Netflix synopsis: Diane gets mad at the guys when they take Fraiser on a “snipe hunt”. But she also doesn’t want Fraiser to know they played a trick on him.
Previously, on Cheers
Guys. Things have happened. In our last Cheers Chats, Sam & Diane seemed like there were on the verge of breaking up, but it was unclear whether they actually did. By the end of season 2, they have a literal slap flight, and they break up for good. In the beginning of season 3, we find out the split has made recovering alcoholic Sam revert back to drinking and Diane has been gone for a while at some retreat in the wilderness, where she meets Dr. Fraiser Crane – her now-boyfriend (no idea they dated). Sam eventually stops drinking, convinces Diane to come back to Cheers and the three of them have to act cordially. Meanwhile, Coach fell in love with a random woman, proposed to her, she wins the lottery, she dumps him. All in one ep. Cliff, Carla and Norm are all still there.
So What Had Happened Was…
(Basic recap of the episode’s main plot)
T: Norm, Sam, Cliff and a bunch of the regular barflies are heading out on a fishing trip and it seems as if they all hadn’t planned it more than 3 hours in advance. Frasier goes with them, specifically on a “snipe hunt” What’s a “snipe hunt”, you say?”
“It’s an age-old custom wherein we take an uninitiated hunter like Dr. Crane, put him in a clearing with a gunnysack* and we beat out the snipe to him.”
T: What’s a “gunnysnack”
M: Gunnysacks = a brand of 70s dresses like in the Virgin Suicides at prom, is what I thought.
OK, it’s “gunne sax” per google.
T: Gunnysack sounds like the tiny leather tie-up satchel folks used to use to keep their sixpence. Anyways, The guys basically abandoned Frasier in the woods as a sort of hazing.
T: After Diane uses a lot of big words to scold the guys for leaving Fraiser in the woods, Sam (who obviously still cares for Diane) agrees to go find him after she pleads that he is not going to be happy about being left in the woods alone. By people he’s not even really friends with.
T: As soon as Sam agrees to go find him, Fraiser bursts through the door looking extremely disheveled and furious. But he’s just fake angry that they introduced him to that “positively intoxicating sport” and does some sort of psychotic bird call which doesn’t make sense because they went fishing, not bird watching.
T: The guys are going back out fishing and Sam tells diane they plan to ditch him again wtf is wrong with men
M: I really can’t overstate how many times during this episode Traci and I both commented “men are the worst” or “WTF men.” It’s like the theme of the episode.
Carla’s My Boo
T: Carla is preggo again by some dude who willingly agreed not to be a part of the kid’s life but eager to pay whatever she wants to help raise the baby. This is Carla’s sixth kid.
“You have to be a certain kind of guy”
Carla: “Yeah a kind of dink”
Shut Up, Diane
(We just have a feeling we’re going to be saying Shut Up, Diane at our screens KIND OF A LOT.)
Diane: You’re obviously bored with lip diddling.
Compared to the dumbass guys in this episode, Diane seems like a freaking angel.
Little Ditty About Sam & Diane
At one point, Diane tells Sam that Frasier refers to him as one of his dearest friends, which is still a weird dynamic because of the Diane of it all.
Diane also asks Sam to “take care of her fella” on the trip because he’s “a tenderfoot” and is this a slang term popular in 1983? Or 1938?
Fancy Frasier
(Because Frasier Crane is a doctor and uses big words like he’s fancy)
M: Has Frasier been outdoors before? Literally would not surprise me if he hadn’t.
Actually, I could really see Frasier as one of those fancy fox hunters who has special dogs and horses.
Some Frasier shit right there.
LLOL
(Literal Laugh Loud Loud moments from the episode)
None. This was not a quality ep.
Say It Again, Sam
(Memorable lines from the episode. Not exclusively from Sam Malone.)
Frasier: “This time of the year is murder for the psychiatric profession.” … Why tho?
Carla: How come you’re not going?
Coach: I don’t like to smell them.
Carla: Yeah, fish stink.
Coach: No, the guys.
Frasier: “It’s what guys do darling. We screw each other to the wall.” Frasier tells Diane he fully knows it was all a prank, continues to prove men are the worst.
Cheers Queries
T: In the cold open, a guy starts singing song (songs?) i’ve never heard of in my life and it starts a chain reaction with Carla, Diane and other barflies pick up – someone leaves and the person comes in starts singing and ends with coach – but it’s really a sign of the times that I know none of these tunes. Except *I’ve got spurs that jingle jangle*. Seriously what is this.
M: TRACI IT WAS SUNNY SIDE OF THE STREET JESUS. Jazz standard, lady. (It’s not really an “everyone sing it at the bar song,” Traci’s right. Also I don’t know the spurs that jingle jangle tune, so really both of us need to get the heck with it.)
T: Coach comes in smoking a cigar that smells like “boiling tar” according to Sam. Why in the world is Coach just starting to smoke a cigar now. WHILE he’s working? For the record, cigars are one of my most hated smells in the world.
M: Agreed. I smoked a cigar with friends once or twice – WHY?! Because I used to be fun in college impressionable – and it was like… imagine grabbing a cigar, taking a big bite, and chewing it. Then turn that chewed cigar glob into vapor somehow and put it in your lungs.
T: The guys are bringing a TV with them for their *day-long* fishing trip, and Norm even brings his portable VCR player with “Porky’s II and Splash”. ok.
T: ALSO if it’s a day-long fishing trip, they’re gathering at the bar in the morning, I’m assuming – why are there so many people at Cheers during the waking hours??
M: And like, do they fish a lot? Because they have those dedicated khaki vests with the big pockets, which I feel like you only would own if you were really into fishing. But that doesn’t feel like a Boston barfly activity?
Barfly Fashion
Sam and Norm’s fishing outfits
Sam looks good in hunter green.
Sam’s mom jeans
😦
Frasier.
Frasier looks like a dirty Land’s End catalog page
Final Thoughts
T: I did NOT enjoy this ep.
M: If I had only seen this ep, I would hate Cheers. Not so confident in AV Club’s episode list, to be honest.
On a scale from one to “the other 51,” how energized are you for Sunday’s Tony Awards? We couldn’t be happier for Hamilton’s well-deserved 16 Tony nominations, and of course all of us have been rooting for Lin and Leslie, Phillipa, Daveed and Christopher and Renee. Nobody would argue that Hamilton isn’t #blessed with an incredible cast – but the musical’s success owes just as much to the behind-the-scenes team. Here are a few bios of LMM’s right-hand men:
Best Orchestrations – Alex Lacamoire
Alex Lacamoire is part of Lin-Manuel’s cabinet of geniuses, and incidentally all of them (+ Andy Blankenbuhler and Tommy Kail) happen to be nominated for Tonys this year. Alex has worked with Lin since In the Heights, the show for which he won his first Tony in the same category. Alex collaborated with Lin again for Bring It On the Musical, also serving as a co-orchestrator with Tom Kitt (Next to Normal). Needless to say, they’re trusted bros and work like one mind. And their working relationship is unconventional of sorts – usually an orchestrator begins collaborating with the show’s writer on pre-existing songs. But for Lin and Alex, it’s a team effort. Lin sends Alex a first draft recording of a song, and Alex constructs sheet music from there. Lin leads the way but Alex is in The Room Where It Happens from the jump.
“Lin is the architect. He builds the house. This is the foundation, this is the chord, these are the lyrics, this is the melody. I add the colors. It’s the back and forth. Lin leaves me spaces to contribute, and I’m thankful that becomes part of the song.” {x}
A perfect example of this is when Alex accompanied Lin to the White House in 2009 for the now-famous performance of what is now the first number of the show, Alexander Hamilton. Back then, the idea was just a Hamilton Mixtape – there was now musical in existence. They worked on that song and all the others to create what you hear on the soundtrack now. Also, if you’re a Hamilfan or just genuinely interested in the process of making a musical, watch that interview above. And read this interview. There’s a lot, kids.
Best Costume Design of a Musical – Paul Tazewell
If you’re reading this there’s a good chance you have a copy of Hamiltome on your book shelf. Go to it and read the part about Paul Tazewell’s costume designs, and try to come away feeling anything but amazed. You can’t, can you? If you’re reading this there’s also a good chance you’re a regular Tony viewer, so the name Paul Tazewell probably sounds a bit familiar. His other nominations include A Streetcar Named Desire (2012), Memphis (2010), In The Heights (2008), The Color Purple (2006) and Bring In Da Noise, Bring In Da Funk (1996). Tazewell has experience designing both contemporary and period costumes, but Hamilton called for something a little different. The costumes in Hamilton are nothing short of amazing. They evoke the Revolutionary era, but they aren’t exactly straight out of Colonial Williamsburg, either:
How we used period influence in the costume design and the set design for HAMILTON was indeed the major question for the design team. Because HAMILTON is about an actual and year specific period of time that is very well known, it was important to decide if it would be a filmic recreation of the American Revolution/Colonial Period or if we would do the opposite and have the contemporary sound and telling of the story require me to design with a more modern style, as in contemporary fashion and street clothing. […]
[…] I was also able to start to work out the look for the dancing ensemble which obviously needed to function well for movement and allow them to do everything that Andy Blankenbuehler’s choreography required them to do, as well as create a neutral look that would be able to work seamlessly from Revolutionary Soldier, to men and women on the streets of Colonial New York City, to statesmen of the newly created United States of America. It also became important to have the principal characters stand out from the ensemble. [x]
To read more about Tazewell’s inspiration for specific characters’ costumes (like the Schuyler sisters and Thomas Jefferson), as well as the ensemble’s neutral parchment-colored look, read this excellent interview from Tyranny of Style.
Best Lighting Design of a Musical – Howell Binkley
Hamilton’s lighting design is courtesy of Howell Binkley, a five-time Tony nominee and one-time winner for Jersey Boys. One of those nominations was from In The Heights, so Lin was keeping it in the family yet again. For this production, Howell designed his lighting track by track, creating scenes based on the emotion evoked in each song.
“I gave each song a different look, as each song is a different story, and I wanted to give each one a different quality of light, different texture, and a different flavor,” Binkley adds. “The cast is often on stage watching the action, so I needed to sculpt them without taking away from the main characters. The color came from the mood of the song and the flavor of the music and the subject, rather than a motif for each character. For example, in the song ‘Hurricane,’ the palette is blue-green, turquoise, and yellow—vibrant but not always pretty, as Alexander Hamilton faces inner turmoil before he publishes his writings.” {x}
He also noted that designing the lighting for the show was “like a rock ‘n’ roll cueing sensibility yet with the subtleness of watching a sunset. It’s that extreme, sometimes right in your face, sometimes very intimate, from love scenes to duels.” This description is so on point – from hip-hop numbers to traditional musical theater songs, of course the lighting has to be different – just like the founding fathers, he’s building a nation in the middle of change.
Best Direction of a Musical – Thomas Kail
Tommy Kail is Lin’s Right Hand Man if there ever was one. Tommy was a few years ahead of Lin at Wesleyan University, where they both went to school and ran in the same theater circles. They co-created Freestyle Love Supreme (where they met Chris Jackson and Daveed Diggs) and directed In The Heights, for which he got a Tony nom. One of the great things I’ve noticed about interviews and such from Tommy re: Hamilton is how much he understands the story of the show. He’s not just directing a group of actors across the stage, he’s using them to convey a fairly untold story to an audience who will hopefully be just as moved and immersed in Hamilton’s take as the cast is.
LMM: When you hire Tommy as a director you get a two-for-one because he is also one of the best dramaturges around. He has such an incredible sense of story. A lot of the dramaturgical decisions that went into the structure of this show are from conversations with and suggestions from Tommy. It’s not just about making stage pictures or staging the show with him; he is with you every step of the process in terms of shaping the show and forming the show. He lets you know when you are treading water, if you can get somewhere faster. It’s actually kind of hard to overstate it. {x}
And since they’ve worked together so closely and for such a long time, their partnership works like magic and that magic shows on stage.
TK: One of the most striking things about Lin is his openness once he trusts you. That’s the fundamental difference between working now and when we first started; neither of us has to prove anything to each other in terms of our intention, which is always to make the thing better—to make the song better, to make the moment better, to make it sharper, to make it deeper. Lin knows implicitly that all I’m trying to do is service the piece. He learned that very early on with In the Heights. Effectively, our shorthand has gotten shorter. It’s now almost subliminal and non-verbal. There are times when I can just look at him and he knows exactly what I’m going to say and vise-versa. {x}
Best Choreography – Andy Blankenbuehler
On one hand, hip hop. On the other hand, an 18th century ball. HOW? If anyone was to figure out how to make it work, it would be Andy Blankenbuehler. Andy worked with Lin on In The Heights and Bring It On (noticed a theme yet?), and for Hamilton his choreography was informed by not just the music but also the setting and costumes – you move differently in heavy boots and jackets.
Blankebuehler’s big challenge in choreographing Hamilton was keeping the choreography from becoming repetitive while maintaining a cohesive style throughout. Andy solved this dilemma by creating several recurrent “movement phrases” – I’m just like my country, I’m young scrappy and hungry, for example:
The ensemble is a choreographer’s chance to give voice to things that aren’t being said by the main characters, and for Andy, the ensemble’s point of view had to shift to emphasize different characters’ points of view:
The biggest collaborative thing was figuring out the ensemble’s perspective, the ensemble’s point of view because the strength of the ensemble’s point of view, I think, determines the strength of the musical. If their point of view isn’t clarified, the audience doesn’t invest in them as the lens for the piece. We had constant conversations with ourselves, but also with the cast of like “Right now you’re being Aaron Burr’s ego,” “Right now you’re being a jury that doesn’t have an opinion yet,” “Right now you’re being a jury that’s going to say, ‘Ok, I’m going to listen to Aaron Burr and see what he has to say and I’m going to stand in his shoes.”’ [x]
Modern audiences connect with Hamilton because some feelings and relationships are universal – and it was no different for Blankenbuehler:
I spoke at [the Drama Desk Awards] last year and I was really emotional because that week my daughter was cured of cancer. It was after three years of like chemotherapy every day. And so my family went through a fight for life for three years.
I said that that night in that speech. One of my favorite moments is the rowers and the end of the show when Hamilton’s dying and they’re rowing next to him. Literally, that’s how I felt because of my daughter. And so it’s those moments that are conceptual that I’m really proud of and I’m so thankful that the writers, Lin and [director] Tommy [Kail] and [musical director] Alex [Lacamoire], are trusting dance to accomplish that. [x]
Scenic Design – David Korins
Another previous collaborator (Bring It On), David Korins brings a decade of Broadway experience: he has designed sets for Dear Evan Hansen, Misery, Godspell and many more. For Hamilton, Korins took his inspiration from 18th century New York ship yards, the vestiges of which you can still see in the city. The set contains sturdy beams, ropes and platforms, similar to those a young immigrant Hamilton would have first encountered landing in the new country. Then there’s the turntable, enabling the play to move forward and back through time, to spin faster as Hamilton’s world spins.
With more minute details, Korins shows the transition from the scrappy, under-construction colonies to a new country with a government and politics of its own:
“We go from rifles and racks to scrolls of parchment and maps and fine china, because now they are coming home to govern the country, and start writing laws.And you know, no one sees it. We lose ropes, we tie things off, we buoy and hunker down and become the fledgling nation that we are. No one sees it. They see the turntable, and they’re like, ‘Congratulations, you made a turntable!” [x]
We know all good things must come to an end, and the reign of the Original Broadway Cast of Hamilton can’t be with the show forever. We’ve already said goodbye to Jonathan Groff as King George, and odds are Lin-Manuel is leaving in July, and maybe Leslie too? Despite the fact it will obviously be a sad end of an era with the OBC cast leaving, there are so many talented actors out there who would be perfect for the show. So if we had any say in casting, here are our choices to get in the room where it happens.
Joshua Henry as Alexander Hamilton
Tony-nominated Josh Henry has already worked with Lin in the past, as he was an ensemble member for In The Heights in both the off-Broadway and Broadway productions. In fact, he was in the early Vassar workshops of Hamilton, playing both King George and James Madison/Hercules Mulligan. So why not bring him back to play the lead role? After he ends his run in Shuffle Along, of course. He already did a great job as seen in the video above. HamilJosh? Sign me up.
Kyle Scatliffe as Aaron Burr
I know, he’s busy right now. But think: he has amazing stage presence, he has that perfect tenor/baritone voice, he can play characters in that gray area between good and bad, and I’m sure he would absolutely crush Wait For It. Maybe we’ve never seen him rap, but we’ve seen him cover Tenacious D so we know he can go off-genre.
Taye Diggs as George Washington
I’m not just saying this because we love him. Now that Taye is in his mid-40s (I DON’T KNOW HOW EITHER), I think he has exactly the gravitas needed to pull off a role like George Washington. Let’s talk about One Last Time. Can’t you just hear him singing that? Having an established Broadway veteran playing America’s first president just makes sense. I don’t know whether he can rap (see this) but I feel like he can probably do anything.
Bryshere Gray as James Madison/Hercules Mulligan
I tend to think of Hercules Mulligan as the most youthful of Hamilton’s crew (after Laurens, maybe) and I just know Bryshere Gray (Hakeem from Empire/ Yazz The Greatest) could pull off all of the bravado and energy the character has.
Jordan Fisher as John Laurens/Philip Hamilton
Does this young, strapping man look familiar to you? If you’re of a certain age, you recognize him from the DCOM Teen Beach Movie franchise, but if you’re like us, you’ll know him as Doody from the delightful Grease Live special earlier this year. We basically went through puberty again and swooned after seeing him sing Those Magic Changes, and now that he’s on his own solo career with a R&B/hip-hop vibe, he can fit right in to eventually replace HamHearthrob Anthony Ramos.
Ashley Park as Eliza Hamilton
Ashley Park is currently in The King and I revival on Broadway, and since we just found out the show is closing at the end of the month, let’s give Ashley another job a mile and a half away to the Richard Rodgers, shall we (dance lolololol)? She has a gorge voice and poise on stage that would fit right in with Eliza’s graceful demeanor.
Nikki M. James as Angelica Schuyler
The fab Nikki M. James won a Tony Award for her role as Nabulungi in The Book of Mormon, but if you’ve ever seen the show, you know it’s got a much different vibe than Hamilton. But even in that role, Nabulungi and Angelica have one thing in common – they’re both strong willed women in a male-dominated world, and if Nikki can win a Tony for Nabulungi, she can most def step into bustle for Angelica.
Vanessa Hudgens as and Peggy/Maria Reynolds
Because we loved Grease Live more than we thought we were going to, here’s another musical alum – both of the high school and Broadway varieties. BBV played the good girl in HSM and the bad girl in Grease, a perfect mix needed to play andPeggy/Maria in Hamilton. And if you happen to be one of the people who don’t believe she has the vocal chops, just watch that video above.
Norbert Leo Butz as King George
Oh Norbert. How I love you so. And I want you to be in my life again, and not just on Bloodline. I would like you to specifically join the HamFam because you are talented and great and your voice makes me swoon. The end.
Neil Patrick Harris as King George
I mean, come on. Do I even have to explain this? No. Just enjoy NPH at the Tonys a couple years ago causing a ruckus with a bunch of celebs as Hedwig instead. One of the best-ever performances on the show.
Welcome to #Hamilweek! The Tony Awards are this Sunday, and until then we’re going to write like we’re running out of time (sorry). Hamilton is one of the first hit musicals of the social media era. Lin-Manuel Miranda and the cast realize that a majority of the fans can’t make it to the show, so they try their best to bring an up-close experience to their supporters through the magic of the internet. Case in point: Ham4Ham. Originally intended to give people who don’t win the ticket lotto a consolation prize, it has grown into a must-watch YouTube sensation. We could easily put every damn Ham4Ham on the list, but we tried to narrow it down a bit. Here are some of the best of Hams and best of Ham4Hams:
We Three Kings
Hamilton has been #blessed with three (now four) very talented men to play King George – Brian d’Arcy James, Jonathan Groff and Andrew Rannells. The great tragedy is that they never get to grace the stage at the same time. So it was invevitable that a Hamilfan suggested the three of them get together to sing The Schuyler Sisters. Request on Twitter and ye shall receive, so Lin organized this lip sync version featuring royalty. I love this because someone actually cut all the best angles together to create the best supercut. The fandom is great. – T
Star Techs
An amazing example of the behind-the-scenes coordination and dedication needed to produce a single number in the show. Ladies and gentlemen, I present stage manager Jason Bassett calling cues with the rhythm and timing of a star performer. -M
Whenever I’m tempted to half-ass something from now on, I’m going to remember that Patti LuPone does the whole damn introduction to Give My Regards To Broadway that NOBODY DOES. -M
I’ma Compel Him To Include Women in the Sequel
First the Kings take over for the Schuyler Sisters, then the fierce women take over for A. Ham and the rest of the squad for My Shot. There was a rumor a while ago that the touring production was auditioning females for the male roles and vice versa – it proved to me false, but this video alone shows the ladies are more than ready to go. – T
THIS IS PAVEMENT YOU GUYS.
This is one of those Ham4Hams that has nothing to do with the show – not the performers, not the music, just members of the New York City ballet making my brain explode by performing on the sidewalk so beautifully that it made me want to cry. -M
WERK
For one day, the #Ham4Ham turned into #Bam4Ham, as the the cast took a field trip to Washington D.C. to perform for the president. Naturally, Lin took advantage of the setting and recorded three digital Ham4Hams, including this one, which again features the ladies of the show. I still get chills every time I watch it. Which is a lot. It’s a reminder that the story they’re telling at the Richard Rodgers stemmed from real events, not just made up characters for a Broadway show. That Hamilton and the rest of the founding fathers built this nation from the ground up, and these beautiful actors have the privilege of telling their story. -T
Fun Ham
If you’ve read Chernow’s biography, or just engaged in some deep-Googling, you probably know that Alexander and Eliza had eight children. And if you’re a youngest or middle child, you won’t be surprised that everyone only talks about the oldest. The Fun Home kids bring the other Hamilton sibs to life and tell you a little about their accomplishments. Is Oscar Williams old enough to play Phillip when Anthony Ramos leaves (long may Anthony Ramos remain, though)? -M
Minamahal Kita
This Ham4Ham holds a special place in my heart because it was the video that informed me Lin’s longterm girlfriend in college was Filipino. And like the type of Filipino that taught her boyfriend conversational Tagalog. And that Lin is the type of person that would compose a song in Taglish (Tagalog and English) to mack on his girl. My brain exploded and all that came out were the emojis with heart eyes. Oh, also Queen of the Philippines Lea Salonga is in this too. -T
Heights4Ham
Chances are if you love Hamilton, you loved Lin’s first venture, In The Heights, as well … and this miniature ITH reunion was better than I even hoped for. Karen Olivo, everyone! -M
Funny Girl
Has anyone proven that Jasmine Cephas Jones ISN’T magic? At least a little bit?
Silky Strikes Again
Leslie Odom Jr. could me the McDonalds value menu and I’d be so enthralled by it that I’d buy every damn thing. But when you mix my fave track Wait For It with an emotional song like Stars from Les Mis – forget it. I am undone. -T
~*BFFLs*~
I love Jimmy Fallon. I love Lin-Manuel Miranda. They are both equally cinnamon rolls too precious for this world. So when they get together it’s sugar overload. What? Yes. Just watch. – T
If I Was A Schuyler
Tevye’s daughters from the Fiddler On The Roof (including Lin’s former intern!) make their best case for appearing as the Schuyler sisters. I’m sold. -M
Kyle Jean-Baptiste
Summer 2015: in addition to the diverse cast playing the founding fathers in Hamilton, Broadway had its first black Valjean in Kyle Jean-Baptiste. You could, and can, feel theater changing. This is bittersweet now: Kyle died tragically at just 21 years old, but thanks to this Ham4Ham we can still appreciate his talent.
Netflix synopsis: Coach purchases an antique scale that also delivers fortunes, and the Cheers clan begins to attribute supernatural powers to the scale.
Previously, on Cheers
Sam and Diane are still together. That weird actor who maybe wanted to kill Diane was never seen again. Coach coaches, Carla brings her baby to work. Roughly eight episodes feature a “is Sam going to do it with someone who’s not Diane” plot (he doesn’t). Sam and Diane say I love you, finally.
One Hit Wonders
(Characters we don’t expect to be seeing again)
This scale.
So What Had Happened Was…
(Basic recap of the episode’s main plot)
Coach buys a scale from a weird man with an accent and it causes a ruckus in the bar. The scale, spits out a fortune on a piece of paper when you stand on it, is now a staple in the bar because they can’t return it to the janky salesman. Also the bill went to Sam and not Coach? Coach straight up buying luxuries without telling Sam. Rude.
“It’s gotta be some kind of mistake. Why would I buy a crate?” – Coach, when the scale he purchased came in a large wooden crate.
Everyone is really into the fortune telling scale, so now there’s a line at the scale of barflies because it’s apparently the Duck Hunt of Cheers. (Or the Naked Lady Find The Difference Game, but let’s go with Duck Hunt). Despite the scale giving out weird fortunes.
T: I finally figured Coach out and why I’m constantly annoyed with him – he is a walking “Who’s on third?” joke. Now that I have about a season and a half under my belt, I’ve gotten increasingly irritated with the corny “jokes” and how they dumb him down. It’s not my type of humor at all.
M: I agree and also think that’s why I skip a lot of older sitcoms – because some shows are Cheers, with Sam and Diane and our boo Carla to balance out Coach, but a lot of pre-2000s sitcoms are just… all Coaches. All Coach, no Carla – that’s my summary of bad 80s TV.
(I also stand by my theory that Coach is the one who is just there in case they need something serious to happen to someone, e.g. wife with cancer, house fire).
T: The B story involves Norm going on a blind date… and it turns out the blind date was Norm’s ex-wife (estranged?) Vera. And now they’re back together.
M: I have a feeling that Vera is Norm’s Tammy Two.
Carla’s My Boo
Carla’s convinced it’s telling the actual truth, so as a way to reverse the curse, if you will, Carla wards off the evil spirits by doing this:
Carla also blames the curse on someone not praying before leaving the house. Love when they throw in these weird “Carla’s superstitious/ very Catholic” asides.
Shut Up, Diane
(We just have a feeling we’re going to be saying Shut Up, Diane at our screens KIND OF A LOT.)
Diane gets a fortune and it says: “Deception in romance proves costly” she is hiding something.
And she has resorted to copying whatever Carla does.
Little Ditty About Sam & Diane
Sam was all ready to buy Diane make-up flowers because he didn’t go to some art show she wanted him to go to, but she comes in and is all lovey-dovey? Something is afoot.
“I just missed ya so, ya big lug” Diane to Sam – why doesn’t anyone call people “lug” anymore?
Diane asks for a big “smooch-a-roo” which I think nobody called those in the first place.
DIANE TOOK ANOTHER MAN TO THE ART SHOW (performance?) SAM SKIPPED OUT ON! This explains why she she was acting shady after getting that fortune from the scale.
“The only battles I ever won in life, I won on my own.” Sam
“That was brilliantly put.” Diane
“You said that to me a few days ago.” Sam
“But you remembered it and used it in the proper context.” Diane
So basically Diane invited this classmate male friend to her apartment after the show and she feels guilty she was able to talk about all her interests with someone who gave a shit, and Sam’s reaction is – “I’m grateful. This makes sense. We should break up.” HEH???
And then Sam & Diane attempt to break up, and in pure Sam & Diane fashion… it’s ridiculous to say the least.
“We can’t break up because a pile of metal springs said we were going to.There’s too much at stake here.” Diane
“Forgive me.” Sam
“Tell me you didn’t break up with me.” Diane
“Of course I didn’t break up with you.” Sam
“Then I’m first. You are history!” Diane
Angry Sam kicks the scale and a fortune comes out – “Machine empty order more fortunes today” except they can’t because the company doesn’t exist.
The Luke Danes of 1980s Boston
(In which we gush over dreamy yet often grumpy bartender Sam Malone)
Sam’s stance on this bar is fire:
Sam, who doesn’t give a shit about this fortune telling scale, taunts Carla with jazz hands after reading her (fake) fortune: “You will grow lips on your forehead”
LLOL
(Literal Laugh Loud Loud moments from the episode)
Cliff explains to Norm where the fulcrum is on the large crate to open it and the wooden panel falls on his head. Honestly the physical comedy makes me laugh more than Coach’s jokes. He did have one quip that made me chortle in episode nine:
Sam: Coach, we don’t want to be bothered.
Coach: Who does?
Also, Coach’s description of the antique scale salesman (?) as a cross between Abraham Lincoln and Hitler was ALMOST funny.
“Then we split some clams casino and a little Chateaubriand, her favorite wine. Next thing, we went back to what used to be our place and we kind of made love.” Norm
“You can’t ‘kind of’ make love.” Sam
“You don’t know Vera.” Norm
Say It Again, Sam
(Memorable lines from the episode. Not exclusively from Sam Malone.)
“It’s a sad world we live in when Sam Malone becomes the voice of reason.” Sam speaking the truth about himself. Everyone is getting out of hand with this scale’s fortunes,
“She’s losing what’s left of her grey matter and I don’t mean her underwear.” Diane about Carla
“You’re crackers, you know that?” Sam to Diane. Crackers, y’all. (TBH, sounds like more of a Diane term. Her influence is showing.)
Cheers Queries
Cliff fell down the stairs and is now all unconscious and has no idea what is going on. In the last episode, Cliff comes face to face with a bully, and proves that he’s not a wuss by showing off his karate skills. He breaks a 4×4 and cement block. Only problem is that he doesn’t know karate and has to secretly ask Diane to take him to the hospital because he probably has a concussion. I’m starting to think this was some sort of continuity thing but maybe not? Does any of this even matter?
I guess I also have a general question about Sam and Diane’s relationship. I definitely ship Sam/Diane but I wish the tactic wasn’t always to up the conflict between them. Like introducing girls Sam’s going to be into (oh lord, I almost wrote Luke instead of Sam there), or having Diane’s “highbrow” interests get in the way. So my query is just… do we have to? I want a solid 5 episode streak where Sam and Diane are good and the conflict comes from Coach’s house burning down or Carla not knowing who her baby is or something.
Barfly Fashion
Sam’s green sweater is so fresh and so clean
For some reason, Norm’s blue cardi just screams 1984 to me.
Also very 1984, Carla’s pink velour long sleeved shirt and complementing maroon velour pants. (I also feel like velour doesn’t breathe and she’s going to be trapped in a sweat-shell and that it’s going to absorb spilled beer from the counter like a bar mop.)
Sam’s velour pants. So hot. Diane’s blue peasant blouse + green velour skirt. Not as hot. Just classy af.
A bit of a contrahversay went down recently when a Buzzfeed article pointed out that “everyone’s been mishearing one lyric on the iconic Jennifer Lopez/Ja Rule hit I’m Real song wrong for years. YEARS. Apparently a handful of folks thought JLo was saying, “Are you Ellie?” in the beginning, when in reality, she was saying, “R.U.L.E.”, because, you know, Ja Rule. I personally was offended by this post because duh, logically it makes no sense she would be asking Ja if he’s some rando named ‘Ellie’. And if she’s not asking Ja, who is she asking? Spelling out names in songs is cool and hip, which is why THOSE ARE THE REAL LYRICS.
But I get it. we all make mistakes. We all mishear lyrics from time to time, even if you realize just how dumb you sounded when you were singing the wrong ones. Here are a few we’ve mistakenly been “Ellie-ing” for years.
Let’s forget that the song is titled Roll To Me. I thought the lyrics were “the right time and the wrong me” from third grade through, oh, age 27 or so, when I tried to look up the song for a little nostalgia boost and couldn’t find it with the words I was using. But think about it: the video is the heads of the band members on babies. It’s the right time but the WRONG ME because he is still a BABY. Plus “right time, wrong me” makes sense whereas “roll to me” isn’t an expression … is what I thought for about 20 years.
Trap Queen by Fetty Wap
For over a year, I was completely positive that Fetty Wap was in the kitchen cooking prawns with his baby. Part of it is how he says “pies,” part of it is that everyone knows that you don’t cook a pie, you bake it. By the way, I learned this one via the change.org petition to have Fetty Wap perform this at Nancy Reagan’s funeral.
I Melt With You by Modern English
I learned I had the words wrong in the most embarrassing and most common way you can learn you have the words wrong: singing along with the song at one of my trashy house parties in college. One of my friends stopped, looked and me, and said “that’s cute, you’re changing the lyrics to be about me and you.” Nope. Just an idiot who thought that Modern English was saying “I’ll stop the world and marry you.” Evidently diction isn’t part of the Modern English curriculum.
Here Comes The Hotstepper by Ini Kamoze
You’re going to need to understand that leprechauns were having a moment in the early to mid 90s. The movie Leprechaun really elevated the tiny Irish guys to a menacing figure worthy of horror films and rap lyrics. That’s why I thought Ini Kamoze was professing to be the “leprechaun gangster” for over a decade. “We don’t die, yes we multiply” even sounded like the concept of a leprechaun-based B-movie.
The Shoop Shoop Song by Betty Everett
It’s not just that, throughout my childhood, I thought she was saying “if you want to know if he loves you so, it’s in his kids.” It’s also that I created an elaborate scenario where it was a song about a woman falling for a single dad. I watched a lot of Full House, yes.
Traci’s Picks
Paper Planes by M.I.A.
The chorus is lit’rally half sound effects, yet somehow I always thought the lyrics were: “All I wanna do is *Bang Bang Bang Bang*/And *Click* *Ka-Ching*/’Mathangi’ on my neck”. You know, Mathangi as in M.I.A.’s real name. Duh. Apparently I was over thinking it because the real words are: “All I wanna do is *Bang Bang Bang Bang*/ And *Click* *Ka-Ching*/And take your money”. Ok fine, that makes more sense.
Billie Jean by Michael Jackson
Anyone else think the words were, “But the jet is not my son”? I mean, obviously it doesn’t even make any sense, but I guess I didn’t matter to me because the song was so rad? But when I found out the real lyrics were actually “But the kid is not my son”, it totally changed the entire song meaning for me.
Lean On by Major Lazer Featuring DJ Snake & MØ
So I guess my main takeaway from this post is that I’m not reall good with lyrics involving guns? Because I thought the chorus went: “Focus, fire a gun/We need someone to lean on”, when in reality it’s, “Blow a kiss, fire a gun/We need someone to lean on”. Whatever, she’s Danish.
You Oughta Know by Alanis Morissette
In my defense, I’d bet there are a lot of people who also have no idea what Alanis is singing on this album. Right?
I want you to know, That I’ve had beef with you/I wish nothing but the best for you both
I know the virgin in me/Is she perverted like me?
Would she go down on you in a theater?
Does she speak Eloguquani (some type of Native American language?)/And would she have your baby?
I’m sure she’d make a really excellent mother
… So, um… let’s take a look at the real lyrics:
I want you to know, that I am happy for you/I wish nothing but the best for you both
An older version of me/Is she perverted like me?
Would she go down on you in a theater?
Does she speak eloquently/And would she have your baby?
I’m sure she’d make a really excellent mother
At least I think my version is a better look on Dave Coulier?
Work by Rihanna
Just, like, all the chorus. I’m not the only one in the dark here, right? I looked it up on Genius and apparently the reason why we think it’s garbled speak is because she’s singing in Jamaican patois. “Haffi” = have to, “ah guh” = is going to, and “Meh nuh cyar” = I don’t care. The music video makes much more sense now. Here are the real lyrics:
Work, work, work, work, work, work/He said me haffi
Work, work, work, work, work, work!/He see me do mi
Dirt, dirt, dirt, dirt, dirt, dirt!/So me put in
Work, work, work, work, work, work/When you ah guh
Learn, learn, learn, learn, learn/Meh nuh cyar if him
Hurt, hurt, hurt, hurt, hurting
Happy birthday, Rent! Jonathan Larson’s musical premiered 20 years ago today, and in that time Rent has transformed popular musical theater, changed lives, and traveled the world. It’s a testament to Jonathan Larson’s vision that this musical, set in the very specific time and place of Alphabet City in the late 80s-mid 90s, still resonates across the globe. Rent has now been performed on every continent except Antarctica (and maybe Antarctica too, if any of those research scientists are theater geeks). Today, rather than celebrating Rent’s 20th anniversary with the OBC renditions we’ve loved since we were way too young to understand them, we’re taking a look at how Rent has been adapted and translated to reach audiences worldwide.
Rent, Japan
After Rent debuted on Broadway, it quickly became a hit sensation. Producers decided to capitalize on its success by bring the musical to different cities around the world. A mere two years later, Rent opened in Japan, at the height of Rent-mania. Here we see truly contemporary scenes, including an Asian Joanne wearing fake dreads like her African-American counterpart, and it may or may not be cultural appropriation. I find it funny that Japanese words tend to be English words but just said differently, or when you just hear a rando English word like, “headline” news, “Trick-or-Treat” and of course “RENT!”
Fun fact: for a quick second at the beginning of the clip, you see an older gentleman with glasses – that is Al Larson, father of Jonathan Larson. To this day, he goes to as many Rent productions around the world as he can, acting as a representation for his late son and their family.
One Song Glory, Norway
I’d like to preface this by saying I’m still not sure if this is a high school production or not, but either way, this Roger isn’t exactly as strong as Adam Pascal. With all these international versions I find myself translating it into English and thinking I’m fluent in whatever language it’s in. Finna = Find in Norwegian!
Light My Candle, Greece
It’s clear that hundreds, maybe even thousands, of pretty women have gotten the chance to play Mimi Marquez, and in Greece, she was played by this gal, who I sincerely think is great and one of the better foreign singers I’ve heard so far. Words I understood: Papou (all thanks to Full House and the passing of Papouli).
Tango Maureen, Brasil
For the Tango Maureen, why would we look anyplace other than Latin America? (Okay, Argentina would have been ideal, but it sounds good in Portuguese). Language aside, Joanne seems so different in this production that it’s worth watching. Also, how is sunny, warm Brazil the only production to nail cold-weather clothing?
Out Tonight, Germany
*FYI the sound is really bad on this, so don’t put it on max vol!* Is it me or does Out Tonight just sound slightly aggressive in German?
I’ll Cover You, Korea
I don’t know what I was expecting, but it sure wasn’t Angel and Collins being exactly the same, but Korean. Remember in The Simpsons where there’s alternate universe Maggie with the unibrow? That’s what it feels like. Equally adorable, in any language or continent.
La Vie Boheme, Spain
Including a Spanish production was a no-brainer, since that was my major in college and I spent almost 5 months in Madrid. But here’s a little secret: this song is like 50% people’s names and foods and you could translate this into English with a year of junior high Spanish. It still really, really works in Spanish though.
Seasons of Love, Cuba
Seasons of Love is already a beautiful song, but when it’s sung in a literal romantic language, it just makes it that more beautiful. And emotional. I’m not crying, you’re crying.
Without You, Montreal
I don’t know about you all, but when I think heartbreak, I think French. You know how some songs sound just wrong in other languages – the meter or the generally feel is just off? Somehow, Rent sounds great in almost every language, but this one is especially nice in French.
Like any successful project with a rabid fan base, there’s a desire, and maybe even more so now, an expectation for additional installments (see: all the Fast & Furious movies, Arrested Development, Gilmore Girls, Prison Break, for some reason). Same rang true for Rent. In the years following, a Rent movie had always been a topic of discussion and the OG cast members were always asked when a movie was going to happen. And nearly 10 years after Rent debuted in 1996, a big screen adaptation of the blockbuster musical finally premiered in the fall of 2005.
It was received with mixed reviews from fans and critics, so we decided to re-watch the film and get to the bottom of why it was loved by some and hated by others. Conclusion:
Question: Why isn’t Daphne Rubin-Vega in this again?
T: I could look up the politics of this again but I don’t remember why Daphne Rubin-Vega was replaced with Rosario Dawson? Because she’s too “old”? She’s “not hot enough”? They needed a “movie star”?
M: I was thinking about this while driving the other day (secondary theme of the week: we are not cool). I decided she was working on another project at the time, which may be a lie. (OK, looked it up: she was pregnant.) Either way, Mimi is harder than all of the other characters to play 10 years after the musical premiered, because it is the only one saddled with a very specific, very young age (19, looks 16). Which brings me to:
Concern: Everyone Is Old
M: I’m no spring chicken, so that’s not an insult. But all of the OBC actors are a decade older than they were when they were cast in the musical, and it is central to the plot that these are vibrant idealists in the prime of life. It still works, and I will gladly suspend disbelief to see this many original cast members reprise their breakout roles. But the characters read different when they look like urban professionals in their 30s. I can tell you that at almost 30, my response to almost every situation in Rent, were it to happen in my real life, would be “I am too damn old for this.”
T: And for me, what was weird that I thought some of them looked younger than I thought they were when I watched it a decade ago. So young-looking old people playing the role of 1990s “millennials” is what this film features.
Concern: December 24 … 1989?
M: This was controversial when the movie came out (controversial for those of us who are too invested in film adaptations of musicals, anyway). The musical was set in the present day (at first) and as time wore on, around the era when it was released: the mid-90s. 1989 was when Jonathan Larson began his work on it. I’m not sure why this decision was made. Is it because in 2005, it was hard to conceive of a 90s period piece? Or because 1989 feels more like peak AIDS crisis? Because Mimi would look adorable in 80s clothes?
Anyway. There are some scenes where it doesn’t really work – cyber cafes were SO 90s, and I feel like we didn’t start talking about the end of the millennium until the mid 90s – but I don’t mind it too much. I’m mostly amazed at how they created a gritty version of the New York of 1980s Sesame Street eps.
Comment: IMDb makes me smart
T: Fun fact: There are two v notable names listed as executive producers of this project: Robert De Niro (of Robert De Niro) and Jeffrey Seller, who produced small hits such as Avenue Q, In The Heights and Hamilton, a show we never talk about, ever.
Comment: Tune Up #1
T: I actually like how they turned Tune Up #1 into Mark’s speaking monologue so it doesn’t come off as too “musical-y” but for the Rent-heads out there, I’m sure you found it just as hard not singing along to it. This is a choice they make throughout the movie, and for the most part, I think it’s smart. But at times it just sounds like they’re doing some sort of sing-songy slam poetry.
M: Plus, it keeps the movie from being 3 hours long. Source: church is always longer when the priest sings all of the talk-y bits instead of speaking them.
Concern: I now identify with Benny more than anyone else.
M: Benny realized that he’s 28 (made up age), married Allison Hendrix Gray, and acknowledged that in America, at the end of the millennium, you gotta collect rent on the building you own that’s gonna be prime real estate in 15 years. What happened to his heart? It’s the Bush I era and a man’s gotta make a buck.
But maybe I’m just saying that because Taye Diggs is a beautiful, beautiful man and he is KILLING IT in You’ll See.
T: I momentarily seethed when he started to speak the lines from You’ll See in fear we wouldn’t get to hear him sing the one song that’s his in the entire show.
Comment: Oh Benny
Benny rolls up to Alphabet City in his Range Rover and is immediately surrounded by protesting tenants angrily singing Rent to him. Rough start.
Comment: I love Angel.
M: Wilson Jermaine Heredia plays Angel with the perfect mix of humor, life, and too-good-to-be-true kindness. Angel/Collins is one of my favorite musical couples.
Comment: Can I get a light
T: I understand the point is that the power blows but it’s darker than How to Get Away With Murder up in here.
M: Like when we were watching Cheers, I had to adjust my set because half of the background is just black blobs with the occasional string of Christmas lights. Mimi says our eyes will adjust.
Comment: April looks like a young Poehler + Gillian Anderson
M: And everyone looks 200% more 80s in the flashbacks. Just how long ago was that supposed to be?
Concern: Did Rosario Dawson miss her musical calling?
How did Rent effect Rosario Dawson’s potential musical theater career?? JK.
Comment: Mimi’s junkie makeup is really effective.
M: That might sound like faint praise but I mean it – she looks strung out and feverish but not in a gross way?
Concern: I now identify with Mark more than anyone else.
Mark, talking about his parents’ laborious message on the answering machine: “There are times when we’re dirt broke, hungry, and freezing, and I ask myself, why the hell am I still living here? And then they call. And I remember.”
T: Same, Mark. Same.
Concern: When the characters are in their late 30s they just sound like people who talk too much about brunch.
M: E.g., Mark says to Collins “so that’s why you could afford to splurge on us” and it sounds like nothing so much as two guys discussing who’s buying the mimosas this week.
Comment: Angel’s entrance
T: But can you just imagine meeting someone like for the first time like this? Comes in dancing and singing with a plastic pickle tub about killing a random woman’s dog? I’d be like WHO IS THIS PERSON
M: Is Angel on coke? Because that is not a normal human energy level. Also also, believe it or not, Angel in Rent is when I first learned about using the pronouns people choose for themselves, because it was 1996 and I was 9.
Comment: I truly love Tracie Thoms
T: I’m fine with not bringing back Fredi Walker – Tracie is a better match chemistry wise with Idina.
M: Yes. Fredi Walker isn’t at all matronly, but her Joanne was more staid and mature, which made Maureen seem even more like a attention-seeking kid.
Comment: Tango Maureen hotness
T: I’m v into Joanne serving business chic & Idina serving tango dancer hotness.
M: I love how the dialogue about how Mark vs Joanne learned to dance shows, in two lines, exactly what kind of upper middle class kid each was.
Comment: They nailed Joanne’s 80s businesswoman attire.
Jheri curl, wide short tie, suspenders, statement earrings. It works.
Comment: Mighty Ducks meets Gilmore
As mentioned the other day in our Dream Cast post, there are two people of note in Life Support – Wayne Wilcox (Marty from Gilmore Girls) and Aaron Lohr (D2 & D3: Mighty Ducks and Newsies), two people from your youth you definitely didn’t expect to be in the Rent movie.
Question: Are New York/Pittsburgh exotic dancer scenes different?
When I watched Flashdance for the first time, I learned stripping in Pittsburgh during the 80s involved Japanese Kabuki, and apparently exotic dancing in New York in the early ’90s
Question: Will I?
T: How many of y’alls tried getting your friends to sing Will I in a round like this be honest
M: Just another Friday night in high school with the theater kids, hanging out in a basement rec room singing about “will I lose my dignity.”
Comment: The homeless woman is the voice of all of us watching Rent after our idealist phase has ended.
“Hey artist? Got a dollar. Didn’t think so.”
Question: Anyone else wanna hand out hand sanitizer after Santa Fe?
Everyone’s hands are ALL OVER the subway railings. (I remember being on the subway with a drunk friend in college who insisted on doing weird flips like Collins, and I was like okay, I’ll be at the end of the car pretending something’s happening on my phone BYE)
Question: What is Computer Age Philosphy (Actual Reality)?
T: I truly have no idea.
Question: Why are these two the cutest?
M: I’m going to go ahead and call I’ll Cover You the most adorable duet in musical history … even if this relationship is moving crazy fast. If you’re Jesse L. Martin or Wilson Jermaine Heredia, and you meet someone as cute as you are, you don’t let that pass you by.
Collins: Are we a thing?
Angel: Darling… we’re everything!
Why did they take that line out?!?!
T: Fun fact: This version of I’ll Cover You used to be my ringtone. I was the coolest.
Concern: The Rent/Hamilton effect
T: Roger says “Look around!” and I immediately continued sing, “look around, how lucky we are to be alive right now!” Ah the irony of being obsessed with a musical which was in part influenced by the musical you’re watching.
Question: How does Maureen have this many fans
M: Yeah, but not counting the homeless, how many tickets weren’t comped?
Comment: This shot of Idina
Actually, no comment at all.
Question: What do you think the crowd at the performance space smells like?
M: Me, I think weed, cigarettes, those alternative deodorants that don’t work.
I love how Angel proves they can pay for dinner this time by flashing him a folded bill
Question: How does Benny think he’s going to “break ground in mid-January”?
Shit’s frozen.
Comment: Viva La Vie Boheme
Just for once I’d like to act out this scene in a legit production. Not even the whole show, just this scene. They have fun.
M: Seconded.
LOL Mark’s solo dance – I’ve never related so much to him. Except all the other times.
M: OH LORD get me a gif of Mark in that moment and project it onto my tombstone.
Concern: I almost fast-forwarded through Seasons of Love because it’s too sad.
M: Lest you think a 20-year-old musical can’t move me anymore, I almost start crying at Seasons of Love. Goal: all 2+ hours of this, no tears.
T: I mean, fair. The line, “How do you figure a last year on earth?” like, stop it.
M: I’m also noticing that Seasons of Love is very obviously the song they included to be a breakout hit. Like, “okay, we need one song in a basic pop structure with no swearing or weird sex stuff in it so we can go on the Rosie show.”
Comment: All Angel all the time pls
After a night of celebrating New year’s Eve, the gang arrives back at their building only to find a padlock on the door. Angel swiftly grabs a trash can to knock it off, and after she triumphs, an equally inebriated Collins asks, “You gonna put that trash can back?” and a definitely not drunk Angel replies, “No”. The best delivery.
Comment: I FORGOT SARAH SILVERMAN IS IN THIS
M: I forgot both that she was in it and that she was SO GOOD as a cold businessperson.
Concern: For Mark’s overall wellbeing
T: Proposing (to your girlfriend) in front of your ex(boyfriend) is a ballsy move, Maureen. I just can’t get over how much I am Mark.
M: Me too. I am Mark in the same ways that I am Chandler.
Question: Exactly how long have Maureen and Joanne been together?
M: Because Collins didn’t know Mark and Maureen had broken up, and Joanne and Mark just met, but apparently Maureen and Joanne are engaged.
T: U-Hauls, amirite?
Comment: Maureen’s kind of a bitch
“Every single day I walk down the street. I hear people say ‘Baby’ so sweet… There will always be women in rubber.” Maureen… calm down.
Comment: Benny and Mimi
T: I still don’t get how characteristically, Benny would want to date Mimi? He seems super pretentious ever since he moved out of Alphabet City, and looks down on everyone who lives there.
Concern: Without You is a lot more graphic in the film adaptation
M: We are treated to Mimi’s delirium tremens (I think?), the ever-shrinking support group, Angel’s scary looking fever, hospitalization, drug buying, strip clubs, all that. I’m just going to go ahead and say I can never tell when people are supposed to be sick from drugs stuff vs AIDS stuff. Anyway. Without You is like the opposite of those montages of people having wacky fun and falling in love.
Question: Will I be able to make it through the I’ll Cover You Reprise without crying?
Comment: No. And ugly crying at that.
M: At least Traci cried vs me, who just fast-forwarded through the whole funeral. I know I said I am a Chandler, but I have a strong Joey Tribbiani “book in the freezer” mentality for stuff I don’t want to see.
T: Like Hannah Horvath, I am a glutton for pain. We’re just a blog about comparing ourselves to fictional characters now.
Comment: I am Mark reason #1094
T: Mark says, “Come on guys chill” during Goodbye Love when everyone is fighting. Excuse me while I go find a vintage videocamera and start documenting my friends’ terrible love lives.
Question: You know what I miss?
Using yuppie as an insult. (NB, I am technically a yuppie now? )
Question: How many times do you think Anthony Rapp & Adam Pascal have had to sing What You Own in their lifetime?
Approx a million.
Comment: I am Mark reason #1095
“Dive into work, drive the other way.” Me too, Mark. Me too.
Concern: Everytime I hear the phone ring i have a Pavlov dog’s response to getting up to answer the landline
Comment: Your Eyes
You Eyes, a mediocre song at best, is not a song Roger should be singing to Mimi on her “deathbed”. Like I know this scene is sad and everyhting, but this song would not be the last one I’d want to hear. ever
Question: What disease is Mimi having?
Is this AIDS? Hypothermia? Drug overdose? Picturesque yet vague musical theater malady?
Comment: I reflexively sing all of the lines in my head that they’re speaking here.
e.g., I rewired the ATM at the food emporium to provide an honorarium to anyone with the code.
Question:You know what I didn’t account for during rent week?
Welcome to EVERYTHING IS RENT Week – a celebration of the 20th anniversary of one of our favorite musicals, and a beloved show by millions around the world. We’re kicking it off with confessions, of sorts. Let’s back it up a bit. Rent opened on Broadway on April 29th, 1996. We were 9 and 10 years old at the time. Rent mania was at its peak in the years following, and since we’re both cut from the same musical theatre/Patti LuPone cloth, we became fans of the show in our tween/teen years.
And if you’ve seen Rent or are familiar with the music, you know it would probably be rated M for Mature Audiences, or at least get a TV-14 rating. Naturally, there were some plot points, lyrics, and insights we didn’t get at the time, but now as adults (and older than most of the main characters in the show), we obviously have a different perspective on life and understand Rent much, much better than before. Here are some of the light bulb moments we’ve had in the past 20 or so years, and hopefully we’re not the only ones who were a little late to the game. Get at us, fellow millennials!
Everything about Contact
T: I believe I was 13 when I saw Rent for the first time (full disclosure, I’ve seen it 8 times in total), and true story – I went with my church youth group. I didn’t go to a super progressive church, however I did go to a United Church of Christ, which used rainbows in all their logos for a while because they were pro-equality and stuff. Anyways, it was a group outing sans parents, and it was a majority of my friends and like two of our cool youth group leaders. However, when it came time for Contact, a scene which simulates sex, I was uncomfy to the max. I looked down at my program, attempted to stare at other non-condom looking pieces on the stage, but I mostly just blocked it out of my first Rent experience. I even skipped over the song when I listened to the soundtrack (I know, #prude). It took me a while before I could listen to it for what it actually was, and why it held importance to the story as a whole. Stay safe out there, kids.
M: Oh, I skipped over Contact EVERY TIME. Probably still would. We played a lot of cast albums around my house when I was a kid, and I think it was an unspoken understanding that we didn’t listen to that one. But am I wrong in thinking that the staging was kind of weird, and so was the song and, awkward tween moments aside, it’s the least catchy number on the OBC album? My inner Catholic School 11-year-old suspects that I am not.
Mimi was a stripper
T: So this probably seems obvious to most people, but Mimi Marquez (Daphne Rubin-Vega) was a stripper. For some reason, I thought she was just a straight up prostitute/hooker/lady of the night. Maybe it was the provocative clothes and the fact she was on the hunt for her dropped baggie of heroin in Light My Candle? IDK. I mean it doesn’t even really make sense, seeing as how I knew all the lyrics by heart:
Do you go to the Cat Scratch Club?
That’s where I work, I dance
Yes!
They used to tie you up
It’s a living
I didn’t recognize you without the handcuffs
I also thought he meant she got arrested a lot – because she was a prostitute.
HOLD UP WAS LIGHT MY CANDLE ALSO MIMI TRYING TO GET A LIGHT SO SHE COULD HEAT UP HER HEROIN???? HONESTLY I’M HAVING AN A-HA MOMENT RIGHT NOW IS THIS REAL CAN SOMEONE CONFIRM THIS? THIS IS BRAND NEW INFORMATIOn
M: I grew up next to one drug house and across the street from another, so yeah, that part wasn’t lost on me. (This is where our urban vs suburban upbringing really shines. In our musical theater analysis. Because whether from the streets or the culs de sac, we’re both mostly theater nerds.)
All About Akita
T: I have a tendency to listen more to music and composition over lyrics a lot of times, which I personally find annoying. So when I first saw Today 4 U being performed, all I could focus on was this guy dancing in heels way better than I ever could. Listening back to it, I always thought it was just a fun song to dance to. But then I got woke and paid attention to the lyrics and it was an eye-opening moment to realize Angel had killed a dog for money.
A few things about this:
A rando woman (imagine Jacqueline Vorhees on Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt S1) rolls up to Angel in her limo and is all, ‘Dahling, be a dear, kill my neighbor’s dog for me because it’s too yippy and loud. But kill it using your talent as a plastic tub drummer, you know how you make a living. kthxbyeee’.
How would you agree to do this?? You’re broke and offered $1,000 yeah ok that makes sense.
But then you tell this story with glee to people you’ve just met?
Again, Jacqueline Vorhees wannabe was certain his drumming would make the dog kill itself: “I believe if you play nonstop that pup/Will breathe its very last high strung breath/I’m certain that cur will bark itself to death”
And then it did by jumping out the window of an apartment building.
Didn’t realize the phrase “Today for you, tomorrow for me” basically meant to pay it forward, and someone will help you when you need it the most.
Seasons of Love
T: By the end of 8th grade, I was fully obsessed with Rent. So much so that I managed to convince our music teacher to let us sing Seasons of Love at graduation. I consider this one of my greatest accomplishments, despite the fact it touches upon death. And it’s from a musical which features sexy, drugs, and death from AIDS. And I don’t think I fully realized that at the time. I don’t think my 60ish other classmates did either. You’re welcome class of 2000 from my Catholic middle school.
*PS: Please note pre-Hamilton Renee Elise Goldsberry in the video above, and also note the tears that will project from your eyeballs.
Learning La Vie Boheme
T: When I first listened to the soundtrack, I didn’t get about 80% of the references in La Vie Boheme. I could sing the entire thing back to you but there were so many pop culture references in the song that Amy Sherman-Palladino would be left exhausted. But, like ASP’s work, I had to look up and research all the words and names I didn’t recognize and TBH, Rent is the reason why I know who people like Akira Kurosawa or Vaclav Havel are. Art is educational, y’all.
PS: Still reeling from my Light My Candle revelation, TBH.
M: See, there was no tumblr in 1996, so young people had to list the stuff they were into in song, instead.
Nobody Pays Their Rent
M: I rewatched Rent this past Christmas, after the unexpected death of a too-young family member a week before. I fast-forwarded through all of the parts about, y’know, death and dying. HEY. Did you know when you take out the AIDS and tragedy, Rent is just a piece about financial irresponsibility????
When I was 9-14 years old, I was very “YES. You ride that bike midday past the 3-piece suits. Follow your heart. Follow your ART.” And at 29, these people annoy me. Get a job – it doesn’t need to be a traditional one, but thief and grifter aren’t jobs – and pay your rent. And stop being shitty to your middle class parents who probably sacrificed their dreams so you could squat in a loft avoiding their calls.
Bad Tippers At The Life Cafe
M: In real life, just about everyone I know who is, or once was, struggling to make ends meet is also a very good tipper. Running out on your bill? Way to stick it to the artsy bohemian cafe and the waiter who makes less than minimum wage because you’re supposed to tip him. I guess it just bothers me because they’re not even screwing over “the man.”
One Song Glory > Your Eyes
M: Roger’s song about writing a song: so good. The actual song Roger writes: so very, very cheesy. Is the takeaway that Roger isn’t a very good songwriter? Or is the rhyming dictionary entry for “eyes” set to music actually a great song, and I just don’t realize it?
Falling Quickly
M: In sixth grade, it didn’t occur to me that Jack and Rose’s epic romance was actually a few days of pre-dating infatuation. At the same age, I also missed that the whole first act of Rent is just Christmas, pretty much. Which means that Angel and Collins go from zero to I’ll Cover you real, real fast. Of course there’s more immediacy when best cast scenario you’re about to get evicted and worse case scenario, you have AIDS, but for some reason I thought everyone knew each other longer.
Annddd we’re back. And in season two, no less! We’ve been going through some classic episodes of Cheers since the beginning of this year (you can find the rest here) and we’ve moved on to season two, in which Sam and Diane are finally together and the rest of the crew has to deal with it. This particular episode has a storyline that seemingly comes out of nowhere, but provides for quite an entertaining show. Here we go with Homicidal Ham!
Episode 2.04: Homicidal Ham
Originally aired: October 27, 1983
Netflix synopsis: Against Sam’s better judgement, Diane tries to help her former homicidal blind date, Andy, become an actor.
T: No matter how many times I read the episode title, I still picture a honeyglazed ham holding a knife. I’m sure this says something about my pscyhe.
M: I’ve been staring at the title in our post queue for weeks, and every single time I read Cheers Chats #4: Homicidal Ham as “Homicidal 4 Ham,” which I imagine would be a Hunger Games-y Hamilton lotto that a lot of people would be into.
Previously, on Cheers
(Brief synopsis of what happened prior to this episode)
T: Carla gave birth to her baby in the second episode, but instead of showing up as Carla, Rhea Perlman pulls a Tatiana Maslany and plays Carla’s sestra who seems like an uptight gal and totally opposite from her sibling. It was a fun ep. Also, Rhea Perlman was pregnant IRL in 1989, but I think by the time they shot season 2, she had her daughter already, so I think she’s wearing a fake belly for the first episode?
M: Also was the sister even the same one that Carla said “gets everything” because she was a cosmetologist and like 5’1?
One Hit Wonders
(Characters we don’t expect to be seeing again)
In full disclosure, this entire episode is based on a character I don’t think we’re ever going to see again. But who knows.
T: The ex-convict Sam paid to date Diane shows up at Cheers. He allegedly murdered a waitress? How is he an “ex-convict” if he murdered someone? Unless it’s just hearsay on the streets of Boston.
M: Wait, you’re right! If his conviction is on unsexy tax stuff or whatever, that doesn’t make him a waitress-murderer.
M: Maybe the world has changed a lot since the early 80s (OK, the world has changed a lot since 2 weeks ago and I need like 3 memes explained to me), but this plotline would maybe never fly now? Surely some sort of group would launch some kind of Twitter thing?
T: Yeah, this would definitely not go over well in 2016. Anti-gun groups, Pro-pig groups, Actors Equity Association…
So What Had Happened Was…
(Basic recap of the episode’s main plot)
T: Holy shit Andy is STILL crazy and pulls out a gun because he’s holding up this entire bar. This is v jarring to me, as I don’t expect a gun-wielding nutjob to be walking into America’s Favorite Bar™. Is this going to be an Orange is the New Black/Making a Murderer type of life lesson in this episode? This show keeps surprising me.
M: Yeah, definitely wouldn’t happen now, unless it was a Very Special Gun Episode like that Family Matters one where everyone turned in their guns. I feel like in the 80s a rando pulling a gun in a bar was still sort of a wacky tv plot, and from the sunny shores of 2016 we’re nodding along like ‘yeah, that IS a thing that sometimes happens in our public spaces. As you were, Cheers.”
T: He def wants to get caught because he hates life in the real world and has no skills wants to go back to prison. His dream is to become an actor. In fact, he sounds like an actor, which makes sense because this show isn’t real and he’s legit an actor. Diane agrees to help him become an actor by running lines with him, and sets him up with a potential job by having him audition for Fake James Lipton.
“Prison is my home.” Andy, who I’ve deemed Crazy Andy.
M: Doesn’t Crazy Andy have a creepy face? He has beady Ted Cruz eyes and emotes like a community theater actor.
T: Diane is friends with “America’s foremost drama coach” because of course she is. This dude has “contacts with every theater on the Cape.” As someone who worked at a theater in Boston, I am offended she’s not looking for a job for Crazy Andy within Boston proper.
M: I think maybe she’s trying to get him into summer stock. Anyway, I’m going to be a lot of not fun for a moment, but I left my last fuck behind in around 2013 and I don’t have any left to give.
IT IS NOT DIANE’S JOB TO SAVE CRAZY ANDY AND IT IS NOT ANY OF THE DIANES JOBS TO SAVE ANY OF THE CRAZY ANDYS OF THE WORLD.
I’m’a send Diane a copy of The Gift Of Fear from the future, and the writers a manual on how to write believable female characters who would have made it to their 30s (?) without getting serial killed, also from the future.
Okay we can have fun now.
T:
T: Diane’s mission to save Crazy Andy has turned into her being his acting sensei and she’s a) taking advantage of boyfriend Sam being her boss and just taking a break whenever and b) forgetting that 5 minutes ago she thought he was an insane killer and now she’s offering to go out alone with him to help him with scene work.
M: Diane = a less murderous Alison Hendrix, sometimes. Of course she loves amateur theatre.
T: Plot Twist – After spending time together running the Othello scene, Crazy Andy thinks Diane is into him romantically. He says I love you to her and she says it back, but clearly not in the same way he means it. Ruh roh.
M: Didn’t this happen in a Full House episode? Or some kind of 80s-90s family sitcom.
T: Or nearly all 80s-90s sitcoms.
T: So when Crazy Andy walks out in his Shakespearean garb and sees Diane kissing Sam, he has CRAZY EYES.
T: He’s using his anger towards Diane for the scene and surprise, surprise, his lines involve love, jealousy, and murder. I know it’s not going to happen but, sincerely concerned Crazy Andy is going to actually kill Diane during this scene and everyone’s going to think he’s just a really good actor. Spoiler alert: he doesn’t kill her.
Shut Up, Diane
(We just have a feeling we’re going to be saying Shut Up, Diane at our screens KIND OF A LOT.)
T: “He stands here as an embodiment of the failure of our penal system. This man doesn’t belong in prison. We, mostly I, can save this man’s life.” In regard to this quote, I actually don’t want Diane to shut up because she’s spitting the truth but stays humble at the same time.
M: Okay. I actually really hated what they did with Diane this episode. Someone waving a gun around for attention – even unloaded – may not need prison, but they probably need more help than Diane DeWitt-Bukater. Sam called the police and then Diane had him call the police back and tell them not to come which a) isn’t a thing police do; and b) is probably preventing a sorely needed mental hygiene hold.
“One murder does not a murderer make.” Diane? Shut up.
Little Ditty About Sam & Diane
T: Diane secretly carved her and Sam’s initials into the actual bar wood, because apparently she’s a 13 year old girl who likes to deface property. (ugh I’m old)
“If you want romantic, we should have our buns tattooed.” Sam, who is a reasonable adult and is annoyed Diane carved into his bar.
M: Which also doesn’t even feel like a Diane thing? Diane would calligraphy their names with an 18th century replica quill on recycled parchment, if anything.
The Luke Danes of 1980s Boston
(In which we gush over dreamy yet often grumpy bartender Sam Malone)
T: CA assures Sam his murder was a “terrible moment of temporary insanity”, and that he doesn’t hear the voices in his head anymore. SAM MALONE. DO NOT LET YOUR WOMAN GO TO A SECOND LOCATION WITH THIS MAN.
M: Sam is surprisingly cavalier about this Crazy Andy’s waitress-killing predilections. But since he’s Sam Malone, Dream Man I’m just going to focus on how he lets Diane live her life (stupidly) the way she wants to (which is like an idiot).
T: Sam apologizes for thinking Crazy Andy was still crazy – which is a sure sign he’s still right about this in the sitcom world. (otp)
T: “Yeah, sure she’s just gagging, Coach” SAM. LISTEN TO COACH. YOU ARE WATCHING YOUR GIRLFRIEND GET STRANGLED BY A MURDERER DRESSED IN ELIZABETHAN CLOTHING IN YOUR BAR RN.
Carla’s My Boo
T: After Crazy Andy pulls out his gun, Carla makes a run for it and is a freaking bad ass by grabbing his arms, and Sam takes the gun away while Coach takes the money back Crazy Andy attempted to steal. Beavis and Butt-Head (Norm and Cliff) take action 5 seconds later. Diane is…. who cares.
M: Carla’s first suggestion was that Diane run around flapping her arms to draw his fire. I feel you, boo boo.
T: During Crazy Andy and Diane’s “audition” in the bar, Carla sits in the front row and asks, “What time’s the second show?” with sandwich in hand.
M: Diane’s background work in this scene was the very definition of ‘giving me life.’
LLOL
(Literal Laugh Loud Loud moments from the episode)
When CA holds up his gun, these fools are *whispering* and trying to come with a plan to take Crazy Andy over, but they’re speaking at full volume.
M: I mostly LLOLed here because it felt like this was neither the first or the last time Carla has had someone waving a gun around at her.
T: This is brilliant- the barflies are deeply engrossed in the boxing match on TV and when it goes to commercial, Sam has already set up a conveyor belt of sorts for full glasses of beer. This is NOT what the real Cheers does. Or any bar does, for that matter. Norm goes up like four times.
T: Diane realizes she actually might die in a sec and tries to put off the scene, and when Sam tries to calm her down, she yells, “DON’T TOUCH ME, I BARELY KNOW YOU” as to not anger Crazy Andy more and oh my GOD I just think Shelley Long’s delivery is so perfect I am laughing so hard and had to watch it multiple times.
M: I rewound it too! To be clear, I sometimes don’t like how Diane is written, but Shelley Long is one of the best things to happen to this show or any show. She was killing it like Crazy Andy this whole ep. Too soon?
T: Cliff and Norm holding down CA after he chokes Diane is solid gold.
Are you going to be OK? – Sam
I’m having a little trouble breathing. – Diane
No, I meant for tonight. – Sam
OH MY GOD I LEGIT LOLED hahahaha you crazy horny kids
Say It Again, Sam
(Memorable lines from the episode. Not exclusively from Sam Malone.)
T: Carla comes back from maternity leave in this episode, and she’s pretending to still be pregnant because she says she’ll get better tips this way.
Coach is not advocating this, and says to Sam, “Maybe you should tell her to get rid of it.” To which Sam replies, “I can’t coach, she’s Catholic.” Abortion jokes, what a riot!
M: When Crazy Andy is choking her, Diane says “help, he’s trying to kill me” which Coach calls “the only line of Shakespeare I’ve ever understood.”
T: Coach, still problematic, legit tells Crazy Andy to not call him by his real name Ernie and says, “Please, call me Coach”, as he takes the money out of the register. You are being held hostage have some emotion.
“You know what they say, “Use a gun, go to Cape Cod.’” – Sam, basically ripping off motivational signs you find at Michaels
Cheers Queries
T: Why are they doing CA’s acting audition in the bar??
M: And where did they got these medieval costumes? I could see Diane going to Ren Faires sometimes TBH.
T: Is this episode titled Homicidal “Ham” because Crazy Andy is a first-class over actor??
M: Crazy Andy seems relatively young, so exactly how long was he in prison for killing that waitress?
T: Does this episode remind anyone else of the Saved by the Bell ep where they do Snow White and the Seven Dorks, and Kelly and Slater essentially sabotage the show because they think Zack and Jessie have a thing for each other after catching them kissing (as practice for the show)?
M: The hip-hop musical has come so far.
Barfly Fashion
Diane’s outfit looks more modern than usual?
Her hair wings also seem to be going a different way than they used to.
Crazy Andy in a 12 year old hardy boy’s outfit
Everyone in this picture
Diane in her RenFaire dress
The acting coach and his cane
Crazy Andy’s little league uniform
Sam looks exceptionally tall in these pants.
When I first saw it I thought “Sam should wear more blue,” so there’s a note for wardrobe, I guess.
Cookies + Sangria 