Things We Need to Revisit From the 2016 Emmy Awards

The 68th Annual Primetime Emmy Awards were last night and per usual, there were a lot of highlights and lowlights of the ceremony. But unexpectedly, a lot of our favorites took home the gold, and that’s why they helped make the Emmys one to remember. Here are some moments that we need to revisit today, and many days after today.

Stranger Things Kids Continue To Be Totally Rad

T: Handing out PB&J sandwiches on bicycles was an OK touch, but letting Gaten, Millie and Caleb take the stage to show their true talents of singing and dancing is the real win.

M: These kids are so pure and delightful I almost want to send them to 1983 to grow up there.

Hillary Clinton Wins An Emmy

T: Cue the first tears of the night. I legitimately rewound this reaction shot three times in a row right after it happened, and continue to be mesmerized by this GIF. Her speech was a tear jerker, but there was a cynical part of me that had me thinking… Kate truly deserved this for her performances this year, right? Listen, I love Kate and think she does great work on SNL, but part of me feels like Emmy voters partially gave the win to her because of Ghostbusters? Call it the Melissa McCarthy Effect. Remember when she won an Emmy the year she was in Bridesmaids? Yeah. But again, Kate is super talented and deserves all the praise she can get.

M: Kate is one of those SNL cast members who I noticed from her very first weeks and predicted that she’d be one of the great ones. She’s just that obviously good.

President of Tears

T: Did anybody else notice JLD didn’t seem herself when she got up to accept her award? She was shaky and looked like she wasn’t even planning a bit  – then it all made sense when she talked about her dad. Out of her six acting Emmy wins, I feel like this might be her most memorable.

M: After her speech, I remembered how sad she looked at the end of Kate’s speech and it was right when Kate had mentioned her dad. I know we say this a lot, but we just love JLD.

Score one for Long Duck Dong

T: In all seriousness, I am so so glad Aziz and Master of None co-creator/writer Alan Yang won for Best Writing. I wrote about the episode they won for, Parents, last year, and I’m just glad Emmy voters and viewers alike paid enough attention to a show which features so much diversity and the untold stories of first generation kids. My only gripe is that Aziz didn’t get to give his speech at all.

You Turkeys

T: Remember how our beloved Amy finally won her very first Emmy last week? Well she did, and she’s sharing it with her color-coordinating comedy wife Tina, and we were #blessed with their presence last night. Ever more #blessed that Amy called them out for nominating her 18 times without ever giving her a legit trophy.

M: They coordinated their dresses, right? I just think it’s really cute if they coordinated their dresses.

Sarah Paulson + Holland Taylor 4Ever

T: There was a time when these two didn’t publicly acknowledge each other as their significant others, and here we are, living in a world where all of the Internet can swoon in jealousy over their love. Yes, Sarah was for sure the right person to win an Emmy, but another thing I know for sure – I have a new ship.

M: I think we’ve had a WCW post about Sarah Paulson in our drafts for like a year and I’m not even sure which one of us did it.  I love that after years of working steadily, Sarah’s had this massive boost in her career lately.

Fred Armisen? More Like FredArminstein

T: Fred showed up in a hearse. And with bolts in his neck. Never change, man.

M: The “Armenstein” joke was cute, Traci.

Leslie Jones Slays All Day

T: You gotta give it up for Leslie Jones who continues to get back up every time assholes attempt to knock her down. And when she does get back up, she laughs it off and makes all of us laugh with her.

Bill Cosby Isn’t Here

M: Jimmy announced that Bill Cosby was coming on stage and Tina Fey was all of us:

So was Ellie Kemper:

Don’t worry, Bill Cosby wasn’t there.

How Do You Like Them Apples?

T: Matt Damon continues to ruin Jimmy Kimmel’s life. As soon as he came out eating that apple, I KNEW he was going to make a Good Will Hunting Reference.

Oh, We’re ALL Seeing This, Rami

T: I don’t watch Mr. Robot, but I did watch Rami in the one episode of Gilmore Girls, and he is great. I refer to Molly for this one.

M: Thanks, Traci. Okay here we go:

Mr. Robot is a show you should be watching if you aren’t already (I’m going to specifically recommend it to fans of Orphan Black). There’s this incredible ensemble cast but the whole thing rests on how amazing Rami Malek is. His character has a tenuous grip on reality, but he’s also broken and kind and incredibly intelligent – miles away from the “complex lonely guy” archetype. IRL, Rami just seems like a real gem of a human in addition to being good-looking and all that. His cousin was his Emmys date, he really loves his mom, and he interrupted an actor roundtable because everyone kept using male pronouns when discussing directors. He deserved to win and I’m so happy for him. PS he has a twin brother. Back to you, Traci.

Give TatMas 12 Emmys For Each Clone Pls

T: I can barely look at any videos or pix or GIFs or tweets from her co-stars because I start to tear up. I am so proud of this talented angel of a human in a way I would be proud if one of my nearest and dearest won an award.

M: I was so used to Tatiana not even getting nominated that I didn’t think she would win (SHOULD win, yes). I almost feel like she went so long without a nomination/win because she’s so amazing: as though voters who don’t watch the show couldn’t really understand that she was playing all of these characters, and none of them a caricature.

It was such a blur after she won that I had to rewatch her speech Monday morning because I forgot what she even said.

Also, we love Canadians.

Also also, she and her boyfriend are very cute:

 

A few Best Dressed faves:

Kerry Washington in Brandon Maxwell
ARE YOU KIDDING ME??? THIS HOT MAMA. THE DRESS, THE HAIR, THE BUMP?! I wish to look like her any day of the week.

ARE YOU KIDDING ME??? THIS HOT MAMA. THE DRESS, THE HAIR, THE BUMP?! I wish to look like her any day of the week.

Kristen Bell in Zuhair Murad
It's like if Princess Anna was a modern day TV star and nominated for Best Actress in a Limited Series.

It’s like if Princess Anna was a modern day TV star and nominated for Best Actress in a Limited Series.

Yara Shahidi in Clara Rotescu

I don’t watch black-ish, but I am kind of obsessed with Yara? She seems like such a poised, smart, talented young lady who is ready to become a role model to girls (and women) of all backgrounds. This dress is perfect for a 16-year-old who’s still young and playful but also an actress on the verge of being a grown-up. Also, she’s the type of stunning that makes you feel like a creep because you’ve been stalking her on Insta for too long what

Priyanka Chopra in Jason Wu
I mean, come on.  I love how this plays off of the diaphanous, one-shoulder trend that's been going on for a few awards seasons but puts it in vibrant color.

I mean, come on. I love how this plays off of the diaphanous, one-shoulder trend that’s been going on for a few awards seasons but puts it in vibrant color.

Rami Malek in Dior
White dinner jackets have made a comeback in the past few years and with the new slimmer tailoring, they're not looking like your dad's wedding outfit from 1975. IMO, black pants are crucial to keep it from looking like a first communion suit.

White dinner jackets have made a comeback in the past few years and with the new slimmer tailoring, they’re not looking like your dad’s wedding outfit from 1975. IMO, black pants are crucial to keep it from looking like a first communion suit.

Sarah Paulson in Prada
We all have those celebs who are hit-or-miss for us on the red carpet (Kerry, Kirsten, I'm looking at you). Sarah Paulson is one of mine, but when she looks incredible she looks really incredible. I love a nice vibrant green and Sarah, Tina and Amy were looking like the queens of the Emerald City last night. There are so few times you can wear a gown embroidered in crystals and stones, you know?

We all have those celebs who are hit-or-miss for us on the red carpet (Kerry, Kirsten, I’m looking at you). Sarah Paulson is one of mine, but when she looks incredible she looks really incredible. I love a nice vibrant green and Sarah, Tina and Amy were looking like the queens of the Emerald City last night. There are so few times you can wear a gown embroidered in crystals and stones, you know?

 

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Man Crush Monday: John Krasinski

I think it’s only appropriate that today’s Man Crush Monday goes out to one of the loves of my life, John Krasinski – this, on the day of his 35th birthday.

You probably know John as the only sane guy working at Dunder Mifflin in The Office. You may also know him as Emily Blunt’s husband, Hazel Krasinski’s father, or the dude who does the voiceovers for Esurance. To me, he is one of those people that always ends up on the short list of my ‘celebrity crushes’ (I definitely don’t have that written down somewhere) because of his charm, wit, and acting abilities. So to celebrate the anniversary of his birth, let’s go over just a few of the reasons why JKras is my Man Crush for this Monday and all Mondays to come.

He’s a Boston Boy

John was born and raised in Newton, Massachusetts, which is right on the outskirts of Boston. Being that Boston is like a second home to me, I feel like we have a connection – especially since he is proudly wearing all that Celtics/Red Sox garb making him even hotter. Also I have friends who are from Newtown and we may or may not have found out where he grew up/his parents’ house is and may or may not have done a drive by. It’s fine. Not at all creepy.

He’s An Ivy League Grad

While attending Newton South High School, John starred a play (which The Office co-star BJ Novak wrote) but it didn’t really make him want to become an actor. He was accepted to Brown University but was put on the wait list so decided to go to Costa Rica to teach English before heading off to college for the second semester. While at Brown, he helped coach a local youth basketball team. I mean smart and philanthropic? Are you real? So he went in as an English major and didn’t get the real acting bug until he was part of a staged reading for David Foster Wallace’s Brief Interviews With Hideous Men, which, full circle, he adapted for film and starred in directed in it in 2009. It was during that reading that he realized he could use his talents to become an actor and writer. He ended up graduated from Brown with honors in English as a playwright.

He’s Charming As All Hell

Salesman Jim Halpert was a charming motherfucker who was just too good to ever stay at Dunder Mifflin, but it all worked out since he got the girl in the end. But that charm and wit is not just Jim Halpert – it comes from John Krasinski. It’s hard to see anyone else in that role because JKras made it what it was. In fact I think both Adam Scott and John Cho were up for the role, so can you imagine how much more different Jim would be if they were cast. If you’ve seen any of his TV interviews, you know how personable he is, and this video is just one example. If you listen closely, you can hear women all over the world droppin their panties during the vid.

He Was Meant To Be Jim Halpert

After he decided to be an actor, John moved to New York City in hopes of being living the dream – being paid to act. He was waiting tables and not really getting any work and got to the point where he was ready to give up. He said he would go on one more audition, and if it didn’t work, it would be a sign that he needed to pick a new career path. That audition was for The Office and the rest is history. John has said that the show has changed his life in more ways than one, not only with all the professional success in his life, but if he had never moved out to Los Angeles to shoot the show, and if the show never took off the way it did, he would have never been able to meet his wife, the lovely Emily Blunt. He was meant to be Jim Halpert, just like Jenna Fischer was meant to be his Pam. ❤ ❤ OTP ❤ ❤

He’s the Most Adorable When He Breaks

With all the hilarious material the folks at The Office were given, it’s nearly impossible to not laugh during a scene. This is evident in all the bloopers from the nine seasons of the show, which I admittedly have watched way too many times. While John is a tall drink of a man, when he breaks, he kind of turns into a giggly little girl. It’s totes adorbs.

He Is Great At Physical Comedy

John wasn’t given a lot of physical comedy during The Office, but if you want to see his lanky self do some hilarious bits, watch License to Wed or Leatherheads. Or just watch him doing this amazing marionette bit over and over and over again.

He Is Great At Drama, Too

Because he’s most known for his role on The Office, people don’t automatically think of him as a dramatic actor. But that will change if you see him in one of my personal favorite movies, Away We Go. I originally saw this movie strictly for him, but I was delightfully surprised to see that it was actually a wonderful film. Plus you can’t go wrong when you share the screen with Maya Rudolph, Allison Janney and Chris Messina.

He Has The Greatest Wife

When your celebrity crush gets married, the only thing that will cure your shattered (delusional) dreams is if the person they’re marrying is equally as awesome. Luckily, John married the equally awesome Emily Blunt who is devastatingly beautiful and talented and funny. And when they’re together, it’s even better. Have you checked out their Ice Bucket Challenges?!

He’s The Greatest Dad

LIKE, CAN U NOT, KRASINSKIS? CAN U ACTUALLY NOT.

He Wins All The Lip Sync Battles


I AM NOT STOPPING WITH THE CAPS LOCK BECAUSE I SAVED THE BEST FOR LAST. YOU MAY HAVE SEEN EMMA STONE AND JOSEPH GORDON-LEVITT CHALLENGE JIMMY FALLON IN A LIP SYNC BATTLE, BUT THE PERSON WHO STARTED IT ALL WAS JOHN KRASINSKI. AND WHEN THEY DID THIS FOR THE FIRST TIME I’M PRETTY SURE I LIT’RALLY SWOONED. I STILL SWOON. MAKE SURE YOU’RE SITTING DOWN BEFORE YOU WATCH THIS.

What’s In Shailene Woodley’s Bag?

According to Shailene Woodley, Shailene Woodley is a clay-eating, toothpaste-making, showtune-in-the-morning singing not-feminist who talks about “Gaia” and gathers spring water from a mountain brook. She’s also slightly homeless. Does this surprise anyone?

Woodley’s not homeless in the “not having a home” sense: she owns one, but her grandma lives there (because, if it doesn’t come through enough here: Shailene Woodley seems really, really nice). She’s more homeless in the “sleeping on my friends’ sofas, clogging the sink drain with lumps of clay, encouraging them to use those salt crystal sticks that, no, do NOT work just as well as deodorant, thank you very much” sense. (While we’re at it, I feel bad that regular deodorant is going to give me Alzheimers/cancer and if anyone could point me to a natural alternative that doesn’t make me smell, it’s probably Shailene).

Well, let’s let Shailene explain it, actually:

So … is Shailene Woodley magic? (Probably, yeah; wouldn’t be surprised.) Jimmy Kimmel examines her assertion that all of her possessions can fit in one carry-on sized bag, but Shai’s not really helping. Is this a normal bag or is it a mystical bottomless bag, a la Mary Poppins or The Barney Bag? I can only assume that it’s the latter, maybe given to her on a moonlit mountain sojourn by an enchanted forest crone.

Let’s inventory Shailene Woodley’s bag. On Kimmel she lists the following items: (1) computer; (1) hoodie situation; (1) pair jeans; (some) basic tees and tanks; (1) temporary cell phone because the studio got annoyed that she kept disappearing into the wilderness to worship the moon goddess; and (indeterminate) leggings.

Okay, let’s all picture all of those items. They’d totally fit into an airplane-standard carry-on, I think we can all agree. But that can’t be it, right? Based on my research, here are some other things that Shailene Woodley owns:

  • Vibram Five-Finger Shoes: Those glove-shoes that seem like they were invented by the guy who has the patent on those little round blister band-aids, in order to drum up business.

  • Water jugs: Specifically, “5-gallon carboy situations”. Girl. You know this isn’t fitting in a carry-on – wheeled or duffel. Maybe it’s her personal item.

  • Makeup and makeup remover: You can read all about Shailene’s favorite products here. You could make an argument that she doesn’t own the makeup and only wears it for appearances, but at least the remover sort of has to live with her.
  • Just a little bit of shampoo: Because she only shampoos about once a month. See article, above. (I tried this for a while and it worked until it didn’t. Some people swear by it. Probably depends on your hair type.)
  • Some clay: She eats about a teaspoon of clay every day, and makes toothpaste out of it as well. I’d say conservative estimate, you can count on at least two cups of clay so she doesn’t have to keep buying clay all the time. But if you are extra crazy and go to the website of Woodley’s recommended clay vendor, you would see that the smallest size clay-ball is 1 pound. So there you have it. A one-pound bag of clay, chipped away a teaspoon at a time.
  • This horseradish root:

See, she has a sense of humor about her hippie-neo-witch vibe, and that’s why I like her.

  • A mason jar: She carries one everywhere. Says co-star Miles Teller, “she always has a mason jar and 100% of the time it smells like crap.” Well, there’s that, then.

  • Presumably some kind of reusable menstrual product deal:  She follows DivaCup and New Moon pads on Twitter, and I can’t imagine you follow those companies because of all their awesome 140-character jokes, right? Also, this tweet:

I’ve now spent enough time in Woodley’s twitter feed to know that she calls her period “moon time.” New product idea: that one puberty class you had to go to in fifth grade, rewritten by Shailene Woodley to be 100% more earthy. 10/10, would attend.

  • Mushroom tea: I can’t imagine this tasting like anything but diluted, terrible mushroom soup. I’m only including the tea here because I’m pretty sure that the kind of people who host Shailene Woodley on their guest futon also are the type of people who own a tea kettle.
  • Chinese herbal supplements: the better to make her breath smell of dirt and creeks and forests before kissing scenes. Her costar literally used the word “musty.”

HOLY SHIT THAT’S A LOT OF STUFF.

I’m not trying to put bad vibes into the universe towards Shailene Woodley (because you know who puts good vibes into the universe? Probably Shailene Woodley). She seems really earnest and well-intentioned, and people who know her (John Green; George Clooney; etc) all seem to like her a whole lot. She was also Felicity Merriman in an adaptation of the American Girl series, and Marissa Cooper’s little sister in The O.C., so that’s cool.

It’s just that, for those of us who have ever struggled to fit two weeks worth of possessions into a carry-on tote so we don’t have to pay a checked bag fee … this is a lot to take. A lot. I can forgive Shailene for making clay-eating sound like a good idea even though it’s actually a certifiable medical disorder.  I’m not even jealous that she manages to look pretty in that 1997 soccer mom haircut in The Fault In Our Stars. But going on national television, bragging about a magical carry-on bag that could fit all of these possessions, and not even directing us up the woodland path to the kindly mountain witch who peddles them? Not cool.

I hope there’s room for my disappointment in Shailene’s bag, because she carries it with her wherever she goes.

 

Keeping Up With Kanye: Twitter Style

If you’ve been Keeping Up with the Kanye (see what I did there?), you known that he was recently involved in an utterly bizzare Twitter feud with Jimmy Kimmel. Yes, you read that right, late night TV host/comedian Jimmy Kimmel. Basically, Yeezy got mad that Jimmy made a spoof of one of his recent interviews where he goes off about leather jogging pants, among other things, and Jimmy used two kids to repeat verbatim when Kanye told the interviewer.

Ye wasn’t delighted about this for some reason and went on Twitter to go OFF on Jimmy. This is just a snippet:

Kanye graciously agreed to appear on Jimmy’s show and worked it all out, but good LORD the guy can talk. You know how some people type in all caps to express a point? Yeah, Kanye does it IRL. The entire interview was like a stream of consciousness and while he did bring up some valid points, it was still exhausting to watch.

And while this is the most publicized Twitter feud Ye’s had, it’s certainly not the least entertaining of his tweets. Despite taking a long break from Twitter, he still managed to come up with some of the most ridic comments about life, society, fashion and music.  Here are just a few of my faves from the past few years.

I love commercial art!!! I know that sounds like an oxy moron and if I spelled that wrong I just sound like a moron lol!!! —Sept. 23, 2010

You basically can say anything to someone on an email or text as long as you put LOL at the end —Sept. 16, 2010

When he has celebrity problems:

Fur pillows are hard to actually sleep on —Aug. 1, 2010

Man…whatever happened to my antique fish tank? —Sept. 9, 2010

I ordered the salmon medium instead of medium well I didn’t want to ruin the magic —July 29, 2010

Do you know where to find marble conference tables? I’m looking to have a conference…not until I get the table though —Aug. 28, 2010

Is illuminati and devil worshipping like the same thing…do they have a social network that celebs can sign up for? —Oct. 24, 2010

When he just types words:

When he thinks he’s a stand-up comic:

Man…ninjas are kind of cool…I just don’t know any personally —Sept. 23, 2010

Imma make a book of my tweets.. tweetbook —Aug. 10, 2010

Don’t you hate when people clap to loud in the car…it’s like yo this is a closed area.. your clapping is waaay to loud!!! hahahahahaaa —Aug. 15, 2010

I would like to thank Julius Caesar for originating my hairstyle —Jan 21, 2011

When I feel like we could be the same person:

Sometimes I push the door close button on people running towards the elevator. I just need my own elevator sometimes, my 7 floor sanctuary —Aug. 4, 2010

When he talks about his craft:

And when he’s just all around hilarious: