Last night, the U.S. Women’s National Soccer Team gave America one heck of a late birthday present, crushing Japan to soar into World Cup victory. While I’ve never been a soccer person, I am weirdly emotional about televised sports so it was very exciting. Plus, I love America, and I enjoy when my country has a good birthday weekend.
But as a non-soccer person, it’s hard to know exactly what is going on. I’ll admit it: my trough of soccer knowledge is filled with ’90s children’s entertainment. Namely, the 1995 Disney movie The Big Green, the 1992 Rodney Dangerfield vehicle Ladybugs, and this one episode of Full House. All three proved very useful as I got surprisingly into the World Cup over the last week or so.
Sometimes, Own Goals Will Happen
During England’s semifinal match against Japan, powerhouse defender Laura Bassett had the opportunity to block Japan’s kick at a critical moment. Instead, the ball deflected into her own goal, scoring one for Japan.
You know who has been there? Michelle Elizabeth Tanner of San Francisco, California, that’s who. Yes, a fictional 8-year-old from 1994. A lot of us learned about sportsmanship, life, and disappointment when Michelle triumphantly drove the ball down the field – into the wrong goal. So yeah, Michelle actually headed toward her own team’s goal, while Bassett was just doing her job but miscalculated a bit. Also England was playing in the World Cup and Michelle was playing in a rec league coached by Uncle Joey, a grown man who lives in his friend’s basement and does impressions of 50-year-old cartoon characters.
But here’s where we learn our lesson about mistakes. Michelle’s own team taunted her like a bunch of poorly-raised brats, effectively kicking off two decades of negative stereotypes about millennials. I’d expect that from Aaron, but DEREK? Not Derek. Never Derek. He’s the Yankee Doodle Boy. He’s better than that.
But in 2015, social media rallied around Bassett, who is by all accounts an amazing player who had a bad moment that could have happened to anyone. So our lesson here: sometimes, mistakes will happen, but it takes a real adult to be nice about it.
Americans Are Actually Pretty Great At Soccer
In The Big Green, an English teacher ends up in Elma, Texas, a town where all of the children are variations on the Ugly American stereotype. With the help of the town sheriff – because in tv and movies, Texas is like 50% cowboys, 49% sherriffs, 1% Tim Riggins – the kids win the championship. Yes, the AMERICAN kids. From TEXAS even. All they needed was a British schoolteacher to believe in them.
Last night, America systematically beat out every other participating country to win the World Cup. Basically the same thing. See, Americans CAN do it! Of course, those of us who checked The Big Green out at Blockbuster Video in fourth grade already knew that.
You Don’t Need A Boy On The Team
In an all-new REALLY?! With Seth And Amy, Seth Meyers and Amy Poehler shut down Andy Benoit, a man who writes about sports and decided that no women’s sports are worth watching. What an Aaron, am I right?
But Andy Benoit was born the same year as me, which means he probably grew up on Ladybugs, a movie about a girls’ soccer team coached by Rodney Dangerfield. Well, a girls’ soccer team that included one boy (Jonathan Brandis in the worst blonde bob wig in the world) pretending to be a girl named “Martha.” Yet, after Martha fessed up, you know who scores the winning goal? Kimberly. A girl.
So. Ladybugs is not a good movie. However, Andy Benoit should still know that the Ladybugs never needed Jonathan Brandis to be a winning team. The point is, maybe we just need to stick Andy in a screening room and make him watch Ladybugs on a loop until he comes around or goes completely crazy, whichever happens first.
Maybe A Ragtag Team Of Misfits Can Play Soccer After All
Because it wouldn’t be a 90s kids’ sports movie without this boy.
The Big Green and Ladybugs showed us that nonathletic losers- with grit, enthusiasm, and some uniforms – can become soccer stars. While in the World Cup, we saw that athletic, highly motivated, well-trained people – with grit, enthusiasm, and some uniforms – can become soccer stars. This is not the same thing. I think these movies seriously overstated how easy it is to become a reigning soccer champ. But those of us who watched the World Cup from our sofas, only half-understanding what was going on, pretty much already knew that.
You’re almost there, folks! Fourth of July is tomorrow, and that means not only freedom for America, but freedom from work and nearly all our responsibilities! I hope you guys have a great weekend, but to make it even better, how about a soundtrack worthy of the amount of hot dogs and hamburgs and fireworks you’ll be taking in this weekend.
In 2013, we compiled a list of our fave America-inspired and summertime-centric songs, so we’re bringing it back again for your enjoyment in 2015. Have a safe and fun July 4th, y’all!
You’re probably expecting Born in the USA. But I thought I’d throw a curveball, and also I like this song better.
Jack and Diane – John Mellencamp
This may be a little ditty about Jack and Diane (two American kids growing up in the Heartland), but apparently it’s also about the loss of innocence amongst teens. So yeah, kids in the USA go through life changing experiences, and that’s a part of American culture.
All-American Girl – Carrie Underwood
A touching tale of a boy who grows up, falls in love, gets married, and hopes for a son to carry on his football legacy, his dreams changed when he has a baby girl. An ‘All-American’ baby girl. But hey, it’s 2013, girls can play football too. Theoretically.
Summer Nights – Rascal Flatts
Fourth of July obviously means summertime, and this is a great song to play if you’re chillin in the back of your friend’s pickup truck drinking an ice cold Budwiser in the middle of a corn field. Note: I’ve never done this, I just imagine that’s what kids in the country too.
Sweet Caroline – Neil Diamond
I think my thing with Fourth of July songs is that I picked songs that everyone knows. Independence day is celebrating America- One Nation, Under God, etc. etc. What better way to come together as a whole than by singing a song together that everyone knows? In saying that, Sweet Caroline personally reminds me of the Red Sox and Fenway Park – baseball, Americana, etc. And the ‘Ba Ba Ba’? Who doesn’t love a good ‘Ba Ba Ba’?
Party in the USA – Miley Cyrus
Because, America.
Molly’s picks:
America, Fuck Yeah – Team America: World Police
On the 4th of July, you will be hearing a lot of soaring, majestic numbers about amber waves of grain and there being ain’t no doubt you love this land. Fine. But I like an America that can laugh at itself. LOL jingoism.
Under The Boardwalk – The Drifters
Independence day barbecues are all about the cheerful oldies. You need to play a selection of the summery ones – whether it’s this song, Summer In The City, Surfin’ USA, Itsy Bitsy Teeny Weeny Yellow Polka Dot Bikini … whatever it takes to make you feel like Megan Draper without all the, you know, troubles.
Electric Feel – MGMT
If I picture outdoor summer parties from the past 6 years or so, this song is always playing. I don’t know who made the rule that every 20-something’s summer party in the 2010s has to play MGMT, but the rule exists and you may as well follow it.
Summertime – DJ Jazzy Jeff & The Fresh Prince
Right?! Right.
At The Beach – The Avett Brothers
If it’s 4th of July, I need some kind of country or folksy music. It’s no wonder that the best 4th of July celebration I’ve been to was in Nashville. Something about the modern version of country/bluegrass/folk just makes me really happy to be from the good ol’ U.S. of A. So put on Devil Makes Three, or the Avett Brothers, or Father John Misty, or Old Crow Medicine Show, or whatever, and thank God that you live in America.
American Pie – Don MacLean
Everybody knows this song, everybody loves this song, and it’s one of the best singalong tunes I know. Plus the word “American” is in it so… you know.
Yesterday, we got confirmation of the rumor we hoped wasn’t true – after almost exactly 10 years of marriage, Ben Affleck and Jennifer Garner, aka Bennifer 2.0, announced they are getting a divorce. They had been dodging gossip for a while, but like any good American, we denied it was happening until it was slapping us across the face and posing as an actual problem.
Celebrity relationships have always been fascinating to me/the world, and in more recent years, specifically the psychology of why we, as a culture, are so obsessed with celebrity couples. Is it because they are the seemingly ideal, picture perfect, couple where nothing could possibly be wrong? Yes. Is it what our own #relationshipgoals aim to be? Yes. But despite all of that, why does it always feel like we are the ones ‘dying’ when it has absolutely nothing to do with us?
Today I’m looking back at some of the celebrity breakups that shook us to the core, proclaiming in all caps that LOVE IS DEAD and ‘IF THEY CAN’T MAKE IT, WHO CAN?’ to all of the Internet.
Ben Affleck and Jennifer Garner
BAEs for: 10 years of marriage
RIP: June 30th, 2015 (One day after their 10th anniversary)
Why are we upset: Ben & Jen were like the All-American couple with the three cute kids, who were Hollywood enough that made them unattainable, but had a certain level of relatability. When they first met, he was engaged to another Jennifer, but ultimately, as we know, Jen G. won his heart in the end. Or not, I guess.
Over It Meter: It just happened, so it’ll take me a while –
5 out of 5 Notebook Rain Kisses
Brad Pitt and Jennifer Aniston
BAEs for: 5 years of marriage
RIP: January 2005
OTP Moment(s): The One With Brad On Friends, any time either of them were on Oprah, that super secret wedding, all their red carpet moments
Why are we upset: Jennifer is and was the beloved star from Friends, and he was the hottest Hollywood hunk that made them the golden couple of the early 2000s. They were a couple everyone was rooting for, so when they split, it was as if an actual person had died from their break-up. Not to mention, it all went down as Brad and Angelina’s onscreen chemistry was palpable in Mr. & Mrs. Smith, leading many to cast Angie as the villain in the scenario and tabloids STILL try to Pitt (pun intended) these women against each other. But the one thing we’ve learned from all of this: we just all want to see Jennifer Aniston happy.
Over It Meter: It’s been 10 years. We’re still a little hurt.
Why are we upset: I was in college when the first High School Musical came out, and I’m not ashamed to say I loved it. And I totally stanned for Troy/Gabriella, but more so Zac/Vanessa. I thought they were going to be together forever, TBH. I was Zanessa for life. Then they broke up, and I broke up too. It was sad, and if they ever get together again in the future I WILL NOT BE SURPRISED.
Over It Meter: Like I said, it won’t surprise me if they fall back in love when they’re 35.
4 out of 5 Notebook Rain Kisses
Justin Timberlake and Britney Spears
BAEs for: 3 years of dating (why does it seem like so much longer than that?)
Why are we upset: I am a Backstreet Boys fan, but also a Britney fan, so when she started dating Justin, I was at a *Crossroads*. Luckily, this was around the time JT was about to do his own thing, so my love for him as a solo artist grew from there, but my love for them as a couple was unquantifiable.They were the prince and princess of pop music, and their coupledom is hard to beat. When they abruptly broke up (What Goes Around Comes Around), not only was it the first celeb breakup (in my lifetime) that was devastating, but it was the first time I thought ~*tRuE LoVe*~ really didn’t exist.
Over It Meter: Both JT and Brit have clearly moved on, so we should too. But they get 2 rain GIFs only because they were iconic.
2 out of 5 Notebook Rain Kisses
Ryan Phillippe and Reese Witherspoon
BAEs for: 7 years of marriage
RIP: 2006
OTP Moment(s): Cruel Intentions
Why are we upset: Cruel Intentions was one of the best cult movies of our generation. I remember secretly going to see it with my friend, whose dad bought the tickets for us because it was rated R and we weren’t 17 yet. I think I told my parents I was going to see Robin Williams’ What Dreams May Come. Anyways, Reese and Ryan were like the younger version of Jen and Brad, and we were rooting for them because their onscreen love was real offscreen too.
Over It Meter: The best part about them as a couple is their two adorable kids, including Reese’s doppelganger Ava. It’s clear they were just really young when they got married, and Reese has another cute kid with her hubs while Ryan has another kid with the girl from Pitch Perfect.
Why are we upset: This is so cliche, but Rent is one of my all-time favorite musicals, and I spent a lot of my youth listening to the OBC (Original Broadway Cast, for you non-nerds) soundtrack. When I found out that these two met, fell in love, and got married all because of the show, it made me love them even more. I was working when the news of their divorce dropped, and I had to compose my emotions for a few minutes before writing it up because I was THAT emotionally attached to these idiots.
Why are we upset: Obviously The Notebook is considered one of the best romantic films in recent history, and the onscreen/offscreen love story between Ryan and Rachel just made it that much better. We’re gonna dismiss the fact they may not have gotten along on set and just remember that they made an amazing couple. But that Best Kiss tho.
Over It Meter: This would be 5, except he has a baby with Eva Mendes now, so I guess that trumps this reunion.
Why are we upset: Oh man. This one hurt. This one hurt real bad. If you’re new to our blog, Amy is deity around here, and just one of the many reasons we love her so much is because, as you know, she’s funny. Will is equally hilarious and can actually keep up with Poehler in the comedy department (watch that Blades of Glory clip). They were up there with like, Stiller and Meara or Lucy and Desi (I just picked refs for 70 year olds). When they announced their separation, I was much like those Twitter users, declaring LOVE IS DEAD. But in the end, like Jennifer Aniston before her, we just want Amy to be happy.
Over It Meter: Amy started dating Nick Kroll about a year after separating from Will, and at the time, I thought it was a downgrade, but I’ve really come to like their relationship, and where she’s at in her life in general – with or without a man. So she and Will get:
Ever wonder what it would look like if your fave high schoolers from Newport Beach put all their feelings into song? You won’t have to wait that much longer. It was recently announced that there’s going to be a one-night-only event of The OC in musical format, in Los Angeles in August (of course conveniently when I’m back home in New York). The producers of the show are the same ones who recently did The Unauthorized Musical Parody of Cruel Intentions – you may have heard of it because Sarah Michelle Gellar, Selma Blair and Reese Witherspoon all went together and it was an epic return to 1999.
But now the producers are skipping ahead a few years to 2003, when The OC made its debut and entered the hearts of a new generation, namely, ours. I was a high school senior and this show was meant for people like me. I became obsessed as much as the next teen fan, buying into the mysterious, brooding Ryan Atwood, calling Seth Cohen the perfect nerdy dream man, and (still) having an adverse reaction anytime anyone mentions Tijuana/TJ.
As any The OC fan knows, music was a huge part of the show, which makes perfect sense as to why it’s being made into a musical. So far, the producers have cast school jock Luke, Seth’s mom Kirsten Cohen, and for some reason, show creator Josh Schwartz in some weird meta role, I guess.
For Cruel Intentions, the producers took songs from the late 90s/early 2000s to provide the soundtrack for the musical: e.g. Kathryn teasing stepbrother Sebastian with Xtina’s Genie in a Bottle and a Blaine’s gay sex scene with a BSB/’N Sync medley.
So what can we expect from The OC musical? I am in no way involved with the show at all, so this is just my best guess. If any of these do turn out to be in the show – just remember I am trademarking and copyrighting all of this. Just like Michael Scott declaring bankruptcy.
Act I
California by Phantom Planet
{Josh Schwartz}
There is no song more synonymous with The OC than its theme song, so why not start here? Creator Josh Schwartz went to USC and was also in a fraternity, so he was familiar with rich kids from Southern California. He considered himself an outsider, and got a glimpse at how real teens in Newport Beach lived, and that served as inspiration for The OC. Did you know he was 26 when the show got picked up? When I was 26, I was still binge-watching episodes of The OC. This solo is the beginning of his masterpiece.
Boulevard of Broken Dreams by Green Day
{Ryan Atwood}
In the pilot, Ryan and his brother Trey get caught stealing a car and while Trey lands in jail, Ryan is let go but since he has nowhere to go (since his dad abused him and his mom is an alcoholic with a tendency to just up and leave), his lawyer, the wealthy Sandy Cohen decides to take him in. It’s like this song is Ryan’s pre-Cohen anthem.
Over My Head (Cable Car) by The Fray
{Sandy Cohen/Kirsten Cohen and Jimmy Cooper/ Julie Cooper}
It wasn’t an easy sell for Sandy to convince Kirsten to take Ryan in – he is, after all, a troubled kid from Chino that they don’t know at all come to live in their mansion of a house and lavish lifestyle in Newport. Meanwhile, their next-door neighbors, Julie and Jimmy Cooper (who happens to by Kirsten’s former flame) are heading towards a divorce of their own. Each couple is in over their heads, but only one will ultimately survive.
Wonderwall by Oasis
{Ryan and Marissa}
Ah, the start of a beautiful friendship. When Ryan and Marissa meet for the first time, she’s outside waiting for her BF to pick her up and he’s going to smoke a cigarette, because he’s the bad boy. It’s one of the most iconic scenes from the show, so their meeting has to have its own song. After he says, ‘Whoever you want me to be’ – they separate and cue music.
I’m Shakin by Rooney
{Seth Cohen}
There aren’t many kids like Seth in Chino. He’s nerdy, into video games, super into emo music and confided in a plastic toy horse called Captain Oats. Wouldn’t it be great if the audience is introduced to a solo Seth Cohen singing and dancing alone in his room and Ryan sees him in his natural element for the first time being a total dingus?
Dirty Little Secret by All-American Rejects
{Summer and Seth}
I’m kind of jumping around in the timeline here, but let’s assume Seth and Summer skipped their whole ‘Ew! I don’t like Cohen!’ game and they’re just dating on the DL. (SIDENOTE: Rachel Bilson had a scene with Wilson Bethel aka Wade from Hart of Dixie in The OC?!?! BRAND NEW INFORMATION)
Mr. Brightside by The Killers
{Ryan, Marissa, Seth, Summer}
Setting: The Bait Shop. The four kids are watching Seth’s fave band, The Killers, play. This scene is purely of them having fun. No brooding allowed.
Welcome To My Life by Simple Plan
{Oliver Trask and Marissa}
Ugh. Oliver. He meets Marissa in therapy, and they bond because they both have problems, but as Marissa’s going to find out, he has bigger problems than her.
Hallelujah by Leonard Cohen
{Cast}
Remember how good the first season was? And remember how good this ending scene in the finale was? Ryan went back to Chino to take care of his maybe-baby with his ex-girlfriend Theresa, Seth sailed on his catamaran to Catalina (?? which I realize now isn’t as far from The OC as I thought), Summer is sad because Cohen left, Marissa moves in with her mom’s new husband and starts drinking again because Ryan left and the Cohens are left as empty nesters because both their boys are gone. CLIFFHANGER END TO THE ACT.
(END OF ACT)
::Intermission/Bake sale for Harbor School::
Act II
Maybe This Christmas by Ron Sexsmith
{Cast}
We open Act II with Christmukkah, a Cohen family tradition and one I even attempted implementing despite the fact I am not Jewish.
Ocean Avenue by Yellowcard
{Seth and Summer}
Seth and Summer briefly break up and he’s into Anna but then he realizes he’s not really into her and still loves Summer. Because they’re *meant to be*.
Portions for Foxes by Rilo Kiley
{Marissa and Summer}
A song in which the BFFs talk about sexy times with their respective men. Probably setting feminism back a bit, but this isn’t real anyways, so it’s fine.
Sugar, We’re Going Down by Fall Out Boy
{Seth and Ryan}
What’s the early 2000s without Fall Out Boy?
Hide and Seek by Imogen Heap
{Oliver, Marissa, Ryan, Sandy}
Oliver proves to be a psycho and basically locks Marissa in a room while he flails a gun around, as seen in this scene (even though this song is famously in this scene). The standoff comes to a complete halt and, as if stuck in time, they start singing a cappella, because this song will give you chills if done right a cappella.
Chasing Cars by Snow Patrol
{Ryan, Marissa, Seth, Summer}
Ryan and Marissa are rid of crazy Oliver, Seth and Summer are back in love, and everything is right with the world again.
The Sound of Settling by Death Cab for Cutie
{Cast}
Because you need that finale number that will make you want to cheer for the characters AND dance around at the same time. Also, Death Cab, is Seth Cohen’s favorite, duh.
Back in April, it was leaked that Will Ferrell and Kristen Wiig, two of America’s best awards show presenters, had secretly filmed a Lifetime movie and Will released a statement saying, “We are deeply disappointed that our planned top-secret project was made public, Kristen and I have decided it is in the best interest for everyone to forgo the project entirely.”
Fast forward to earlier this month, when a huge billboard for A Deadly Adoption popped up in Hollywood, saying the movie will air for reals on June 20 and had the tagline, “The birth of a plan gone wrong.” It debuted on Saturday night, and 2.1 million viewers tuned in, with nearly triple that during the repeats over the weekend. And we were one of those viewers.
When the secret came out in April, Will said he and Kristen were true Lifetime movie fans and the project was made out of love, but didn’t really disclose whether it was going to be a parody or a serious Lifetime-style drama. But this is what the logline is per Time Warner Cable:
A successful couple (Will Ferrell and Kristen Wiig) house and care for a pregnant woman in the hopes of adopting her unborn child, but things quickly go awry.
This sounds like every other TV movie on this network, so I was still lost. Throughout the course of the movie, I found myself asking questions and making comments outloud, since the entire thing had me quite puzzled. If you were one of the nearly 6 million viewers or are planning to watch it soon, let me know if you have similar questions, comments, concerns from A Deadly Adoption.
Question: Why does the beginning of this look like a faux commercial on SNL?
The movie starts out at the birthday party for Robert (Will) and Sarah’s (Kristen) baby daughter, and it all just seems like a set-up for a fake drug the writers on SNL are about to peddle to me. Baby Spanx, anyone?
Question: Should I be laughing at a pregnant Kristen Wiig falling into the lake?
Preggo Sarah is leading against a wooden railing on a dock over a lake, but it bows out and she falls back in slow-mo, hits a boat and falls into the water. Robert immediately runs into the lake to save her, and after a few tense seconds, she comes to – but the baby doesn’t survive. The fall was so dramatic that I wasn’t sure whether to be laughing or cry at their loss?
Concern: Robert is an alcoholic
We flash forward five years later, and we see Robert is a recovering alcoholic. I feel like this is going to come back into the main story somehow.
Concern: Robert and Sarah plan to adopt
Now that Sarah can’t have a baby, she and Robert are hoping to adopt, and they meet a girl named Bridget (Jessica Lowndes) who’s six months preggo and lives in a shelter. When Robert goes to shake her hand, she somehow accidentally breaks a picture frame, leading me to think this shattered glass might mean something.
Comment: Bridget likes kids, apparently
“I’m really overprotective when it comes to kids” – Bridget, the woman giving up her baby for adoption.
Comment: WHO THAT IS, MY BABY DADDY?
“Oh Robert, what a mess.” – Bridget says to herself while ripping Sarah’s face off the cover of a magazine. iS THAT ROBERT’S BABY IN THERE
Concern: Bridget’s boyfriend is an actual concern
The baby daddy is a tatted up bad boy who has a slight Southern drawl – why do they always have a Southern drawl. He also has a pick up truck. He is trouble with a capital T and that rhymes with P and that stand for Pool! (a little Music Man humor for you nerds).
Comment: THIS BITCH IS FAKING HER PREGNANCY
I knew her bump was too big to be six months!
Comment: Robert finds a book that he signed which reads, “To Joni: Don’t stop daring”
Okay I should’ve written this down earlier, but I so called this: Robert was out on a book tour years ago and got drunk and slept with one of his groupies – aka Bridget in a red wig. So it’s NOT Robert’s baby since she’s sans baby, but she’s definitely crazy and has infiltrated their life because she’s TOO MUCH.
Question: Why are Robert and Sarah leaving their daughter alone with Bridget?
Bridget/Joni’s on the lamb after Sully sees her wearing a fake pregnancy belly. Because she’s a genius, B/J lies to Sarah and tells her she’s taking Sully to the park, all the while telling Robert she’s taking Sully to meet Sarah at the farmer’s market. We also find out B/J planned this kidnapping with her Shane West Wannabe boyf because they want Robert and Sarah’s money. Again, WHY LEAVE YOUR CHILD WITH THIS QUESTIONABLE CHARACTER.
Concern: Sarah’s Gay Best Friend Charlie is getting too involved in the case
Sarah’s biz partner/GBF Charlie realized something was up when he saw B/J having a public couple fight with her boyfriend Dwayne. After Sully goes missing, he sees Shane West Wannabe and decides to follow him himself, opting not to tell authorities. GBF trails him to the shack they’re keeping Sully and again decides not to call for backup because this is a Lifetime movie and there’s stil 40 minutes left.
Question: WHY?
WELL THEY KILLED CHARLIE THIS IS THE WORST
Comment: Sully has diabetes, Robert makes this clear throughout the movie
Sully’s missing poster says “NEEDS INSULIN ASAP” in all caps in Impact font
Concern: B/J is going full Snapped
B/J shows up disheveled and threatens Sarah with a gun in her garage and claims Robert loves her and is gonna leave her. She also reveals she WAS pregnant after drunkly sleeping with Robert, but lost the baby a few months later. A fight ensues and B/J kills Sarah, puts her in the driver’s seat of her car, and does the good old fashioned carbon monoxide set up.
Question: Where is Robert?
B/J then goes into the house to find Robert, but honestly, he didn’t hear the commotion going on in the garage?? They had a full out girl fight. Anyways, B/J finds Robert in the house and confronts him about sleeping with her, etc. and she accidentally shoots him…?
Comment: Robert must have iron arms because he managed to save Sarah
By lifting her out like the Pieta.
Question: Why does the shot of Will Ferrell in a boat last for so long?
Robert acquired a phobia of boats and lakes and docks since Sarah’s accident, but he managed to put that away to save Sully, but all I can think is why does he look like Robert Goulet crossing a river to battle an army?
Concern: Sully’s mental state after this entire ordeal
B/J tells Sully, who is sick because she needs her insulin, that “her daddy is dead”, and when Sully tells her she’s mean, B/J’s response is, “Stop it! I am not mean! I am the only nice one! Everyone else wants to hurt us!”, like a mature woman faking her pregnancy would say to a child she kidnapped.
Comment: The commercials on Lifetime don’t even seem real
There is a real commercial for Osphena, which is a medicine for women who are having troubles having sex after menopause. Like, come on.
Comment: At least this girl has a future career on Lifetime
Seriously, she convincing for a kid actor. There’s a showdown on the bridge where B/J tells Robert to hand Sully over or else she’ll shoot him. Robert whispers something in Sully’s ear, and she starts walking towards B/J who has a gun in her hand. Then Sully suddenly runs towards the edge of the bridge and jumps into the river below and Robert soon follows. B/J is dumb and doesn’t try stopping them by shooting, but once Robert and Sully are in the speedboat, the motor doesn’t turn on.
Question: Is this Lana Del Rey in a gun fight with Wiig?
Turns out Sarah’s not dead and before B/J has a chance to kill both Sully and Robert, Sarah shoots the bitch and she falls into the river.
Question: Real or Not Real?
The end card says “inspired by a true story” … is it really? I don’t think so, but ok then.
Can you believe that tomorrow it will have been 20 years since Pocahontas? Pocahontas the movie, that is: Pocahontas the human died in like 1617. It has been two whole decades since Disney released its historically fuzzy account of a spirited Powhatan girl who gets White Man’s Burdened by a dude in that one haircut all the cute boys had in the mid-90s. Disney does a ton of research for each of their movies, but ultimately chose a ’90s-friendly interpretation of 17th Century style. So how do the 1600s look through a ’90s lens?
John Smith’s ‘Cute Boy In The ’90s’ Haircut
In 1994, all of the cute boys called a secret meeting and vowed to get That One Haircut. If you were a Tiger Beat reader or cherished your J.T.T. is H-O-T issue of Nickelodeon Magazine, you know exactly which one I’m talking about. It was center parted and layered back on the sides, so that all of the cute boys could brush it out of their eyes all of the time. Which was the haircut’s fatal flaw, I’d wager. It was always in the way. And it was in the way of EVERYONE, from Rider Strong to Christian Bale to… well, to John Smith, who must have painstakingly layered his locks in his berth below deck of that old-fashioned wooden boat. Smith has the longer, more mulletty version of the cut, favored by your more outdoorsy Cute Boys In The ’90s.
Nakoma’s Sassy Bangs
In 1995, those late ’80s/early ’90s mall bangs were fading into history. Instead, your bangs were probably either a blunt-cut fringe or wispy and curled under with a round brush. I think my right forearm is still slightly more muscular than the left because of all that time I spent scrupulously curling my bangs under into a see-through hair dome. The curled-under bangs were innocent and girly, but the blunt Betty Page fringe was the trademark of a true sass factory. That’s why Disney gave them to the movie’s requisite Sassy Best Friend.
Pocahontas’s Ink
Remember “tribal tattoos?” And how if the only tribe you were in was the National Association Of College Bros, you probably shouldn’t have gotten one? There was a time when the tribal armband circled the bicep of every college dude in the land – it was the undercut haircut and waistcoat of 1995. Now those armbands are sported by 40-something dad types who only reunite with the “tribe” on alumni weekend.
By the way, those of us who were eight years old in 1995 had the Poor Man’s Tribal Tattoo, the stretchy band from Claire’s Boutique that always ended up on your wrist if you had skinny arms.
Pocahontas and Nakoma’s Girl Band Outfits
I get that buckskin was the only fabric option or whatever. But I still love how Pocahontas and her girl Nakoma have coordinating outfits. It’s like TLC or En Vogue or Salt n Pepa, where they’d each have a slightly different outfit but made of the same material. And at least one girl always had the crop top version. We’ve established that Nakoma was the resident sassafras, so naturally it was her.
Pocahontas’s Cher Horowitz Hair Flip
The crispy permed look was dead or dying in the mid-90s. Instead, everyone wanted the perfect voluminous blowout. It was several years before we all started flat-ironing our hair into brittle sheets, and health and movement were the hair goals. Pocahontas had, hands down, the best blow-out of the era, rivaled only by Cher Horowitz herself. I know Pocahontas didn’t have an animated blowdryer or anything, but I feel like she was always standing in the wind on a cliff with multicolored leaves swirling around her and stuff, so I guess that did the trick.
That Turquoise Necklace
Here’s where Disney was phoning it in (on a land line or one of those brick cell phones, because again, 1995). They were just like “oh, Native Americans LOVE turquoise!” because that whole Southwestern decorating thing was going on. But the key there is Southwest, I mean how would Pocahontas have ended up with it in Virginia? However, teal and turquoise were oddly popular at the time, so I think it was more a matter of picking a look that would help sell licensed Halloween costumes that year.
Thomas’s Center-Parted Bowl Cut
I think if you weren’t cute enough for the Cute Boy In The 90s Haircut, they made you get the center-parted bowl cut instead.
It’s Father’s Day on Sunday, and it’s a time to celebrate and recognize all the dedication and love our fathers give to us as their children throughout the year and every year. But we all know that sometimes it isn’t rainbows and butterflies with our parents. Not everyone can be as wise and profound as the Coach Taylors and Zeek/Adam Bravermans of the world. Parents all have their moments. And on television, those moments can be dramatized to the max degree. As you shower your dad with all the food and love this weekend, just remember that it could always be worse. Your dad could be like any one of these fictional fathers, so just be grateful this Sunday that your dad doesn’t sell meth or openly cheating on your mom with multiple women.
Walter White
{Breaking Bad}
I mean, if you watched any of Breaking Bad, I don’t really have to explain why he’s on this list, do I? He started as a high school chemistry teacher with lung cancer and in the most poetic, Greek tragedy way possible, he turned into the baddest man in all of New Mexico, and possibly the world. While he claimed to be making and selling drugs to help his family, in the end he was only helping himself, and even practically kidnapped his daughter towards the end of the series. You can’t even call that bad parenting because it isn’t even parenting.
President Fitzgerald Grant
{Scandal}
It’s clear Fitz loves his kids and would do anything to help them if they’re in trouble, but when you’re the president of the United States, and you send your kids to boarding school, have a baby with the wife you don’t really like just to keep up appearances AND have an extramarital affair that said wife knows about, you have a few more cons than the pro side on the list.
George Bluth, Sr. and Oscar Bluth
{Arrested Development}
Well, here you have George Bluth, Sr., a man incarcerated for fraud and who also built houses for Saddam Hussein. He doesn’t seem to really care about his kids and is willing to put them at risk for his own benefit (this is a comedy). And then you have his twin brother Oscar, who is the real dad to Buster, who knows this and doesn’t really give af. What do you expect from this family, though?
Lou Smith
{Fresh Prince of Bel-Air}
If you ever want a good cry, watch this clip. Will was so much better for moving out to Bel-Air, and it makes my heart cry fictional tears knowing the real Uncle Phil/James Avery has passed away 😦
Christopher Hayden
{Gilmore Girls}
Ok, in his defense, he did become a better father throughout the series. However in the beginning, he was just some guy in a motorcycle who couldn’t hold a job and left Lorelai to take care of Rory on her own. Again, they were 16, so I guess he has *sort of* an excuse, but not really. Luckily, Christopher made up for it in the later years, but he was still douchey in the beginning. #LukeAndLorelaiForever
Joe McCoy
{Friday Night Lights}
Sometimes, when I rewatch season three of FNL, I fast forward through the JD/Joe McCoy parts because he’s just that annoying. Joe is the father to star quarterback and new Dillon Panthers player JD, and Joe is like a stage/dance mom but in the football field. He’s overprotective, overbearing, and a downright asshole. He put a lot of pressure on JD to do well on the team, and doesn’t even allow him to drink soda or eat candy or watch TV because it will make him distracted from football. Also, no girls – which was proven in the ep where Joe gets mad JD’s dating a girl, and he ends up physically hurting him and the American treasures the Taylors have to call child protective services. He’s a delight.
Mike Potter
{Dawson’s Creek}
Joey’s dad not only cheated on her mom/his wife before she died, he also got caught for selling drugs, which is why he is in jail. He gets released at the end of season one, but then starts dealing drugs again and Joey is the one who turns him in, because that’s what daughter’s do. He’s in jail for a majority of the rest of the season, until Joey goes to talk to him and finds out he got released but didn’t tell anyone. Not even his daughters.
Bart Bass
{Gossip Girl}
Honestly, so much shit went down on Gossip Girl that I hardly remember what happened. I don’t think I even knew what was happening when the show was on the air. I do remember that Bart was always an asshole, especially to his son Chuck, who he lied to about being dead, took back Bass Industries from him and tried to maybe kill him? IDK, he just looks skeezy, ya know?
Thatcher Grey
{Grey’s Anatomy}
So Meredith Grey hasn’t had a life that’s been ideal. Her aesthetic is more dark and twisted. A lot of that has to do with her parents. First her mom, the revered surgeon Dr. Ellis Grey, had an affair with Dr. Richard Webber and they had a secret daughter no one knew about, and after they broke up, Ellis attempted suicide and a young Meredith watched it all happen. Then she got Alzheimer’s and on top of all this, Ellis was overbearing and thought Meredith was “ordinary”. Enter Thatcher, who left when Mer was five years old, and didn’t even attempt to contact her for 20 years. He remarried and had two daughters, including Lexie, who would later work at Seattle Grace/Mercy West/Grey Sloan Memorial. He’s also an alcoholic, and a few seasons in, he comes to the hospital in hopes of getting a liver transplant. He returned to the hospital when his wife had weird symptoms, which turned out to be a weird fatal thing and got mad at Mer and blamed her for her death (see scene above).
Don Draper
{Mad Men}
It’s barely been a month and I still miss Don. He’s like Fitz, where I know he’s doing morally wrong things, but I can’t help but sympathize and like him. Don didn’t have a father or mother figure of his own growing up as the illegitimate son of a prostitute. He barely had a family, and as a result, didn’t know what to do when he actually had one. The only kid he’s even close to at all is Sally, and that wasn’t until later on in the series. Not to mention he slept with her teacher and then left his door open for Sally to see him having sex with his neighbor. Plus Baby Gene was born out of sloppy sex on the floor of Betty’s parents’ home. Bobby was basically irrelevant based on the actor turnover alone. Don especially seemed to neglect his kids after his split with Betty, and as much as he tried, it seemed like he was just going through the motions of being a father rather than really trying to be a good one.
As far as we’re concerned, the hills are always alive with the sound of music. We both grew up on the Julie Andrews classic, and last year we live blogged NBC’s attempt at a live action production. Traci even took a Sound of Music tour in Europe. But something had escaped us until now: the 1956 German version of the story, Die Trapp-Familie. The later American film and musical, The Sound Of Music, is not a word-by-word remake of Die Trapp Familie – it is just based on the same story – so we needed to know what was different!
Where curiosity knocks, YouTube answers … and we live blog. Enjoy!
M: Okay, one similarity between Die Trapp Familie and every American movie from the 50s: those 10-minute-long opening credits over scenery where they show the credit for every cast and crew member. I applaud whoever first moved those to the end.
This, basically.
M: Maria teaches a class full of kids, which makes a nice set up for her later dealings with the Von Trapp kids.
One plus of closed captioning: they can explain the translations that require a bit of cultural context. For instance, little Austrian kids say “devil” and “thunderstorm,” which – who knew? – are “mild expressions of anger.” Maybe the captioner realized that German always sounds a little angry if your ears are usually tuned into English.
I can totally picture a little 1940s child saying “oh, thunderstorms!” when he is expressing mild anger.
T: Maria is told ‘Girls shouldn’t whistle at all!’ because God Hates Whistling was the original God Hates F*gs.
M: I might be losing it, but in the scene with the abbess, you can almost tell exactly what’s being said without even reading the captions. Maybe it’s because I’ve seen The Sound Of Music one too many times. But seriously, would they please sing “How Do You Solve A Problem Like Maria?”
M: Maria’s traveling outfit looks like it was stolen from Thoroughly Modern Millie. Also one of the items she packs appears to be a stick with some streamers on it. Is this a German thing I don’t know about, maybe? It’s like when a kid packs to run away from home, and they bring a teddy bear and, like, a handful of Connect 4 tokens.
T: This version of Maria is also much more aloof than the Julie Andrews version – not only is she whistling, but she’s sliding down staircases because she thinks it’ll get her to the chapel faster.
M: This version was filmed a lot closer to World War II than The Sound Of Music, AND it’s a German production. Things were still very touchy in the post-war period, so now I’m very interested to see how it’s handled.
T: Captain Von Trapp is very non-Captain like? Or is it because I’m so accustomed to Christopher Plummer? This dude seems more like an awkward and trepidatious waiter from Sardi’s.
M: Oh man, the entrance of the Von Trapp kids is just as good in this version, and is actually barely different from the American scene. I’m thinking either (1) both are pretty true to life, (2) the Sound Of Music was actually heavily influenced by Die Trapp Familie, or (3) as a matter of course, all children used to enter rooms in single file lines wearing matching pert sailor suits.
T: This is the trippiest version of Sound of Music I’ve ever seen.
M: NEW NAME ALERT. Rupert = Friedrich; Werner = Kurt, Agatha = Liesl, Hedwig = Brigitta, Maria = Louisa, Rosemarie = Marta, Martina = Gretl. These are actually the real Von Trapp kids’ names (I looked it up). Except, for some reason, “Rosemarie,” whose real name was Johanna. Makes sense.
So, the American version traded up for an even MORE stereotypical Austrian/German name than each child’s real name. Except Hedwig, which is pretty hardcore.
T: For some reason, in my head I’m confusing this movie with both Annie and Sister Act.
M: Maria has abandoned her Daisy Buchanan travel dress and she’s broken out the dirndl. Now they’re all ready to do whatever the Die Trapp Familie version of Do Re Mi is. But first: curtain outfits. Or in this case, table cloth outfits.
This fabric.
T: OMGGG this is so boring without the music. Also maybe because I don’t speak German?
M: I’m still disappointed nobody went to the hills to sing Do Re Mi. There’s a thunderstorm, so I have to hope that maybe some singing will happen?
T: ONE CAN ONLY HOPE.
M: NEVER MIND. The primary lyrics in what we know as the My Favorite Things scene: “Hop, hop, hop. Horsie, Run, Gallop!” It does sound marginally better in German.
T: Also the captain is a horrible actor and doesn’t have an ounce of chemistry with the Baroness, who is much older. Also he doesn’t have chemistry with Maria either. Will there be a twist where they don’t actually end up together in the end??
M: Die kinder are “playing u-boat.” This is not a joke based on cultural stereotype.
T: I mean, IDK about you, but I personally played “pagoda” and wore rice hats on the reg.
M: Oh, we used to play potato famine. You just didn’t eat potatoes.
When the kids finally DO sing, they are harmonizing much more nicely than in the American movie. Not-Gretl has a cute voice. She’s my favorite. Also, the stick with streamers was just the end of her guitar. OOPS.
T: “The country bumpkin is leaving!” – She’s a nun, folks.
Boys aren’t allowed to be with the girls? WHY IS THIS A RULE AMONG SIBLINGS
M: Creepy.
T: The Captain is sneezing and if I didn’t know the end of this already, I’d assume it was foreshadowing for some kind of pneumonia that kills him.
M: Christmas scene! They trim one of those old-fashioned trees that’s shaped like the cross between a shrub and a sea-monster. With live candles. And…a sparkler? Captain holds the lit sparkler at Maria’s face while she talks longingly at him.
I AM FIVE YEARS OLD
THIS IS NOT A GOOD ACTIVITY.
T: The Captain’s randomly lit sparkler is dangerously close to both him and Maria. Why even does he have this and why did he find it necessary to light at this very moment.
M: Fun fact: the children sing Silent Night – original German lyrics of course, but the captions directly translate the German lyrics. “The faithful, highly holy parents, who gaze on a beautiful child with curly hair.” Eh, it’s no “adieu, adieu, to you and you and you-oo,” but it’ll do.
See, this is why translation software like Smartling takes context into account. Because these word-by-word translations are just awkward. Though I did like learning “oh, thunderstorms!” as a mild expression of anger.
M: With all of the scenes the American version uses, I’m really surprised they don’t use this one. I mean. CHRISTMAS. Maybe some of the Austrian traditions would just come across weird to U.S. audiences. Like the Captain giving every child in the village wooden clogs in Maria’s name. That IS an Austrian tradition, right?
T: “Every child in the abbey today receives a pair of sturdy clogs in your name” AUSTRIA: WHERE EVERY CHILD WANTS A STURDY PAIR OF CLOGS
M: The children put on a play, but they’re shadows behind a sheet, and they are accompanied by Maria on the …. I’m calling it a harpsichord. I guess it’s supposed to be charming and innocent, but it’s creepy instead.
T: The kids are putting on a shadow play of Sleeping Beauty. I don’t know anything about Austrian Christmas traditions, but is this really one of them?
M: Well, the American adaptation of the story had to cut something to fit in all those “auf wiedersehen, good nights.”
T: I appreciate that one of these kids plays the recorder. Can anyone in America say their 5th grade recorder lesson in music class helps them today in their recorder careers???
This Baroness bitch just told Maria to act in a more restrained manner around the Captain, and tells her he’s in love with her. Maria is shocked, SHOCKED to learn this, and her initial reaction is to leave ASAP.
“My dear child, you may know your prayer book, but about yourself, you know nothing.” – The Baroness, a little shit stirrer.
I feel like everything is happening super fast now and all of a sudden the Captain’s in love with Maria. In SoM that didn’t happen until at LEAST the 3rd hour.
Maria consults with Mother Abbess on matters of the heart, and after their convo, she goes back to the Captain and tells him Mother Abs told her she “must” marry him. I mean, okay.
This whole agreeing to marry each other before kissing this is just so foreign. Not just because this is in German.
M: I hate it. Captain and Maria get engaged, they kiss finally, the kinder cheer. The nuns get Maria all gussied up for the wedding (it’s a 1950s German movie kind of gussied).
CHEMISTRY.
T: The wedding just ended and they cut to a crying baby, because they have one now. And the Captain basically just confronted Maria about not paying attention to him enough as she freaking feeds their baby with a bottle.
M: Die Kinder are really getting into their singing, but it’s much more churchy and less catchy than in the American version.
T: For the first time, seeing the kids all together and singing and playing instruments is extremely creepy to me, for some reason? It’s got a similar sweatshop vibe but not as harsh…?
M: I haven’t counted how many times die kinder have sang the word hallelujah but we’re well into the dozens, maybe hundreds. Makes “la, a word to follow so” feel positively inspired.
T: I must’ve missed something because the “Doctor” who is dressed like a Priest is now conducting the kids, and he’s making them harmonize at the dinner table. Literally these kids are eating soup and he’s making them practice.
M: Delicious irony: Captain, in his mahogany and leather library, saying “we are poor people.” DRAMATIC.
T: I feel like because I’ve been watching this for so long (like an hour) I’m starting to understand German. This couldn’t be farther from the truth. I understand the words ‘ya’ and ‘Maria’.
M: Me too! I think it’s because my ear is picking up any word that is the same as in English – plus the, like, 5 German words I know.
M: Now the house is going to become a B&B, I suppose. Whatever, fine.
T: And the head butler now works at Reception and a bunch of Italians are the first guests. Is this seriously what happened???
Two of the boys see a sign on their travels about a singing competition and one of the kids says “it’ll be good advertising for the inn”, since that’s what their lives have come to now.
Is anyone going to sing Edelweiss or….?
M: Werner is crying before a performance. Werner WOULD. But they pull it together and sing a folk song (?) about hunting. With the kids lined up I can see that they were aged up a bit in the American movie. Was that specifically so they could do a teen plotline with Liesl, like soap operas do in the summer? Because in Die Trapp Familie, she looks more like 12 going on 13, tops.
T: “Bow-wow run you rabbits run you deer as fast as you can in the brambles! Else the huntsman comes with his flint musket and he shoots after you! Tra-ra, tra-ra!” WUT.
M: UGH. So… Nazis? Gonna happen?
M: Ah, here we go. Captain refuses to ‘heil’ at a guy in lederhosen. Well done, Die Trapp Familie.
T: YOOO FRANZ HAS BEEN A SECRET NAZI FOR THE PAST THREE YEARS
So we don’t get to see the fam hide in the convent? The police are there but Franz tells them they’re out and def not hiding in the library. And they trust him because he’s wearing a Nazi pin. Okay, Franz. I take the Tyra gif back.
Also, the set of this house looks like the Sound of Music Live! I haven’t decided if that’s a good thing or not.
T: The Von Trapps make it to America, and we know this because of the realistic Statue of Liberty outside the window.
M: I already feel like the escape will be a lot less interesting without Rolf. But major bonus: we get to see Maria waiting to leave at some sort of American embassy or lounge. There’s jazz music, American flags, and men smoking cigars. Basically, the first ever America-themed party.
“A real attraction – a choir in leather shorts!” – The American dude who’s speaking in German
M: Germany: where the most harrowing part of the movie is an inefficient and slow bureaucracy. The family is holed up at the embassy (?) waiting for entry.
The American representative is speaking German, but he has that growelly, extra-rhotic “American” accent that happens when British people do a bad American impersonation.
T: It’s SO distracting!!
M: Oh. It’s Ellis Island? I missed something. The Americans are all dressed like friends of the Rat Pack: high waisted slacks, trilby hats, wide ties, pocket squares. The phrase “come on!” is not translated into German, because it transcends language, I suppose.
T: Again, did this whole thing go down at Ellis Island, because singing here to stay in the U.S. seems a little extreme.
M: The kids sing at Ellis Island, and the American execs gaze at them with hearts or maybe dollar signs in their eyes. Looks like die kinder Trapp are going to become the Von Trapp kids after all.
T: Do you think the baby Von Trapp is going to be part of this too because I’m starting to think they’ve just been holding a large down pillow this entire time.
M: YOOO I missed the baby and honestly thought he was clutching a pillow to his breast.
Representatives of all the nations of the world are in the embassy, like a full set of those Madame Alexander dolls in ethnic dress. And they all watch with tears of joy glistening in their eyeballs. Die kinder sing for.ev.er.
T: They sing for.ev.er. and it’s the creepy kind of singing that will for.ev.er. haunt me in my German-speaking dreams.
M: For the final performance, the kids sing this movie’s equivalent of So Long, Farewell. Except it’s Brahms’ lullaby instead. All the sentiment, none of the snap. Actually, that sums up my take on this movie in general. It doesn’t have the catchy Rodgers and Hammerstein tunes, but it’s still a sweet story with the same beautiful technicolor scenery. If you don’t mind reading your movies – or want to test out your semesters of college German – I’d say it’s worth 90 minutes.
T: Yeah, and this So Long, Farewell version has the lyrics, ‘Tomorrow morning, if it’s God’s will, you’ll be awakened again.’ Why do all these tunes sound so morbid to me?! Plus Maria breaks the fourth wall and says ‘Gud nacht’ into the camera. But I pretty much agree with Molly – it’s a sweet story, and if you’re into this kind of biopic, you’ll like it. But I think I was comparing it to Sound of Music too much, which obviously isn’t the way to go into this, but alas, here we are. TBH, I got bored in the beginning and had to stop and start again, but hey, different strokes for different kinder.
June 14th, 2000 – the day The Real World: New Orleans premiered on MTV. It’s been 15 years since we were introduced to the true story of seven strangers – David, Melissa, Kelley, Jamie, Danny, Matt and Julie – and found out what happened when they stopped being polite and started getting real.
Turns out that story became one of the most memorable seasons of the groundbreaking reality show, and my personal favorite. I was the kid who watched too much TV when I was younger – not only a lot of it, but probably stuff that was out of my demographic. The first season of The Real World I watched was season four, in London, like, in real time. It was 1995 and I was nine years old. By 2000, I was a seasoned vet of TRW, and the New Orleans cast/show spoke to me on a deep level. It probably had a lot to do with Melissa, but we’ll get to that in a bit.
When I moved from Boston to LA about six years ago, my two friends and I stopped in New Orleans on our road trip, and I had to put the Belfort Mansion on the To Do list. The house is a huge two-story 19th century Greek revival mansion in the Garden District, and when producers found it, owners were in the process of turning it from apartments to a single-family house. This is what it looked like during filming: After the cast moved out, it took about four and a half years to turn it into the single-fam residence, and that’s what it is today. This is what it looked like in 2009 when we creepily stood outside and took pix of ourselves in front of it:
The color is more beige in person, and the “Belfort” sign on the door is gone. So now that you know what the mansion is up to these days, let’s take a look at what the Real 7 at 7 are up to today.
David Broom
Then: A student from Chicago who had a 4.0 GPA, didn’t drink or smoke, as working out was his vice. He was known as a ladies man and aspiring musician, as evidenced by his classic hit, Come On Be My Baby Tonight.
Now: David now goes by the name, Tokyo Niyeli, a nickname given to him by his friends because of his love for Japanese anime. He lives in Chicago and continues to do some work with MTV, but he’s also a YouTube personality, thanks to yet another moniker, Chef Showtime. He’s combined his love of cooking and music into one by creating videos of original tunes with recipes of his favorite foods, like this apple pie. It’s actually annoyingly catchy, just like Come On Be My Baby Tonight, which I still think about and sing outloud to this day.
Melissa Howard
Then: Originally from Tampa, Florida, Melissa was known for bringing comic relief to the house, and is possibly the funniest person to have ever been featured on TRW. She liked to paint, was often the center of attention, and butted heads with David. Often.
Now: Melissa moved to Los Angeles after TWR to be a stand-up comedian, and when she was a guest on The Late Show with Craig Kilborn, she straight up asked for a job, and ended up working as a PA on The Jamie Foxx Show. Later, she became a cast member of Oxygen’s prank show Girls Behaving Badly, and later appeared on Bravo’s Battle of the Network Reality Stars. In 2007, she married Glassjaw rocker Justin Beck, and converted to Judaism. They live in Long Island, and they have two daughters – Shalom, 6, and Maja, 2. She is an excellent writer and her pieces can be found on her personal Tumblr here.
Kelley Limp
Then: A sorority girl from Arkansas who was steadily dating a medical student called Peter throughout her time in the house. She became BFFs with gay friend Danny, and had an aspiring career in broadcast journalism.
Now: After the show, she was a caterer and event planner, and eventually moved into being a life coach. Scored big time after marrying actor Scott ‘Dimples’ Wolf in 2004. They live in Los Angeles with their three really super cute kids.
Jamie Murray
Then: A web entrepreneur from Illinois who had that haircut all the cute boys had in the 2000s. Melissa had a crush on him, but he always brushed it off.
Now: Jamie is still in Chicago and works for Internet company Pauwow.com, which apparently is ” easiest and most conclusive way to poll your friends on Facebook.”
Danny Roberts
Then: Gorgeous, southern boy from Atlanta, who is close to his mother, but not so much with his father. He’s BFF with Kelley, and was secretly dating Paul, an officer in the military, whose face had to be blurred out to protect his identity thanks to the Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell Policy. Four years after TRW, he and Paul appeared in an MTV special in which Paul revealed his identity.
Now: Still gorgeous and still based in Atlanta. He scored a few acting jobs, including a season four cameo as a ‘French’ guy in Dawson’s Creek, and toured schools talking about diversity in sexuality, coming out, and public policy, particularly Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell. He jumped from career to career, working at a corporate non-profit foundation, to working as a recruiter for real estate website Redfin, and now he works as a talent scout at MailChimp (Yes, that MailChimp). In 2013, he married someone he became friends with in college, and reconnected with after TRW. He also goes by Jason Danny Roberts, his real name, now.
Matt Smith
Then: Despite looking like a ska/punk rocker with crazy shirts, the Georgia Tech web design student was a devout Catholic who was a big hip-hop fanatic. Julie had a crush on Matt, but he treated her more like her protective brother.
Now: Matt is the founder/CEO of smithHOUSE, a Phoenix-based design focusing on mobile, web, social media, and branding. He is happily married with four daughters who are really super cute. You can keep up with him via his blog, on which he still calls himself a ‘hip-hop mogul’.
Julie Stoffer
Then: The Mormon girl from BYU. Because of the school’s strict policies, she was constantly worried about her living with men on the show, which goes against the school honor code. She was the ‘innocent’ one and arguably learned a lot from being in the ‘real world’ the most out of all her castmates. She flirted with Matt a lot, but alas, he’s just not that into you.
Now: After appearing in a Real World/Road Rules Challenge or two, and co-hosted G4’s video game-centred show, Electric Playground. She ended up transferring to University of Connecticut, and in 2004, she married Spencer Rogers, an ophthalmologist. His work has taken them across the country, where they lived in Northern California, and currently live in San Luis Obispo, along with their daughter Evelyn and son Westley. Oh, she also changed her name to Juliet.
BONUS:
Some of my fave moments from the show, all happen to feature Melissa. She’s said in an interview that after she saw Ruthie on TRW: Hawaii, a fellow ‘brown girl’, she thought she had a shot of being on the show too. For me, it was one of the first times I had seen a young Filipino girl/woman on TV, and I found her fascinating. Her impressions of her mother, Mercy, was so familiar to me because I knew her. I knew Mercy in real life, not necessarily in my own mother, but parts of her, her friends and relatives. Melissa’s humor was also something I related to, because that is also my default quality. So, here it is, maybe my favorite moment from the season, and all of TRW (that I’ve seen). There are so many things to love about this, the kertanging, the friend playing the computer, Jamie and Kelley listening to David, but the best is Melissa’s comedic commentary.
Welcome back, kids! Thanks for waiting it out, I know we left you with a cliffhanger from the first part of the ATX Television Festival Wrap-Up, so I appreciate your patience. We packed a lot in over the weekend, so here’s the breakdown of the second half of the fest, including that surreal Gilmore Girls reunion and a lot of Dawson’s Creek goodness!
Here’s a picture to prove we did some sightseeing in Austin, not just celeb-sightseeing!
After seeing writer Wendy Calhoun at the Empire panel, we were so enamored with her that we decided to follow her to the Diversity in Progress panel, featuring Wendy, Power creator Courtney Kemp Agboh, and Men in Trees creator/What a Girl Wants screenwriter Jenny Bicks. In an industry dominated by white males, these three women, two of whom are black, discussed their personal stories of going up the ladder in an environment which isn’t necessarily in their favor.
Across the board, their advice was to just be yourself – that obviously doesn’t just apply to writers. For example, if you’re a writer who wants to go on Empire, but you’re a young white woman who isn’t too familiar with hip-hop, don’t go into the interview pretending you’re basically Eminem and an expert. Because if you do get hired, and you’re in the room and they figure you out – you’re going to get fired anyways.
Courtney talked about how she needed to hire a white woman on her show, Power, but she couldn’t get a single person to accept the job. She offered a lucrative salary, but none of them wanted to take it, because they probs didn’t think they were qualified to write on a show about black people. But her point is that she can write about black people – she’s all set on that – it’s the young, white woman perspective she needs, and that’s why she set out for that type of writer, saying, “It’s important to have the diversity of the writers room to reflect the DNA of the show.”
Other little nuggets:
“Excellence is the equalizer. You go out and you kill it.” Courtney Kemp Agboh
“There’s no diversity in Hollywood, because the only color in Hollywood is green.” Wendy Calhoun
Dawson’s Creek Writers Room
Waiting in line to get in – Molly sent me this book like three years ago, and I thought it was appropriate to bring on the trip for some light reading.
Some of the writers from Dawson’s Creek, including creator Kevin Williamson, co-executive producer Paul Stupin, Jenny Bicks, Rob Thomas (of Veronica Mars fame), Gina Fattore and Anna Fricke, came together to discuss the six-season run of the teen drama (which I finally watched for the first time last year).
The Vampire Diaries’ ep Julie Plec grilling her bud Kevin Williamson and the other DC writers
It was interesting to see this group, since all of them – sans Paul – were there for different seasons and covered such different ground. E.g., Kevin left at the end of season two, and only one person survived in the room (Arrow’s Greg Berlanti), Rob was there for a season, Gina (who apparently wrote two of my fave eps – both Pacey/Joey centered – True Love (season 3 finale) and Castaways (the K-Mart lock-in)) was there from season three til the end.
Highlights
– Kevin Williamson kind of just made up the pitch to the show about his life. He was Dawson, also an aspiring filmmaker and from a small town. He said each character had a piece of himself – except the gay side of him – enter Jack McPhee. But KW was the only person who knew Jack was gay when he wrote the part, he didn’t even tell Kerr Smith. In fact, Jack’s coming out story was based on KW’s own story, and the whole plot with the letter in class was direct from Greg Berlanti coming out as a teen. Also – it’s not a coincidence KW picked to male names – Dawson and Joey – to be the lead characters.
– DC was originally picked up by Fox, but they passed because they were “already struggling with Party of Five and didn’t need another one.” About two years later, a new network called WB (now the CW) picked up the pilot.
– As part of a type of hazing process, one consulting producer wanted to have all the writers pretend they were Scientologists to trick the newbies. #ClearEyesClearHeartsXenu
– “A Jim Belushi character – when that name meant something” – original one-line description for Pacey Witter. KW also said, “I always wanted Pacey to have that Officer and a Gentleman feel. … The whole second season was, as I call it, ‘Pacey’s Pond.'”
“Charlie (Chad Michael Murray) was in a band!” – Gina
“And Pacey was a stockbroker!” – Julie
“Yeah, how did that happen?” – Kevin, creator of the GD show
– Listen, people have regrets. The writers’ regrets include introducing Eve and Pacey becoming a stockbroker. “We were really into the movie Boiler Room,” Anna said, attempting to defend herself.
– Generally speaking, nobody knows what was up with season three. Nobody. They attribute some of the weird choices to groupthink in the writers’ room.
– Andie McPhee was supposed to have a shorter character arc, but they all loved working with Meredith Monroe so much that they kept finding ways to keep her around. They filmed a scene with her for the finale, but it was cut for time. The whole purpose of the Andie character was to make Pacey learn responsibility and grow up.
– The writers thought about bringing Jen’s gramps back to life from a coma – and on a ventilator – in season one, but Paul said, “As the episodes went on, we couldn’t find a way to revive granddad, but then in the finale he comes out of his coma for five minutes and dies!”
– The original theme song was supposed to be Alanis Morissette’s Hand in My Pocket. After the WB used Paula Cole’s I Don’t Want to Wait for promos before the pilot aired, the song became a hit and they used Paula’s song moving forward.
– They tried to rerecord I Don’t Want To Wait several seasons in, but the result was just a little too angsty.
– Kevin agreed to come back to write the final two episodes of the series, and for all y’all against Jen’s death *spoiler alert?*, he says he created the show as a “coming of age story”, and the group had never had to deal with the death of someone in their circle. Her death also forced Joey to make a choice between Pacey and Dawson…
– Paul said Dawson/Joey had always been end game from the beginning. Halfway through, KW called Paul and said he changed his mind. KW: “Guys, my mother hates me. She went to her grave hating me for that.” He added, “Dawson seemed like the obvious answer and once I got into writing the first hour (of the finale). … This isn’t what the show set up to be. Maybe that’s where it started but it evolved and it ended up as something else (DO YOU HEAR THAT HOW I MET YOUR MOTHER WRITERS). I wanted it to be a twist on the teen genre but also wanted it to be surprising, honest and real and say something about soul mates and what soul mates can be. That’s why we did it that way. When you left the show in that last moment, they’re a family and everyone got what they wanted. There was fulfillment and they were all happy.”
Gilmore Girls Reunion
Ok, here it is. The reunion we had been waiting LIT’RALLY YEARS for. So in a nutshell – the panels/screenings at the fest have tickets that guarantee you admission. They put 1/3 of the capacity online a week before the fest, but because this was the main event, these tickets sold out in seconds. Neither of us got the tickets, which meant we’d have to be in the stand-by line. I wasn’t concerned, because never in my three years at the fest had I ever been turned away from a panel (except for earlier that day when we got shunned from Coffee with Amy and met Luke instead). No one was allowed to get in line until 5p (the reunion started at 7p), but it was complete and utter chaos – none of the volunteers/staff would tell anyone anything, it was a shitload of crazy fans who wanted to get in, and it was also like 10,000 degrees (give or take a few). Needless to say, everyone was on edge. And this is how far back we were in line:
The theatre is a block up, and around the corner. There were probably like 400-500 people ahead of us in the STAND-BY LINE (I’m horrible at guesstimating, it was a lot). Like you do at these type of things, you talk to the folks around you, you witness a car accident or two (seriously), you get handed free Pop Tarts (LIKE LOR AND RORY’S FAVE)…
… and then slowly the line moves, and you have hope you’ll get in soon and then it gets to be 7pm and you’re practically still a mile away and you start to get nervous for the first time. And then you hear people screaming at the front of the line, and then you realize a group of people walking to the right of the line as the screams follow and you realize LUKE DANES HAS FOLLOWED YOU TO THE LINE AND HE’S LIT’RALLY COMING BY AND SAYING HI TO ALL THE FANS AND THANKED THEM/US FOR WAITING SO LONG OUTSIDE AND HE SAYS ‘I DON’T KNOW IF YOU GUYS ARE GONNA GET IN BUT THANK YOU FOR COMING’ AND HE SHAKES YOUR HAND AGAIN BECAUSE THIS IS YOUR LIFE NOW.
[Note: we theorized that they would possibly send Scott around first to break the news that you might not get in, then maybe in 15 minutes Lauren would come by and be all “I don’t know, doesn’t look great, guys” then finally Alexis will stroll by and be like “sorry, didn’t work out, thanks for trying.” You know, so that people didn’t lash out at the volunteers instead. In hindsight, they maybe should have done this.]
I’m not joking when I say that it got to be around 7:15-ish (15 mins past start time) when we both started to get so nervous – like I might vomit and cry if we don’t get in – nervous. Every step we took closer to the doors was like a step out of the desert oasis and towards a real non-mirage lake that had been the mecca you had been journeying towards for years. Then, it happened. They let us in – the volunteers were lined up giving us high fives as if we had just finished a marathon. We made it. We made it and we were legit probably the last 50-100 or so people let in, sitting in the back balcony. Far away, but we were there. We made it.
The panel started out with the opening credits of the show, Carole King etc., but the names included all the people at the panel. I got chills then and I get chills now thinking about how everyone in that 1,300 seat theater was singing/screaming along to the song – it was electric. I was tearing up already. As TV fans, we don’t often get the chance to watch a show with hundreds of superfans like you do in the movies or theater. This is the type of place I want to be. Arielle Kebbel, who played Dean’s wife Lindsay, is an ATX advisory board member and came out to help intro the panel. First up, the moderator, Jessica Shaw from Entertainment Weekly, sat down with Amy and the three generations of Gilmore women – Lauren, Alexis and Kelly.
Highlights:
– Lauren was up for the part of Lorelai with one other actress. Following one of the final auditions, the other unnamed woman didn’t have a car so she asked Lauren for a ride. While LG was driving her home, she got a call on her cell phone – from the producers. But she obviously couldn’t pick it up in the event they were telling her she got the job. Could’ve been awk sauce.
– There was another Dean – two Canadian Deans – in the pilot, since they shot it in Canada.
– Alexis was super green going into the pilot, and among other things, didn’t realize the mics were still hot when she wasn’t on camera and in the bathroom. LG made a Robert Durst joke, as if I couldn’t love her even more.
“It was leafing season.” – ASP
“… You mean ‘fall’??” LG
“… It was fall…” ASP
– When asked what gets quoted to them the most, the answer is ‘Oy with the poodles already!‘, to which LG said, “Why did I say it and why do you people like it so much?” A fan also yelled out “Copperboom!” (one of my personal faves) and Alexis said, “What’s Copperboom?”. Fans proceeded to explain it and it didn’t really work, she still probs has no idea what it means.
– They talked about the late Ed Hermann, and how they were all surprised to find out he had died of brain cancer. Amy said Ed was the first person who said he would be at the panel, and it was clear they were all still emotional about his death. LG was even crying a little. Amy put together a montage of her favorite Richard Gilmore moments, ending with this scene from S5, Wedding Bell Blues, where Richard dedicates the song to Emily and they have a sweet dance. As the song went on, a montage of other shots of him throughout the series flashed and that’s when I lost it. It was such a moving tribute, and so sad that he’s gone.
Since it was just the four ladies and moderator Jessica on stage, the curtain behind them was lifted, to reveal seats for everyone, including the actual signs from the set (I think). I was EMOSH.
Here’s a video of their intros, and apologies in advance for the screaming and non-focus in the beginning because I HAD ABSOLUTELY NO CHILL.
Highlights:
– The Dean/Jess/Logan debate:
Jared Padalecki: “I was always a Team Jess guy. I love Milo. I think he’s cool and sexy and handsome.”
Milo Ventimiglia: “Logan was a dick. But I don’t know… I was kind of rooting for everyone. ”
Matt Czuchry: “I saw something Amy said recently about how the right boyfriend came along at the right time. That’s kind of what I feel, between Jess and Dean and Logan. They each brought something out in Rory that she needed at that time… But I was also kind of Team Jess.”
Scott Patterson: “None of you are good enough for Rory.”
LUKE IS STILL LOOKIN OUT FOR RORY, Y’ALL.
(*Ed. note: Guys, I am rewatching the panel whilst writing this, and I’ve had to stop the part where they talk about Luke and Lorelai thrice and have yelled out ‘I CANNOT’ to myself because I lit’rally cannot)
– Danny (Doyle), who created Empire, is asked what would happen if Cookie walked into Stars Hollow, and basically she would “mess shit up”.
– On where each of their characters would be today:
Rory: Still a journalist
Emily: She and Richard would be in the exact same place, since they’re comfortable with their country clubs, etc. But Kelly added, “But now, Emily’s a widow, so that’s a whole other world, so I don’t know where she is.” ALL THE FREAKING TEARS.
Luke: *Scott has a long backstory he’s clearly thought about which involves either still running the diner or moved to a lake and re-opened Luke’s as a bait-and-tackle shop, etc.* before Lauren interrupted him and said, ‘Does he have a girlfriend?’
hi tyler oakley
Jess: “Jess is just out being Jess… and then walking away when too many people show up.”
Lane: She’s trying to figure out what kind of mom she wants to be. She wants to be Lorelai but in her heart she’s a little Mrs. Kim. She hopes she’s still playing music with Hep Alien. *HOLY CRAP KEIKO AGENA IS 41 YEARS OLD WTF. SHE’S SEVEN YEARS YOUNGER THAN LAUREN, THREE YEARS YOUNGER THAN MELISSA HOW
Michel: “It’s a tough one for Michel. Because I never understood how he ended up in that town. But, patronizing people for sure. Maybe in an inn that he now owns. Or he went back to Paris because he couldn’t deal with Americans anymore.”
Paris: “I’d like to think Paris and Doyle are still together. I think they’re really well matched. Supporting each other and just taking over the fucking world.”
Logan: He would not be working.
Miss Patty: *Liz Torres was a bit off her rocker, IDK, that’s what we thought* First of all, she always thought she would end up with Luke (!?). Anyways, some sort of TV show comes to town, and all Miss Patty’s students are in it and they’d put her in front of the camera. And she’d run for mayor of “Scott’s Hollow” and would call on Taylor for help. [This seemed to be partially informed by a GG fanfic from the internet, not sure.]
Dean: Worked at Doose’s and took over from Taylor to turn it into Dean’s Market and he’d still have the apron *just realizing Taylor has been pushed out of all his duties, what is HE up to now??*
Doyle: “Definitely married to Paris still… Ride or die all the way… Probably a reporter working at a website, NAACP maybe. Probably thinking everyone he was working for was an idiot.”
Jackson: “The vasectomy never took. There’s 42 children out there and I’m actually farming children now.”
Zach: “He got to have a nice homecoming and he got to come back to his hometown where he went to college with his hot wife and his best friend and rock the shit out of the place where he used to make lattes for people.” *IRL, Todd went to UT Austin, so maybe he was reflecting his own life there.
Brian: Had a tech start up, maybe a music app. He developed a really close bond with the twins and they’re kinda like his best friends. ! Kwan and Steve!!
Lorelai: “I think they’re (Luke and Lor) together. 100 percent… But I’m not fishing.”
“I love that Danny, between The Butler and (Empire) has become the voice of Black America. It’s the weirdest… finally they found somebody to speak for them!” -ASP
*Panel rewatch note: Scott just winked to someone. I’m not okay.*
– A big convo was had about when Rory was going to have sex. ASP: “At the time, every girl under 18 was having sex. All of them were a bunch of little whores. I’m all for a bunch of little whores running around, but not my girl!” ASP wanted it to be Dean and she wanted them to not be together. He was the one great first BF of hers, and ASP wanted to go to the place where you think maybe it could work out with that ex, and revert back to see if anything could come of it.
– As far as Daniel Palladino is concerned, though, that never happened.
– LG says her storyline with Luke didn’t end in a satisfying way… ASP adds that there was a plan to bring Luke and Lor together, and they were stingy with it for a reason. “It couldn’t happen until we knew what was gonna happen after. TV sometimes rushes into things without thinking about, ‘What are you losing?'”
– I got the general feeling that while season seven was fine, everyone in the cast wishes it was Amy that wrote the final season/episode.
– ASP is not going to give up those final four words. She also gives Michael Ausiello (TVLine founder, OG GG fan, one-time extra) a shout out which I personally find hilarious, saying he’ll be at her death bed trying to get it out of her. Only Dan Palladino knows, and LG doesn’t want to know unless it’s in the context of the episode/movie/etc. I’m with her.
– Liz Torres ‘couldn’t see’ something in the audience? A fan? IDK but she started walking towards the edge of the stage, and ASP goes, “Sit down. Sit down, young lady. There you go alright.”
“We didn’t know it (the show) was ending! I would’ve stolen so much!!” Keiko being the cutest
– Scott Patterson basically doesn’t understand how the internet works, didn’t realize his interview on the Gilmore Guys podcast can be listened to by everyone in the world, and his comment that there might be a movie in the works got blown out of proportion. He was just giving a stock answer, in hopes of it coming true.
*BUT WILL THERE BE A MOVIE? ASP: “I’m sorry, there’s nothing in the works at the moment. But here’s the good thing – nobody here hates each other. That’s a very important step. It would have to be the right everything. The right format, the right timing, the right budget, it would have to be honored in a certain way and I think that if it ever came around I think we would all jump in and do it. But unfortunately it’s not happening right now… If it ever happened, I promise you it would be done correctly.”
**Ed. note: I’ve written on here before about the heartbreaking report that LG and Scott didn’t get along with each other IRL. There were rumors they hated each other while filming, but after Scott’s Gilmore Guys podcast and the course of events and discussion over the weekend, we decided that rumor simply wasn’t true. Like anyone you work with, you might not get along 100% of the time, but you still like them. It’s a working relationship, and ASP saying no one hates each other confirmed that for us.**
– There were some Q&A with the fans, 10% of which were actually intelligent. But we had a good, long debrief about the panel over breakfast food for dinner and our main takeaway was that a good chunk of the nearly two hour event was wasted. Don’t get me wrong – this was amazing, surreal, #blessed, something I didn’t ever dream of happening – which is why I perhaps expected more? We wanted more interactions with the rest of the cast, questions that could be answered by everyone, and not just ASP, LG, and Dan. If you watch the panel, it’s mostly ASP talking, which is informative, but when’s the next time you’ll ever see all these people in a room together? I want the behind-the-scenes info, things that we didn’t get to see because Twitter wasn’t a thing in the early 2000s, I want to see Keiko and Liza interact or Doyle and Luke or Logan and Jess – anything! I want to know stupid stuff like their fave scenes to shoot or who they wished they had more scenes with – I just wanted it all from the cast. We just didn’t feel like the moderator did a particularly good job with inciting conversation between the actors. But overall, we’re just glad we got in.
Sunday
Orphan Black
We spent three days in a row getting up at the asscrack of dawn (or like, 6/7am, I wake up at 10am IRL) and we had two final panels on Sunday. Luckily, I was eager to get up early for the Orphan Black panel, featuring co-creator Graeme Manson and Kristian Bruun, who plays the great Donnie Hendrix, and they screened the episode that aired the night before.
Highlights:
– Kristian and Tatiana improv before takes IN character. Can you just imagine what Donnie and Allison would say to each other UNSCRIPTED?!
– On the possibility of more clones: “Nobody wants to see clones of Donnie… that’s too much sexy on one screen.” Kristian Bruun is our new favorite.
– Kristian was not informed whether or not Donnie was a monitor at first, so that he’d successfully convey that he had no clue what was going on.
– (spoiler alert?) “RIP, BDP.” – Graeme using the best acronym for Paul (Big Dick Paul).
– On Cosima/Delphine getting back together: “Sorry, but some ships are made to be sunk.”
– In general, Graeme basically tells us to hold on to our panties for the last couple of episodes this season because we’re not going to be happy.
– Kristian willingly tried to recreate the iconic Donnie/Allison twerking scene… without music… by himself
Dawson’s Creek Live Script Reading
Our final panel was also stressful – this time around I got a ticket in, but Molly did not, and she was literally one of the last four people to get in. Didn’t realize it was going to be that popular! So it was billed as a live script reading of the the DC pilot, with Kevin Williamson and special surprise guests. We get there and like GG, the DC credits rolled, but with the new cast, as follows:
Dawson Leery: Mae Whitman
Joey Potter: Patrick J. Adams
Pacey Witter: Abigail Spencer
Jen Lindley: KERR SMITH
Grams: Grandma Saracen Louanne Stephens
Mitch Leery: Derek Phillips (Billy Riggins)
Gail Leery: Stacey Oristano (Mindy Riggins)
Tamara Jacobs: Arielle Kebbel
Bessie: Kristian Bruun
Bodie: Nick Weschler
The best casting ever? Possibly. The surprise and screams when they were first revealed was akin to the GG electricity, but not quite the same scale.
– Mae, professional Friday Night Lights fangirl, was presented with an early birthday present from Stacey: a framed picture of Tim Riggins that was from the actual Riggins house. Mae brought it out and put it in front of her during the reading.
– Mae was perf (as usual), and her interaction with Patrick/Joey was fantastic. It was weird seeing Kerr, who didn’t come in as Jack until season two, play Jen:
– Louanne did the best “Jenniferrrrr” that had the crowd lit’rally go wild for a good 20 seconds.
– Patrick kept doing Katie Holmes’ side smirk and it was on. point.
– Louanne accidentally said, “I’m firm…” before realizing it wasn’t even her line.
– Julie Plec was in the audience and tweeted to Josh Jackson that Abigail Spencer was taking over for him, and he
And that’s all folks. We had such a great time thanks to ATX TV Festival and all the nice people we met, including the actor panelists. It was like a weird fever dream that I’m just starting to get over, but I kinda hope I never do.
Turns out Sarah’s not dead and before B/J has a chance to kill both Sully and Robert, Sarah shoots the bitch and she falls into the river.
Cookies + Sangria 
