A Very Scientific Process In Making the Ultimate Boy Band

Question: Do we need another boy band?

Keep reading if your answer is yes. Because the correct answer is yes.

Executives at ABC recently announced a new reality show called Boy Band, a 10-episode series coming this summer featuring aspiring male singers vying for a spot in a – you guessed it – boy band. Viewers can vote for their favorites, with the top five forming the final group. Think American Juniors meets Making The Band, but sans sketchy Lou Pearlman and with adults.

But what if the singers of boy band past tried out for Boy Band? Would they make the cut? We make the ultimate group based on a very scientific method: what the singer was like at the height of their popularity, their voice, their voice blending with the other voices, how their popularity would shine on a reality TV competition and my own personal opinion.

Nick Carter

OG Boy Band: Backstreet Boys

Vocal Function: Lead Tenor

Personality Function: The Heartthrob

Why He Would Make The Cut: Every boy band needs a lead heartthrob with a singing ability to make you swoon in your over-postered bedroom. Circa ’99, Nick Carter was the picture perfect dreamboat, made to make the cover of Tiger Beat, YM and Teen People all over the world. Every time he asked, “Am I sexual?”, the answer is always a screeching, “YES!”.

Harry Styles

OG Boy Band: One Direction

Vocal Function: Second Tenor

Personality Function: Silent Heartthrob

Why He Would Make The Cut: That face. That accent. The way he belts those notes. That hair. The way he puts his hands through THAT HAIR.

Nick Jonas

OG Boy Band: Jonas Brothers

Vocal Function: Counter Tenor

Personality Function: The Seemingly Serious One But Actual Sex Pot

Why He Would Make The Cut: I’m talking Jealous -> now era of Nick Jonas even though the JoBros doesn’t exist and I wouldn’t even really classify them as a real boy band. But Nick is a smokeshow, can hit those falsetto notes like nobody’s business and did I mention he’s a smokeshow?

Donnie Wahlberg

OG Boy Band: New Kids on the Block

Vocal Function: Bass

Personality Function: Bad Boy

Why He Would Make The Cut: Similarly to Nick Jonas, I’d say later era Donnie Wahlberg is primo Donnie Wahlberg. I saw him on the NKOTBSB tour with BSB and I was completely shook and quite frankly upset with myself that I had not been paying more attention to Donnie all these years. He is straight up beefcake, masculine to the max sexy, and his speak/singing voice will automatically take your undergarments off.

Joey Fatone

OG Boy Band:*N SYNC

Vocal Function: Baritone

Personality Function: Jokester

Why He Would Make The Cut: Joey is the type of dude who would thrive on a reality TV competition show. He’s such a ham for the cameras that audiences would lap it right up. See: Dancing with the Stars.

BONUS: Justin Timberlake would be the second one to make the group, but like Ikaika before him, he left to pursue a solo career. Nick Jonas takes his place in a dramatic results show episode.

Disagree? Agree? Chime in!

EW PopFest: A Recap Of Fangirling

While y’all were busy partying it up for Halloween over the weekend, I was dressed as a fangirl at the first ever Entertainment Weekly PopFest. TBH, I didn’t have to dress up at all, which is great, because I do not like dressing up for Halloween. My friend and I went to the first of two days at the event, which was filled with panels, screenings, book signings, live podcasts, concerts and more. I figured I’d share a little insider info for everyone who wasn’t in the Room Where It Happened™ and share my day with you in a recap. Keep reading if you’re a Gilmore Girls, Happy Endings, and/or Nick Jonas fan. Or if you just like reading.

To preface, we bought tickets specifically for the Gilmore Girls and Happy Endings programming at the PopFest. We had three panels/events that were at the top of our list, the Gilmore Guys podcast countdown show, Gilmore Girls conversation with Amy Sherman-Palladino & Dan Palladino, and the Happy Endings lost episode table read. Other bonuses included the Crazy Ex-Girlfriend performance, and sets by Lizzo, Janelle Monae and Nick Jonas. Panels/events we didn’t go to but existed: Supernatural, CW Superheroes, Oscar Contenders, Hailee Steinfeld, FOX Comdy previews, and more.

OK, got our bases covered. Let’s go!

Celebrities, They’re Just Like Us

While waiting in line to get in, we were near the talent entrance, and Jared Padalecki was kind enough to say a quick hi and wave to the fans. In case you forgot, Supernatural is still on and in its 12th season and its fans are still hardcore as ever. About 10 minutes later, the girl behind us asked if a man looking lost across the street was Kirk. And sure enough, it was Sean Gunn, standing by himself in front of the Los Angeles courthouse, on his phone befuddled and clueless as where to go. Sidenote: he wasn’t on the schedule. We guessed he was a special guest for the Gilmore Guys, more on that later. I snapped a bunch of pix of him because I’m a creep:

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But a very nice GG fan, wearing a black shirt emulating the end credits which read “Executive Producer Amy Sherman-Palladino”, nonchalantly went up to Sean and pointed out where the talent entrance was. It was a very nice interaction and she didn’t even ask for a picture or amything. Shout out to respectful GG fans!!

What Do You Think, Gillies?

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I’ve written about my favorite podcast the Gilmore Guys before, and admittedly I’ve seen them so many times live it’s bordering stalker level. But I swear I’m not. I just have happened to see them seven times live in LA, it’s fine. Anyways, instead of a regular episode where they spend the whole show talking about one episode, Saturday’s live show was a countdown of top five WB promos, top five characters who need a spin-off, and top five characters (one ep characters like Buzu Barnes the Zydeco player) and their ridiculous backstories. It was great. Gilmore Guys recurring guest Ross Kimball was on hand to join Kevin and Demi, and when they were intro-ing a montage of all of Kirk’s odd jobs, Sean Gunn himself “surprised” everyone by coming out and dancing to Rihanna’s Work. It was glorious.

He chatted mostly about the past seasons and little about the revival, mainly talking about said odd jobs, including a stint as Tevye in the Stars Hollow Elementary School production of Fiddler on the Roof. In case you forgot, he sings a ballad called Do You Love Me with a young girl, and although it was weird it was also weirdly tender? But Sean admitted he was nervous about singing in that scene, so naturally, he went to theater vet and Tony winner Ed Hermann for advice.

“One of the things I remember most about that episode was I was really nervous about how to sing the song, because I didn’t know if I should try to sing it as well as I could, or how Kirk would sing it … I was in my head about it… I remember pulling Ed aside and asking him, ‘You’re a veteran, how do you think I should play this?’ and him giving me the exactly right advice. I think he literally said, ‘Just get out of your head, man. Just go for it.’”

Also during the Tevye clip, Sean took a selfie with himself on the big screen, as seen here:

Seven Minutes in Heaven

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One of the cons of the festival was that the Gilmore Girls panel was right before the Happy Endings reunion and in the same room. After some wrong answers from volunteers and one very right answer from a very helpful volunteer, we found out we basically had to divide in conquer, which meant my very kind, GG loving & Happy Endings obsessed friend took one for the team and waited in line while I was hanging with ASP and Dan. Luckily, Amy did not disappoint both with the conversation and outfit wise – her iconic hat game was on point and she was wear a sequined shiny black top that Lorelai would’ve worn in a pink in seasons one and two.

Anyways, the moderator, EW’s Sam Highfill was fantastic, and asked great questions that hadn’t necessarily ever been asked before, and when she inquired about how they felt going back into the series after all these years, Amy said, “This shit’s in our DNA now… It’s like, I’ll be on my death bed and going on a (GG) rant… *says as an aside to Dan* I’m going first, by the way.”

THAT MADE ME ALMOST CRY BECAUSE, DO YOU REMEMBER:

Speaking of the late great Edward Herrmann, Amy revealed that they didn’t have a floor plan in order to rebuild the Gilmore house, so the production designers rebuilt it by watching old episodes. She said the old house felt (ironically) like dollhouse, and the new Netflix-budgeted one is much larger. She said, “It was finally big enough for Ed, and he wasn’t there… Ed looms large. He loomed large in life, and he looms large over these episodes.”

*Cue second set of tears*

Since we’re getting close to the revival (see: countdown clock), that means A) both ASP and Dan were more open to talking about it, and B) Promo clips are starting to surface – read: they brought along four new clips from the revival – a whole SEVEN minutes from in A Year in the Life. !!!

Because I am a purist and rule follower and HATE spoilers or anything resembling them, I’m gonna tell you right now, you will not find iPhone-shot videos of the new revival clips on this blog. The panel/clips were exclusive for a reason, and I’m sure they’ll be rolling them out over the course of the next few weeks. RESPECT THE WORK. However, I am willing to tease it for you.

Characters involved throughout the four clips: Lorelai, Rory, Luke, Babette, Michel, Taylor, Kirk, Gypsy, Andrew, Emily.

Location: Connecticut

Number of iPhones used to look up an actor’s credit on IMDb: one

City Rory is moving back to Stars Hollow from: Brooklyn

Level of diversity in revival: At least 10 more than the OG series thanks to an “international” even in the Hollow.

And since we received a few questions via Twitter, I figured I’d answer them here, because we need those clicks, baybeeee!

Q: ah did you record it?

A: No. Again, we are not in the business of being sued by Netflix or the wrath of ASP.

Q: do you know when we get to see it? Are they gonna release the footage they showed today?

A: You will definitely get to see it when they release Gilmore Girls: A Year in the Life on Friday, November 25th 12AM PST.

Q: (I tweeted that the phrase “Singapore is just being a dick” was said in one of the clips) WHO SAID THIS OH MG GODDDDD

A: Ok, I’ll give you this one. It was Kirk. It’s Netflix now you guys. They can say things like “dick” and it’s totes kosher.

Q: Were the clips all from one season/episode?

A: Nope – Winter, Spring and Summer. THAT’S ALL I’M GIVING YOU.

Other notes:

ASP on guest stars: “When they (The WB executives) wanted stunt casting, they wanted Britney Spears, Justin Timberlake, and we’re like, ‘We’re going after Madeleine Albright!’ And Norman Mailer – he’s 200,000 years old.”

The dance marathon portion of the iconic They Shoot Gilmores, Don’t They? episode was shot in Birmingham High School in Van Nuys, giving all of us a good reason to visit Van Nuys.

If you thought the revival wasn’t going to feature a Gilmore girl wearing a bucket hat, you’d be wrong.

ASP on watching us watch the clips while they’re sitting on stage: “Can I just say, there is nothing more comfortable than sitting up here while other people watch your work. Something at Gitmo, maybe, might be a little more delightful?”

ASP on living up to expectations: “Hopefully everybody will be delighted and thrilled and charmed. If not – I don’t fucking know what to tell you. I tried.”

Overall, judging by the four clips, it has the same Gilmore tone that we know and love. I think it’ll take everyone getting used to the fact that the pop culture references are modern and not from 16 years ago, and the fact that it was shot digitally and not on film, making the actual quality look so much more different than you’re used to. If you keep those in mind and just enjoy the revival for what it is, I think we’re all going to be so relieved they did it right.

The Happiest of Endings

LOOK AT DAMON'S FACE STARING IN MY SOUL

LOOK AT DAMON’S FACE STARING IN MY SOUL

Right after Gilmore Girls, I snuck into the line for Happy Endings where my friend had been waiting, and we got in thanks again to the v helpful volunteer #Kayla. To this day, I still think Happy Endings is one of the shows that was most unjustly cancelled, and inexplicably picked up by other networks (HULU WHERE U AT THO). The writers from the series got together to write this very special episode, 401 titled Happy to Be Here. It took place 939 days after the season 3/series finale, and we find out that all six BFFs have parted ways – INCLUDING BRAD AND JANE – because of The Fight that happened the night of the Kerkovich sister’s wedding where we last saw the gang.

After finding out that their acquaintance Scotty has died, Penny (still single, but has been married several times on a Kid Rock cruise) and Max (who lives in D.C. now at an unknown job) decided to use Scotty’s death as a way to get everyone back together.

Penny: “Our group of friends has drifted apart. Like Robert Wagner and Natalie Wood” *this joke made the crowd go OOoooohhhhh in a What, Too Soon? sort of way

They first recruit Alex, who has a “Fortune 500 global lifestyle brand” in London. Because Xela. She agrees to get Jane, who has been living in Japan as an executive for Toyota in their sex doll division – it leads to awk scenes with her sis Alex. Because Jane and Brad split after The Fight at the wedding, Alex knew Jane wouldn’t go back to Chicago for Scotty’s funeral, especially if Brad was going to be there. So she lied and said Brad was the one who died. Apparently Jane still had feelings for him because she arrives back home in mourning.

Meanwhile, Max and Penny easily get Dave, who’s still in the food truck business and has been “retracing Jon Favreau’s road trip from Chef,” and also sporting a “a tiny Lin-Manuel Miranda beard” and a man-bun. Unrelatedly, he’s been working on his hip-hop musical called Hamilton… about the life of ice skater Scott Hamilton. Duh.

Then they heads off to the woods of Wisconsin where Brad retreated after he separated from Jane. He’s also got some facial hair which Max described him as looking like “the photo negative of a rabbi”. Brad has gone a little cray and a family of bears took turns “Revenant-ing” him, and he became friends with a bird (lover?) named Dustin.

Finally, everyone is back in Chicago where they belong, where hilarity and anger ensues (Brad and Jane eventually reconcile). Penny thinks she misses Scotty’s funeral and says, “I was supposed to sing ‘Torn’! Apparently, Scotty’s head was torn off his body by Brendan Dassey’s Sea-Doo” SO MANY MAKING A MURDERER REFS. And maybe my fave niche joke, Max recalls a Halloween without Dave where they dressed up as “the Central Perk Five… the one where Monica, Phoebe, Rachel, Chandler and Joey get falsely accused of ‘wilding.'”.

But the best part came when Derek, aka Stephen Guarino, aka DRAMAAAAAAA guy, and unexpectedly came out literally only yelling DRAMAAAA for a good minute while he walked through the audience and then had Adam Pally pour water on him. We screamed.

YOU STUPID CLUMSY BITCH. 🙅🏻💁🏻🙆🏻🙅🏻 #DRAMAAAAAAA #BRINGBACKHAPPYENDINGS #EWPOPFEST #HAPPYENDINGS

A post shared by Cookies + Sangria (@cookiessangria) on

Two twists came at the end: Scotty wasn’t really dead, it was all an elaborate plan by Alex to get everyone together. Except Scotty ended up really being dead bc of the plan itself. And then, it cut to a dream scene, where Dave wakes up next to Alex (BITCH, IT’S IS 5:30!) the night before their wedding – aka the pilot episode. Recalling his dream (all three seasons), Dave says:

“Then a bunch of super weird stuff happened, but everyone was talking so fast, it was hard to follow… My dad was the tinfoil blanket brother from Better Call Saul and Penny’s assistant was Jane the Virgin. Brad was on New Girl, Max banged Schmidt from New Girl – man, I really gotta stop falling asleep to New Girl.”

In response, Alex asks Dave if people really leave their signif oth at the altar, suggesting she may actually leave for a dude on rollerblades, just like the pilot prophesied.

It was everything we could’ve hoped for and more, and we could barely stop laughing throughout the entire table read. #BRINGBACKHAPPYENDINGS!

Ending on a Literal High Note

Because smokeshow Nick Jonas.

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ICYMI: We Like Aaron Tveit

I couldn’t even come up with a good title for this post. It’s just that simple. Aaron played Roger in another life (another day) and TBH he’s one of the best ones I’ve seen in Rent. Who would we pair him up with? Read on.

No Shame Playing The Fame Game: A Rent Dream Cast

When Rent was originally developed off-Broadway in 1995, the cast was comprised of both newbies and veteran actors, but the one thing they all had in common was talent. Adam Pascal, much like Roger, was an aspiring rocker when he stumbled across the audition for Rent. He had never really done musical theater before – in fact, the blocking for One Song Glory in which he goes back and forth from a table was designed specifically so he could look at pages of the script to rememeber his lines. Meanwhile, his co-star Anthony Rapp had already made his Broadway debut 15 years prior to taking the Nederlander stage.

And over the past two decades, casting for Rent in productions around the world have followed the same formula. You get a handful of “Adams” (Lin-Manuel Miranda’s pals Karen Olivo and Leslie Odom Jr.) and “Anthonys” (Neil Patrick Harris, Mel B, Joey Fatone).

With all this talent floating around for the past 20 years, I got to thinking what a production would look like if I put the best of the best together in one dream cast. Let me tell you it’s harder than it seems, just because so many people have come and gone in these iconic roles over the past two decades. I will say that I tried to not use OBC members since they’re lit’rally on a different level (I mean, just look at these bbs at the ’96 Tony Awards), so here are some of my faves who have been to Alphabet City and were the best to tell the epic story of Rent.

Skyler Astin as Mark Cohen and Aaron Tveit as Roger Davis

Every year, the folks at the Hollywood Bowl pick a musical to present for one weekend in the summer, and it’s usually a star-studded affair. They’ve done Hairspray, Spamalot, and this year they’re doing A Chorus Line, but in 2010, Neil Patrick Harris (who played Mark in a ’97 national tour) was put in charge as the director of Rent. And he managed to get a super talented cast on board – Wayne Brady (Collins), Vanessa Hudgens (Mimi), Nicole Scherzinger (Maureen), and Gwen Stewart, who reprised her role from the OBC as the soloist in Seasons of Love. But the real highlight was a pre-Pitch Perfect and post-Next to Normal Aaron Tveit as Mark and Roger, respectively. This duo alone made me immediately purchase a ticket (again, one of the eight times I’ve seen Rent). Both Aaron and Skyler are amazing singers and Broadway vets, so commanding an audience of 17,000 in an outdoor amphitheater is no small feat, but both got the job done and done well. They were perfectly cast and also had good chemistry between themselves, which bodes well as the core of the Rent family. I think I passed out during What You Own.

Renee Elise Goldsberry as Mimi Márquez

Before she was looking for a mind at work, Renee Elise Goldsberry was looking for a light and her stash of heroin in Rent. The goddesss that we all know and love from Hamilton was the last person to play Mimi on Broadway when it closed in 2008. Renee played her version of Mimi as sexy, cool, and vulnerable all at the same time, and of course had the pipes to back it up. I also managed to see the final Broadway run (2 of 8, #humblebrag) and when I stage doored the cast, I legit have a picture that’s currently up on Facebook of a pic of Renee posing for a picture *with someone else that’s not me* and the caption reads, “renee … something or other. she played mimi. she was also on one life to live.” Oh 2008 Traci. Little did you know.

Jesse L. Martin as Tom Collins

Ok, here’s one of two exceptions I made with the OBC. It’s hard to imagine anyone doing as good a job as Jesse L. Martin did with Collins. Few have come close, but I don’t think anyone’s been able to capture the same heart and sorrow Jesse conveyed as Collins. And separately, Jesse is a fantastic actor, while also an astounding singer, and no where else does this come through the best than when he sings the I’ll Cover You reprise. There hasn’t been a time I’ve watched him sing this where I haven’t cried.


Hey remember when Tveit was in Les Mis (the movie)? PS: Did you see this video of him singing a tune from Catch Me If You Can with Kerry Butler this week? It will give you feels.


Ugly Cry & CGI Waists: Live Blogging Les Miserables

We saw Les Mis and took notes during the movie, because we’ll do anything to become internet famous. Obvi there are spoilers ahead, but in our defense, this musical’s been out for 25 years.

T: The Overture is playing and I’m already fighting the urge to sing along.

M: Just me, or do the first chords of the overture sound like the beginning of Beauty and the Beast, another beloved musical set in 19th century France? I am now composing a mental mash up: “Little town, it’s a quiet village (At the end of the day you’re another day older), Every day like the one before (And that’s all you can say in the life of the poor).” Works pretty well.

T: A straggler walks up the stairs next to us wearing an ugly Christmas sweater (non-ironically); reminds me I’m in the suburbs where people actually do that.

M: Okay, SO funny Traci should mention that, because I made a mental note to ask her whether she’s missed Western NY fashions and coiffure. [My physical note, however, simply read “THIS SWEATER.”]

T: Wondering if Hugh Jackman’s gnarly beard is real. It looks like a grey Brillo pad.

M: Why does Valjean have an accent out of a 1950s western? This shit is getting rhotic

T: Note to self: Look up the ginge Foreman in the factory where Fantine works, looks famil.

T: Alright. I had my doubts about Princess Diaries when I saw the first trailer, but seeing her in I Dreamed a Dream is basically why she deserves all the awards. This also marks the first time I teared up.

M: Anne Hathaway is one of the most phenomenal ugly criers I’ve seen. I hope that is taken as the compliment that it is. Her crying deserves its own blog post. (T note: Don’t worry guys, it’s coming)

“If I don’t get an Oscar for this, I swear to God…”

T: Sacha Baron Cohen and Helena Bonham Carter are on point as Madame and Monsieur Thenardier. Except Cohen’s accent is questionable, pretty sure I heard Borat sneaking in there.

M: I am just confused. Why is Sacha Baron Cohen being allowed to do what I assume is supposed to be a French accent? See, this is why most movies set in non-anglophone countries just make everyone sound vaguely British: consistency. And so accents like this don’t happen.

T: So here’s the thing with going into a movie-musical adaptation with knowledge of the music so well: you can’t help but go in comparing the new version to the original. In this case I’d say everyone made it their own… Except Russell Crowe. This was especially evident during Stars. His performance was mediocre at most, and felt flat the entire time. It was like a high school student singing in his chorus concert. This number is supposed to be the first breakout song for Javert, a song that expresses his desire to hunt down JVJ, but it felt like Russell was just trying to focus on hitting the notes. And everyone knows he’s a good actor, but it just did not show at all in the movie. If you want to see a real version of Stars, watch Phillip Quast.

M: I am getting so much secondhand vertigo from Javert walking on this ledge. I feel like I’m going to sympathy puke like I’m in third grade and the teacher has just brought out that vomit-muffling sawdust. Also I see what you’re doing here, Les Mis.

T: Fun fact: Nick Jonas of Selena Gomez’s ex-bf played Gavroche on Broadway when he was a little kid. He went on to play Marius in the west end production in 2011, where Samantha Barks, who plays Eponine in the movie, also played Eponine to Nicky’s Marius. They both were in the 25th anniversary concert production which I remember watching and felt second hand embarrassment for Nick J, even though I love him (no shame).

M: No wait. Just wait. The kids are all so Cockney that I think Cosette’s going to tell Thenardier “please sir, I want some more” and call JVJ “gov’nah.” What sort of Parisian United Nations is this supposed to take place in? Let’s make it easy: BBC accents for rich people, chav-speak for poor people.

T: AARON TVEIT!!!! I seriously forget every time that Aaron is in Les Mis as rev leader Enjorlas. To theater nerds, you know who he is. To everyone else, you may recognize him as Trip Archibald, Nate’s politician cousin that seduced Serena in Gossip Girl. Or as I know him, a smokeshow Broadway singer that I’m in love with.

M: This anachronistic hair is killing me! Who would have cut Eponine’s side bangs for her? That’s pretty high maintenance for someone who likely would have bathed about as often as she celebrated Christmas.

T: Can someone explain to me why Samantha Barks is so so tiny?! Corset probably? Or like that ancient Chinese foot banding thing but for her waist?

M: God Christ Jesus, Samantha Barks’s waist was achieved with CGI… Right? Mother of God there is no hope for the rest of us.

CGI, yes?

T: Can someone also explain to me why I found Hugh Jackman attractive while he was wearing his Seinfeld puffy shirt and lederhosen??

M: I have grown so old that I can’t sit one way for 20 minutes without my knees hurting. I bet this is super distracting to the people behind me. I mean I hope it is, this girl has kicked my seat back at least once a musical number.

M: My notes during On My Own read “Joey Potter.” I meant this. Holmes killed it. She made that song die.

T: Oh hey, remember that time when my favorite (least favorite) Taylor Swift was almost cast as Eponine? Really dodged a bullet with that one.

M: New blog post: Les Mis songs as written by Taylor Swift? “She wears hoop skirts, I wear corsets, She’s petit bourgeois, I’m just a street kid…”.

M: Are these ridiculously attractive young men representative of what Frenchmen look like? I don’t remember seeing so many handsome gents when I went there, but if someone can confirm I may have to go back.

M: I was cringing the second Gavroche began singing Little People. Don’t even start, lil buddy! It’s not going to go great.

T: Pretty sure I heard somebody snoring during Empty Chairs.

T: Eddie Redmayne tho. WTG.

T: Something I’ve never thought about before: why was it so easy for Cossette and Marius to fall in love after making googly eyes at each other and signing a duet through a cast iron fence? I’m available to do that with a suitor at any time.

M: Why is only Eponine’s face wet? Little fall of rain, indeed.

M: Alright, there it goes on Marius.

M: Dude, no. Javert, no. Get off the ledge. I’m getting a headache.

T: JVJ’s death scene (kind of) verbatim:

JVJ : I can die now. I’m over this.

Fantine: Yes, come hang out with me and all these boys from the rev.

Cossette : No, don’t die. You can’t die.

JVJ: Yes I can.

Cossette: No you can’t!

JVJ: Yes I can, woman! Watch me. PS: Here’s a letter I wrote about my life because I couldn’t tell you when I had the chance.

JVJ dies.

T: Total times I cried: 4. Sounds about right.

M: Cried less than I thought! Like twice-ish. Little tears. I thought I was going to go full-Hathaway.

T: In case you were wondering: ginge foreman was no one. I’m not always right about these things.

M: Just so you know, a lot of people have been googling “Samantha Barks waist” and now I’m oddly concerned that she’ll find out and get self-conscious. Girl, ya look good. I mean she’s probably doing fine, right? Yeah.

Saturday Spotlight: Winter Storm Jo-Bros

THIS WEEK

Some advice to all of you in Winter Storm Jo-Bros, from somebody from one of the snowiest cities in America:
  • Keep kitty litter, sidewalk salt and a shovel INSIDE your house. There are always those bozos snowed in because their shovel is in the garage and they can’t open the door (my region gets 5-foot lake effect drifts, I know what I’m talking about). You don’t want to be that bozo.

ETC.

Seriously, everyone in the storm’s path, stay safe and warm. I know how scary it can be driving on slick roads even if you’re used to it, and how disheartening it can be to shovel for hours only to find the area you cleared out is covered in snow again. Up here, we never panic about snow because we know we can handle it. Maybe that’s the best advice there is: know that you’re stronger and smarter than Winter Storm Jonas Brothers, and you’ll be just fine.

Winter Memes Make Me Feel Fine: #WinterStormJonas

Bad news East Coast/Mid-Atlantic: Your first real hit of winter is coming, or already here, depending on where you are. Hardest hit areas are expected to reach 2 feet of snow, while some areas might even get the dreaded ice storm. God bless.

Good news for the rest of the world: Said storm has been dubbed “Winter Storm Jonas”, which obviously sent the Internet on a tailspin. If this storm had been named Jonas pre-2005, we would’ve been going on MySpace making Weezer references. But we live in a world where Nick, Joe and Kevin (and bonus Jonas) exist and in a matter of minutes, memes appear on the world wide web comparing the coming blizzard to the sibling trio. It’s times like these that I really appreciate the golden age of the Internet. God bless.

Even Joe got in on the joke

And then, the Jonai on the map memes came (with some excellent hairstyles)

And then some edits with lyrics

And more fun with photoshop

Then folks who are hoping this storm means the return of the JoBros (and a dad joke for good measure)

And finally, when we all recognize who the only JoBro we want storming in on us is…

In summary:

Winter Storm Jonas: Unbearable at first:

Then the winds die down, you’re warm in your snuggie and you realize it’s not that bad:

Finally, the blizzard breaks apart and we all basque in that after storm glow when the city looks as dreamy as ever.

Things I’m Thankful For: 2014 Edition

HAPPY THANKSGIVING Y’ALL!! Hope you’re having a great day so far with your loved ones and stuffing your face with all the foods. There’s something about Thanksgiving that kind of makes me sentimental, since it’s one of the only major U.S. holidays that all Americans celebrate no matter what your background is (shout out to July 4th!). Of course, like previously mentioned, Thanksgiving IS about the majahh feasting that happens, but of course it’s a time to be reflective and thankful for all that we have. So here are just a few things I’m thankful for this year. Dig in!

  • Friends Thanksgiving episodes
    • For the past few years, I’ve started my own holiday tradition in which I watch all 10 Thanksgiving-themed episodes as part of a mini-marathon. I think I partly do this because Friends feel like ‘home’ to me, and since I’ve spent the past five years in LA and not back east for the holiday, it makes me feel like there’s some kind of longstanding tradition. Also, these are some of the best episodes of television ever (I ranked all the eps here!).

  • Portable iPhone travel charger
    • Guys, I finally bought one and it has changed my life.
  • Julian Morris on New Girl
    • I never thought I could ship again after Jess and Nick broke up but OHMYGOD freaking Julian Morris. And his face. And his accent. And his charmingness. Like I feel like I am actually Jess Day when she’s flustered around him. It’s insane. 
  • Chris Pratt finally getting the attention he deserves
    • PRATT!! He went from Andy Dwyer to mega movie star and I feel like a proud mom!
  • Coffee ice cubes
    • My favorite coffee shop has optional coffee ice cubes that you can add to your iced coffee (my fave bev) and that way, when the ice melts, IT’S STILL COFFEE.
  • Gilmore Girls on Netflix Instant
    • We love GG here, and the fact that I can now jump from all the Luke/Lorelai episodes and completely shut out April Nardini without having to get up and change disks is the best thing to ever happen to me.
  • Leggings
    • Because comfort, y’all.
  • Deciding not to go to our 10 year high school reunion
    • Molly and I chose to go to New York City the same weekend as our “10 year high school reunion”. After stalking pictures of the “event”, there were approx 10 people who went to the bar, all of whom we’re not friends with, so good call, past Molly & Traci.
  • GIFs
  • Nick Jonas-issance
    • I mean, God Bless America. 
  • Vanilla Almond Butter
    • So I started making flourless pancakes (one ripe banana, 2 eggs, mix and pour on skillet like pancakes) and I usually have a side of Justin’s Natural Vanilla Almond Butter and it is so ridiculously delicious. Why did I just find out about this recently?
  • #TGIT
    • Shondaland on Thursday nights has made appointment television a thing again, and it shows in both their Neilsen ratings and Twitter ratings. Basically, don’t even try to reach me between the hours of 8pm and 11pm on Thursdays – unless you tweet me.
  • Lupita Nyong’o
    • What did we ever do before you, Lupita???
  • The first Dunkin’ Donuts in Los Angeles
    • After years of waiting, LA is finally running on Dunkin’… now if they can just open one that doesn’t take me like 30-40 minutes to get to.
  • Tumblr tags
    • #the best part of tumblr is sometimes the tags #so much subtext
  • Amy Poehler’s Book, Yes Please
    • You think I was going to make a list of things I’m thankful for without mentioning our Queen??
  • YOU GUYS!!
    • Probably the most important item on this list – thank you all so much for reading, whether you’re loyal followers or if this is your first time visiting our site, we sincerely appreciate anyone taking time out to read the crap we put on here. We love you internet.

 

ICYMI: Nick Jonas is Much Better Without His Brothers

Look, sometimes we just need to step back and appreciate what is right in front of us. We get caught up in our daily lives that we don’t notice the magic that has been growing right in front of our eyes. And that magic is Nick Jonas.

The Evolution of Nick Jonas

Last week, millennials who don’t follow the whereabouts of past-Disney child stars were shocked SHOCKED to see these new revealing photographs of former Jonas Brothers brother Nick Jonas:

I know what you’re thinking – he’s 22. It’s (legally) okay. Also, if this reminds you of something, it’s probably because Nick paid homage to the iconic 1992 photoshoot with Mark Wahlberg (of the Funky Bunch at the time) that made heads turn and launched his career into stardom. I imagine this will have a similar effect for Nick Jonas, because now people might think of him as more than just a former product of Disney. Not to mention, he has a new show coming out out DirecTV tonight called Kingdom in which he plays an MMA fighter- but more on that later.

So if you haven’t been following Nick like I have over the past few years (I’m a creep, it’s fine), you’re probably wondering how we go to the place where baby Nick Jonas is grabbing his crotch and you feel slightly turned on by it. Let’s take a quick walk through memory lane and see how he went from fresh-faced heartthrob to Hollywood hunk.

2007 – The Year 3000

Before the Jonas brothers became the Jonas Brothers in 2005, Nick had already had a successful career behind him – he had released a solo album and been on Broadway (which I ironically saw him in Annie Get Your Gun without even knowing). But obviously he became popular when the band blew up and it’s all thanks to Disney. Their cover of UK band Busted’s song Year 3000 was their first real breakout hit. I remember them promoting the shit out of it on the Disney Channel, and from there, they garnered a huge fan base. Nick, the youngest JoBro, was only 15 at the time.

2011 – Hairspray

In a role that was seemingly made for him, Nick played teen heartthrob Link Larkin at the Hollywood Bowl production of Hairspray. I got to see this live and let me tell you, the screams you hear in this video are not from the cast members. They are from real fangirls in the audience who were going crazy over Nick’s hip movements. I was so impressed with his vocal range here and my crush grew even more.

2013 – The Instagram reveal

You know those moments when you hear news for the first time and you’ll always remember where you were and what you were doing at that specific time? I feel that way about when I saw this picture. I remember staring at it on Instagram in awe and unwilling to believe this was the same Nick Jonas I had been secretly pining for over the past few years. He says it was his diabetes that inspired him to take better care of his body. I mean whatever, man. You do you.


 Nick made his debut as a MMA cage fighter in Kingdom this week, and judging by the first episode, it’s clear that he made the right decision in disbanding from his brothers and going out on his own. And as hard as it was to accept their breakup, we should’ve seen it coming all along…

An Analysis Of The Jonas Brothers Breakup, Through Lyrics

The Background

The JoBros announced this week that they were cancelling their tour. “It is over for now,” said Kevin, the brother who is allowed to have sex now.  Their spokesman – not “a source,” but actual spokesperson – said “there is a deep rift within the band. There was a big a disagreement over their music direction.” Nick Jonas, who is supposed to be the cute one, maybe?, said “the pro is that you have a really good support system. The con is that you are with the same people every day for a long time, which, if you’re family or not, can be a lot at times.” Ouch. Joe Jonas, the other brother, who is neither the youngest nor the most sexually active of the group, added glumly, “it was a unanimous decision.” If you’ve been paying attention to the lyrics, you probably saw it coming.

Our “Qualifications”

Did you see our post, A Psychological Analysis Of Miley Cyrus’ Lyrics? It was published before any singles on Miley’s new album dropped, well before the fated VMA performance, and it foretold the very things concern trolls were going to say about Miss Destiny Hope months later. Clearly, there were some secrets in her songs, and I was just the lady to extract them, by poking and prodding and contorting her lyrics until secrets exploded out like horrible cystic acne.

So, it’s like I’m some kind of combination of a psychologist, a psychic, a literary analyst, and an esthetician*.  CBS or FOX could make a series about me solving stuff via blog and cast a way more attractive person in my place. They could call it The Blog Psychic or The Lyrical Psychologist, though the latter sounds more like a Weinstein-y Oscars bait piece, especially if they cast a more attractive person in my place but fit her with prosthetics to make her less attractive. Just, you know, do a Full Halle. Really Charlize it. All of that.

When I saw that the Jonas Brothers broke up, I knew the clues were in their lyrics, too. They had to be. So, I Veronica Mars’ed it a little. And friends, the signs were there all along.

The Evidence:

Time For Me To Fly

Lyrics:

Time for me to fly
Time for me to soar
Time for me to open up my heart and knock on heavens door
Time for me to live
It’s time for me to sing
Time for me to lay down all my worries and I’ll spread my wings
Time for me to fly

Analysis:

This is early, early Jonas Brothers – vintage 2006 – but obviously someone was already pretty over it. Some may say that the lyrics about “heaven’s door”, wings, and “lay[ing] down all my worries” are oblique references to death and heaven. To that I say, Yeah. EXACTLY. It was T-7 years until the demise of the JoBros and someone was already ready to die to get out.

That’s Just The Way We Roll

Lyrics:

I woke up on my roof with my brothers
There’s a whale in the pool with my mother
And my dad paints the house different colors
Where would we be, if we couldn’t dream?

Analysis:

First of all, as you enter your twenties – as the Jonas Brothers have maybe, probably all done by now – children of unstable homes, all roof-sleeping with large aquatic mammals in the pool, slapping the  house in the wackiest colors Benjamin Moore could dream of, learn to create a little stability for themselves. That’s why the old one got married, and had or is going to have a baby. I forget which. Does it really matter?

The Langston Hughes-y line at the end of the verse says it all: Where would we be, if we couldn’t dream? Truly, what happens to a dream deferred? Does it shrivel up like a raisin in the sun, leaving you stranded on a tour bus with your adult siblings, singing pop tunes to a rapidly waning fan-base of young girls? Or does it explode, like so much water from the blowhole of a swimming pool whale?

Pushing Me Away

Lyrics:

You’re going nowhere
Try to fix what you’ve done […]
Pushing me away
Every last word, every single thing you say […]
try to stop me now but it’s already too late […]
If you really don’t care then say it to my face
Pushing me away

Analysis:

Wow, guys. Just wow. Pretty prescient, right? Going nowhere? As in, staying in one place? Because you are not on tour? A tour where you would, presumably, be going somewhere? Pushing me away – as in, out of our Band of Brothers? Signs, signs, everywhere a sign.

Sorry

Lyrics:

Broken hearts and last goodbyes
Restless nights but lullabies
Helps to make this pain go away
I realize I let you down
Told you that I’d be around
Buildin’ up the strength just to say

I’m sorry
For breakin’ all the promises that I wasn’t around to keep
It’s all me
This time is the last time I will ever beg you to stay
But you’re already on your way

Analysis:

As the oldest Jonas Brother prepares to embrace fatherhood (lullabies!), he takes stock of his band’s inevitable breakup (last goodbyes!). He told his brothers he’d be around (because they’re brothers!) but ultimately wasn’t able to keep his promise (they broke up!). He begs the others to stay (“unanimous decision,” Joe? The lady doth protest too much.) Even five years ago, Kevin was planning his out as soon as he welcomed his firstborn. Perhaps before the band took off, he met the devil, disguised as an old jazz man or a swamp witch, who promised him fame and glory in exchange for his firstborn. Maybe that’s why it had to end now. Maybe that was the only way.

Don’t Speak

Lyrics:

I thought I was cool
But I just looked a fool
For so long
Now you’re gone […]
Don’t speak to me […]
I recall all our fights

Analysis:

As the first decade of the 2000s comes to a close, a Jonas Brother – maybe Nick, maybe not – realizes that he does not look as cool as he once thought he did. Once young enough to be ensnared by Disney’s glittery neon web, he has grown and changed since the band’s early days. He names his song after a hit single by No Doubt, hoping, praying, that it lends him some credibility – that it makes him cool, rather than looking like a fool. Sometimes the brothers do not speak, but they fight. And Nick, or whoever, remembers. How could he forget?

Found

Lyrics:

Kids gotta grow
This kind of life is bound to bore you
Yeah I should know
But you always seem to break the rhythm
In this messed up world

Analysis:

This 2013 tune could be one of the last the Jonas Brothers ever record, and it lays it all out there, raw and real. Children grow up. This kind of life – a pop trio with your brothers – is bound to bore you, no matter how many games of Mario Kart I imagine they play on their tour bus, how many bags of Cheetos and Sour Patch Kids are probably guaranteed on their tour rider. It is time to break the rhythm in this messed up world — to end the band. As Fleetwood Mac once said, time makes you bolder, children get older, and Joe, Nick, and Kevin are getting older, too.

* Note: this satire. I am not a psychologist, a psychic, a literary analyst, nor an esthetician. I have no insight into the Jonas Brothers breakup. I don’t even know which one is which. As in, I had to look up their names. I thought there was a Matt – like, really could have sworn there was a Matt. Are we sure they didn’t break up because they stopped asking Matt around? I feel bad for him.

Saturday Spotlight: Nick Jonas Is NOT Totally 80s (But Lots Of Other Things Are)

Choose Your Own Adventure Books, cheesy horror movies, and Neil Patrick Harris are all 80s icons. So are old-school cartoons like Care Bears and My Little Pony. Mila Kunis WAS a baby in the 80s, and now she HAS a baby in the 2010s. Circuses? Eh, sure. They were around then. But Nick Jonas? He wasn’t even a gleam in Papa Jonas’s eye then. But look at him now! No, really. Look at him now. You won’t regret it. Continue reading

The Evolution of Nick Jonas

Last week, millennials who don’t follow the whereabouts of past-Disney child stars were shocked SHOCKED to see these new revealing photographs of former Jonas Brothers brother Nick Jonas:

I know what you’re thinking – he’s 22. It’s (legally) okay. Also, if this reminds you of something, it’s probably because Nick paid homage to the iconic 1992 photoshoot with Mark Wahlberg (of the Funky Bunch at the time) that made heads turn and launched his career into stardom. I imagine this will have a similar effect for Nick Jonas, because now people might think of him as more than just a former product of Disney. Not to mention, he has a new show coming out out DirecTV tonight called Kingdom in which he plays an MMA fighter- but more on that later.

So if you haven’t been following Nick like I have over the past few years (I’m a creep, it’s fine), you’re probably wondering how we go to the place where baby Nick Jonas is grabbing his crotch and you feel slightly turned on by it. Let’s take a quick walk through memory lane and see how he went from fresh-faced heartthrob to Hollywood hunk.

2007 – The Year 3000

Before the Jonas brothers became the Jonas Brothers in 2005, Nick had already had a successful career behind him – he had released a solo album and been on Broadway (which I ironically saw him in Annie Get Your Gun without even knowing). But obviously he became popular when the band blew up and it’s all thanks to Disney. Their cover of UK band Busted’s song Year 3000 was their first real breakout hit. I remember them promoting the shit out of it on the Disney Channel, and from there, they garnered a huge fan base. Nick, the youngest JoBro, was only 15 at the time.

2007 – Me and Mr. Jonas and Mr. Jonas and Mr. Jonas

That popularity helped them snag a guest role on Hannah Montana, where they played themselves. Incidentally, Nick had a small thing for Hannah Montana herself – is it art imitating life or life imitating art?? Just from this clip alone, you knew they were destined for bigger things. And that Nick was going to be trouble for Miley.

2008 – Camp Rock

Hot on the heels of High School Musical, Disney’s DCOMs (Disney Channel Original Movies) had found new life, and among them was this music summer camp movie, Camp Rock, featuring the JoBros and Demi Lovato. Nick didn’t really have a big part in the first movie, besides his hair. Seriously, props to him for not caving in to the flat iron peer pressure.

2009 – Grammys

Around this time, the Jonai were the One Direction of their time, which is a sad sentence for me to type out. They were nominated for Best New Artist at the Grammys, but lost out to Adele. Fair. Also around this time – my secret crush on Nick was starting to form. It was clear to me he was going to be the star out of the three of them. I mean look at him next to the other two. Joe looks like he’s auditioning to be in a reboot of Miami Vice and Kevin can’t wait to have sex with his new wife.

2009 – Jonas

The bigwigs over at Disney decided it was about time they give the JoBros their own TV show, and it was fittingly called Jonas. The boys played themselves with fake parents and an occasional visit from little brother, bonus Jonas Frankie. I’m not going to lie to y’all, I went through a serious Disney Channel phase that I didn’t grow out of until a few years ago. So I legit watched Jonas every week, and it really wasn’t THAT bad. I will say that in the clip above, Nick sounds super nasally but I still love this song. It’s the inner teeny bopper in me, what can I say?

2009 – Before the Storm

In what would be their last studio album, Lines, Vines, and Trying Times, Nick basically sings solo on a song called Before the Storm featuring his ex-girlfriend Miley Cyrus. The song is obvs about their relationship, so when she show up unexpected at the concert seen in the video, it was a big deal. While it seemed like they had a brief rekindling of their romance, Miley went off to film The Last Song shortly thereafter, and the rest is history. Probs for the best though.

2010 – Nick Jonas and the Administration

Nick’s nickname in the band/family was Mr. President because he was always the serious one and had mentioned as a youngster his political aspirations. It’s clearly too late for that now. But he took that nickname and ran with it and started a solo project. The lead single Who I Am did okay, but it still didn’t bomb like Joe’s attempted solo album. Anyways, Nick even went on tour with the Administration, and I have no shame in saying that for my birthday in 2010, I went to see him in concert. H8rs to da left.

2010 – Camp Rock 2

Of course Disney needed to ride on the Camp Rock wave one final time. Luckily for Nick fans, this movie actually featured a plot/love interest for him, and not just Joe/Demi. Nick likes to woo his girls by playing guitar and singing and TBH if it ain’t broke, don’t fix it.

2010 – Jonas LA

So Disney bosses decided the New York City-set Jonas needed a revamp so after some tweaking, the show returned, but this time in LA. However, Nick’s penchant for acoustic guitar serenades did not go away.

2010 – Les Miserables

Nick returned to his theater roots by performing in the West End production of Les Mis as lovelorn Marius. Fun fact: he actually played baby Gavroche on Broadway in 2003. Anyways, in addition to his West End run, Nick also played Marius in the 25th anniversary concert, which was a polarizing part for theater nerds all over the world.

2011 – Hairspray

In a role that was seemingly made for him, Nick played teen heartthrob Link Larkin at the Hollywood Bowl production of Hairspray. I got to see this live and let me tell you, the screams you hear in this video are not from the cast members. They are from real fangirls in the audience who were going crazy over Nick’s hip movements. I was so impressed with his vocal range here and my crush grew even more.

2012 – How to Succeed in Business Without Really Trying

Nick made his triumphant return to Broadway by filling in for Darren Criss and Daniel Radcliffe before him. And the fact that the show closed weeks after he started has nothing to do with his performance. Actually I have no idea, he could’ve been horrible for all we know, but look at how good he looks in a bow tie!

2013 – Hawaii Five-0

As the reality of the Jonas Brothers’ demise was sinking in, Nick was out to prove that he was more than just a guy in a boy band, and had a recurring role on Hawaii Five-O. I’m not exactly sure what he did, but his hoodie is open and revealing his chest.

2013 – The Instagram reveal

You know those moments when you hear news for the first time and you’ll always remember where you were and what you were doing at that specific time? I feel that way about when I saw this picture. I remember staring at it on Instagram in awe and unwilling to believe this was the same Nick Jonas I had been secretly pining for over the past few years. He says it was his diabetes that inspired him to take better care of his body. I mean whatever, man. You do you.

And thanks to the magic that is Nick’s Instagram/the internet, we have been graced with even more photos of Nick and his muscles. Mainly his muscles.

Probs serenading a girl he’s trying to woo.

IT’S LIKE HE’S PHOTOSHOPPED.

IS HE FLEXING OR RELAXED NO ONE WILL KNOW

2014 – Solo project Take 2

With his hot bod and hot girlfriend and hot bod, Nick debuted his post-Jo Bros sound, and it’s actually quite good. It’s a lot different than Nick Jonas and the Administration. There’s a lot of R&B, hip-hop and even some Motown-y vibes in the new stuff and it shows a more adult side that he was never able to play before. Also, I’m obsessed with this song.

 2014 – Kingdom

That brings us to Kingdom, a new drama series which premieres tonight. Part of Nick’s bodybuilding training also has to do with the fact that he plays an up and coming MMA fighter who comes from a long legacy of prestigious fighters. I admit that this type of show doesn’t necessarily look like the kind I’d be into, but when you have Nick Jonas and Matt Lauria of Friday Night Lights/Parenthood fame, you best believe I’m DVRing the shit out of that. And I can’t wait to see where Nick’s career takes him from here.

Fall TV Rookies to Watch

It’s Day 4 of Back to TV Week, and today we’re giving you a handy guide as to who you’re going to be obsessed with for the new TV season. Okay, maybe we won’t make your expectations THAT high, but the following folks are either completely new to TV or have been secondary players for a while and are finally getting their shot at being big time TV stars. So feel free to judge these actors based on the blurbs below before you even see any of their shows, or just watch them when they come on your television sets next month. (Helpful tip: All the folks I chose are from shows I think are worth watching for at least one episode!) Mix and match, trade one for the other, whatever you feel is best for your personal TV viewing. Game on!

Alfie Enoch, How to Get Away with Murder

Stats

Previous Work: Sherlock, Broadchurch, oh and Harry Potter. All of the movies. BECAUSE HE WAS DEAN FREAKING THOMAS. DEAN THOMAS, Y’ALL!
Why You Should Watch Him: As a British actor, Alfie, sorry, Alfred, grew up doing all the Harry Potter movies and that’s what he became known for around the world. He stayed in his native England and worked on a few projects there, but this is the first time U.S. audiences are seeing him not only with an American accent but as an adult. Also, this show is from Shondaland and I will forever watch anything she creates. This is the show to watch this season.
When You Can Watch Him: Thursdays @ 10pm beginning on September 25th #TGIT
How to Get Away with Murder Trailer

Nick Jonas, Kingdom

Stats

Previous Work: Hawaii Five-0, Smash, Camp Rock, Jonas, Jonas L.A., the hot Jonas Brother
Why You Should Watch Him: I’ve said it before, I’ll say it again. Nick Jonas is the only Jonas brother worth caring about. Ever since his whole diabetes crusade, dude has gotten JACKED. Like, you’ve seen this Instagram selfie he posted, right? Which makes him perfect for this role as a young MMA fighter who has a ton of promise. Pair him with Matt Lauria from Friday Night Lights/Parenthood, and I’m sold.
When You Can Watch Him: Wednesdays @ 9pm beginning on October 8th on DirecTV’s Audience network
Kingdom Trailer

Joey McIntyre, The McCarthys

Stats

Previous Work: Boston Public, CSI: New York, Psych, New Year’s Eve, the baby of New Kids on the Block
Why You Should Watch Him: Boy banders turn to TV on their down time, apparently. Joey Mac isn’t really stretching his acting ability in this one – he plays a guy from Boston who is obsessed with sports. I know, not a stereotype at all. It’s a traditional mutli-cam sitcom, which means it’s perfect for CBS and moms in middle America. But I mean, for other people too.
When You Can Watch Him: Thursdays @ 9:30pm beginning on October 30th on CBS
The McCarthys Trailer

Tone Bell, Bad Judge

Stats

Previous Work: Key and Peele, Whitney, Chelsea Lately
Why You Should Watch Him: Tone plays a bailiff whose name is Tedward. Tedward Mulray. And if the name doesn’t convince you to tune in, you should know that even for a sitcom, he provides excellent comic relief. That’s not a slight to the fab Kate Walsh in the slightest, BTW. In the trailer alone, Tone stands out. If you watch The Mindy Project, he reminds me of the hilarious Tamra, who is ridiculous but will also set you straight.
When You Can Watch Him: Thursdays @ 9pm beginning on October 2nd on NBC
Bad Judge Trailer

Sarah Wright, Marry Me

Stats

Previous Work: Mixology, Men at Work, 7th Heaven, Parks and Recreation (Jerry’s daughter Millicent who dated Chris!)
Why You Should Watch Her: I feel like she plays a somewhat innocent straight girl on sitcoms a lot, but that’s because she’s great at it. It’ll be fun to see what her relationship is like with Casey Wilson’s character in this show, and if it goes one for at least more than one season, Sarah is sitting pretty for her TV career.
When You Can Watch Her: Tuesdays @ 9pm beginning on October 14th on NBC
Marry Me Trailer

Karen Gillan, Selfie

Stats

Previous Work: Doctor Who, NTSF:SD:SUV, Guardians of the Galaxy
Why You Should Watch Her: If you watch Doctor who, Karan is no rookie. However if you’re an American who’s not into that kind of stuff, Karen is a fairly unknown to mainstream television. Selfie’s a take on My Fair Lady/Pygmalion and her name is legit Eliza Doolie, and her mentor to make her less social media obsessed/more classy is a guy named Henry, played by John Cho. That’s right nerds, Sulu and Amy Pond are probs going to hook up if the show goes full season. And after seeing the pilot (which you can view online now), it has a good chance of a going all year.
When You Can Watch Her: Tuesdays @ 8pm beginning on September 30th on ABC
Selfie Pilot

Grant Gustin, The Flash

Stats

Previous Work: Glee, 90210
Why You Should Watch Him: He may have been an annoying Warbler from a competing school on Glee, but Grant is full on superhero in the much-talked about The Flash TV series. The CW is really capitalizing on its hottie heroes, and Grant is definitely going to join the ranks of his network pals. Also, bonus; Dawson Leery’s dad is in this show!
When You Can Watch Him: Tuesdays @ 8pm beginning on October 7th on CW
The Flash Trailer

John Mulaney, Mulaney

Stats

Previous Work: Writer on Saturday Night Live (he wrote Stefon sketches!)
Why You Should Watch Him: John Mulaney is mostly known for his stand-up comedy and work on SNL. After a year of his show floating around NBC, it found a home at FOX and now people get to finally see his starring show – and compare him to Jerry Seinfeld. Probably because the first scene in the trailer is him doing stand-up. I just really want him to do well. And I’m not just saying that because he’s a fellow Asian (he’s not).
When You Can Watch Him: Sundays @ 9:30pm beginning on October 5th on FOX
Mulaney Trailer

Ben Feldman, A to Z

Stats

Previous Work: Mad Men, Drop Dead Diva, The Mindy Project
Why You Should Watch Him: Oh Ginsberg. (Mad Men minor spoiler) I always knew you would go crazy one day. His role on Mad Men is completely different than as Andrew on rom-com A to Z. If you saw him on the Mindy Project, he’s much more like that on this new show than Ginsberg. And it’s fantastic.
When You Can Watch Him: Thursdays @ 9:30pm beginning on October 2nd on NBC
A to Z Trailer
Cristin Milioti, A to Z

Stats

Previous Work: 30 Rock, The Sopranos, The Wolf of Wall Street, Once The Musical, titular star of How I Met Your Mother
Why You Should Watch Her: Because if anybody deserves support on television, it’s Cristin Milioti. If you watched HIMYM and are on the side of ‘the last 10 minutes of the show didn’t actually happen’, you should watch A to Z. It has the same romantic comedy feel that HIMYM had, but hopefully this won’t end the same way. The pilot is currently available to watch before the premiere in October, and after having built it up so much in my head, I can say that it was worth it. A to Z is definitely on my must watch list this season.
When You Can Watch Her: Thursdays @ 9:30pm beginning on October 2nd on NBC
A to Z Pilot