Tag Archives: fashion

Superbowl XLVIII: Best And Worst Dressed

Posted in Lists, Outfit Girl by

If you’ve ever chosen which team you were rooting for based on who had the better uniforms …. if you take bathroom breaks during the game so that you don’t miss any commercials … if you think that “hut hut hike-er” is a football position, and the only football coach you can name is Eric Taylor … then this post is for you. We present the best and worst dressed of Super Bowl XLVII – Seahawks vs. Broncos.

Best Dressed

Thunder the Horse  in “blonde lady in a cowgirl suit”

Thunder, who is a horse, is wearing Annie Wegener, a blonde human. Annie, in turn, is wearing an orange-and-blue cowgirl outfit. In the background, Number 11 is pretending to be an airplane, like Half Pint during the opening credits of Little House on the Prairie. Thunder is also wearing a studded leather saddle. He opted for a loose, wind-blown ‘do. His shoes are pure metal, and were made by “a farrier.”

Renee Fleming in Vera Wang

Between this outfit and her straight-singing rendition of The National Anthem, Renee Fleming is pure class. [I do admit to a bit of bias because she’s from our hometown.] Fleming wore a form-fitting black Vera Wang gown with a cream-colored wrap, and hit those A5s with ease and – for once – dignity. A mention should also go out to sign language interpreter Amber Zion, whose coat was really cute.

David Beckham in “As Little As Possible”

God bless David Beckham, for making this the Super Bowl where we all win. David Beckham, wearing boxer-briefs from H&M, is really pushing the limits of the FCC’s clothing regulations. Yes, it’s a new day in America, where attractive people of all sexes can wear minimal clothing in order to appeal to the least common denominator of consumer culture. And I love it.

Mary Lou Retton in “An Old Unitard”

I’d have to say my favorite commercial was the Radio Shack one with all the 80s celebs. I like when companies recognize what kind of image they have amongst the consumers and then actually do something about it. It was like people realized they were self-aware this Super Bowl (hint: Sarah MacLachlan and the dog/Audi commercial).

So props to everyone who appeared in this ad, and even more props to Mary Lou who is 46 YEARS OLD AND WEAR A FRIGGIN GYMNASTICS UNITARD.

this is a pic from when she won the gold medal in 1984, not from the Radio Shack commercial in 2014. 30 YEARS AGO.

Although I don’t reallllly think this unitard constitutes May Lou to be among the ‘best dressed’, I just can’t imagine wearing something like this at 46. Or at 28. Or ever.

Bruno Mars and his band in Saint Laurent

I know some people were less-than-enthused about the Bruno Mars halftime show, but the man really brought it. If you’re looking for music that your three-year-old nephew and sixty-something parents will all enjoy, Bruno Mars fit the bill – in style. Mars combines modern pop with 1950s soul influences and Michael Jackson-style showmanship, and his gold blazer with thin lapels, and skinny black tie, was the perfect glitzy take on retro Sam Cooke style. The matching outfits for his combo added to the vintage pop look, and we have to give props to Bruno who, along with Janelle Monae, is doing great things for the pompadour.

The Football Men in Leggings

Well. This ought to put the whole “can you wear leggings as pants” question to bed.

These Bears From The Beats Commercial in Human Clothes

From Ellen Degeneres’s fairly subtle take on Goldilocks (love the cape-coat!) to the creepy looking bears dressed as humans, this commercial was … okay, I suppose.  How much market research was done to determine that the best way to sell headphones is humans dressed as animals dressed as humans? It fell a bit flat, but the multi-layered outfit approach (human! bear! human!) deserved at least a mention.

Worst Dressed

Arnold Schwarzenegger in Some Sort Of Costume

I’m still trying to figure out why it was necessary for him to dress in “character” for this Bud Light commercial. I mean Don Cheadle just showed up with a llama and didn’t have to wear a wig.

Anthony Kiedis in Jeremy Scott meggings

So, here was my the order of my reactions to the Red Hot Chili Peppers’ Super Bowl fashion:

(1) Did they forget their shirts? Because if I remember anything from the Janet Jackson fiasco of ’04, it’s that if you show nipple at the Super Bowl, children will be traumatized and mothers will be self-righteous. I expect swift and terrible FCC sanctions. I am outraged by this blatant nip slip … I guess?

(2) Wait… are they all wearing cut-off dress pants? It looks like a banker tried to turn his work slacks into shorts. This is not cute.

(3) How didn’t I know that Kiedis had leg-sleeve tattoos?

(4) I don’t think those are tattoos. Are they those fake tattoo sleeves like children sometimes wear?

(5) They are man-leggings.  Meggings. Under cut-off Banana Republic-looking slacks. With a “multiple browser windows open” motif. And still no shirt.

Well, you tried to bring a little dignity to the proceedings, Bruno and Renee. You really, really tried.

Joe Namath in Deceased Puppy Bowl Competitors

It’s cold out there (not really, New Jersey was darn warm yesterday), and Joe Namath needed to be protected from the elements. Those puppies died so that Joe Namath might live. Okay, maybe the coat wasn’t made of late Puppy Bowl-ers, but it sure looked like Namath was wearing a Siberian Husky’s dead body. Apparently it was mink. Raise your hand if you started singing “See My Vest” as soon as you saw him:

The Seattle Seahawks in Hand Muffs

In football, it’s important to keep you hands warm – 2 out of 10 fumbles are caused by that thing where your hands get really clumsy because your fingertips are cold. So, it should have come as no surprise that certain Seahawks kept tucking their hands into snug little handmuffs. It’s sensible, it’s functional … but it’s also a winter accessory you usually only see on small children in fancy coats, or Victorian women ice skating in Central Park.

The Football Men in Burrito Costumes

The players kept donning this coat on the sidelines. I’m sure that it’s warm, but I’m also sure that it looks like an overstuffed foil-wrapped burrito from a Tex-Mex street meat vendor. That, or a hastily insulated attic.

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The Worst: Grammys Fashion Through the Years

Posted in Entertainment, Lists, Outfit Girl by

Awards season continues this Sunday with the 56th annual Grammys, a brief distraction from the weekly January fete of movies and television. Like the grown-up version of the MTV VMAs, the Grammys are where the rules of the red carpet are thrown out the window. It’s a show for rockers, rappers, pop stars and singers who are artists and basically wear whatever the hell they want.

Over the years, there have a been quite a few stunning (I mean that in the way that ‘Oh my GOD I am stunned by the egg contraption Lady Gaga is arriving in’, not ‘Beyonce looks stunning in that gold gown’) outfits on the red carpet, and here are just a few to get you prepared for Sunday.

Annie Lennox (1984)

I’m gonna let you take a second and figure out which one is Annie Lennox. Okay good. Now remember when Lady Gaga became Jo Calderone? Yeah, Annie did it first.

Shirley Manson in Garbage – literally (1999)

There’s no better way to promote your own band than by sticking it to the front of your see through dress.

Jennifer Lopez in Versace (2000)

Ah, the infamous green Versace dress. I think this will go down as one of the most recognizable gowns in all of Grammys history. I remember when this happened and everyone making a reallly big deal out of it. 14 years later, it’s funny because I think people would still make a big deal out of it, despite all the Mileys and Lady Gagas of the world.

Christina Aguilera in Versace (2000)

The only thing that could make this more 2000/millennial is if Xtina was wearing butterfly clips in her hair to match the jeweled butterflies on her dress.

Missy Elliot in Versace (2000)

Supa Dupa Fly – and sharp.

Toni Braxton in Richard Tyler (2001)

Lawddd Toni, I know it’s LA but seriously wouldn’t you be cold in this dress? And by dress I mean piece of fabric cut like one of those paper snowflakes you make in elementary school.

Christina Aguilera in Trish Summerville (2001)

The 90s/00s weren’t the best for fashion and Christina wasn’t exempt from the horrors. I don’t know what to be more offended by – the dress that looks like pink fur or the cornrows.

Lil Kim in Chanel (2002)

Beep beep – who’s got the keys to my Chanel jeep? I think Lil Kim was hanging out with Sisqo a little too much.

Sheryl Crow in Henry Duarte (2002)

Honestly, who knew there was a period in Sheryl Crow’s life when she dressed like this? There is literally nothing she is wearing that is redeeming.

Alicia Keys in Christian Dior (2002)

I mean… it’s a nice… teal color?

Mary J Blige in Gucci (2004)

Mary J – you’re better than this. You’re better than a knock off version of Big Bird.

Imogen Heap in items picked from the earth (2007)

Imogen Heap OF TRASH, more like.

OkGo in tapestries (2007)

Two years after this abomination on the red carpet, OkGo went on to make this Grammy winning and viral video for Here It Goes Again, and that’s how most people were first introduced to them. Good thing their faces were covered at these Grammys because holy hell what in the actual fuck is this shit?

M.I.A. in House of Holland (2009)

*All I wanna do is BANG BANG BANG BANG and KACHINNGG dress you in something more appropriate for a woman who is about to pop out a human baby*

Nicki Minaj in Givenchy (2011)

Look, obviously Nicki Minaj has never been one to blend in with the crowd, but this is taking it too far. Even Elvira was probs like, ‘No, honey. No.’

Katy Perry in Armani Prive (2011)

I want to know what Katy’s (and her stylist’s) thought process was when picking this dress. Like, ‘Oh, I know what would make this BEYOND. ANGEL WINGS. YASS.’

Lady Gaga in Egg (2011)

Ok, we’re bouts to get personal for a second. In 2010 and 2011, I was lucky enough to be in the bleachers at the end of the red carpet at the Grammys. Both times, it was a complete blur, because every single artist that walked the red carpet was mere feet in front of me and I can’t even begin to list everyone I saw. From Beyonce to Rihanna to Miley, it was a veritable who’s who of the music business. In saying that, I was also there for this magic moment when Lady Gaga arrive in an egg.

There were rumblings trickling down the carpet, because obviously if Lady Gaga is coming to an event, you’re wondering what ridiculous getup she’s going to wear. This time around, it wasn’t what she was wearing that was buzzing about but what she was literally in that made people’s heads turn. IRL, it was the weirdest thing I’ve ever seen in my life, because the egg was actually kind of see through and you could vaguely tell she was in there incubating. Not that weird for Gaga, but weird for everyone else.

That being said, in doing research for this post, I found a picture of me being SUPER excited to be inches away from Gaga because she was waving to us (especially the gay little monster next to me). I am crying laughing at this picture.

Photo Feb 13, 1 50 29 PM

Fergie in Jean Paul Gaultier (2012)

This dress is almostttt there. Almost. Except for the whole see through thing.

Nicki Minaj in Versace (2012)

This guy plays Santa during the holidays at the Glendale Galleria and needed the extra cash to play the pope*.

*Not true. But he’s wondering what he got himself into with this one.

Golden Globes 2014 – Best and Worst Dressed

Posted in Entertainment, Outfit Girl by

Well folks, with the Golden Globes behind us, awards season is officially in full swing. And with that, Hollywood’s best and brightest call up their designer friends (or really, vice versa) for hand-picked gowns which will either be feted or shat upon. and we’re here to add to the noise. Did your favorites make the list? Think we got it wrong? Let us know!

Traci’s Picks:

Best Dressed

Lupita Nyong’o in Ralph Lauren

I mean can you even. I remember when Gwyneth Paltrow was one of the first ladies to wear a cape to the red carpet– and I wasn’t sure about this new fad. However with Lupita I am SO SO SO into it. She looks flawless, with a beauty that isn’t trying too hard – or trying at all. She may not have won a Globe but she should be at the top of everyone’s best dressed lists.

Amy Poehler in Stella McCartney

Well, no surprise here. Amy is wearing one of her fave designers and that friendship has worked to her advantage because the dress looks perfect on her (it’s worth noting that it was custom made for Queen Amy). The only thing that makes it look better – her Golden Globe.

Amy Adams in Marchesa

I love a good color block. And Amy looks gorge in this gown, which apparently was inspired by her American Hustle costumes. And I’m ok with it.

Olivia Wilde in Gucci

It delights me when pregnant celebs opt to show off their baby bumps but still manage to look glamorous at the same time. This is pregnancy chic, y’all.

Sarah Hyland in Georges Hobieka

Sarah Hyland is usually on the cusp of my lists- either for the better or the worse but this time around it’s for the better. She looks ethereal in this flowing salmon dress and her Valentino runway inspired hair is the perfect match for the gown.

Worst Dressed

Paula Patton in Stephane Rolland Couture

Paula Patton’s dress at the Golden Globes or a Georgia O’Keefe painting come to life? Talk about your Blurred Lines. Amirite, ladies?

Zoe Saldana in Prabal Gurung

Oh Zoe. You’re usually on top of it on the red carpet, but instead, you took it, chopped it up and vomitted it back out and came back with this thing.

Edie Falco in Lanvin

I wouldn’t pin Edie Falco as a fashion trendsetter per say, but she’s been to enough of these awards shows to know that this does not look good – either IRL or on camera. It looks like she got some satin from the sheets of Hugh Hefner’s bed and placed it on top of her person. Stop imagining Hefner’s bed.

Drew Barrymore in Monique Luhillier

Remember what I said about pregnancy chic? Yeah, this isn’t it. Bless. Still love you Drew.

Bernice Bejo in Giambattista Valli

If you’re wondering who this is, you’ll probably remember her as the girl in The Artist, you know that huge movie from a couple years ago? Yeah. It’s been a while since she’s see these awards shows, so let’s just blame it on that.

Molly’s Picks:

Best Dressed

Lupita Nyong’o in Ralph Lauren

Just really shamelessly getting another picture of Lupita Nyong’o onto the site. Traci nailed it: Nyong’o isn’t even trying to be so beautiful (short hair, light makeup), she just IS. So, the perfect dress for her has a bit of interest (the cape) but is otherwise minimalist so the focus is on Lupita, not the clothes.

Michelle Dockery in Oscar De La Renta

Be sure to look at some close-ups of the pattern and beading on this. As a fellow milk-white person, I appreciate how Dockery really sells her coloring. Elegant works better for Michelle’s look than edgy, and she knows it, but the mullet skirt adds an on-trend touch.

Cate Blanchett in Armani Prive

Somehow, despite being a gown of sheer black lace with Swarovski crystals on the tulle-lined skirt, this manages to look restrained. In close-ups, the bodice is beautifully constructed.

Mila Kunis in Gucci

There’s restraint, and then there’s “screw it, this is one of the most formal events a person gets to go to and I’m going to wear a fabulous metallic silver gown.” I like that approach, too. The delicate lower part of the skirt balances the heavy metallics and bold neck detail.

Zooey Deschanel in Oscar de la Renta

I’ll be honest: this actually falls somewhere between best and worst for me, but it’s getting a lot of buzz and I think we should talk about it. I can’t decide whether I LOVE the monochrome, multi-textured look as a whole, but the individual pieces (shoes! crop top!) are fab. I think there was something “off” about Deschanel’s eye makeup, because every time I saw her I thought she looked different than usual around the eyes – sleepy, almost.

Worst Dressed

Emma Watson in Dior

Let’s call a spade a spade: this is a glorified apron. Remember when skorts and culottes were in style, and you’d go into third grade and be like “guess what? This isn’t really a skirt!” That isn’t a good approach on the red carpet. Watson gets points for trying something different, and for the color combo of that dress (drants? dracks? dreggings?) and those shoes.

Megan Mullally

Oh, honey. No.

Julia Roberts in Dolce and Gabana

Roberts’ look is “trying something on over your clothes because there’s no open fitting room” or “overly modest Duggar-type girl who wears extra shirts under everything so nobody can see her collarbone.” The only excuse for this is if Roberts got some bad sleeve tats and doesn’t want us to see.

Zoe Saldana in Prabal Gurung

Prabal Gurung is hit or miss with me, and this was a wide miss. One commentator said that this evokes Saldana’s “ballet background,” which I guess is true, in that it looks like several of my five-year-old niece’s recital costumes sewn together.

Usher in Calvin Klein Collection

This is already making some best dressed lists, but I’m going to go against the grain and say that there’s a time and a place for an Oxblood suit. The time is never and the place is nowhere.

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Best of C+S 2013: Totally Radical 90s Style

Posted in ICYMI: The Best of Posts You Might Have Missed, Outfit Girl by

To close out Week One of our “best of” posts, we’d like to remind you that none of us looked cool in the 90s. Sure, those teenage tumblr-ers and youtube-ies will try to tell you that we all looked super stylish. However, they weren’t there, they don’t understand, and for half a decade, all of our butts looked like ice-cream cones.

~~~~~~~~

90s Fashion Myths vs. Realities

Originally Posted on October 8

Listen, young ladies on tumblr. You’re all into the 90s look, and that’s great, I suppose. I mean, from my perspective it’s the very definition of not great, because it means that I am now old enough to have worn a “vintage” trend the first time around, but bully for you.

Here’s the deal, though. You’re getting it wrong. Your romanticized version of the 90s is super cute, but that’s not how it was. It was awkward, frumpy, and all around unfortunate. Our shirts were too wide and short by a good stretch. Our jeans made us look ice cream cone-shaped. Regardless of season or latitude, everyone was dressed for a Seattle winter. Inspired by our live blog of Hocus Pocus, I present a fashion companion to all you tumblr girls who were born after the early 90s: You Weren’t There, You Wouldn’t Understand

Jeans

Myth:

Everyone wore distressed, slouchy “boyfriend” pants or sleek, high-waisted, taper-legged denim.

Reality:

Yeah. Our waists were high all right. But do you know what lay between the high waist and the tapered ankle? A foot-long butt. While the modern iteration of these pants has a slim fit, there was no “skinny’ in 90s jeans. Rather, there was a ton of fabric, so that your frame would blossom out after your waist, only to end in a vice grip around your ankles. We all looked like gorgeous ice cream cones.

In terms of denim, the acid wash and stone wash we wore had NOTHING in common with today’s distressed denim. It looked almost like the cover of a marble composition notebook. We didn’t do subtlety very well back then. And if you weren’t wearing that – and this never shows up on your tumblrs – you were wearing super-bright, almost indigo blue denim.

Flannel

Myth:

We all wore big, cozy flannel shirts a la Kurt Cobain or – let’s be real – Angela Chase.

Reality:

Well, we did… kind of. I remember being so excited in second grade to get a slouchy flannel for Christmas – so I could look like Cory Matthews. So, I want you to think less Nirvana and more TGIF. Most of us didn’t look like angsty grunge musicians, we looked like honor roll kids from nice families who were trying to stay comfy.

Leggings

Myth:

Underneath our Seattle flannels or stylish tunic tops, we showed off our toned, aerobicized legs in leggings, topped off with Doc Martins.

Reality:

Every kind of pants in the 90s made you look like you were wearing diapers. I think leggings had a little less elastic then, plus most of the ones we had were stirrup leggings. Yeah. In the 90s, stirrups weren’t just for horseback riding and your gyno’s office. So, pants were well secured at the waist and ankles, and kind of saggy and sad in between. On our feet? Keds.

Hair

Myth:

Our hair fell in long, devil-may-care waves and curls, kind of like Lorde.

Reality:

Those big 80s bangs didn’t really die until the mid-90s. We didn’t wear loose waves, we wore spiral perms. If you wanted to look really polished, you probably had The Rachel, and if you wanted to look really professional, you had Princess Diana’s haircut. In the late 90s, we didn’t wear long, subtle side bangs like all of you kids. We had light fringes that we painstakingly curled under with round brushes, so your forehead was under a protective hair-dome. There was a lot of half-up, half-down happening. Lots of claw clips. Scrunchies. Seasonal scrunchies, classy scrunchies, denim scrunchies. One of the first times I remember getting a big laugh in a crowded room, I was about 5 and was making up a commercial for scrunchies at Thanksgiving with my extended fam. “Scrunchies! Because real bracelets are for snobs! Scrunchies! Because you could put it in your hair later, maybe!” (See, the whole thing with scrunchies was that they just ended up on everyone’s wrists).

Businesswear

Myth:

The woman of the 90s wore a lot of power pieces – be it menswear-inspired suspenders, or tiny suits a la Ally McBeal.

Reality:

The woman of the 90s wore a lot of shoulder pads – it wasn’t just the 80s. She’s also responsible for that thing where you wear big, ugly sneakers with business clothes in order to go power walking. 90s women wore a ton of horrible flat-front khakis. The Adult Jumper was going strong, and not just for teachers.

Neon

Myth:

Totally radical!

Reality:

Totally dopey.

Riot Grrl

Myth:

We wore baby doll dresses as a subtle critique of the infatilization of adult women – ditto for those baby barrettes. These were paired with heavy, down-to-business boots. Zines as far as the eye can see.

Reality:

Sure. We all wore baby doll dresses with baby barrettes and boots — because Stephanie Tanner did. I’m sure it was different if you were in high school or college, but if you were a kid in the 90s you probably weren’t wearing these fashions to fight the patriarchy with Kathleen Hanna and Courtney Love. You just wanted to look like people on TV.

Music

Myth:

While we wore our sweet tumblr-y fashions, we listened to the latest indie tunes from mix tapes that we ordered from the back of a zine.

Reality:

Celine Dion. Natalie Merchant. A lot of pseudo-intellectualism: “tell me all your thoughts on God,” e.g. Harmonicas without irony. Actually, everything without irony. That’s what separates real 90s style from the (admittedly better) 2010s revival, and the best thing about the decade: we really, earnestly meant all of this.

Victoria’s Secret Fashion Show 2013: Things That Made Me Say WTF

Posted in Entertainment, Outfit Girl by

According to my Facebook feed, some girls wait all year for the Victoria’s Secret Fashion Show, but I’ve never been into it – or really even watched it –  until now. It’s not because it offends my high-brow sensibilities (I live-blog Carrie Underwood musicals and reality tv, after all). It’s not because I dislike the brand (though they rarely have sub-A sizes in stock, so it doesn’t work for me). Watching the VS Fashion Show for the first time last night, I realized the reason that I’m not into it is that I just don’t get it. Segment by segment, everything I saw made me say “WTF.”

Poorly Conceived UK Stereotypes Segment (bear with me, I missed the name of this one)

  • The segment opens with those British soldiers who can’t smile when you make fun of them in photos (but f’real, if you’re over age 18, there’s no excuse for that).
  • When the models’ names are given, I can’t help but notice that this whole shebang has been straight outsourced. Whatever happened to American jobs for American workers, am I right?
  • Fall Out Boy is playing, because the VS fashion show was planned by the guy who DJ’ed every basement college party I went to in 2005.
  • Do we know who any of these people in the audience shots are? Because I thought I saw Steve Carrell, bearded.
  • I think the ladies are supposed to be British stock characters. I count a gangster moll, a lady with black wings, an impractically-dressed soccer player, and what I assume to be an equestrienne/dominatrix.

    As I posted this, I thought maybe the pinstripes were supposed to be less mafia and more Sexy MP? And that maybe the VS fashion show is like Halloween, with girls all dressed as the hot version of something-or-other.

Like, this girl is either Hot British Solider or Hot Queen Elizabeth’s Throne.

  • How’d that girl get those eyebrows? Cara Delevingne, I mean. Of all of the reasons to be jealous of the VS models, this is what’s making me green with envy. All the sparse-eyebrowed redheads understand me right now.
  • T Swift has wore a tiny Union Jack hat, which reminds me of the tiny hat sketch from SNL. I also don’t understand what T. Swift has to do with England.
  • A model (an angel? Is that the AP standard for a VS model) is wearing a black and white checked number and I feel like I have vertigo.

    Barbara Fialho, officially probably the best-looking Barbara in the world (no offense to your aunt or grandma).

  • Another model appeared to cross herself like 8 times in a row before going on stage. Jesus take the wheel.
  • A few weeks ago, Jessica Hart said that Taylor Swift didn’t belong on the show, or didn’t fit – even throwing in a “God bless her heart,” the ultimate in mean-nice speak. Really, girl? I can’t think of a place that Taylor Swift belongs more than a Victoria’s Secret fashion show, except for maybe a living Lisa Frank binder.  Pink sparkles and angel wings? All she needs is a famous guy to break up with her here and she’ll be in all her glory.
  • The childhood pics of the models are sort of sweet. I saw Girl Model and a lot of the business seems pretty terrible, and obviously these gals are like the 1%ers of modeling, but seriously, good for them.

Shipwrecked

  • Great Big World is playing. I hope we’re not overstating the Seth Cohen of things lately, but this guy really does remind me of our the love child of our favorite Newport-ian and Ben Folds.
  • A model is wearing wings that look like toilet paper. It looks like nothing so much as that bridal shower game where you have to make a dress out of TP.
  • Someone please tell me who the guy who looks like a bearded Steve Carell is.
  • A very orange-tan lady is walking. Did she get rollered or airbrushed, I wonder? My main frame of reference here is Honey Boo Boo.
  • Evidently, “shipwrecked” means pieces of tangled garbage and dead jellyfish, based on the bedraggled wings. That’s actually super-accurate. The costumes look like they were made of debris that you find in the surf in Hyannisport.
  • Now we get to find out how the models feel about deserted islands – and let me tell you, it’s a mixed bag. My favorite is the girl who says that obviously they would need wifi. But if I have to bet on one of them to survive on a desert isle, it’s the chick with the sensible bob (Karlie Kloss). She knows what’s up.

Commercial Break

  • Oh my god, there are commercials during this giant commercial. This is the most WTF moment of them all.

Parisian Nights

  • Evidently Parisian Nights means something other than trying to sleep in a hostel when a bunch of high German teenagers come in at 5 am. Victoria’s Secret, you are not reflecting my experience here.
  • Embarrassing: By this point in the show I have pulled up the Angel Line-Up on the VS website so I know who these people are. I already know a lot of the models because, while I’m not a VS fan, I pore over Style.com during the various fashion weeks. There’s a workout on the VS website that looks pretty good, but unless it stretches me out a foot and somehow involves a face transplant, it’s not as though it will make me look like these ladies.
  • Everyone’s lingerie has these weird straps between the bra and underwear. [Note: I’m saying underwear because I’m not saying panties.] Do people do that? Maybe it’s a wing harness?
  •  I think the music note headdress is the best accessory of this segment, so far.
  • No, wait, I like the teal blue gloves that look like something a nurse would wear during some sort of uncomfortable procedure.
  • No, actually, my real favorite thing is the girl in dishwashing gloves.
  •  How come some of the models rate wings and others don’t? I kind of want to stop the wingless girls and tell them, you know, “girlfriend, you ARE beautiful,” but since beautiful is their job description, they probably know, right? That would be like them telling me “Girlfriend, you ARE a lawyer.”
  • I’ve seen my fair share of Toddlers and Tiaras and I was lead to believe there would be more cupcake hands, pretty feet, and “oopsies” faces in runway events.
  • There’s a behind-the-scenes feature about shooting their campaign in Paris, in the cold, in underwear, in the middle of the night. No thanks.

Birds of Paradise

  • According to the other models, Lais is the sweet one who fell, once. She couldn’t do the show. So, here’s my theory: the VS show is, for some ladies, what football is to some men. There’s the gory injuries, the triumph over adversity, knowing all of the major players and picking favorites. You watch people who were probably dealt a way better genetic hand then you, but you still kind of feel like you can armchair quarterback them (or armchair runway walk). So, ladies, if a guy makes fun of you for watching this, just tell him that it’s the same as football and I’m sure he’ll take that analogy really well.
  • Lais gets to open Birds of Paradise because she was injured out last year. The way they talk about “what happened to [her] last year,” you’d think that her family got killed and she got AIDS, but no, it was some ankle thing. (That does suck, though. I actually feel really bad for her?)
  •  “Birds of paradise” means wearing giant feathers, so the angels all look like Hot Big Bird now.
  • My new favorite is the girl wearing a mylar balloon heart instead of wings.
  • The models show us their “natural” and “sexy” face-looks. For me, both of those faces are just a sort of grimace.

Neon Jungle

  • A man in a suit says that the girls are “literally the rock stars of social media,” but wouldn’t that be literally… rock stars? I’m sure there are some on Twitter.
  • The models present a handy PSA about being careful about what you post online. The CEO (?) LOVES how active they are on social media (because it means free publicity, duh).
  • There’s a girl walking for the first time and she looks like a young Sarah Silverman.
  • There’s a skirt with hashtags on it.
  • Neon Jungle’s song, Trouble, is actually really catchy and seems to fit great with the “tone” of the show.
  • A girl is wearing a plush “OMG” around her neck. It’s like this segment was thought up by a group of old guys trying to figure out what teens are into: “they use a lot of acronyms, I think? And hashtag, internet-type stuff? But they also like bright colors and probably smiley faces? And hearts, and balloons?” Result: it looks like the runway version of an early-90s trapper keeper, with some social media stuff thrown in.

Snow Angels

  • Adriana Lima says “to have beauty, you need strength,” which I believe translates to “to keep my job, I have to have abs like a Ken Doll.” She does boxing, which is pretty cool.
  • Taylor Swift is singing Trouble, and I just noticed that she has spray-tanned legs too. Or, who knows, maybe suntan hosiery instead.

    Victoria’s REAL secret.

  • T. Swift is making a lot of diva hands, and is being “fierce,” probably. Not fierce: the reverb sound effect.
  • College Molly Story : one time the neighbor girls told my housemates and I that we should come over for their once-a-week tradition of playing beer pong in their underwear. And we kind of just thought, wouldn’t that be more fun with pants on? I wonder if some of the Angels have that running through the back of their minds, too.
  • Did I just see Beyonce?
  • Does being a model mean people yelling “go go go go go GO” at you all the time? I hate being rushed.
  • That girl is still wearing her dish gloves (was it Lily Aldridge? I can’t remember now), and did I just see Karl Lagerfeld?
  • Curtain call.  I’ve decided that Cara Delevingne is my favorite, IDEK. She seems fun, as does Karlie Kloss. But Behati’s name is so fun to say! And Jourdan Dunn held up her career so well after having a kid (but so did Arizona Muse, why isn’t she here?) See, that’s what this past hour of tv has done to me. I’ve gone from utter apathy to declaring Cara Delivigne my favorite.

These Are My Thanksgiving Pants

Posted in Miscellany, Outfit Girl by

Can you believe Thanksgiving is just a few days away? How did this happen? Are you even prepared? I’m assuming if you’re cooking, you already have your recipes at the ready, so outfits for the big day are usually the last thing on your list. No worries, we’re here to help.

The one rule: Be COMFORTABLE – while still looking fab.

Follow Joey’s lead:

 

If you can’t get a hold of Thanksgiving/maternity pants, here are some other options to make sure your food baby is in check while you’re taking endless family/friend photos.

 

The Oversized Sweater

T Gives Sweaters

I feel like Thanksgiving and sweaters go hand in hand. It’s the perfect time to wear it, as you’re in the middle of fall and on the cusp of the holiday season, which always remind me of cozy sweaters. I’m sure none of you reading this show up in Champion sweatshirts to dinner, so it goes without saying that a nice, semi-dressy sweater is the best way to look good while feeling good after you eat all the foods.

The Leggings

T Gives Leggings

Remember when girls first started wearing leggings and everyone was like WTF is that and now it’s like the most common thing? I for one, am a fan of leggings, and feel like it’s an easy excuse to go outside without ‘pants’. Recently, I’ve gotten into jeggings, and before you roll your eyes, hear me out – they’re comfortable and if you buy the right pair – don’t look stupid.

The Roomy Dress

T Gives Dresses

I personally like to get dressed up for Thanksgiving, because otherwise I would feel like it’s just another day with a pot luck of sorts. Plus I know there are going to be a ton of pix taken, so that’s the vein side of me coming out.

The Skirt

T Gives Skirts

A comfortable skirt is a great way to go, especially if you’re living in a place with mild weather like LA. If you go with a shorter skirt, pair it with nice tights, or go for a maxi that will flow in the wind when you’re going for that post-dinner stroll.

The Comfy Shoes

T Gives Shoes
Let’s not forget about footwear, ladies. If you’re going to look good, do it from head to toe. Moccasins are great but is it semi-offensive on Thanksgiving? Idk, but they’re comfy.

Gems From the Delia’s Catalog

Posted in Outfit Girl by

If you’re products of the 90s like us, you remember that we actually got catalogs in the mail – catalogs that offered clothes, toys and unnecessary items in bulk (Oriental Trading, I’m looking at you). I actually remember hearing my mom order certain clothes through JCPenneys over the phone while she leafed through the pages to make sure she got everything. That’s something kids these days will probably never encounter.

One of my favorite catalogs to receive in the mail (besides the American Girl one) was Delia’s.

delias cover

DeLiA*s (<- which is the proper way to type it) was a clothing and accessory catalog specifically for tweens and teens who were hip and totally into fashion.

While I was neither hip nor into fashion at the time, I still yearned to acquire all the clothes that lay inside the pages of this precious bible of cool.

Fast forward to 2013 and I frankly, am embarrassed that we as a society of young girls ever thought some of these outfit were appropriate. But hey, every generation has that style remorse, right? Here are some of ours…

Tank tops. Tank tops were a thing that people just wore out. Nothing over it, just a tank top. Am I crazy for thinking this should be reserved for sleeping/pajama purposes or undershirts only? These gals need to put more clothes on.

The bucket hat. Oh good LORD the bucket hat. I’m guilty, I had a few of these that I thought looked spectacular on me. I was wrong.

Overalls and camo? Sounds about right – for kids who were actually farmers or went hunting. I can’t believe we ever wore those overall out in public. Like to the mall. Where people you went to school with went.

Remember when dressing like a boy was in? Yeah, I tried this fad. I shouldn’t have.

Wallets with chains available at Delia’s or Hot Topic (if you’re brave enough to go in)

Nevermind the velour long-sleeved shirt and track jacket – why does the caption at the top say “Name that tune – whistle while you work?” Is this secret code for child labor?

Ah yes, the maxi skirt before it became a fashionable maxi skirt. Otherwise known as some genius decided to take the kahki with one million zippers and pockets and make it into a skirt. And then pair it with a sweater, because that’s a good look.

And then the 90s kind of channeled the 60s/70s for a hot sec. You’ll see the pants version of this later…

If you didn’t own a sweater vest you are lying. While I don’t suggest just wearing a cropped sweater vest on its own, pairing a sweater vest with an approved blouse was my go-to for our school uniform in high school.

BANDANAS. I legit owned dozens of these. Why???? Because headbands just weren’t enough? I thought I looked so cool – I even had bedazzled ones. NOT BETTER, TRACE.

Remember those 70s pants I was talking about – yeah bell bottoms were HUGE when we were growing up. Lit’rally huge. Like it made everything below my knee look 10 times bigger.

Of course you have to have the pop star/Britney look. I was obsessed with stars, so those pants would’ve been on my wish list.

Velour and iridescent clothing – a staple of the 90s. Also a little taste of the Chinese trend that swept the nation. I, of course, had to be the Asian girl with the chopsticks in her hair. Whatevs.

“Let’s mix the tank top with velour and a printed pant and stick a girl in a nondescript venue with blue streamers protruding out of the empty hallway.” Delia’s designers

That blue dress is what I still picture in my head when I think of our middle school and high school dances. So much sheer and floral – in the woods, no less!

Were people really into fairies (faeries?) back then or was that just the freaks I hung out with at my middle school?

And let’s not forget our accessories! Platform shoes were all that and a bag of chips. I enjoyed these because it made my short stature look even taller, especially with my bellbottom jeans.

Makeup for 90s girls was all about color and glitter. But why would anyone ever buy makeup from a Delia’s catalog?

IMPORTANT: FREE E-MAIL AND FREE HOMEPAGES?!!?!? Shutting down my Angelfire account right now and starting up again here.

Delia’s was also known for its rando items, especially the inflatable furniture. Did Delia’s think they were the leader in selling inflatable furniture to clueless teens? Yeah, probably.

(In Future Ted’s How I Met Your Mother voice) Kids, it was the summer of 2000. I just came home from Seabreeze (the local amusement park) and I retrieved the Delia’s catalog from the mail. I sat down with my gel pens, drinking my Sunny D and turned on TRL. I filled out that catalog order form, hoping one day – one day, I’d have enough money to buy it all.

Michelle Tanner’s High-Fashion Fashions

Posted in Entertainment, Lists, Outfit Girl by

Remember Michelle Tanner’s outfits? They were the coolest – the oversized buttons, the sassy sweatsuits, the sunflower hats. Well, you can’t buy style that fly at The Children’s Place. Nope – those fashions went straight from the runway, to a seamstress who cuts down clothing for children and tiny adults, to your television. I didn’t believe it, either, but this week Ashley Olsen said:

We’d be in six-hour fittings three times a week, because we had to wear 12 different outfits. The majority of the wardrobe was made up of adult pieces, including Chanel and Marc Jacobs, cut to fit.

Now, I’d never call Ashley Olsen a liar (Mary-Kate, on the other hand…). It’s just that, even in the crazy 80s, I thought that Chanel and Marc Jacobs were a little more dignified than this:

Thanks to Olivia Newton John, aerobic wear was all the rage, and Givenchy went off the rails for a while there.

From Armani’s Fall/Winter 1990 “Cartoon Pandas And Whales” line.

The 90s were in full swing, and the House of Versace was all about these fetus-sized voodoo dolls with yarn hair.

Every student of fashion knows the 1992 collaboration between Jean-Paul Gaultier and Lisa Frank.

(L) Olsen in Oleg Cassini (Resort Collection); (R) Baby Jess Merriweather in Gymboree.

The running motif in Jil Sander’s poorly-received Spring 1991 line? Big-assed buttons.

Princess Diana wore nautical pieces on a Greek vacation, and the next season, Commes des Garcons was – in designer Kawakubo’s own words – “trying a thing.”

I thought that this was both twins, circa 1995, in Vera Wang. However, I’m told that this is a full-grown Mary-Kate Olsen, appearing alongside her paramour and an actual child. Honest mistake.

Vintage Chanel Couture.

You thought your third grade teacher was buying her Christmas sweaters at Christopher & Banks? Try Dolce & Gabbana.

‘You Know What? Everyone Just Give Up For A While’ – cover story of Vogue’s September Issue, 1989 – and the inspiration for this ensemble.

90s Fashion Myths vs. Realities

Posted in Outfit Girl by

** A lot of the pictures have broken since we first wrote this, and we see you, and we’ll be fixing it ASAP. **

Listen, young ladies on tumblr. You’re all into the 90s look, and that’s great, I suppose. I mean, from my perspective it’s the very definition of not great, because it means that I am now old enough to have worn a “vintage” trend the first time around, but bully for you.

Here’s the deal, though. You’re getting it wrong. Your romanticized version of the 90s is super cute, but that’s not how it was. It was awkward, frumpy, and all around unfortunate. Our shirts were too wide and short by a good stretch. Our jeans made us look ice cream cone-shaped. Regardless of season or latitude, everyone was dressed for a Seattle winter. Inspired by our live blog of Hocus Pocus, I present a fashion companion to all you tumblr girls who were born after the early 90s: You Weren’t There, You Wouldn’t Understand

Jeans

Myth:

Everyone wore distressed, slouchy “boyfriend” pants or sleek, high-waisted, taper-legged denim.

Reality:

Yeah. Our waists were high all right. But do you know what lay between the high waist and the tapered ankle? A foot-long butt. While the modern iteration of these pants has a slim fit, there was no “skinny’ in 90s jeans. Rather, there was a ton of fabric, so that your frame would blossom out after your waist, only to end in a vice grip around your ankles. We all looked like gorgeous ice cream cones.

In terms of denim, the acid wash and stone wash we wore had NOTHING in common with today’s distressed denim. It looked almost like the cover of a marble composition notebook. We didn’t do subtlety very well back then. And if you weren’t wearing that – and this never shows up on your tumblrs – you were wearing super-bright, almost indigo blue denim.

Flannel

Myth:

We all wore big, cozy flannel shirts a la Kurt Cobain or – let’s be real – Angela Chase.

Reality:

Well, we did… kind of. I remember being so excited in second grade to get a slouchy flannel for Christmas – so I could look like Cory Matthews. So, I want you to think less Nirvana and more TGIF. Most of us didn’t look like angsty grunge musicians, we looked like honor roll kids from nice families who were trying to stay comfy.

Leggings

Myth:

Underneath our Seattle flannels or stylish tunic tops, we showed off our toned, aerobicized legs in leggings, topped off with Doc Martins.

Reality:

Every kind of pants in the 90s made you look like you were wearing diapers. I think leggings had a little less elastic then, plus most of the ones we had were stirrup leggings. Yeah. In the 90s, stirrups weren’t just for horseback riding and your gyno’s office. So, pants were well secured at the waist and ankles, and kind of saggy and sad in between. On our feet? Keds.

Hair

Myth:

Our hair fell in long, devil-may-care waves and curls, kind of like Lorde.

Reality:

Those big 80s bangs didn’t really die until the mid-90s. We didn’t wear loose waves, we wore spiral perms. If you wanted to look really polished, you probably had The Rachel, and if you wanted to look really professional, you had Princess Diana’s haircut. In the late 90s, we didn’t wear long, subtle side bangs like all of you kids. We had light fringes that we painstakingly curled under with round brushes, so your forehead was under a protective hair-dome. There was a lot of half-up, half-down happening. Lots of claw clips. Scrunchies. Seasonal scrunchies, classy scrunchies, denim scrunchies. One of the first times I remember getting a big laugh in a crowded room, I was about 5 and was making up a commercial for scrunchies at Thanksgiving with my extended fam. “Scrunchies! Because real bracelets are for snobs! Scrunchies! Because you could put it in your hair later, maybe!” (See, the whole thing with scrunchies was that they just ended up on everyone’s wrists).

Businesswear

Myth:

The woman of the 90s wore a lot of power pieces – be it menswear-inspired suspenders, or tiny suits a la Ally McBeal.

Reality:

The woman of the 90s wore a lot of shoulder pads – it wasn’t just the 80s. She’s also responsible for that thing where you wear big, ugly sneakers with business clothes in order to go power walking. 90s women wore a ton of horrible flat-front khakis. The Adult Jumper was going strong, and not just for teachers.

Neon

Myth:

Totally radical!

Reality:

Totally dopey.

Riot Grrl

Myth:

We wore baby doll dresses as a subtle critique of the infatilization of adult women – ditto for those baby barrettes. These were paired with heavy, down-to-business boots. Zines as far as the eye can see.

Reality:

Sure. We all wore baby doll dresses with baby barrettes and boots — because Stephanie Tanner did. I’m sure it was different if you were in high school or college, but if you were a kid in the 90s you probably weren’t wearing these fashions to fight the patriarchy with Kathleen Hanna and Courtney Love. You just wanted to look like people on TV.

Music

Myth:

While we wore our sweet tumblr-y fashions, we listened to the latest indie tunes from mix tapes that we ordered from the back of a zine.

Reality:

Celine Dion. Natalie Merchant. A lot of pseudo-intellectualism: “tell me all your thoughts on God,” e.g. Harmonicas without irony. Actually, everything without irony. That’s what separates real 90s style from the (admittedly better) 2010s revival, and the best thing about the decade: we really, earnestly meant all of this.

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Emmy Awards 2013: Best & Worst Dressed

Posted in Entertainment, Outfit Girl by

Well folks, it’s the day after the 65th Annual Emmys (did you check out our live blog?), and if you’re anything like us, you’re still bitter about the (failed) results of your Emmy ballots.

One thing that we can’t lose at are our Best & Worst Dressed list, so here are our picks from last night’s ceremony with TV’s biggest stars.

Molly’s Picks:

Best Dressed

Tina Fey in Narciso Rodriguez

The dress so nice, we’re listing it twice. While we’re trying to keep repeats on our best/ worst dressed lists to a minimum, I’d be a fool not to include this on my best dressed list. Not only is Tina Fey smarter than almost everyone on this red carpet, and funnier than almost everyone on this red carpet, she’s also more stylish and prettier.

Kerry Washington in Marchesa

I had to sleep on this one – and so, apparently, did Kerry Washington, judging by the dress’s kind of rumply texture. I was on the fence about the dress last night, but the more I see it, the more I love it. Would’ve been a great dress to win in. Next year, Gladiators.

Kate Mara in J Mendel

This might show up on a few worst dressed lists, and I think maybe another year it could’ve ended up on mine. I think it’s just the overall styling that’s working for me – the dress with the simple hair and smoky makeup.

Elisabeth Moss in Dolce & Gabbana

I was really feeling these 2 trends that kept appearing: the separate or faux-separate skirt and bodice, and the black and white color blocking. Since Traci already covered my favorite black and white dress (read on to see who!), it only seemed fair to give space to my second-fav.

Julia Louis-Dreyfus in Monique Lhuillier

Last night, Traci said that this looked like a beautiful disco ball and I said that I wanted to touch JLD’s face because her skin is so pretty. I stand by both of those comments.

Honorable Mention: Claire Danes in Armani Prive

When I was writing my best dressed picks before work, I included this one. Post coffee, I cannot remember why. I’m keeping this on the list for my sleepy-eyed, 6am self who for whatever reason thought this was pretty. That 6am girl is also the person who dressed me today. She didn’t do so great.

Worst Dressed

Lena Dunham in Delia’s Prada

When Lena Dunham tweeted that her dress looked like it was designed by Delia’s earlier this week, I had high hopes for butterfly clips and butterfly print. But the thing that’s really Delia’s-esque about this is that Lena’s eyeshadow is matched to her dress. After 9th grade Lena -or someone around her – should know better.

Mayin Bialik in Oliver Tolentino Couture

Everyone else liked this, and I did until you got to the tinselly belt and cuffs. That made everything look kind of costumey to me, like she’d be playing The Giving Tree in a really nice Montessori school or Blanche Dubois in a less-nice Montessori school.

Julianne Hough in Jenny Packham

Remember in 2002, when girls used to walk around with visible thongs over their low-rise 501s, and you would think “what could be less hot than this?” This dress answers that question with “well, visible granny panties, of course.”

Zosia Mamet in Honor

I like everything about this until the giant faux mustache over her boobs.

Lily Rabe

Annie taught us that you’re never fully dressed without a smile. But you’re also never fully dressed without that other half of your dress. Besides, nobody was smiling last night. That was the most sorrowful, grim Emmy Awards I ever did see and that’s counting the time they postponed it because of 9/11.

Traci’s Picks

Best Dressed

Taylor Schilling in Thakoon

Daaannnnggg Chapman. You clean up well! Taylor was there for nothing but publicity and eye candy, but she sure made her mark on the red carpet. Simple, sexy, elegant – that’s how you do an awards show, folks.

Michelle Dockery in Prada

Lady Mary sure knows how to hit a home run on the red carpet. Or like, whatever the equivalent to a home run is in cricket. She always knows what styles and colors look great on her, and this is no different. Of course I LOVE color blocking, so maybe that’s why I adore her dress so much.

Tina Fey in Narciso Rodriguez

Listen. As much as I love Tina Fey. The first thing you think of her is that she’s funny. Not a fashionista. So while she has made some questionable fashion decisions in the past, she looks absolutely stunning in this bold blue dress. Suck on that, nerds.

Kaley Cuoco in Vera Wang

For me, Kaley Cuoco is usually a hit or miss for me at awards shows. But this Vera Wang dress is to die. It’s the perfect mix of sexy and classy, just like Taylor Schilling’s dress. And while a lot of ladies were going with white and black or pastels, she decided to go the other route with the fantastic burgundy.

Anna Gunn in Ramona Keveza

You know when someone who is nominated/expected to win first appears on the red carpet and they come out wearing a dress and you just KNOW they’re going to win in? Yeah, this is it. Julia Roberts. Jennifer Lawrence. Anna Gunn.

Honorable Mention: Kiernan Shipka in Delpozo

Guys, I can’t get over how much older and mature little Sally Draper looks! I’m obsessed with the style direction she’s going in as she enters her teens. She knows exactly what is age appropriate, but also always picks something that will stand out in a crowd of grown-ups. And if you ever watch her in interviews, she is the smartest 13 year old ever. More like 13 going on 30, amirite ladies/Jennifer Garner?

Worst Dressed

Melissa Leo

I just… did she think she was going to either a circus or not be on stage at all? Because she was on stage. And not at a circus.

Paula Abdul

Honestly… just when you thought she couldn’t get any crazier. Just like Melissa Leo, I tried researching the designers for each dress, but to no avail. Maybe they didn’t want the negative publicity.

Heidi Klum in Versace

Um, I’m pretty sure Heidi Klum is being attacked by her own sequined gown. Should someone help her?

Lena Dunham in Prada

Oh Lena. In all honesty, this still isn’t as bad as the poop brown Zac Posen gown she wore at the Golden Globes. But like she/I said in the live blog yesterday, this looks like a dress she would wear to a summer BBQ in 1994, courtesy of the Delia’s catalog – evening gown edition.

Julianne Hough in Jenny Packham

Jules. You’re a gorgeous girl who actually get her style choices right most of the time. Not so much now. When they showed her in the audience when Derek won, you could only see the waist up, and she didn’t look that bad. And then I saw this picture. I know you’re a dancer and all, but no need to bring your leotard to the Emmys. THE EMMYS. This is a black tie event, ma’am. Not the VMAs.