Well it’s here, everyone. Full House is back in the form of Fuller House, and you can revisit the entire Tanner clan right now! BTW, It’s apropos that Fuller House is debuting on a Friday, TGIF and all. We all remember FH being a staple of the TGIF lineup, especially in its heyday (if you want to read an in-depth article about TGIF, read this!). Although it moved up to the big leagues in Tuesday’s primetime programming in its later seasons, it will always have a place in our TGIF hearts. So in saying that, and with Fuller House premiering today, we’re using this Friday’s post to go back 21 years ago to 1995, when the series finale aired and we said goodbye to the Tanners. Before you check out the Netflix show, refresh your memz (just like Michelle in this ep) and see where we left off.
T: I’d like to start this out by saying Full House is ironically not available on Netflix. It used to be, but not anymore. It would’ve been smart to keep the rights to it leading up to Fuller House, but hey, I don’t work there (although how great would that be).
M: Who would have thought I’d be scouring the internet for a bootleg version of the FULL HOUSE FINALE on the day the ‘sequel’ premiered on Netflix? Well, surely not me in 1995. 
M: Specific memory of the Full House finale: it aired the night of my third grade piano recital. We had to tape it (stick THAT in your nostalgic 90s tumblr, kids who weren’t born yet). You always worried that the timer on the tape wouldn’t work, because a lot of times it didn’t. There are photos of me posing in what I thought was a very stylish white dress with a lace overlay, but which really looked like Victorian underwear. And in all of the photos, you can SEE how antsy I am to get home.
T: My relationship with Full House is probably very similar to Molly’s, in that I watched the episodes live as they were airing, but I’d also watch reruns as well. Since the repeats would air in chronological order, I always knew when it got to the episode about DJ’s prom and Michelle’s horse riding competition, there would be some tears and we’d start the entire cycle over again. It’s also a marker for where I was personally in my life, since the Olsen twins were born a six months after me, and two months before Molly.
M: TO THIS DAY my brothers will remind me of how much the Olsens accomplished before me.
To Traci’s point, I’d always get a little sad during this episode in the rerun cycle, not just because it was a bummer, but also because it meant we were returning to season 1. I love the early years now, but they were kind of less interesting to me as a kid. Not enough Michelle. Thing nobody says about millennials: we had an insatiable appetite for Michelle Elizabeth Tanner in 1990-1995.
“Of course I haven’t bought the batteries yet.” Gibbler, on her prom dress.
T: Deej is kind of jeal that Gibbler has a dress AND a date to prom, whereas she just has a bag of chips and a remote control. It’s moments like this when I realize just how much of an adult I am – I’d take chips and TV over prom any day.
M: Yeah, Deej is having a great Friday, by my calculations. Also she spent her senior year dating Nelson AND Viper, and junior year dating Steve. D.J.’s doing just fine.
T: Also I love how peak 90s we are with this episode. In 1995, we were in 4th grade, and that’s just old enough to remember our lives at this time. Deej’s bob hair flipped out at the bottom is SO 90s.
T: “Look at your fence and give your pony enough time to see that fence.” Michelle’s horse trainer GIVING HER THIS ADVICE TOO LATE *spoiler alert?*
M: Is it just me, or is Michelle jumping way too far into this (no pun intended)? It’s like she went from zero to Mallory Pike in one episode. I’m sure she should be trotting around a circle.
T: Ugh remember the 90s tho
T: Is it me or is this laugh track even more prominent??? Becky made a horrible joke about Michelle’s riding outfit and all I could hear was canned chortles.
M: “Riding hat, riding clothes, riding boots. Wild guess, you were riding?” BECKY. Why you gotta sass Michelle? New head canon: Becky hates Michelle. Can’t blame her.
T: Stephanie/Jodie Sweetin’s final storyline on Full House is about her having dry lips. CAN U IMAGINE ENDING SEVEN YEARS OF YOUR LIFE ON A TV SHOW AND THE LAST PLOT YOU HAVE TO WORK WITH IS ABOUT NEEDING TO MOISTURIZE YOUR SKIN
M: Why did so many men in 90s sitcoms sit backwards on their chairs? Jesse, A.C. Slater… is that at all comfortable? BTW Becky is wearing some sort of bizarre sweat-outfit.
T: I can’t remember the last time I watched this episode or a full ep of FH in general, but I do not remember the jokes being so corny, which is funny considering I thought the jokes in the trailer for Fuller House were also v corny. A+ for continuity.
T: Gibbler brings Deej IRL Tinder by “raiding a Star Trek convention” of all nerds for her to choose from for the prom. I love that Kimmy was like, ‘OK you 6 boys follow me to DJ Tanner’s house for the possibility of going to prom with her OR total rejection!” Also Gibbler needs to bring the van of nerds back for “their allergy shots”, because having allergies is correlated to being a geek?
M: In 90s sitcoms, I seem to remember that specifically allergies and nosebleeds were geek traits. I was so mortified by my – you guessed it – severe seasonal allergies and chronic nosebleeds. Whomp-whomp.
T: Okay, I guess I’ve seen this episode enough to remember the punch line to one of these jokes, ‘Have any of you ever been to a dance… with a woman… who wasn’t in your family?’. Just said that outloud to myself.
M: I’d like to point out that the far left nerd isn’t even ugly, just wearing weird brown old man clothes.
THIS BITCH:
The girl who plays Elizabeth, the fellow rider that tells Michelle about the jumping contest, her real name is Ebick Pizzadili which is either the name of a pizza shop in Brooklyn or an Italian pop star.
M: I bet she got that a lot as a kid? But it is very fun to say. Tried to look up the name Ebick – thinking it was Turkish or Bosnian. All Google is giving me is this girl from Full House. Anyway, she does a good job.
T: ‘Oh camera and a saddle – big date tonight?’ Steph coming in with a burn for Danny
M: The audience “whoooos” when Michelle enters wearing a riding outfit, which doesn’t really seem warranted but fine.
T: Steph says, ‘If we gave you a lantern, you could stand out on the front lawn!’ A) never realized this was a lawn jockey joke. B) They don’t have a front lawn.
T: JJ Pryor!!! I always forget he’s in this. American Dreams, anyone? He also has max 90s boy crush hair ::emoji w heart eyes::
M: There are so many sitcom plots about performing in Romeo and Juliet, or there were in the 90s anyway, but do any teachers really force two random classmates to kiss for an assignment? I thought regular group work was bad.
T: Michelle’s overalls/scrunchie combo – another peak 90s move. Also HAVE MERCY, UNCLE JESSE.
M: That scrunchie is HUGE. I’d have been jealous.
T: I legitimately LOL when Joey tells Jesse to throw another pillow on the couch so he can jump into it from the balcony and Jesse makes it a point to cautiously (and sarcastically) put a small pillow down on the couch.
M: FH was really committed to the ‘very special concussion episode’ idea, one way or the other.
Looking at Nicky and Alex, I’m SO relieved that I never got that 80s/90s kid haircut where the hair forms like a diagonal from the bangs to the back.
T: “Riding used to be fun.” “Yeah before parents got involved.” deep.
M: Hahaha so Michelle and Rich Elizabeth decide to skip the pricey competition Michelle said she wanted, saddle up their own horses, mount them with no help and ride off into the woods? This is why more rich people die in extravagant acts of stupidity than normal people.
T: Why are these cups so 90s, like why don’t they make them anyone???
M: Let’s all have a look at that dope relaxed dad behind Danny, to your left.
T: “You know, I never thought I’d get a chance to say this, but – ‘They went that’a way’” honestly one of the lines that sticks out to me from this entire series. Why? IDK. (sidenote: this cowboy is dead IRL. RIP.)
M: Donkey named Milton Burro = joke that went over my 8-year-old head.
T: You know, why did Michelle enter a jumping competition when her horse can’t jump a log? Or is this a horse thing where it’s trained to jump white gates and not wild logs?
M: Ahem. I was trained to jump man-made objects, what is this abomination? – Michelle’s stupid horse.
T: Also Joey runs over to an unconscious Michelle (after getting off his donkey) and yells, ‘Oh my gosh!’. Um, ok. ALSO ALSO, his hand is on Jesse’s knee… unnecessarily?
M: Oh… feels pretty necessary.
T: And instead of getting help (calling 911) they just sit there and stare at each other. COME ON FOLKS, TIME IS PRECIOUS.
::End of ACT 1::
In the version I’m watching, they just showed a “next time on Full House” which I’ve never seen before and that is v weird to me, since the repeats I watch never include the teasers!
T: Michelle doesn’t know who Danny is – honestly the doctor didn’t tell them this before they got into the room? Like a heads up that she might be suffering from memory loss? I’ve seen most of ER and all of Grey’s Anatomy, I should know (they probably did this for story/budgetary reasons).
M: Also, is this even a normal type of amnesia to have? I feel like usually people will forget the accident and maybe the time around it, not their entire life?
T: “Wow if that’s the pizza guy, he really does deliver!” – DJ to Steph and what’s his name kissing in the kitchen
T: Duane!! Whatever. Then he busts out a Shakespeare monologue because of course he’s a secret genius. Whoa the actor who plays Duane has an impressive career – he does a lot of voice over work, including Frozen, Despicable Me aND THE VOICE OF JOEY MACINTYRE ON THE NEW KIDS ON THE BLOCK ANIMATED SERIES
M: He was actually really good at playing Duane, if that makes sense! Like that one dopey skater-y guy who would eat lunch on the grassy knoll at Bronson Alcott High, if you will.
“We all live in this house”
“Oh I hope it’s bigger than it looks from the outside.”
T: Joey brings out Mr. Woodchuck to help Michelle jog her memory, which I guess is a good tactic but also, she’s probably thinking WTF what is this family I’m supposedly a member of? Also Mary-Kate (Ashley?) does a good job of acting in this scene, after questioning why Mr. Woodchuck keeps talking about “wood”. Joey says it’s “the bit they do, remember?” and Michelle says with uncertainty and a hint of shade, “Oh. Clever.”
M: Probs the same Olsen who played the haughty one in It Takes Too. Some real chops there.
T: In fact, whichever twin is playing the memory-loss Michelle is spot on, and proving they can play something other than always upbeat and happy (or a little sassier in the later seasons). The casting folks really lucked out with the Olsen twins.
M: We all did, Traci. America did.
T: LOL at the trio of men sneaking in one last harmonizing version of Teddy Bear before the series ends.
M: Cool but when are they going to do Forever?
T: Oh GOD THIS SCENE:
Michelle: You’re my dad, right? So where’s my mom?
*cut to everyone looking panicked and forlorn*
Danny: I’m sorry but your mom died when you were just a little girl.
Michelle: So even if I do get better, I won’t remember her?
Joey: Michelle, we’ll tell you everything about her you’d want to know.
Michelle: Was she pretty?
Jesse: Oh yeah Michelle she was very pretty. See, Michelle, your mommy was my sister and you know what, you look just like her.
Michelle: I know you all want me to remember but I can’t I’m sorry.
Danny: Don’t worry about it honey, it’s fine.
Michelle: It’s not fine. I don’t know who I am. I’m just gonna lie down in my own bed.
*Michelle goes to lie in Stephanie’s bed*
Stephanie: Uh Michelle, that’s –
Becky: Steph it’s probably not a good time.
M: Say what you will about Full House being poorly written – it often was – but when they remember to mention Pam they actually do a good job of it, especially in the first few years.
T: Ugh Jesse and Michelle are sharing a tender moment and I’m really getting emotional here, guys. They had such a special relationship on the show and it’s bumming me out she can’t remember a damn thing.
T: I forgot about this side plot of Jesse telling Joey how much he loves being a dad and how he can’t wait for Joey to feel the same, saying ‘it’ll happen one day for ya, pal’. — honestly they should’ve given Joey a love interest that stuck around. I hope he’s got a gal in Fuller House.
M: As it is, this scene feels like when your married friends tell you that you’ll LOVE being married one day, or your friends with kids tell you you’d be a great parent: yeah, I know, you are not helping.
T: Danny pulls out a photo album to help jog Michelle’s memory and this pic is legit like a promo pic from the episode, because who would be taking this shot otherwise? Joey??
T: Another vivid memory I have of this episode: Michelle goes to give Danny a hug because “I thought that’s what you did in this house when you leave the room.”
M: Me too!
T: I REMEMBER THIS RHYME – I REMEMBER IT ALL (like i remembered that whole rhyme)
T: I still don’t understand – Mary-Kate/Ashley shows up to confront Mary-Kate/Ashley and was all JK I’ve been here I just took a while you can have your memory back LOL and all of a sudden she’s healed??
M: Is she hallucinating now? Girlfriend should have had some brain imaging.
T: Also, I just had a flash of Tatiana Maslany filming her scenes for Orphan Black over and over again as different sestras. MK + A had it so easy.
M: Now I’m reimagining the dual Michelle scenes – angel/devil Michelle, Greek/American Michelle – if a tiny Tatiana Maslany had played them instead. Right age, too. Full House could have gone a lot deeper.
T: Danny’s saying ‘Come to Poppa’ as Deej comes down the stairs in her prom dress so she works the camera. I’m uncomfy.
RIGBY THE RHINO SIGHTING. CONTINUITY.
T: WHY DO I ALSO KNOW ALL THE ANSWERS TO MICHELLE’S MEMORY QUIZ BUT I CAN’T REMEMBER WHAT I DID LAST FRIDAY
M: Did I do anything last Friday? But yeah, Mr. GoodPart.
T: Gibbler’s dress. Actually not as eccentric as some of the other shit’s she’s worn on this show
M: Usually fewer lights.
T: Guys, I know what’s about to happen with Deej’s date but I’M STILL SO EXCITED TO SEE IT
T: What happened to Steve? He went to college and they broke up? But he shows up to DJ’s prom and they’re back together?
M: Does he need a ticket? Do they need waivers to bring people from outside the school? Should somebody get Steve a snack? He’s probably hungry.
T: WHY AM I CRYING RN (cry w me, pls)
Jesse: You were pretty out of it. I mean you were here, sweetheart, but it was like a part of you was missing. So it was like a part of us was missing. But we stuck it out and we got through it.
Joey/AND ME AT THE SAME TIME: Just like we always do.
Danny: Just like we always will.
Closing shot: Everyone is hugging except JOEY.
M: Moments later, Joey’s hand creeps over to Jesse’s knee, probably.
T: Even the music on the closing credits I know by heart. It’s embedded in my brain.
and the final bows to make you cry:
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Cookies + Sangria 