Best ___ Of 2017: Some Really Specific Superlatives

We thought 2016 was bad. Guess what? We were all freaking wrong. 2017 was a dumpster fire of its own. The nightmare administration, disgusting politicians attempting to pass horrific laws, KKK rallies, multiple earthquakes, hurricanes, floods, wildfires, and The Mindy Project coming to an end – it was all very, very bad. Which is why we’re here to celebrate the best things to come out of 2017. It’s time for our annual list of superlatives, and hopefully we’ll all gain perspective from this list about the past year.

 

Best Candid Group Celebrity Photo: Moonlight Mixup

Celebrities: They’re Just Like Us. So much to look at in this photo, which will forever live in Hollywood infamy. Fun fact: Busy Philipps’ husband got her a large framed version of this for Christmas. She obvs had to give one to her BFF Michelle, too.

Best New Life Motto From a Politician: “Reclaiming My Time”

Finding inspiration from California Representative Maxine Waters, the two of us decided that our official motto of 2018 is “Reclaiming My Time”. From life, from work, from politics, from everything. Let this not be a year where you sit back and let folks mansplain to you.

Best Shady Company Twitter Account: Merriam-Webster

Never thought I’d be praising a dictionary’s internet account, but here we are. Give this social media person a raise. It’s the perfect way to call out the administration without actually straight out calling out the administration.

Best New Show That’s Actually Been a Hit For Years But I Joined So Late To The Party: The Great British Bake-Off

I binged all of GBBO this summer and it did NOT disappoint. I realized y’all (including Molly) had been singing its praises for a while, but when you’re unemployed and find baking mesmerizing and soothing to watch, it’s inevitable you’ll fall in love with this bunch. And also pretend you’re a baker too.

Best Pregnancy Announcement Featuring Florals: Beyonce

No explanation needed.

Best Celebrity Insta Story: Busy Philipps

Ready.

A post shared by Busy Philipps (@busyphilipps) on

You know her from Freaks and Geeks, or White Chicks, or Dawson’s Creek, or even Cougartown, but you should know Busy Philipps from her Instagram stories that are entertaining beyond entertaining. She’s a mom of 2 girls, a fitness fan (#lekfit), and an actress who might not be an actress anymore. She’s *relatable* and funny and guyyysss, you just have to check it out for yourself.

Best TV Revival We Didn’t Need But Was Actually Pretty Good: Will & Grace

I will be the first to tell you that a Will & Grace revival was not necessary. I was a fan of the show when it was on, but there was really no legit reason for it to return besides the fact nostalgia makes companies money these days. And the series finale canon. THE CANON WAS BROKEN AND THROWN OUT THE WINDOW. I do not enjoy when shows/movies do not follow canon. After a shaky first episode back, they found their footing in the second episode and it’s been fantastic ever since. The creators, writers, and actors seem like they never took a nearly decade-long break, and the tone is exactly the same as it used to be. In a world where everything seems to suck, this show is a welcome relief.

Best Display of Arts & Crafts in Honor of The Resistance : The Women’s March

So. Many. Good. Signs.

Best Author To Happen To Streaming TV: Margaret Atwood

If there’s one good thing I can say about 2017 it’s that the coolest woman in television was a 78-year-old Canadian author. With the one-two punch of Alias Grace on Netflix and The Handmaid’s Tale on Hulu, we had Margaret’s interpretation of one society long before ours and another slightly after … and both looked a lot like our own. They watch really well as companion pieces, by the way.  Keep up the good work, Mags. Cat’s Eye on Amazon Prime 2020, perhaps?

Best Real-Life Hallmark Movie: Meghan Markle and Prince Harry’s Engagement

Some might say that it’s silly to care about foreign figureheads using taxpayer money to throw an enormous wedding, but 2017 was a steaming cesspool of a year and I’d like to have this one thing, please. We wrote about this already, but a biracial American actress with middle-class roots getting engaged to a prince – while he cooked for her! – and they’ll live in a cottage! – is the stuff low-budget romcoms are made of and I am HERE. FOR. IT.

Best Celebrity Vacation: Obama’s Post-Presidential Blast

In January 2017, we were all kind of cold and sad and Obama was, like, kite-sailing on billionaire islands with a smile that could light up the whole White House and looking like that person who really *thrives* after a breakup.

Best Viral Revolution: #MeToo

Fall 2017: when our favorite hobby was watching dirtbag producers, news anchors and celebrities get ripped to pieces. This one calls for a Michael Jackson popcorn gif:

But before Hollywood’s reckoning, thousands of normal folks were using #MeToo to give voice to the stuff we all knew was going on.

Best Wedding Dress I Could Never Pull Off : Serena Williams

I don’t necessarily want to see celebrity wedding dresses that I’d totally wear; instead, I love when they wear gorgeous creations that I could absolutely never pull off. Cue Serena Williams’ giant cloud by Sarah Burton for Alexander McQueen. You know you look good when your bridesmaid is Venus Williams in a stunning ivory gown and you aren’t even worried about it.

Best Unexpected Gay Icon: The Babadook

Babadook-ook-ook. We watched the movie and discussed it here.

Best Physical Comedy (Political Division): Melissa McCarthy as Sean Spicer

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All The Reasons I’m Delighted Meghan Markle Is A Princess

Prince Harry is engaged. He’s engaged to Meghan Markle, somebody other than me, which would have been a real sticking point for my 11-year-old self. I couldn’t be happier with his choice, though. Meghan Markle is no Chelsie or Cressida (why can my brain store that spelling of Chelsie, and the name Cressida at all, but none of my logins or passwords?). Meghan’s an American, and she’s biracial, and she has a job, and her dogs are cute. This is great!

[If you’re here to say (1) this news doesn’t matter, or (2) the royals are just regular humans who get to live in palaces and dress their children in shortpants with taxpayer money, or (3) Meghan definitely won’t be getting the title princess … see ya later! You won’t have fun here!]

In no particular order, here are the reasons I’m grabbing on to this happy story like a life preserver in an ocean of garbage news:

The idea of a Princess Meghan is delightful

There are princess names and there are middle-class American girl names, and Meghan is a middle-class American girl name. It’s also pretty well date-stamped in the late ’70s through late ’90s, for the most part. That’s why the idea of a Princess Meghan has me absolutely tickled. If she was Margaret (for which the Welsh Megan is a diminutive), I wouldn’t bat an eye, but Princess Meghan sounds forever and always like a little girl in 1993 playing pretend. For the record, this isn’t an attack on Megans or Meghans, almost all of whom I really like – I’m truly delighted by this development. It’s like having a Princess Madison in 20 years. It’s fun! Princess Meghan!

Note: she’ll end up with a lesser title, like Catherine, Duchess of Cambridge, or Sophie, Countess of Wessex. It’ll still be great.

Note 2: Meghan is Markle’s middle name. Her real first name is Rachel, which I’d argue is more royal.

Meghan Markle has nice handwriting

This is so princessy (duchessy, countessy, lady-like): Meghan Markle’s secret talent is calligraphy. In most lives this is a cool but not necessarily useful skill, but she’s going to write so many beautiful thank-you notes on engraved stationary as a royal, and I’m so happy for her.

It’s not just the cursive that I love, it’s the respectful gesture of sending a handwritten note.

Meghan is a Rescue Dog Mom

Queen Elizabeth has her corgis, and I like to imagine that in her royal residence, Meghan is going to have a mismatched pack of mutts. Unfortunately, due to his age Meghan’s rescue pup Bogart will not be able to immigrate. I hope he gets a good home but as the owner of an elderly rescue dog myself, I’m so sorry he can’t make the trip.

They Are Going To Live In A Tiny Royal Cottage!

The future residence of Harry and Meghan is Nottingham Cottage, an honest-to-goodness 19th century cottage within the grounds of Kensington Palace. It has two bedrooms and one bathroom and super low ceilings. And a garden and a hammock! The idea of a literal prince playing house in a quaint toy cottage is the stuff of rom-com dreams. Queen Elizabeth’s nanny used to live there, and she said that it “looks as if it had got to London quite by mistake from some distant country place.” I die.

This Whole Thing Is A Hallmark Christmas Movie Setup

Listen. My family loves Hallmark Christmas Movies so much that my dad records the new ones and watches all of them when I visit. We love cataloging all of the tropes – girl moves to a small town and everyone instantly loves her! she is a busy doctor/veterinarian and doesn’t have time for love! she falls in love with a man who works with his hands in a very Christmas-specific industry, like Christmas tree farming or ice sculpture! sometimes somebody is secretly Santa’s nephew – and there’s a whole subset that involve a normal person falling in love with a prince or princess. This is IT. Meghan grew up “normal”: her mom is a social worker/yoga instructor, and her dad is a lighting designer, and they divorced when she was little. When her acting career was still on the climb, Meghan worked as a freelance calligrapher, which is the most Lifetime movie thing I can think of (unless Prince Harry is secretly Santa’s nephew). Eventually, she lands a leading role on a successful TV series – and wins the love of a prince after being set up on a blind date with him. It’s almost too good to be true.

The Royals Are Getting A Little Less White

There’s so much to love here. Little kids in the US and UK – those who care about the royal family, anyway – can look up to a royal who actually looks like them. Prince Charles will be the co-parent-in-law with a black woman. Queen Elizabeth will have great-grandkids who are part black. Finally, the royal family is starting to look… well, like a lot of other families.

A Royal Wedding!

The best thing about royal weddings is they involve all the things I love about weddings (seeing what the dress, decor, music and readings are like) and none of the things I don’t (buying a dress, buying a gift, paying for travel). The best wedding is the one you watch on TV at like 5 in the morning.