Academy Awards 2016: Best and Worst Dressed

Welcome to our 2016 Academy Awards fashion roundup! It was a great night for fashion, and a great night for Leonardo DiCaprio, so between those two things we are feeling fantastic today. In fact, everyone looked so wonderful that we had a hard time coming up with some of our worst dressed picks. What a good problem to have!

Best Dressed

Molly’s Picks

Alicia Vikander in Louis Vuitton

Here’s what I love: even if actresses say they never thought they were going to win, nominees at least know it’s a possibility. Thus. the picture of them winning their Oscar will be the iconic image of them throughout their whole career. And in this tea length, absolutely cloud-like embellished gown, I think Alicia realized that. Somewhat polarizing because some people thought it was TOO princess-y, I thought it set the tone for the refined-yet-youthful vibe Alicia has in many of her roles.

 

Saoirse Ronan in Calvin Klein

This made my best dressed list not just for the dress itself – though the combo of sequins and patterns, plus the simple cut and neckline, is fantastic. I also love the symbolism Saoirse sneaked into there. She specifically wanted green to symbolize Ireland, since it’s not just her country but also the focus of her nominated film. It’s the same color she wore for her first nomination for Atonement – a nice, non-obnoxious way to remind us this isn’t her first Oscar nod. And it sends a clear message that, at 21, Saoirse’s no longer a child actor. Plus her skin looks amazing with that color.

Olivia Munn in Stella McCartney

Between that color, the off-shoulder cape, and the snake bracelet, Olivia perfectly hit that line between a bold look and something a bit more over-the-top. The sleek column silhouette suits her so well!

Olivia Wilde in Valentino

Maybe my favorite gowns are the ones that land on half of the best dressed lists and half of the worst dressed lists: it means they at least aren’t too boring. The tidy ivory micro-pleats are sort of Grecian-meets-angelic, and the back of the dress is so pretty, too (a dress with a nice back is like the Awards show version of “AND it has pockets!”). Maybe I don’t love the choker but maybe I’m also starting to come around to the choker revival.

Naomi Watts in Armani Prive

My favorite part: the violet-blue-pink gradient on the bodice, that is subtle enough that’ it’s not “OMG ombre.” I must be part magpie because I cannot stop looking at all of those sequins. Loving that touch of Old Hollywood with the Bulgari necklace, and the non-overdone – but not overly beachy – hair.

Honorable Mention: Jacob Tremblay in his darling little suit; Brie Larson, who like Alicia Vikander seems to have chosen a dress KNOWING that it was going to be the picture you’ll see of her for the rest of her career.

Traci’s Picks

Charlize Theron in Dior

Frankly, it’s quite annoying how naturally gorgeous Charlize is. She’s the type of person that can make anything look good, and on top of that, she is always so freaking classy. And sexy. This dress looks like it was made just for Charlize’s frame, and perfectly draped on her. The train is not too long and photographs great, and I love the pairing of the long diamond necklace.

Daisy Ridley in Chanel Haute Couture

Daisy Ridley made her debut at the Oscars and it definitely won’t be her last. If you followed her on the Star Wars press tour, you already know she’s been killing it on the red carpet and even giving Lupita a run for her money. This silver embellished gown has so much detail, and all I want to do is look at it up close and look at it in awe. Plus those silver heels are everything.

Margot Robbie in Tom Ford

Margot was a presenter at the show, but she dressed like a literal winner aka human Oscar. And I love it. A sparking gold dress like this is already a statement on its own, so I love that she kept her hair and her makeup toned down. She looks even more gorgeous than usual, since it’s a mix of glamour and casual that works so well together. Plus I’m a big fan of black and gold together, so the black clutch is a good match.

Rooney Mara in Givenchy Haute Couture

There’s something oddly satisfying about a dress that’s symmetrical as this one, especially since it’s incredibly detailed. Like Daisy’s dress, I could pour over this for a while just staring at the design. Rooney’s complexion is always perfect for a dark lip, and the combo with her hair in a high bun is totally working for me.

Lady Gaga in Brandon Maxwell

This bitch continues her Gagaissance by wearing a jumpsuit/pantsuit/cape ? to the red carpet and I am HERE FOR IT. Her hair is channelling classic Hollywood and the make-up isn’t over the top either. Love her.

Honorable Mention: Common because heLLLOOOOO SMOKESHOW ❤ ❤

Worst Dressed

Molly’s Picks
Kerry Washington in Versace

Between the slit, the leather, and the dominatrix-y stirrup thingies, I just don’t like this. Which brings me to: maybe we should call this something other than “worst dressed,” because this isn’t necessarily BAD, I just don’t care for it. As always, Kerry’s hair and makeup are perfect.

Sandy Powell

I’m not sure if this belongs on worst dressed, because this is a costume designer paying tribute to the off-the-wall costuming of the patron saint of individualism in fashion, David Bowie. So let’s say that it’s questionably red carpet appropriate, but her heart is in the right place.

Kate Winslet in Ralph Lauren

Look no further for evidence that everyone looked really great last night: there were few dresses that I disliked that I was forced to put Kate Winslet on my worst dressed list. Her hair and makeup are nice, the silhouette of the gown is good, and my only qualm is that fabric. I’ve mentioned a few times that I wish Melissa McCarthy wouldn’t wear that garbage bag fabric so often, and here it is on Kate Winslet. Call it a pet peeve.

Mindy Kaling in Elizabeth Kennedy

See what I mean about not having any dresses I dislike?  Mindy Kaling? I LOVE Mindy Kaling! I don’t even hate this dress! I just don’t love it as much as some of the other gowns from last night. It’s a pretty good dress! The back of it is amazing! The tailoring just feels a bit off, and that’s not even Mindy’s fault. I love Mindy Kaling! Ugh. That felt gross. I hated doing that.

Rachel McAdams in August Getty

Now I’m not even pretending to pick bad dresses. I love this color, I love this cut, her eyes pop, the simple earrings are amazing, I’m glad her hair is back. It’s just one of those terribly disappointing moments when you (Rachel McAdams) realize that the otherwise perfect dress you’re wearing wrinkles when you sit. I hate when that happens!

Dishonorable mention: Heidi Klum, who at this point is probably just trolling us that she can wear this puffy tulle thing and STILL look better than most of us could possibly look on our best day.

Traci’s Picks

Heidi Klum in Marchesa

It’s just so bad I had to put it on here twice.

Jacqueline West

If you’re wondering who this is, Jacqueline is a costume designer who was nominated for The Revenant. Like Sandy Powell, I just don’t understand why costume designers wear unflattering things like this. You can see her slip – but is it meant to do that? Maybe I just don’t get the *art* of it.

Reese Witherspoon in Oscar de la Renta

I love Reese like every other American. But this top is just not working for me. It makes her boobs look lumpy and I don’t like that the boning is kind of outlined on the corset. And I’m not feeling the color. It also reminds me of the Louis Vuitton dress she wore to the 2013 Oscars that’s kind of similar to this. Except that gown was better.

Sofia Vergara in Marchesa

Again, I love Sofia Vergara. She is an American treasure. And you have to appreciate someone who knows their body so well that they know what dresses look great on them. Sofia is constantly in a strapless gown, which can kind of get old, but she still looks gorgeous. However, this gown has too much fabric around the waist and I’m not feeling the embellishments scattered throughout. Bring back more like this pink number at the SAGs , pls.

Gwen Stefani in Yanina Couture

Ok, this is technically at the Vanity Fair after party, but still Oscars related. Gwen. What in the fresh hell is this? Apparently sheer dresses with designs/floral covering the private bits is a trend as of late, but ugh. This is too much.

Love Is Dead: A Look At Our Obsession With Celebrity Couples

Yesterday, we got confirmation of the rumor we hoped wasn’t true – after almost exactly 10 years of marriage, Ben Affleck and Jennifer Garner, aka Bennifer 2.0, announced they are getting a divorce. They had been dodging gossip for a while, but like any good American, we denied it was happening until it was slapping us across the face and posing as an actual problem.

Celebrity relationships have always been fascinating to me/the world, and in more recent years, specifically the psychology of why we, as a culture, are so obsessed with celebrity couples. Is it because they are the seemingly ideal, picture perfect, couple where nothing could possibly be wrong? Yes. Is it what our own #relationshipgoals aim to be? Yes. But despite all of that, why does it always feel like we are the ones ‘dying’ when it has absolutely nothing to do with us?

Today I’m looking back at some of the celebrity breakups that shook us to the core, proclaiming in all caps that LOVE IS DEAD and ‘IF THEY CAN’T MAKE IT, WHO CAN?’ to all of the Internet.

Ben Affleck and Jennifer Garner

BAEs for: 10 years of marriage

RIP: June 30th, 2015 (One day after their 10th anniversary)

OTP Moment(s): The moment when Jen fell in love with Ben, last year’s ALS Ice Bucket Challenge

Why are we upset: Ben & Jen were like the All-American couple with the three cute kids, who were Hollywood enough that made them unattainable, but had a certain level of relatability. When they first met, he was engaged to another Jennifer, but ultimately, as we know, Jen G. won his heart in the end. Or not, I guess.

Over It Meter:  It just happened, so it’ll take me a while –

5 out of 5 Notebook Rain Kisses

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Brad Pitt and Jennifer Aniston

BAEs for: 5 years of marriage

RIP: January 2005

OTP Moment(s): The One With Brad On Friends, any time either of them were on Oprah, that super secret wedding, all their red carpet moments

Why are we upset: Jennifer is and was the beloved star from Friends, and he was the hottest Hollywood hunk that made them the golden couple of the early 2000s. They were a couple everyone was rooting for, so when they split, it was as if an actual person had died from their break-up. Not to mention, it all went down as Brad and Angelina’s onscreen chemistry was palpable in Mr. & Mrs. Smith, leading many to cast Angie as the villain in the scenario and tabloids STILL try to Pitt (pun intended) these women against each other. But the one thing we’ve learned from all of this: we just all want to see Jennifer Aniston happy.

Over It Meter: It’s been 10 years. We’re still a little hurt.

4 out of 5 Notebook Rain Kisses

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Zac Efron and Vanessa Hudgens

BAEs for: 3 years of dating

RIP: 2010

OTP Moment(s): All the High School Musicals, when they were on the beach, Vanessa’s Say OK video, the last time they walked a red carpet together

Why are we upset: I was in college when the first High School Musical came out, and I’m not ashamed to say I loved it. And I totally stanned for Troy/Gabriella, but more so Zac/Vanessa. I thought they were going to be together forever, TBH. I was Zanessa for life. Then they broke up, and I broke up too. It was sad, and if they ever get together again in the future I WILL NOT BE SURPRISED.

Over It Meter:  Like I said, it won’t surprise me if they fall back in love when they’re 35.

4 out of 5 Notebook Rain Kisses

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Justin Timberlake and Britney Spears

BAEs for: 3 years of dating (why does it seem like so much longer than that?)

RIP: 2002

OTP Moment(s):  Mickey Mouse Club duets, all the denim, Justin surprising a (genuinely shocked) Brit on an MTV special, accepting the Teen Choice Award for Choice Hotties, this whole photo shoot

Why are we upset: I am a Backstreet Boys fan, but also a Britney fan, so when she started dating Justin, I was at a *Crossroads*. Luckily, this was around the time JT was about to do his own thing, so my love for him as a solo artist grew from there, but my love for them as a couple was unquantifiable.They were the prince and princess of pop music, and their coupledom is hard to beat. When they abruptly broke up (What Goes Around Comes Around), not only was it the first celeb breakup (in my lifetime) that was devastating, but it was the first time I thought ~*tRuE LoVe*~ really didn’t exist.

Over It Meter:  Both JT and Brit have clearly moved on, so we should too. But they get 2 rain GIFs only because they were iconic.

2 out of 5 Notebook Rain Kisses

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Ryan Phillippe and Reese Witherspoon

BAEs for: 7 years of marriage

RIP: 2006

OTP Moment(s):  Cruel Intentions

Why are we upset: Cruel Intentions was one of the best cult movies of our generation. I remember secretly going to see it with my friend, whose dad bought the tickets for us because it was rated R and we weren’t 17 yet. I think I told my parents I was going to see Robin Williams’ What Dreams May Come. Anyways, Reese and Ryan were like the younger version of Jen and Brad, and we were rooting for them because their onscreen love was real offscreen too.

Over It Meter:  The best part about them as a couple is their two adorable kids, including Reese’s doppelganger Ava. It’s clear they were just really young when they got married, and Reese has another cute kid with her hubs while Ryan has another kid with the girl from Pitch Perfect.

1 out of 5 Notebook Rain Kisses

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Taye Diggs and Idina Menzel

BAEs for: 10 years of marriage

RIP: 2014

OTP Moment(s):  All of Rent, when he played Fiyero to her Elphaba, just any time they sing together, the time I saw her in concert and I’m pretty sure she was a little tipsy and verrryyy horny for Taye, any time they hang with their cute kid Walker

Why are we upset: This is so cliche, but Rent is one of my all-time favorite musicals, and I spent a lot of my youth listening to the OBC (Original Broadway Cast, for you non-nerds) soundtrack. When I found out that these two met, fell in love, and got married all because of the show, it made me love them even more. I was working when the news of their divorce dropped, and I had to compose my emotions for a few minutes before writing it up because I was THAT emotionally attached to these idiots.

Over It Meter: I. STILL. SHIP. IT.

5 out of 5 Notebook Rain Kisses
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Ryan Gosling and Rachel McAdams

BAEs for: 3-ish years dating

RIP: 2008

OTP Moment(s):  All of The Notebook, The Notebook audition video, and the ultimate OTP vid: The 2005 MTV Movie Awards Best Kiss acceptance speech

Why are we upset: Obviously The Notebook is considered one of the best romantic films in recent history, and the onscreen/offscreen love story between Ryan and Rachel just made it that much better. We’re gonna dismiss the fact they may not have gotten along on set and just remember that they made an amazing couple. But that Best Kiss tho.

Over It Meter:  This would be 5, except he has a baby with Eva Mendes now, so I guess that trumps this reunion.

4 out of 5 Notebook Rain Kisses

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Will Arnett and Amy Poehler

BAEs for: 9 years of marriage

RIP: 2012

OTP Moment(s):  Blades of Glory, Parks and Rec, Arrested Development, this Gap ad, their “Double A Batteries”, general red carpet merriment

Why are we upset: Oh man. This one hurt. This one hurt real bad. If you’re new to our blog, Amy is deity around here, and just one of the many reasons we love her so much is because, as you know, she’s funny. Will is equally hilarious and can actually keep up with Poehler in the comedy department (watch that Blades of Glory clip). They were up there with like, Stiller and Meara or Lucy and Desi (I just picked refs for 70 year olds). When they announced their separation, I was much like those Twitter users, declaring LOVE IS DEAD. But in the end, like Jennifer Aniston before her, we just want Amy to be happy.

Over It Meter: Amy started dating Nick Kroll about a year after separating from Will, and at the time, I thought it was a downgrade, but I’ve really come to like their relationship, and where she’s at in her life in general – with or without a man. So she and Will get:

3 out of 5 Notebook Rain Kisses

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Shattered Dreams: Onscreen Couple Edition

I’ll be the first to admit it – I often forget that the characters I see in the TV and movie screens are not real. My Tumblr is even titled “Reality has no place in our world” (shameless plug) because the line between fiction and non is… well, sometimes non-existent. So when I hear things like “Ryan Gosling wanted Rachel McAdams to be kicked off The Notebook set“, I refuse to believe it’s real because it’s obviously marring the illusion of their perfect love. Unrelatedly, if you know of any good therapists, I’d love their number.

But obviously if you’ve got a fairly good grip on reality, you know these kinds of bust-ups happen all the time. I mean, when actors with big personalities are forced to work with each other, it’s bound to happen eventually. So to ruin your fantasy world where every ship is safely sailing off to True Love land, here’s just a few onscreen pairings who absolutely could not stand working with each other.

Rachel McAdams + Ryan Gosling {The Notebook}

So more about this. Apparently this story has been floating around for a while, but it was only until recently when the movie’s director Nick Cassavetes said in an interview that Ryan wanted Rachel booted from the set of their epic movie. Apparently Rachel and Ryan weren’t getting along that particular day of filming so Ryan was all, ‘I’m over it. Make her leave and gimme another actress to work with’ (not verbatim). And Nick was all, ‘Um, calm down bruh’ and Ryan started yelling at one of the producers and eventually came back to work opposite Rachel. Yikes. Well, it was still fun while it lasted.

Lauren Graham + Scott Patterson {Gilmore Girls}

Guys, when I tell you that finding out about this ruined my entire Luke/Lorelai ship, I’m not kidding. To this day, I still think that they are one of the greatest couples to ever exist on TV, but apparently, their offscreen relationship wasn’t quite as friendly. Towards the end of the series, Lauren hinted in an interview with TV Guide that she wasn’t BFF with Scott. That sound you hear is a million L/L fans throwing coffee mugs at the wall and making Christopher voodoo dolls.

TVG: So, how is your relationship with Scott?

Graham: It’s fine. I think these characters have a great chemistry and that does mirror our chemistry as people. We’re not intimates. We talk kind of how we talk [on the show]. We work well together.

TVG: But you’re not best friends.
Graham: No. It’s a very happy set. It’s a very functioning, working set, and I think some of that is helped by us having a little bit of a life outside. But I’m here an average of 50 hours a week, so there isn’t a lot of socializing for any of us.

Honestly, I put this tidbit in the part of my brain that suppresses bad memories, along with the time I refused to go in the deep end during swim classes and season two of Friday Night Lights. I watch at least part of Gilmore Girls about 5 days a week (thanks ABC Family reuruns) and just knowing that Luke and Lorelai’s ~*TrUe LoVe*~ isn’t real is too much for me to handle.

William Frawley + Vivian Vance {I Love Lucy}

If two actors dated or hated each other back in the day, there would be no way for fans to know unless the stars decided to make their relationships public themselves. Today, we live in a world where people track who follows who on Twitter (omgz did you guys see that Demi totes unfollowed Selena on Twitter? No, but this is a real thing that happened). Again, things are much different than the days of yore. So color me surprised when I found out two fun facts about Lucy & Ricky’s favorite neighbors. 1) Fred, played by William Frawley, was 22 YEARS older that Vivian Vance, who played Ethel. According to classic TV myth, William apparently overheard Vivian complaining about having to work opposite someone who was old enough to be her father (fair). 2) Their purported feud lasted until William’s death in 1966, when Vivian allegedly heard of his passing when out to dinner – and promptly ordered champagne for everyone at her table.

Julia Roberts + Nick Nolte {I Love Trouble}

I love Julia Roberts, but I have absolutely no idea what this movie is about. Didn’t even know she and Nick Nolte were in a movie together. But it’s probably for the best, seeing as how they totally hated each other whilst filming. Don’t know what caused these two 90s megastars (well, Julia’s still that) to have a rift in their relationship, but it got so bad that they had to film their scenes separately. Years later, Julia called Nick a “disgusting human being,” and his response was “It’s not nice to call someone ‘disgusting.’ But she’s not a nice person. Everyone knows that.” HAHA #YOUTRIED

Will Smith + Janet Hubert {The Fresh Prince of Bel Air}

Okay, so they’re not a couple, but I was so fascinated with this that I had to include it. Remember how there was one Aunt Viv in Bel Air and then the next season there was a completely different one that looked nothing like the original? Apparently it’s because she haaateedd Will Smith (the real one), calling him an “egomaniac”. She allegedly wanted more pay and more lines than the producers were willing to give her. Big Willie Style said she wanted it to be the “Aunt Viv of Bel Air” show.

 

Things I Thought Would Happen Before George Clooney Got Married

Well folks, it happened. George Clooney is betrothed. To a woman who is not a model by profession. In case you didn’t know, Amal Alamuddin is a 36-year-old Lebanon-born, London-based lawyer, who specializes in international law, human rights, extradition and criminal law. She went to Oxford and NYU, is fluent in English, French and Arabic, and has previously worked with now-Supreme Court Justice Sonia Sotomayor and represented WikiLeaks founder Julian Assange in 2011. Basically, she’s no dummy, and different than all the other girls George has loved before, which is why I think this is legit. But let’s be real – how many people actually thought George would ever get engaged again? His first marriage to actress Talia Balsam (who’s now married to silver fox John Slattery) didn’t work out and he publicly vowed to never marry again. Yet here we are. Albeit he still needs to actually exchange vows with her, I, and I assume the rest of the pop culture-obsessed public, never thought this would happen. There are hundreds of other things I thought would happen before George ever put a ring on anyone, let alone a woman that might actually be the one. Here’s a list of just some of the things I thought would happen before Cloonster would ever settle down.

okay, but doesn’t this look like a scene from Out of Sight?

Clooney reprising his role as Batman

Lou Bega making a legit come back

Wait, guys… I’m JUST realizing this is Mambo NUMBER 5. WHAT HAPPENED TO MAMBOS 1 THROUGH 4?!?

Finding the fictional Heart of the Ocean

Leonardo DiCaprio getting an Oscar

 You’ll get ’em next year, bud.

My parents giving up their AOL account

FACT: I recently witnessed my mother using AOL and let me tell you – this screenshot is not that far off from what it looks like in 2014. BUDDY LISTS. !

Finding MH370

… Too soon?

Figuring out the exact number of licks it takes to get to the center of a Tootsie Roll Pop

Actually liking Tootsie Roll Pops

Honestly, the most disgusting candy.

The Buffalo Bills going to the Super Bowl

  A little Western New York humor for you

Ryan Gosling and Rachel McAdams getting back together

Discovering the real identity of -A on Pretty Little Liars

 This will happen once the show ends for real. Maybe.

Actually going through the threat of quitting Facebook

The Friday Night Lights movie happening

Probably for the best that this isn’t a thing.

The Friends reunion happening

Yeah, probs for the best this isn’t a thing either.

Reading through the entirty of the iTunes Terms and Conditions

Never in my life. Sorry, Apple.

Categories That Should Be Added to the MTV Movie Awards

The 2014 MTV Movie Awards are on Sunday and if you had no idea this was happening, congratulations – you’re officially an adult. The following seems like an obvious statement, but the older I get, the less I am in touch with youth culture. Let me rephrase that: the older I get, the less denial I’m in realizing I’m in touch with the youth culture.

And the older I get, and the more MTV Movie Awards/Video Music Awards that happen, just make me yearn for the days of yore, or basically when I cared about who was winning. For example, the best moment ever in MTV Movie Award history was in 2005, when power couple Rachel McAdams and Ryan Gosling were still dating, and they won for Best Kiss. Reminisce with me here:

I will hand it to MTV, because this is the only awards show where you can get away with a category like Best Kiss. Not to mention, they also give out the Best Scared-as-shit Performance, Best Shirtless Performance, #wtf Moment and Best on-screen dirtbag (RIP to that category).

Because MTV is in the business of giving out ridiculous, truthful awards, here are some suggestions of what they can add to the show moving forward. Maybe I’ll actually remember and take note of the Movie Awards if that happens…

 Best Red Carpet Style

Lupita Nyong’o

I think it’s pretty clear that no one else deserves this more than our girl crush, Lupita. After this awards season, she proved to be the one person that everyone was anticipating to come down the red carpet. From her epic Ralph Lauren red cape dress to her Oscar-winning Prada gown, no one else even came close to her fierceness this year. We all need to bow down to Queen Lupita.

Best Onscreen Couple That Is Actually An Offscreen Couple Too

Emma Stone and Andrew Garfield – The Amazing Spider-Man 2

I’ll be honest with you, I’m not even a big fan of superhero movies, and have only seen a handful, but I strangely ship these two? Maybe I even saw the first Spider-Man because of them as a couple? Ugh whatevs. It’s clear they have off the charts chemistry on screen, and in interviews it’s clear to see that their personalities click so well too, despite the fact they never want to talk about their relationship. But I mean come on. How cute are they?

The couple that dances together… stays together? That’s an old adage right?

Best Hookup You’ve Been Waiting for for 10 Years

Veronica Mars + Logan Echolls – Veronica Mars

SIGH. What can I say? The Veronica Mars Movie was everything I’ve been waiting for and more. Fellow Marshmallows were expecting this hookup to happen so it wasn’t a surprise, but boy was it worth all the money I gave to Kickstarter JUST for the epic Logan and Veronica scenes. I could talk about this for hours, but what’s great about this is that even after 7 years off the air, all the characters fall into their old rhythms, and just like the fans, they’ve grown up over the years. But Logan and Veronica, no matter where their lives take them – will always come back to each other. Epic.

Best Kids’ Movie For Adults

Frozen

The last animated/kids movie I saw before Frozen was Up, and that made me cry like a fool. This movie, however, made me laugh and feel all warm inside like all the classic Disney princess movies did when I was a kid. And that’s what’s made it one of the most successful movies in the world. Literally. The story is great, the jokes are on point (see: Arrested Development refrences for the adults) and IDGAF, but I blast the soundtrack and sing Love is and Open Door at the top of my lungs driving down the streets of Hollywood. Let it go, motherfuckers. Let it alllll go.

Scariest Non-Scary Movie

Gravity


I’m not into watching horror movies. I used to be able to watch them and laugh nervously when scary parts came on, but I just don’t have the time nor patience to do that anymore. But Gravity is the closest thing I’ve seen to a horror movie in a long time, and that’s good enough for me. I saw this in the theater, which is really the only proper way to seen Gravity, and the extreme scale of the movie makes you feel like you’re out there in space with Sandra Bullock, leaving you with an odd feeling of emptiness or just a wonderment of how vast the world really is. I legit had to sit in my seat and not move for like 10 minutes because it was so jarring.

Best Performance By An Actor In A Horrible Movie

Cate Blanchett – Blue Jasmine


Couldn’t tell you what happened in this movie except  the fact that Cate Blanchett was the best part about it and she deserved allll the awards for this performance. Oh and Ali Fedotowsky, former Bachelorette, made a cameo in it. Yup, you can tell I’m not a cinephile.

Best Worst Movie You Forgot Existed

Movie 43


I actually forgot this movie existed until I saw it won Worst Movie at the Razzies this year. Second hand embarassment for everyone involved in this.

Best Movie That Turned Your Laughter Into An Ugly Cry

The Best Man Holiday


I CAME FOR THE HBMS AND LEFT WITH MASCARA RUNNING DOWN MY FACE. WHAT IN THE ACTUAL FUCK. Taye Diggs didn’t warn me about this. No spoilers, just watch it for yourself, because it’s actually a really good movie. Except IDK if I could ever put myself through the pain of ugly crying. My friend and I had no idea it was going to take a turn and since I didn’t come prepared with tissues, ended up crying into my sleeve. Ugh.

Best Movie That’s Definitely NOT About Scientology

After Earth

Will Smith wrote the story for After Earth and stars in it, and there’s a lot of people who think this is reflective of his beliefs in Scientology but I’m not saying it is because I definitely don’t want them to come into my apartment and secretly audit me, because this movie is definitely NOT about Scientology…

Best Least Believable Couple

Theodore + Samantha – Her

Falling in love with an operating system? Come on. What is this, the future? Not believable at all.

The Best Moments of the MTV Movie Awards

The lovely Rebel Wilson did not disappoint on Sunday’s MTV Movie Awards, and the show had its fair share of memorable moments, including the much awaited Pitch Perfect reunion and Brad Pitt. Brad Pitt!

And while I haven’t watched Movie Awards as religiously as I used to as a teen, I wanted to take a second to remember some of the greatest MTV Movie Awards moments of the past. Ok, in full diclosure, this is basically a way for me to relive the golden era that was Ryan Gosling and Rachel McAdams. So what.

Jennifer Lopez and Tom Cruise (as Len Grossman) dancing – 2010
This is just as odd as it sounds.

Jim Carrey accepting Best Male Performance – 1999
Jim got into character to receive his award. Word is still out on exactly which character it was he was getting into.

Jimmy Fallon & Kirsten Dunst co-hosting – 2005
Good lord everything about this is sooo 2005. Sorry KiKi – you tried singing. Good thing my mad J Fall was there to rescue you from sucking.

Kristen Stewart dropping her Golden Popcorn – 2010
HAHAHA

Hilary Duff and Amanda Bynes – 2003
This clip isn’t even from the actual awards show, but it’s a reminder that as a child star, you can go either one of two ways when you grow up.

Rachel McAdams and Ryan Gosling accept Best Kiss – 2005
Best moment in the show’s history? Probably. I will randomly think of this and rewatch it, hoping my powers will bring these two soulmates back together… I need a boyfriend.