GSOY (Gratuitous Story of Yourself) by

How is it May already? I swear it was just January. At the beginning of the year, my friends and I came up with two mottos to live by (because we couldn’t pick just one). It’s pretty self explanatory, but basically we’ve been using these phrases to help push us to do things that we would have been hesitant to do otherwise, or things we’ve been putting off for forever.

I don’t know about you guys, but I like making to-do lists. I get great joy in crossing things off my to-do lists. Every summer, I make a list of TV shows that I’ve been meaning to watch but never have time to during the regular TV season. Last year, I managed to plow through 7 series (welp) in a matter of months. But this summer, in the spirit of our 2014 mottos, I’ve decided to expand my summer bucket list beyond the small screen. I put things on my list that I’ve been putting off the rest of the year, and hopefully this will be the summer I will get shit done. Here are some of the things on my to do list this summer.

Read More Books

In full disclosure, I’m not much of a reader. Legit my favorite books are popular young adult novels and biographies by celebrities. But whatever. Molly gave me John Green’s Looking for Alaska and I shit you not, it took me like a year to get through – not because it wasn’t good, but because I just struggle to find time to sit down and focus on a book instead of watching TV or something. In February, I bought BJ Novak’s book, One More Thing (and met him at a signing, NBD), and as of May 1st, I have only read 33 pages. Again, it’s not because I don’t like it – I do, it’s really funny – but because ugh sitting down to read. But guys, I’m gonna finish it this summer. And I’m going to re-read The Fault in Our Stars before the movie comes out. And I’m going to read Gone Girl before that movie comes out in October… uh do you see a pattern?

Get Through My Netflix Queue

I am one of those rare people who still have both the Instant AND DVD subscriptions with Netflix. While I use Instant frequently, I tend to sit on DVDs for a long time, which I’m sure a lot of people do too. I had Rock of Ages for like 6 months. In the end I forced myself to watch it and I didn’t even pay full attention to it. I have like over 200 movies in my queue, and I’ve been trying really hard to not hold on to one movie for too long. As you may have guessed, I’m more of a TV person, so there are a lot of films I still haven’t seen (legit JUST saw This is the End last week. Hated it. Best part was BSB. And Emma Watson), and I’m going to attempt to get through a lot of films in my queue – maybe get it down to like 75? That seems too lofty…

I Never Said I Wasn’t Going To Not Put TV Shows On This List

The past few weeks, some of my favorite shows have been wrapping up their seasons early (SCANDAL THO. AND PARKS!). It was April for goodness sake! I mean How I Met Your Mother wrapped in March! Shows are supposed to end in May! /endrant. Basically this means I can start my TV watching a little earlier than usual. So what am I watching this year?

Dance Academy

(per the suggestion of my friend Ana, who has been pushing me to watch it for like 5 months haha)

True Detective

(So proud of myself for avoiding all spoilers on this)

It’s Always Sunny in Philadelphia

(This will be my Everest. I always felt left out with the Kitten Mittens joke. 10 seasons… we’ll see.)

Learn How To Make GIFs

Because, obviously. Relatedly: PHOTOSHOP IS EXPENSIVE WTF.

Explore LA

I’ve lived here for about five years now, and still have so much more to discover. I went hiking for the first time a couple weeks ago, which is like a thing that everyone in LA does. There are restaurants I went to go to, neighborhoods I’ve never seen before, and not gonna lie, the Backstreet Boys got their star on the Walk of Fame last year and I STILL haven’t been to it, even though I drive near it on my commute to work.

Well, there it is. Do you guys make to-do lists like this too?! Share in the comments below!

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Show You Should Be Watching If You Aren’t Already: Orange Is The New Black

Posted in Entertainment by

Raise your hand if you were apprehensive about the idea of Netflix creating original programming. I thought it was a smart idea for Arrested Development to make its big comeback online after the networks gave it the heave ho, but when I heard the people behind Netflix were going to continue their venture into alternative programming, I didn’t really think it was going anywhere.

Boy was I wrong.

I watched House of Cards, thought it was brilliant, and then it gave me hope that Orange is the New Black would be just as good. After hearing from a bunch of people and seeing the fandom grow on Tumblr, I decided to give it a try. And in all honesty, I loved it more than Kevin Spacey looking straight into my soul in House of Cards.

Created by the woman behind Weeds, Jenji Kohan, I knew that if OITNB had any of the same drama/weird comedy her previous show did, it would at least be pretty decent. And for you Weeds fans, I expected it to be as good as at least the first 2 seasons in Agrestic.

Quick plot summary: Based on a true story, Piper Chapman (Taylor Schilling) is a yuppie, Connecticut-raised, New York City resident who is engaged to her fiance, Larry Bloom (Jason Biggs). In the pilot, she is sentenced to a women’s correctional facility after being convicted of carrying drug money for drug smuggler Alex Vause (Laura Pepon) – who also happens to be her ex-girlfriend. Piper is introduced to an eccentric group of fellow inmates, and learns the ropes of living in jail.

I think what makes this show special is that although Piper is the main character and the story revolves around her, the magic of the show is the outstanding ensemble of actors that come together to create a group of people you care about – even though they are all criminals. Besides Piper, I believe, you get to know each person before it is revealed what they did in order to spend time in prison. We get to know these characters on a human level, not a criminal one.

Here are just a few of the standout recurring characters from OITNB,

Tasha “Taystee” Jefferson

played by Danielle Brooks

Taystee is probably the liveliest, most energetic inmate in the prison. In fact, she’s so upbeat that she’s the main reason why at times, you forget you’re watching a show that takes place behind bars.  Taystee also is an excellent employee in the prison library (as seen above), which makes me love her even more.

Poussey Washington

Played by Samira Wiley

  Poussey is Taystee’s best friend, and their friendship is one to be jealous of. In a place where the ladies often look to each other for ahem.. sexual relief… Taystee and Poussey’s friendship is endearing, natural, and at its heart – a story two lifelong sisters.

Tiffany “Pennsatucky” Doggett

played by taryn manning

This bitch cray. There’s no other way to describe it. She’s like The Situation or Sarah Palin – you know what they’re saying and doing is wrong, but you can’t help but watch it all go down in flames. Pennsatucky is a former drug addict who turns herself into a self-proclaimed evangelist for God. Except everything she does is not Christian at all.

Suzanne “Crazy Eyes” Warren

played by uzo aduba

Oh Crazy Eyes. She has the most fitting nickname, because all you have to do is look at her. She quickly becomes obsessed with Piper, but things go awry once she tells her she’s engaged – to a man – and does not want to hook up. Let’s just say, don’t get Crazy Eyes mad when she’s had a lot to drink.

Sophia Burset

played by laverne cox

Sophia is a transgender woman who is the hairdresser for many of the inmates. As if living as a transgender isn’t hard enough out in the real world, it’s even more difficult in prison. But Sophia has this exceptional confidence that she always carries that would make any woman – or man – jealous.

Nicky Nichols

played by Natasha Lyonne

I feel like Natasha Lyonne was made for the role. Nicky Nichols is a former drug addict who provides snarky commentary and A+ advice to her fellow inmates.

BONUS: John Bennett

Played by Matt McGorry, Bennett is a correctional officer who is in a secret relationship with inmate Daya. I did not include a picture because I graduated college with him and it’s weird to see his face everywhere. I got freaked out and had to stop searching. But he’s included so I can compare my success in life with his (not as impressive as his).

BONUS x2: The cast members are people you actually want to hang out with IRL. Case in point: TWERKING.

BONUSx3: Even though we’re nearing the end of the summer TV season, there’s still plenty of time to fit in another series before fall TV kicks up again. So after you watch OITNB and are left wondering what to watch, we suggest using this awesome TV show generator to find your next fave series!

Click image to open interactive version (via CableTV.com).

TV Marathoning: 5 Steps of Grief (The Taylor-Bartlet model)

Posted in Entertainment by

In a world where we can easily access DVDs, DVR and Netflix, it makes it so much easier to watch a TV series for hours on end, lending itself to the highest form of laziness. In the moment, you think it’s worth it, but is it really?

For me, TV marathoning began in college, when a few of my friends and I decided to spend an entire day devoted to a whole season of Friends. We were/are fanatics of the show, so it’s not like we needed to watch it, but it’s the experience of watching it together with, ahem, friends, that makes it 10 times better. We called it a Friendstravaganza, and literally played episodes non stop all day, only stopping to get take out for dinner.

That was the beginning of the end, because I’m pretty sure the Friendstravaganza taught me how to watch TV all day. In fact, I made it a goal to use this new found skill to catch up on series that I’ve been meaning to watch but haven’t seen yet. My roommates and I even made a list of all the series we aimed to watch. In the past few years, I’ve been able to cross off Veronica Mars, Grey’s Anatomy, Six Feet Under, Friday Night Lights, Arrested Development, Studio 60 on the Sunset Strip, Homeland, and a bunch more.

Here is the original 2011 (?) version of the TV list. Crossed off 2, 3, 5, 6, 7, and 11. Plus 1 and 2 from the Catch up column. Here’s the newest version, if you’re still reading this.

I recently finished all seven seasons of The West Wing, thanks to Netflix Instant. A personal best, I managed to watch 155 episodes in 26 days. That’s about 1/7th of my month dedicated to President Bartlet and co. And as my beloved Tim Riggins would say, No Regrets.

But finishing The West Wing got me thinking, that just like Riggins and FNL, I found myself wanting to watch the last few episodes, but not wanting it to ever end. I was heading towards the usual post-show withdrawal and depression. In fact, with FNL, I immediately purchased all five seasons on DVD and watched the first season like a week after I finished the whole series.

Which got me thinking: post- TV marathoning is just like the five stages of grief, also known as the Kubler-Ross model. Except for entertainment purposes, I’ll call it the Taylor-Bartlet model. Let me explain.

**West Wing spoilers ahead**

1) Denial — “I feel fine.”; “This can’t be happening, not to me. Not to this show.”; “There’s gotta be more episodes, obviously.” ; “How can I go another day without watching another sexual tension filled episode of Josh and Donna moments?”

2) Anger — “How can this happen to me?”; ‘”Who is to blame for this show ending? NBC? Of course.”; “I want to know what happened to Moira Kelly’s horrible character, and now we’ll NEVER find out.”; “Why was Sam not at Leo’s funeral?? Come AWN Rob Lowe!”; “DID ZOEY MOVE TO DC TO BE WITH CHARLIE WHILE HE’S STUDYING AT GEORGETOWN TO BE A LAWYER LIKE HIS SOON-TO-BE FATHER-IN-LAW (I’M ASSUMING)??”

3) Bargaining — “I’ll do anything for another season, maybe Pres. Bartlet at his New Hampshire farm, driving Abbey crazy because he can’t smoke?”; “I will give my life savings if I can watch Toby’s kid Huck and CJ and Danny’s daughter get married”; “If only Aaron Sorkin came back for just one last half season and make a Two Cathedrals finale part two?”; “Ok, what if I rewatch season one in its entirety, that’s like a whole new revamped WW, seeing as it’s been weeks since I last saw it”

4) Depression — “I’m so upset that I never caught on to WW sooner.” “Nothing will be this good, why bother with any other show?”; “I miss Mrs. Landingham, why go on?”; “There will never be a series like this ever again. I’m looking at you, Newsroom.”; “No, it’s totally normal for me to be crying and laughing and eating ice cream while watching this reunion video, and this and this.”

5) Acceptance — “In hindsight, I’m just thankful Netflix finally decided to put it on instant so I could watch the entire series at a rapid pace.”; “It ended on a good note, so there’s really no where else to go with it. I’ll just watch the Parks and Rec episode with Bradley Whitford doing a walk and talk, now”; “It’s going to be okay. I still haven’t watched The Wire”

I’m pretty sure I’m still in stage one of TV Marathoning grief, so if you need me, I’ll be on tumblr reblogging gifs and photosets of Josh and Donna’s relationship.

Genres Recommended To Me From Netflix

Posted in Entertainment, Lists by
  • Social & Cultural Documentaries
  • Feel-Good Romantic Musicals
  • Movies Featuring a Strong Female Lead
  • Sentimental Independent Comedies
  • Cerebral TV Dramas
  • Witty Suspenseful TV Shows
  • Critically-acclaimed Witty Romantic Movies
  • Suspenseful Independent Movies
  • Mind-bending Movies
  • Goofy Kids’ TV

What I’ve learned about myself: I like things that are witty, on TV, and yet, mind-bending. That’s the last time I rate Inception 5 stars.