It’s Wednesday, so you know what that means – no, not ‘Hump Day’ – it’s everyone’s favorite themed day of the week, Woman Crush Wednesday!
Today we’re crushin’ on a lady who has been a favorite of ours for a few months now, but in light of recent events, I think it’s time to share our adoration for her to the world on this #WCW.
Lupita Nyong’o is someone we never saw coming, never could have dreamed of being a real person, and turned out to be everything we ever wanted to be in life. If it seems like she came out of nowhere, well, it’s because she pretty much did.
Her story in a nutshell: Her Kenyan parents were living in Mexico when she was born, because her dad was a politician/college professor teaching in Mexico. It’s Kenyan tradition to name your child after the events of the day, hence, en espanol, ‘Lupita’. They eventually moved back to Nairobi, but when she was 16, her parents sent her and her sister back to Mexico to learn Spanish (yes, she’s fluent, obvs). She went on to graduate with a BA in Film and Theatre Studies at Hampshire College in Amherst, Massachusetts, then got her BFA at the Yale School of Drama. While a Senior at Yale, she auditioned for 12 Years a Slave and booked her famous role as Patsey BEFORE she even graduated. Yeah, 12 Years a Slave was her very first film role ever. You know the rest.
Now that you know her story, here are just a few reasons why WE love Queen Lupita. And to be honest, if we could, we would dedicate every #WCW to our wannabe best friend, but since we don’t want to look too desperate (or crazy), we’ll just do it this one time, but just know she’s in our hearts this Wednesday and all the Wednesdays for the rest of our lives.
She Is A Fashion Icon
Besides her excellent work as Patsey in 12 Years a Slave, I think it’s safe to say that Queen Lupita (QL) really got everyone’s attention with her on point style. Namely, that little Ralph Lauren cape number she wore to the Golden Globes. She had kind of been flying under the radar before that moment, one of those newcomers you knew about and were interested in, but didn’t get too much publicity in the media. Until that night at the Golden Globes. Homegirl came on that red carpet like, ‘I am here to stay!’
Since then, style pros and amateur fashionistas alike were (impatiently) waiting what QL would wear on all the red carpets moving forward. And she did not disappoint. I could easily post all her perfect gowns here, but using the handy photo above, it’s worth noting the green Dior (BAFTAs), Turquoise/teal Gucci (SAG), obvi the dreamy blue Prada (Oscars) and the white cutout Fifth Element type dress by Calvin Klein (Critics’ Choice).
It’s important to note that although this style seems all by QL, celebs get help from stylists to find the perfect dress, and my other new girl crush is on Lupita’s stylist, Micaela Erlanger.
Micaela is a Parsons The New School of Design grad, and also styles the likes of Lady Mary aka Michelle Dockery and Winona Ryder. She ranked number 3 on The Hollywood Reporter’s Top 25 Power Stylists, and no doubt does she deserve that position. I’d say bump her up to number one next year.
She Could Be a Model
I’m gonna let these pictures speak for themselves.
Lupita Nyong’o by David Slijper For Glamour March 2014
Oh, JK , turns out she is a model – for Miu Miu’s Spring 2014 campaign, at least.
The time I tried to be a model like Lupita… Basically the fact that I sat exactly where she took this pic is reason enough for me to believe we’re soulmates
She Has A Way With Words
When Lupita talks, it’s like we’re floating on a cloud on a warm spring day. Captivated by every word, I could listen to her speak for hours. You know how people say if you’re a good singer, you can sing the entire phone book? Well I could listen to Queen Lupita say the entire phonebook AND I would somehow be compelled to call every single person in said phone book and tell them about how great she is.
Even Oprah called her beautiful and that made it a fact.
And of course, her Oscars speech…
And like her Essence & Oscars speech, she is well aware of the fact she is now a role model to thousands of young girls and women…
I feel very fortunate to be in this position, and I know that it means more to people because I am an African and I am dark-skinned. In many ways, me being on the scene is doing for little girls everywhere what Oprah Winfrey and Whoopu Goldberg did for me. My world exploded by them being on screen. Hopefully I will inspire and be meaningful to other people. But I can’t take on other people’s dreams for me. I can only dream for myself. {Entertainment Weekly)
She’s a #Gladiator
ANYONE WHO WATCHES SCANDAL IS OKAY IN MY BOOK (but really, can we talk about this show tho, Lupita??)
She’s a Fangirl Like Us
As you can see, QL is a fangirl for Scandal, but also of a lot of other people in the biz. She mentioned that during Awards season, especially at the Golden Globes, she made a checklist of all the celebs she wanted to meet at the event. So she proceeded to do so and take pix with them and she’s basically living out our dreams.
“AND THEN I met Sidney Poitier!!!!!!!! My Inspiration My Example My Hope My Gold Standard Words cannot express my joy and amazement in having this dream encounter come true. #Blessed! #Oscars”
“Geeking out over meeting the BADDEST#BryanCranston at the #AFIAwards2013.#BreakingBad #KillingMeSoftly”
She Loves Oprah (And Oprah Loves Her)
While the list of people who don’t love Oprah is very short, Lupita’s love for Oprah is of note because she was inspired by the ultimate Queen and it’s like her life has led her up to this – to becoming BFFs with O.
When Lupita first met Oprah last year, it was at a roundtable talk for The Hollywood Reporter (watch this adorbs vid of Lupita talking about the moment she met O). This interview is where a bunch of frontrunners for the Oscars get together and talk about life and their craft. While a lot of actors can make this look pretentious, Lupita makes it endearing and intriguing and even brought tears to my eyes.
Since then, they have clearly become friendly, as Oprah even invited Lupita’s mom and brother to her house for lunch – WITHOUT Lupita there!!! Needless to say, I am jealous of each of them.
She’s a fan of 90s TV Shows
Listen, if you’ve been following us for a while, you know we love ourselves some 90s/00s nostalgia. In this interview with Jimmy Kimmel, QL talks about the shows she watched as a kid that introduced her to the American culture – and what she did when she rode her first rollercoaster (Step by Step inspiration included)
So now that we’ve shared our love for her, feel free to share your love for her too! And Lupita, if you’re listening, we’re available to watch Full House with you too.
Anddd we’re back! A review of Dawson’s Creek Season 3 comin’ at ya like shards of broken glass after Andie McPhee breaks a mirror in the bathroom. If you’re just joining us, I’ve been watching DC from the beginning, because as a tween I missed out on this major pop culture experience and would like to see what all the hubbub is like as an adult (You can read my season one and season two recaps here).
At the end of season two, The Potter family restaurant catches on fire all because of Joey’s drug dealer dad who goes back to jail per the nudging of Dawson, which makes them split up yet again. Andie’s off in the looney bin, Pacey’s trying to deal with the fact Andie’s off in the looney bin, Jack is still gay and Jen is still trying to make sense of her life. Got it? Here we go.
Episode 1
In general, I’d like to say that it’s interesting to watch this without knowing the cultural impact from the outside. Like obviously when this was on in real time circa 1999, the main cast were huge stars. By this point, James Van Der Beek, Katie Holmes, Michelle Williams and Joshua Jackson were also off doing major movies like Varsity Blues, Teaching Mrs. Tingle, Dick and Cruel Intentions, respectively. I vaguely remember it being big, but it’s funny how none of that matters – or even shows – when you watch it years later after their popularity has come and gone.
Anyways, school has started and Joey not talking to Dawson isn’t the most awkward thing about this episode.
It’s that Jen Lindley is becoming a cheerleader. And these cheerleaders – are typical bitchy Jawbreakers like girls who just want to ruin everyone’s lives and literally use the phrase ‘you look like a prize hog’ about an overweight girl who wants to try out.
It’s that Dawson has met a rando girl who is a stripper (?) and super mysterious and I hate her.
It’s ACTUALLY that Joey comes back to Dawson and attempts to have sex with him but he’s all no thank you and it’s a whole bunch of second-hand embarassment. Joey is clearly not going to be able to face Dawson anytime soon, so he asks Pacey to look after her and make sure she’s okay… ruh roh.
Notable Quote: “It’s a new year. You never know. You and I might even become friends.” Pacey to Joey and I cannot wait to see how this plays out (spoiler alert: I know they’re going to be a couple, I just don’t know when and for how long!)
Episode 2
Since Dawson’s dad became the coach of the Capeside High football team and Jack’s the first openly gay football player on the team, I’m half expecting someone to get hurt during the game and get stuck in a wheelchair and they’re all like ‘Cape Cod Forevahh’, essentially turning it into an episode of Friday Night Lights.
Dawson gets caught making out with Mysterious (Summer’s) Eve at the Homecoming game in front of the entire school, kinda like Hugh Grant making out with Natalie at the Christmas Pageant in Love Actually.
Dawson’s in shock, yet still takes a bow and stands on stage for a while, soaking in the applause.
Notable Quote: “I’m just a girl standing in a janitor’s closet. Asking him to kiss her.” MS Eve to Dawson or first draft of Notting Hill’s best line?
Episode 5
Hey what happened to Joey’s brother-in-law? Too many black people on the show? Seriously, why have I not seen him since season one?
Basically this MS Eve storyline is that she goes by the name Eve Whitman, and ironically, I really hope they wrap up this Dick Whitman/Mad Men storyline up real soon because it’s getting annoying.
Okay, I guess we’re learning things because Jen’s mom apparently had another kid and that’sMS Eve??
Notable Quote:“Mrs. Ryan, who is that in that picture?” Dawson
“Oh we’ll that’s our Lord Jesus Christ as interpreted by one of our gifted young Sunday school students.” Mrs. Ryan/Grams
“I meant the one below it.” Dawson (turns out it’s Jen’s mom, it’s the same pic Eve had when she said she was looking for her mom)
Episode 6
DRAG QUEENS. DRAG QUEENS AT A CAPESIDE GALA. I CANNOT.
Episode 7
Wait now Dawson works at the video store? And why are there random pop corn boxes being used as replacements for VHS tapes? Was this some kind of contest the WB held to count how many popcorn boxes you can find in the episode and then whoever wins gets a free t-shirt with a WB frog on it?
Okay so we know the show’s creator Kevin Williamson was also the guy who did the Scream movies, but is he really going to make Halloween parody episodes every year? This particular one leaves them at a creepy island and it’s like Blair Witch meets The Craft meets Professor Trelawney’s Potion’s class from Harry Potter.
Notable Quote: “Nobody brought snacks? No Doritos? No Ho Hos?” Pacey to his ‘friends’ and their lack of thought into their adventure. This line isn’t even that funny but the way it was delivered was pure gold.
“Roswell’s on in five minutes.” Jen to Pacey, which is also comical because Roswell was on after DC in 1999 AND Jason Behr, who played the rich guy that hosted the Cosmo sex quiz party S2, was on Roswell. WB INCEST.
Episode 9
I just noticed this but Alex Gansa is an executive producer on this show – this is the guy who currently runs Homeland. Alex Gansa is responsible for both Dawson Leery and Carrie Mathison. Think about that one for a second…
Guys it’s happening… I’m starting to ship pacey and Joey. It could be a problem. I’m warning you now. Joey recruits Pacey for these dance lessons to try to get a scholarship in exchange for tutoring him in math. Except Dawson thinks they’re having an affair and it all comes to a head at the end.
Here we are again with Dawson vs. Joey vs. Pacey triangle but I have to say this story line is starting to stretch the limits of believability. Maybe I just want Pacey and Joey together already, but really, their bickering is so sophomoric… You guys are Juniors now, come onnn.
Notable Quote: “I’m trying to lead but Janet Reno here doesn’t exactly make it easy on a fellow, you know what I’m saying?” Pacey can’t dance, neither can Joey and it’s like the best meet-cute if they hadn’t met already.
Episode 10
Dawson, Joey, Jack and Andie all head to Boston to check out Harvard (because that’s a common thing that 4 friends are all considering the same Ivy League school). Joey meets this douchebag guy, Andie befriends the Dean’s secratary and Dawson meets a girl who is also interested in filmmaking.
This person look familiar? Because it’s Bianca Lawson – BIANCA LAWSON WHO DOES NOT AGE. Like Stacey Dash has nothing on her. She played a teenager in Saved by the Bell: The New class (’93), Sister, Sister (’96), Buffy (’98), Save the Last Dance (’01), and Pretty Little Liars (’12). YOU TIME TRAVELLING DEMON.
Meanwhile, Jack is still out (literally) checking the gay scene in Boston and as someone who went to a school in Boston where the unofficial slogan was ‘Gay by May or your money back,’ I can vouch for the gay scene there. Poor Jack though, he straight up (gay up?) ran away from a guy in a gay bar because he was so nervous and didn’t know what to do. Bless.
Episode 12
Update: Bodie (Joey’s brother-in-law/Bessie’s husband who I’ve been calling Jeff?) is back and they’re acting like we were supposed to know where he’s been? Am I missing something? Quite possibly.
Episode 15
Joey’s painting some mural on the wall of the school and Pacey comes to visit and all I can think about is when they’re getting together. Does it happen in like the third to last episode and there’s a kiss and they won’t address their real feelings until the season finale? Come onnnn.
However, I must say that the writing as improved so much since the first season – it’s less cheesy and the dialogue is more Gilmore Girls-y than Saved By the Bell-y.
And then someone vandalizes Joey’s mural and Pacey and Dawson (mainly Pacey) go on a man hunt to find who did it. And here’s some dialogue proving Pacey is starting to become the only smart person on this show. Everything he says in this bit o’ dialogue is why he is such a good guy at heart and is clearly in love with Joey.
Pacey: Well, not to stick my nose in here, but to just stick my nose in, of course it was a personal attack.
Dawson: What?
Pacey: Well, there are only three murals in that hallway. Yours was the only one that got touched.
Dawson: So?
Pacey: So, either someone didn’t like what Joey was trying to say, or someone just didn’t like you.
Dawson: Your logic leaves a lot to be desired.
Pacey: Dawson, we’re in high school here. It’s a veritable society unto it’s own, with a pecking order that makes the caste system look forgiving. Who knows what subtle line you may have crossed or what offence you may have given, without even knowing it.
Dawson: Paranoid much?
Pacey: You don’t think there’s a possibility that there’s somebody out there who hates Joey just for being Joey? Who hates the way she talks, the way she dresses, the way she chews on her lower lip?
Joey: Look, I don’t chew on my lower lip.
The guy who Pacey beats up because he thinks he vandalized the mural, Matt Caufield, legit looks like 25 and not a 25 who passes for a 17 year old.
In fact all of the main cast are starting to look older. James van der Beek legit looks like a college kids visiting his old high school on Christmas break. And where is Jen? Shooting a movie? Just because Bessie’s MIA hubs is back means they had to take Jen off the payroll.
Notable Quote: “I did what any self-respecting kid would do in the cellular age, you know? I whipped out my Startac, I dialed home.” Man-child Matt Caufield, encapsulating the 90s in a single line.
“That’s what I like about you Pacey. You just go so deep.” Josephine Potter THAT’S WHAT SHE SAID THAT’S WHAT SHE SAID!
Episode 16
Ah yes the time old tradition of an episode that deals with race! Basically Principal Green, who is black (and Bianca Lawson’s father) decided to expel Man-child Matt for vandalizing the mural (despite being an arrogant, rich, over-privileged white kid) and the parents were pissed off because he had such a hard punishment. The school board is about to go all HAM on Principal Green and removed him from his post because they ‘don’t agree with his decision’ but Joey organizes a Save Mr. Green rally in an attempt to keep his job.
At the rally, a bunch of students show up, telling their own personal touching stories with Mr. Green, including Minkus from Boy Meets World?
Proud Pacey even intros Joey and he’s wearing a Boston Bruins jersey and REMEMBER WHEN JOSHUA JACKSON STARTED HIS CAREER IN THE MIGHTY DUCKS AND HE’S PROVEN HE’S NOT JUST SOME CHILD STAR?!
I’M SORRY I HATED ON THIS EPISODE BUT NOW IM OVERWHEMLINGLY EMOTIONAL AND THERE IS SOMETHING IN MY EYE MAKING ME TEAR UP BECAUSE THESE KIDS ARE JUST BEING SO RESPECTFUL TO THEIR PRINCIPAL AND HE’S LEAVING FOR SUCH A STUPID REASON BUT HE’S ONLY DOING WHAT’S BEST FOR THE KIDS AND HE’S SO PROUD OF THEM NOT JUST FOR FIGHTING FOR HIM BUT FOR SPEAKING UP AND STANDING TOGETHER FOR A CAUSE AND THEY EVEN LINED UP IN THE HALLWAY AND DID A SLOW CLAP FOR HIM AS HE LEFT
And this is an actual song that played while he walked down the hallway to really hammer the theme home.
Also, Pacey bought rented an entire brick wall so Joey can actually paint a mural. Like, let’s get ‘er done folks.
Episode 17
Pacey’s punishment to punching the lights out of Man-Child Matt is to be a mentor to a kid, and that kid is Jonathan Lipnicki.
Pacey with a witty child is my favorite thing – next to Pacey with a witty Joey.
THEY KISSED IT HAPPENED Y’ALL WHAWT IS WRONG WITH ME
Episode 19
Joey’s all ‘mad’ that Pacey kissed her, so natch this causes awkwardness between them because she knows she obvs likes him. Too bad they’re spending the weekend away in the same house 24/7 with a young Julie Bowen as Dawson’s cool Aunt Gwen. Joey and Dawson visit her every year because she’s all hippie and cool and the rest of the gang follows.
AND BY COOL AUNT GWEN I MEAN CLAIRE DUNPHY IS A COCK BLOCK WHO WON’T LET JOEY AND PACEY KEEP KISSING.
Slash I’m kind of in love with the scene. Joey admits that she actually felt something between them and … PACEY WITTER, DREAM MAN.
Joey: This morning. Your arm brushed up against me in bed, and… And I felt it.
Pacey: How did it feel?
Joey: Made me feel alive.
Pacey: Ok. Joey… I’m going to kiss you now.
Joey: You can’t.
Pacey: Jo, you can’t say something like that to me and expect me not to kiss you, so that’s exactly what I’m gonna do. I’m gonna kiss you in about 10 seconds. And if you don’t want me to kiss you… Well, if you don’t want me to, I guess then you’re just gonna have to stop me. 10.
Episode 20
They’re employing this ‘tell a story from the beginning multiple times from different perspectives’ that many a series and movie employ and guess what – it actually works. I bet the writers had this idea in their arsenal for years but wanted to keep it until it was a special episode and this was definitely it.
That being said I totally get all this teen angst and everything but it’s so annoying that Joey would just give up this potential relationship for Dawson, who they’ve already established is not going to work out with. I get it, but looking at this situation as an adult and watching these kids it’s frustrating that they can’t just work their shit out. I guess that’s what teenage angst years are for.
Episode 22
Dawson holds an anti-prom because the real prom folks won’t let Jack bring another guy as a prom date, proving that Dawson’s good guy streak. Joey ends up going with Dawson and Pacey with Andie, who clearly bought all her items – including her makeup – from the DeLiA*s catalog.
Have I become incensed or is Dawson acting like a little bitch who doesnt belong w Joey ? Like GTFO. I mean he kissed Joey and I literally said ‘gross’ out loud… I think I’ve binge watched too fast…
And I’m so over Dawson’s parents being all lovey-dovey then deciding to divorce then not divorcing. Dawson’s just like his parents trying to hold on to something they had in the past.
Episode 23
You know who has turned into not an asshole? Deputy Doug Witter. He purposely pulled Joey over to warn her about Pacey leaving.
And I guess I was wrong about Dawson’s parents. They’re getting remarried. And Dawson’s the best man and Joey’s the maid of honor. lolololol.
Grams decides to be youthful and go on a road trip in the name love and drives hours to find a bus with Jen’s boyfriend who’s going off to football camp and Jack’s friend who he was afraid to kiss because he had never kissed a guy before. And she’s reallly excited to see her granddaughter get some. Also, I am more giddy about Jack finally getting some gay action than anyone else on this show. Ok sans Pacey/Joey. Jocey? Pacey? Oh wait.
OH MY GOD. As a frequent user of the internet and reader of ONTD I have seen this ‘Dawson Crying’ GIF/Meme make its rounds online. When I started watching DC, I wondered when I would be able to watch the GIF in all its glory. And I totally forgot until now. I have a feeling it’s about to happen and I literally paused to type this because I need to prepare myself.
BEFORE THE STORM:
GUYS I GOT TOO CARRIED AWAY W THE SCREEN SHOTS ON MY COMPUTER THAT IT KEPT PAUSING AND I HAD TO WATCH THE SCENE LIKE 3 TIMES AND IT TOTALLY RUINED MY EXPERIENCE BUT OH MY GOD I CANNOT STOP LAUGHING
AFTER:
CAN U EVEN
So Dawson’s butt hurt that Joey’s leaving him for Pacey, and Joey runs to meet Pacey before he sails away. BUT – this bitch had time to change her clothes, despite the fact she literally ran away from the wedding and she’s now running to the dock to stop Pacey from travelling the seas without her all summer ?? AND she’s worried about the lack of clothing. Honestly, you knew you were going there to get on board with him so bring a bag or something. And money.
DOES SHE NOT LOOK LIKE SURI HERE HOLY SMOKES
And then when they were sailing away I felt a sense of familiarity as if I had seen it before, but then upon discussing it with Molly, realized it reminded me of The OC season 1 finale when Seth sails away on his boat to Catalina, which seemed far at the time, but now that I live in LA, realize it’s really not that far. It made it seem like he was sailing to Hawaii by himself.
Side note: per my research, Katie Holmes and Joshua Jackson only dated the first two seasons which would potentially make this awkward for them, but she said they had a “Dawson-Joey type relationship”? Okay. Luckily it’s not weird and their chemistry just oozes from the screen. Remember when Adam and Rachel broke up but still shot a WEDDING SCENE in The OC!? Oops sorry. Spoiler alert?
So what will happen next? Will the True Love-birds make it on their three month adventure still obsessed with each other or will they sink like the Titanic? Is Dawson still crying on his dock?
Muppets Most Wanted comes out today – and nobody is more excited about it than small children grown adults who had weirdly emotional reactions to The Muppets a few years ago and almost started crying when they saw it but couldn’t quite figure out why.
I’m sure a lot of us grew up with the Muppets, whether in the Muppets shows and movies, Sesame Street, Fraggle Rock, or their early SNL performances. And most of us could tell you that a Muppet is like a weird, cool puppet. But after that, things get dicey. Some of the Muppets are very clearly certain animals – Kermit is a frog, Miss Piggy is… I mean obviously she’s a pig, Fozzie is a bear. Some Muppets are vaguely humanoid. Others are probably monsters or something. But think of some of those lesser Muppets. What are they even trying to be? Other than, probably, their best selves?
Here are the most confusing Muppets. I’m writing what I think they are without checking on their official taxonomy, then going back to tell you what Jim Henson intended for these guys to be.
Abby Cadabby
I think it’s trying to be:
So, this is like the Muppet version of a Kardashian, right? Marketing savvy + an elaborate performance of femininity + my worst nightmare? But also sort of a fairy as well?
But it’s actually trying to be:
A “fairy in training.” But it was developed by a team of marketing experts to appeal to little girls after the Disney Princess thing started happening at us. So basically what I said.
Animal
I think it’s trying to be:
I understand that this is like a drummer/monster, but he’s also kind of got a Jerry Garcia, did too much of whatever the PG version of LSD is vibe. I assume the PG version of LSD is those giant plastic pixie sticks.
But it’s actually trying to be:
A “primitive man and crazed drummer” who debuted in the 1975 special The Muppet Show: Sex and Violence, which, in my understanding of the mid-70s, was probably a children’s programme. Muppetteer Frank Oz says that Animal can be summed up in the five words “sex, sleep, food, drums and pain.” So, Animal is the Muppet version of Freud’s id, or of half of the guys in your freshman year dorm. I guess I was off-track with the rated PG thing.
Beaker
I think it’s trying to be:
A human who was stuffed into a scientific beaker during its formative years, like a more science-y and creepier bonsai tree.
But it’s actually trying to be:
A “hapless assistant” and “perpetual victim” who has been shrunk, cloned, and blown up. Nobody mentions the human bonsai thing, but I don’t think I’d be too off-track to hold onto that one as head canon.
Clifford
I think it’s trying to be:
A more neon, more muppety, more alive version of Bob Marley. I’m going off of the dreads. But he’s usually dressed in business casual, so maybe more like an accountant with Marley fantasies and a local festival-quality band. He also sometimes wears Hawaiian shirts, lending further credence to my white-collar professional who moonlights in trying to be cool theory.
But it’s actually trying to be:
A catfish, maybe. It’s never been confirmed. Did not see that coming. Others say “humanoid.” Screw this. Nobody knows what the heck Clifford is trying to be, so maybe what he should try to be is better.
The analysis linked in the photo above says that he is the “sort of black sheep” of the Muppet world, but the line break occurred after the word black and I thought “well, at least he’s not supposed to be a white guy with dreads, because they are the actual worst.” But they weren’t saying he was sort of black, guys. They weren’t.
Janice
I think it’s trying to be:
An actress who you loved 20+ years ago, who is now in at least her late 40s and has messed with her face. [See: Meg Ryan, Janice Dickenson, Melanie Griffith, Suzanne Somers, Kim Novak, … so much of elder Hollywood is turning into Janice from the Muppets that I think they must be taking her picture to the surgeon’s office.]
But it’s actually trying to be:
She is a guitar player / Valley girl . Fun fact: Janice was originally intended to be a male character and was modeled after Mick Jagger – but I wasn’t so wrong, because most of your favorite actresses of 20+ years ago probably had a little Mick Jagger in them, too.
Dr. Bunsen
I think it’s trying to be:
That’s just a melon, right? They just used a melon.
But it’s actually trying to be:
An actual melon. His last name is “Honeydew.” I didn’t know that. So, good job, Muppets, this one looks exactly like what he’s even trying to be.
Dr. Teeth
I think it’s trying to be:
A stoned leprechaun. No question. Possibly also the Muppet version of a Chav.
But it’s actually trying to be:
A humanoid inspired by jazz keyboardist Dr. John. Have you guys seen Dr. John? He’s like a stoned New Orleans jazz man. Trade one cultural stereotype for another, and I pretty much got it. There’s also reportedly an Elton John influence that I can’t believe I missed.
Marvin Suggs
I think it’s trying to be:
He’s a pinhead! Excuse me. A person with microcephaly. Like Pepper in American Horror Story: Asylum.
But it’s actually trying to be:
a “whatnot” Muppet, which is a blank Muppet that you can basically turn into whatever. Not to be confused with an “anything” muppet, which is mostly the same thing (think: Prairie Dawn, Don Music, Guy Smiley, Roosevelt Franklin). Muppetteer Frank Oz called Suggs “demented” and said “I’ve always felt Marvin lived in a scuzzy trailer park with his put-upon wife, and he kept the Muppaphones in a cage and would beat them regularly.”
Mildred Huxtetter
I think it’s trying to be:
An old lady who is also a lizard or snake. Like Queen Elizabeth.
But it’s actually trying to be:
I can’t even deal with how right I am. She’s a beak-nosed Muppet who is a Dame of the Most Excellent Order Of The British Empire.
Nanny
I think it’s trying to be:
Just legs, connected to a voice box, who was dreamed up by the orphaned and abandoned Muppet children of Muppet Babies to cope with their unloved, parent-less existence.
But it’s actually trying to be:
Well, they call her a woman, but that looks like pure guesswork to me.
Scooter (And Skeeter)
I think it’s trying to be:
The bastard child(ren) of Dr. Bunsen and a mango. Obviously, a relative of Sid The Science Kid.
But it’s actually trying to be:
Vaguely humanoid, but “when pressed about his family, he explained that his mother was a parrot but he didn’t know about his father.” That’s funny at first, and becomes more and more bleak and disturbing the more you think about it.
I didn’t know this til I was looking for a link of Sid The Science Kid’s family, but it is a Jim Henson production, so maybe Scooter really did get a family after all.
Snuffleupagus
I think it’s trying to be:
A wooly mammoth who is always sad. Probably because all of the other Wooly Mammoths died and his name is impossible to spell.
But it’s actually trying to be:
a snuffleupagus. It is both his species and his name. Also, he is properly Mr. Snuffleupagus – his Christian name is Aloysius. Snuffy has an entire family, so he’s not so sad because his species is extinct. He’s sad, I guess, because he looks like a cross between an elephant, shag carpeting, and dog poop.
Telly
I think it’s trying to be:
The monster version of Telly Savalas. Their facial structure is very similar.
But it’s actually trying to be:
“Television monster.” He was obsessed with TV, and then the Henson company changed it when they realized that they want kids to be obsessed with TV.
Rejoice, Marshmallows! Today is the day we have been waiting for for seven years. With all the press and cast appearances over the past couple weeks, it’s easy to forget that this isn’t just a regular movie. It’s a groundbreaking movie that would literally never have happened if not for a huge group of fans never came together in the spirit of seeing fictional characters who we once thought were gone forever come back to life (for possibly) one last time.
It took 91,585 contributors, $5,702,153 of hard earned cash and 24 days of filming to create a film which will hopefully provide the kind of closure and fulfillment we never got at the end of the series. I, for one, am confident that creator/executive producer/writer/all around genius Rob Thomas has not gone off the rails and has indeed made a film that will leave VMars believers and non-believers completely entertained and satisfied. That being said, there are a few things to look out for when watching the movie (which you should probs do this weekend) .
To get us fully in the Neptune mood, press play and read on…
The Bitch is Back
Be cool, sodapop, Veronica Mars without the snarkiness is not Veronica Mars at all. Kristen has assured that there is the same amazing wit and sass that is the very foundation of V Mars will have its return on the big screen. In fact, everything we love about her is still in tact 10 years later. Veronica was, and still is, one of the rare female characters on TV who is a headstrong, independent, go-getter who isn’t afraid of, well, anyone.
For the uninitiated, Veronica Mars isn’t just a teen drama. On the surface, it may just look like a UPN/WB/CW show with a pretty blonde girl as the lead, all centered on who she’s going to date next. But just like the lead character itself, the series was so much more than that, dealing with issues like feminism, classism, parental relationships (or sometimes lack thereof), race, and more.
Veronica is a kick ass heroine who is fearless, yet vulnerable, a leader and not afraid to be her true self. We need more of these types of role models for young girls, and I’m glad she’s coming back in full force.
Mars vs. Mars
If there’s one episode to re-watch before seeing the movie, it’s from season one, episode 14, titled Mars vs. Mars. In the ep, there are a few things of note: A) Ben Wyatt/Adam Scott plays teacher Mr. Rooks. B) Blair Waldorf/Leighton Meester plays student Carrie Bishop. C) Carrie accuses Mr. Rooks of getting her pregnant (she gave the baby up for adoption), but Veronica solves the case by figuring out it wasn’t Carrie but rather her BFF Susan Knight who got knocked up by Mr. Rooks.
Why is this important? Apparently this Carrie/Susan/Mr. Rooks situation sets off a chain of events that eventually results in the deaths of BOTH Susan and Carrie. In the movie, Carrie becomes a pop singer, and her boyfriend, Logan Echolls, is the main suspect. Of course he calls the one person who can actually clear his name – ex-girlfriend Veronica.
Blast From The Past
Unfortunately for us, Adam nor Leighton reprised their roles for movie. However, there will be a bunch of returning characters from the series that fans of the show will be more than pleased to see back in Neptune.
For example, we have Vinnie Van Lowe, a rival private investigator played by the hilarious Ken Marino. This is probably one of my favorite scenes with him, and perhaps in the entire series.
Of course we can’t forget the lovable yet quirky Gia Goodman played by a pre-Breaking Bad Krysten Ritter. While she was only in season two, her dad WAS played by a sketchy Steve Guttenberg, so I mean, worth it.
And who could forget, Schmidt himself, Max Greenfield as the charming and smiley Deputy Leo. So I didn’t watch VM while it was on the air, I was one of those fans who binge-watched it all on Netflix. I thought Leo was the cutest and so damn likable, that when I saw him a few months later as this guy, I thought it was insane it was the same actor. Classic Schmidt.
Plus, a bunch of the old high school gang is coming back. It is a 10 year reunion after all. So count in Corny, Madison Sinclair and Principal Van Clemmons to the list, and a few favorites from around town, including public defender Cliff McCormack, Deputy Sacks and *minor spoiler alert* Celeste Kane (aka Lilly and Duncan’s mother).
Oh, and expect some more random cameos from little known celebs like Jamie Lee Curtis, James Franco and Dax Shepard (#1 VMars fan).
You Think You Know Somebody
Speaking of guest stars, Veronica Mars the TV show rivaled series like Arrested Development in scoring surprising cameos, but in reverse, in that they cast all actors who have since become more famous. Like Adam Scott and Leighton Meester, there are a bunch of people who showed up pre-height of fame, Amanda Seyfried (Veronica’s murdered BFF, Lilly Kane, star of Mamma Mia! and Mean Girls), Lucas Grabeel (the “straight” guy from High School Musical) and Dianna Agron (Glee).
But then you also have some more notable names like these guys. (You can find the rest in a previous post here!)
Aaron Paul
Season 1, Episode 11
Before he was a maker of meth, Jesse Pinkman was accused to being a serial killer. So I mean, he has a history of playing troubled characters (RIP Gale).
JTT
Season 1, Episode 18
I was never one of those girls who fawned over JTT. I didn’t get it. Still don’t. Which is why that although I appreciate his rare TV appearance on a UPN show in 2005, I remember his guest starring role mostly because this was the first episode where Veronica and Logan kissed. I mean he played an ATF agent who went undercover as a high school student, so that was cool, I guess. But VERONICA AND LOGAN!! They had an epic kind of love, you know? One that spanned years and continents. Lives ruined, bloodshed, epic.
Rider Strong
Season 3, Episode 2
Good old Shawn Hunter played an asshole classmate of Logan and Wallace in a college class, where they participated in some prison experiment. IDK, basically he made the kid from Freaks and Geeks pee his pants.
Matt Czuchry
Season 3, Episode 4
Logan Huntzberger from my fave Gilmore Girls uses his reporter skills as he pretends to be Logan Echolls’ half-brother just to get a story. Whoa, that got confusing even for me. Again, forget about Matt for a sec because this was a great episode for Jason Dohring who got to show his dramatic side after he found out he still didn’t come close to getting to know his half-brother.
Welcome Wagon
Like it’s been stated multiple times before, this movie was made by Kickstarter backers. Some who were able to give a bit more money earned spots as extras on the movie. Last night, I attended the Veronica Mars panel at the annual PaleyFest here in Los Angeles, which is basically a nearly 2 week television festival, where shows from past and present get together and usually screen something, then there’s a discussion and Q&A with cast and writers after.
horrible picture, but you get the point
Obviously they couldn’t show the movie, and showing an episode wasn’t as exciting, so they premiered a documentary which was made by a former student of Rob Thomas (He used to be a high school teacher. Explains a lot, no?) that gave a behind the scenes look from exactly one year ago, on March 13, 2013, when he launched the Kickstarter campaign, to filming the movie and fan events like at ComicCon. Aptly titled By the Fans, the doc included interviews not only by the cast and producers, but from the fans as well. One thing that was apparent not only in the documentary, but during the panel last night, was that they were totally cognizant and grateful for all 91,000 + fans for giving money just so they could make this movie. As Kristen said, “We’re not flippant about this movie that was made by the fans. I mean that’s fucking radical.”
And it showed when the fans/extras were on set too. The cast ate lunch with them, had actual conversations, took pictures, signed stuff, it looked really cool. My favorite was the story of these two BFFs – long story short, BFF 1 literally was in tears when she found out BFF 2 bought her a Kickstarter reward as an extra for a present. When they were being interviewed on set, Jason Dohring was approaching off camera, and they totally fangirled out but played it cool and were like, ‘Oh it’s Jason Dohring. He’s right there.’ THEN JASON DOHRING CAME OVER and again played it cool, but when he walked away they freaked out and embraced each other and wept. I can’t. All the cast looked so genuine when meeting the backers, it was really nice to see. And hopefully it comes across on screen too.
“The difference between regular fans and Veronica Mars fans is… I only have Veronica Mars fans.” – Ryan Hansen
Weevils Wobble But They Don’t Go Down
Okay, so I know Rob Thomas couldn’t possibly add everything fans are clamoring for in the movie. Mostly because it wouldn’t make sense. But there are a few things I’m hoping will come up in the movie that keen-eyed fans will recognize…
– Sly reference to Steve Guttenberg. Just, Steve Guttenberg. Everything about him, you guys.
– Any sign of Logan’s iconic yellow Jeep would be fantastic. And if Logan and Veronica happen to be making out in it, then that’s fine too.
– Some kind of memorial to Beaver Cassidy (RIP)
– Dialogue about Duncan being in Australia with a kidnapped child. He was one of the most popular kids at Neptune High, there’s no way no one is asking where he is now.
– Anything with Backup the dog.
– Veronica bakes Wallace anything.
Credit Where Credit’s Due
Listen, besides us (the backers) the idea of a movie would never had been kept alive if it weren’t for Rob Thomas, Kristen and the rest of the cast believing in a reincarnation after all these years. And it helps that all the cast likes each other too. I’ve read some bad stories of cast members just not meshing well, and it totally bums me out and ruins the illusion that they like each other on screen. That being said, the VMars cast actually do hang out, go on vacations together, essentially are all in love with each other and I love it.
Ruskie Business
Kristen: “My body wants to be Veronica like it needs oxygen… I’m 100% me in Veronica.”
Jason: “A lot of that emotion was very real for me. I think I was in love with Kristen for the three years we made that show. Like, I truly felt like I would die without her, and I think that’s what underlined everything people loved about them as a couple.”
Well guys, I saved the best for last. LoVe (That’s Logan+Veronica for you non-shippers) is coming back with a vengence in the movie. Like previously mentioned, Logan enlists Veronica’s help to prove he’s not guilty of killing his girlfriend. But I mean, that’s like practically setting it up for them to get together in the movie, right?
While some may argue that Logan is a bad boy who is horrible, and Veronica’s college BF Piz is much better (because you know, he hasn’t like committed crimes or anything), it’s LoVe’s chemistry that is just so off the charts it’s insane not to root for them. But will they make it through the movie?? We’ll just have to find out for ourselves.
The 18th season of America’s guilty pleasure show, The Bachelor, came to a confusing, anti-climatic, aggravating end on Monday, and you can thank this guy for that. A 32 year old born to Venezuelan parents in Ithaca, New York, he went to college in our hometown of Rochester, New York, where he played soccer. He consequently went pro, playing for teams I don’t know the name of and don’t care enough to look up. He has an accent, a young daughter, six-pack abs, and is the very first ‘minority’ Bachelor. So on paper he sounds like a great catch.
Even if you don’t watch this show (which, believe me, I applaud you if you haven’t given in yet), you may have seen on the internetz that this guy made a lot of people angry and has even been called ‘the worst Bachelor in the history of the series’. He had a lot of strikes against him and it only built up throughout the season. But now that he’s finally relieved of his title, here’s a handy guide on how to not be the next ‘worst Bachelor’ for whoever ends up as the lucky guy next.
Rule # Juan (see what I did there) : Be open to the whole ‘Bachelor’ process
Finding your potential wife/husband on national TV is weird. It’s really fucking weird. And let’s face it, the success rate is not that high. Out of the 18 seasons of The Bachelor, only one (Sean Lowe, best Bach ever) married the ‘winner’. And as for Bachelorettes, out of nine seasons, two are married (Trista and Ashley) and one (Desiree) is still engaged. However, with all of these couples, it has worked because the Bachelor/Bachelorette has gone in with an open mind and completely gave in to the process of possibly falling in love. You really can’t go into the show being scared and unwilling to let your guard down, otherwise you’re wasting everyone’s time. Not only are you not letting yourself be open to romance, but it doesn’t really provide for a good television show, production wise. People watch this show to see a love story, even if it doesn’t end in a proposal. The good Bachelor/ettes are totally down for meeting 25+ single people in one night, handing out roses in corny ceremonies, going on group dates, going on two-on-one dates and going on absolutely lame and embarrassing dates.
^In which the men of season 8 try to impress Emily wearing kilts & participating in traditional Irish games. In Croatia. Also, RIP Emily & Jef. ^
Not to mention, you have to be willing to talk about what you’re going through. This is a TELEVISION SHOW. Do NOT expect people to just guess or assume what you’re thinking. You can’t just sit there and stare at the camera, or give a close-ended answer (i.e. use the improv rule of ‘Yes, and’ so there’s always something more to talk about). Throughout the entire season, we never really got a real feeling of how Juan Pablo felt about the girls. Except when he complimented the ladies on their looks or that he ‘really liked’ them. Never once did he say that he was falling in love with any of the girls. I get that if he’s not ready to say he’s in love, then he shouldn’t say it for the sake of it, but JP just flat out refused to talk about his feelings, particularly in the finale.
Example: When host Chris Harrison asked JP straight up whether he was in love with Nikki, he said, “I’m not going to answer that question.”
EXCUSE ME? “I’m not going to answer that question”?! Get the stick up out of your butt and tell everyone how you feel.
Even Nikki, who was interviewed by herself, told Chris that while she said she’s totally in love with him, JP has never said it to her, but that doesn’t matter, because, “It’s not that he doesn’t tell me – it’s like in his actions. I know that he does (love me). I know that he cares about me a lot.” Ay yi yi, Nikki,
Rule # 2: Be careful of what you say/don’t be an idiot
Earlier this season (maybe sometime in ‘Juan-uary’. Really, that’s what ABC called it), a reporter asked JP what he thought about the show having a gay or bisexual bachelor. His response was long winded, but basically he said the phrases, “I don’t think it is a good example for kids to watch that on TV,” and, “There’s this thing about gay people… They’re more pervert in a sense.”
Well… to reiterate, English is not Juan Pablo’s first language. However, he has lived in America most of his life. But of course, JP defended himself by saying, “It was a misuse of a word… It’s been hard because, to me, when I speak English, it happened to me through two months of filming, sometimes the words that I used were not interpreted the way that they should be interpreted, or I used a wrong word. So I will go on my phone, Google and find the right word, and do it that way.”
I’m not fluent or anything, but I’m pretty sure ‘pervert’ in English is ‘pervert’ in Spanish.
Rule #3: Don’t be rude to Chris Harrison
That man is Bachelor Nation royalty. He is the crown jewel of this franchise and you DO NOT mess with him. You are not rude to Chris Harrison, you do not snap at Chris Harrison (clearly a two-namer). But at the live After the Final Rose special on Monday, JP was weirdly condescending to our beloved Chris Harrison and even accused him of cutting him off when he was asking him a question. Being combative and slightly offensive to the heart of The Bachelor is a sure fire way for the entirety of Bachelor Nation to go against you. It’s like ganging up on Oprah or Jennifer Lawrence. You don’t do it.
Rule #4: Don’t sign up for the show if you just want fame
Listen, I realize this is still reality TV. HOWEVER, people can see through that shit. And in turn, it might backfire on your believability, especially as the Bachelor. This show isn’t American Idol, The Voice, Project Runway, any of those type of shows. The main goal isn’t to win a recording contract or a grand prize at the end. It’s not based on material things. It’s based on the ‘winner’ finding a partner and hopefully someone they love and could spend the rest of their life with. It’s based on emotion, so when you’re out there in the world, doing press and seeming utterly ingenuine about the entire experience, it can lead to viewers not tuning in. All I’m saying is all these pix of him with celebs are a little sketchy, no?
Ugh.
Allison Williams LOVES The Bachelor, but is soooo over JP. Preach.
Giving Queen Kerry Washington a rose. In the words of Eli/Rowan Pope: “Run away” Run far away.”
While we’re at it, don’t sign up for endorsement deals while you’re still the Bachelor/Bachelorette. (Side note: SMH at the fact this company in my hometown agreed to do this.)
Rule #5: Be honest, but don’t be a dick
Ah, this is probably the rule that JP broke an ultimately made him one of the most disliked Bachelors ever. Let’s start with Andi. I’m pretty sure JP made Bach history when two girls voluntarily quit the show – and they are both my favorites. In particular, we have Andi, who made it to the final three, and got the infamous ‘Fantasy Suite’. For those who don’t watch the show (kudos for still reading this), the Fantasy Suite allows the Bach and each of his 3 remaining women to spend their first night together without the cameras around. When it came to Andi’s date, apparently it didn’t go so well. She legit called it a “nightmare” and a “disaster”, saying she couldn’t wait to get out of the Fantasy Suite the next morning.
Apparently every time she tried to talk about her feelings or tell stories about herself, JP just turned it back to him, not once asking anything about her or her life. AND he talked about his overnight date with Clare, who I’ll get to in a second. Andi said,”There’s a difference between being honest and being an asshole… I hope he did not think that went well. I really hope he did not think that that was a good date.” Cut to: Juan Pablo telling Chris Harrison the date went amazing. The editing on this show, I tell ya. So good.
So after that, Andi obvs decided to leave, and her confrontation with JP is so odd. Talking to him is like talking to a brick wall. JP keeps talking about being honest, but his honesty comes off as rude and as Andi said, he has no filter. Oh another rule: know that it’s never just “okay”.
Andi aside (PS, she’s the next Bachelorette, and she’s going to be great. I can feel it), we have Clare. Clare turned out to be the runner-up, which isn’t surprising since she and JP had such a ‘connection’ since the first episode. Cast in point, the time they were in Vietnam and Clare snuck out of her hotel to be with JP, and the two did something in the ocean that may or may not have been sex? No one knows because it wasn’t on camera. What we do know is that JP decided to bring it up ON camera, and basically proceeded to slut-shame Clare, saying he regretted it and it was a mistake and he was ashamed for his daughter to see him on his late-night hookup.
AND THEN, on their final date, they had a moment to themselves without the cameras or mics on yet AGAIN, and JP said something to Clare, which she refused to say on the record, but described it as “something that no woman wants to hear. It was insulting, it was offensive and it just made me feel awful.” Yikes. Remember kids, just because it’s off-camera doesn’t mean it won’t go on-camera. And Clare even asked him straight up about their relationship and he was all ‘You’re special to me’ and ‘I can see us having babies’ etc. Then like 2 days later he dumped her.
She stuck to her guns in the end, and told him she would never want her kids to have a father like him, and after she walked away, he said, “Oooh, I’m glad I didn’t pick her. Oof.”
Rule #6: ‘Don’t slap the hand that feeds you’
Catherine, Sean’s new wife and one of my faves, was at the finale with some other Bach alums, and just like the rest of the country, trying to make sense of everything that was happening. One thing was clear was that JP was seemingly throwing the show, ABC, everyone involved except for Nikki under the bus. Catherine said, ‘Don’t slap the hand that feeds you’, a phrase we all know, but Chris Harrison literally had to explain what it meant to JP, because, you know, English isn’t is first language.
Before Catherine’s on point insight, Chris Harrison, who had been teasing a big surprise all night, said to JP, “One of our network executives said that you had a big surprise for tonight,” to which he replied, “Do I have a big surprise? I don’t. This is my secret. I’m here, happy, with Nikki. We’re very happy, both of us. And we’re going to start a relationship from today on.”
… Um, that was definitely not what the surprise was. Chris Harrison later told Entertainment Tonight that after the final rose ceremony in St. Lucia where he picked Nikki, JP told an ABC exec that he would have a ‘big surprise’ on the ATFR, which they expected to be a proposal. I mean resident jeweller Neil Lane was even there, but ABC peeps are reportedly holding on to the ring until JP wants to propose to Nikki. Except by the looks of it, he wants nothing to do with ABC (or Chris Harrison) ever again. There are rumors that JP cancelled their post-show press tour and was butt hurt he wasn’t chosen to be a contestant on Dancing with the Stars (like his predecessor Sean), and he was mad about that? But I don’t think that’s true. I think he’s just an ungrateful douchebag. On Tuesday, he posted this video/song dedicated to Nikki with the caption:
Thanks for these
INTERESTING 4 months of HIDING,
now that the CHARACTER of ‘The Bachelor’
is OVER, it is time for US to live our life for REAL.
Te ADORO
Juan Pablo
Did I mention he has a weird thing with capitalizing random words? Also, Te ADORO means ‘I love you’ right? He can say it on a YouTube video, but not on national television?
Chris Harrison said that after the final interview with JP and Nikki at the ATFR special, JP asked Chris, “Are we done?” Chris Harrison said yes, and JP grabbed Nikki’s hand and walked out the door with total silence from the live studio audience. And that is how we want to say our final adios to you too.
Buzzfeed, Tumblr, and your Facebook friends won’t let you forget it, and neither will we: 90s kids are adults now, and we’re all still really, really passionate about the 90s. Can you blame us? The 90s were a great time for kids’ culture. With so many Baby Boomers having children from the late 70s to the mid-90s, there were a lot of us growing up then. The economy hadn’t tanked yet, and 911 was still just an emergency phone number. Nickelodeon was at the forefront of it all, promoting a “pro-kid” culture and presenting kids as cooler and smarter than adults. If people want to blame Millenials for forming a mass internet-culture that older folks can’t penetrate, it all started with Nickelodeon and its ‘us against them’ attitudes.
Today’s TV networks aren’t stupid. They know what Millenials want. That’s why, for every beloved Nickelodeon show from our youth, there is an adult equivalent on the air right now:
Are You Afraid Of The Dark = American Horror Story
Are You Afraid Of The Dark: From the second you heard those creaky swings and eerie theme music, you knew you were in for a scare. The midnight society gathered every week to tell stories and throw some sort of weird sand into a camp fire, and we were right there with them. I watched every week as a five-year-old, even turning off the lights for an extra scare. We liked this show because it didn’t underestimate kids. There were real ghosts, vampires, and murders in Are You Afraid of the Dark – it wasn’t that weak-sauce kid stuff where the creaking in the attic was just a leaky pipe, or the ‘ghost’ was just a beekeeper in a bonnet (I’m looking at you, The Adventures Of Mary Kate And Ashley). If you didn’t love the story one week, you’d just wait until the next Saturday when you’d get a whole new plotline to scare the pants off of you and make you ask your mom if she will let you sleep with the hall light on. That’s right – a children’s horror anthology series. Can you really blame us for missing the 90s?
American Horror Story: Like Are You Afraid Of The Dark, American Horror Story is a spooky anthology. However, to account for adult attention spans, each season tells a different story, instead of each episode. This show touches on all aspects of the horror film genre – psycho killers, ghosts, aliens, nuns, evil doctors, Anne Frank, witches, a pinhead, The Black Dahlia … it’s like a winning hand of Apples To Apples.
An aside: I just finished watching Season 2 of AHS. Somebody told me to start with that one because Coven isn’t on Netflix yet, and Season 1 would scare me more. Now that I’m done, I have to wonder – if Asylum was this freaky, what the hell could possibly happen in Murder House? Don’t worry, I’m starting it this week, because I’m an adult now and I’m in charge of my own hall light.
Clarissa Explains It All = Girls + The New Girl
Clarissa Explains It All:A young woman with ambitions of being a journalist lives in a cooler bedroom than you can imagine having. She is supported by her academic parents. She has constant fallings-out with her brother Ferguson, and the undying support of her buddy Sam. She dresses like a cool hobo. Lots of tights. Clarissa has a creative solution to every problem and gets into a lot of scrapes because she sort of doesn’t think everything through.
Girls: A young woman with ambitions of being a writer lives in a cooler apartment than you can imagine having. She is supported by her academic parents. She has constant fallings out with her friends, yet somehow retains their constant support. She dresses like a cool hobo.
The New Girl: It’s almost like Jess Day and Hannah Horvath are two different versions of how Clarissa could have turned out. Jess and Clarissa have a lot in common. The first word you’d use to describe them is “quirky.” They have wacky clothes. They have a cool home. And – unlike Hannah Horvath – they both have fun, sunny attitudes toward life. So, if Clarissa went to college, became an el-ed major, and held onto her obsession with tights, you have Jess. If Clarissa decided to become a hipster in college, started writing for the school literary mag and reading a lot of McSweeney’s, and went to slightly seedier college parties, she graduated and became Hannah.
Salute Your Shorts = Community
Salute Your Shorts:A group of teens are thrown together for summer camp, and form all of the bonds and rivalries that you’d expect in that kind of close situation. They work both with and against the camp’s administration (counselor Ugg) and truly become a community of their own. There are even themed genre episodes – Zeke The Plumber, everyone? The characters are surprisingly well-developed for a kids’ show, with the jock, nerd, and popular girl presented as being complex people instead of just stereotypes.
Community: A group of adults are thrown together in community college, and through forming a study group, they become a… well, community of their own as well. Like in Salute Your Shorts, there is a love for Greendale Community College, but just like the kids at Camp Anawanna, they also have to work against it sometimes. I don’t think I even need to tell you about the genre episodes. Character development is a big deal on this show, too, and the former athlete and the brainy liberal arts girl aren’t just two-dimensional.
Hey Dude = Brooklyn Nine Nine
Hey Dude: Somehow, a bunch of teenagers are working at a Dude Ranch, because… why not, I suppose? It filled pretty much the exact same niche as Salute Your Shorts, except these kids had JOBS and RESPONSIBILITIES and HORSES. Never underestimate the pull of horses for tween girl viewers.
Brooklyn Nine Nine:This is one sitcom you should be watching if you aren’t already. Equal parts buddy cop (with multiple pairs of cop-buddies), workplace comedy, police procedural (er… kind of) – but with really clever writing an an awesome cast. Like Hey Dude, this is a funny ensemble show that actually shows people doing their jobs. Every kid who grew up watching Salute Your Shorts thinking “ugh, somebody get those irresponsible kids some stalls to muck or cows to lasso” should watch Brooklyn Nine Nine, a workplace show where people actually work.
The Adventures Of Pete And Pete = Parks And Recreation
The Adventures Of Pete And Pete: This show is probably the reason our generation has been into quirky indie comedies since we were in high school. This small-town sitcom is a bit absurd, and centers around two brothers named – you guessed it – Pete and Pete. The show was so matter-of-fact about the weird goings-on of the town that the place became a character unto itself, and the audience accepted all of its weird quirks at face value.
Fun Fact: The Wellsville of Pete and Pete is apparently supposed to be Wellsville, NY. I live about 100 miles from there and have passed through on plenty of trips, and honestly, apart from an annual Balloon Rally it’s not that interesting.
Parks and Recreation: If you grew up loving slightly offbeat comedies about life in a more-than-slightly-offbeat town, you may as well watch Parks as an adult. It’s no secret that we’re big fans of this show around here, but we’ve never stopped to consider that our childhood watching Pete and Pete primed us for this small-town comedy about a group of unusual personalities. Like our favorite redheaded brothers, the folks in Pawnee face situations that are a touch more surreal than you’d see in real life, but the show somehow manages to be more true-to-life than a lot of more ‘realistic’ comedies.
The Secret World Of Alex Mack = Orphan Black
The Secret World Of Alex Mack:How good was this show? So good, right? Alex Mack was a junior high student who was hit with a truck from a chemical plant, and she developed special powers like being able into morph into a puddle of what looked like mercury, moving objects with her mind, and conducting some sort of electrical charge. Alex, with the (sometimes grudging) help of her brainy sister Annie, had to keep her powers on the down low so the folks at the chemical plant wouldn’t find out about her and … well, I’m not sure if we knew what they would do. Experiments, probably.
Orphan Black:Here’s another show about a young ladies who are scientific freaks because of circumstances beyond their control (they’re clones). Once again, they have to escape the clutches of the sketchy Dyad Institute, and creepy Dr. Leekie, who are already collecting samples and monitoring the clones against their will. Like Alex Mack, Orphan Black deals with the ethics of scientific progress. No, really – a major issue ahead is going to be the copyright of human DNA.
Space Cases = Battlestar Gallactica
Space Cases: It’s hard, guys. It’s hard walking around under the burden of being the only person alive who remembers the show Space Cases. It was a short-lived children’s sci-fi show set in space. I think this one is due for a re-watch, if only to revel in the low-budget 90s-ness of it all. Some of the props were evidently things like CDs glued together, and the game Lights Out pasted to the wall. See, things like this are why the Montreal TV industry – and children’s cable sci fi shows – never really took off.
Battlestar Gallactica – I’m positive that this is a sci-fi show with space ships, the future, and I’m pretty sure aliens. Okay, you caught me. I’ve never seen it. But there haven’t been too many outer space-based sci fi shows in recent years, and this is the closest one I could find in the near past. I suppose Stargate Atlantis is another option.
Noozles = Doctor Who
Noozles: According to Wikipedia, this show is 1000% more confusing and screwed-up than I remember it being. But basically, it’s like this: Noozles were adorable koala bears, but only certain people could know that they were actually aliens!
Doctor Who:Doctor Who is an adorable British man, but only certain people can know that he’s actually an alien!
The Mystery Files Of Shelby Woo = Scandal
The Mystery Files of Shelby Woo: Shelby Woo was a ridiculously talented teen who, with the help of a mid-90s PC and her crew of friends, solved mysteries and fought crime. As a mere teenager, Shelby wasn’t officially part of the police department, but we all know that Shelby Woo was the law.
Scandal:Children who grew up without questioning how it was possible to solve mysteries in a short span of time with the help of just an internet connection and a rag-tag crack team of experts – without wondering why the proper law enforcement didn’t just deal with crime itself instead of allowing a non-officer to take the reins — well, those children probably grew up to watch Scandal. Like Shelby Woo, Olivia Pope is able to fix anything – even stuff that technically, we’re pretty sure somebody else should be handling.
Nick News With Linda Ellerbee = 20/20
We love you, Linda. We don’t care what Dawson Leery says.
Nick News:This was a kids’ news magazine which tried to deliver the “who, what, where, when, why and how” of the age to kids whose other main source of news was that Scholastic Weekly Reader that you’d get on Friday afternoons when your teacher had basically given up for the week. To be quite honest, Nick News did an admirable job of it, breaking down issues like presidential elections, the Gulf War, racism, and global warming down to a nine-year-old’s level without condescending. In fact, you can probably thank Nick News, in part, for the environmental “go green” push that’s sweeping the nation. Older adults were just getting into these issues after that Al Gore powerpoint, but us 90s kids grew up hearing about pollution and climate change from one Ms. Linda Ellerbee.
20/20: Well, this one also is able to break news and information down to a nine-year-old’s level. We may have mentioned this before, but both of us watched way more than a normal amount of 20/20 as kids. As a fourth-grader, I stayed up until 11 on Fridays because 20/20 was on at 10. At least these days, 20/20 is light on the news, heavy on the magazine, with a bunch of tiny segments simplifying stories as much as possible. Actually, maybe Nick News was better – at least they didn’t do monthly stories about “places you won’t believe our crew found a lot of germs!”
All That = Saturday Night Live
Okay, this isn’t quite fair. All That was almost certainly intended to be a kids’ version of SNL, so there shouldn’t be any surprise here. But when you consider that today’s 20-somethings grew up watching Kenan Thompson on All That, it is sort of remarkable that we’re watching the same guy on the grown-up version of the show.
I may have been under-supervised as a kid, but I watched a lot of real SNL in the 90s (especially the older stuff), and was struck by how very not funny All That was in comparison. That Lori Beth Denberg sure could deliver the fake news, though.
No that’s not a typo, we really mean 2013. Since it’s technically still Oscars month, we decided to keep the celebration going, with our picks for the best songs from all the *Oscar-eligible* movies from last year.
From Baz Luhrman’s Great Gatsby soundtrack to pretty much all of Llewyn Davis, there were a lot of great tunes on the big screen and these are just a few of ours. Did we miss any of your faves? Let us know below!
Click here to listen to the entire list (most of the songs) on Spotify!
Traci’s Picks
Love is an Open Door by Kristen Bell & Santino Fontana – Frozen
You didn’t think we’d make a list of the best movie songs WITHOUT a song from Frozen, did you? I personally think Let It Go is a fine song, but it’s not my favorite from the whole bunch. I basically switch between this song and For the First Time in Forever when pretending I’m Kristen Bell in my car and belting out these songs. Don’t pretend you don’t too. I’M 28 YEARS OLD, FOLKS.
Over The Love by Florence + The Machine – The Great Gatsby
We mentioned this briefly during the Oscars Live Blog, but we loved The Great Gatsby. Haters to the left. One of the best things about a Baz Luhrman film is that the music will always be top notch. This is no different. One of my favorite tracks from the soundtrack is Florence + The Machine (expect more Gatsby on this list). It’s a haunting song, like more Florence songs, but there’s an elegance to it, much like Gatsby. And I mean it has the words ‘green light’ in it. Come on! Slash Florence make new music kthxbye.
Bad Girls by M.I.A. – The Bling Ring
Perhaps this is an unpopular opinion, but I really liked The Bling Ring. It showed everything that’s wrong with kids (and adults)’ obsession with celebrities and how it can be taken to the extreme. It was like a 2 hour psychology project in film form. This song is perfect for the look and tone of Sofia Coppola’s film, and it always remind me of Emma Watson saying:
Silhouettes by Of Monsters and Men – Catching Fire
While I definitely loved Catching Fire better than The Hunger Games, film wise, I can easily say the first soundtrack was much better than the second. But, this song is an exception – it perfectly encapsuslates Katniss and Peeta’s relationship both in the Games and life outside of it, and Of Monsters and Men does a great job of giving the song an eerie feeling that I assume one would get if ever faced in the Capitol. Especially with President Snow.
Ride Like the Wind by Robin Thicke featuring Ron Burgundy – Anchorman 2: The Legend Continues
When the first Anchorman came out, it was the summer before I was a freshman in college, and I remember thinking it was the funniest movie I had ever seen in my life. I would quote it constantly and listen to Afternoon Delight as like a pasttime. But a lot as changed since 2004. I’d like to think my humor has changed slightly – but I was delightfully surprised when Anchorman 2 came out and while the jokes were much different, the tone was the same and I still couldn’t stop laughing. My face literally hurt afterwards. In saying this, not only do I genuinely like this ‘yacht rock’ track originally by Christopher Cross, but the interjections from Ron are on point. It’s the perfect thing to listen to if you need to brighten your day.
***Special shout out to the best ‘musical moment’ from a movie in 2013 – James Franco & the girls in Spring Breakers. If you’ve seen the movie, you know exactly what scene I’m talking about. If you haven’t, I suggest you should try giving the movie a shot, and this might seem kind of weird and out of place, but it totally works in the movie. Here they are singing Britney Spears’ Everytime.***
Molly’s Picks
Please Mr. Kennedy by Justin Timberlake – Inside Llewyn Davis
I don’t know how this wasn’t nominated for Best Original Song, but I’m sure the Cohen Brothers will find consolation that it made the Cookies + Sangria playlist of the month. This is a satire (well… maybe it feels a bit more like pastiche?) of 60s protest songs, begging President Kennedy not to “shoot me into outer space,” and it is awesome.
100$ Bill by Jay-Z – The Great Gatsby
The Great Gatsby and Frozen were my favorite soundtracks of the year, without a doubt. I love how a lot of the tracks feature jazz horns or riffs from classic old-school songs, but there’s a lot of modern hip hop in there too. Luhrmann’s interpretations are more about the spirit of the material and not the letter of it. Were they listening to Jay-Z in the 20s? … Okay, actually… maybe.
But more importantly, the flappers and sheiks at Jay Gatsby’s crazy parties weren’t listening to the establishment’s music on their Victrola, they were listening to the new and scandalous stuff. Rap and electro are to the 2000s as jazz was to the 1920s. I want to put the whole soundtrack on here, but let’s leave it at this track.
Roll Jordan Roll by John Legend – 12 Years A Slave
12 Years A Slave was scored by Hans Zimmer, but you’d be forgiven for thinking it was a T-Bone Burnett work when you listen to this reworked spiritual. Music is central in 12 Years A Slave, both because of Northrup’s violin skills and the use of music in slave life. Roll Jordan Roll occurs in a pivotal moment in the film, and this great John Legend version was released on the soundtrack – feeling a bit more like one of the Civil Rights-era reinterpretations of classic spirituals. Sad and surprising coincidence: Like Solomon Northrup, some of Legend’s ancestors were also free Northerners who were kidnapped into slavery.
Also, if you are a combination history nerd-music nerd, you should check out this interview with Nicholas Britell, who mined original sources to create music for the film that sounded true to the time period.
Happy by Pharrell Williams – Despicable Me 2
Yes, this song is everywhere. But it’s so infectiously, well, happy. Especially after the all-star dance party to this tune at the Oscars – and my many no-star dance parties to this song with one of my favorite three-year-olds – I can’t help but smile when I hear this.
If I Needed You by The Broken Circle Breakdown Bluegrass Band – The Broken Circle Breakdown
The Belgian bluegrass scene? Yes, it’s real. Just give this movie and soundtrack a shot – it’s the best heartbreaking movie about music since Once. But just a warning: it’s a beautiful film, but very, very sad. If you’re not in a good mental place for that, at least listen to the soundtrack, full of re-imagined Bluegrass and country standards, like this song better known as sung by Townes van Zandt and Emmylou Harris.
For those of you just tuning in to this blog, I write about celebrities for a living. I literally get paid to write news stories about celebrities, movies, music, and basically anything to do with entertainment. But prior to this position, I used to exclusively write about reality TV. My days were filled with picking sides between the Housewives, deciphering Honey Boo Boo’s ramblings, and actually Keeping Up with the Kardashians.
As you probably know, Dancing with the Stars is one of the biggest reality TV shows in America, so I was basically forced to watch it (and all the other shows for that matter). The first couple of seasons I surprisingly found myself getting really into it. Then last season I really couldn’t be bothered and lost interest completely. I’m writing this to say I will not be keeping up with it this season, but I will be writing this post because this year’s crop of ‘celebrities’ is worth talking about (and possibly throwing shade at). Here are the 12 celebrities and their pro partners that will be taking the dance floor starting March 17th, and here is the official completely unofficial ranking of how they’ll fare as ballroom hoofers, from worst to best, last to first.
UPDATE: JUST FOUND OUT THE PARTNERS MIGHT SWITCH PER AUDIENCE VOTE, SO THIS ENTIRE LIST MIGHT BE INVALID. WHATEVER. DEREK HOUGH PROBS GONNA WIN AGAIN ANYWAYS.
Billy Dee Williams (Actor) with Emma Slater
You may know him as Lando Calrissian from Star Wars. You may also know him as the Colt 45 guy. Or you could be me and know him from ‘those blaxploitation movies with Diana Ross’. Either way, you will probably know him as the guy who didn’t do too well on Dancing with the Stars. Slash take a shot of Tom Bergeron says, “From Star Wars to Dancing with the STARS, here is Billy Dee Williams!”
Diana Nyad (Long-Distance Swimmer) with Henry Byalikov
Remember that woman who swam from Havana to Florida? This is her. So basically she doesn’t give up on anything and probably has really strong legs and arms. But one of things you need to know (I guess not really NEED to know) about DWTS is that it’s a fan-driven show, in that people vote for whoever they are fans of, not necessarily who the best dancer is. I’m assuming Diana doesn’t have a ‘strong fan-base’ and her partner isn’t one of the more beloved pro dancers, so I don’t think she’s gonna race to the finish if you get my drift.
Sean Avery (Former NHL player) with Karina Smirnoff
It’s worth noting that Sean Avery is the guy on the left. The one on the right is clearly Bravo’s darling, Andy Cohen. They’re on vacation together somewhere exotic in this pic, and there were rumors they are actually engaged. But Sean’s not gay… Anyways, athletes either do really well (like winners Emmitt Smith, Apolo Anton Ohno, Shawn Johnson, etc.) or they can do really bad (Keyshawn Johnson, last place). Hockey is a little different than those football pros who excel at the dancing, so I’m not really sure what to expect from him. I will say that he has one of the show’s fave dancers, Katrina Smirnoff, as his partner, so he has a better chance of staying in longer than usual.
NeNe Leakes (Housewife/Actress) with Tony Dovolani
If she’s as good as throwing shade and being sassy as she is a dancer, NeNe might actually go far. But I’m leaning towards no. Love you, but girl, bye.
Drew Carey (Actor/The Price Is Right Host) with Cheryl Burke
I am aware this picture is old due to his overweight status, but come on, why is there a cat wearing sunglasses on a director’s chair? Anyways, I’m basing Drew’s ranking on the fact that he is the token comedian of the season. Comedians do better than you expect them to, mainly because they are underdogs and have a fan base. Take D.L. Hughley and Bill Engvall, who placed ninth and fourth, respectively. Not to mention Drew hosts a daytime institution which the women who probably watch DWTS view in the morning right before their midday naps.
Cody Simpson (Singer) with Witney Carson
Ah, the Australian Justin Bieber. I’ve never actually heard or seen him before, so I have no idea if he dances like JB. But he’s young and cute, so that certainly puts him above Diana Nyad. Also shoutout to new cast member Witney Carson, who is a So You Think You Can Dance alum who was in the DWTS Troupe for the past couple years and moved up!
James Maslow (Singer/Actor in Big Time Rush) with Peta Murgatroyd
Again, I’ve never seen Big Time Rush perform, but I’m pretty sure being in a boy band requires some dancing (unless you’re One Direction). He already has a big teenage girl fan base who will vote their fingers off and Peta is a good enough choreographer to get them ahead.
Candace Cameron-Bure (Actress/DJ) with Mark Ballas
Deej. DEEJ!! I have no idea if she can dance or even dance well (after all, it WAS Stephanie who was the dancer of the family) but I am rooting for her to go all the way. Can you just see Kimmy and Steve cheering her on in the front row?!
Danica McKellar (Actress/Mathematician) with Val Chmerkovskiy
Winnie Cooper. The ultimate girl next door who is now campaigning for your votes. I also have no idea if she can dance, but I have a feeling she can. She’s smart (went to UCLA for math) so anyone who’s young-ish and smart are quick to learn these difficult dances.
Charlie White (Gold Medalist in Ice Dancing) with Sharna Burgess
You saw him either win gold in Sochi, or in those memes where he and Meryl Davis were compared to Disney royal couples. Does this couple have an advantage over the others because they’re professional ice DANCERS? Probably. Is it a big advantage? No. They dance on ice, it’s very different than solid ground. What will actually help this couple is the fact they each know how to partner really well. But Meryl & Charlie have been partners for 17 years, so it will be interesting to see how they’ll do with someone new.
Meryl Davis (Gold Medalist in Ice Dancing) with Maksim Chmerkovskiy
Basically everything I said above. I’m only giving Meryl the edge because she’s the girl. Sexist? Whatevs. Did you know Charlie and Meryl enlisted Derek to help them with their Olympics routines? Yeah. And she’s with the returning Maks, who is like, the ‘Ukrainian hunk’ of the show, and he’s definitely going to give Derek a run for his money.
Amy Purdy (Paraolympic Snowboarder and actress) with Derek Hough
I think it’s going to be a toss up between Charlie, Meryl and Amy in the finale. People love a good underdog story. And Amy is a double amputee, snowboarder and an actress. She will be doing the Quickstep on two fake legs, how can you not root for that? Plus she’s paired with DWTS darling Derek Hough, who has won this thing five times, and even won an Emmy for his choreo. AND people loooove Derek. They will vote for him and him alone, where as not as many people will just vote for Henry or even the fairly new Witney. Watch out – Derek just might get his six-peat.
Well, we’ve reached the halfway point in the TV season, and it’s when networks usually introduce new shows to replace the sucky ones they cancelled. One of the standout shows from this bunch of mid-season replacements is NBC’s About a Boy.
The show premiered after the Olympics, which is a tactic that NBC has devised before – they did it with Go On last year, which unfortunately was cancelled after one season. To prevent About a Boy receiving the same fate, how about we all give this show a try and keep it on the air for just a little longer.
Storyline
“Successful songwriter and bachelor Will Freeman lives a carefree life as the “ultimate man-child”. His perfect world is turned upside down when single mom Fiona and her 11-year-old son Marcus move in next door.” It’s also worth noting that if this title sounds familiar, it’s because it was based on the 2002 movie with Hugh Grant, which was based on the 1998 novel by Nick Hornby.
Reasons Why You Should Watch
Jason Katims
Damnit Katims, you did it again. Producer/Writer/Director extraordinaire, Jason has created some of the best (and also some of my favorite) shows over the past few years, including Friday Night Lights and Parenthood. Jason has a way of creating characters you care deeply about, scenarios that could actually happen in real-life, moments of hilarity and of course moments of non-stop crying. That’s what makes each of his shows so special there’s a quality that you can feel from the pilot – it has heart. That’s surprisingly hard to come by in television these days, but thanks to Katims, I can count on his shows to make me feel all warm and fuzzy inside while still wiping away tears from my face. About a Boy is no different. Will and Marcus form a quick bond throughout the 22 minute pilot, but you can tell that they’re changing each others’ lives in such a short amount of time already. Whether you’re an 11 year old kid who’s new in town or a loser of a guy in his 30s, the show seeks to prove that your life can change when you least expect it, when you don’t think you want it to and in the unlikeliest of places – but you wouldn’t want it any other way.
The Boy
Benjamin Stockham plays young Marcus, a delightful young boy who, along with his mom played by Minnie Driver, move to San Francisco right next door to Will. Minnie’s a vegan hippie sort and Will, a meat-eater, is just trying to fit in at school. But le tme tell you, this kid’s acting and comedic timing is off the chain. He’s only 13 years old, but could easily be 40 if you told me he was. He’s not one of those annoying kids you see on TV (or in real life), he’s someone you want to cheer for and possibly hug whenever you get a chance. I also had to look up his past credits and guess what – he was in the gone-too-soon comedy, 1600 Penn alongside Josh Gag, Bill Pullman and Jenna Elfman. And he was great it that too, but 10 times better in this.
Potential guest stars and crossovers
Parenthood is where this whole crossover thing took it to the next level. Katims was all, ‘if it ain’t broke, don’t fix it and hire the same actors from my Emmy award-winning show to be on my new show.’ So you know, he made his calls and throughout the course of all the five seasons, FNL stars like Minka Kelly, Michael B. Jordan, Matt Lauria, Jurnee Smollett and Derek Phillips have all been on the show (not to mention Jesse Plemmons’ return as Landry on this FNL/Parenthood crossover that blew my mind). That being said, it’s inevitable to have FNL and/or Parenthood folks on About a Boy. Case in point: it has already been announced that Adrienne Palicki (good old Tyra on FNL) will have an arc on the show as one of Will’s love interests. Plus, David Walton (Will) has already been in a recent episode of Parenthood as one of Crosby’s (Dax Shepard) poker buddies. It helps that both shows take place in the bay area, because Crosby’s going to be in an ep of About a Boy too. TV nerds celebrate the crossover magic!
No book, No movie, no problem
As I previously mentioned, About a Boy is based on a book which was based on a movie. Now if anyone’s up for the task of adapting something that’s already been adapted before, it’s Jason Katims. He did it with both FNL and Parenthood, but managed to keep the story going on season after season. In the pilot of About a Boy, fans familiar with the book and movie will find it similar to what they already know about the story. Will and Fiona (Minnie Driver) immediately hate each other, he has a lot of women coming in and out of his boudoir, and there’s even a big talent show featuring Marcus at the end. But that’s it. You don’t need to have seen the movie or read the book in order to enjoy the show. I’ve only seen the movie and I saw it around the time it first came out, so I clearly have no recollection of anything that happened, besides the fact that Hugh Grant befriended Nicholas Hoult aka Mr. Jennifer Lawrence. So no need to fret if you’re unfamiliar. You’ll fall in love with these characters and will be genuinely interested in their lives as the series goes on, and you’ll completely forget it was based on something else in the first place.
Happy post-Oscar day! The 2014 Academy Awards were sort of amazing in that almost everyone who we all thought would win actually won. The winners were deserved and everyone looked amazing! So, for those of us who got 4-5 hours of sleep because of this fiasco asking if last night was really worth it, I think it was. Here are our picks for Best and Worst dressed, because we couldn’t each pick Lupita Nyong’o five times for Best Dressed and Liza Minnelli five times for Worst Dressed. But that doesn’t mean we didn’t want to!
Traci’s Picks
Best Dressed
Lupita Nyong’o in Prada
Ever since she showed up lookin FIERCE at the Golden Globes with the red cape situation, all eyes have been on Lupita on the red carpet. Somehow, she never disappoints. This particular dress is Prada, and she said she picked it because it reminded her of Nairobi, her hometown in Kenya. It already has sentimental value to it, so you can’t go wrong. And whoever her stylist is, you deserve your own Oscar, because I almost teared up seeing her on the red carpet for the first time at the Academy Awards. Maybe it’s because I’m overly emotional and cry at anything, but you know how some actresses just have a dress that makes it look like they’re going to win that night? It was JLaw’s Dior cloud dress from last year, Julia Roberts’ black and white Valentino, Halle Berry’s Elie Saab gown in ’02, these are iconic dresses that you remember forever. And we’ll aways remember Lupita, not only for her excellent acting, but her excellent style choices, especially the ones that land her in the record books.
Kate Hudson In Atelier Versace
Speaking of fierce capes – well this isn’t really a cape, it’s more of a fierce shawl. Kate took it off when she presented (right?) but I so prefer this look over sans shawl. She looks so old school Hollywood glam, and what better place to do it at the Oscars?!
Charlize Theron in Dior
Glam bam thank you ma’am. I mean Charlize is already beautiful but this silhouette gown? Beyond.
Naomi Watts in Calvin Klein
Apparently the night’s theme was ‘Frozen’ in multiple ways. Of course Frozen won twice but on the red carpet, white and light colors were in. But Naomi Watts did it best. I love love love everything about this: the gown, the Bulgari jewels, the two-toned clutch. To die. Judging by the close up pix, I feel like it would look even more stunning in person.
Portia de Rossi In Naeem Khan
Whoooaaaa Portia! This screams: my wife is hosting the Oscars and I’m so proud and sexy so haters to the left. I’ve never really considered Portia an expert in style per se, so I guess that makes this look all the more amazing. Again, she’s in the white/off white ‘color’ of the night, and the detail in the dress is EXQUISITE (sorry for the douchebaggery). I had a hard time not staring at the patterns because it’s just ridiculous.
Honorable Mention: Calista Flockhart in Andrew Gn. As the Plus one to hubs Harrison, it was the perfect dress to stand out yet make sure it wasn’t all about her. Just like Naomi, I bet this dress looked stunning up close.
Worst Dressed
Liza Minnelli in Vintage Halston
Oh dear. This picture pretty much sums up Liza’s Oscars night.
Lady Gaga in Atelier Versace Couture
My frustration with Gaga is that I like her. I think she has a great voice, I appreciate she goes balls to the wall with her creativity, even if it’s super weird and slightly scary, but the bottom line is she’s talented and that’s why she deserved all the attention, fame, adoration, etc. However, I also know she’s a pretty girl. She is legit wearing a weave here, and even though this is a very conservative outfit for Gaga, it doesn’t really match her personality or style.
Anne Hathaway in Gucci
No. Last year, no. After party last year, no too. This year’s after party – girl you should’ve worn this gown in 2013 AND 2014.
Elsa Pataky In Elie Saab
Mrs. Chris Hemsworth is pregnant with twins, which explains the protruding belly. But lest us all take a page out of Kerry Washington’s pregnancy style bible and remember that while you should embrace your new curves, you shouldn’t flaunt them to excess.
Pharrell in Lanvin
Imma be real with you. I didn’t think there were a lot of horrible dresses this year. Many were amazing and many were meh. Which is why Pharrell is on here. I get that he’s a superstar musician and can do whatever da fuq he wants, but these shorts are more Grammys style. Honestly, I’d rather have you wear the hat all night, because that’s your thing.
Molly’s Picks
Best Dressed
Lupita Nyong’o in Prada
Everyone looked so wonderful last night that there’s no need for repeats on our Best Dressed lists – but I HAD to talk about Lupita Nyong’o. Lupita actually helped design this dress, inspired by champagne bubbles and Nairobi. So, whatever it is you’re best at in life, I’m pretty sure Lupita Nyong’o could do it better and more beautifully than you. It must have been a lot of pressure being expected to be the best dressed of the night, but this was better than I could have even imagined. As a fellow bony-chested lady, I cannot tell you how delighted I was by that plunging neckline – a real victory for us gals with scrawny sternums. As we said in the live blog, Lupita is an Audrey Hepburn in a Hollywood full of Tori Spellings.
Cate Blanchett in Georgio Armani
The real trend this year was nude-colored dresses with beading and like … fluffy things. There’s a lot of texture going on in 2014, and Cate Blanchett wore the trend perfectly. As her effortless acceptance speech showed, Blanchett is an old pro at this. She picked a fantastic silhouette, went with her standby designer, and managed to look both perfectly modern and perfectly classic.
Jennifer Lawrence in Christian Dior
There wasn’t a lot of color on the red carpet last night, and this orange number was a delight. I don’t care what mean internet people say, I think that short hair really suits J.Law. My only complaint is that this dress looked a LITTLE less beautiful when falling than her other dress did.
Amy Adams in Gucci
There was a split reaction on this dress, with some people thinking it was sort of a yawn. But I’m of the mind that elegance is refusal — see also Bullock, Sandra. I especially loved the pops of color in Amy’s earrings and bracelet.
Matthew McConaughey in Dolce & Gabbana
Men’s fashion is just not as exciting as women’s fashion, and there’s only so much you can do — any attempt you make to step outside the box will leave you wearing a rumpled colored tux or stupid shorts. This is an example of Creative Black Tie done well, in my opinion. The well-fitted white jacket over the crisp formal vest, shirt and tie wouldn’t look out of place at a 1920s dinner party or 1940s jazz club. Well done, Pastor Matt of the Church Of McConaughey.
Honorable Mention: Naomi Watts in Calvin Klein Collection. As I said, I’m trying to avoid repeats, but I at least have to mention this. She looks like a beautiful glittering snow queen, for goodness sakes.
Speaking of snow queens, Kristen Bell deserves a mention for the best accessory of the night – a purse with a burrito in it. Bless. Oh, she looked lovely, as well.
Worst Dressed
Jared Leto in Saint Laurent
I’m told I’m supposed to like this, but sorry, I’m not feeling it. The look does fit Leto – forever Jordan Catalano, but also frontman of 30 Seconds To Mars. A more clean-cut look probably wouldn’t suit him. Still, the jacket was a little too cream-colored and the shirt a little too white for my taste, and the red tie and pocket square didn’t work for me either. I gotta hand it to him, though: Leto has gorgeous hair and beautiful eyes and just like… a great general face area.
Christian Bale
Theodore Lawrence, what happened? This is what I mean about creative black tie – it’s like guys have to choose between looking boring yet appropriate, or just kind of … off. I’ve never been a fan of black on black male formalwear, but it’s not just that. The whole thing looks rumply and ill-fitted. The shirt looks stretched and the pants look too big. Get thee to a tailor, Bale.
Liza Minnelli in Halston
As with Lupita, I’m trying not to do repeats here but I’d be an idiot not to address this. Between Liza and Gaga last night, does the gay community even have a true fashion icon left? It’s not Johnny Weir, is it? Oh, gosh. It’s Johnny Weir.
Whoopi Goldberg
This look was stupid when Julia Roberts wore it at the Golden Globes, and it’s still stupid now – but now it’s stupid AND uninspired. The knotted pearl necklace from Costume Warehouse’s flapper outfit isn’t helping.
Penelope Cruz in Giambattista Valli Haute Couture
The good: that soft pink color, the pretty draping. The bad: I think if this dress existed without the back panel draped over her arms, I might love it. Was it just how she was posing? Close but no cigar, here.
Honorable Mentions: Charlize Theron – I loved everything about this except the shoulder strap situation. It doesn’t really belong on my worst dressed, but I just wanted to point out that the top of it looks like someone was dressing a paper doll, but didn’t know they had to fold the tabs over its shoulder.
Also, while not worst by any means, sometimes Kerry Washington’s dress looked like it was a cruddy taupe color, but in still shots you could tell it was a muted lavender/mauve. Blame the lighting, not the dress. Kerry was, of course, stunning even when I thought she was wearing that boring terra cotta color that everyone painted their family room in 2001.
This is neither best nor worst, here nor there, but I just found out that Johnny Weir and Tara Lipinski were there and I felt like I had to share this information with everyone. Johnny Weir is dressed as Liberace dressed as a matador dressed as an old-timey oil baron, because of course.
And finally… Kim Novak’s face. Yes, she’s clearly had some plastic surg, but I want everyone who’s ever criticized a celebrity for starting to look old to take a good, hard look at themselves and say “I caused this.”
Cookies + Sangria 
