What Your School Portrait Backdrop Said About You

Lasers

My brother looking pretty darn 90s.


If you had lasers, you were probably totally rad, in the parlance of the time. You were fashion forward and a bit of a risk taker. Or, you were really into technology, robots, and science. I don’t know why lasers were ever even introduced as a school portrait backdrop, when I think about it. They’re not really relevent to any kid’s experience. “Oh, you know Becky, she just loves shooting lasers!” That’s something no parent ever said. And they weren’t a general, neutral motif, even in the 90s. As an adult, laser portrait kids are probably style pioneers – you favor bright colors and eye catching patterns. At the workplace, you are on the cutting edge and willing to go out on a limb to get noticed. Or, you are really into technology, robots, and science.

Sky

I still remember this picture day. What I do not remember is why my mom thought scraping my bouncy childhood ringlets into a messy ponytail was an OK idea.


Your parents picked your backdrop. You grew up in a traditional household of rules and regulations, and your family stayed away from anything too flashy. Or, the other backdrops all cost extra, and your parents thought that something like unnecessary school portrait scenery was a waste of money. They may have also been very concerned about what your grandparents would think. If you chose the cloud background yourself, you were probably Alex P. Keaton from Family Ties. Today, former sky backdrop kids could go either way. You may have rebelled big time in high school and college, turning to some sort of counterculture that required outfits. I don’t care what — goth, hip hop, extreme country music fandom. It may also be that you kept your family’s values, and prefer a streamlined, tidy look. You try not to draw attention to yourself, and avoid displaying obvious status symbols. And when you have kids, you’re not going to throw your money away on stupid laser backdrops. Or whatever the equivalent of lasers is in the 2010s. One of my nephews could have chosen tie-dye, so maybe that.

Library
Some years, my school offered this weird backdrop that looked like you were in a mahogany study, with bookshelves and a roaring fire. There may have been a Christmas tree with stockings hanging. At the time, this probably meant that your parents wanted a Christmas portrait to send to relatives, but were killing two birds with one stone by making the school picture the Christmas picture. If you chose it, it’s because you wanted people to think you lived in a mahogany-paneled estate. Either way, this translates well as an adult. Either you or your parents knew how to get what you wanted without paying out the ears, be it by combining Christmas and school portrait costs or by faking wealth. Now that you’re an adult, I bet you’re great with budgeting and cost-saving measures. You mix up all of those homemade cleaning ingredients on pinterest and are awesome at refinishing secondhand furniture.

That Gray Marbled Situation

My adorable nephew, who probably would have preferred lasers. Poor guy.


It was the only option your school had. Or your parents were very serious and hated fun and frivolity. Or you, yourself, were very serious and hated fun and frivolity. You probably have a super-serious occupation now, and avoid decorating or dressing in colors. Your 401K is probably bigger than mine.

The Double-You

My cousin, with face obscured because she never asked for this.


This option had mostly been phased out by the time I was a child, but lo and behold, one of my nephews had this done in the past year or so! What happens is this: The main photo is the kid looking head-on into the camera and smiling. Then, superimposed above the kid, is the same child in profile, staring inspirationally into the abyss. These pictures are one of the creepiest things I can think of. First of all, the inspirational profile kid is just a disembodied head. Second, it is just straight-up unsettling to see two of the same person in one frame. Presuming you don’t have an identical twin, I would FREAK OUT if I saw you and your double, standing one above the other. It’s like The Shining or The Poltergeist, or any other movie I watched on TBS and freaked out about for a week. So, who chose this backdrop? I think parents who wanted to be “artistic” or kids who always wanted a twin. The parents who went with the “double-you” option thought their kids were gorgeous, smiling or not. They thought relatives and classmates were missing out if they didn’t see your profile as well as the front of your face. Whichever way you cut it, your parents thought you were a stunner and wanted the world to know it. So where are you now? You might be really stuck on yourself and think you’re just the most attractive person in every room you’re in. You make it a point to angle your head up and to the side in conversation, so that people can get the full effect of your perfect profile. Or, I guess maybe your parents just instilled a high sense of self-esteem in you, and you have that.

Neon Blinds

Other brother, also spectacularly ’90s. I now understand why my dad called me “[brother] in drag” as a child, as I looked EXACTLY like this with long hair. Also, not cool, dad. Not cool.

If you wanted the flash and glitz of lasers, but they were a little too busy, then neon blinds were for you. You were probably fairly up on your trends, with at least somewhat lenient parents. I bet you were cool in high school. What does that mean now? You keep an eye on what’s new and trendy, but that doesn’t mean you follow every fad that comes along. Now that your parents are older, they probably are planning on traveling a lot in retirement, but think more Italy and less Bolivia.

Mr. JT : A Musical Tribute

Guys, it’s finally here. We’ve waiting six long years and it’s finally here. JT’s new album comes out TODAY!!

So in honor of Justin’s epic return, I’ve compiled some of my favorite JT musical moments. Plus some bonus SNL stuff at the end. Enjoy! (And go buy his album)

Worthy Of


An unreleased track from Justified, this is arguably one of  his best of songs that didn’t quite make the cut. Well, it’s really the only one I know of, so it has to be the best one. It’s a little bit more mellow, like Take it From Here, but not as somber as Never Again. It’s still a great jam that I listened to during the 6-year-drought to quench my thirst of new JT music.

LoveStoned/I Think She Knows Interlude

Of course this song is one of the best off of FutureSex/LoveSounds, but really, the greatest part is the interlude, that most people don’t know if you’re only familiar with the radio edit. ‘I Think She Knows’ serves as a seamless transition from the electrodancepop jam that is LoveStoned, and presents a beautiful smooth vocal track from Justin with gorgeous instrumentals. I’d never heard anything like that before, so naturally, it blew my mind. Like it was a sound. From the future. Get it?

Another Song All Over Again (Live)

This is another jam off the FutureSex/LovesSounds album, and serves as the final track. I stumbled across this video shortly after his tour ended, and I was in awe. I mean don’t get me wrong, I knew he was a good singer, but this performance just has so much passion and soul – and it goes on for 8 minutes. After watching this, I also regretted not going to this tour, so luckily I’m making up for it when I see him play at Fenway this summer back in good old Boston!!!

I Love Sports – 2008 ESPY Awards

As any good Justin fan knows, he’s a big sports fan. Hell, he and Jessica are even minority owners of the Memphis Grizzlies. So when he hosted the ESPY Awards, it was only fitting. I myself, am not a huge sports fan, but I do appreciate Justin’s ability to make fun of Jessica Simpson and shout out my Boston Celtics in the same medley. Also, look out for cameos from Posh Spice, Zefron, and Kristen Bell…

3-Way (The Golden Rule) feat. Lady Gaga

We all know and love Dick in a Box, jokingly blast Motherlover on Mother’s Day, but right up there is the last of the 2:30AM trilogy (apparently, that’s the name of the creepy 80s R&B duo: 2:30AM. And JT’s name is Raif). What I’ve always loved about Lonely Island is that they make songs that are actually catchy. I will play 3-Way again and again and again and sing the lyrics at the top of my lungs. Probably not okay if you’re in your car and people can hear you scream ‘helicopter dick’, but whatevs.

History of Rap with Jimmy Fallon

One of my favorite singers with one of my favorite people in the world! They have too many great moments together to name them all, but here’s one of the best. It came out of nowhere, and the hits just kept coming. (I know, after watching that one, you’ll want to watch part 2 (the best imo, for JT’s Snoop alone), part 3, and most recently, part 4. You’re welcome.)

BONUS: SNL Cameos!
He’s cuter in person – with Amy Poehler

Again, JT with probably my favorite celebrity of all time? I die.

Immigrant’s Tale

I believe this was the first time he hosted SNL, and I could not believe how good he was. This sketch only solidified that he was and is one of the best hosts, nay entertainers of our generation. The fact that he could easily make fun of himself, and Britney, showed that he doesn’t take himself too seriously, and proved he wasn’t just a Chris Kirpatrick. He proved he’d be around for a long, long time.

Cameo During Britney Spears’ monologue

Oh the days of Britney and Justin. How young and naive we all were. He surprised the audience during her hosting gig in 2002, only to go on four years later and kick off his five-timers club record. Can we just take a moment of silence for their relationship and also a much saner Britney Spears??

TV Characters’ Bedrooms That I Covet

As a kid, your bedroom is an important place. It’s the only place that’s really YOURS – or maybe shared with one or two other people, but still. It’s a no-grownup zone, and though your parents probably made you clean it and set some parameters, you had a bit of free reign as far as decorating went. I seriously went with it – in fifth grade, when I got a new bedroom, I went antiquing to pick out the right accessories, and pored over catalogs for months until I found the right bedspread. Even now that I’m older, I love seeing character’s home spaces on tv. Like a child’s room, the way these people decorate their bedrooms – the place in their house that outsiders wouldn’t usually see – tells you a lot about their character. Plus, the set designers just make them look really, really cool. Until I was preparing this post, I didn’t realize that set decorator would probably be my dream job. Here are some of my favorites.

Clarissa Darling Obviously, right? Clarissa’s bedroom had everything! Her own computer game system. An amphibian named Elvis. Multicolored, hand-painted furniture. Mismatched quilts. A hat collection. Partially painted-over wallpaper. Hubcaps. License plates. SAM.

Carrie Bradshaw

I know Carrie’s apartment is pretty unobtainable, but I love how her bedroom wasn’t TOO perfect. It was cozy, with bookshelves and a big comfy duvet. Even her radiator was cute. I remember reading an interview with the set decorator back when Sex and the City was still on, and she said that Carrie’s apartment was done in the shades of a bruise, since she was a little brokenhearted when she moved in. While that sounds grody, it’s actually a really pretty color scheme – soft gray, light green, and shades of blue and violet.

Jess Day

While the word “adorkable” could go away forever, this bedroom kind of IS adorably dorky. I love the bright teal wall contrasted with the brick, the clustered prints over the bed, and the fun printed bedspread. I could actually see Jess picking out all of these items. While Jess has some ditzy moments, she’s a teacher so we know she isn’t dumb. I’m happy to see some books in here to remind us of that.

Literally All of the Main Teens in Pretty Little Liars

I like how dark Aria’s room is, actually. Plus the gumwood gives it a craftsman vibe, and all I really want right now is to own a pre-1940s bungalow. My dream Arts and Crafts house is on the market now, about 10K too high and 4 months to early for me to buy it, so this is all a little fresh for me. Anyway.  The window seat is to die for. I’m usually not too into bedroom wallpaper, but this is so soft and pretty with the light furniture and white  french doors. I wish I could find a picture of the whole bedroom, because while the decor is pretty dainty, Spencer has a hardcore desk/bulletin board situation. So Type A! I know at some point we’ll all be over gray as a neutral (we got there with taupe, after all), but Hanna’s bedroom is just so nice. I’m less jealous of the bedroom and more of the adjoining bathroom with a clawfoot tub. I’ve always sort of wanted a white iron bed, so of course I love Emily’s bedroom. Plus an alcove AND a window seat!?! Between that and the cheerful, but not to bright, yellow and green color scheme, this is a winner.

Cora, Countess of Grantham

This image is from http://chameleon-interiors.blogspot.com/2012/02/downton-abbey-putting-downton-to-bed.html, which has a great analysis of Downton Abbey bedrooms, if you’re so inclined.

Really, I love all of the bedrooms in Downton, but I especially like how, despite the heavy furniture and being in a stone castle, this feels breezy and airy. I love the fireplace, too – so cozy! I expect that this bedroom comes fully equipped with a lady whose job it is to brush and braid my hair before I go to sleep. It goes without saying that I picked Cora’s bedroom over Mary’s because a Turkish houseguest didn’t pass away in the bed.

Based on the above list, I think I have some criteria for a perfect bedroom. Sloped ceilings or an alcove, mixed prints, giant plush bedding, books, and some kind of windowseat or built-ins. When I was a kid, I loved kids’ rooms with multiple sets of bunkbeds or rows of beds. Like Madeline, except that I don’t want to live with a dozen French orphan children. Basically, if I end up in a tiny house with a ton of kids, I’ll be all set, decorating-wise. Otherwise, I’m screwed.

Show You Should Be Watching If You Aren’t Already: Pretty Little Liars

Before you judge, just know that this may be on ABC Family, but it rivals the likes of any teen suspense/drama (think Gossip Girl circa season one). Every episode keeps you guessing – to an almost upsetting insane person faux detective-like manner.

In a nutshell, PLL (as it’s known affectionately by its viewers) centers around four teenage girls, Aria, Hanna, Spencer, and Emily, in Rosewood, Pennsylvania. In the pilot episode, we discover that their BFF, and leader of their clique, Alison, mysteriously disappeared the year before. Their group started to fall apart after her disappearance, but they soon begin receiving cryptic, and usually threatening, messages from an anonymous source using the name ‘A’.

The girls begin to think it’s Ali, until police find her body and proclaim her dead. Which obvi means that someone else is targeting them. The weird thing is that A knows the PLLs secrets, including the ones they thought only Ali knew. They find out that Ali was in fact stalked by A too, so the girls set out to find out more about Ali’s death and who A is, but they risk their lives and the lives of their loved ones, in the process.

Now that you have the basic plot of the show, here are the main reasons why you should watch. Season three ends on Tuesday, March 19th, but comes back on June 20th, so you have plenty of time to catch up on Netflix instant before the fourth season begins!!

Conspiracy Theories

me, being a creeper during the season 3 summer finale party

Unlike any show I can think of, every episode of PLL leaves you with questions. You want to know why so and so said that misleading comment, or why this person is talking to this person, and most importantly, you want to know who A is. In saying this, sometimes, shows are just better when you watch it with friends. For about the past year, a group of friends and I meet to watch PLL, and talk about our thoughts and theories about the show. There are so many clues and plot lines that it’s just easier to try to solve the mystery if you have multiple minds working together. And we’re not the only ones who watch together and come up with theories – just ask the internet. Plus we’ve taken to picking out characters for ourselves and playing a fantasy PLL game, which makes it even more fun to watch!

Fashion

i wanted that tribal sweater, but it legit sold out!!

All the PLLs have their own distinct style, which makes you wonder where these girls get the money to pay for such nice outfits. But on every episode, I am frantically searching the webz to find out if there is an affordable version of what the girls are wearing. My favorite sites to find the fashion seen on PLL (and TV in general) are Possessionista and Worn on TV.

Unexpected comedic moments

I’d say 80% of this show is suspenseful and dramatic, 15% is romantic, and 5% hilarious. I was never good at percentages, so don’t quote me on that. But once in a while, one of the four main girls will say something ridiculous that comes out of nowhere and it’s great. Here’s one of my favorite moments, that might not be funny if you don’t know what they’re talking about, but in context it was hilar. They’re talking about this girl who they’ve suspected to be working with A, and she’s been blind since the beginning of the series. Until she magically got her eyesight back…

The Men of PLL

As much as the show focuses on the PLLs themselves, it’s also about the men in their lives who have a huge impact on them. I mean from a British doctor to shirtless Toby to Paolo from Lizzie McGuire. And Mr. Fitz. Ohhh Mr. Fitz (I’m the Aria in our group, can you tell?)

Shows You Should Be Watching If You Aren’t Already: The New Normal

I was mighty incredulous about The New Normal. It seemed too much like it was riding the coattails of Modern Family – like network TV had just realized that people had weird family arrangements or, you know, that gay people actually had families, and they were really gunning for it. I definitely gave this a bit of a side-eye when NBC gave it a promo spot during the Olympics. I felt like if they had to try that hard, it wasn’t going to be very good. I also felt like this was the two weeks every four YEARS that I watch sports, so they should just show me the goddamn swimmers already.  Happy to say, I was mistaken – it is actually worth watching. Here’s why:

Bebe Wood as Shania
I know child actors are frequently the worst part of the show, but Bebe is oddly hilarious. The reason this quirky kid character is so funny is that the writers actually abide by the “show, don’t tell” rule. Instead of having the adults comment on how “offbeat” the kid is, they have her doing these amazing impressions of Little Edie Beale and the Dowager Countess. Her glasses aren’t prescription. She writes Charlie Rose fan-fiction. And best of all, while Shania isn’t a perfect kid, she doesn’t fall into the bratty sitcom child trap. Thank goodness.

The Rocky-Jane Adversarial Friendship

I like to imagine that they’re IRL besties, too.


Things got off to a rough start between TV producer Rocky (NeNe Leakes) and uber conservative/former Ohioan/World’s Youngest Great-Grandmother Jane (Ellen Barkin). See, e.g.: “The last time I checked this diamond speckled watch my gay boss bought me, without his consent, it was 2012. Now, why don’t you take your Callista Gingrich hairdo and your racist mind back to the past, or the south, where they belong?” Of course, the producers didn’t leave us hanging too long, and by the second half of the season we got to see these two (sort of) join forces, largely because of a shared dislike of the same things and people.

The Adorable Goldie/Bryan/David Friendship
Goldie (Georgia King, who is Scottish?!) is a gestational surrogate with a heart of gold. She is also younger than me, I just realized, which is BANANAS, but probably doesn’t matter to you. She’s a former teen mom who is acting as a surrogate to raise enough money to go to law school. And to think all I did was take out a few LSAT books from my college library. She, Bryan (Andrew Rannells), and David (Justin Bartha) become one of my favorite friend-families on T.V. right now. You get the feeling that even if she didn’t need the money, she’d still help the guys start their family, and that even if she wasn’t carrying their baby, Bryan and David would still do what they could to help her start her career and take care of Shania. I can’t wait to see how this family develops after the baby is born.

The Wacky but not too wacky plot lines
With its fairly involved premise, this show doesn’t really need to go to extreme on the plot lines. Almost everything is plausible, and some lean toward the classic sitcom setups — but if you want a mindless half-hour of tv that doesn’t change the face of sitcom television, this is it. A few favorites: the group goes gadget-free, causing Shania to get a little too into Pilgrim character; Tofurkey causes Thanksgiving dissent; a babyproofer apparently hates fun and Christmas.

Facebook Rules 101

Since I joined Facebook in 2004, the site has become a defining entity in worldwide culture. But when I first started, it was an entirely different site. First of all, your college had to be one of the select few on the network. You could only sign up with your college e-mail address, and you also went on a friending spree, requesting to be friends with every single person in your classes. Since then, Mark Zuckerberg has invited the entire world to join and made multiple changes to the site itself.

Now that I’m approaching my 9th (HOLY MOTHER OF GOD, 9TH?!) anniversary on FB, I feel like I have enough experience to be able to set some ground rules for all users of the social media site.

Don’t complain about new layouts. 

This has annoyed me over the past year or so in particular, because people’s complaints about new FB layouts bug the shit out of me. First of all, complainers take the time to WRITE ON FACEBOOK that they hate Facebook. HELLO? Secondly, technology is constantly changing – that’s kind of the point. So don’t get all in a huff because the your photos aren’t where they used to be. First world problems. Like everything, you’ll get used to it and then forget that it was even a problem in the first place. If you don’t like it, quit FB. But we all know 90% of people are like those folks who say they’re moving to Canada if so and so is elected president. How many people do you know actually moved to Canada after 2004?

The most recent profile change was rolled out by FB technicians for a few months, and even let you preview it before they completely changed it over. And you probably don’t even remember what the late 2012 profile looked like.

And guess what, people? Get ready for another change – the news feed is going to feature bigger photos. So don’t get your panties in a twist when the redesign rolls out.

Don’t post your relationship status on Facebook

Let me clarify: Don’t consistently write about how much your love your boyfriend and post unfocused pix of your romantic date night dinner at Olive Garden. I’m saying, if you’re in a relationship and then you break up, you’re just welcoming people to ask you about it. Unless you want to draw attention to yourself. But that’s obnoxious, and I should be questioning why we’re even friends in the first place. I’ve seen people even add “end of relationship” as a life event on their timeline, so like, that’s awkward.

Don’t treat Facebook like Twitter.

I don’t care if you’re hungry, I don’t care about what time you’re working, I don’t care about what time you’re getting out of work, I don’t care how tired you are. Also, don’t put that shit on twitter either. nobody needs to know that.

Don’t send game requests

I think this is pretty self-explanatory. I don’t use FB because there’s a lack of internet farming in my life. So just, don’t ask me to visit your Farmville.

Don’t post an entire album of your baby’s sonogram

Listen, I like babies. I just don’t think people of FB should be subjected to seeing 50 photo album of the unborn baby in your uterus come up on the news feed. I just don’t. Baby photos are fine. Especially if I want to stalk you and judge whether your baby is cute or not.

Don’t complain about privacy settings and then post stuff of Facebook

In case you didn’t know, there are privacy settings that you can change yourself. Like, you don’t HAVE to let everyone you’re friends with see your latest FB album that may have semi-incriminating pictures in them. You can restrict people from viewing certain things, and all you have to do is stop bitching and go to your privacy settings and change it. Also, another tip is that if you don’t want certain people seeing things you post on Facebook, how about just… not posting it on Facebook?

Movies to Watch on a Rainy Day

There’s been a streak of rainy days here in Los Angeles, in fact there’s even been HAIL, so naturally everyone is freaking out. On weekends when it’s much easier to stay in than deal with the crazy people on the roads, here are a few of my favorite flicks to view and drink a steaming hot cup of ho cho with!

Garden State

Garden State was one of those movies circa 2004 that everyone loved. Or at least everyone at my college loved. It was insightful, funny, relatable, and had a killer soundtrack. It also marked the first time I think anyone took Zach Braff seriously outside of being JD on Scrubs. Plus, Natalie Portman pre-Black Swan proves she’s always been talent to reckon with.

Andrew Largeman: You know that point in your life when you realize the house you grew up in isn’t really your home anymore? All of a sudden even though you have some place where you put your shit, that idea of home is gone.

Sam: I still feel at home in my house.

Andrew Largeman: You’ll see one day when you move out it just sort of happens one day and it’s gone. You feel like you can never get it back. It’s like you feel homesick for a place that doesn’t even exist. Maybe it’s like this rite of passage, you know. You won’t ever have this feeling again until you create a new idea of home for yourself, you know, for your kids, for the family you start, it’s like a cycle or something. I don’t know, but I miss the idea of it, you know. Maybe that’s all family really is. A group of people that miss the same imaginary place.

Blue Valentine

Contrary to the word ‘valentine’ in its title, this is not a love story. There is a story about two people who fall in love, but ::spoiler alert:: there’s no happy ending. And sometimes that’s what you want from a movie. Ryan Gosling and Michelle Williams have that kind of chemistry that makes you think you shouldn’t be in their “robot vagina looking” hotel room. Also, it has the best song – You and Me by Penny and the Quarters.

Away We Go

When I first heard John Krasinski and Maya Rudolph were going to be a movie together I freaked my bean. But the end product was so much more than I could have ever imagined. They play a couple expecting their first child and basically travel all over the place to find one spot to call home. With the right mix of humor and heartbreaking drama, it’s perfect to match your rainy day blues. And with a supporting cast that includes Allison Janney, Jeff Daniels, Catherine O’Hara, Chris Messina, Maggie Gyllenhaal, etc. there is not a single scene that misses a beat. (check out this soundtrack too!)

Verona: Burt, are we fuck-ups?
Burt: No! What do you mean?
Verona: I mean, we’re 34…
Burt: I’m 33.
Verona: …and we don’t even have this basic stuff figured out.
Burt: Basic, like how?
Verona: Basic, like how to live.
Burt: We’re not fuck-ups.
Verona : We have a cardboard window.
Burt: We’re not fuck-ups.
Verona : I think we might be fuck-ups.
Burt Farlander: We’re not fuck-ups.

Melancholia

Listen guys, I’m not gonna lie to you: this movie is a downer. Like a real bummer. So what better time to watch a movie that will make you depressed than on a rainy day?

Justine: Life is only on Earth. And not for long.

Amelie

One of  my favorite quotes of all time is from this fantastical French romcom: “We pass the time of day to forget how time passes.” Not only is that a great depiction of the movie itself, but for life in general. And if you’ve never been to Paris or have been and want to relive it, this movie will make you feel like you’re running the rues de la paris just like Amelie. Also, soundtrack:

Harry Potter

I don’t think you can really go wrong by choosing a HP movie, but my favorite, next to the HP&TDHP2 is the Prisoner of Azkaban. As opposed to some of the movies on this list, I feel like Harry and his adventures at Hogwarts make me feel happy and warm inside, which is a stark contrast to the weather outside.


ok i found this random fan video, and although it’s more snowy and christmasy, it’s fantastic!

People Like Us: valerie frizzle: woman, teacher, icon

Welcome to the inaugural post for our People Like Us series. It’s a way for us to introduce and share with y’all our super talented friends and their super awesome writing. Basically, we’re pimping out our peeps. Deal.

Kicking the series off is a post from my dear friend Brian. Although we went to the same college, we bonded while working together for a theater in Boston. I’ve watched him start off as a mere concessions worker, then as a box office associate, onto making it like a bo$$ as the Box Office & Front of House Manager, and finally he’s moved away from the annoying patrons and into the back office where the important people sit as a Marketing and Development Associate. What I’m trying to say is that I taught him everything he knows. 

me and b bein fancy

However, I cannot take credit for his excellent storytelling skills (his degree from Emerson, natural talent, and mom Bonnie is to thank). Enjoy this entertaining and frightening true explanation of why Ms. Frizzle is his life inspiration.

And if you like what you read, follow his WordPress blog here: A Mighty Fine Life. If you like Tumblin’, follow him here: Tumblr. If you enjoy children & young adult lit reviews (especially animorphs re-reads including graphics made on MS Paint), follow him here: The View From Sunday.

~~~~~

I have been doing a fair amount of thinking lately about the people I’ve looked up to in my day – people I’ve considered exemplars in their field, people I want to emulate, people who’s work has had a lasting, life-long impact on me. And the answer to that question has always surprised me, has always evaded me, because as I’ve said, I’ve never really known what I wanted to be when I grew up. When I was a kid, I hopped around from answer to answer – writer, scientist, hairdresser, teacher. And none of them stuck. I loved books and movies, I loved playing, and I loved people; that’s all I really knew about myself, and I wasn’t sure if a career as a professional storyteller and player, who maybe sometimes taught people things, was possible.

But you know who managed to accomplish all that and more?

Valerie. Mother-effing. Frizzle.

Ms. Frizzle, Perfect Person

That’s right. And you know it in your heart of hearts that I am right because this woman was the teacher – nay, the human being – we all dreamed of having in our lives. This woman is the be-all end-all of scientific learning of our generation, is admired by all the people everywhere, is the greatest teacher known to mankind, and I will punch you right in the nose if you say otherwise.

“Brian, you’re a little out of control here. What’s so great about her?”

Well first of all, don’t talk to me in that tone of voice. Who do you think you are? Are you better than Ms. Frizzle? No.

Second of all,  here are my top six reasons Ms. Frizzle is a badass and a teacher I want to be when I grow up.

1) Ms. Frizzle Owns A Magic Vehicle

Hello?! This much should be obvious. Does your car turn into a plane and a train and a submarine and a time machine and a rocketship and a ladybug and a triceratops and a planet and also shrink and also have the ability to turn you into a fish or frog or a BEAM OF LIGHT?????? IS YOUR CAR ALIVE AND DOES IT HAVE EYES????? No. No, I did not think so.

The eponymous Magic School Bus enabled Val to take her kids to infinity and beyond. It was an invaluable teaching tool, and a resource that any teacher would kill for. Sure, not everyone has the funding for this, but let’s take the bus as a metaphor for creativity in education. It’s like the old writing adage: show, not tell. The bus was simply The Friz’s way of bringing that kind of creative, hands-on learning to her classroom. Non-cartoon educators need to go about it a different way, but it is still a principle that we ought to listen to, right?

YOU LITERALLY CAN’T DO THIS

OK, also it helped that the bus was sentient and had its own thoughts and opinions. Which, okay, you could argue that taking a bunch of kids for a ride inside something alive every single day is sort of messed up. But the bus and the Friz also seemed to be buddies – this was no servant/master relationship; Ms. Frizzle cared when the bus was sick/needed repairs, and referred to it as an old friend. You have to wonder if she was the one who built it. This would likely mean that she is either a master mechanic – which I’d argue against, since in the episode about bones and muscles they took the bus in for a repair with R.U Humerus – or some kind of wizard. You be the judge.

2) Ms. Frizzle Let Her Students Learn By Doing

The kind of dynamic, experience-based learning her class did on a day-to-day basis is simply staggering. She allowed them to explore who they are as people, and brought them up close and personal to the things they were studying. Ms. Frizzle understood that the words on the page were not enough. And yet, she had clear objectives in mind for every lesson: “students will understand the basic types of bridges and how they work;” “students will have a clear understanding of the scientific method;” etc etc.

Her lessons weren’t a fly by night operation – they were well planned out and demonstrated a lot of thinking on the Friz’s part. In fact, you could argue that she worked backwards from her goal until she found the right kind of lesson. Often, the lesson would present itself in an organic way: Ralphie is sick, let’s figure out why. Or, Dorothy Ann became petrified of asteroids, presumably after watching Armageddon and crying about Bruce Willis (she just seems like the type, y’know?) – and Ms. Frizzle would jump in from there and guide the students in the most hands-off way possible. She had the tools and the kids had the experience. She dropped them into the thick of things and let them fend for themselves, be they playing a frictionless baseball game or turning into animals and trying to live on the streets of a city.

Sure, Ms. Frizzle’s methods were peculiar but they allowed for students to – as the Friz might say – get messy. It’s sort of implicit that they are never in any real danger: she never panics, not once, and it is demonstrated time and time again that she has her students best interests at heart. She taught real science – without any pretense or ulterior motive. It was all about the learning and all about using that learning to make her students be better, more observant people. She let them take chances, and that really paid off.

3) Ms. Frizzle Was Light Years Ahead Of Her Time, Fashion-Wise

Ms. Frizzle, 1995

Nicki Minaj, 2010

4) Ms. Frizzle Didn’t Do Any Kind Of Handholding

On the contrary! “Make Mistakes” was part of her catchphrase! Making mistakes means you’re working hard, and working hard means eventually you’ll achieve something. It’s not about being perfect, just about taking chances and allowing yourself to not succeed sometimes. Once you forget about being self-conscious, that’s when the real work is able to begin. Ms. Frizzle understands that – often, one of her students will be comically mistaken about something, and rather than saying, “Carlos you are a moron, that sound machine sounds awful and defies the basic principles of sound design,” she let him try and try until he got it right.

I mean, the fact that she took him to a magical sound mansion didn’t hurt. But that’s exactly the thing: it wasn’t, “Carlos, you’re wrong.” That would defeat his spirit and probably scar him for life. Instead, she presented him with the tools he’d need, provided a structure for using those tools – remember when she yodeled? – and answered his questions when he had them.

That, too, was what was so great about the Friz. She posed questions to her students right back at them, even if sometimes they didn’t realize they were being asked. Like that time she stranded herself on Pluto and left it to the kids to operate the bus and find her – through learning about the rest of the planets, that is. Mind you, this is back when Pluto was a planet so this was sort of a big deal.

5) Ms. Frizzle Was Popular With The Kids

Okay, this is superficial, but who doesn’t want to be the teacher everyone wants to have? It warms your teacher heart to hear an older kid nod knowingly and say, “I had the Friz’s class last year.” Also, they baked her a birthday cake! How much love does that show? Baking someone a cake is something you only do for someone you love. Have you ever baked a cake for your worst enemy? No. (Once, my friend Joa had someone bake her a cake out of love only she didn’t like him at all so it was an unrequited love cake, but still there was love in the batter!) The kids also bought Ms. Frizzle a cocoa tree one time – I think for Earth Day? WHO BUYS THEIR TEACHER AN EARTH DAY PRESENT?? A group of kids who really freakin liked their teacher, that’s who.

She was a well-liked and well-respected person in the school community and in the outside world – she had friends in the strangest of places.

Also, she was voiced by Lily Tomlin and her cousin was Dolly Parton. So that’s popularity points right thurr.

6) Ms. Frizzle Loved All Her Students Equally, Even The Terrible Ones

Janet was an awful human being. WHY YOU GOTTA BE LIKE THAT JANET???? AT MY OLD SCHOOL PEOPLE WEREN’T SO FRIGGIN CATTY.

She was so respectful of each and every one of her kids and allowed them to learn at their own pace, in their own way. Some teachers would have looked at Arnold and said, “You know what? MAYBE YOU SHOULD JUST STAY HOME TOMORROW IF YOU’RE GOING TO COMPLAIN ABOUT LEARNING EVERY SINGLE FREAKING DAY. WHAT DO YOU THINK YOU ARE IN SCHOOL FOR, YOU SNOTTY GINGER.” Some teachers would have taken in Cousin Janet’s terrible ‘tude and promptly jettisoned her into space for being such an uptight crotchety little malcontent who nothing was ever good enough for.

Not the Friz.

Instead, she coaxed everyone out of their shells in a way that was fair and kind. She recognized that some kids were persnickety and dealt with that – sometimes by throwing them in a swamp, but there was learning to be had. And they soresponded to that. They may have complained every once in awhile, but they took that respect and faith that she had in them and ran with it, and became better students for it.

So there it is, folks. Fictional she may be, but Ms. Frizzle represents everything I want to bring to my career (?!?) as an educator, whatever trajectory that career might take. Because at the end of the day, the Friz taught us that teaching is more than books: it’s creativity and passion and laughter and caring about what you do and who you’re doing it for and thinking so far outside the box that the box becomes  a non-entity. I can’t wait to try it out for myself.

Seatbelts, everyone.

Killer Karaoke: My Go To Songs

I’m Asian, so therefore karaoke is in my blood. True story: one time during a family reunion in the Philippines, one of the activities was a karaoke contest, and I sang Reflection from Mulan (ohmygod i’m such a stereotype) and made the ‘finals’, but was beat out by my uncle, who I’m only assuming was drunk at the time.

I know karaoke isn’t for everyone, but I love it. If I’m comfortable (read: drunk) enough, I’ll do it, but otherwise it’s just so entertaining watching good and/or bad people doing it. Here’s a list of my go to songs that I know I won’t embarrass myself with.

Forgot About Dre – Dr. Dre feat. Eminem

This is the only song I know I can MURDER when I get up on stage. Seriously. I can do either part, and I don’t even play. Just ask the people who were at the North Hollywood Big Wang’s on New Year’s Eve 2009.

Doo Wop (That Thing) – Lauryn Hill

This is a great, great song, and I think a perfect karaoke option, since it mixes rapping and singing.

Let Me Blow Ya Mind – Eve feat. Gwen Stefani

Do you see a pattern here? I enjoy rapping. Whether at a karaoke bar or not. Also, I have a special place in my heart for 90s music and anything that was on TRL in its heyday.

Alone – Heart

This song isn’t for amateurs. Ok, maybe it is, seeing as how I’m an amateur and I’m basing my skill off of singing this jam on American Idol Karaoke. If an animated Simon Cowell loves my performance, then it’s good enough for me.

Don’t Got Breaking My Heart – Elton John and Kiki Dee

Obviously, this is a great song for two pals or like lovebirds on a 90s sitcom like Cory and Topanga.

American Girl Outfits I’d Wear Today: Kirsten and Addy

Last time around, we brought you (potentially) wearable outfits from American Girl characters Felicity and Josefina. Now that you’re – hopefully – done seething about unfair taxes on tea, we’re bringing you two more. Use this as a shopping guide if, like Angela from The Office, “sometimes the clothes at the GapKids are just too flashy. So, I am forced to go to American Girl store and order clothes for large colonial dolls.”

Kirsten Larson


On Christmas day in first grade, I opened a small box from Santa. There was a note to look under my bed – and there, in a maroon Pleasant Company box, was Kirsten Larson. If you got a Kirsten doll, it may have been because you were blonde, or of Swedish descent, or from the Midwest. For me, it was because Kirsten and I were both fairly outdoorsy. Granted, for Larson it was more of a default situation, since she lived in the Minnesota wilderness. As such, Kirsten’s outfits are casual and practical, but there was a budding fashionista under her pragmatic Scandinavian exterior.

My fourthhand claim to fame is that this character was named for my friend’s aunt (?) or something. If you’ve ever wondered about the historical accuracy of American Girl main character names — well, first of all, we should be besties forever, and second of all, they’re almost all statistically quite unlikely for the place and time the books were set. I’m terribly sorry to tell you that the name Kirsten is Danish/Norwegian, and wasn’t really used in Sweden in the 1840s when our girl K. would have been born.

Kirsten’s Summer Outfit
These faded blue pinstripes are soft, crisp summer perfection. And those red booties! What is Kirsten, some sort of Swedish-Minnesotan fashion genius? The red is echoed in the fresh berries on her hat, because Kirsten Larson is brilliant and I’m still really sorry that she lost her friend Marta to cholera (…spoiler?).

In third grade or so, I was sorting through a trash bag of hand-me-downs from my cousin (did everyone get those or was I just poor? They were the BEST). I pulled out a pale blue striped number, and could not believe it. It was Kirsten’s summer dress! On closer examination, it was no dress at all – it was culottes. This was probably the first of many times that I was disappointed to find that what looked like a skirt or dress was actually culottes or a skort. It’s like taking a sip from what you think is Sprite and finding out that it’s water. And it’s a life lesson that I think all of us have learned. [This was also my first time thinking that I could alter a clothing item, and failing miserably.]

Kirsten’s Winter Outfit and Scandinavian Woolens

If this were a catalog for adult humans, she’d wear that outfit on a dock with an adorable Yellow Lab. Her gentleman friend would have a coordinating sweater set. And I’d hate them.

Damn, Larson. Look at you. Cozy and adorable. When I wonder if it’s too cold to wear a skirt, I just remind myself that Kirsten did it, and Minnesota is probably colder than upstate New York. For real, a full wool skirt is a great addition to your winter wardrobe, and the ribbon detail is just bonus.

Addy Walker

Addy was a truly groundbreaking American Girl character. No, I don’t mean because she was the first African-American girl featured – although that was a big deal. I mean, she had pierced ears. This was HUGE. I think if I’d had one more American Girl doll, it would have been Addy. In an age when everyone had Samantha, Addy owners were real originals.

Addy’s School Dress
Look at what a professional Addy is! Little kids in suits kill me, probably because – according to photographic evidence – I wore a little pink skirt suit for Easter when I was 7. I wouldn’t wear this whole thing head to toe, but the cropped blue jacket with skinny jeans? Absolutely.

Addy’s summer dress
Cute floral, adorable peter pan collar, waist detailing – what more could you want in a summer dress? Maybe leave off the visible pantaloons if you are an adult in the 21st century.

Hope you enjoyed our stroll down sartorial memory lane! Check back for our final installment – Samantha and Molly.