A couple of years ago, Molly was kind enough to send me a care package of books, most of which are geared towards a younger audience, because she gets me. One of the books in said package was a novelization of Dawson’s Creek, called A Capeside Christmas.
It seems as if novelizing popular TV shows seemed to be a big 90s thing that brought in all the cash for these already hit programs. I’m pretty sure I read one or two of the Full House books, but there was also a collection of Buffy, Charmed, and Roswell ones floating around too. But the thing about these was that they were never *quite* in canon with the shows they were derived from.
I recently finished A Capeside Christmas, and hands down, it was one of the worst things I’ve ever read. But I finished it, so I guess it wasn’t that horrible. I thought the story was going to follow the gang during Christmas and some kind of trouble that ensued (per usual) around this time of year in the Cape, but instead, it was 146 pages about the Capeside Follies aka the town Christmas pageant that all of them are in. Dawson is lured in as director, Jen is the stage manager and Joey and Pacey are in the show showing off their talents – IN THE SHOW. It was a little off, but I could see how it still fit in with the show in general. But since Andie found a love interest in the book, it also lead to confusion as to whether it takes BP or AP (Before Pacey/After Pacey). It read like a DC fanfic, but was juuuust good enough to get picked up by a lesser known publisher. And for all we know, the Dawson’s Creek line of books could be just that.
Yes, there’s more than one of these books besides A Capeside Christmas. Although I don’t think I’ll be paying $.75 cents + $5 shipping to purchase “Too Hot To Handle”, I do want to appreciate these books for its comedic value. All of the novels have a corny subtitle, one that was probably from the same vault where your dad gets his Dad Jokes from. Just like I didn’t really know what A Capeside Christmas was about prior to diving in, I’m going to do the same thing and do exactly what you SHOULD do with any Dawson’s Creek novelization – judge a book by its cover.
Four fifteen-year-olds ready to take on the world.
They’re learning about life, and learning how to love. **
Shifting into Overdrive
Assumed Plot: Joey is eager to get her driver’s license, and since her older sister Bessie is too busy at the B&B and with her baby (and her hubs is mysteriously absent), Joey has to call on the help of one of her friends to pass the test. Since Dawson’s too focused on his latest film project for the Rhode Island Film Festival, Pacey offers to give her driving lessons in his pickup. Their road is a rocky one at the start, with constant bickering and stressful backseat (frontseat) drivers. However, it’s eventually smooth sailing for Pacey and Joey as she nears her test – but will the actual test be their budding romantic relationship? *Pacey actually taught Joey how to drive, right?*
Actual Plot: The road calls… Joey and Jen totally need a Dawson-free zone, so when Jen’s wealthy cousin invites her to an elegant Sweet Sixteen party in New York City, Jen coaxes a reluctant Joey along. Meanwhile, Dawson and Pacey are hot on their trail, dying to know what the girls are up to. The guys hit the road. And the road hits back….
Is high society ready for Jen’s ex-boyfriend Billy, and Danny, a sophisticated senior who’s totally into Joey? “And two sleepless gate-crashers?” It’s party time….
Major Meltdown
Assumed Plot: Now Juniors, they gang (excluding Pacey) are freaking out over the upcoming SATs and pressure of college in general. Studious Joey is taking extra SAT prep courses to bump up her score from 1400 to at least 1525. Jen is deciding whether she wants to go to college at all and Dawson is torn between going to Los Angeles or New York for film school. However the one thing they all have in common is the dilemma of whether they’re making the right decisions about college at all, a choice that will effect the rest of their lives.
Actual Plot: Jen hopes that a ski trip to a fancy Vermont chalet will enable her to rekindle things with Dawson, who is in turn occupied with his feelings for Joey; while Pacey looks forward to conquest over the ski bunnies.
Double Exposure
Assumed plot: Jen and Joey decide to take a photography class together, and one of their projects is to pick someone or something that has great value and serves as an inspiration to them as part of a photo project. Separately, the both Jen and Joey pick Dawson – and jealousy ensues. Will Dawson help out the new girl in town or the girl who’s been in his heart for his whole life?
Actual Plot: The Ice House is in serious need of funds, so Joey takes matters into her own hands and finds work as an underwear model, but when her pictures end up on the Internet, heads begin turning at school.
Don’t Scream
Assumed Plot: In the book version of one of the famous Halloween episodes, Pacey convinces everyone to join him on a trip to Salem to check out the place where the actual witch trials took place. Strange little things keep happening while they’re there – water glasses get knocked over with no explanation, doors keep shutting with no wind in the air, and even Jack’s going crazy because he keeps thinking he sees his grandmother everywhere they go – a grandmother who died five years ago. In Salem.
Actual Plot: “LIGHTS, CAMERA, SCREAM” Has Dawson’s dream finally come true? A low-budget teen horror film is shooting in Capeside and Dawson desperately wants to work on the set. This could be the professional break he’s been looking for an he’s really excited. That is, until Jen lands the job he wanted. Meanwhile, Joey loves the attention she’s getting while spending time with the movie’s to-die-for lead.
Too Hot To Handle
Assumed Plot: It’s summertime in the Creek and when they’re not working at the Ice House or at the video store or at Dawson’s parents’ restaurant, the gang spend most of their time at the beach. It’s there that both Pacey and Dawson meet some particularly attractive ladies, causing jealousy to stir inside both Andie and Joey, respectively.
Actual Plot: Pacey has a great idea to raise money to protect Dunn’s Lighthouse from developers. Students will volunteer to dress as celebs, and other teens will bid on them. The highest bidders for the stars will own them for a day. Who would turn down this chance to fulfill his or her fantasies?
Running On Empty
Assumed Plot: Jack confides to Jen that he’s gay, a confession he’s too scared to come forward with to both his family, friends, and especially girlfriend Joey. The pressure of being who people think he is and who he truly is gets to him, and it’s only Jen who can help him through it.
Actual Plot: Bessie and Joey’s plan to rake in the dough with paying guests during Capeside’s “Weekend of the Whales” festival goes south fast when Bessie sprains her ankle, spoiled potato salad knocks out all the cooks in town, and it rains and rains and rains. Pacey, Dawson, Jack, and Andie are eager to help out…but Andie’s got her hands full with the handsome twin brothers staying at Gram’s place, Dawson’s dealing with another obnoxious B&B client, a poetry-loving houseguest totally crushes on Joey, and there’s not a whale in sight! Looks like it’s gonna be a long weekend…
Trouble in Paradise
Assumed Plot: It was going well for soulmates Dawson and Joey for a while, before they separately started to realize that it just wasn’t working out romantically. After they spend a weekend in Paradise, Connecticut with Jen, Andie, Pacey and Jack on a skiing trip, their already tense relationship comes to a head when they’re forced to come forward with their true feelings during an intense round of Truth or Dare.
Actual Plot: It’s the return of Jen’s cousin Courtney the Perfect. Grams is thrilled. Jen and Joey are not, and their instincts are right: Courtney is definitely out to stir up trouble.
Playing for Keeps
Assumed Plot: In order to make some extra money in hopes of saving it for a new car, Pacey starts investing in off-track betting. Andie starts to notice that his hobby is soon becoming an addiction, as she sees he’s losing more money than he’s investing. Will Andie’s pressure to stop his gambling ways push Pacey to clean up his act or be on the brink of a breakup?
Actual Plot: Summer is finally here and the gang nab jobs as counselors at Camp Takabec. Jack is the football counselor, Dawson does audiovisual, Joey’s in arts and crafts, Jen and Pacey are directing the camp musical, and Andie is an academic tutor for challenged kids.
They’re managing to have a blast, even though Jen and Joey both fall for the same mysterious college guy from England. Meanwhile, a friendly color war is developing into “The Sex Wars,” pitting the guys against the gals. But who will win this friendship tug-of-war?
Tough Enough
Assumed Plot: Dawson’s secret love for the WWE is revealed.
Actual Plot: North…by Northwest? When Principal Green introduces a mandatory new program called “SpringPlan” at Capeside High, Jen, Joey, Pacey, Jack, Andie, and Dawson all sign up for projects that interst them. But Princpal Green has other ideas, and they find themselves assigned to “Character Building Through Wilderness Training” in the wilds of North Carolina. Oh yeah.
Wilderness Camp is run by a former marine drill sergeant who makes the Godfather look like Mother Teresa. Pre-breakfast runs, splittng wood, poisonous-snake identification classes. Tension is running high, but there’s only one way out of the woods for Jen, Joey, Pacey, Dawson, Jack, and Andie.
Calm Before the Storm
Assumed Plot: A huge winter storm is heading to Capeside, and everyone is preparing for the worst before hunkering down for what’s sure to be the worst storm in years. But tensions are already high for Joey and Dawson (who just broke up), Joey and Jack (whose kiss led to said break-up), Andie and Pacey (who are secretly working through Andie’s mental problems) and Jen (who is still coping with the death of her grandfather). They end up locked in the school for hours, since the storm came in early, and they are forced to stick together and hash out their problems while waiting for the storm to pass.
Actual Plot: “Whales mate for life.” “At least they know what they want,” Joey thinks.
Sometimes her relationship with Dawson seems so complicated. Even more so when her class field trip to Billings Island, a nature preserve off the coast of Capeside, is blown apart by a freak storm. And Joey and Dawson are separated from Pacey and Jen. Now they’re lost in the woods… stranded in an old cabin together, cold and shivering, alone in a storm… eager for warmth.
Listen. I think we’re all on the same page when I say while Saved by the Bell is one of the most beloved TV shows of kids who grew up in the 90s, it’s not the best in terms of, say, storytelling or acting. It’s a show for teens and tweens, and in cases like myself, children under the age of 10. But because it was geared towards a younger crowd, they could get away with more ridiculous storylines, something that they wouldn’t have been able to get away with on “adult” programming.
That being said, we’re back with another installment of our Doing Lines series (you can catch the other ones here), and this time we’re heading to the Pacific Palisades and seeing what kind of trouble the kids got into during their five-year stint in high school.
Season 1
Episode 3 {The Gift}
Fun fact: the image on the TV is an exterior shot of John F. Kennedy Junior High School from Good Morning, Miss Bliss!!
Screech gets struck by lighting and suddenly has a superpower where he knows what will happen before it happens. Also, he acquires an afro.
Episode 5 {Screech’s Woman}
Zack decides to help Screech get a girlfriend but no one is willing to go out with him, so Zack dresses up as a girl named Babmi and goes on a date with Screech, but he starts to like Bambi frreal.
Episode 8 {Cream for a Day}
Screech accidentally invents a zit cream in chemistry class, which gets rid of pimples overnight. Kelly wins homecoming queen but uses the cream the night before – too bad the cream makes everyone’s face maroon.
Episode 11 {The Friendship Business}
Zack leads the gang in a project for business class, in which they have to create and market a product. They choose an item called Buddy Bands, but when their company becomes successful, the power gets to Zack’s head and Kelly, Jessie and Slater decide to make their own friendship-related item, Love Cuffs. Also, this timeless commercial.
Episode 12 {The Mamas and the Papas}
The gang participate in a project to simulate a domestic marriage, and everyone gets paired up. Jessie and Slater, Zack and Kelly (foreshadowing!!!) and Lisa and Screech. I think the most importnant thing to remember from this episode is that Lisa ALL OF A SUDDEN is allergic to Screech. Because she keeps sneezing and scratching everytime she’s close to him, Mr. Belding separates them and Screech becomes Zack and Kelly’s son, while Lisa goes over to the Slater/Spano family. Lisa’s allergy was never spoken of again.
Episode 14 {The Zack Tapes}
Zack learns about subliminal messaging and attempts to trick Kelly into going to the dance with him with a sneaky cassette tape. She finds out and decides to turn the tables on him. Ah the troubles of being a teen heartthrob.
Season 2
Episode 7 {Rent-a-Pop}
Mr. Belding wants to set up a meeting with Zack and his dad because Zack’s been failing his classes. Zack doesn’t want his father to find out, so “rents” an actor to be his dad, because, Los Angeles.
Episode 8 {Miss Bayside}
After watching The Unauthorized Saved by the Bell story, we learned that the writers asked the cast what their talents or hobbies were, and incoporated their answers to the scripts. TAT used to be a beauty queen, which explains the Miss Bayside pageant, but can/do real schools actually do this?
Episode 9 {Jessie’s Song}
It’s the infamous ‘I’m so excited’ episode. And honestly, my problem isn’t with Jessie’s ridiculous addiction to caffeine pills, it’s that a trio of teens from the Pacific Palisades, and called Hot Sundae, easily got the attention of music executives. They were on the fast track to stardom until Jessie’s freakout!
Episode 10 {Model Students}
A photographer comes to Bayside and “discovers” Kelly after Zack and Screech secretly take pix of the girls in swimsuits and make a “Girls of Bayside calendar”. The photographer gives Kelly the opportunity to go to Paris to be a model. Zack isn’t okay with this. Is this photographer somehow in cahoots with the music execs who wanted to sign Hot Sundae?
Episode 12 {Close Encounters of the Nerd Kind}
This is truly one of the more ridiculous storylines to ever come to Bayside. A tabloid is offering money for photos of real aliens so Zack and Slater dress Screech up as an alien and film him being creepy at the school to fool the tabloid. Except a special agent with the government is convinced Screech is a real alien.
Episode 13 {Running Zack}
Zack finds out he’s part Native American and to learn more about his roots, befriends a man named Chief Henry who has a great impact on Zack. Meanwhile, Jessie finds out her ancestors used to be slave owners and spends the rest of the episode ‘apologizing’ to Lisa. I’m convinced at least one scene in this episode is slightly racist.
Episode 14 {The Babysitters}
Kelly’s parents leave their baby son with Kelly who has to bring him to school (because, hello, she’s a teenager), but when she has to take school pictures, she’s forced to leave her baby brother behind with the gang. Honestly, why didn’t Mr. Belding or any of the teachers or any of the students not notice baby Billy and alert social services or something??
Episode 15 {The Fabulous Belding Boys}
Mr. Belding reluctantly lets his surfer dude brother Rod serve as a substitute teacher and immediately all the students flock to him because of his laid back nature. Rod suggests taking the kids on a white-water rafting trip, but just before they leave, Rod tells his bro that he can’t take the kids because he has a date with a girl – and Zack overhears the whole thing. Mr. Belding is left with covering for Rod but they end up having a lot more respect and appreciation for their principal at the end. Also, the title of this episode sounds super gay. Like literally gay.
Season 3
Episode 7 {Check Your Mate}
The annual chess competition between Bayside and Valley gets ugly when Valley plays dirty and steals his lucky beret. In retaliation, Zack and Slater decide to switch Valley’s best chess player, a Russian exchange student, with Zack in a wig. I guess I never realized it until now, but these kids really were into disguises. Must have kept the local wig store in business.
Episode 9 {Fake I.D.s}
Zack meets at girl at The Max named Danielle who is a student at USC, so naturally, Zack pretends to also be a college kid who’s majoring in photojournalism. He agrees to meet her at The Attic, a night club for kids 18 and over, which obviously requires fake I.D.s. While at the club, Zack, Slater and Screech spot Jeff, Kelly’s boss (aka the skeezebucket Kelly wanted to date so she promptly dumped Zack) kissing another girl. Zack tries to tell Kelly what he saw at the Attic but didn’t believe him, on account of jealousy. This episode is a reminder that the gang basically lived out things I would never have the balls to do as a teen. Fake IDs and sneaking into a club? I’d much rather stay in and watch The Baby-Sitters Club Movie on repeat.
Episode 11 {Pipe Dreams}
In one of those *the more you know* episodes, this one tackled the environment and saving it, etc. Oil is found in the school’s football field, and the kids go crazy thinking of what they’ll do with all the money. However, they soon find out that ~getting rich comes with a price~
Episode 16 {All in the Mall}
The gang fails at buying U2 concert tickets, and when they accidentally find a shoebox full of cash, shenanigans ensue. This never happened to me when I went to the mall. The only thing that went down was me trying to avoid eye contact with anyone I went to high school with.
Episode 17 {SATs}
Jessie gets a 1205 on the SATs while Zack miraculously scores a 1502, sending overachiever Jessie into a tailspin. For you kiddies that aren’t American or took the SATs after 2005, a perfect score on the SATs during this time was a 1600. So naturally, Jessie is as confused as all of us to learn of Zack’s score, especially because this is a kid who puts no effort into learning or anything relating to academia.
Super megahot Hollywood actor Johnny Dakota chooses Bayside as the location for an anti-drug commercial but the catch is that Johnny himself uses drugs! A celebrity doing drugs?! Actually I think his drug of choice was pot UGH EVEN WORSE.
Episode 22 {Rockumentary}
This is personally one of my fave episodes, and it seemingly comes out of nowhere. Casey Kasem returns to give a Behind the Music-esque documentary about Zack Attack (the band all the gang is in, obvs), and their rise to fame from a garage band to superstar band. It was never explained how they all suddenly learned how to sing and play instruments.
Episode 24 {Home for Christmas}
Zack has a crush on a girl who works at the mall, and later finds out she and her dad are homeless. Again, this is one of those *very special* episodes that makes you think twice before you judge the girl working at a department store.
Season 4
Episode 4 {Student Teacher Week}
The students take over for the teachers – Zack becomes principal for the day. And hangs up posters of Paula Abdul and Guns n Roses next to each other.
Episode 3 {Screech’s Spaghetti Sauce}
Screech makes a spaghetti sauce he sells on TV, and Punky Brewster pretends to fall for him to get his recipe. They even come up with a fun catch phrase that I still have stuck in my head after all these years: “The sauce you can have, but the secret, she’s a mine.”
Episode 18 {The Video Yearbook}
The gang decides to make a video yearbook instead of the traditional one, and Zack’s plan to use the girls’ videos as a dating service backfires when Kelly starts receiving a bunch of calls from rando guys.
Episode 20 {Snow White and the Seven Dorks}
The gang is all in a rap version of Snow White and the Seven Dwarves but when Jessie and Zack find out they have to kiss in the final scene they get all weird about it and question their feelings for each other, and subsequently fall out with Slater and Kelly in the process. And they take the drama to the stage. Get it??
Episode 21 {Earthquake!}
An earthquake hits Bayside and Zack is stuck in the elevator with Mr. Belding’s pregnant wife who goes into labor. Reminder Zack is an 18 year old Senior in high school who just delivered his principal’s son.
The school holds a contest for who can write the best school song (BTW do schools actually do this? Our high school has been using the same ‘school song’ since the 1900s and includes the words ‘rev’rie’ and ‘retrospection’). Zack is determined to win the contest so he can be remembered for something positive before he graduates, as opposed to his scheming ways. But it’s those scheming ways that brings him down in the end. Friendly reminder that I tried to convince my 8th grade music teacher that we needed to sing this song at our graduation. I lit’rally taped the song on a cassette and brought it in to school.
One of the best parts of watching Saved by the Bell in present day is getting to comment on the absolutely unbelievable 90s fashion that was paraded around on the show. Because the sitcom centered on a group of teens, they had to wear what the teens were wearing back in the day. Just like the video yearbook the gang left for the Class of 2003, the show itself leaves us with a time capsule of what it was like to be hip and cool in the early 90s. And as thankful as we are for the treasure trove of bad/good fashion, that doesn’t stop us from making our own commentary on it. Here are just a few select styles the Bayside bunch wore throughout their time on our TV screens.
T: Apparently at this photo shoot, Mario was the only one who was running hot because he clearly needed to unbutton his shirt for all to see. You don’t see Dustin complaining in his abstract painting shirt or Zack whining in his surprisingly normal outfit. Someone get a Beyonce fan on Lopez.
M: Something about the cut of Zack’s t-shirt makes him look like his torso is on backwards. Something we never talk about when we talk about 90s clothes: those big-ass sneakers everyone wore. Look at Slater and Zack. Those are some “me and my retiree church group are taking a bus tour of Germany” sneakers.
T: I remember watching SBTB as early as 1st grade, so I was a little younger than the teenagers at Bayside High. Therefore, the first impression I had of high school was that of these kids. Yeah, the ones you see up there. Is this what teens really wore back then? All I’m saying is that if I had to pick one of these people to be the “trendsetter” of the group, it definitely would NOT be Lisa. She’s the one who is super into shopping and fashion and even goes to college for it, but judging by this alone, one would think she’s practicing to become one of the ticket takers at a Broadway theater.
M: OH LORDY. Lisa is seriously in Playbill Yellow. She reminds me of Claudia Kishi, who was supposed to be “into fashion” as well, but that meant she’d wear Lisa’s outfit here with homemade clay bee earrings and a bracelet that encased her hand in an entire, active beehive. There’s a lot going on here, but I also want to take a moment for Mario’s jeans, which make him look like he’s rocking a full diaper.
T: Remember when aerobics were really popular in the 80s/90s? I blame Jane Fonda. For that fad and this look. No one wears these bright, spandex, outfits to the gym anymore, right? IDK I hate the gym.
M: Not sure, because everything I wear at the gym could also be worn by a child at PE class or field day. But I wish I had these outfits. If anyone wants to buy me a spandex crop-top workout suit, I will wear it to work out and post photos. I think this was the 90s version of wearing fun sneakers to go running so you hate it a little less. But what is the function of those belts? YOU ARE WEARING SPANDEX. It should hold itself up just fine.
T: Technically this is some kind of press tour the cast did to promote the show, but can we all just take a minute to admire what exactly is going on here. MPG and TAT (Mark Paul Gosselaar & Tiffani Amber Theissen, obvs) are being the heartthrobs that they are and smiling and looking directly into the camera with their fresh to death outfits, Mario Lopez is still getting the hang of this celebrity thing and Dustin Diamond is looking off into the distance and has spent the past hour trying to find the gum he put in his pants pocket.
M: I know I was like 5, but how did I miss that this show was just Zack, Kelly, then a bunch of garbage people? Dustin looks like all of the boys in junior high whose moms would buy their uniform pants a size too big to “grow into them.” You really gotta hand it to 1992, when a beautiful teenage girl could appear in a bra top (a bustier, according to Selena RIP), and still somehow look frumpy.
T: Ok, so I lied. Lisa clearly is a trendsetter. She was the inspiration behind Seinfeld’s Puffy Shirt, right?
M: Look at the solid four inches of lace at the bottom of her white shorts! Damn. That is a LOOK.
T: Looking back on all these pix, it’s clearly Zack and Kelly that have the most timeless looks of them all, no? #IShipIt
M: I want Kelly Kapowski’s entire wardrobe and I’m not even sorry. Meanwhile, Spano looks like a travel agent who can never quite amass enough frequent flyer miles to escape from her existential ennui. Now that I know about Lark Voorhies’ religious beliefs, I find myself looking at every one of her outfits and going “maybe it’s because she’s a Jehovah’s Witness?” But it’s not like they have special underwear or anything.
T: For some context, this was the episode where Mr. Belding’s cool yet unreliable brother Rod shows up and promises to take the class on a trip white water rafting. This explains why Lisa’s wearing an all-camo shirt/skirt combo and holding a Louis Vuitton caboodle, and why Slater looks like he’s practicing to become one of the Village People.
M: Are they all going white water rafting in entirely different climates? Zack has on a fleece vest and a denim tuxedo, that one extra with the flat-top is in a sweatshirt that looks like a design you’d see on a pool raft, and Slater is dressed like a nice young mom catching fire flies with her children in a detergent commercial.
T: Slater’s jeans look super uncomfortable, but all I can think is that I want to find Lisa’s outfit and wear it for Halloween. Like what even is the inspiration behind this? TEXAS FOREVER 21, AMIRITE LADIES??
M: Early 90s trend that hasn’t come back yet: those dresses with the bodice that ended in a crotch triangle with the flouncy layered skirt attached. They were the thing when we were in kindergarten or so.
Screech looks like a sad quirky boy from a Wes Anderson movie.
T: I think everyone’s pissed off in this picture because they all realized they would go down in history as one of the most ridiculously dressed casts in TV. Also, a lot of denim on denim.
M: Photos of groups of people in the late 80s/early 90s almost give you a stress headache because there’s so much happening at once. Really weird to think this was at the same time as Seinfeld, where everyone looked sort of earth toned and beigey. We mentioned in our live blog of The Unauthorized Saved By The Bell Story that the kids looked way too modern. Turns out we were right: the costume designers didn’t even try. This is why teens today have such a warped idea of what the 90s really looked like.
I’m getting more and more confused as to why Lisa and Screech are supposed to be such a mismatched pair. Look at those getups. They are made for each other.
T: Okay, but like, Slater’s wearing those jeans again. Did they really not have a budget to buy different pants? Speaking of pants, Screech is definitely wearing those Zumbas (Zumbas?) like it’s his job. Ok well technically it is. I feel like he came out of the womb wearing those.
M: I hope he has a provision in his will that he has to be buried in those pants.
G’Day, mates! That’s me addressing you in the same slang they use on Dance Academy. Although now that I think about it, I don’t recall anyone saying that at all throughout the show. Anyways, if you didn’t catch that, this show is from Australia. If you’re in need of a program to watch this summer that isn’t too ‘involved’ like Breaking Bad or The Wire, this is the perfect show for you. As a bonus, each episode is 30 minutes, and there are only 3 seasons (which are all on Netflix Instant), so you don’t even have to worry about catching up before a new season starts!
As I mentioned in a post about my Summer To Do List a few months ago, my friend Ana was pushing me for MONTHS to watch DA, and I finally did. And following my tendency to get obsessed with TV shows, this show followed suit. If you like teen centered programs like Degrassi or loved the great 2000 film Center Stage, you will most likely get just as obsessed with DA as I am, and here’s why.
What It’s About
Dance Academy is mainly narrated by 15-year-old Tara Webster who is a newly accepted first year student at the National Academy of Dance in Sydney. The series follows her and her fellow dancer pals as they deal with teen romance, rivalries and the pressures of being at a highly competitive dance academy. You know, pretty much everyone’s usual upbringing Down Under.
Reasons to Watch
Aussie Aussie Aussie! (Oi! Oi! Oi!)
Most of the show takes place inside the Dance Academy itself, but there’s a lot of scenes that show Sydney and the surrounding areas. I’ve never been to Australia, but it’s always been one of the places on my ‘bucket list’, and watching this show just makes me want to go there more/temporarily fill my Aussie desires. Not to mention, it’s just *cooler* watching a show that’s not American, you know what I mean? I found myself wanting to watch episodes just so I could go back to ‘Sydney’ every night. It’s like when you watch Friday Night Lights and just want to go Dillon, Texas for an hour or two. I mean, I don’t make it a habit of yearning to go to Texas on a daily basis, outside of the context of FNL/Austin.
Coming of Age Storylines
If you’re a product of the 90s like we are, you grew up with shows like Saved by the Bell, Full House, Boy Meets World, everything on SNICK etc. But you know how there’s a difference between Saved by the Bell and Boy Meets World? Saved by the Bell was a Saturday morning show where it was about sleeping over in a mall to get U2 tickets, while Boy Meets world was the TGIF show where Mr. Feeny would teach you a life lesson at the end of every episode. Dance Academy is more of the latter. While I can’t exactly relate to it like I did with SBTB or BMW when I was a tween, I imagine DA has the same effect of kids these days.
The show touches on a lot of different subjects throughout all 65 episodes that normal teens go through. All the kids come from different backgrounds – Tara is a naive girl from the bush (aka what ‘country’ is to us Americans), Sammy’s a Jewish kid whose dad disapproves of his dancing, Abigail, the daughter of a dance teacher, is a perfectionist whose only goal is to make it into the company, Kat comes from a super famous ballet family, and Christian is a troubled kid whose mom died and dad was absent most of his life and is in the Academy basically so he doesn’t get into trouble with the ‘bad crowd’. Together, they tackle themes of friendships, romance, jealousy, revenge, death, divorce, even eating disorders (come on, this IS a show about dancers), and don’t do it in a way that is tacky, insensitive, or too in your face. The fact that DA has won the Australian equivalent of the Emmy for Best Most Outstanding Children’s Program TWICE should say it all.
The Gays
On paper, Dance Academy is a show for teens. It’s only in recent years that we’ve seen more family friendly shows incorporate gay characters, so it’s refreshing to see a show in Australia featuring a fairly prominent storyline that involves a gay (well, at least bi) character in Sammy. Without giving too much away, Sammy is faced with trying to figure out what these feelings he has for boys mean, and if he can be comfortable admitting those feelings to his friends and family. There’s also Ollie, who is not your ‘stereotypical’ gay dancer type, and he addresses his sexuality in such a nonchalant way that I almost didn’t notice he was coming out when he first talked about it. These two provide public figures that teens and younger kids can see on TV and realize that people don’t have to be reduced down to their sexuality, but that they’re just ‘Sammy’ and ‘Ollie’. Deal with it.
The Dancing, duh
I mean the show IS called Dance Academy, so there better be good dancing, right? What I appreciate about this show is that they clearly picked young people who were dancers first and foremost, then actors. I’ll admit, the acting isn’t Oscar worthy or anything, but you have to hand it to every single one of them for their dancing ability. It was hard to narrow three seasons of dancing into a sample platter for y’all, but I tried my best! PS: I would suggest not clicking on YouTube & just watching the embedded videos in case you’ll accidentally see a major spoiler!!
*Note: the video below is from the final scene of the entire series – it doesn’t give anything away, but JIC you don’t like any type of spoiler like me!*
If you guys watch DA or have watched it before, let me know what you think!!!
Ah, Pappy Drewitt. If you were born in the 90s, maybe you can still hear the song: Pappy, Pappy Drewitt, he drew Pappyland. And you too can do it, if you’re in Pappyland!
But I wouldn’t know, because I was born in the 80s. Young enough to watch children’s TV in the 90s, but old enough to watch it mockingly, I remember singing something more like “Crappy, Crappy Drewitt, he blew Crappyland. And you too can do it, if urine Crappyland!”
If you wonder why millennials like things ironically, I direct you to the (relative) success of the T.L.C. show Pappyland. Except for children under the age of 5, none of us were watching it in earnest. We were watching it to exercise our budding comedic sensibilities, like a fawn first learning to walk. Pappy Drewitt is probably the cultural moment that confirmed that we are truly The Shittiest Generation.
Pappyland was a children’s art show about a kindly elderly man who lives in a fantasy world that he drew himself, possibly an allegory about how those with Alzheimer’s connect with the very young, possibly an attempt to teach children about the joys of self-expression. It was a tender gift from TLC to the children of the world – literally. The opening sequence actually says “Dedicated To Children Around The World.” And the shitty children around the world said “ha, it rhymes with Crappyland!” and tore it to shreds.
80s Babies, I’m back for round two.
Feel free to watch along and follow my commentary – but I’m inclined to think that this is burned so deeply in our collective memory that you don’t even need to watch it to remember.
Even though I hate-watched Pappy Drewitt, I still always secretly wished he would say my name when he greeted children through the screen. He never did, because those bitches were always named Jessica.
Pappy Drewitt is a soulless children’s show: like Barney without all of the children. Or Mr. Rogers without the gentile middle-class lifestyle (I think Pappy is Appalachian?). Or Sesame Street without virtually everything likeable about Sesame Street.
They’re obviously trying – there are puppets, which is sort of the minimum baseline effort you have to make in children’s t.v. – but there’s not a surly Oscar or a childlike Elmo in sight. Instead, the Pappy puppets are all indistinguishable idiots. There’s an idiot bear, a dumb-bitch girl flower, and this one stupid bird.
The bear, in particular, looks like a Furry. I think Dumb Bitch Girl Flower is the only female character on the show, and for once I say “thank you, that’s quite enough representation for one day!” Boys, you’re going to have to bear responsibility for this tv mess almost alone.
Pappy wears a ring, so he is either married or widowed. He also wears a 99-cent bandana and a plain t-shirt that look like they came from a Michael’s Craft Store. There is a turtle named Turtle-Loo, who has a god-awful indistinguishably “ethnic” accent. He is either French, Italian, or Spanish. Pappy whitely intones “prrrrronto!” At least Dora The Explorer teaches the children of the world how to speak annoying non-English catch-phrases correctly.
Pappy teaches us about manners in this episode, I guess, but he’s sort of dogmatic about it and he’s basically a real dick.
During the first run of Pappy Drewitt, I was at that magical age where no matter what he drew, in the beginning it always looked like a butt or some boobs. This episode is no exception. He draws a bunny, but he starts with the eyes, which look like nothing so much as lopsided cartoon tetas.
Guys, he just KEEPS DRAWING. In real time. For over six minutes, we watch a piece of paper as a grown man doodles a bunny on it. Can’t they do that cooking show thing and time-lapse it? When Pappy finishes we learn the name of this piece: “Two Bunnies In A Doorway, And There’s Carrots In The Doorway.”
In college we made my friend, who was high, watch a video of these cat marionettes. He could not deal with it. We had to turn it off. I think if we had showed him Pappy Drewitt instead, his brain would have actually exploded.
Sing-A-Song-Sam (Michael Curley), a 1920s barbershop quartet-looking guy, sings a tuneless song about manners. I’d like to remind everyone that before T.L.C. was America’s Sideshow, this is the kind of thing we watched on it.
Holy cow. He is seriously going to spell out the entire word “polite” as a mnemonic to teach the rules of politiness. Isn’t that way too complicated? Isn’t the only rule of politeness “don’t be a dick?” Maybe I shouldn’t have kids. There are not actually six rules, because some of these are clearly repeats:
P – Say Please And Thank you!
Okay. I’ll give them this.
O – Offer To Help Out Too!
Fine, yeah. But this still falls cleanly under “don’t be a dick.”
L – Listen To What Others Say
Sure.
I – Is there anything that I can do?
I’m sorry. Is this an illustration of “offer to help out too”?
T – take turns in the games you play
E – Excuse me if I’m in your way!
So basically, be more Canadian.
Hold onto your hats, kids, now Pappy’s going to color the picture! We watch a grown man color for an additional 5+ minutes. I take back my indictment of our generation: Pappyland deserved our scorn.
Pappy calls himself “Pappy,” in the third person, and it truly sounds like more of a personal weird bedroom thing.
As Pappy colors the wall yellow, he surmises “It could be made of straw! Or it could be painted this color!” Then he says like seven more things about the color, which I repeat, is just yellow.
Finally, Pappy shows us drawings sent in by viewers. There’s one with the same first and last name as a girl we went to high school with and, considering Pappy was filmed an hour away in Syracuse, I think it’s probably hers. All of the kids’ drawings look better than Pappy’s stupid Rabbits With Doorway Carrots or whatever.
Speaking of high school, the quality of Pappy Drewitt’s special effects is actually lower than the greenscreen we had for Morning Update, our daily in-house student news program.
We have to leave, because it is now “quarter to orange!” I hope you’ve enjoyed this journey to Pappyland. Michael Cariglio (Pappy) is (or was?) probably a kind-hearted, imaginative man who wanted to share his love of drawing with children around the world. Instead, he helped a generation of children hone their mockery skills and probably inspired more than a few of them to take up light drug use. This, truly, was his gift to the world’s children.
Last week, one of our Man Crush Monday honorees, LeVar Burton, launched a Kickstarter campaign to bring beloved program Reading Rainbow to classrooms for free and to more platforms than just iPads/tablets, helping kids learn to read and build a love for books. In about 10 hours, the initial goal of $2 million was reached, and almost $3.5 MILLION has been donated since it launched less than a week ago – and it doesn’t even end until July 2nd.
When Veronica Mars made history last year by raising $2 million in about 10 hours as well, we thought shows like Gilmore Girls and Buffy would be prime candidates for a Kickstarter campaign. Now with Reading Rainbow making strides, I thought about the other educational shows from our childhood that could possibly make a comeback and return to help a whole other generation of kids too. Here are some of my picks, do you have any that you don’t see on the list?
Wishbone
{Ran from 1995 to 1998}
Kids love a talking animal, so when Jack Russell Terrier Wishbone is a sharp-talking pooch, it’s easy to forget that he’s retelling stories from classic literature. Wishbone takes on the role of the titular character in each story as he plays it out in his daydream, while his owner Joe faces some kind of similar situation IRL. If a crowdfunding campaign was launched for the show, maybe the show could just get a revamp and come back to TV. Is there even a show like this on right now? I’ve lost touch with my children’s programming.
So this ‘Inside Ralphie’ episode is, for some reason, the most prominent one stuck in my head, even after all these years. Like, Ms. Frizzle just straight up took the class & their Magic School Bus into his body to figure out why he’s sick. Teacher of the year, y’all. Anyways, I feel like Magic School Bus would be a great app for kids, especially with an episode in this vein (pun intended), where it takes them on a journey into the body.
It depresses me that there are probably kids out there who only know Bill Nye from his time on Dancing with the Stars. Who do kids have to look up to in the media now if they want to be scientists? Bill Nye focused on a certain subject in science each episode, and if he successfully funded a Kickstarter campaign, he should bring his science show to schools all over the world, making it one of those interactive assemblies where the students get out of class but are really just going into another one.
Please tell me I’m not the only one who remembers this show? I feel like it was part of my morning TV programming, in addition to Saved by the Bell (gotta balance it out). Mr. Wizard’s real name was Don Herbert, and he invited kids to his ‘house’ to show them science experiments and it’s definitely not as creepy as it sounds. Apparently Don died in 2007, but if there’s a Mr. Wizard Jr. out there, a Kickstarter campaign would be a perfect way to maybe fund a web series – or perhaps just find a new Mr. Wizard.
Ghostwriter
{Ran from 1992 to 1995}
Confession: I pretended that Ghostwriter was real and used to write messages to him/her in my composition notebook. Alas, Ghostwriter never came. Maybe it’s because I didn’t have a circle of friends who needed to solve mysteries that the real police couldn’t solve. The whole point of the show was to help kids improve their reading and writing skills, and how awesome would this be as an app? Let’s be real – I would totally download it for myself.*
Name Your Adventure
{Ran from 1992 to 1995}
If you watched TNBC on Saturday mornings like I did, you remember this show, which made kids’ dreams come true. I thought Name Your Adventure was like THE show to be on, since you could literally name your adventure, and it would come to fruition. Kids were able to meet the likes of President Bill Clinton, Tori Amos, and in the video above, the late Jonathan Brandis who starred in the show SeaQuest. The girl wanted to become a director or movie something or other, so host Mario Lopez took her to set and let her hang out. How cool is that? This series showed me that anything is possible and there are so many jobs and things to accomplish out in the world, so I can only imagine what this could provide for kids who only know the life inside their little bubbles. Again, with a crowdfunded campaign, a web series would be perfect for this, and maybe Mario Lopez would even come back to host it.
Welcome back to Capeside, folks! In case you’re just joining us, I’ve been documenting my very first journey into binge watching Dawson’s Creek (see Season 1, S2 and S3 here), all from the perspective of an adult.
When we last left our crew, Dawson was butt hurt and crying (STILL NOT OVER IT) because Joey chose Pacey over him. She decided to be really un-Joey like and join Pacey on his boat for the entire summer. Jen followed her heart too and ran after her young football-playing boyfriend Henry. Jack is still gay, Andie is not crazy anymore and they’re heading into their senior year. Let’s continue on to see if my new favorite OTP is still together after spending 24/7 together for 3 months…
Pacey and Joey look a little tanner, more laid back, even Katie Holmes forgot she was wearing a mic pack the entire time. But they’re still in love.
Their lovey dovey-ness poses a problem when they get back to Capeside when they are faced with the reality of Dawson and his jealousy, and it all goes down at the Dive-in. That’s right Dive-inbecause this is the Cape and instead of normal cars going to movies they have boats in the water. It’s awk sauce between them and Dawson literally looks like he’s on the verge of a Andie sized break down after talking to Joey for the first time.
Dawson has spent the summer trying to make a new life for himself by becoming BFFs w Andie, Jack and Jen but he clearly still can’t live without one Josephine Potter, who BTW is more scantily clad since returning from boat life. I feel like this costume choice is supposed to be a reflection of how comfortable and free she is with Pacey, but she just looks like one of those girls who comes back from spring break with a hair wrap or cornrows with beads to prove they went on vacation somewhere tropical.
I will say that it looks like Dawson might have a love interest to keep his mind off of Joey/Pacey – he reconnects with this girl Gretchen, and we later find out that Gretchen is Pacey’s older sister that Dawson used to have a maj crush on when they were younger…
Jen’s young BF Henry never really came back from football camp and is at some boarding school, which means we’ll never see him again. Andie tried to hit on some guys who turned out to be faux French, one of which is Gay Danny from the best season of The Real World. And even though he tricked Andie into think he was actually from France, his French is actually better than his acting. Still hot though.
Oh and since you were wondering, Pacey and Joey didn’t have sex during the 3 months on the boat, mainly because they slept in these hammocks the entire time. Wtf. No bed? That rules out my aspirations to become a sailor.
Notable Quote: “What exactly would we be missing from the land of poorly scripted melodramas? recycled plot lines, tiresome self realizations, you throw in the downward spiral of a dear friend and you throw in a baby here and a death there and all you really got is a recipe for some soul sucking mind numbing ennui. And I for one can skip it.” – Pacey Witter, foreshadowing the entire series.
Episode 2
Mitch Leery, who has now transitioned from football coach to guidance counselor, informs Pacey that he can’t graduate unless he makes up for his bad grades from last year. Ruh roh. Out of all the people to be held back, Pacey is the one who doesn’t need this shit right now. He is hesitant to tell Joey because she’ll be disappointed in him or something, but Mitch tells Dawson, and in turn, Dawson tells Joey, showing still cares about Pacey as a friend, despite the fact he’s in love with the girl he’s “supposed” to be with.
SLASH PACEY AND JOEY ARE PERFECT FOR EACH OTHER I CANT EVEN. HE’S NOT GONNA FLUNK OUT THANKS TO JOEY’S HELP Y’ALL
Episode 3
Joey got a job at the local yacht club, so when she can’t go out on Pacey’s boat with him to celebrate an A he got on an assignment, he takes Jen out on his boat instead. However, they fail to take note of the storm that’s a brewin’, and get stuck out at sea. Basically this episode is trying to be A Perfect storm, but ends up being a low budge Titanic.
Concerned for their safety, Dawson puts his love triangle feelings to the side and he steals a boat from yacht club member Mr. Brooks, and he and Joey risk their lives to go find Jen and Pacey. They eventually find the two in peril, but in order to save them, Pacey has to abandon the True Love in the middle of the sea if he wants to stay alive.
It’s actually really heartbreaking seeing how sad Pacey is losing his boat, since it’s the only thing he’s passionate about besides Joey. And that was the boat they just spent the summer on!
Notable Quote:“That’s right it’s a bout two guys, a girl – and no pizza place” The English teacher making a reference that only about 20% of people watching in 2014 will probably get.
Episode 4
Some obnox dude named Drue Valentine (yeah, even his name is obnoxious) is introduced. He is an ass and knows Jen from her wild days in New York. He tells people it’s Jen’s birthday (it’s not) just so he can throw a party. At said party, Joey gets wasted because she’s worried about Pacey’s grades, and he literally has to carry her home and through the threshold.
Meanwhile, Jen has a Sixteen Candles reenactment with Drue, but he ruins it when he gives her a birthday present of ecstasy. Reformed Jen scolds Drue and leaves with the cake. JK she doesn’t take the cake, but wouldn’t that be amazing?
Notable Quote: “Some people like salad dressing on the salad. Some people like it on the side.” Drunk Joey making absolutely no sense at all.
Episode 6
Pacey is still not over this boat. He actually says, “I miss True Love something fierce.” I never knew someone could love a boat so much.
The gang goes to a rave and because they’re trying to be on friendly terms, Dawson & Gretchen (who are totes on the verge of becoming a couple) and Pacey & Joey (who is wearing earrings and it’s jarring for her Girl Next Door look) carpool together and it’s not awkward at all.
PS: Is this really what a rave looks like? Because my rave knowledge is based on the Saved by the Bell: The College Years episode where Zach paints the walls of their dorm rooms black and makes people pay to hang out in the dark. At the DC rave, there’s a bouncy house and a random couch in the middle of one of the rooms of this… warehouse?
Andie finds out she gets accepted into Harvard, but still isn’t happy, so she decides to also go to the rave, however the ecstasy that Drue tried to give Jen has found its way to Andie, and poor choices – she takes the X. Hey, remember that Andie is cray? She is still on anti-depressants which can’t be good. The mixture of the drugs makes her pass out and have convulsions so she’s taken to the hospital. Don’t worry, she’s fine.
Notable Quote: “Nothing propels you into adulthood faster than the next generation nipping at your heels.” Dawson Leery, saying something profound for once.
Episode 7
70+ eps and I think this fake theme song is finally growing on me. Send for help.
Not growing on me: JVDB’s long hair that he keeps brushing out of his face.
Is AOL a sponsor on this now? slash JenLindley1 wouldn’t be her SN it would be more like ‘NYChick01’. Also seeing the time stamp of 11/15/2000 on the screen makes me feel ancient and I should be watching this in a rocking chair sitting on my front porch drinking sweet tea (IDK why I’m an old southern lady in my fantasy old age).
Well it happened folks. I finally cried. Dawson’s Creek has finally made me cry. Andie’s goodbye speech got to me, what can I say?
AND IT IMMEDIATELY STOPPED WHEN I WILL REMEMVER YOU STARTED PLAYING. Enough already Sarah McLachlan.
OKAY. New fave OTP: Jen and Jack. Or at least my OTP for girl/gay guy pairing.
Wait was that really Meredith Monroe’s last episode?? I didn’t think she left mid season? Then again, I know next to nothing about this since I’m 14 years too late, but I seriously thought she would wait until the end of the season.
AND JACK AND ANDIE’S DAD DIED IRL WTF? Apparently the actor who played their dad had a heart attack, and passed away at the age of 55, which is why there was a title card dedicated to him at the end of the episode.
Episode 8
Oh GAWD – it’s a mystery episode. Some pranksters stole the new principal’s boat AND his dog, and placed them both in the school’s pool.
Basically the direction and styling of this episode is so out of DC nature, it’s almost as if Rob Thomas of Veronica Mars took over, but did a reallly bad job with it. Spoiler: Turns out it was the unlikely trio of Jack, Dawson and Pacey. Badasses.
IDK if it’s because of her relationship w Pacey but Joey /Katie has really grown up both character and acting wise. Props.
Notable Quote: “Yeah, the dog fingered me.” Jack, using a poor choice of words when admitting it was the dog that gave his guilt away.
Episode 9
Sorry to go back to the Run Like Mad theme song but I can’t help but think there are kids out there watching this for the first time who don’t know this isn’t the real theme song! For instance, my friend started watching Parenthood a couple of seasons after it started, and the theme song on the DVDs is When We Were Young by Lucy Schwartz, and when she finally caught up with the episodes airing on TV, it was the official Bob Dylan – Forever Young theme song. Blew her mind.
JACK APPLIED TO EMERSON FOR JEN!!! Along w Bard, Brown, Columbia, Sarah Lawrence and BU, but EMERSON! (FYI, that’s where I went to college). Will she get in?!
MAYBE I’M CRYING AGAIN OKAY. MAYBE I’M FALLING HEAD OVER HEELS FOR PACEY WITTER TOO. MAYBE I NEED TO SEE A PROFESSIONAL ABOUT THIS.
anndndd Gretchen and Dawson finally get it on. By get it on, I mean kiss, because it’s Dawson, not Jen. And guess who catches them – lovebirds Joey & Pacey.
Episode 10
What’s with Pacey and these Hawaiian shirts? Why am I just noticing this is his thing four seasons in? Actually, has this always been his thing? He’s like the kid on MasterChef Junior (stop. it was really good ) who only wore Hawaiian T-shirts.
Jen has forced Jack to get in touch with his homosexuality, so the two of them join this Gay-Straight Teen Coalition and meet this guy who Jack is hatin on, but clearly that’s just sexual tension. No, really.
Okay am I hormonal IDK but I just cried again because Dawson gave Joey a pic of her and Pacey at the Christmas party and I cannot. THEY’VE COME SO FAR. THEY’RE GROWING UP.
YO are there new writers on this show or something because shit got real. Thoreau and everything you kiddin me?
Joey: “Near the end of March 1845, I borrowed an axe and went down to the woods by Walden pond, nearest to where I–”
Mr. Kasdan: What’s the most important word in that sentence?
Joey: Woods?
Mr. Kasdan: Borrowed. The important thing to remember about the transcendentalists is that while self-reliance is a most admirable trait, Thoreau wasn’t really all that alone out there by Walden pond. He had neighbors, friends, people he could rely on. We should all be so lucky.
Realizing she needed Pacey’s help as much as he needs her, they make up and study together with her nephew, and it’s LIT’RALLY a picture into their future.
Notable Quote: “Hey you here for the meeting? Thank god we need more lesbians with decent haircuts.” Toby, thinking Jen is a lesbo at the Gay-Straight Alliance meeting
Jen: Jack, are you embarrassed to be here?
Jack: On gay bowling night? Yeah, I’m embarrassed. Not the gay thing, though. The bowling.
Episode 12
Fun Fact about Pacey (aka Pacey Pukey) he got mauled by a dog on his 14th birthday, which is just one of the reasons why he hates his birthday.
But that didn’t stop his mom from planning a surprise party for him, and despite Joey promising it would just be the two of them on his birthday, she’s planning this party and it’s obviously going to go all kinds of wrong.
Fun Fact #2: His mom is a lesbian. Ok, not really, but his mom is played by Jane Lynch.
I already forgot why pacey isn’t living at home ? But I can see why he doesn’t want to, because his family seems horrible and keep digging on him. How did he become such a good person??
Please note Dawson’s face when he gets caught making out with Gretchen by Pacey & Joey:
Episode 14
So Mr. Brooks, the old guy that Dawson stole the boat from in the Titanic episode, made Dawson do odd jobs for him around the house in order to repay him for stealing his boat and damaging it. Turns out Mr. Brooks was a famous Hollywood director back in his hey day – which was fate for aspiring filmmaker Dawson. Despite the fact he was a Mr. Wilson/curmudgeonly old man, he was just happy to have someone around (and even strike up romance with Grams). Mr. Brooks’ failing health sends him to the hospital, and guess what – he leaves the decision of life or death to 17-year-old Dawson. And this is the doctor who told him that information:
TONY HALE! TONY HALE WITH HAIR!
Meanwhile, the rest of the gang is on some kind of winter retreat with the senior class. Our high school didn’t do school trips like this, so this concept is completely foreign to me. Do schools actually do this? And have kids stay in cabins all weekend??
Well folks they did it. After talking about it incessantly for like 5 episodes, Pacey and Joey finally had sex and all is right with the world. Here’s hoping this doesn’t mean they’ll break up in the next episode.
I also accidentally found out Busy Phillips becomes one of Pacey’s forthcoming GFs/this is a TV show so I’m on edge over an impending breakup. NO ONE TELL ME IF THEY’RE GOING TO GET BACK TOGETHER IN THE END.
Wait. Also, Jen and Jack almost had sex. lawdddd
“I’m sorry Jack. You’re drunk. You’re drunk and lonely and gay.” – Jen, voice of reason
Episode 15
This ep picks up the morning after, and Joey looks like she has some regret about the previous night’s actions. She and Pacey have a lover’s quarrel, in which I’m pretty sure Pacey proposed marriage to Joey. He said, “Could do this the rest of our lives back and forth sweetness and sarcasm.” I mean, he loves her you guys, okay?
All this sex talk between Joey and Pacey is getting annoying. Honestly if you took a shot or even a sip of alcohol everytime they said the word sex on this show you would be dead slash be an alcoholic. And I’m starting to believe this Netflix description is oddly correct. I actually LOLed before I started watching, but now it’s extremely accurate.
Related: how did these writers capture teen angst and drama so well? Frankly, it’s a little scary.
JVDB is like phoning it in right now (and apparently he might haven been, seeing as how he recently revealed he though the show jumped the shark in the season 2 finale). He hasn’t acted since his crying meltdown in the s3 finale. Reminder:
NEVER NOT FUNNY
Slash I should go back and watch Don’t Trust the B- again because I feel like I would have a new appreciation for JVDB.
Jen started going to therapy which is great and awkward and I’m surprised it’s taken her this long, seeing as she came from a broken home, was a troubled young tween in NYC, had to move in with her Grams on the Cape, her grandfather died, her younger jock boyfriend broke up with her and she almost just had sex with her gay best friend.
Joey straight up lied to Dawson, promising him she hasn’t slept with Pacey yet and OMG I am just stepping outside my world of binge watching and Capeside to realize how ridiculous this all is because these people aren’t real HAHAHAHAHA
Episode 17
These kids are getting notes at school to call their parents from the office to find out if they got in to the colleges they applied to. Again, is this a thing that happened back then and/or in public schools, or just for TV? I had to wait to go home and check the mail for a big envelope or little envelope from admissions. And even choosing a school to visit was so different in 2001 – Jen and Jack have VHS TAPES they’re going over (because they’ve decided to go to the same school).
All Joey has to pay is $15k to go to her dream school, “Worthington College” in Boston… which is not an amount she nor her sister can afford, and she didn’t qualify for financial aid. Dawson, who got a shitload of money from old man Mr. Brooks, finally has a good cause to give to – Joey. But she is reluctant to take it, especially because she lied to him about sex with Pacey.
Did I mention this episode is called Admissions? For good reason too. Not only is it about everyone waiting to get into college or deciding where to go, it’s about everyone (finalllly) telling the truth to each other. Here’s a breakdown:
Drue to Jen: The last night she was in NYC, she and Drue got super drunk and super wasted. They started fooling around and her parents caught them, which led to a huge blow out between her and her dad. But Jen just used Drue to provoke her dad. She remembered none of this. (Aside: Jen had sex when she was 12 in her parents’ bed?! Yet another reason why I’m surprised she never went to a therapist earlier.)
Jen to Jack: She might not want to go back to NYC and go to school there as originally planned. Especially since Jack doesn’t seem too gung ho on the idea. They’re still adorbs.
Pacey to Joey: He tells her that while he was happy she got into Worthington, he was also happy it meant she might be staying in Capeside – since he wouldn’t be the one reason keeping her there. 😦 He tells her to make a promise to let him go if she thinks he is holding her back from pursuing her dreams, but she refuses to make the promise. Still. #PaceyWitterDreamMan
Joey to Dawson: Surprise! She and Pacey DID have sex! And you weren’t her first! Wah wah.
Dawson to Joey: Despite the fact he’s unsure about how he feels about Joey sleeping with Pacey, he knows they still have something together – and Joey finally accepts the dead man money for her tuition.
Episode 18
What is happening there is a weird Felicity like transition that’s occurring here…
Joey is accompanying Jen as she goes on a tour of a school in NY, but really, it’s just a ploy for Jen to confront her dad. Joey quickly catches on, and the girls + Jen’s dad (who is just a little too happy and unlike how Jen’s portrayed him that it concerns me) go to dinner at a fancy restaurant. He gives a speech about being in love with NYC like a person and it’s totally creeping me out. It’s like he’s about to kiss Joey. *shivers*
AND OMG JENS DAD LITERALLY SLEPT WITH A 17/18 YEAR OLD GIRL AND JEN SAW IT?!? Lord Licorice help us all. Or just help Jen Lindley. This is exactly why she’s fucked up.
Meanwhile, back in Capeside… Pacey is getting himself into trouble – aka a glimpse of what his life might look like without Joey’s positive influence by his side. Come on Pace. Don’t do this to yourself. You shouldn’t be getting arrest for public drunkeness or hanging out w Drue.
Episode 19
Ok the name of this episode is called Late and my guess is someone – maybe Joey – is pregnant. Or now that I think about it, Gail (Dawson’s mom) hasn’t had the baby yet, so maybe it’s her. Did I mention Dawson’s mom is pregnant? These kids still in their honeymoon phase, I tell ya.
WELL I AM A GENIUS. Joey thinks she’s preggo. Except she can’t talk to Pacey about it because his brother Deputy Doug took him camping to try and talk some sense into him. So she tells Gretchen, which is surprisingly not as awkward as one might that, because despite the fact that she’s mackin on Dawson, she previously revealed that she got pregnant while in college and had a miscarriage, which is why she ended up leaving school and moving back to Capeside.
Dawson and Mitch head up to the tree house in their front yard, clad with cigars, because that’s what you do when you have a new baby. Except Gail hasn’t popped yet. They just look ridiculous in this tree.
Toby, Jack’s almost love interest, gets beat up, and tells Jack he got mugged, but he knows he’s lying and got beat up because he’s gay.
Jen is knitting on a wooden swing what is going on
For the record I think bringing in the character of Gretchen was absolutely brilliant. They needed someone to make Pacey and Joey’s relationship acceptable, especially with Dawson. And Gretchen and Dawson already had a prior friendship started so it was believable. Not to mention that she’s been great to Pacey and Joey and is a don’t of knowledge and maturity that was seriously lacking in their lives before.
Paceeyyyy I’m not approving of all this lying. Yet again he didn’t tell Joey the truth, and even though she knows he’s camping, he just told her that he’s fishing with Dougie.
Oh and Dawson’s mom has the baby – who they name Lillian after Joey’s dead mom. Cue tears.
Notable Quote: “Tell them you fell off your high horse.” Jack to Toby after he was attacked
Episode 20
Well folks, it’s senior prom, so they gotta make this one count. Except the episode is called Promicide, so I don’t think the odds of it going swimmingly is good.
Jack mans up and decides to invite Toby as his date, while Jen, who was perfectly happy going stag, is forced to go with Drue. Jen’s in for a rough night and as soon as I said, “Oh Jennifer” out loud to know one, she pulled a nip/small bottle of alcohol out of her purse. Already off to a bad start.
Poor Pacey – this entire ep is going to be a series of his failures and I’m not emotionally prepared to deal with that. First, he forgets to put the corsages in the fridge, so it’s all dry and shrively, then the janky limo (which actually looks kind of fun and rustic?) appears and it’s not a good sign.
They’re having prom on a boat and I can’t help but think somebody is going to fall off. Is that weird?
Update: Jen almost fell off the most but Pacey might as well have jumped off because he just went OFF on Joey and I literally had to watch with my hands over my face. This isn’t you Pace!
UPDATE NUMBER 2: This is actually the WORST. Pacey and Joey prettyyyyyy much break up and ughhhhh this scene.
Notable Quote: “Pacey, the prom? What are we? in high school?” – Joey “Yeah. We are in high school the last time I checked.” – Pacey, serving up realness.
Episode 21
So this guy at the yacht club that has ties to Worthington met with Joey & Pacey earlier in the season, and now he wants to meet with Pacey again to talk to him about something important. Perhaps it could be some kind of loophole where Pacey can join Joey at college?!?! The problem is that he wants to talk to him at this event and Joey has to bring Pacey as her date – except they’re kind of broken up? Awkward.
Gretchen is planning to move to Boston for a new job, and Dawson just got a crazy idea to move there with her instead of attending his high school graduation and going to his dream school of USC. But before he gets the chance to run away with her, Gretchen, the only real sensible person on this show, knows he’s not ready for it, and leaves without him. Also, Dawson talking to his sister is actually the cutest. This baby is the cutest.
Jen convinces Grams to move to Boston with her and Jack while they go off to college. “Peace out Capeside. Eat my dust!” (What I imagine Grams yelling as she drives her station wagon at max speed out of the Cape)
Relatedly: Name the brands they were forced to incorporate in this one shot alone:
Ahh Poor Pacey – the Worthington guy offered him a job as his yacht hand for the summer, and not acceptance to college. Wah Wah. But Joey and Pacey decide to literally sleep together one last time before their final break up for reals. Much more peaceful than the prom shenans.
Just did the math and since they graduated in ’01 (which seems like so long ago) that would make them 31 now and that’s a rude awakening. The other day Molly pointed out that this is the 10 year anniversary of Mean Girls – which means we’re closer in age to Ms. Norbury than to the Plastics. So. Not. Grool.
Notable Quote: “Are you sure I wouldn’t cramp your style?” Grams, being the absolute cutest
Episode 22
I am talking to the TV as if he is my friend and I think I need some air or like should leave my room or something because I’m saying ‘Pace’ just like Joey.
Remember how Pacey was on the road to not graduating? Well he’s right on the bubble and needs to pass one final English Lit exam in order to get his diploma. But right before he’s about the take the test, the teacher Mr. Kasden, makes a joke, sending Pacey off the rails saying he’s an idiot and storms out before taking the test. But Kasden, who seems like he’s a meany, is really the only teacher who seems to care in this school, and gives Pacey another chance by going to his house and letting him take the exam. Love how academics still play a part on this show. In Gossip Girl, they never even bothered to show them in college the last couple seasons.
Kasden: Did you study for that final you so dramatically walked out on?
Pacey: I can categorically say that I studied my ass off, sir.
Kasden: Care to prove it?
Pacey: You did hear everything that I had to say in class today, didn’t you?
Kasden: Oh, I did. You’re not an idiot or a punch line. You are why I teach. Those honor students that turn your stomach… they don’t need me. They’re gonna forget me as soon as they walk out the door. But you…
Pacey: I have a funny feeling I’m gonna be telling this story for years to come.
Kasden: And if that should turn out to be the case, please describe me as a strapping, handsome man, possessed of an immense charity and a great, great goodwill.
Pacey: I can do that.
ANDIE!!!!!!! ANDIE IS BACK FROM ITALY!!! She seriously looks like she came back from Italy, tho. I forgot she has to come back and actually graduate. Since she just left to go to Italy after being accepted into Harvard, since that’s a thing you can do IRL. She has a lovely reunion with Pacey and their friendship is really precious. He tells her about the yacht offer and she’s the first person he tells about officially being a college graduate. Why? Because she was the first person that believed in him. Cue the happy tears.
The principal (Harry Shearer) catches Jen and Drue pulling some pranks on his house and as punishment he makes them listen to him “play” the cello. What in the actual fuck.
Okay, as much as I hate this Pacey/Joey breakup, this finding themselves thing is smart. Their final goodbye includes Pacey saying, “I should probably go off and live my own life for a little while. That certainly doesn’t mean that this is how I want it to end between us. So hypothetically speaking… if I were lucky enough one day to find myself owning a sailboat again, and I were to ask the woman that I love to go sailing with me… would she?”
Joey answers, “You wouldn’t have to ask, Pace.”
IF THIS SERIES FINALE DOESN’T END WITH THEM SAILING OFF ON A BOAT CALLED TRUE LOVE 2 I S2G
Joey got something called the ‘Pinnacle Award’, which means she has to give a speech at graduation.
And then the sprinklers go off because Drue finally pulled his last prank. Also the music on this show has turned from 90s pop to 90s Lilith fair indie music what happened?
Notable Quote: “Is this a hat you really want to be wearing when you know people are going to be taking pictures?” THANK YOU DAWSON. GRADUATION CAPS ARE STUPID.
“I can assure you that security will be tighter than Ricky Martin’s pants.” Prinipal Peskin, trying to be relevant.
Episode 23
The final episode of season three fast fowards to the end of the summer, where the gang is preparing to say goodbye. Legit all this entire episode is is basically Joey & Dawson trying to say a proper goodbye to each other.
Meanwhile, Pacey, now an official sailor in the Caribbean, has become Rastafarian and the shirts finally work for him. He calls Dawson, briefly asks how Joey is doing, but mainly wants to say that he only regrets not saying goodbye to him before he left on his sailor mission. Dawson says he’s proud of Pacey and I can’t help but wonder if this is really a conversation two 18 year old boy-men would have over the phone? IDK anything about teenage boys, which I guess, is a good thing?
I will say this show is really good at continuity and throwbacks. Example: this episode is called Coda, or an ending. I won’t bore you with the specifics if you’re not musically theory inclined, but the whole idea of a Coda or if there’s a DS al Coda, it means once you get to the end (the Coda sign), you go back to the Dal Segno sign towards the beginning and end at the Coda.
Anyways, it’s basically a great metaphor for what Dawson and Joey go through in this episode. They watch E.T. together on his bed, just like in the first season. Daydream Believer, the song they used to sing together at Aunt Julie Bowen’s house together, is played in the background. It’s like they’re nearing the Coda sign and are making their way back to the beginning.
Joey tells Dawson he should stay on the east coast and not go to LA for school. And really, if she had told him this earlier, he would have stayed. Just for her. But he insists this chapter of his life in Capeside is over. But then it happens – and I know what’s going to happen and it doesn’t mean I agree with it – but they kiss. And that continuity thing, yeah, the writers/director legit recreated shot by shot the first season finale with Dawson & Joey kissing, while the shot pulls away from Dawson’s house showing only their shilouettes in the window. And I literally said out loud, ‘No don’t do it no NO NO.”
Notable Quote:“You’re either a Mac person or a PC person and that choice defines you.” Mitch predicting the Mac vs. PC commercials
“You know this sucks a lot more than I remembered it.” Dawson, about the horrible horror film they made back in the pilot.
“I can’t swear to you that I’ll never try some variety of narcotic, but I can promise you I’ll never get so strung out I steal your TV.” Dawson, again, being so specific about his hypothetical life choices.
Season 4, arguably my favorite season so far, has come to a close. Will Dawson stay in Capeside or follow his dreams of becoming a bigshot director in LA? Does this kiss mean they’ll start a relationship again? Will Pacey come back from being a sailor, more importantly, will he have dreads? Will Grams, Jack and Jen form some kind of warped Animal House in Boston? Tune in next month to find out!
Anddd we’re back! A review of Dawson’s Creek Season 3 comin’ at ya like shards of broken glass after Andie McPhee breaks a mirror in the bathroom. If you’re just joining us, I’ve been watching DC from the beginning, because as a tween I missed out on this major pop culture experience and would like to see what all the hubbub is like as an adult (You can read my season one and season two recaps here).
At the end of season two, The Potter family restaurant catches on fire all because of Joey’s drug dealer dad who goes back to jail per the nudging of Dawson, which makes them split up yet again. Andie’s off in the looney bin, Pacey’s trying to deal with the fact Andie’s off in the looney bin, Jack is still gay and Jen is still trying to make sense of her life. Got it? Here we go.
Episode 1
In general, I’d like to say that it’s interesting to watch this without knowing the cultural impact from the outside. Like obviously when this was on in real time circa 1999, the main cast were huge stars. By this point, James Van Der Beek, Katie Holmes, Michelle Williams and Joshua Jackson were also off doing major movies like Varsity Blues, Teaching Mrs. Tingle, Dick and Cruel Intentions, respectively. I vaguely remember it being big, but it’s funny how none of that matters – or even shows – when you watch it years later after their popularity has come and gone.
Anyways, school has started and Joey not talking to Dawson isn’t the most awkward thing about this episode.
It’s that Jen Lindley is becoming a cheerleader. And these cheerleaders – are typical bitchy Jawbreakers like girls who just want to ruin everyone’s lives and literally use the phrase ‘you look like a prize hog’ about an overweight girl who wants to try out.
It’s that Dawson has met a rando girl who is a stripper (?) and super mysterious and I hate her.
It’s ACTUALLY that Joey comes back to Dawson and attempts to have sex with him but he’s all no thank you and it’s a whole bunch of second-hand embarassment. Joey is clearly not going to be able to face Dawson anytime soon, so he asks Pacey to look after her and make sure she’s okay… ruh roh.
Notable Quote: “It’s a new year. You never know. You and I might even become friends.” Pacey to Joey and I cannot wait to see how this plays out (spoiler alert: I know they’re going to be a couple, I just don’t know when and for how long!)
Episode 2
Since Dawson’s dad became the coach of the Capeside High football team and Jack’s the first openly gay football player on the team, I’m half expecting someone to get hurt during the game and get stuck in a wheelchair and they’re all like ‘Cape Cod Forevahh’, essentially turning it into an episode of Friday Night Lights.
Dawson gets caught making out with Mysterious (Summer’s) Eve at the Homecoming game in front of the entire school, kinda like Hugh Grant making out with Natalie at the Christmas Pageant in Love Actually.
Dawson’s in shock, yet still takes a bow and stands on stage for a while, soaking in the applause.
Notable Quote: “I’m just a girl standing in a janitor’s closet. Asking him to kiss her.” MS Eve to Dawson or first draft of Notting Hill’s best line?
Episode 5
Hey what happened to Joey’s brother-in-law? Too many black people on the show? Seriously, why have I not seen him since season one?
Basically this MS Eve storyline is that she goes by the name Eve Whitman, and ironically, I really hope they wrap up this Dick Whitman/Mad Men storyline up real soon because it’s getting annoying.
Okay, I guess we’re learning things because Jen’s mom apparently had another kid and that’sMS Eve??
Notable Quote:“Mrs. Ryan, who is that in that picture?” Dawson
“Oh we’ll that’s our Lord Jesus Christ as interpreted by one of our gifted young Sunday school students.” Mrs. Ryan/Grams
“I meant the one below it.” Dawson (turns out it’s Jen’s mom, it’s the same pic Eve had when she said she was looking for her mom)
Episode 6
DRAG QUEENS. DRAG QUEENS AT A CAPESIDE GALA. I CANNOT.
Episode 7
Wait now Dawson works at the video store? And why are there random pop corn boxes being used as replacements for VHS tapes? Was this some kind of contest the WB held to count how many popcorn boxes you can find in the episode and then whoever wins gets a free t-shirt with a WB frog on it?
Okay so we know the show’s creator Kevin Williamson was also the guy who did the Scream movies, but is he really going to make Halloween parody episodes every year? This particular one leaves them at a creepy island and it’s like Blair Witch meets The Craft meets Professor Trelawney’s Potion’s class from Harry Potter.
Notable Quote: “Nobody brought snacks? No Doritos? No Ho Hos?” Pacey to his ‘friends’ and their lack of thought into their adventure. This line isn’t even that funny but the way it was delivered was pure gold.
“Roswell’s on in five minutes.” Jen to Pacey, which is also comical because Roswell was on after DC in 1999 AND Jason Behr, who played the rich guy that hosted the Cosmo sex quiz party S2, was on Roswell. WB INCEST.
Episode 9
I just noticed this but Alex Gansa is an executive producer on this show – this is the guy who currently runs Homeland. Alex Gansa is responsible for both Dawson Leery and Carrie Mathison. Think about that one for a second…
Guys it’s happening… I’m starting to ship pacey and Joey. It could be a problem. I’m warning you now. Joey recruits Pacey for these dance lessons to try to get a scholarship in exchange for tutoring him in math. Except Dawson thinks they’re having an affair and it all comes to a head at the end.
Here we are again with Dawson vs. Joey vs. Pacey triangle but I have to say this story line is starting to stretch the limits of believability. Maybe I just want Pacey and Joey together already, but really, their bickering is so sophomoric… You guys are Juniors now, come onnn.
Notable Quote: “I’m trying to lead but Janet Reno here doesn’t exactly make it easy on a fellow, you know what I’m saying?” Pacey can’t dance, neither can Joey and it’s like the best meet-cute if they hadn’t met already.
Episode 10
Dawson, Joey, Jack and Andie all head to Boston to check out Harvard (because that’s a common thing that 4 friends are all considering the same Ivy League school). Joey meets this douchebag guy, Andie befriends the Dean’s secratary and Dawson meets a girl who is also interested in filmmaking.
This person look familiar? Because it’s Bianca Lawson – BIANCA LAWSON WHO DOES NOT AGE. Like Stacey Dash has nothing on her. She played a teenager in Saved by the Bell: The New class (’93), Sister, Sister (’96), Buffy (’98), Save the Last Dance (’01), and Pretty Little Liars (’12). YOU TIME TRAVELLING DEMON.
Meanwhile, Jack is still out (literally) checking the gay scene in Boston and as someone who went to a school in Boston where the unofficial slogan was ‘Gay by May or your money back,’ I can vouch for the gay scene there. Poor Jack though, he straight up (gay up?) ran away from a guy in a gay bar because he was so nervous and didn’t know what to do. Bless.
Episode 12
Update: Bodie (Joey’s brother-in-law/Bessie’s husband who I’ve been calling Jeff?) is back and they’re acting like we were supposed to know where he’s been? Am I missing something? Quite possibly.
Episode 15
Joey’s painting some mural on the wall of the school and Pacey comes to visit and all I can think about is when they’re getting together. Does it happen in like the third to last episode and there’s a kiss and they won’t address their real feelings until the season finale? Come onnnn.
However, I must say that the writing as improved so much since the first season – it’s less cheesy and the dialogue is more Gilmore Girls-y than Saved By the Bell-y.
And then someone vandalizes Joey’s mural and Pacey and Dawson (mainly Pacey) go on a man hunt to find who did it. And here’s some dialogue proving Pacey is starting to become the only smart person on this show. Everything he says in this bit o’ dialogue is why he is such a good guy at heart and is clearly in love with Joey.
Pacey: Well, not to stick my nose in here, but to just stick my nose in, of course it was a personal attack.
Dawson: What?
Pacey: Well, there are only three murals in that hallway. Yours was the only one that got touched.
Dawson: So?
Pacey: So, either someone didn’t like what Joey was trying to say, or someone just didn’t like you.
Dawson: Your logic leaves a lot to be desired.
Pacey: Dawson, we’re in high school here. It’s a veritable society unto it’s own, with a pecking order that makes the caste system look forgiving. Who knows what subtle line you may have crossed or what offence you may have given, without even knowing it.
Dawson: Paranoid much?
Pacey: You don’t think there’s a possibility that there’s somebody out there who hates Joey just for being Joey? Who hates the way she talks, the way she dresses, the way she chews on her lower lip?
Joey: Look, I don’t chew on my lower lip.
The guy who Pacey beats up because he thinks he vandalized the mural, Matt Caufield, legit looks like 25 and not a 25 who passes for a 17 year old.
In fact all of the main cast are starting to look older. James van der Beek legit looks like a college kids visiting his old high school on Christmas break. And where is Jen? Shooting a movie? Just because Bessie’s MIA hubs is back means they had to take Jen off the payroll.
Notable Quote: “I did what any self-respecting kid would do in the cellular age, you know? I whipped out my Startac, I dialed home.” Man-child Matt Caufield, encapsulating the 90s in a single line.
“That’s what I like about you Pacey. You just go so deep.” Josephine Potter THAT’S WHAT SHE SAID THAT’S WHAT SHE SAID!
Episode 16
Ah yes the time old tradition of an episode that deals with race! Basically Principal Green, who is black (and Bianca Lawson’s father) decided to expel Man-child Matt for vandalizing the mural (despite being an arrogant, rich, over-privileged white kid) and the parents were pissed off because he had such a hard punishment. The school board is about to go all HAM on Principal Green and removed him from his post because they ‘don’t agree with his decision’ but Joey organizes a Save Mr. Green rally in an attempt to keep his job.
At the rally, a bunch of students show up, telling their own personal touching stories with Mr. Green, including Minkus from Boy Meets World?
Proud Pacey even intros Joey and he’s wearing a Boston Bruins jersey and REMEMBER WHEN JOSHUA JACKSON STARTED HIS CAREER IN THE MIGHTY DUCKS AND HE’S PROVEN HE’S NOT JUST SOME CHILD STAR?!
I’M SORRY I HATED ON THIS EPISODE BUT NOW IM OVERWHEMLINGLY EMOTIONAL AND THERE IS SOMETHING IN MY EYE MAKING ME TEAR UP BECAUSE THESE KIDS ARE JUST BEING SO RESPECTFUL TO THEIR PRINCIPAL AND HE’S LEAVING FOR SUCH A STUPID REASON BUT HE’S ONLY DOING WHAT’S BEST FOR THE KIDS AND HE’S SO PROUD OF THEM NOT JUST FOR FIGHTING FOR HIM BUT FOR SPEAKING UP AND STANDING TOGETHER FOR A CAUSE AND THEY EVEN LINED UP IN THE HALLWAY AND DID A SLOW CLAP FOR HIM AS HE LEFT
And this is an actual song that played while he walked down the hallway to really hammer the theme home.
Also, Pacey bought rented an entire brick wall so Joey can actually paint a mural. Like, let’s get ‘er done folks.
Episode 17
Pacey’s punishment to punching the lights out of Man-Child Matt is to be a mentor to a kid, and that kid is Jonathan Lipnicki.
Pacey with a witty child is my favorite thing – next to Pacey with a witty Joey.
THEY KISSED IT HAPPENED Y’ALL WHAWT IS WRONG WITH ME
Episode 19
Joey’s all ‘mad’ that Pacey kissed her, so natch this causes awkwardness between them because she knows she obvs likes him. Too bad they’re spending the weekend away in the same house 24/7 with a young Julie Bowen as Dawson’s cool Aunt Gwen. Joey and Dawson visit her every year because she’s all hippie and cool and the rest of the gang follows.
AND BY COOL AUNT GWEN I MEAN CLAIRE DUNPHY IS A COCK BLOCK WHO WON’T LET JOEY AND PACEY KEEP KISSING.
Slash I’m kind of in love with the scene. Joey admits that she actually felt something between them and … PACEY WITTER, DREAM MAN.
Joey: This morning. Your arm brushed up against me in bed, and… And I felt it.
Pacey: How did it feel?
Joey: Made me feel alive.
Pacey: Ok. Joey… I’m going to kiss you now.
Joey: You can’t.
Pacey: Jo, you can’t say something like that to me and expect me not to kiss you, so that’s exactly what I’m gonna do. I’m gonna kiss you in about 10 seconds. And if you don’t want me to kiss you… Well, if you don’t want me to, I guess then you’re just gonna have to stop me. 10.
Episode 20
They’re employing this ‘tell a story from the beginning multiple times from different perspectives’ that many a series and movie employ and guess what – it actually works. I bet the writers had this idea in their arsenal for years but wanted to keep it until it was a special episode and this was definitely it.
That being said I totally get all this teen angst and everything but it’s so annoying that Joey would just give up this potential relationship for Dawson, who they’ve already established is not going to work out with. I get it, but looking at this situation as an adult and watching these kids it’s frustrating that they can’t just work their shit out. I guess that’s what teenage angst years are for.
Episode 22
Dawson holds an anti-prom because the real prom folks won’t let Jack bring another guy as a prom date, proving that Dawson’s good guy streak. Joey ends up going with Dawson and Pacey with Andie, who clearly bought all her items – including her makeup – from the DeLiA*s catalog.
Have I become incensed or is Dawson acting like a little bitch who doesnt belong w Joey ? Like GTFO. I mean he kissed Joey and I literally said ‘gross’ out loud… I think I’ve binge watched too fast…
And I’m so over Dawson’s parents being all lovey-dovey then deciding to divorce then not divorcing. Dawson’s just like his parents trying to hold on to something they had in the past.
Episode 23
You know who has turned into not an asshole? Deputy Doug Witter. He purposely pulled Joey over to warn her about Pacey leaving.
And I guess I was wrong about Dawson’s parents. They’re getting remarried. And Dawson’s the best man and Joey’s the maid of honor. lolololol.
Grams decides to be youthful and go on a road trip in the name love and drives hours to find a bus with Jen’s boyfriend who’s going off to football camp and Jack’s friend who he was afraid to kiss because he had never kissed a guy before. And she’s reallly excited to see her granddaughter get some. Also, I am more giddy about Jack finally getting some gay action than anyone else on this show. Ok sans Pacey/Joey. Jocey? Pacey? Oh wait.
OH MY GOD. As a frequent user of the internet and reader of ONTD I have seen this ‘Dawson Crying’ GIF/Meme make its rounds online. When I started watching DC, I wondered when I would be able to watch the GIF in all its glory. And I totally forgot until now. I have a feeling it’s about to happen and I literally paused to type this because I need to prepare myself.
BEFORE THE STORM:
GUYS I GOT TOO CARRIED AWAY W THE SCREEN SHOTS ON MY COMPUTER THAT IT KEPT PAUSING AND I HAD TO WATCH THE SCENE LIKE 3 TIMES AND IT TOTALLY RUINED MY EXPERIENCE BUT OH MY GOD I CANNOT STOP LAUGHING
AFTER:
CAN U EVEN
So Dawson’s butt hurt that Joey’s leaving him for Pacey, and Joey runs to meet Pacey before he sails away. BUT – this bitch had time to change her clothes, despite the fact she literally ran away from the wedding and she’s now running to the dock to stop Pacey from travelling the seas without her all summer ?? AND she’s worried about the lack of clothing. Honestly, you knew you were going there to get on board with him so bring a bag or something. And money.
DOES SHE NOT LOOK LIKE SURI HERE HOLY SMOKES
And then when they were sailing away I felt a sense of familiarity as if I had seen it before, but then upon discussing it with Molly, realized it reminded me of The OC season 1 finale when Seth sails away on his boat to Catalina, which seemed far at the time, but now that I live in LA, realize it’s really not that far. It made it seem like he was sailing to Hawaii by himself.
Side note: per my research, Katie Holmes and Joshua Jackson only dated the first two seasons which would potentially make this awkward for them, but she said they had a “Dawson-Joey type relationship”? Okay. Luckily it’s not weird and their chemistry just oozes from the screen. Remember when Adam and Rachel broke up but still shot a WEDDING SCENE in The OC!? Oops sorry. Spoiler alert?
So what will happen next? Will the True Love-birds make it on their three month adventure still obsessed with each other or will they sink like the Titanic? Is Dawson still crying on his dock?
Alright folks. I may have been a product of the 90s, but I was never really a Dawson’s Creek fan. Watching it as a middle schooler meant sitting in my living room while my parents were there. Because I knew that the show involved ‘kissing’ I didn’t want to risk being around them while it happened on TV.
So in saying that, I’ve probably seen a total of 5 episodes of DC in my life. Overall, I know the big plot lines (Andie goes cray, Jack is gay, and Jen doesn’t have a happy ending), but not the details of each season. And because the winter hiatus came creeping in and I am psycho and ran out of new episodes to watch, I decided to start a new series. Thanks Netflix, for contributing to my addiction.
While there’s a good number of gals (and guys) my age that have probably seen it or are dedicated fans, I figured I would represent the other half that never really got into it or haven’t seen it at all. To help us all learn more about 90s pop culture, teens in that era, and really, learn more about ourselves, I thought I’d do a quick overview of each of the six seasons from the perspective of an adult. Enjoy!
Episode 1: Pilot
This show is just so 90s I can’t handle it. I mean Pacey works at a video store. A VIDEO STORE. Honestly, kids growing up now will never know, or possibly don’t know at this very moment what a video store is. Sad yet true fact.
Maybe it’s because I instinctively want BFFs Dawson and Joey to try dating, but I really just don’t believe Jen would ever want to date Dawson. I understand why he’s into the new girl in town who literally walks in with her floral jumper out of a ‘taxi’ and in slow-mo toward him in the most ridiculous way possible. While she probably just wanted to make friends and be liked, this took it a step too far. I’m too old to be watching this show and critically analyzing it, huh?
dat taxi cab doe
So this whole Pacey/teacher affair. I totally forgot about it happening until now. Per my research the whole Mary Kay Letourneau thing happened in 1997, one year before DC premiered – so all of this was fresh in the audience’s mind. Despite the fact shows like Law & Order: SVU ‘rip from the headlines’ all the time these days, it seems like quite a ballsy move to depict something as controversial as a teacher/student/statutory rape storyline when there’s a story out there that’s still making headlines. Dawson’s Creek – it’s nothing if not cutting edge.
Episode 5: Hurricane
I’ve been trying to place where I know Tamara ‘Mary Kay Letourneau’ Jacobs from without looking at IMDb and I finally caved after 5 episodes: she played bitchy Shira Huntzberger (Logan’s passive aggressive WASPy mom) on Gilmore Girls! Someone needs to stress smoke after this affair.
Episode 7: Detention
Speaking of ripping from the headlines, is this the sequel to The Breakfast Club? And is the librarian’s name Mrs. Tingle? JK, it’s Mrs. TRingle. That would’ve been too weird to be the same name as the titular character in a movie Katie Holmes was in. Apparently Kevin Williamson, creator/executive producer of DC, also directed Teaching Mrs. Tingle. It makes sense now.AND OMG HELEN MIRREN WAS MRS. TINGLE?!!? I can’t believe there’s so much I don’t know about this world.
Episode 9: Roadtrip
The opening shot of this episode involved Savage Garden’s Truly Madly Deeply, Dawson staring out his window and in shambles because Jen Lindley broke up with him. That is all.
Episode 10: Double Date
Can we talk about Scott Foley for a second? This was like, at the height of his heartthrob-ness and I can’t take it. There was a point where I was watching him on my TV in this episode while simultaneously reblogging this gif of him and Fitz in a (sexually charged) scene from Scandal. The man just gets better with age.
Joey and Pacey foreshadowing? EHHH? EHH?!?!?? Dawson also needs to stop being a dick and make up his mind. Ugh, teen angst.
Episode 11: The Scare
Again, Kevin Williamson is really into self promoting, or maybe just a masochist and enjoys hinting at his other projects in the ones he’s currently working on, but an entire Scream sequence? Okay. We get it.
Episode 12: Beauty Contest
OH DEAR LORD I HAVE NEVER CRINGED AS MUCH AS I HAVE WHEN WATCHING JOSEPHINE POTTER SINGING ON MY OWN. Why couldn’t they just do it Zefron style and have someone else sing for you? It’s so bad that it’s not even second hand embarrassment anymore. And singing On My Own while Dawson watches in the wings?? Captain Obvious, much?
This ep also had some serious Miss Bayside flashbacks for me too. I was expecting Pacey to pull out from behind and be like Screech, but alas. Some other bitch won Miss Windjammer. And this is also solidified the fact Joshua Jackson is clearly the best actor on the show. All the (Teen Choice) Awards for you, sir.
Episode 13: Decisions
Joey visits her father in prison, and it’s probably because the last ‘jail-related’ show I watched was Orange is the New Black, but I half-expected Pornstache and Pennsawtucky to come out from behind him. Wrong show, wrong jail. Not real.
The thing that we had been anticipating the entire season finally happened. Dawson and Joey kissed… But why do I feel so awk sauce?
WILL JOEY AND DAWSON CONTINUE THEIR KISSING TO THE NEXT SEASON? TUNE IN NEXT TIME TO FIND OUT!
In 1993, the men of Bayside High left Mr. Belding behind and continued on to higher education by attending California University. Now if they were real, which in all honesty they sometimes are in my head, Zack Morris, AC Slater and Samuel ‘Screech’ Powers kicked off their journey exactly 20 years ago this week. “20 YEARS?!”, you say? Yeah. 20 years. 1993 was 20 years ago, and 2003 was 10 years ago, a fact that I always always fail to believe.
Just like real life, Saved by the Bell (the high school era) ended in May, and months later, the crew started college in September and while the constant repeats made us believe this iteration ran on for approx 2 seasons, it actually only ran for 19 episodes. That’s 19 episodes for young, impressionable kids to find out what college life is like through a fake TV show. Seriously, I didn’t know anyone in college at the time, so what I saw on SBTB was what I assumed college (and high school for that matter) was going to be like.
Of course, now I know that it wasn’t really supposed to be treated as a college bible.
Expectation:
All your best friends will go to the same college as you.
Not only will your gang ALL be accepted into the same school, but you will all decide to go there TOGETHER.
Reality:
You will go to college alone.
If you’re lucky, you’ll have a buddy or two. Otherwise, man up and find new friends.
Expectation:
You will share a spacious triple and suite with your roommates
Reality:
You will be crammed into a double with a stranger
Robin Scherbatsky’s cubicle is roughly the size of a normal college dorm room.
Expectation:
You will meet a dreamy boyfriend/girlfriend – and that person will be your professor
Oh Professor Lasky. He was a handsome, single dad who crossed the line with his student/babysitter. At least you’re the reason Kelly decided to finally tie the knot with Zack.
Reality:
You will date randoms and half of them will probably be gay
That’s what college is for, right?
Expectation:
You will be forced to join a sorority/fraternity and undergo a ridiculous hazing process
And that hazing process will include Nickelodeon slime and a frat leader who is actually the younger version of Billy Chambers from Scandal.
Reality:
You don’t have to join Greek Life at all
Nothing against Greek Life, but if you’re like me and are too lazy and poor to join an organized group of friends, this will be a relief.
Expectation:
You will be able to redecorate anything and everything in your dorm
And your suite (which connects the boys room to the girls room) will be big enough for a poker table in the living room.
Reality:
No tacks, staples, tape on the walls, no microwave, no hot plate, no fridge, and absolutely no room for anything.
In reality, not a big deal. But still annoying.
Expectation:
Turning a dorm room into a rave will be super easy and fun and include stolen nitrous oxide from the science department
Painting the walls black will be a breeze! And all these people in a small area won’t break any RA-set sound ordinances or anything.
Reality:
You won’t even go to rave, just a bunch of house parties in dingy apartments/basements, fill your red solo cups with indiscernable types of alcohol
Honestly, all part of the college experience and worth the vomiting for the anecdotes
Expectation:
You will befriend a lab monkey who later escapes but then comes back
This was an actual plot line. And that chimp is actually wearing a dress.
Reality:
No monkeys. No monkeys at all.
Thank God. Although it sounds kinda fun, no? Yeah, no.
Cookies + Sangria 