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Best ___ Of 2017: Some Really Specific Superlatives

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We thought 2016 was bad. Guess what? We were all freaking wrong. 2017 was a dumpster fire of its own. The nightmare administration, disgusting politicians attempting to pass horrific laws, KKK rallies, multiple earthquakes, hurricanes, floods, wildfires, and The Mindy Project coming to an end – it was all very, very bad. Which is why we’re here to celebrate the best things to come out of 2017. It’s time for our annual list of superlatives, and hopefully we’ll all gain perspective from this list about the past year.

 

Best Candid Group Celebrity Photo: Moonlight Mixup

Celebrities: They’re Just Like Us. So much to look at in this photo, which will forever live in Hollywood infamy. Fun fact: Busy Philipps’ husband got her a large framed version of this for Christmas. She obvs had to give one to her BFF Michelle, too.

Best New Life Motto From a Politician: “Reclaiming My Time”

Finding inspiration from California Representative Maxine Waters, the two of us decided that our official motto of 2018 is “Reclaiming My Time”. From life, from work, from politics, from everything. Let this not be a year where you sit back and let folks mansplain to you.

Best Shady Company Twitter Account: Merriam-Webster

Never thought I’d be praising a dictionary’s internet account, but here we are. Give this social media person a raise. It’s the perfect way to call out the administration without actually straight out calling out the administration.

Best New Show That’s Actually Been a Hit For Years But I Joined So Late To The Party: The Great British Bake-Off

I binged all of GBBO this summer and it did NOT disappoint. I realized y’all (including Molly) had been singing its praises for a while, but when you’re unemployed and find baking mesmerizing and soothing to watch, it’s inevitable you’ll fall in love with this bunch. And also pretend you’re a baker too.

Best Pregnancy Announcement Featuring Florals: Beyonce

No explanation needed.

Best Celebrity Insta Story: Busy Philipps

View this post on Instagram

Ready.

A post shared by Busy Philipps (@busyphilipps) on

You know her from Freaks and Geeks, or White Chicks, or Dawson’s Creek, or even Cougartown, but you should know Busy Philipps from her Instagram stories that are entertaining beyond entertaining. She’s a mom of 2 girls, a fitness fan (#lekfit), and an actress who might not be an actress anymore. She’s *relatable* and funny and guyyysss, you just have to check it out for yourself.

Best TV Revival We Didn’t Need But Was Actually Pretty Good: Will & Grace

I will be the first to tell you that a Will & Grace revival was not necessary. I was a fan of the show when it was on, but there was really no legit reason for it to return besides the fact nostalgia makes companies money these days. And the series finale canon. THE CANON WAS BROKEN AND THROWN OUT THE WINDOW. I do not enjoy when shows/movies do not follow canon. After a shaky first episode back, they found their footing in the second episode and it’s been fantastic ever since. The creators, writers, and actors seem like they never took a nearly decade-long break, and the tone is exactly the same as it used to be. In a world where everything seems to suck, this show is a welcome relief.

Best Display of Arts & Crafts in Honor of The Resistance : The Women’s March

So. Many. Good. Signs.

Best Author To Happen To Streaming TV: Margaret Atwood

If there’s one good thing I can say about 2017 it’s that the coolest woman in television was a 78-year-old Canadian author. With the one-two punch of Alias Grace on Netflix and The Handmaid’s Tale on Hulu, we had Margaret’s interpretation of one society long before ours and another slightly after … and both looked a lot like our own. They watch really well as companion pieces, by the way.  Keep up the good work, Mags. Cat’s Eye on Amazon Prime 2020, perhaps?

Best Real-Life Hallmark Movie: Meghan Markle and Prince Harry’s Engagement

Some might say that it’s silly to care about foreign figureheads using taxpayer money to throw an enormous wedding, but 2017 was a steaming cesspool of a year and I’d like to have this one thing, please. We wrote about this already, but a biracial American actress with middle-class roots getting engaged to a prince – while he cooked for her! – and they’ll live in a cottage! – is the stuff low-budget romcoms are made of and I am HERE. FOR. IT.

Best Celebrity Vacation: Obama’s Post-Presidential Blast

In January 2017, we were all kind of cold and sad and Obama was, like, kite-sailing on billionaire islands with a smile that could light up the whole White House and looking like that person who really *thrives* after a breakup.

Best Viral Revolution: #MeToo

Fall 2017: when our favorite hobby was watching dirtbag producers, news anchors and celebrities get ripped to pieces. This one calls for a Michael Jackson popcorn gif:

But before Hollywood’s reckoning, thousands of normal folks were using #MeToo to give voice to the stuff we all knew was going on.

Best Wedding Dress I Could Never Pull Off : Serena Williams

I don’t necessarily want to see celebrity wedding dresses that I’d totally wear; instead, I love when they wear gorgeous creations that I could absolutely never pull off. Cue Serena Williams’ giant cloud by Sarah Burton for Alexander McQueen. You know you look good when your bridesmaid is Venus Williams in a stunning ivory gown and you aren’t even worried about it.

Best Unexpected Gay Icon: The Babadook

Babadook-ook-ook. We watched the movie and discussed it here.

Best Physical Comedy (Political Division): Melissa McCarthy as Sean Spicer

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#SquadGoals: The Great British Bake-Off Edition

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Well, I finally did it. I caved like a chocolate soufflé fresh out the oven. I watched The Great British Bake-Off (Or The Great British Baking Show for us Americans).

Of course I’ve heard nothing but good things about it for a while now (see Molly’s spot on post from last year), and for some reason, on a recent Sunday night (morning?) at 12:30am, I decided to press play on season 1 and it was all downhill from there.

About a week and a half later, I’m nearly caught up with the most recent season and pretty much convinced myself I, too, can make scrummy plaited breads with no soggy bottoms. But one of the main reasons I became obsessed with the show is that every contestant was utterly delightful – there was no animosity between them, and in fact, like Molly said in her post, they’re all helpful and supportive of each other. Of course I had my favorites like any other TV competition show, but there were some bakers who stood out for me more than the others, the ones that I would love to hang out with outside of the tent, the ones who would cheer me on even if the cold, hard reality of my lack of baking skills was slapped in my face like a dough being kneaded harshly against the bench.

Have I gone too far with the GBBO refs? Get used to it, muffins. Here are the contestants from the four seasons (that have aired in the U.S.) that I would love to start a squad with. Do you agree/want to join? Read on to find out.

Ready? Set! BAaakkEEE!

Season 1/Series 4

Glenn

The moment Glenn popped up on my screen, I was all in. He’s a teacher who kept a positive attitude but knew when to be comically self-depreciating when need be. I just wanted to give him a hug any time he didn’t get the best feedback from the judges. Plus, he’s a gay British man, which is like, my target demo.

Kimberley

The runner-up had a smile that could light up the room. Yes, I realize that is the cliche-est of all the cliches, but it’s true. She was confident enough in her baking and not the type to beat herself up if she didn’t have a good round. And just back to that smile real quick – who wouldn’t want that on a day when you’re feeling shitty?

Season 2/Series 5

Kate

Kate had light pink streaks in her hair and that’s why I like her. The end.

JK. But anyone who has pink hair has to be a certain type of bold character to wear it proudly, and Kate is just that. Her attitude was the perfect mix of bubbly and not-so-bubbly in the stressful times, and that’s exactly the type personality I’d be into for my GBBO Squad.

Season 3/Series 6

Sandy


You know when you’re just minding your business at work and then your peer makes a snarky comment under their breath, and you’re like, “Wait. That’s really funny,” and then you become pals because you both have the same sense of humor? That’s Sandy. Throughout her time on GBBO, she’d have these one-liners that killed me, and had me thinking about them for days later. She once made a David Attenborough joke that only Brits and rando Americans would get, and I couldn’t stop laughing. Case in point: the GIF above in which Sandy describes how her creme brulee should NOT wobble. Rather, it should only have a little wobble, like so:

Tamal & Nadiya
http://isolatedhysteria.tumblr.com/post/131030176536

Alright I’m lumping these two star bakers together, because they’re what inspired me to write this post in the first place. Individually, each of these lovelies had me rooting for them from the first episode. Nadiya (as the internet is wont to tell you) had THE BEST reaction faces throughout the entire competition, and it was like she was reflecting what the viewers at home were doing too. She lacked confidence in the beginning and kept thinking she was going to get cut, but she, like Tamal, was a pretty consistently good baker from the get go. Tamal, an adorable, funny, talented doctor, was just a delight to watch throughout the series, and any time Nadiya and Tamal would get screen time together, I basically just wanted to leap through my screen and hug them both at the same time and force them to be friends with me. Is that too aggressive? Yeah, probably for the best.

And the sweet, sweet words Tamal said about Nadiya in the finale was the most precious. I LOVE WHEN PEOPLE SUPPORT THEIR FRIENDS. AND I LOVE WHEN PEOPLE GAIN SELF-CONFIDENCE. FULL CIRCLE. I LOVE NADIYA AND TAMAL!

http://televisiongif.tumblr.com/post/130740435556

Season 4/Series 7

Candice

Like Kate before her, I knew I was going to like Candice because her lipstick game was on POINT. It’s such a simple cosmetic look, but it gives her “a thing” to be remembered by with audiences watching from home. And if she doesn’t have her own lipstick line yet, that’s probably something she should get on. Another reason I liked Candice is that her accent sounded familiar to me, as if I had heard her speak before. Well, turns out, she just reminds me of Victoria Beckham because they have such a similar accent (and kind of from the same section of England). Made me like her even more.

Benjamina

Benjamina is one of those bakers who is so super talented, but due to time constraints and other factors, just isn’t always the star baker each week. But you know she’s got it. And she’s got a good attitude about the competition too, just like many of the others that have proceeded her on this list.

Selasi

Cool as a cucumber – that phrase was made about Selasi. This dude knows how to bake, knows which flavors go with what, and doesn’t freak out completely if a challenge isn’t going his way. Plus the way he talks I could listen to all day.

Ed. Note: I’m obviously watching all this in a bubble, and don’t know any of the politics or media spectacle or post-interviews any of the contestants have done since the show. All I knew was that Nadiya won and everyone loved her. That’s it. Apparently, when searching for Selasi GIFs, there was a rumored thing going on between him and Benjamina? I’m afraid to dig too deep into it, because in full disclosure, I’m not quite done with this season and don’t want to be spoiled :\

Bonus: Mel & Sue

THE NEXT SEASON OF GBBO IS NOT GOING TO BE THE SAME WITHOUT YOU TWO (OR MARY). I DON’T KNOW HOW WE SURVIVED WITHOUT YOUR PUNS AND CHEEKY INNUENDO ON TV ALL THESE YEARS IN AMERICA.

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The Great British Bake Off Is Pure In Heart

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Did you watch the premiere of a new season of The Great British Bake Off last night? If so, I’m horribly jealous … or I would be if jealousy didn’t run contrary to the spirit of The Great British Bake Off, a show that is at its core pleasant, gentle, soothing and entirely pure in heart.

Bake Off employs calming narration, a delicate pastel color scheme, a reliable format and real-life fairy godmother Mary Berry. It is basically like watching Mr. Rogers or Shining Time Station, but for adults. It cuts through the ugliness of reality competitions and resists cheap “extreme” challenges or manufactured rivalries. While we await the U.S. airing of series 7, let’s look at all the ways the Bake Off is the most pure and kind reality competition on television today:

Mary Berry Is Mary Poppins’ Granddaughter

In my head, Mary Berry was named after her beloved granny, Mary Poppins – because how else do you explain their shared delightful temperament, coupled with a firm instance on perfection (or practically-perfection)? Mary never met a sneaky innuendo she didn’t like, but she’s also excellent at playing the well-bred grandmother who doesn’t know what you’re all snickering at. Plus she’s a style icon to boot, always sporting a smart scarf or a well-tailored floral blazer or that one bomber jacket that sold out in a day. If you worry that getting older will make you dowdy or dull or stuck in the past, just look to Mary (age 81!) and rest assured that such a fate isn’t inevitable. And is it just me, or do her eyes actually twinkle sometimes?

Sue Perkins Is A British Rachel Maddow

I mean. Sue Perkins is her own person. But she has a quick and dry wit that’s very Rachel Maddow-without-the-politics. Or maybe the funniest NPR presenter? Just tell me that Sue Perkins doesn’t own a library tote. I’ll wait. She’s also always quick with a dad joke, which is objectively speaking the most pure-in-heart category of humor. Sue is a comedian, not a baker, so she’s really just around for the laughs – although she did make an earlier foray into food television with The Supersizers, a great program where modern people consume the typical diet of historical periods. It is funnier than it sounds.

Everyone Is Helpful

Remember that show Zoom? Whenever the kids were doing a craft or a race, all the other kids gathered around saying encouraging things. That’s basically how Great British Bake-Off Is. Contestants who are done with their bake lend a hand to fellow competitors, tell people they’re doing well, or just calm down the other bakers during their more ruffled moments. The judges and hosts offer practical advice instead of watching the contestants muddle their way into disaster. If you want to watch people be nice to each other for an hour, you’ve found the right show.

Anybody Can Bake!

Whether you’re a senior citizen or a school-aged kid, you could watch and enjoy GBBO. The field of competitors isn’t age-segregated either, and there have been bakers as young as 17 (sweet, pleasant Martha) and as old as 69. Obviously reality shows have to cast based on both talent and personality, but it’s so refreshing to see a show that doesn’t rely too heavily on the young and conventionally attractive (no worries: if you like conventionally attractive people, there are plenty). Contestants have ranged from posh, Aga-owning teen Flora to the more working class builder/dad Paul, proving that baking – and talent –  cut across all classes.

Given the events of this year, it’s also been great to see that a number of the top competitors haven’t been of British descent. It’s important for viewers to see bakers of all different backgrounds concoct some of the more traditionally British challenges – and make them better by drawing from their own influences. Where scripted television still has trouble writing roles for Muslim women that aren’t either boring and obedient at best or extremist at worst, through a reality show audiences got to meet Nadiya, full of personality and ambition. When even central and eastern European immigrants face discrimination and stereotyping, Bake Off presented us with Ugne, a shoe-loving female body builder. In a year of Brexit and Donald Trump, this is the kind of content I want on my television.

The Best Of Reality Competitions

While I’d rather focus on what Bake Off is instead of what it isn’t, we have to discuss what reality competitions can be at their worst. We’re talking about those cheap tactics that producers think are going to keep viewers tuned in – but which I’d argue are completely unnecessary (and I think the 10 million viewers tuning into the series 7 premiere last night would agree with me). Drawn-out personality clashes between competitors or judges have no place here. Neither do unnecessarily extreme challenges that you see on some other cooking competitions; why include that if these challenges are hard enough? Even the participants’ interviews are free of that reality tv posturing about being the best. Or is that just an American thing, maybe?

Instead, GBBO shows what reality tv competitions can be at their best. You have talented contestants trying their hardest, interesting challenges that actually teach us about history or travel (remember that Victorians episode?), and suspense generated naturally instead of artificial, hyped-up gimmicks.

GBBO Exists Outside Of Time

As if this show didn’t already remind me of a mature version of the public television shows of my childhood, it also seems to exist entirely outside of time. I mean, I never know when any series of The Great British Bake Off originally aired, thanks to the wonders of PBS’s screwy scheduling. It’s all clearly from at some point in the 2010s, but beyond that it’s anyone’s guess. Series 5 (UK) was Season 1 (US), and then Series 4 (UK) was Season 2 (US), and Series 6 (UK) was Season 3 (US). Don’t even try to remember which season aired first. It’s exactly like tuning into your local PBS affiliate c. 1993 and never knowing which cast of Ghostwriter you were going to get.

From Mary Berry to the tranquil pastel baking tents to the cheerful competitors, the Great British Bake Off is everything reality shows can be. If you get to watch a new series right now, enjoy! I’ll be here with my weirdly ordered PBS repeats in the meantime – not because I don’t want to jump ahead, but because watching with a torrent is NOT very pure-in-heart. Besides, I think Mary Berry would be disappointed in me, and we can’t have that.

 

 

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