Category Archives: Lists

Unexpected Stars of Elf

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In November of 2003, I was a teenaged movie theater employee. In addition to sneaking ‘courtesy cups’ of popcorn and Oreo Cream Blast (TM) every shift and taking my friends to free movies, I’d pop into theaters during my breaks to watch some of the better films [ and sometimes, you know, Confessions of a Teenage Drama Queen or whatever.] I probably saw Elf five times during that ’03 holiday season – albeit in 15-minute snippets. Ten years on, I still love it just as much. Yes, it’s hard to believe, but Elf — eminently charming, extremely quotable, and in my view, one of the best Christmas movies of all time — was released ten years ago this month.

Everyone knows that Elf had some amazing writing and a great soundtrack, but I think the ensemble cast is a big reason that it holds up so well a decade later. Everybody knows Will Ferrell’s Buddy, of course. Elf was also one of the first times anyone noticed a pre-bangs Zooey Deschanel. There are others that everyone will remember: James Caan, Bob Newhart, Edward Asner, and Mary Steenburgen. But did you realize that all of these folks were in Elf, too? Some of them have been around for decades, and others became famous since Buddy took the journey through the seven levels of the Candy Cane forest, through the sea of swirly twirly gum drops, and walked through the Lincoln Tunnel.

Peter Dinklage — Miles Finch

In Elf: Dinklage played Miles Finch, a grumpy children’s book author and – in Buddy’s view – an “angry elf.”

Outside of Elf: These days, Peter Dinklage is earning major accolades for his work in Game of Thrones. You may also know him from his work as Marlowe Sawyer on Nip/Tuck, Stewart on 30 Rock, and my favorite, Peter Drunklage on SNL.

Faizon Love – Buddy’s Manager

In Elf: He’s the hardworking, exacting Gimbel’s manager who insists on six inch ribbon curls and wants to know why Buddy’s smiling like that. He would like Buddy to make work his new favorite.

Outside of Elf: Love has an extensive resume, mostly character work. Shane in Couples Retreat? That was him. The Perfect Holiday (a Queen Latifah vehicle)? Jamal. Reaching back to pre-Elf times, Faizon Love was Wendell Wilcox on The Parent ‘Hood and Big Worm in Friday.

Amy Sedaris — Deb

In Elf: Deb is Walter’s secretary, who likes to whisper and has such a pretty face, she should be on a Christmas card.

Outside of Elf: Sedaris, of the Comedy Sedarises, has a delightfully nutty sense of humor. My favorites are her Jerri Blank on Strangers with Candy, her great books on entertaining, and all of the stories in her brother David’s books where she wears wacky wigs and fatsuits to freak out their father.

Meghan Black — Elf

In Elf: Brief but memorable role in the Cotton-Headed Ninny Muggins sequence.

Outside of Elf: She’s Atlanta on Clash of the Titans, Misty on Dead Like Me, and Kat on Edgemont. I don’t watch any of those, but a lot of people do.

Michael Lerner — Fulton

In Elf: The children’s book editor who affirms that even with those two pages, the book would have sucked.

Outside of Elf: You’ve definitely seen Lerner in one of his roles as a classy older guy. For instance: Mel Horowitz in the TV show version of Clueless, Rollie Simone on Hill Street Blues, and Arthur in Hart to Hart.

Will McCormack — Witness

In Elf: Just “Witness.” I seriously cannot remember Will McCormack being in Elf, for all the times I’ve seen it. Time for a re-watch!

Outside of Elf: Ethan in Brothers & Sisters, Skillz in Celeste and Jesse Forever (which he co-wrote with his ex, Rashida Jones), Robert O’Connor in In Plain Sight, and he’s directing an upcoming Chris Messina flick. Not too shabby for an unnamed Elf character.

Andy Richter — Morris

In Elf: Morris worked for Greenway Press, which between James Caan, Amy Sedaris, Peter Dinklage, and Andy Richter, is probably a lot more fun than the publisher I work for (which is GREAT don’t get me wrong fire me).

Outside of Elf: Andy Richter is best known as Conan’s sidekick (/Amy Poehler’s older brother). He’s also been a recurring actor on Arrested Development, voiced plenty of animated projects, appeared as Stan on The New Adventures of Old Christine, and had a memorable role on 30 Rock’s Ludachristmas episode (/Tina Fey’s older brother).

Leon Redbone — Snowman

In Elf: A snowman in the style of 60s Christmas specials, who keeps it real (“You’re 6’3 and had a beard since you were 15,” he tells Buddy).

Outside of Elf: You probably already know that Redbone wears a felt hat and big sunglasses, and has an oldtime-y, Vaudeville-y vibe, But did you know that his real name is Dickran? Dickran, is his name. Rough.

Jon Favreau — Doctor

In Elf: The doctor who doesn’t have any cotton balls any more.

Outside of Elf: I guess this is technically still quite Inside of Elf, but he directed it.

Peter Billingsly — Elf

In Elf: He informs Buddy that he’s pretty off-pace with that Etch-a-Sketch business. It’s almost like he was b0rn to be in Christmas movies.

Outside of Elf: Ralphie in A Christmas Story; an adult man who has to hear “you’ll shoot your eye out kid!” every time he is just trying to run to the grocery store to buy a damn carton of milk.

There Goes The Sun: 7 Reasons The End Of Daylight Savings Isn’t (so) Bad

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As soon as the summer solstice was over, our days started getting shorter and shorter. I know, I don’t like to think about it either. But still, the darkness crept a little more every day, and as soon as Daylight Savings Time ended, there was no denying it: it’s dark. Really, really dark. Most of the time, even. If you live below the 40th parallel it isn’t so-so bad, but it’s pretty damn dusky where I live, in New York  (way, way in New York though. It’s like Baby Canada up here).

I know the end of Daylight Savings doesn’t actually make an hour go away from my day. However, an hour of precious daylight moved from the afternoon – when I could maybe do something with it –  to the morning, when the only benefit is that I can now do my makeup in natural light. Still, there is a sunny side (even if it only lasts about 5 hours day):

Days aren’t shorter – nights are longer. If you’re into that.

If your glass is half full (of crazy), then you probably don’t look at this as losing daylight, but gaining night. Maybe you like the horrible mysterious blackness closing all around you. Maybe you just think it’s cozy to spend your dark winter hours indoors, with fires or candles – because you’re probably a bit of a pyro, too. I’m guessing you’re also really confident walking through darkened parking lots and waiting for your bus on an unlit street corner. So, you’re probably really jazzed to gain even more night! You freak.

 We gained an hour of sleep! One time.

In exchange for that extra hour of sleep, you will be in total darkness before the 5 o’clock news from now until March. So, hope you liked your sleep that one day! You know that psychology experiment where they tell kids they can have one piece of candy right now, or 2 pieces of candy if they wait until the researcher comes back in the room? And they always pick the one piece of candy right now? I’m usually Team Adults, but I don’t think we’re any better. If you asked me, at 6am on a Monday, if I want an extra hour to stay in bed – knowing that I’d never leave work in the daylight again for months – I’d probably be like “yeah, sounds like a fair exchange!” This is why we shouldn’t let sleepy people make major decisions.

 It’s an excuse not to work out.

Let’s just say that some people work out because they like the results, like being able to lift objects, looking like they’re not in frail physical shambles, and whatever those “health benefits” are supposed to be. But, these same people sometimes find the whole process a bit of a hassle. I’m that person.  Enter total darkness during all of my waking hours. That does it! Note: you still have to go to the gym, this only works for outdoor exercise. Sorry.

You Aren’t Getting Sun Damage?

Someday, when we all have horribly eroded skin, we’ll look back at these dark months with fondness as That Time We Weren’t Working On Our UV Exposure. When those fine lines crop up, just remember – that’s the price you had to pay for summer. The November-to-March perma-night had nothing to do with it.

You Can Wear Whatever You Want Because Nobody Can See You

You call it winter, I call it a really low-magic version of the Invisibility Cloak. Those people you run into outside for most of the winter? They can’t even see you! Or, you know, they can’t make out the details, anyway. So, if you’re wearing two shades of black that don’t quite match, or scuffy shoes, or mismatched accessories, nobody will know (except for maybe people you see indoors).

 It’s Pajama Time When You Say It’s Pajama Time

If you get home, don’t really have anything going on that day, and want to change into pajamas as soon as you finish dinner (or before), that’s fine. Because it’s dark out! So, it’s nighttime! I definitely abuse this one sometimes. Think about it: if you pajama up at 7:00 in the summer, you’d have to be sick, pathetic, depressed, or all three. But in winter, when it’s already been dark for three hours, you’re just keeping it comfy!

You Feel Like A Productive Workaholic Even When You’re … Not

Yesterday, I got to work at 8 and left around 5:30. Pretty normal, right? Except by leaving under cover of darkness, I felt like I had put in a serious day at the office. If I’m being honest, I could have stayed ’til 10 and still only been half done with my work. The thing is, downtown seems spookier with the lights off – so you’ll forgive me for emailing some files to myself and finishing my work in my pajamas. Which I changed into at 7 pm. Because it’s not like I was going for a run. Welcome, winter!

Last Minute Pop Culture Inspired Halloween Costumes

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Happy Halloween, y’all! Hope you’re all eating your weight in candy then promptly vomiting because it’s actually the bestworst decision you could ever make.

I’m going to be completely honest with you guys – I’ve never really been into Halloween. There are people who go all out and spend hundreds of $$$ on their costumes, throw elaborate parties etc., but I’ve never been one of those people. If I do have to dress up, I will be that rational person who buys clothes which can be easily worn for more than one night. For example, I was Where’s Waldo last weekend and the only item I will most likely never wear again are the $4.50 faux black glasses from Forever 21. That’s just how I roll.

So in honor of people who are cheap like me, are procrastinators, or just need an idea for that party you’ve just been invited to today for this weekend, here are some suggestions that don’t involve spending a lot of money – you might not need to buy anything at all!

Instagram/Selfie

Just grab a giant piece of cardboard, scissors and a blue marker, and copy Insta’s pic frame exactly. I’m assuming B didn’t make this personally, but let’s just say she did. And basically if Beyonce can find time to do it, so can you.

Grumpy Cat

Face makeup and a steady hand, and you’re one of the internet’s fave memes. Plus if you run into someone you dislike at a party, you don’t even have to pretend to enjoy their company.

Lady Gaga Artpop

You may end up looking like a crazy person, but it seems easy enough. And perhaps you’ll even get some APPLAUSE out of it too. LOLOLOLOLOL

Regina George from Mean Girls

Bra with a white tank? So fetch.

Liz Lemon from 30 Rock

Guess who has two thumbs and went as Liz Lemon to the West Hollywood Halloween party a few years ago? This moi.

Arthur

And I said hey! (HEY!) What a wonderful easy kind of costume that you can put together in seconds and still make people love your nostalgic creativity!

Amanda Bynes

Amanda Bynes
I was going to be crazy Amanda Bynes this year, but decided I’d have to buy way more of these items than I thought, but can someone please be her so my idea doesn’t go to waste?!

#StarbucksDrakeHands

Photo Oct 30, 12 47 08 AM

I love watching people’s take on #StarbucksDrakeHands, so this costume is perfect. Don’t know what this internet sensation is? Let this guide help you. Also, Aaron Paul. And Derek Hough. And this random cat.

Blue Screen of Death

I had a friend who went as this a few years ago and I can attest that it was such a hit with everyone.

Wilson from Home Improvement

A little arts and crafts are involved but come on, you don’t even need to smile or act like you’re having a good time with this mini fence!

Whatareyoudoinghere: Unexpected Guest Stars of The West Wing

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In its seven season history, The West Wing created some of the created episodes and moments in television – period. Aaron Sorkin’s most successful show to date took home 26 Emmy Awards, including Outstanding Drama Series four consecutive times. Basically, it was the definition of a hit series.

And with its critical acclaim and popularity, came outstanding actors, both those were were already accomplished (Martin Sheen, Alan Alda, Jimmy Smits), there was also a multitude of actors who were talented but on their way to finding fame.

Here are just some of the guest stars throughout The West Wing that were totally a part of Bartlet for America before hitting it big.

Nick Offerman

Season 1, Episode 4
Leave it up to the guy who plays a government worker who hates the government to play someone asking the White House for a $900 million ‘wolves-only roadway’ on The West Wing. Ron Swanson, everyone.

Liza Weil

Season 1, Episode 13
For some reason, Liza Weil is typecast as the unlikable, bitchy woman in everything I’ve seen her in (Paris Gellar?!). In TWW, she plays a young staffer who leaks Chief of Staff Leo McGarry’s troubled addict past. She gets fired, then gets rehired because Leo is da bomb.

Jane Lynch

Season 2, Episode 1
Pre-Glee, Jane Lynch spent her time in the White House press room, nagging Allison Janney for answers.

Sam Jaeger

Season 2, Episode 4
Before becoming a Braverman on Parenthood, Sam played a reporter in the White House. Look at how tiny he is!!

Eric Stonestreet

Screen shot 2013-10-02 at 9.36.41 PM

Season 2, Episode 19
Cam from Modern Family didn’t have many lines, but I’m sure he was an integral part to Oliver Platt’s White House Counsel.

Connie Britton

Season 3, Episode 2
Tami Taylor, y’all! She appeared in a few episodes as ‘Connie’, a Bartlet-Hoynes re-election campaign staffer. She was flawless before, she’s flawless now.

Dennis Haskins

Season 3, Episode 9
It’s really unfortunate that the guy I looked at as the ultimate high school principal turned into a creepo who owns a karaoke bar in Burbank. What happened to you, Mr. Belding? Luring Chief of Staff alcoholics liquor, that’s what.

Evan Rachel Wood

Season 3, Episode 21
This lucky bitch got to play CJ Cregg’s niece. And go shopping for designer clothes for prom. More jealous about the CJ Cregg thing, tho.

David Burtka

Season 3, Episode 21
Alright, how cute and adorable is Neil Patrick Harris’ boo?! Even though he played a young intern who ends up selling moose meat Josh gave Donna who gave it to David Burtka who illegally put it on eBay.

Amy Adams

Season 4, Episode 1
In the season opener, Bartlet & co. are back on the campaign trail, and we meet them in the middle of Indiana. Except the bus leaves without Toby and Josh, and they have to rely on farm girl Amy Adams to get them to their next stop in time. Really, it’s like she doesn’t age.

John Gallagher Jr.

Season 4, Episode 1
In the very same episode, high school student and Bartlet for America volunteer named Tyler helps out the gang by driving them around in his jeep. BTW, does he look familiar, Newsroom fans? Yep, that’s a young Jim Harper.
In fact, when John auditioned for Newsroom, Aaron Sorkin didn’t remember him from TWW, and just saw on his resume he had been in an episode. John of course refreshed his memory.

Danica McKellar

Season 4, Episode 6
Winnie Cooper guys, Winnie Cooper, back on TV! She played Will Bailey’s (Josh Malina) stepsister and assistant, Elsie Snuffin – an amazing name!

Christian Slater

Season 4, Episode 7
Basically if you were a person who got in the way of Donna and Josh’s sexual tension, I was not a fan. Enter Christian Slater. She met Lt. Commander Jack Reese outside a polling place, as she was trying to trade votes with a Republic voter after accidentally voting for the opponent instead of incumbent Democratic Pres Bartlet. They went out for approx 2 episodes before he was sent of to Italy. Good riddance.

Matthew Perry

Season 4, Episode 19
Technically Chandler still worked in the White House up until the new President moved in, but we only got to see him in a few episodes as the Associate White House Counsel. But their continuity is a little off since he was seen in season 4 as “Matthew Perry”, a celeb Donna tries to chat up during a Hollywood party. Oops.

Taye Diggs

Season 4, Episode 22
Let me start by saying this pic is what dreams are made of. My boyfriend Taye played a secret service agent who was in charge of keeping Pres Bartlet’s daughter Zoe (Elisabeth Moss) safe when she went out the night of her graduation. Except… things didn’t go so well…

Jesse Bradford

Season 5, Episode 2
Awesome, oh wow. Like totally freak me out I mean right *clap clap* the Toros sure are number one!!!
Jesse Bradford did not befriend a high school cheerleader in The West Wing. He basically followed Josh and Donna around just like in the gif.

Jason Isaacs

Season 5, Episode 21
Remember that thing I said about anyone getting in between Josh and Donna? Yeah, that goes for Lucius Malfoy. ESPECIALLY Lucius Malfoy. Jason Isaacs played a photojournalist Donna met during her trip to Gaza, and the two had a little fling. *Spoiler alert* Donna is one of the group of the White House who is injured in a car bombing, and Malfoy follows her to the German hospital she’s being treated in. Except Josh flies to her side too – to find the scene above…

Navid Negahban

Season 5, Episode 22 I would think it would suck to always be a Middle Eastern/Muslim/Terrorist if you’re of that ethnicity. But hey, as long as you keep gettin that dolla dolla billz, I guess it would be fine. Imagine my surprise when I found out Abu Nazir from Homeland showed up in the season finale as a foreign operative. I watch way too much TV to fully accept that Nazir travelled back in time to rendezvous with Josh Lyman.

Dean Norris

Season 7, Episode 6
Well, well, well, good old Hank Schrader, putting away his rocks and minerals in order to hang with the big guns. Dean came in for a couple of episodes in the last season, as the Chairman of the Republican National Committee, and while he may have had to face some tough politicians, I bet it was nothing compared to Heisenberg cornering you in your own garage.

Jon Bon Jovi

Season 7, Episode 15
What’s more American than getting Jon Bon Jovi to play at a campaign rally? Springsteen, probably, but he wasn’t available for this episode. JBJ even had speaking lines in this episode, where he helped raise money for Congressman Matt Santos’ (Jimmy Smits) campaign. He’s just livin on a bus and a prayer, you guys.

 

 

Michelle Tanner’s High-Fashion Fashions

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Remember Michelle Tanner’s outfits? They were the coolest – the oversized buttons, the sassy sweatsuits, the sunflower hats. Well, you can’t buy style that fly at The Children’s Place. Nope – those fashions went straight from the runway, to a seamstress who cuts down clothing for children and tiny adults, to your television. I didn’t believe it, either, but this week Ashley Olsen said:

We’d be in six-hour fittings three times a week, because we had to wear 12 different outfits. The majority of the wardrobe was made up of adult pieces, including Chanel and Marc Jacobs, cut to fit.

Now, I’d never call Ashley Olsen a liar (Mary-Kate, on the other hand…). It’s just that, even in the crazy 80s, I thought that Chanel and Marc Jacobs were a little more dignified than this:

Thanks to Olivia Newton John, aerobic wear was all the rage, and Givenchy went off the rails for a while there.

From Armani’s Fall/Winter 1990 “Cartoon Pandas And Whales” line.

The 90s were in full swing, and the House of Versace was all about these fetus-sized voodoo dolls with yarn hair.

Every student of fashion knows the 1992 collaboration between Jean-Paul Gaultier and Lisa Frank.

(L) Olsen in Oleg Cassini (Resort Collection); (R) Baby Jess Merriweather in Gymboree.

The running motif in Jil Sander’s poorly-received Spring 1991 line? Big-assed buttons.

Princess Diana wore nautical pieces on a Greek vacation, and the next season, Commes des Garcons was – in designer Kawakubo’s own words – “trying a thing.”

I thought that this was both twins, circa 1995, in Vera Wang. However, I’m told that this is a full-grown Mary-Kate Olsen, appearing alongside her paramour and an actual child. Honest mistake.

Vintage Chanel Couture.

You thought your third grade teacher was buying her Christmas sweaters at Christopher & Banks? Try Dolce & Gabbana.

‘You Know What? Everyone Just Give Up For A While’ – cover story of Vogue’s September Issue, 1989 – and the inspiration for this ensemble.

McDonald’s Food From Around the World

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The last time I was in the Philippines in 2005 (if we’re just meeting for the first time, my parents moved from the Philippines to the States in the 1970s, I was born in western New York and I used to go “back home” every five years for a family reunion. I have landed a real job since I was a teenager, have not been back since), I was sitting in a mall food court and taking particular note of the McDonalds items on the menu.

It looked something like this:

Some items of note: Longganisa (typical Filipino breakfast sausage), spaghetti, fried chicken and of course, rice. I guess it never occurred to me until then that McDonalds, although one of the most recognized brands in the world, must change up their menu in order to accommodate the tastes and palettes of  its local customers.

During my time studying abroad in Europe, I did my best to take in the local cuisine, but throughout a four month period, you just have to indulge in something that’s more familiar. While waiting for a plane in Madrid, I just HAD to have McDonalds, even though i rarely ate it in America. Even their menu was extremely different.

¿Discúlpeme, España? Your desayunos include toasted english muffins with olive oil, donuts and croissants? Yo quiero McDonalds, amirite Taco Bell?!

So there’s gotta be a bunch of other weird/different/interesting local food incorporated in McDs across the globe right? Here are some standouts from around the world.

China

Taro Pie
Taro is a common potato-like item that’s usually found in Asia and the Pacific Islands, so selling it in China is kinda like our apple pies. It’s similar to chunky mashed potatoes, but sweet and purple. And obviously attractive.

Fresh Corn Cup
This is self-explanatory, but just know that if you don’t feel like having fries, you can get this instead.

Hong Kong

Samurai Burger
This concoction includes a pork patty covered in Teriyaki sauce, egg, lettuce, and Japanese lemon mayo. It’s just familiar yet odd enough that I would try a bite of it.

Twisty Pasta
Inspired by the popular breakfast dish, this McDonald’s version includes macaroni pasta, chicken broth, carrots, corn, peas, topped with a sausage and egg.

India

Since all McDonalds in India don’t serve beef or pork per the Hindu belief, a lot of the foods in the country are specially crafted to include a lot of veggies and incorporate their cuisine. This is the McAloo Tikki, a patty made of potato and peas, coated in Indian spices and breadcrumbs, and topped with sweet tomato mayo, onions and tomatoes.

Veggie Pops
Potatoes and spinach in a crunchy breadcrumb outside? Sign me up.

Spicy Paneer Wrap
If you’re an Indian food fan, you’re probs familiar with paneer, a cheese used in a bunch of Indian dishes. McD’s decided to take a huge chunk of it, fry it, put it alongside lettuce, tomatoes, some kind of sauce and melted cheese in a wrap.

Flavor Twist (Green Apple)
It’s like the regular McD’s ice cream – but with GREEN APPLE. HELLO, AMERICA?!?!

Indonesia

Because who doesn’t like a good porridge from McDonald’s?

Japan

EBI Filet-O
Shrimp. This is a shrimp burger. That’s really all there is to it.

Bacon Potato Pie
I mean this is pretty straightfoward. Forget apple pie. Bacon potato is where it’s at.

Cheese Katsu sandwich
A thin piece of pork, cheese stuffed in the middle of it, then fried to a crisp and put in a sandwich. So, clearly, really good for you.

Shaka Shaka Chicken
It’s like a giant chicken McNugget in a paper bag. You choose a flavor, like cheese or lemon or pepper seasonings, pour it into the bag, then shake and enjoy. Not really sure why this is such a big hit in Japan. It’s essentially fast food Shake ‘N Bake.

Saudi Arabia

The McArabia
Served in warm pita bread, this item is made with grilled chicken or grilled kofta – beef with spices – and paired with lettuce, tomatoes, onions and garlic mayo. Garlic mayo?!

South Korea

Bulgogi Burger
Bulgogi is one of Korea’s most popular delicacies, so obvs it needs to be put between McD’s famous buns. The marinated barbecue beef is covered in bulgogi sauce and structured just like a Big Mac.

Egypt

McFalafel
No meat? No problem. Delicious falafel instead!

Taiwan

McRice burger
You know Ramen burgers? This is kinda like that. But rice patties. Sorry, FRIED rice patties….

France

CroqueMcDo
This item is a play on the traditional French croque-monsieur sandwich, consisting of two slices of Emmental cheese and a slice of ham toasted between two hamburger buns. Because if you’re in France, eat the best French food at McDonald’s.

Germany

The Nürnberger
What’s Germany without sausage?! And what better way to rep Germany than to put not one, not two, but three small, spiced sausages on a roll!?

McCurrywurst
This is a fairly new item, introduced in February, and is a play off the popular item, Currywurst. Sausage, yet again, in a tangy tomato sauce and curry powder, served with either bread or fries. Seems like a bit of reach to me.

Greece

Greek Mac & Spring Rolls
Not only does Greece have their own version of the BigMac on Pita bread, but they servce spring rolls too. Spring rolls!

The Netherlands

McKroket
In college, I studied abroad in The Netherlands, and in many of the train stations, there were fast food vending machines, where you would buy stuff that looked exactly like this McKroket, except sans buns. This is the same thing – a deep fried roll containing beef ragout, served with frite sauce – aka a special mayo that is delish on this as well as frites aka french fries!

Stroopwafel McFlurry
Holy crap, guys. McFlurries are obviously not a new thing. But this stroopwafel is. Stroopwafel is a popular snack/dessert which is two thin layers of waffle with baked caramel-like batter in the middle and it’s amazing. AND NOW IT’S IN A MCFLURRY?! I NEED TO GO BACK JUST FOR THIS.

Norway

Laksewrap
Deep-fried fish with salad and a mango slice in a tortilla. Because, Scandinavia.

UK

Bacon Roll
Because it’s from England, it’s exactly what it sounds like, and probably tastes as disgusting as it sounds.

Mince Meat Pie
Because the British can only out-British their own during the holiday season.

Canada

McLobster
For some reason, a lobster roll from a Canadian McDonald’s sounds much less sketchy than getting on in America…?

Mexico

McMolletes
Mexican bfast? English muffin topped with refried beans, cheese and pico de gallo. Si.

New Zealand

McPavlova
Based on the popular New Zealand dessert called Pavlova, this is crisp meringue, topped with soft serve ice cream and passionfruit sauce. I would like this right after the Stroopwafel McFlurry, please.

Playlist Of The Month: Songs By People Who Scare Me

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October is the month for pretty foliage, pumpkin everything, for people to freak out when it gets darker around 5:30pm, and of course, Halloween.

Regarding this festive holiday, there are four types of people when it comes to Halloween.

1) Kids

2) Adults who like dressing up

3) Adults who don’t really care about dressing up but who enjoy going to non-stop parties

4) People who like to get scared.

If you qualify in that fourth category, this playlist if for you. We figure that instead of playing Monster Mash over and over again, you need a real playlist that will make you so scared because the artists who sing them are actually the most frightening people in the world. Read on to see if the musicians who you can’t bare to listen to are on our playlist of the month!

And check out (if you’re brave enough) check out the entire playlist on Spotify!

Molly’s Picks

R. Kelly – Trapped In The Closet (Chapter 1)

I like R. Kelly’s music, most of the time. Really, I do. It’s just that I can’t see him without being reminded that whatever it is he’s doing, he’d probably rather be peeing on young girls.

Marilyn Manson – The Dope Show

All of the “goth” and “alternative” kids in my children’s theater troupe in the late 90s (shut up) were into Marilyn Manson, but Mainstream Molly here was not a fan. It’s not that I think he’s really violent – in interviews he’s a nice, normal guy. It’s the concept of a 40-year-old who is still hanging on to that teenaged urge to piss off “the man” that scares me.

Courtney Love – Celebrity Skin

I know. If Tavi loves her, I should love her. But still. If I can think of one person I’d be terrified to get into a twitter feud with, or date her ex-boyfriend, or run into when she’s coming down off some crazy drugs, it’s Courtney Love.

Tiny Tim – Tiptoe Through The Tulips

No. Nope. No, no, no. When I have a dream that I’m getting married by accident and have no way out of it, this is the face I see after my veil is lifted. While best known for his rendition of Tiptoe Through The Tulips, theres something extra-horrifying about this guy who sounds like a ghost  from the 1920s singing Do Ya Think I’m Sexy, Highway To Hell, and Stayin’ Alive (he covered them all)]

Hatebreed – Destroy Everything

I first heard about this band last year, when CNN mislabeled them as a white supremacist band. They’re… not?… I guess. Which is good, because we don’t want to give anything like that clicks. However, they still do seem to hate everyone. They just hate them all equally. I know you can’t judge a book by its cover, but that’s mostly what this post was about, and if I broke down on the highway and my choice was to get a ride with these guys or wait in an unheated car in a snowstorm 3 hours for AAA to show up, I’d take the latter, no question.

Traci’s Picks

Metallica – Enter Sandman

I listen to/can tolerate a lot of different genres of music – except metal. Anything that is remotely heavy metal or punk rock or screamo or doesn’t involve harmonies but does involve yelling and anger, I’m not a fan. My ears deserve better. Which is why one of the best heavy metal bands is on this list. I don’t appreciate middle-aged white men screaming at me in real life, I don’t appreciate it through the speakers either.

Rammstein – Du Hast

I remember when this song popped up in the 1990s MTV era and I was like ‘What in the world am I watching right now? Bring back BSB.’ If it isn’t apparent, Rammstein is a German band which was named after an air show disaster in 1988. And PS: Du Hast in German translates to ‘You Hate’, so there’s that. They’re known for their controversial (and offensive) stage shows and music videos, but they’ve sold 25 million records worldwide, so I guess there’s a market for this kind of crap.

Insane Clown Posse – Hokus Pokus

Alright, let’s be clear. Not only do I think people dressed up like this are scary, but the spectacle is completely unnecessary. I get that everyone has their freedom of expression, but ugh I just don’t get it or think it’s a good thing to be teaching the younger generations. Anyways, back to ICP – they definitely picked the appropriate name for their band, because they are exactly that. The first thing I think of when hearing ICP is the  Juggalo convention. Don’t know what it is? Get ready to have your mind blown (and mind blown here-NSFW/NSFL). Alcohol, drugs, nudity, sex, death, objectifying women, everything that’s great about America.

Slipknot – Snuff


There was a few kids at my middle school that liked Slipknot and I never understood why, because I felt like they should have merged their group with ICP, but also because they were scary as hellll. All the members wear masks from out of a horror movie, and no one knows their names since they all go by numbers or like, ‘guy with protruding pins coming out of his head’. The most disturbing thing is that their songs have inspired people to commit crimes and grave rob. Lit’rally rob a grave.

Gwar – Sick of You


Hi, this band’s members looks like if video game villains came to life and then they throw (fake?) blood into the crowd during concerts. Enough said. (Sidenote: since I’ve never heard a song by the last 3 artists, I just picked the most popular off Spotify. So I mean, my apologies if they’re the worst.)

Keeping Up With Kanye: Twitter Style

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If you’ve been Keeping Up with the Kanye (see what I did there?), you known that he was recently involved in an utterly bizzare Twitter feud with Jimmy Kimmel. Yes, you read that right, late night TV host/comedian Jimmy Kimmel. Basically, Yeezy got mad that Jimmy made a spoof of one of his recent interviews where he goes off about leather jogging pants, among other things, and Jimmy used two kids to repeat verbatim when Kanye told the interviewer.

Ye wasn’t delighted about this for some reason and went on Twitter to go OFF on Jimmy. This is just a snippet:

Kanye graciously agreed to appear on Jimmy’s show and worked it all out, but good LORD the guy can talk. You know how some people type in all caps to express a point? Yeah, Kanye does it IRL. The entire interview was like a stream of consciousness and while he did bring up some valid points, it was still exhausting to watch.

And while this is the most publicized Twitter feud Ye’s had, it’s certainly not the least entertaining of his tweets. Despite taking a long break from Twitter, he still managed to come up with some of the most ridic comments about life, society, fashion and music.  Here are just a few of my faves from the past few years.

I love commercial art!!! I know that sounds like an oxy moron and if I spelled that wrong I just sound like a moron lol!!! —Sept. 23, 2010

You basically can say anything to someone on an email or text as long as you put LOL at the end —Sept. 16, 2010

When he has celebrity problems:

Fur pillows are hard to actually sleep on —Aug. 1, 2010

Man…whatever happened to my antique fish tank? —Sept. 9, 2010

I ordered the salmon medium instead of medium well I didn’t want to ruin the magic —July 29, 2010

Do you know where to find marble conference tables? I’m looking to have a conference…not until I get the table though —Aug. 28, 2010

Is illuminati and devil worshipping like the same thing…do they have a social network that celebs can sign up for? —Oct. 24, 2010

When he just types words:

When he thinks he’s a stand-up comic:

Man…ninjas are kind of cool…I just don’t know any personally —Sept. 23, 2010

Imma make a book of my tweets.. tweetbook —Aug. 10, 2010

Don’t you hate when people clap to loud in the car…it’s like yo this is a closed area.. your clapping is waaay to loud!!! hahahahahaaa —Aug. 15, 2010

I would like to thank Julius Caesar for originating my hairstyle —Jan 21, 2011

When I feel like we could be the same person:

Sometimes I push the door close button on people running towards the elevator. I just need my own elevator sometimes, my 7 floor sanctuary —Aug. 4, 2010

When he talks about his craft:

And when he’s just all around hilarious:

Non-Scary Movies That Will Scare the $HiT Out of You

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I’m not much of a horror movie person. I would rather see all the rom-coms in existence (ranging from Hallmark Channel to When Harry Met Sally) than sit through a marathon of Friday the 13th movies. It’s not particularly because it’s scary, but because I don’t find the appeal in watching someone get bludgeoned to death with like a knife or a chainsaw.

The first movie I remember ever thinking was truly frightening was The Sixth Sense, because that was the paranormal factor yet ‘realistic’ side to it that freaked me out when I was just 13. Movies that aren’t necessarily considered horror – that are more psychologically scary are waayyy more horrific than any Mike Meyers type film. Here’s my list of scary non-scary movies that actually make me lost my shit.

Gravity

So I saw the trailer for this in the movie theater and IMMEDIATELY said ‘NOPE’ outloud. But then a couple weeks ago, it finally came out and the buzz was through the roof. No one said anything about the plot, or the outcome , just that it was amazing and would blow your mind.

Because I sometimes cave to peer pressure, I finally saw it. And holy shit was everyone right. There is no way to accurately describe the feeling you have throughout and after watching this movie, other than it affects you. Emotionally, physically – it makes you feel something that I’ve never felt before. The only thing I can kind of compare it to is after I saw Inception, I legit had to sit in my seat until they kicked us out because I didn’t know what to do with myself (slash I wanted to know if the top fell or not). It’s like Inception but 10 times worse/better.

There were definitely parts where the anxiety level was high, and seeing Sandra Bullock and George Clooney dangle in space was absolutely horrifying. But it reminds you that we are just a small part of this entire galaxy, and maybe that’s the most frightening part of it all.

Requiem for a Dream

I was introduced to this film my freshman year of college in one of my writing classes (liberal arts school = a writing class where my final paper was about Studio 54 and Macaulay Culkin’s Party Monster). Now I don’t do drugs, but after watching this film there was no way in hell I was ever going to start. The way Darren Aronofsky makes you feel like you’re actually doing drugs with them was plenty enough for me to feel like I was high too. The close up cinematography of the drugs themselves was a startling reminder of what you’re actually dealing with – and not to mention I think Breaking Bad may have taken a page out of Aronofsky’s book.

And the music? Yeah, if I hear the first few notes of Lux Aeterna, it takes me to a place in my mind I never want to be. Bitches be crazy on drugs, y’all.

Contagion

To be completely honest, the idea of Contagion sounded so scary to me that I couldn’t even watch the movie. I’m just putting it on here because it sounds like the worst possible thing that could feasibly happen to the citizens of the world. It hits too close too home and I don’t like it one bit. This is why I don’t like going out – people can catch things.

Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory

At first glance, this is a fun children’s movie, right? WRONG. As much as I love this movie, let’s be real. What kind of creepy old man, who hasn’t been seen in years, has a contest to invite kids into his sketchy chocolate factory, which is all really a test to see who would become his rightful heir? And come on – this scene alone? Why did we let kids watch this movie?!?

Black Swan

Going in to Black Swan, I really didn’t think it was going to be as creepy and unsettling as it actually was. But leave it up to Darren Aronofsky once again to freak your bean. Remember the part with the feathers? Yeah, that still haunts me to this day.

Fantasia

Hands down, the weirdest Disney film ever. I remember seeing this in the theater with my parents and falling asleep, but I think it was really because I subconsciously didn’t want my innocent eyes to see the ecstasy trip that was happening on screen. Honestly, if I did drugs (which again, thank Requiem for that), it would probably be a much better film? IDK though guys, it still doesn’t make sense to me and I imagine that that’s what Disney hell looks like.

BONUS:

Unsolved Mysteries

Don’t tell me this theme song alone didn’t make you want to run into a corner and cry. I would make my parents change the channel anytime it accidentally came on because it was THAT frightening… I really shouldn’t have been watching so much television as a kid…

How Much Is That Beanie Baby In the eBay Window?

Posted in Lists, Miscellany by

beanie babies collection

You know them, you had them, you hated them – Beanie Babies were a craze in the 90s, selling out in Hallmark and toys stores around the world in hopes that one day, they would be a gold mine. At least that’s what the original point of them was. Today, no one really cares about them anymore.

Ironically last month, Ty Warner, the creator of the 90s craze of stuffed animals, was charged with – dun dun dunnnnn – tax evasion. He allegedly kept $93 million in a secret offshore account at the United Bank of Switzerland (because, neutrality?) between 1996 and 2002, at the height of Beanie Baby popularity. In 2002, he failed to pay upwards of $1.2 million owed on the $3.1 million in income made through investments in the Swiss account. The guy has to pay more than $53 million in civil penalties and could also be in the clinker for a max of five years.

Welp. Looks like the Beanie Babies creator isn’t a billionaire like he thought he would be. And neither are the owners of hundreds of BB who had hoped they would be worth a fortune in the future. Now people are just trying to get rid of the damn things that are taking up too much space in their kids’ rooms. Mama just wants a new home gym, amirite ladies?

I am totally guilty of having a collection of these cute critters, and even had one of those books that listed all the available beanies, and I would check them off as I added them to my plethora of furry friends. I have no idea where they are now or what my mother has done with them, but I do know that I cannot be the only one who has a handful of these stored in my parents’ house.

In fact, there are people who are willing to let go of these items that still, one day, could be worth thousands of dollars (jk, these will never be worth anything frreal). Here are a few collectibles I found on eBay. Just try and guess how much these folks are selling them for. Whether it be too high or too low, either way, these things are too ridiculous for anyone to purchase at all.

CHOCOLATE THE MOOSE

(highlight the space between the arrows or click on the pic for the actual price!)

>>> $1.98 <<<

FLUTTER THE BUTTERFLY

“This is very desirable & sought after TY Beanie Baby. It has a 3rd Gen hang tag & a 2nd Gen tush tag. It is Mint with 99% mint hang tag. ” A lot of lingo to say ‘good condition’

>>> $89.89 <<<

Teddy with Old Face

Is it me, or is this bear squatting and crossing his legs??

>>> $149.00 <<<

Scorch

>>> $1.99 <<<

Eucalyptus the Koala

>>> $19.99 <<<

Erin

AKA the Irish bear.  Apparently she’s extremely rare. Complete with Guiness in hand (not really, but they should)

>>> $350.00 <<<

Nibbles the Guinea Pig

No parent should ever purchase this for their child. What even IS this monstrosity??

>>> $29.99<<<

Digger the Orange Crab

>>> $14.99<<<

Pinata the Bear

Because apparently, they made an international collection. and weren’t even clever about it. ‘Let’s just print a pattern of their flag on it!’, the now jobless designers of Beanie Babies, circa 1998

>>> $4.00<<<

And now it’s time to guess which one of these RARE Princess Diana bears costs more than the other!

On is listed as $9.90, the other $350,000.00

A)

B)

The answer is….

>>>>>>> A) $350,000.00 & B)  $9.90 <<<<<<<

For fuck’s sake they are the EXACT same thing.