Gilmore Girls Revival Town Meeting: The Last 4 Words, Full Freakin Circle

It’s been a long journey for all of us – from watching the first Gilmore Girls episodes as Rory-aged teenagers, to crying and also puzzling over the finale, to rewatching the entire series on Netflix, attending the reunion, hoping against hope for a revival and seeing our wish granted. Our reluctance to watch what well may be the FINAL episode of Gilmore Girls was tempered by two things: how grateful we were to get A Year In The Life to begin with, and our curiosity about the plot point hanging over our heads for nearly a decade: the last four words.

M: I was so excited/nervous/sad about beginning Fall that I procrastinated for about a half hour before watching it – to the extent that I brought boxes up to my attic at night time. This goes to the way we ended up watching the show versus how we would have liked to. I watched one episode Friday, one Saturday and two Sunday. I would have preferred to watch one every several days or even one every week or two to really drag out the experience. I’m good at waiting for things and like to have positive experiences ahead of me instead of behind me. However, I’m also a person who reads the internet and we had to go into self-imposed social media exile while watching Gilmore Girls: A Year In The Life. Even news sites weren’t safe. With every day that passed it became more and more likely that I would stumble upon a major plot point or the last four words without meaning to. Ultimately it was more important for me to experience everything for the first time through the show instead of some tweet than it was to watch the show at my own pace. (Also: there’s a spoiler protocol with regular television, including the expectation that you enter Twitter at your own risk for a show that people live-Tweet. It’s not so clear for content that becomes available a full season at a time.)

T: Meanwhile in LA… It is 11:52pm on Sunday night and I am starting now because i’ve been putting off as late as I can before heading back into the real world. The feeling of pressing play is similar to that of when I watched the series finale in 2007 – eager to find out what happens, but also sick to my stomach knowing this could be the last time we visit Stars Hollow. For good.

I will say that I’m proud of myself for avoiding all spoilers the entire weekend. I stayed off pretty much all of the Internet except our blog and my personal Tumblr. My friend texted me to let me know Fidel Castro died. I wouldn’t have found that out until Monday.

T: I’m not sure why, but for the first time since starting the revival, I felt a sense of normality that I was watching Gilmore Girls in 2016. In particular, it was the motel scene where Lorelai calls Luke, which isn’t anything special besides a woman leaving a voicemail for her boyfriend. I guess it was all finally just starting to sink in. Just in time for the last episode!

M: Lorelai is at a very crowded entry to the PCT, where women inspired by Cheryl Strayed ask each other “book or movie?” and trade origin stories (divorce and dead parent are popular inspirations).

T: I loved this storyline – it felt so very ASP to me. She’s the only female writer that would think to herself, “I wonder if the amount of women going on the Wild hike has increased ever since the book came out? Did it spike when Reese Witherspoon threw her boot? Lorelai would be great there. And by great, I mean horrible.”

M: Our girl Stacey (Oristano, Friday Night Lights, Bunheads) is on the trail!  I love when ASP universes collide. Pssst – Bunheads: A Year In The Life 2017?
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T: I’ve heard from a few people that they didn’t like the cameos throughout AYITL, but I, for one, loved every single cameo. It would be annoying to me if they had Julia Roberts pop in as a guest at the Dragonfly, because she has no ties to the show (that I know of). However, when you have people like the Gilmore Guys or Jason Mantzoukas or Bunheads alums, it has more of a specialness (?) to it, and doesn’t feel like they’re doing it to get “ratings”. It feels like a family – a big ASP/Lauren Graham family. That being said, here is my reaction to Park Ranger #1:
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HOLY SHIT JASON RITTER I JUST GASPED SO LOUD AND HAD TO BEND OVER TO BREATHE. DID I MENTION IM STANDINGG DIRECTLY IN FRONT OF MY TV I CANNOT BELIEVE I AM WITNESSING MARK CYR IN A SCENE W LORELAI GILMORE

*chill out, bruh*

M: Welcome to the wild world of the new, improved Luke’s, complete with takeout and WiFi that customers have the password for. It’s not really Luke’s thing, and he unplugs the WiFi.

T: Any time Milo comes on my screen (here or otherwise), I swoon. No different here when he walks into Luke’s, only to find that his uncle is a literal mess without Lor. He came out of the back room covered in flour like a character from I Love Lucy because he can’t focus on anything but Lorelai not being there.*I wrote that Lucy thing before Jess mentioned Lucy Ricardo*

M: Poor guy is worried Lorelai is leaving him, but I have faith this show wouldn’t do that to us – he just doesn’t know it’s the last episode, that’s all.

Luke attempting to explain why Lorelai went on Wild: This is after we… uh… Between us it’s been… like …
Jess: Communication problems?
Luke: Exactly!
Jess: Never experienced that myself.

T: CLUTCHING MY HEART AFTER JESS SUGGESTS LOR IS LEAVING HIM AND LUKE REALIZES IT MIGHT BE TRUE. A+++ ACTING FROM SCOTT!! Also, I just love that Luke can go to Jess for advice on his life now. JESS. The kid who was a part-time magician, stole gnomes and as a “prank” drew a chalk outline of a body outside Doose’s. Is now the wise font of knowledge for both Luke AND Rory.

M: These ladies are totally Troop Beverly Hills-ing it, staying at motels and sitting around the fire with Franzia. And yes, I DID say Troop Beverly Hills-ing it because I don’t like the word glamping.

Woman at motel campfire on her contraband item and who is now my favorite tertiary character: “I brought a ham… I almost did Eat Pray Love but my miles were blacked out… I brought Snackwells and Vitatops for dessert.”

M: There go my hopes that Rory swooped in and revitalized the Stars Hollow Gazette.

T: Having watched a behind the scenes featurette and seen various BTS shots from cast members, I knew Logan & the Life & Death Brigade we’re going to be wearing some sort of steampunk outfits in Fall. I assumed it was Halloween. Now here we are, not Halloween, and I just said out loud, without any idea what’s about to happen, “This can’t be it. Are you fucking kidding me?”

M: In Omnia Paratus! I somehow didn’t expect the Life and Death Brigade to make an appearance (I was so spoiler-averse that I didn’t watch the trailers or listen to interviews with the cast). They’re still some wealthy steampunk weirdos.

T: All of a sudden this has turned into a Halloween episode of Pretty Little Liars. The bird is talking and a man on a unicycle going down the empty street. Earlier, Petal the pig jogged by with a sandwich board attached to her and Rory’s Gazette computer somehow got hacked into. Now at night, no one is around for all this fog and mystery – did Logan pay off all the SH citizens to not be in the town square??

T: LOGAN. APPEARS OUT OF NOWHERE. AND I HAD TO TURN AWAY AND SAY YOU LOOK LIKE AN IDIOT.

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T: So the following is my immediate stream of consciousness reaction that I typed into my phone while watching the entire LDB scene: “WHAT THE FUCK IS THIS I DONT THINK I LIKE THIS IS THIS SUPPOSED TO BE LIKE A SCENE FROM A MOVIE?? THEY STILL SEEM LIKE RICH PRETENTIOUS ASSHATS UGH NOW THEYRE IN A DANCE CLUB w some SYTYCD alums THIS BETTER HAVE A POINT LOGAN OFFERS HIS FAMILY HOUSE IN MAINE FOR RORY TO WRITE HER BOOK WHY ARE YOU DOING THIS ARE YOU STILL W ODETTE THIS IS RUDE Colin just bought this club. and said “money is great” I HATE IT SO MUCH. THEY HAVENT CHANGED A BIT. IS THAT THE POINT ??? I CANT STOP SAYING UGH”
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Obviously we’re a few days removed from watching this for the first time, and while I’ve calmed down a bit, I just watched it for a second time and I still don’t like it. It’s so different cinematically than the rest of the episodes/series that it threw me off. And apparently it IS from a movie, Across the Universe, which this version of the Beatles’ classic is taken from. I’ve never seen it, but apparently this scene features a “privileged and rebellious student” at Princeton. Which makes sense because Logan is exactly that. BUT HE’S NOT IN COLLEGE ANYMORE. Like do they meet up and do some elaborate adventure like this every year? Do the other LDB members see Rory often? I didn’t think they were close enough that she would keep in touch to know Colin had knee surgery? Have they not matured?

M: “No hard feelings” about Logan’s girlfriend moving in with him – but will his arrangement with Rory continue? He gives Rory a key to his family’s house in Maine so she can write her book there, so I guess that answers that. Along with the rest of the brigade, they stay at an inn in New Hampshire that’s mostly made out of plaid and hunter green and prints of hounds.

T: Turns out she realizes she can’t write her book at Logan’s extra Maine mansion so she gives him the key back. She officially says goodbye to the LDB and Logan, who puts the hat back on her and puts his hands out to frame her face, as if he’s taking one last picture to remind him of his lost love. All of this is VERY annoying to me and I do not like.
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HOWEVER, in addition to the whole Across the Universe thing being lost on me, so was the even more apparent parallel to the Wizard of Oz, in which Rory is Dorothy, Logan is the Wizard, and the LDB are the Tinman, Cowardly Lion and Scarecrow. Matt gave a great interview over at AOL Build about AYITL and this allegory, and after watching this clip of Dorothy’s goodbyes, I feel dumb not putting that together in the first place. Molly on the other hand..

M: Rory says goodbye to the Life and Death Brigade as though she’s Dorothy Gale. Little sight gag where a brigadier pulls out a raw steak from nowhere to put on his eye.

T: SECOND GASP HOLY CRAP ARE YOU KIDDING ME PETER KRAUSE ARE WE GOING TO SEE RAY ROMANO NEXT?!?!??! THIS IS MY WHOLE HEART!! Also, how great must it have been for Peter to act opposite his girlfriend in the role that is such a large part of her career? Plus the scene was so great that it made up for all the crap with Rory.

Lorelai: What’s your name? Park Ranger #2: Park Ranger Lorelai: Right, Park.

M: Lorelai calls Emily and tells her that on her 13th birthday she left school after some boy was terrible and ran away to the mall when, improbably, Richard was there. He bought her a pretzel and took her to the movies and covered for her. I’m sad not just because of Richard, but Edward Hermann too. I’m sure his loss made these scenes more real for the actors, but also so much harder to get through.

T: There are a few standout scenes from the revival that are officially my favorites out of the ENTIRE series, and Lorelai calling Emily on the phone to tell her about the memory is one of them. The story itself was perfect, and painted a picture of Richard with Lorelai that we had never seen before. There’s one moment in season 1 when Richard catches Lor climbing out her bedroom window, and he lets her leave, and she says, “Thanks, Daddy”. It was the only other time I can remember that they had an honest moment. The fact that Lorelai was able to tell this story to Emily for the first time – with no sarcasm, no wit, just honesty and earnest grief, was the resolve I wanted to see between these two in the revival. Also, like Molly said, Lauren’s emotion for losing Ed came through in her performance, which was… just please give her awards for this, people. Give her all the awards.

M: Lorelai comes back and explains her epiphany to Luke. Also that “in another life, I WAS coffee.” Girl, same. He thinks she’s breaking up with him and makes a speech about it. But no. She wants to get married. Awwwwwwww. Sorry for all the W’s. I am a living crying emoji and Lauren Graham is absolutely crushing it.

(As an aside, I never dreamt of getting proposed to, and it’s wonderful to see, for once once, a more pragmatic discussion – with the female character raising the topic no less! –  presented as a romantic option instead of as some kind of a statement. There’s nothing wrong with a traditional proposal if that’s what you want, but the alternative isn’t usually shown or discussed in tv and film.)

T: Remember in Summer when I said I loved Ranting Luke™? And remember how Luke and Lorelai are my OTP of ALL TIME? And remember how I said the revival has some of my all-time fave scenes? THIS IS NOW ONE OF THEM. Luke, who couldn’t function as a human without the love of his life, realized he had to let it all out there in order to keep Lor as his partner, and ranting is the best way he knows how. He mentioned fighting for her and that’s legit all she wanted in season six when they broke up the second time. He’s a changed man and this moment changed his life. And just like Lauren was transcendent in that last scene on the phone with Emily, I think Scott did his best work ever in this, perfectly encapsulating frustration, fear, anger, and love for Lorelai all in one speech.

*You need the space, and I need you.*

M: Rory wanders through Emily’s house visualizing scenes from her past as my favorite version of the La Las plays. See? Told you she’s having her Jo March moment.

T: Anytime holograms are used I get nervous, but this worked perfectly. And the fact that she sat down at Richard’s desk to start writing – continue to cry all the tears.

M: Lorelai is looking for a new property to expand the Dragonfly. In my dreams, Emily would offer her the family house to use. Yes, I’m clearly thinking of Aunt March and Plumfield. Jo March, OK.

T: Lor finds that new property in what used to be a convent occupied by poker-playing nuns. They commented that “Katy Perry was snooping around here earlier,” which seems ridiculous but was a REAL THING. Currently is a thing – she wants to buy a convent in the Los Feliz neighborhood of L.A., but there are a bunch of legalities to tend to and she still hasn’t been cleared to buy it. *The more you know*.

M: I thought everybody know that but that just shows how weirdly invested I am in bizarre pop culture stories, esp. if nuns are involved.

M: Ice cream. Coffee. Red Vines. Pop Tarts. Chinese takeout. You can always count on the Gilmore kitchen.

T: And I also loved the fact that they didn’t speak at all while collecting all those items. It was second nature to them. Reminds me of one of my favorite cold opens in season five, when both of them are silently watching their Roombas go around sucking up dirt in their respective abodes.

M: Rory wrote The Gilmore Girls! JO MARCH. She says Lorelai can read the chapters she wrote, give her an opinion, and she won’t publish if Lorelai doesn’t approve.

T: At this point, I am pleading with my TV to not let “The Gilmore Girls” become a meta thing where at the end we find out this entire series has actually just been Rory’s book brought to life. I did NOT want a meta ending. I am not here for that.

M: Traci, maybe you can summarize Emily’s IDGAF shutdown of the DAR ladies? My jaw is still on the floor. I love New Emily so much.

T: When it was revealed that the revival was going to be airing on Netflix, one of the things that I thought about was the fact that since the show isn’t on network cable anymore, ASP & Dan can get away with edgier dialogue and swearing without penalty. I had hoped GG would keep the same “family friendly” tone as it had on the WB/CW, and overall it did just that. But like Breaking Bad could only use one “fuck” per season, they used it wisely and in the most necessary of circumstances (Hank: “My name is ASAC Schrader and you can go fuck yourself”). I didn’t need Lorelai to yell ‘asshole’ or ‘shit’ – although she almost did in Winter – as a throwaway. Which is why Emily’s scene at the DAR made it that much more special. They used their “fuck”. Actually, they used their “bullshit” on the queen that is Emily Gilmore, and she made it count.

Now that Emily doesn’t have her partner that was by her side at all the WASPy events, she’s finally realized that all this vetting and judging for the DAR is frivolous and not what she wants to continue doing in this new phase in her life. So she calls them out. Emily is unhinged and has nothing to lose since she’s already lost Richard. Exclaiming that all of these shananigans are bullshit will just be a blip 0n her radar moving forward, but I have a feeling it will stay with the rest of the DAR ladies forever.

M: Wedding planning: Luke knows Kiefer Sutherland (the real one) well enough to invite him to the wedding and never mentioned it to Lorelai. From any other show and character this would be ridiculous, but yep, sounds like Luke.

T: Miss Celine is back! The last time we saw her, she was fitting Emily for her vow renewal with Richard, and asked Lor/Natalie Wood if she ever thought about getting married one day. And now here we are. Also, I can’t get over how stinkin’ cute LG is with this high pony and “exercising” with soda cans! And that Lucas is just sitting there watching her do it!! ❤

M: Rory goes to Christopher’s office after confirming a meeting at 3 over the phone (or confirming something with someone at 3 over the phone. We’ll talk later). They exchange pleasantries about Gigi and his job, but Rory is pacing around not even drinking her coffee and it’s clear she’s about to have a difficult conversation. She tells Christopher that she’s writing about about her and her mom. She asks “how did you feel about mom raising me alone?” He answers that it was “in the cards” and he knew that nobody was getting between Rory and Lorelai. Rory asks if that means Lorelai pushed Christopher away, which he denies. Her real question, though, is if Christopher thinks it was the right decision that Lorelai raised Rory alone. “It was exactly what was supposed to happen.”
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M: I never liked Christopher much, and his non-reaction when Rory asks how she felt about Lorelai raising her alone, as though he never thought about any other option, is more or less why. Still, he’s right that it was the best case scenario. Lorelai did an amazing job and Christopher is just a blah guy with a nice office.

T: I was always indifferent on Christopher – I knew he wasn’t the right guy to be Lorelai’s romantic interest, but also knew he had a special connection with her that Luke could never have. In saying that, I’m just glad that we finally got some closure on Christopher (who continues to be a smokeshow), as in an update on both his personal life and knowing that he’s made peace with Lorelai’s decision 32 years ago, so we, as viewers should too. Also, I love that he still calls her “kiddo”.

M: Emily bought a house in Nantucket and is selling the family home. Meanwhile, Lorelai found a building to expand the Dragonfly and wants to use Luke’s franchise money. Emily’s fine with it – it REALLY isn’t Luke’s dream after all – but in classic Emily fashion her offer of help is contingent on visits from Lorelai.

Emily: The previous owners called it the ‘Clam Shack’. I guess ‘Vagina House’ was taken.

M: Rory has a sweet run-in with Dean, father of 3 and soon 4. She has nice things to say about him in the book – she wishes she met him when she was older, and he “taught me what safe feels like.” In that moment, where he is clearly taken and not going to be involved with Rory, I really like Dean – and I was never big on Dean. Like we said in our Spring discussion, the revival shows all of Rory’s exes in a positive light (or, as positive a light as Rory anyway – ahem, Logan) so that no big fans of one character are totally screwed over, but the story doesn’t suffer either. I didn’t think Dean was right for Rory, but maybe she’s onto something about them being at different places in their lives when they met.

T: I was never on board with Dean. Sure, he made a car for Rory, but when he did what he did in 4.22 with Candyman playing and shortly left to go back home to his pot roast-making wife, I thought he was trash. But this scene is one of the best closure scenes in all of the revival – certainly, IMO, of the three boyfriends. First off, they’re in the same aisle where he kissed her for the first time. Second, that moment where Rory starts comforting Dean to let him know that his little sister Clara will get over her boyfriend who calls her ‘Ra’ because “she’s young. It’s her first love. It’ll probably be…” is so well executed. I loved every single bit of this interaction down to the corn starch. It made me like Dean again. #RedemptionForDean! #ReDEANtion! No? Ok.

M: Because ASP and co are pulling out all the stops for the final episode, Sookie is back and she’s making Lorelai’s wedding cake. It’s so strange but so comfortable seeing Melissa McCarthy in Sookie gear once again.

T: I’m glad we got at least one long scene with Melissa, because of COURSE she would come back for Lor’s wedding and make her cake. That’s all she wanted to do when they were originally engaged. The woman is such a Luke/Lor shipper she just wrote the word LUKE on the side of one of the cakes! And another had daisies (1,000 yellow daisies!?). Also, her interaction with Michel. Gold.
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M: Emily lives in Nantucket in a house with sisal rugs and overstuffed, slipcovered furniture, teaching kids at a whaling museum and wearing white sneakers. I love this development.

T: Back at the Gilmore house, Jess is casually reading in a corner AND CONTINUES TO BE A SMOKESHOW, while LG is sporting overalls and looking like a crafty HGTV goddess. Also, another one of my favorite jokes gets a callback:

T: Rory is super excited about the book, now titled “Gilmore Girls” since Lor told her to drop the “The” since it’s cleaner (I need this to stop being so meta), and she catches Jess before he leaves and jumps up and down in excitement with the dude whose idea it was to write the book in the first place. Luke asks, “You’re over that, right?” To which Jess responds, “Yup. Long over.” Then stares through the window while Rory puts a hot towel on Kirk’s head. Now, Jess/Rory shippers say this obviously means he’s still in love with her. As a Team Jess person, but ultimately Team Rory/Team No Team, I really don’t want to believe this is true. They’re intellectual equals and seemingly each others’ confidants and moral support system, just not romantic lovers. I posited that ASP told Milo to play the look a few different ways and she picked the best one she felt was right for the story while editing. But I guess we may never know.

M: Luke and Lorelai both have flash mobs planned for the wedding. Lorelai says she feels like they should be married already. That’s what we’ve all been saying. They head off and elope so that their real marriage takes place before their wedding. It’s so THEM.

T: I’ve been reblogging from a blog called lukeloveslorelai.tumblr.com. I think I need help.

M: OH MY GOD. The song from their dance plays as they head off to get married. It’s magical and I cannot stop crying. Then they show Emily looking at Richard’s portrait and I manage to find even more tears. Rory walks Lorelai down the aisle. Michel and Lane are witnesses. Was there ever a priest in town before? IDK I don’t care about him. The town is all lit up and they get married in the gazebo. This whole scene was completely perfect and shows that sometimes giving the audience what they want is exactly the right thing to do. This was worth waiting 10 years for.

T: The second the first couple notes of Sam Phillips’ Reflecting Light starts playing, I have to pause yet again because I feel like I am truly going to pass out. Cause of death: OTP finally getting married. It looked like she had been crying for three days straight and clutched a Luke’s Diner coffee mug to her heart. THAT’S HOW I’M GOING DOWN FOLKS. IT WAS ALL SO PERFECT, I AM AT A LOSS FOR WORDS.

M: The next day Rory and Lorelai sit at the gazebo talking about the wedding. Paul breakup texts Rory, and Lorelai assures her that she and Paul will both find someone, but he just didn’t fit. Rory pauses because “I want to remember it all. Every detail.” And then:

Rory: Mom?
Lorelai: Yeah?
Rory: I’m pregnant.

M: WOW. Wow wow wow. I was not expecting that at all. I was SO not expecting that that I had to go back and count out the last 4 words because I couldn’t figure out how there were 4 words in there. I had it in my head that maybe Lorelai would be having one of those surprise menopause pregnancies that TV loves so much, but it never occurred to me that Rory would be. I immediately wanted to go back to rewatch the episode – particularly Rory’s conversation with Christopher. In hindsight, she was almost certainly feeling out how a father felt about the mother of his child raising the kid alone – Rory knew she was pregnant and that she was going to be a single parent like Lorelai was. Our friend Tori pointed out that the phone call right before she goes to Christopher’s could easily be setting up a doctor’s appointment, not a meeting with him.

T: My actual reaction after she said I’m pregnant: 

Then I realized that may have been a bit overdramatic. The thing is that we’ve known Amy’s had these 4 words planned for 9 years. That’s a long time to come up with combos of any words in the entire world. It wasn’t until over the past few years that I acknowledged anything having to do with pregnancy could be possible, but I was kind of hoping I’d be wrong. Maybe that’s why I yelled ‘No’? After processing it for a few days, I’ve decided I’m fine with it. I love a good full circle moment, which this clearly is. But also maybe my frustration came from the fact that the final four words became THE FINAL FOUR WORDS, in a way they were never supposed to be. It became so hyped up that we had so much expectation for it that when they were finally said, I was less enthused about them. Maybe I was more reacting to the fact that GG is over? IDK.

M: We know these have been the last four words all along, but we also know that Amy Sherman Palladino couldn’t have predicted a Netflix revival that would take place when Rory was 32. (In the early 2000s, that sentence would have required like a 10 minute explanation.) That means that this full-circle ending – pregnant at the same age Lorelai was in the beginning of the series – was initially planned as a completely different kind of full-circle ending – a promising teenager or college kid finding out that she’s pregnant.
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Being roughly Rory’s age now gives me a different reaction to the pregnancy news compared to some younger fans. If I was watching this at 14 or even 20 I’d probably think this was an okay ending – Rory will be a single mom like Lorelai, but that worked out well. At 30, it’s more like looking into a living nightmare. Rory has no steady career or solid income. She lives at home. We don’t know who the father of her child is and we don’t know if she does, either. Logan seems plausible (I feel like on some levels he’s her Christopher), but for all we know she and Paul still had a physical relationship. And who the hell knows about the Wookie. So the father options are an engaged man who lives overseas, her ex who she never payed attention to, and a stranger from line. YIKES. Also I know the implied outcome is that Rory becomes a single mom and the story circles back to the beginning, but realistically “I’m pregnant” – especially with the variables Rory has in front of her – does not necessarily equal “I’m having a baby” or “I’m raising a baby.”

T: FWIW I’m also doubling down on the Logan = Christopher theory (which would make Jess her Luke?). He’s gotta be the father. In that AOL Build interview, Matt said ASP told him who the father is, but wouldn’t divulge who. And to be honest, I don’t want to know. Unless it’s Rory saying it in a potential new season.

M: It’s time to talk about Rory. During the Chilton years and arguably the beginning of Yale, Rory was the ultimate good kid. She got good grades, didn’t get in trouble, had a sweet and caring personality and was humble and shy despite being beloved by an entire town. Something changed in the later few seasons, and she became more entitled and selfish – more like I’d imagine a kid Emily raised, if I hadn’t known that Emily raised Lorelai. This could be a backlash to how mature Rory HAD to be as a a kid and a teenager. It could also be a negative consequence to being adulated by all of Stars Hollow; Rory believes that she is special and good and right because that is what she has been told she is. If Rory chooses to have this child, I like to think that the best aspects of her character, her tenaciousness and intellect and humor and goodness, will guide her to succeed like Lorelai did. With or without a child, one thing I’m sure of is that Rory has the best example in Lorelai.

T: Rory was a constant source of frustration throughout the revival for me, and is the main reason why I didn’t entirely love the revival. She made it hard to root for her. She made bad decisions – like the fact that not only did she cheat on her boyfriend repeatedly with her ex, but that she constantly forgot they were dating. For TWO years. I get that it’s a joke, but come on, I’d hope she’d be better than that. But what helped me reconcile my annoyance with Rory was this piece from Paste Magazine that circles back to the Wizard of Oz reference. Her goodbye with Logan and the LDB was her essentially saying goodbye to that chapter of her youth and privilege and moving into a world of responsibility and adulthood with her impending motherhood. London was her Emerald city, with her dark forest was filled with cheating & career troubles,. What I’m trying to say is that perhaps ASP meant to put Rory through the ringer in these new episodes, to show that she went through all that and now she realizes she has to get her shit together and hopefully that will turn her all around.

So overall, I am of the mindset that we don’t need any more episodes of Gilmore Girls. This show is obviously near and dear to my heart, but I want it to stay special and not become some money making machine that’s only being made for fan service. Plus, I think the idea of rebooting or reviving TV series is such a fairly new concept that there’s really been no good precedent for it, so clearly anything brought back again is going to be criticized to the max. Arrested Development, The X-Files, Veronica Mars – all of these have had their fair shares of bad reviews. But bringing Gilmore Girls back was different.

This is the way I see it: ASP wrote a novel that went on to be beloved by many, and that equals the first six seasons of GG. Then, because of forces out of her control, a new author swiped her book and wrote the last chapter, without knowing or taking into consideration how the OG writer wanted it to end. 16 years after first releasing her “book”, she was given the rare chance to write the the final chapter in the form of A Year in the Life. Now it’s out there. Her story, the one she never thought she’d get to end the way she wanted, is complete. Anything made after this is the sequel that will always be contended. Did we need a second installment of Grease? No.

Because ASP was able to show fans her own ending, it was enough to make me feel closure with the story as a whole, and satisfied with saying goodbye to the Gilmores once and for all. That being said, did I watch Grease 2? Of course. That Michelle Pfeiffer is a gem.

Stray Observations

  • I am obsessed with everything Lorelai wears in this entire revival. The camping clothes and cute hats she wears are no exception. I love it all.
  • Lor is watching Snapped in her motel room, which I can only imagine is what ASP really does on her days off.
  • Jess briefly mentioned he lived in Stars Hollow again for six months? Did anyone else catch that?
  • Jess: I really don’t like you using the word ‘oops’.
    Luke: I don’t like me using the word ‘oops’ either I’ve never used the word ‘oops’ before and now I’m a guy who snipes at his girl and uses the word ‘oops’!
  • Lorelai after finding out the diner on the side of the road is closed: “I hate nature.” #Same
  • Emily may or may not be saying Hello to Jack because he’s at her home in Nantucket, but she kicks him out and Berta immediately comes out with his suitcase. Berta – who’s stayed with Emily for A YEAR – is the best.
  • Lorelai commenting on Emily: “Hey, when was the exact moment you became a Mamet play?”
  • NOV 5 = NEW JUNE 3
  • Do we think they specifically chose a fall date BEFORE the election because either result would have been huge and thus weird for everyone to be acting like nothing happened? We do, right?
  • M: Michel: “So your name is Molly. Why?” Been asking myself that for decades, Michel.
  • “When this is over I’m going to be so thin!” Thing I also contemplated during the weird moment when I was reading Wild and running away to go hiking sounded like an OK plan.
  • T: The woman who made that comment ^ her name is Traci/Tracy/Tracie!!! THANKS ASP

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Gilmore Girls Revival Town Meeting: Pool Parties, Musicals, And The 30-Something Gang

It was a little difficult for both of us to start Summer, because it meant that we were more than halfway through A Year In The Life. But who are we kidding – it was a little hard for us to start ALL of the episodes because we can’t be chill and normal when it comes to Gilmore Girls. In Summer, the conflicts that Rory and Lorelai are dealing with come to a head. Also Stars Hollow has a pool and a star-studded musical.

M: Stars Hollow has a pool. Stars Hollow has always had a pool, maybe? Lorelai and Rory are pool people, I guess? To be fair, we didn’t see much summer during the original series.

T: Everything the girls say about the pool I couldn’t agree with more. “The pool only makes you hotter”, “The chlorine, the algaecides, the bodily fluids that shall remain nameless (kid pee)”.
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M: April is over for dinner, because we can’t unwrite that plot point even if we’d like to. She’s now a pseudo-hippie college kid who makes a big deal out of the fact that she smokes pot (once). Hats off (slouchy wannabe rasta hat) to Vanessa Marano who perfectly steps back into the role of April, voice and all. It must be so strange to walk into a role 10 years after you left it when the same amount of time has elapsed for the character.

T: And while I wasn’t entire Team April during the OG series, I must say I loved what she turned out to be in the revival. Of COURSE she pretends to have a nose ring and brag that she walks the MIT halls with her idol Noam Chomsky, only to confess to Rory none of what she said is true. At heart, April just wants to be cool and fit in, which might not happen for her – and it’s totally OK. I also enjoyed that the pretty much step-sisters have a scene together, something we never really got in the OG series. There was of course the one time in Philadelphia, but the fact that April confided in Rory this time around to admit she had been exaggerating the truth shows the confidence in their friendship and family ties to go to her “sibling” for advice.

T: I know Luke is a millionaire, but why did he pay for April to go to MIT AND is offering to pay for her to go to Germany? Where is her mother? ANDDD yet again, Lor offers to help with April and yet again, Luke shoots her down by noting “April’s mine. I got it.”UGH. THIS IS GOING TO BE PROBLEMATIC. Also continuing to be problematic: Logan.

M: Rory is back home, as we saw at the end of Spring. She’s living in her time-frozen teen bedroom and – am I losing it? – reverting to 2000s Rory’s hair and clothing style, at least during her phone call with Logan.

M: Logan’s girlfriend is moving in with him, so Rory will have to stay in a hotel when she next visits in London. Rory: “So now you want me to just wait in a hotel so you can slip away and come see me? Like I’m a geisha?” RORY. Rory, Rory, Rory. You’ll never feel respected if you aren’t showing any respect for yourself.  (If not yourself, respect whoever the heck Odette is. You’re better than this.)

M: Too real: Stars Hollow is now home to The Thirty-Something Gang, “a group of kids all about your age, they’ve been to college, been out in the real world, it spit them out like a stale piece of gum and now they’re all back in their old rooms like you.”

Oh hai Bailey from Bunheads!

Babette re: the air conditioner going off in the middle of the town meeting: “This is really going to freak out the 30-something gang. They are very sensitive!”

M: I have mixed feelings about where Rory ended up in life. On one hand,  this is a fairly realistic outcome for Rory. She’s had some major successes, but she’s not exactly Christiane Amanpour. It’s one thing to be The Most Amazing Girl In Your Class at 15; there are so many amazing girls from so many classes and by your early 30s you’ve realized that you’re not as special as you thought. But while I didn’t think the journalistic world would put Rory on the same pedestal that Stars Hollow always has, I expected more hustle and drive out of her.

T: The thing that I’ve realized about Rory over the past few years of repeats and being out of college myself, is that we don’t actually know if she’s a good journalist. We’re told she’s a good journalist, but her best article (that’s discussed) is from her high school newspaper and it was about a parking lot. Yes, she was made the editor of the Yale Daily News, but it was after Paris got outed and none of the staff could decide on anyone else to replace her. In AYITL, I think it reinforced the theory that Rory’s no Christiane after she barely did anything close to reporting while meeting with the line-waiters in Spring. In fact, she fell asleep while interviewing someone, decided NOT to talk to the people who didn’t even know what they were waiting in line for (JOURNALISM 101), and slept with a source – that was a WOOKIE. I’m almost convinced Mitchum was right all along.

M: Really excited by the prospect of Rory heading up the Stars Hollow Gazette … if she revitalizes it instead of going all New Rory and failing to live up to expectations. It sounds like the beginning of either one of those millennial lifestyle blogs where a big-city person moves to become, e.g., a farmer’s wife in Missouri, or a Hallmark Christmas movie.

T: Also, she’s taking over for Bernie Roundbottom. Bernie. ROUNDBOTTOM. I am 5 years old. Anyways, Rory, no thanks to Esther and the other guy (Charles?), prints her first edition – which includes a bad review of a movie Doyle wrote the script for – but has no one to deliver all the copies to the metropolis that is Stars Hollow, so she naturally recruits Lorelai. This provides a nice little montage of our girls running around the town and dropping papers off at all the hotspots, which is yet another reminder we’re back in Stars Hollow.

M: The montage of Rory and Lorelai dropping off the Gazette reminds me of Now and Then, and I can’t think of why until I realize it’s the song These Boots Are Made For Walkin.

T: Lorelai and Rory have acquired two small minions to hold umbrellas over them while they sit in lounge chairs by the pool and basically do whatever bidding they want because they are regarded as literal royalty in this town. But you know who is truly deserving for us to bow down to? This guy, who kicked everyone out of the pool.

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T: Michel, who is focused on being nice to kids now that he and Frederic are planning to start a family, finally sits Lor down in the secret bar (FIVE-OH!) and tells her he has to leave if she can’t pay him more/expand the Dragonfly. This rare tender conversation between Lor and Michel has me in tears, and the same goes for Lor, but not Michel, because he doesn’t want to be seen crying in a secret bar.

Michel while offering candy to kids at the Dragonfly: For our special little muppets, complimentary lollipops – that is if you like lollipops. Go ahead take one each. Now when I say one, I mean two! *winks* (To Lorelai) On a scale of 1 to 10, how much did I sound like a child molester?
Lorelai: 6.
Michel: Ah. Getting better.

M: Poor Emily is waking up at noon depressed and disheveled.

T: Miss Patty and Babette are of course running auditions for the SH musical, and in an expected/unexpected turn of events, Broadway star Kerry Butler/ therapist Claudia is in line to audition, and sees Lorelai. Their conversation is the MOST she talked since she’s been on the show. Meanwhile, Sutton Foster makes her first appearance in the background and Taylor is singing her praises because she was Kinky Boots. She WAS Kinky Boots!

M: Stars Hollow: The Musical could only be better if they came down the aisles creepily waving their hands to audience members like the Pippin incident. Lorelai is aghast, Gypsy is having the time of her life, Babette’s pretty into it. It’s interesting having 90 minutes to play with –  in the original series it would have been a few verses to give us an idea of what was going on then a cut-away. I don’t want to wish away any moment of Sutton Foster, but I might have liked to use a few minutes of that time for some of the characters we love (Paris or Lane, specifically).

T: We are theater nerds in the truest sense of the term, but I totally agree – I would’ve given up a few minutes of the SH Musical in favor of more Paris or Lane or even Brian and Gil. Or Miss Patty!!!

M: Now we can add Hamilton to the list of 2016 pop culture references.

T: I just… have so many comments about this horribly amazing musical. A few things – they’re incorporating the Revolutionary War reenactors, finding out Sutton and Christian Borle’s characters, who’ve been singing about being in love, are siblings, and ending it with Abba’s Waterloo – the SAME EXACT SONG HIT JUKEBOX MUSICAL MAMMA MIA ENDS WITH!

M: Sutton’s character is named Violet which I’m deciding was very on purpose. Now can we please make this the beginning of the campaign to get a new season of Bunheads??

M: In the rundown session after the play, everyone loved it but Lorelai. (“What’s your suggestion? Make it LESS perfect?” “She was Kinky Boots!”) Loved Taylor name-dropping rappers (“How does he know their names?”)

I know nothing about musicals, but this is a fun musical. – Tom, a contractor by profession

T: Sutton, the star of ASP’s Bunheads and longtime GG fan, finally has a face-to-face scene with Lauren Graham, who is reprising her role of Lorelai Gilmore. My brain is on the verge of exploding.

M: Emily is letting Berta wear civilian clothes! She has a TV in the living room! She ATE in the living room! However, Rory wants Emily to get out more, go to the club, go dancing at night – sounds exhausting.

M: JESS. Jess looks very, very good. And I know we all know what Milo Ventimiglia looks like in 2016 – thank the tv gods for This Is Us – but it’s somehow still a fresh surprise to see him as Jess. Jess and Rory have a friendly but not flirty relationship, but haven’t seen each other for a good 4 years. I’ve always liked Jess the most of Rory’s boyfriends, that’s no secret, and I love how he has such a good insight into who she is. He tells her he knows what she should write: the story of her and her mom.

T: Jess walked into frame and I had to pause because I almost swooned. But his looks aside, I agree with Molly – Jess was the best (season 6 version of him at least), and he was always the intellectual equal to Rory. She believed he was better than his chalk outline pranks and knew he had potential to be great, and later on, he thought the same of her. That carries through to today, and it’s even more prevalent after suggesting she write the book. Also, is Luke going to give his franchise money to Rory for the book?

M: Major ‘aww’ moment: as Jess greets Luke outside the window, Rory pulls up an article about young single mom Lorelai moving to Stars Hollow. I guess before social media this is how you’d know things? But then again, this is Stars Hollow.

T: Rory pulling up the article “LORELAI GILMORE ARRIVES IN STARS HOLLOW TAKES JOB AT INDEPENDENCE INN” marks the first time I’ve ever cried over microfiche. And to step back a little bit, the moment between Luke and Jess was perfect.

M: Rory is having her Jo March moment writing about Lorelai’s life. I’m touched. Lorelai is not, and she withholds her permission. It’s understandable, though. Lorelai worked for years to make sure people “only knew what I wanted them to know.” I’m the same way – everyone gets pieces of my life but the whole thing isn’t out there – and it would drive me crazy if somebody spilled everything.

Also Rory… I really loved the sweet, shy, hardworking, morally upright Rory of the first 4 or so seasons. The problem is that she had this Stars Hollow pedestal her whole life and as an adult, that has manifested in a person who expects to be lauded and supported. She should have taken Lorelai’s “no,” or at least discussed the matter calmly, but emotions were high and I think Rory was caught off guard.

Still, Lorelai’s reaction isn’t typical for her (except for that long feud I don’t like to remember) and makes it clear how serious she is about this. Lorelai has always been so confident and no-nonsense about her rough early years that I didn’t realize that it was something she was sensitive about, but being rejected by her mother at 16 and now again after Richard died is still painful for her.

T: And on top of this, Lorelai goes to the diner and has a fight with Luke after she tells him he’s “been grumpy for months”, and it sets off the whole can of worms that I explicitly told them would come back to bite them in the ass during Spring. Apparently these fictional characters can’t hear either of us when we talk to the TV. Lor calls out Luke for not telling her he went looking for potential spots for his diner franchise, while he reminds her she didn’t tell him Emily stopped going to therapy but she kept seeing Claudia. AND THEN Luke says, “We struck a deal. You’ve got your life and I’ve got mine. You keep your crazy family away from me and I’ll keep my crazy family away from you.” UhBoy. This is what is was like circa season 6 with the whole April debacle – why are we still here??

All the while, Lorelai, like putting salt in the saltshakers in Winter, continues to help Luke clean up the dirty plates from the tables because it’s basically her diner too. All. The. Feels.

“Can we talk about this at home?” “This is home.”

M: Rory and Logan break up (“we can’t break up, because we’re nothing.”). One thing I think AYITL does well is the reintroduction of Rory’s old love interests. Realism would have her on a Facebook-only basis with all of them, but obviously that wouldn’t work. I like that for viewers who were Team Logan, he’s a caring and sweet guy except for the cheating, which I can’t forgive but in which he’s no more culpable than Rory. For Team Jess, he shows up, has a friendly rapport with Rory, and gives her the first writing inspiration she’s had for some time. Team Dean? We’re not there yet.

M: Then Lane states the theme of this episode and also of life in your early 30s: this adult stuff is hard, isn’t it?

T: I mean, we kind of don’t know where Lane’s coming from except she’s the mom of two twins and a part-time drummer. #JusticeForLane

M: Secondary theme of your early 30s, courtesy of Rory: I don’t need Lipitor, I need to be 20 again.

M: If we needed more clarification, though, the one and only Sutton Foster sings the dilemma for us, too. Lorelai starts crying and so do I (“Maybe it’ll be me and a dog?” You’re killing me, Sutton. Woof.).

T: Through my tears, I appreciated how realistic and unrealistic this show is, and how truly theatrical it is. There were many times in AYITL in particular which felt like I was watching a stage production, but this scene was obvious yet magical, and perfectly encapsulated Lorelai’s “A-Ha” moment without her having to say a word.

M: Callback to the beginning of the episode: Lorelai is going to “do Wild,” aka hike the Pacific Crest Trail like in Cheryl Strayed’s book. But have any of you read that book? Particularly at a time when you were feeling topsy-turvy about your life? That thing should come with an advisory on the back, because it makes you want to go out there and hike until your feet are so blistered that you figure your life out.

T: I’ve only seen the movie, and I was left confirming my lifelong stance against camping and hiking long distances through nature. I feel like I’m on the same level as Lorelai, so I’m truly concerned for her wellbeing if she lasts on this trip. Also, please note that while Luke is reminding Lorelai nature is nature, he is standing next to another beloved townie – Bert the Toolbox.
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M: This is the heaviest of the episodes so far, but it’s also a serious dose of reality (musical numbers aside). Rory can only keep a cheerful, optimistic attitude about being out of work for so long. Emily lost her spouse of 50 years. And Lorelai did an amazing job overcoming obstacles as a young parent, but it never left her with time to sort out what it all meant.

Stray observations

  • Lorelai has one of those Reese Witherspoon Totes Y’all totes while she’s reading Wild poolside (I think if you watch Gilmore Girls you’re also the kind of person who knows both that Reese was in Wild and that she sells these totes and get a kick out of the unspoken reference. This is why I love Gilmore Girls fans.)
  • Zach on the twins: “When they get mad, they’re like five little Korean people and they focus all their Korean vitriol at Lane and me.”
  • Did I miss why Rory is wearing a hippie costume poolside?
  • She got game. “Your name is Kevin, huh? But I think I’ll call you – TOMORROW.” GET IT BABETTE.
  • The wonderful Jackie Hoffman is playing Esther, who can’t stop filing at the SH Gazette, and it is just another testament of how good casting was for the revival.
  • Michel is turning 50?? Which I guess makes sense because Lorelai is 48? STILL.
  • Lane and Zach have a side White Stripes combo at the Secret Bar. BUT WHAT ELSE DOES LANE DO? AND WHAT DOES ZACH SUPERVISE?
  • I continue to be amazed at how lovely and beautiful Lauren Graham is in this entire revival. I just love her so much, you guys.
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  • Did ASP shade Aaron Sorkin, her closest writer rival, yet again? Lorelai: Yeah it’s like the set of an Aaron Sorkin movie in here.”
  • Rory still hasn’t dumped Paul. And she had to write herself a note to remind herself to do it.
  • Famous chefs continue to rotate out of the Dragonfly, but Luke is back in the kitchen at the inn after Ina Garten or Sandra Lee or one of them was kicked out by Lor. Remember, Luke is secretly like a Michelin star chef and just loves Lorelai a lot but has to get out his frustration by ranting about the situation yet ends up doing it anyways. It’s OG Luke ranting and it is gold.

  • Sophie suggests a tune to add to the musical, and it happens to be a song called I Feel The Earth Move, by the one and only Carole King. To clarify, Sophie is played by Carole King. All is well.
  • Rory: “Maybe I can be one of Paris’ surrogates. She always liked my teeth.” Yes. This is a thing Paris would let Rory know about.
  • I find it unbelievable Rory wouldn’t know what Mysteries of Laura is.
  • Emily is saying ‘Hello’. To Jack. The guy who had a real memory of Richard at his funeral. You know what? FUCK JACK. RICHARD GILMORE 4EVER. **UPDATE: The actor who plays Jack just showed up on my TV as Honey’s husband Marvin on Fresh Off The Boat, solving the mystery of why I know his face. BUT ALSO he played Robin’s dad, Robin Scherbatsky Sr. in HIMYM!**
  • Why does Nat, the director of the SH musical, have a neck brace on in the last scene he’s in?
  • This one was produced by Helen Pai, the namesake of Hep Alien (in anagram form). She’s also Amy Sherman Palladino’s friend who served as an inspiration for Lane.
  • By this point in my viewing (Saturday night), I had to cut off all communication with at least 5 people because they finished Fall before me. It’s real, y’all. -T

Countdown to ThanksGilmore: The Day Luke Danes Became Our Shea Stadium

ONE WEEK, PEOPLE. ONE WEEK.

Over the past few days, a barrage of Gilmore Girls-related articles have come out, many of them reviews of the entire Gilmore Girls: A Year in the Life four-part event series. Per most of said reviews (TBH, I just read headlines & skimmed for grades above a B+), what we had hoped was true – that Amy Sherman-Palladino hadn’t let us down and the revival provides the closure fans had been yearning for for nearly a decade.

It’s been just over a year since October 19th, 2015, when news of the revival first surfaced, and that was also four months after we had attended the ATX Television Festival in Austin, Texas, where talks of a revival were merely statements of “I hope one day” and “the timing has to be right” etc. Of course, by this point, ASP and her husband Dan had already gone to Netflix and got the ball rolling, but the cast had yet to all sign on. There was something brewing and we had no idea. Luckily, we documented our journey at ATX in our pre-revival news glory, and despite the fact we were still holding on for hope of a GG comeback, everything was OK because we got to see the cast reunite (a thing we almost didn’t get in to), were nearly front row at a surprise Hep Alien concert, and even met a couple of Stars Hollow residents – including Mr. Lorelai Gilmore himself – Luke Danes aka Scott Patterson.

Below is just a glimpse of our weekend at ATX last June, so click the links to read about our entire time in TV heaven!

ATX Television Festival Wrap-Up: That Was A Thing That Happened, Pt. 1

Friday Night Lights Tailgate

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Hep Alien YES, FICTIONAL BAND HEP ALIEN was playing a ‘secret show’ in 45 minutes at the FNL tailgate. AKA the place we were already at. We saw it hoped it was early enough that not a lot of people saw it yet, so we got prime spots. And ASP was there, hand in hand with ultimate GG fan Sutton Foster, who had two cute buns in her hair. Jackson Douglas (Jackson) was there to intro the band a la Tippicanoe and Taylor Too – well he actually intro-ed Daniel Palladino dressed as a 60s guy who then introduced the band. IDK. All I know is that we found ourselves watching Hep Alien (AGAIN, A FICTIONAL BAND) in concert, with ASP in the front row, playing songs like Daydream Believer and a cover of Single Ladies and the GG theme song, during a Friday Night Lights event. It was Stars Hollow meets Dillon and our brains could not. Still cannot.

ALSO
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Long story short – we didn’t get into a panel with Amy Sherman-Palladino, so we ended up sitting around the hotel lobby where ASP was talking upstairs. By divine intervention, we happened to be in the pathway of Scott Patterson AKA Luke Danes AKA #LUKEDANESDREAMMAN and THIS HAPPENED.

I can’t even look at this bc I get all the feels

Actual footage of my brain during this time period:

SO LET THIS BE A LESSON KIDS – SOMETIMES IT’S OKAY IF YOU DON’T MAKE IT INTO A PANEL WITH ASP AND FREE COFFEE BECAUSE YOU’LL HANG OUT WITH THE MAN WITH THE COFFEE HIMSELF. SANS COFFEE. JUST ALL MAN.

ATX Television Festival Wrap-Up: That Was A Thing That Happened, Pt. 2

Gilmore Girls Reunion

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We waited in this long ass line in 1000 degree heat:

Photo Jun 06, 5 11 28 PMBUT THEN OUR BEST FRIEND PASSED BY TO SAY HI:

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AND THEN WE WERE SOME OF THE LAST PEOPLE TO GET INSIDE, SO HERE’S a video of their intros, and apologies in advance for the screaming and non-focus in the beginning because I HAD ABSOLUTELY NO CHILL.

You Know What Date I’m Not Getting Married? June 3rd.

Before there’s any confusion, neither of us is getting married. Also not getting married: Season 6 Lorelai Gilmore. Why am I even bringing this up? Besides the obvious that we’re obsessed with the show? Today is June 3rd.

Yes, Lucas. June 3rd. It’s the unofficial Gilmore Girls holiday for a couple reasons. A) It’s the date Luke & Lorelai were supposed to get married. B) It’s the date of Rory’s court hearing. C) Because I Said So (see what I did there?)

In honor of Flashback Friday, I’m bringing it back to last year’s June 3rd post in the middle of our Gilmore Girls theme week. It was days before we reunited with the rest of the GG cast at the ATX TV Festival and also days before we met aforementioned Luke Danes and nearly passed out. Ok, I, Traci, almost passed out. Molly was fine.

Anyways, in addition to Luke, there were many men that came in and out of the Gilmore girls’ lives, so here are (fake) bios we made for all the gentleman callers throughout the seven seasons we were in Stars Hollow.

Gilmore Girls’ Gentleman Callers Character Bios: He’d Better Have a Motorcycle

Guys, do you know what today is? It’s June 3rd. Yes, it’s silver fox Anderson Cooper’s birthday, but that has nothing to do with Gilmore Girls Week. June 3rd – it’s the day that Rory was scheduled to go to court for the whole sex boat scandal – but more importantly, it was the day Luke and Lorelai were supposed to get married.

Alas, as you fans know, that wedding date never came to fruition, and Lorelai made sure everybody knew that during Zach and Lane’s wedding when she got a lil’ shitfaced and told pretty much all of Stars Hollow that June 3rd wasn’t happening, and doubted that it was ever going to happen.

Full disclosure – for the past few years, I’ve been ‘celebrating’ June 3rd with my friend and we usually get coffee, some kind of delish food, and maybe sneak in an ep, so basically it’s become the official unofficial holiday for the show. In celebration of (pre-breakup) June 3rd, let’s take a more in-depth look at not only Luke, but all the memorable boys of Gilmore Girls past. From Tristan to Christopher to Asher, there have been some interesting and some unforgettable men in the GG world, and today, we’re bringing them back and reminding you of just how good (or horrible) they are with a breakdown of each guy, with facts that may or may not be true (they’re all fake, these characters are not real. I know).

**Ed. note: Friendly reminder we’re heading to Austin for the #ATXFestival on Thursday, so follow us on social media using the hashtag #CandSTakeATX as we update you live panels starring the likes of GG, Bunheads, Orphan Black, Dawson’s Creek and more!!**

Dean

Occupation: Piece of human garbage

Smells like: Axe body spray, probably

Defining characteristics: punchable face, stupid hair.

Special skills: Carrying historical cannonballs, being obnoxiously tall, okay at Bop It, I guess.

Favorite Macaulay Culkin role: the little evil boy in The Good Son

Emoji that may or may not represent him as a character: 🚽

Tristan

Where is he now: After finishing his high school years at a military school in small-town North Carolina, Tristan has since settled down with his beloved wife … Mary.

Biggest secret: The “military school” thing was a ruse, he’s obviously in the witness protection program. Come on, there’s no way “Dugray” isn’t a made-up New England prep school kid surname.

Personal hero: the Ryan Philippe character from Cruel Intentions

Hobbies: Local gun club, community theatre

Jess

Fashion preferences: layered look

Food aversions: Deviled eggs

Deepest secret: Has the ability to take on superpowers of other people

Favorite book: Swan’s Way

Current occupation: Part-owner of Trunchin Books, and leads their booming e-book department. Wrote another novel called The Heartful Dodger

Most used emoji: 📚

Marty

Famous relatives: Ugly Naked Guy, third cousin of John Mayer

Bad habits: Lies when completely unnecessary, never carries any cash

Current occupation: Owns a catering company with branches in 20 cities throughout America. Still refuses to cater any party involving Logan Huntzberger.

Underused emoji: 👕

Logan

What comes up when you Google his name: Rory Gilmore Sex Boat

Recreational interests: yacht heists (possibly the wealthiest-sounding two-word combo ever)

Family history: while man is known to descend from apes, Logan’s family carries a suspicious amount of wasp DNA

Favorite Macaulay Culkin role: Richie Rich

Emoji that stings when he see it: 💍

Doyle

Current age: 21. Still. Somehow.

Biggest secret: Has been frozen in time since 1928 (see: fondness for print journalism; fear of treadmills – it all makes sense).

Favorite accessory: probably one of those old-time tickets in his bowler cap in lieu of a press pass?

Hobbies: Krav Maga, making railroad models, coming up with new dad jokes to tell his two kids with Paris.

Jamie

Un-celebrations: Took a good five years before he could fully enjoy his birthday after Paris broke up with him on his 20th.

Occupation: Works at a Washington, D.C. think tank

Current relationship status: Married to Zenon (no, really. IRL)

Asher

Current occupation: deceased

Where would he be in 2015?: Dating someone who learned about 9/11 from a very special episode of Sesame Street

In lieu of flowers: gives teen girlfriend Paris an antique printing press (posthumously)

Fashion favorite: those blazers with patches on the elbows

Favorite memory: the 1940s

Favorite emoji: 👴

Zach

Fun fact: played guitar on all of the “la las”

Favorite musical genre: Songs with girls’ names in them

Secret hobby: Writes vampire fiction

Favorite/Least favorite movie: From Here To Eternity

Most used emoji:  🎎

Dave Rygalski

Where is he now: While pretending to be a Christian guitarist, he got inspired and now is a real-life Christian guitarist in a mega church’s worship band.

Net worth: One marriage jug

Current location: Chino

Celebrity crush: Leighton Meester

Henry Cho

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Current occupation: still not a doctor

Relationship status: married to a Korean doctor

Jackson

Cutting the cord: Finally got that vasectomy for real after Sookie cursed him out while in labor with their child.

Career highlights: farmer, town selectman, former town selectman

Unrealized dreams: “Four in four” – unless that season 7 baby was actually twins. Yikes.

Favorite designer: Carhartt

Biggest fear: Getting caught for accidentally farming weed in ’06

Rune

Fashion inspiration: Dickon from The Secret Garden: 

Dislikes: tall women who have ears

Fun fact: has never swiped right

Most noticeable characteristic: resting bitch face

Unrealized dream: Newsie

T.J.

Occupation: Is a contractor. Well, technically, works for a contractor as an assistant, but still calls himself a contractor.

Where is he now: after the legging craze took off, T.J. became the proprietor of a successful men’s tights boutique

Hometown: Not New York, actually.

Favorite word: Escrow (pronounced: ES-kher-oh)

Kids’ names: Doula, Gary Jr.

Favorite emoji:  🔨

Young Chui

Relationship status: secretly dating Dave Rygalski

Favorite sport: Krav maga. Ironically took the same class as Doyle until he and Paris moved away from Connecticut.

Favorite food: trail mix, peanuts, potato chips, basically any sort of party food

Favorite TV shows: Jeopardy!, The Bachelor franchise

Max

Favorite pick-up location: Parent-teacher conferences; PTA bake sales

Movie he cannot watch: Runaway Bride

Current location: Went back to Stanford, tried to reunite with Diane, that lasted approx 2 months. Now teaches at Berkley, was involved with a woman named Sarah Braverman, and right when he was about to propose, she told him she couldn’t go through with it. Still looking for the “one”, but satisfied with his career as a teacher.

Fatal flaw: Not Luke

Christopher

Where is he now: After breaking up with Lorelai for good, he realized he needed to get away from Connecticut for a while and moved to Santa Barbara with Gigi. He initially planned for it to be temporary so he could move back to CT to be close to Rory, but after she got the campaign job with Obama, he decided to stay put and has lived there ever since. He met a woman who works as an astrophysics professor at University of California, Santa Barbara, and they’ve been dating for years, but are in no rush to settle down.

Movie he cannot watch: Funny Face

Weird aversion: Light-up santas, outdoor nativity scenes

Emoji he uses when feeling threatened: 👊

Fatal flaw: Not Luke

Alex

Hobbies and interests: Fishing, coffee

Where is he now: Good question. Missing person: he just sort of faded away then disappeared. Nancy Grace is on it.

Medical Marvel: Alex is immune to the effects of caffeine.

Underused emoji: 🎣

Fatal flaw: Not Luke

Jason

Nickname: Digger, The Worst

Interests: Suing people, ruining things

Pets: Cyrus, the dog, who passed away in 2012. He had the animal taxidermied. There’s honestly no difference.

Relationship status: In a long-term relationship with a woman he met while on a business trip in China. They have an apartment in New York City – they sleep in separate beds.

Emoji doppelganger: 💩

Fatal flaw: Not Luke

Luke

Nicknames: Butch, Mr. Backwards Baseball Hat

Favorite possession: Canadian mountie hat

Favorite movie: Casablanca

Secret nobody knows: He uses his “Dark Day” as an excuse to go to a reggae concert and let his ‘Jah be Jah’.

Odd quirk: Hugging people then grabbing the back of their head before letting go.

Collections of interest: Star Trek memorabilia, a box of important items from his and Lorelai’s relationship

Emoji sequence Lorelai sends to Luke most often: 🍴💖☕️

Best quality: Being Luke.

Cheers Chats #1: Give Me A Ring Sometime

Let’s take it back. It’s 1982, we’re not alive, and maybe you aren’t either. The wacky, Studio 54-era disco-and-drugs ’70s were over, but the serious perm and shoulderpad business of the ’80s hadn’t really started. If you wanted to pitch a tv show about normal-looking people who wear a lot of brown and go to a bar sometimes, you were right in the zeitgeist. That’s the world that gave us Cheers.

Okay, now let’s take it … well, a little bit less back: August 2015. We got together to knock out a quick Pop Culture Blind Spots post. Neither of us had seen Cheers and together we were going to change that. By the end of the pilot, we were absolutely obsessed with this 33-year-old show that everybody else already knew was good. It became clear that we needed to devote more than a single post to Sam (The Luke Danes of 1980s Boston), Diane (Shut Up, Diane), Our Boo, Carla and all the others who we’d prefer you not tell us about because we haven’t seen the whole series yet, thanks. We shelved the post until we had more time to devote to the series.

So here’s what’s up: the last Friday of every month we’ll be posting Cheers Chats, where we discuss the top-ranked episodes of the 1980s smash hit, Cheers. Come join us, because our love for this neighborhood bar and grill is only going to grow. If you love the show too, or are watching along, jump into the comments … because sometimes you want to go where everybody knows your name.

Episode 1.01: Give Me A Ring Sometime

For starters, here’s our collective Cheers knowledge:

  • It’s Boston
  • They’re in a bar.
  • Sam and Diane are a thing, maybe. Like Ross and Rachel?
  • Norm is the mailman. No, scratch that – CLIFF. Cliff is the mailman.
  •  Norm is George Wendt – aka Jason Sudeikis’ uncle. He is a barfly. Barfly’s a word right?
  • It’s just that “barfly” looks like it would be pronounced “Barflee” and would be the name of a mischievous dog on a PBS sitcom from the 90s (which originally aired on CBC).
  • Frasier is a spin-off of Cheers. (Traci typed this; Molly exclaimed “yes, that’s right!” like a child correctly recited the Alphabet for the first time. I repeat: we did not watch Cheers.)

Chit-Chat Club

(Off-topic Cheers chatter.)

M: Netflix says Cheers is from 1992. Like … is it sure? I feel like this started in the late 80s and that I was super, super little when it was on. I also felt like it was one of those shows that ran for a million seasons.

T: 1992 is 23 YEARS ago. That is a college graduate.

M: WE WERE RIGHT. 1982 – 1993. 1992 is neither of those years. It’s just … a year. We were 6. Home Alone 2 came out. I wore a lot of stirrup pants.

T: Who do we write to about this? Mr. Netflix? I’ve got a strongly worded comment box for you.

T: This is the first time we’ve live-blogged together in the same room. And it’s weird.

M:  I feel like we’re about to turn it into the chit-chat club up in here and forget to type.

This Theme Song

We love this tune by super well-known singer/songwriter Gary Portnoy, but in the pilot, they play the theme song for real and it sounds kind of depressing? Maybe it’s the old-timey cartoon illustrations of folks in the 1900s in the opening credits (because they’re like, all dead)? Either way, this song still holds up.

Later on, they do that thing where they play the theme song, but instrumental and sad, before what would have been the commercial break.

Bahhston Tahhlk

Last week, Seth Meyers did this absolutely brilliant sketch about actors and Boston accents and it is so incredibly dead on. In saying that, not everyone in Boston has an accent, and if they do, it’s not always thick. At one point in the pilot, this kid attempting to get a beer at the bar says, “How bout a beeahh (beer), chief?” Stop exaggerating. Like, did he “Park his car in Hahhvahd Yahhd” too?? (NO ONE DOES THIS).

Also,  it felt like everyone was talking like they’re from a 1930s movie. At one point, it felt so garbled that we had to rewind three times then turn on closed captioning to figure out what they’re saying ( it was: How long is the wimp convention in town?”). Again, everyone is very muffled, like if you listened to that 1930s movie through one headphone.

Photo Jan 28, 10 47 33 PM

The Luke Danes of 1980s Boston

So Ted Danson – kind of a hottie? We never really put too much thought into him before, but NOW we are. You want to know why? Because Molly realized that Sam Malone is such a Luke Danes (Traci promptly shrieked “That’s why!” and dissolved into laughter upon this epiphany. She also started sweating because of this fact). (Note: That was very diplomatic of her, but if Traci was sweating that’s because it was August and 90 degrees and I don’t have an air conditioner. Enjoy the cooling breeze of a BOX FAN, friends! – M)

The Netflix description for the pilot reads: “Sam Malone, an ex-baseball player turned bar owner, operates a saloon that’s always filled with quirky customers and even more eccentric staff.” Hey, you know who ELSE played baseball?

scott was seriously too handsome to be a baseball player. he needed to share his good looks with the rest of the world as an actor.

GUYS I CAN’T UNSEE IT. I CANNOT. Also, does that make Diane Lorelai? Let’s dissect this – Diane’s husband-to-be is a professor at BU who references Proust – MAX MEDINA, MUCH?? And at some point, Sam gives Diane a drink JUST LIKE LUKE GIVING LORELAI COFFEE.

Photo Jan 28, 11 02 43 PM

Unrelated to Luke Danes, Sam is a recovering alcoholic who owns a bar. In season 7, are we going to see a dark storyline of Sam battling his demons and has to go to rehab? (Read: Ted Danson filmed Three Men and a Little Lady). Probably. Picturing a Bailey Salinger plotline.

Carla’s My Boo

Rhea Perlman busts into the bar and immediately goes on a rant:

“OK, I’m late! My kid was throwing up all over the place. You don’t buy that excuse, I quit. I don’t work for a man who has no compassion for my children. And you’re not exactly swamped here. I’m usually punctual. If you don’t like it, fine. This ain’t such a great job. I’m gonna change.”

A) Love her already.

B) She’s younger than we remembered.

C) She’s clearly the feminist of the show. Later on, she suggests to Diane that she stop waiting around for her fiance to come and just leave him. This coming from a woman whose husband used her to go to TV repair school then left her and their 4 kids behind once he graduated. All day Carla. All Day. Forever.

LLOL

(We used the LLOL acronym when we’d talk on AIM as teens – it means LITERALLY laughing out loud, as opposed to LOL as the typographic version of a smirk)

We genuinely LOLed throughout this entire episode. Like way more than we typically would during a pilot.

Exhibit A: 

Carla, after answering the phone: “Who isn’t here?”

Every male sitting at the bar in the middle of the day: “ME!”

Exhibit B: 

Cliff: Women have fewer sweat glands than men, but they’re larger, more active. Consequently, they sweat more…  (To Diane) How about you, miss? What are your perspiration patterns?

Exhibit C: 

Sam: Still working on that novel?

Coach: Yeah, coming on six years now. I got a feeling I might finish it tonight.

Diane: You’re writing a novel?

Coach: No, reading one.

 One-Hit Wonders

(Characters we don’t expect to be seeing again.)

This episode features Diane and her version of Rachel’s dentist husband. We hadn’t bothered to remember his name, which is a sign he might not be returning for the rest of the series.

Photo Jan 28, 10 50 36 PM

T: Also, I haven’t even bothered to remember Diane’s fiance’s name. I’m assuming he’s gone by the end of this episode.

M: Same. Barry, for now?

T: Barry it is.

M: Where Everybody Knows Your Name… except Traci and Molly. Who don’t care. He is very old.

T: Barry is going out to talk to his ex-wife, and leaves Diane behind, but why is he leaving her in a bar by herself in Boston? This bar is not the only place to visit in the city.

M: Old North Church is open, like, all the time.

T: EW DIANE’S FIANCE’S NAME IS ‘SUMNER’

Carla (answering phone): Cheers. Just a minute. (To Barry) If you’re not, I apologise, but is your name Sumner Sloane?

Barry/Sumner: Yes, it is.

Carla: BAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

Shut Up, Diane

(We just have a feeling we’re going to be saying Shut Up, Diane at our screens KIND OF A LOT.)

Diane’s got a book out and a bunch of pencils while sitting at the bar. GO TO THE LIBRARY, DIANE. To add more to the Gilmore Girls parallel, Diane could also be one of Paris’s friends, Louise and/or Madeline. Or Lindsay’s crazy mom Theresa. Or the mom who convinced Luke and Lorelai to speak at Stars Hollow High for career day.

Diane and Sumner act rich, even though we’re pretty sure professors don’t make that much money.

Diane uses the bar phone to cancel the flight reservations to Barbados since Sumner hasn’t come back.  A) a PHONE. B) She knew the number to the airline by heart? C) She immediately got through to a customer representative? She says she wants to change the flight reservations and Traci screams ‘THEY’RE ON IT!’ As in that dumb Sumner took his ex-wife to Barbados on his wedding day to Diane. Not even mad that we called it.

Diane says “now look, Buster!” because this sitcom was written by a man at a typewriter wearing a trilby with one of those journalist tags in it.

Sam ends up hiring Diane to be a waitress after Barry/Sumner leaves her, but why is she acting like a hostess? I thought bars don’t have hostesses? All Day Carla would NEVER.

Little Ditty About Sam & Diane

T: We’re at the first scene between Sam and Diane and TBH, I ship it already. Why am I so into Ted Danson right now??

Barfly Fashion

Diane. It is your first day on the job. What are you wearing? This plaid peasant shirt. Why is the apron so short? Is this a denim skirt? And with these knee highs?

This elderly lady is living her BEST LIFE. In a wheelchair, wearing a fancy hat, and sipping on a beer. Goals.

We are Team Carla All Day, but can we just discuss this empty purse? She’s a mother of 4, why is it filled with nothing. Also these pants. V 80s.

Cheers Cheers

(Raising a glass to our new favorite old sitcom.)

We literally had to adjust the TV set during Cheers because we thought it was too dark. The TV was fine. The show is dark. That’s also why we weren’t watching it in 1992. Too dark, no appeal to 6-year-olds. But now we’ve seen it, and while we shouldn’t feel surprised that the most beloved sitcom pilot of all time is good, here we both are. Those 22 minutes went by so fast, which is what we were afraid was going to happen. Looks like we’ll both be binging on Cheers for the next several months. Like Sam of two years ago, we think we may have a problem (too soon?). 

Next Up: We are basing our watch list off of AV Club’s 10 Episodes That Show How Cheers Stayed Great For 11 Seasons  (plus one, because the Pilot didn’t make the cut). We’re going chronologically, so stop by next month when we’ll discuss Episode 1.08, Truce Or Consequences.