Super Specific Emmy Categories We Wish Were Real

I continue to not understand the concept of time, because apparently not only is it technically fall (the overwhelming abundance of pumpkin spice items everywhere I look has told me that), but it’s time for the Emmy Awards once again.

We of course have favorites going into the ceremony (This Is Us, Handmaid’s Tale, Atlanta, etc.), but what about all the standout performances by actors who have kicked ass this past season and didn’t get the recognition they deserved at the actual Emmys? Well we’re here to give them said recognition, and praise them for the excellent work that is just really super specific to their particular craft.

“Best Drama” is so overrated.

Best Performance by an Actress in a Scene Where She Helps Deliver a Baby She Also Gives Birth To

Tatiana Maslany, Orphan Black

EMMY WINNER TATIANA MASLANY. That’s all. That’s the only thing I’ve called the Orphan Black star ever since she finally last year. If you even only seen one episode of the show, you know it’s totally deserved, but anytime there’s an intense scene between another clone, it still blows my mind. Even til the end. Our beloved Helena finally gave birth to her babies, but because this is OB world, it wasn’t in a hospital, but rather in a dirty basement with limited tools and a crazy person wanting the newborns as a scientific case study. But in the end, it was sestra and sestra, Tat and Tat, facing each other and encouraging the other they have the willpower to deliver these miracle babies. I think the show ended perfectly, but it still won’t make me miss scenes like this on a weekly basis.

Best Rap In Response To Being Unfriended on Facebook

Issa Rae, Insecure

Oh so we blocking? 😅 #insecurehbo

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Have you been saved by Insecure yet? I was recently converted to this religious sect and I’m here to spread the gospel (read the holy book here). The second season of the totally snubbed Emmy show just ended last week, and it just kept getting better and better. On the second to last episode of season 2, Issa finds out her ex unfriended her on Facebook, and she went into one of her classic bathroom mirror rants. Except this one was no holds barred. Freaking amazing.

Outstanding Performance by a Female BFF Who Gives It To Ya Straight

Natasha Rothwell, Insecure

I NEED A FRIEND LIKE KELLI 💀💀💀 #InsecureHBO

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Speaking of Insecure, Issa’s BFFs in the show are all individually fantastic, but I have not laughed out loud more to the lines perfectly executed by Natasha Rothwell, who plays Kelli. She’s sassy, unapologetic, loyal, and keeps her friends in line. What more could you ask for?

Best Devastating Cry After Finding Out Horrible News

Gina Rodriguez, Jane the Virgin

I watched this video clip again on mute and I still started crying. Give Gina Rodriguez an Emmy already. She need something to keep her Golden Globe company.

Outstanding Pop Culture References, Comedy Series

Difficult People

As Gilmore Girls fans, we’re used to mile-a-minute pop culture references. But Difficult People is next level. Within just 10 minutes, you’ll not only be hit by 8 different celeb names, but really super specific references that only true pop culture/entertainment fans will get.

Best Fake TV Show on a Real TV Show

“Defamation”, Dear White People

Guys, we love us some Scandal, but it obviously can get a little ridiculous. And that’s what Dear White People parodied with it’s show within a show, Defamation. Like many fans of Scandal, the students at Winchester University had a weekly viewing party for Defamation, which in its very short clip had a woman having a secret affair with a politician. Sound familiar? It’s incredible.

Very close runner-up (might have been the winner but I had two Insecure winners already): Due North, Insecure. Includes Scandal star Scott Foley, Regina Hall, Christopher from Gilmore Girls, and slavery.

Best Performance By An Actor Who Deserved More Than His Character Got

Nick Jonas, Kingdom

See: My entire post about this bc I’m still annoyed.

Outstanding Performance by an Actor Who Did His Best Work Ever on the Revival Of A Beloved Series

Scott Patterson, Gilmore Girls: A Year in the Life

Unfortunately, Lauren Graham still didn’t get an Emmy nomination/win as Lorelai Gilmore (add that to the list of your Steve Carell/Michael Scotts and Amy Poehler/Leslie Knopes of the world), but I feel like she has a better chance at getting nominated/winning one in the future than Scott Patterson does. Look, I’m a hardcore GG fan, but I understand that one of the biggest things Scott has done since GG ended in 2007 was a Lifetime movie. But he’s the perfect Luke Danes. And never has he been more perfect than in this classic Luke Danes rant in the Fall episode of AYITL, when he finally tells Lorelai what he should’ve told her 10 years ago. That he’s not letting her go and willing to do anything to fix their relationship. It’s the best I’ve ever seen Scott Patterson, and he admittedly agrees that it’s also one of his favorite scenes/best work he’s done in the show.

Best Barb

Shannon Purser, Barb, Stranger Things

Shannon Purser did a perfectly good job in a perfectly fine role. It’s just that there was nothing terribly Emmy-worthy in Barb, no matter WHO played her. This nomination came about not because the role was incredible, but because people just … liked Barb. And they wanted her to have a nice thing. It feels like the time Uncle Jesse’s Forever was voted the prom song in my high school, c. 2001. The point is, we should free up a space in the already tight Best Supporting Actress category and make a special category for the Barbs of the TV world. Next year, whichever minor TV character is the Barb of that year can win, but the category would still be Best Barb.

Best Early Plot Twist

This Is Us

In case you missed it, the pilot of This Is Us centered on four people who share the same birthday: actor Kevin, family/ business man Randall, supporting-character-in-her-own-life Kate and expecting father Jack. During the last moments of the pilot, you come to realize that Jack’s storyline takes place in the late 1970s and that he is the father of Kate, Kevin and Randall – and that Randall was adopted after Kate and Kevin’s triplet died as a newborn. Phew. It was gorgeous and we owe it all to hipsters, whose aesthetic is so ‘working class couple in 1978’ that I never even questioned what year Jack and Rebecca lived in.

Best Late Plot Twist

The Good Place

Like the early-in-the-game plot twist, a later plot twist has its own perils – in this case, it’s that everything that happened before it has to make sense in light of what you’ve just learned. You spend all of The Good Place thinking that Ted Danson’s character did a piss-poor job of designing a corner of heaven, only to learn in the season finale that he did a brilliant job designing his characters’ personal hell. In a moment, it all made sense – how these seemingly cruddy people landed in heaven, how unrewarding the eternal reward was, the constant calamity. We fell in love with Ted Danson during our Cheers watch last year, and that love only deepened when he let out that sinister laugh and his very persona shifted before our eyes.

Best Denouement

Big Little Lies

Do you remember back to elementary or high school when you would diagram a story? Rising Action, Climax, Denouement, Conclusion? In Big Little Lies, you knew it was all leading up to the fundraiser night at the school, when somebody-we-know would get killed by somebody-else-we-know. The climactic scene on the slippery steps was fantastic. But that’s the point where lesser shows would give up. Without saying too much, Big Little Lies resolved itself beautifully, culminating in that heart-twisting scene on the beach when you finally exhale – and you didn’t even realize you had been holding your breath until that moment.

Best Political Commentary By Somebody Who Shouldn’t Have To Be Doing This

Seth Meyers, Late Night With Seth Meyers

Seth Meyers shouldn’t have to do this, but it’s 2018 and here we all are, getting schooled on our crumbling world by gently witty late-night comics.

Best Multi-Dimensional TV Mom (Comedy)

Constance Wu, Jessica, Fresh Off The Boat

Emmy voters love nominating moms, especially in the Best Actress In A Comedy category. They don’t especially love nominating multi-dimensional TV moms, though. Or maybe writers just don’t like writing them? Anyway, as a special incentive to show runners who love to flatline mom characters we’re including this special, moms-only category. This year the witty, salty mom-of-the-90s – who totally has her own interests and also a favorite kid – takes the prize. Constance Wu, we love you.

Best Integrated Musical Performance That’s Not Supposed To Be Impressive

“Everybody Wants To Rule The World,” Mr. Robot

It sounds really specific but it’s honestly not. This is a musical performance that is (1) part of a show and (2) not meant as a spectacle, a la Nashville or Empire. The winner is the one that furthers the action, touches viewers, or gives you deeper insight into the character. This year, it was Angela singing Everybody Wants To Rule The World in that karaoke scene on Mr. Robot. It’s like you can see and hear all of Angela’s conflicts in these few minutes – is she being true to herself, and her principles, and is the payoff even worth it, and does she want power for a purpose, or just to have it? – and it’s a beautifully cut scene to boot.

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Orphan Black: In Memoriam

I will remember you (and you and you and you and you and you).

After five seasons of monitoring clones, finding out there were even more clones, reblogging multiple OTP gifsets on Tumblr, and pretending I understand how science works, we must bid a final farewell to Orphan Black tomorrow. We’ve been fans of this BBC America show since the jump, serving as proud members of the Tatiana Maslany Deserves an Emmy Street Team since 2K13. [BTW, remember when Tat won an Emmy? Because that happened. I’ve refused to call her anything but “Emmy winner Tatiana Maslany” ever since.]

With its demise coming this weekend, I feel like it’s only proper to honor a show that has entertained and informed us over the past five years with one last goodbye to everyone and everything that we’ll miss about this groundbreaking show. Thanks for everything, OB. We’ll never forget you.

*cue Sarah McLachlan*

Rachel’s Eye

There have been a lot of gory goings on in Orphan Black (like the time Helena cut a dude’s tail off), but nothing compares to the unexpected demise of Rachel Duncan’s eyeball. After she destroys Kira’s bone marrow in a fit of rage, Sarah retaliates at her clone but using a contraption to shoot a pencil straight in her eye. It was bloody and gory and almost made me feel sorry for Rachel. The result of the incident left her with brain damage, but still, she was alive. Her hollowed out socket was replaced with a prosthetic eye, that is super high tech and makes me wonder just how much more advanced Canada is than us. However, in one of the final episodes of season five, Rachel finds out Dorian Gray wannabe P.T. Westmoreland has actually been using Rachel as a vessel to spy, since her mechanical eye records audio and video that is streamed directly to his tablet. But Rachel ain’t having none of that anymore so she breaks a martini glass (fitting) and JAMS IT IN HER HEAD to take out the eyeball in hopes of being truly freed from Dyad. RIP HER SECOND EYE.

The Tender Friendship Between Scott and Cosima

Since the pilot, the characters on OB have always had an ongoing issue with trust. Can they trust their monitors? Can they trust their family members? Can the clones even trust each other? In some cases, there was little question of a possible betrayal because of the inherent good in that character. Enter cinnamon roll Scott. He had been Cosima’s nerdy scientist friend for years before we meet them. In fact, he had a crush on Cosima but unfortunately for him, she had a crush on Delphine, so he settled to be her closest scientist confidant instead. Because of their genuine (friendship) love for each other, their trust was implicit, which is why he became the go-to scientist guy who Cosima and the rest of the clones went to for help. Sure, I like Cophine, but there will never be a purer friendship than that of Scott and Cosima in the OB world.

The Tender Friendship Between Donnie and Helena

If there’s any clone that has embodied the “look at where you are, look at where you started” mantra, it’s Helena. She was straight up a frightening, non-nonsense murderer, and over the course of five seasons, she’s become one of the most beloved clones who you feel a lot of empathy for. Take Donnie, for example, who was super against this hitwoman moving into his home with Alison. But he eventually gave in and now they’re practically best pals. He’s living a sister sestra wives situation, and I think Helena is all the more better for it. They do say being a mother changes you. Also, this is a good time to share my theory that Donnie is the unsung hero of Orphan Black. Discuss.

Alison’s Community Theater Group

After letting her friend die via scarf in the garbage disposal, Alison needed a distraction from the death, as well as all the clone drama, so naturally, she pursued her passion for the arts. And that came in the form of her joining her local community theater group. Not all her co-stars were pleasant to deal with, but they sure embodied what it’s like to be part of that unique group of artists. Not to mention, the shows they put up were fabulously horrible, including an original piece called Blood Ties – a musical which is surprisingly real. No, seriously.

Helena’s Appetite

Helena, as I previously mentioned, has gone through quite the transformation over the years, but one characteristic that has not changed one bit is her love for food. And by love I mean… passionate obsession. Particularly in the way she shoves it into her mouth, ofter with her hands, I mean, it’s like watching a child consume their favorite food like they’ll never eat again. It’s the little quirks like this that make Helena lovable, and make you forget she’s a trained assassin.

Sarah’s Long Lost Loves

Raise your hand if you’re still not over the death of Paul. Me. I’m not. Sure, he started off as Beth’s monitor, and sure he made a few poor choices with who he trusted, but I never doubted that he had true feels for Sarah. I mean, he also said, “It was never Beth I loved” as he helped Sarah to safety right before he died, so it’s canon. Plus, Dylan Bruce is hot. And together with Tat, they were just hot together. But just when you thought that she would never find love again, we find out who the biological father of Kira is, a fellow by the name of Cal, played by another extremely attractive human, Michiel Huisman. In another time and place, I think Cal and Sarah could’ve been a happy family somewhere in Iceland, but alas, this is Orphan Black, and he had to head back to Game of Thrones, never to be seen in OB World again.

Unrequited Love Between Art and Sarah

That being said, Sarah still has one possible gentleman caller in Art, Beth’s former police partner. Sure, once Art discovered Sarah was just pretending to be Beth, he did not trust this doppelganger stranger one bit. But he eventually turns the tide and becomes one of Sarah’s closest allies and made a conscious decision to help bring down the people that ruined both Beth and Sarah’s lives with a nasty science experiment. But of course, his desire was fueled by the fact that he loved Beth (and even slept with her – sorry Paul), and it’s evident that he feels some sort of connection with her sister Sarah too. Sarah’s also put her trust in Art, even going so far as to let Kira stay with his young daughter in a safe place. She doesn’t let entrust anyone with her beloved kid. Listen, I’m all for women being independent and not needing no man to define her, but I’m just saying, Sarah and Art and their two kids could walk off into the sunset together and try to live as normal a life as possible in the series finale.

Krystal’s YouTube Channel

Krystal EASILY became one of my favorite clones from the moment she appeared in season three, with her blondeness that actually kind of hid the fact that she’s a smart businesswoman. What, like it’s hard? This season, we find out Krystal has become a YouTube star in her downtime, and honestly, I could watch this all day if it were real. Krystal spin-off show, please? Maybe come back in 5 years and instead of a straight OB reboot, just a webseries centering on Krystal.

Multiple Clone Parties

It’s the scene that will forever define the show as a cut above the rest – not only technically, but in its spotlight on Tat. She embodies each of the four main clones just by their dance moves, and it’s stunning to watch. The OB team managed to impress with another multiple clone scene through a family dinner, but this time, with more series regulars. The visual effects on this show have never been hokey or green screeney (technical term), which is part of the reason why it’s so believable that we’re watching multiple actresses play the clones and not just one. It’s a feat that’ll be hard to replicate by any show moving forward.

Still Thinking Tatiana Hasn’t Worked With Certain Actors

To that end, I can’t tell you how many times I’ve seen interviews with Tatiana and an actor like Kristian Bruun (Donnie), and think to myself, “Oh that’s cool they get to hang out, because they probably don’t see each other much on set since all his scenes are with Alison.” YOU DUMMY. TAT PLAYS ALISON. I think my default Tat character is Sarah, which obviously makes sense because the writers set it up that way in which she’s the protagonist. But it’s taken my approx 4.5 seasons to be fully aware that Tat is all the clones. She has worked with every single character on the show. EMMY WINNER TATIANA MASLANY, Y’ALL.

S

CHICKENS!!!!!!!!!!!

#CloneClub Fan Art

Like with any proper fandom that’s popular on the internet, OB fans aka the #CloneClub, are talented motherfuckers who create some of the best fan art I’ve seen for ANY show/movie, etc. A lot of it is surprisingly emotional (and a lot of it is also crafted by Cophine shippers), but that makes sense given the dynamic we see between each of the clones is emotional in and of itself. These women were created to be science experiments, and not regarded as humans who will find each other and form a bond like no one else can.  I’m sure the fan art will keep going long after we say goodbye to the sestras, but there’s one more connection between the show and the fans that will live on forever.

#SmartGirlsAsk at the Emmy Awards

There’s a scene in Gilmore Girls when Lorelai makes fun of Rory (and Chris’) obsession with their new Sidekicks. REMEMBER SIDEKICKS??? Anyways, her line has always stuck out to me as quoteworthy and comical, mainly because of the nonsense questions she’s asking and at the even faster rate than normal she’s asking them in.

Now I’ve never been on a red carpet and been bombarded with a million questions by pushy reporters and photographers, but I imagine this is what it would be like, but like 50 Lorelais all at once.

About a year or so ago, there was a movement called #AskHerMore, which encouraged reporters to inquire about more than just “who are you wearing” to women on the red carpet. About a year ago, Amy Poehler’s Smart Girls at the Party started their own version using the hashtag #SmartGirlsAsk. They asked followers and celebs alike to send in their questions to stars at the Emmys, and since it went swimmingly before, they did it again this past Sunday. Here are some of the best questions and the best answers from the best people in the biz.

Obvs we have to start with our boo. Remember when Amy Poehler used to provide us with infinite wisdom via her Ask Amy video blogs? I miss those. This will do.

I admit I had to look up with this hilarious gal is, and research tells me she’s on Transparent, a show I have yet to watch. But I am living for her honesty.

If you’re wondering who the two girls are on either side of Ellie, they’re Cydnee and Gretchen all glammed up. They sure do look different out of their bunker gear.

Same, Aziz. Same. *also featuring special cameos by two girls I went to college with*

Happiness is being able to live in a world with KBell.

I also like to listen to Tony Goldwyn’s smooth, silky, sexy voice if I’m feeling stressed.

GIMME, GIMME MO(O)RE, GIMME MO(O)RE, GIMME (MANDY) MO(O)RE!

Pls refer to our Emmys post for why I am obsessed with Yara Shahidi.

Truly unbreakable.

This video was taken B.E. = Before Emmy. EMMY WINNER TATIANA MASLANY.

This kid.

Sometimes I forget how much I liked Downton Abbey.

Things We Need to Revisit From the 2016 Emmy Awards

The 68th Annual Primetime Emmy Awards were last night and per usual, there were a lot of highlights and lowlights of the ceremony. But unexpectedly, a lot of our favorites took home the gold, and that’s why they helped make the Emmys one to remember. Here are some moments that we need to revisit today, and many days after today.

Stranger Things Kids Continue To Be Totally Rad

T: Handing out PB&J sandwiches on bicycles was an OK touch, but letting Gaten, Millie and Caleb take the stage to show their true talents of singing and dancing is the real win.

M: These kids are so pure and delightful I almost want to send them to 1983 to grow up there.

Hillary Clinton Wins An Emmy

T: Cue the first tears of the night. I legitimately rewound this reaction shot three times in a row right after it happened, and continue to be mesmerized by this GIF. Her speech was a tear jerker, but there was a cynical part of me that had me thinking… Kate truly deserved this for her performances this year, right? Listen, I love Kate and think she does great work on SNL, but part of me feels like Emmy voters partially gave the win to her because of Ghostbusters? Call it the Melissa McCarthy Effect. Remember when she won an Emmy the year she was in Bridesmaids? Yeah. But again, Kate is super talented and deserves all the praise she can get.

M: Kate is one of those SNL cast members who I noticed from her very first weeks and predicted that she’d be one of the great ones. She’s just that obviously good.

President of Tears

T: Did anybody else notice JLD didn’t seem herself when she got up to accept her award? She was shaky and looked like she wasn’t even planning a bit  – then it all made sense when she talked about her dad. Out of her six acting Emmy wins, I feel like this might be her most memorable.

M: After her speech, I remembered how sad she looked at the end of Kate’s speech and it was right when Kate had mentioned her dad. I know we say this a lot, but we just love JLD.

Score one for Long Duck Dong

T: In all seriousness, I am so so glad Aziz and Master of None co-creator/writer Alan Yang won for Best Writing. I wrote about the episode they won for, Parents, last year, and I’m just glad Emmy voters and viewers alike paid enough attention to a show which features so much diversity and the untold stories of first generation kids. My only gripe is that Aziz didn’t get to give his speech at all.

You Turkeys

T: Remember how our beloved Amy finally won her very first Emmy last week? Well she did, and she’s sharing it with her color-coordinating comedy wife Tina, and we were #blessed with their presence last night. Ever more #blessed that Amy called them out for nominating her 18 times without ever giving her a legit trophy.

M: They coordinated their dresses, right? I just think it’s really cute if they coordinated their dresses.

Sarah Paulson + Holland Taylor 4Ever

T: There was a time when these two didn’t publicly acknowledge each other as their significant others, and here we are, living in a world where all of the Internet can swoon in jealousy over their love. Yes, Sarah was for sure the right person to win an Emmy, but another thing I know for sure – I have a new ship.

M: I think we’ve had a WCW post about Sarah Paulson in our drafts for like a year and I’m not even sure which one of us did it.  I love that after years of working steadily, Sarah’s had this massive boost in her career lately.

Fred Armisen? More Like FredArminstein

T: Fred showed up in a hearse. And with bolts in his neck. Never change, man.

M: The “Armenstein” joke was cute, Traci.

Leslie Jones Slays All Day

T: You gotta give it up for Leslie Jones who continues to get back up every time assholes attempt to knock her down. And when she does get back up, she laughs it off and makes all of us laugh with her.

Bill Cosby Isn’t Here

M: Jimmy announced that Bill Cosby was coming on stage and Tina Fey was all of us:

So was Ellie Kemper:

Don’t worry, Bill Cosby wasn’t there.

How Do You Like Them Apples?

T: Matt Damon continues to ruin Jimmy Kimmel’s life. As soon as he came out eating that apple, I KNEW he was going to make a Good Will Hunting Reference.

Oh, We’re ALL Seeing This, Rami

T: I don’t watch Mr. Robot, but I did watch Rami in the one episode of Gilmore Girls, and he is great. I refer to Molly for this one.

M: Thanks, Traci. Okay here we go:

Mr. Robot is a show you should be watching if you aren’t already (I’m going to specifically recommend it to fans of Orphan Black). There’s this incredible ensemble cast but the whole thing rests on how amazing Rami Malek is. His character has a tenuous grip on reality, but he’s also broken and kind and incredibly intelligent – miles away from the “complex lonely guy” archetype. IRL, Rami just seems like a real gem of a human in addition to being good-looking and all that. His cousin was his Emmys date, he really loves his mom, and he interrupted an actor roundtable because everyone kept using male pronouns when discussing directors. He deserved to win and I’m so happy for him. PS he has a twin brother. Back to you, Traci.

Give TatMas 12 Emmys For Each Clone Pls

T: I can barely look at any videos or pix or GIFs or tweets from her co-stars because I start to tear up. I am so proud of this talented angel of a human in a way I would be proud if one of my nearest and dearest won an award.

M: I was so used to Tatiana not even getting nominated that I didn’t think she would win (SHOULD win, yes). I almost feel like she went so long without a nomination/win because she’s so amazing: as though voters who don’t watch the show couldn’t really understand that she was playing all of these characters, and none of them a caricature.

It was such a blur after she won that I had to rewatch her speech Monday morning because I forgot what she even said.

Also, we love Canadians.

Also also, she and her boyfriend are very cute:

 

A few Best Dressed faves:

Kerry Washington in Brandon Maxwell
ARE YOU KIDDING ME??? THIS HOT MAMA. THE DRESS, THE HAIR, THE BUMP?! I wish to look like her any day of the week.

ARE YOU KIDDING ME??? THIS HOT MAMA. THE DRESS, THE HAIR, THE BUMP?! I wish to look like her any day of the week.

Kristen Bell in Zuhair Murad
It's like if Princess Anna was a modern day TV star and nominated for Best Actress in a Limited Series.

It’s like if Princess Anna was a modern day TV star and nominated for Best Actress in a Limited Series.

Yara Shahidi in Clara Rotescu

I don’t watch black-ish, but I am kind of obsessed with Yara? She seems like such a poised, smart, talented young lady who is ready to become a role model to girls (and women) of all backgrounds. This dress is perfect for a 16-year-old who’s still young and playful but also an actress on the verge of being a grown-up. Also, she’s the type of stunning that makes you feel like a creep because you’ve been stalking her on Insta for too long what

Priyanka Chopra in Jason Wu
I mean, come on.  I love how this plays off of the diaphanous, one-shoulder trend that's been going on for a few awards seasons but puts it in vibrant color.

I mean, come on. I love how this plays off of the diaphanous, one-shoulder trend that’s been going on for a few awards seasons but puts it in vibrant color.

Rami Malek in Dior
White dinner jackets have made a comeback in the past few years and with the new slimmer tailoring, they're not looking like your dad's wedding outfit from 1975. IMO, black pants are crucial to keep it from looking like a first communion suit.

White dinner jackets have made a comeback in the past few years and with the new slimmer tailoring, they’re not looking like your dad’s wedding outfit from 1975. IMO, black pants are crucial to keep it from looking like a first communion suit.

Sarah Paulson in Prada
We all have those celebs who are hit-or-miss for us on the red carpet (Kerry, Kirsten, I'm looking at you). Sarah Paulson is one of mine, but when she looks incredible she looks really incredible. I love a nice vibrant green and Sarah, Tina and Amy were looking like the queens of the Emerald City last night. There are so few times you can wear a gown embroidered in crystals and stones, you know?

We all have those celebs who are hit-or-miss for us on the red carpet (Kerry, Kirsten, I’m looking at you). Sarah Paulson is one of mine, but when she looks incredible she looks really incredible. I love a nice vibrant green and Sarah, Tina and Amy were looking like the queens of the Emerald City last night. There are so few times you can wear a gown embroidered in crystals and stones, you know?

 

Emmy Awards 2015 – Best and Worst Dressed

It’s been a while, but we’re back in awards show mode, and what better way to kick it off than with the ceremony where all our favorite TV stars unite! Last night, we saw some gowns to die for and gowns that should maybe just… die. Since we’re considered fashion experts (amateurs) (no one’s every called us that), we’re doing something that no one else is going today and picking our best and worst dressed celebrities from last night. Did your faves make the cut? Pun intended.

Best Dressed

Traci’s Picks
Elisabeth Moss in Oscar de la Renta

This dress is obviously super simple, but I love that it’s tailor ed to her body, which gives it that extra detail. Also, with a bright color like this (which I love), it doesn’t need much more accessory-wise. Elisabeth was styled perfectly with the hair, makeup, simple studs, and minimal jewels.

Zoe Kazan in Miu Miu

Ok, so this isn’t necessarily an “Emmy Dress”, per se, but I love it. It’s flowy and perfect for the scorching LA heat, and red, from head to toe, looks great on her.

Aubrey Plaza in Alexander Vauthier

It was kind of hard to tell in most pictures, but Aubrey’s dress is actually accented with burgundy jewels, which is why I love it. The low cut neckline and high cut slit show just enough skin. And again, she’s styled perfectly since the dress is a statement in itself, with minimal jewels and a gorge bob haircut. She’s even smiling!

Ellie Kemper in Naeem Kahn

I don’t know if anyone else has noticed, but Ellie Kemper is a low key red carpet goddess. She rarely fails when it comes to picking gowns for these shows, and she didn’t fail last night. The colors in the dress are mesmerizing, and the asymmetrical lines give it just enough edge. Christina Hendricks also donned a similar Naeem Kahn dress, but Ellie edged her out just a bit.

Emma Roberts in Jenny Packham

Ok, so Emma’s face isn’t great here. However, she went for an old Hollywood look, and just nailed it. Yet again, it’s hard to tell in this photo, but the dress is more of a shimmery gold, which is on point for the occasion. The skirt flowed behind her when she walked, and was the perfect pairing with her golden curls.

Honorable Mentions: Nancy O’Dell in her own co-design with Evine Live, Allison Janney in Labourjoisie, Tituss Burgess in Bonobos, Cat Deeley (and fetus) in Monique Lhuillier
Molly’s Picks
Amy Poehler In Michael Kors

First of all, love this golden brown hair color on her – more natural and complimentary to her skin tone than platinum blonde or gingery red.  Amy almost always kills it on the red carpet, and I’m always a fan of formalwear that incorporates a non-tacky midriff. The bangles are fun and youthful, perfect for someone who doesn’t take this awards show thing TOO too seriously.

Tatiana Maslany In Bouchra Jarrar


It took the Emmys a VERY long time to notice Tatiana Maslany. Orphan Black may be a huge cult hit but a lot of people don’t know about it, or the actress behind the clones. I’m sure Tatiana was well aware that last night was her shot to make an impression, and this suit did just that. The looser fit was a bit of a gamble – usually on the rare occasion that a woman wears a suit on the red carpet, the pants are impeccably tailored and crisp. I’d call this one a risk that paid off.

Jon Hamm

Not only am I breaking my “suits and tuxes are too boring to be Best Dressed” rule, I’m breaking it twice. It’s just that Jon Hamm wears formal attire so well. Yes, tuxes and suits are not half as fussy or uncomfy as even the most comfortable gown, but a lot of men still manage to look sort of stiff and unnatural in them. Jon, however, looks like he has been wearing a tuxedo on the daily since he was a toddler. I’m also loving these throwback narrow lapels we’ve been seeing for the past several years – so much better than those schlubby, boxy 90s tuxedos. The tailoring is perfect here.

Kerry Washington In Marc Jacobs

Kerry Washington is one of those people who is SO gorgeous and wears clothes SO well that she often takes red carpet risks … which sometimes can fall flat or overpower her. So I was delighted to see this metallic chain mail piece that is a tad offbeat but, with the relatively simple and not too clingy cut, isn’t too over the top either. That said, the dress and shoes both must be uncomfy as hell and I can’t even imagine.

Gina Rodriguez in Lorena Sarbu


She looks like an angel. More runway-type, concept-y gowns don’t always work on the Red Carpet (see: Kerry Washington) but Gina looks like a dream and I swear we’re going to start watching Jane The Virgin. It can be very hard to wear white without looking like a bride or a girl at a really nice quince, and the mixed textures are what keeps it out of that arena. Love the pop of color with the clutch.

Honorable Mention: Teyonah Parris, wearing a great polka dot gown that would be very hard to pull off for anyone less adorable than Teyonah Parris.

Worst Dressed

Traci’s Picks
Heidi Klum in Versace

It’s always disappointing and a lil second hand embarrassment when a supermodel/fashion icon fails on the red carpet. It’s like she picked a 10th place finisher’s design from Project Runway.

Sophie Turner in Galvan

Guys, I know the 90s are back and all, but I’m still not on board with velour.

Jaimie Alexander in Armani Prive

I… just don’t get it.

Joanna Newsom in Delpozo

I really, really, really think these two are super adorable to the point I want to vom, but honey sweetie. The front of this dress. Joanna’s style is usually left of center, but I can’t get on board with this. Love you two, though.

Edie Falco in Prada

90% of the time, pleats are no good. This gown is included in that percentage. Also, the rando flower embroideries are confusing, and the fit just doesn’t show off Edie’s form. She can do much better, as evidenced from Emmys past.

Kathryn Hahn in Vivienne Westwood

I think Kathryn Hahn is one of the most underrated and underappreciated actresses in the biz. That being said, what is even happening here.

Molly’s Picks:
Tracee Ellis Ross in Zac Posen

Tracee has great hair (I mean, she is destined for great hair), and her face and skin are wonderful too. The general silhouette of the dress is fine, although I am never into that kind of bodice and I don’t like the cutouts on the skirt. So I think what I don’t like is the combination of that sweetly pink color with the glossy fabric – all I can think is Galinda from Wicked.

Taryn Manning in Rubin Singer

Maybe this isn’t a technically bad dress, I’m just over the Angelina Jolie/ Morticia Addams/ Theda Bara thing. It’s also hard to pull off unless impeccably styled, and her hair looks like a Delia*s-era Sun In and Wet Look combo.

Alan Cumming in Vivienne Westwood

This is so silly that I actually find it delightful. He looks like an old-time jolly chimney sweep who’s gettin’ married in the morning. The tie, the chain, the umbrella, the pocket square, the giant pants — I find it so joyful and fun that I almost want to put it on best dressed, I just know that it isn’t technically “good.”

Julianne Hough In Marchesa

It almost doesn’t seem fair judging reality tv people on the red carpet, because it seems like they’re in a whole different universe. It is something I would probably LOVE on the runway, or in Swan Lake, I just don’t like if for the red carpet.

Dascha Polanco in Leanne Marshall


If you were one of the good kids in school, do you remember how you would get in trouble if you made the slightest peep in class, because the teachers had grown to expect more of you? That’s how I feel about this dress. On anyone else I would probably just think “Okay, not my favorite” and move on, but I’ve come to love Dascha’s style so much that I’m surprised I don’t like this one. I do love the sunny yellow on her, I think I just hate this new trend of the super short opaque skirt with a sheer gown over it. I think they look silly now, but I think everyone will think they look silly when they look back in a few years.

Dishonorable mention: January Jones in Ulyana Sergeenco (only because I’m so used to LOVING whatever she wears).

Live Blog: Emmy Awards 2015

It’s hard to believe but it’s Super Bowl weekend! And by Super Bowl, we mean Emmy Awards, because, hello, welcome to our blog. Like we do every year, we’ll be liveblogging the ceremony on Sunday starting around 8pm EST/5pm PST, so come back and join us!

Friendly reminder that we’re still too cheap to update and get legit liveblogging technology, so please refresh this page every 5 to 10 minutes for our up-to-the-minute updates! Also, for up-to-the-second updates, join us over on Twitter!

Andy-Samberg

serious andy samberg welcomes you to the emmys.

7:15 M: Guys, I’m a bit worried. I tuned into FOX to see if there’s a preshow on (there isn’t) but (A) it’s still football, and (B) the announcer is speaking Spanish.

I should add that I majored in Spanish in college and spent like 5 months in Spain, but I am not interested in translating an entire awards show.

[Note: I don’t have cable and have noticed that my over-the-air FOX affiliate does some weird stuff, like narrating the action for blind people  – obviously not weird if you’re blind, but.]
On to the much-lauded Yahoo live stream. Right now: an overhead shot of a tight crowd of warm-looking rich people.

Oh cool. A clip from Louie. Really outdoing yourself, Yahoo.

7: 20 I almost always love everything that Dascha Polanco is. Which makes me think that me not liking her gown is a “it’s not you, it’s me thing.” To be fair, I’ve been hating on the short opaque skirt under a sheer long skirt trend.

7:25 Sarah Paulson (in custom Prabal Gurung) is asked who she wants to see tonight. Answers “Emma Thompson” without pause. You and me both.

M: Let’s talk about Tatiana Maslany. No, let’s LOOK at Tatiana Maslany. Jesus.

7: 39 Emmy Guy: I know Amy Poehler started this Smart Girls thing about not asking women so many fashion questions –

Naomi Watt: SO DON’T!

7:42 Yahoo wraps up Game of Thrones in 2 minutes and it basically sums up everything I said in What I Think Happens In Game Of Thrones (I Don’t Watch It). Also this GoT segment really doesn’t seem like a good use of time.

7:56 Good Lord, Poehler.

Same, Mindy. Same.

8:00 M: Well, my TV is in English now. That’s nice. Andy Samberg does a number emerging from a TV viewing bunker. Or as I call it, my house.

T: Legit just LOLed at the ‘Have you seen Castle?’ joke. You know who watches Castle? my aunts who don’t have a DVR and have to be home to watch Castle REPEATS.

M: Man. Aunts love appointment television, don’t they?

Did Andy Samberg end his number with “and I’m white?” Not a rhetorical Q, my tv pixelated right at that second.

T: I thought he said, “And I’m right?” We could easily both be completely wrong. We’re old now.

M: I thought he was making a commentary on why he was chosen as host and I was like “brazen, but … true.” Yours makes more sense.

T: “Justin Timberlake is not coming.” – Andy answering the question we’ve all been thinking.

M: I don’t watch GoT, but of COURSE there’s a mean nun.

T: I was just about to say, ‘I don’t watch GoT’ but Jane Lynch looks exactly like that mean nun. We’re not fans of dragons and incest and rape (?), okay.

M: I feel like GoT offers lots of nice braided hairdos, but so does Pinterest. [We’ll try it. Someday.]

M: Oh, Tina Fey looks gorgeous!

T: ::Emoji with heart eyes:: That quadrant of seating also includes Poehler and Jimmy Fallon. I want to go to there.

M: Also looking great: Amy Poehler. Now I just need Andy to make a lame joke about Canada so we can get a reaction shot of Tatiana Maslany, because she looks extra :heart eyes emoji: :praise hands emoji:

T: “If I wanted to see an intolerant woman dance I would’ve gone to one of Kim Davis’ four weddings.” I legit said, ‘OOOHHHHH SNAP” out loud. No one is with me.

M: Jon Hamm in a suit. You know?

T: “Dick Whitman Horny Hobo” Who wouldn’t watch this prequel, tho???

M: I straight up chuckled out loud when Andy mentioned the actor starring in Houdini then they focused on an empty seat. Dad jokes and things they would have laughed at in the 1920s really :get: me.

T: I cannot stop laughing at this Houdini joke, either!

M: Uzo Aduba: the new Ed Asner.

Allison Janney: The new Ed Asner and the old Uzo Aduba.

T: POEHLER & SCHUMER BUDDY COMEDY IMMEDIATELY PLS & THANK YOU

M: Sorry. I was just staring at my TV grinning like an idiot.

Outstanding Supporting Actress in a Comedy Series

Niecy Nash, Getting On

Julie Bowen, Modern Family

Allison Janney, Mom

Kate McKinnon, Saturday Night Live

Mayim Bialik, The Big Bang Theory

Gaby Hoffman, Transparent

Jane Krakowski, Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt

Anna Chlumsky, Veep

Molly’s Pick: Jane Krakowski, Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt

Also love Kate McKinnon, but SNL performers usually don’t win. Love Anna Chlumsky too. And Gaby Hoffman is amazing in Transparent. I like Modern Family but I’m sick of it winning, and I don’t like Big Bang and I’m sick of it winning.

Traci’s Pick: Anna Chlumsky, Veep

Wait, why are there so many nominees in this? anyways, I pick Anna Chlumsky because she plays the most sane insane person in the White House perfectly, and it’s about time she gets recognized for it.

Winner: Allison Janney

M: Is there a reason she’s singing her speech, though?

T: I want to say yes, but I definitely missed the explanation.

8:22 M: I want to be nice about Tracee Ellis Ross’s dress.

Louis C.K.: Every time you have an idea, you feel sure that that was the last one.

He may have been joking but that is 100% true for me.

Outstanding Writing for a Comedy Series

David Crane and Jeffrey Klarik, Episodes, “Episode 409”

Will Forte, The Last Man on Earth, “Alive in Tucson”

Alec Berg, Silicon Valley, “Two Days of the Condor”

Jill Soloway, Transparent, “Pilot”

Armando Iannucci, Simon Blackwell and Tony Roche, Veep, “Election Night”

Molly’s Pick: Jill Soloway, Transparent, “Pilot”

I could see Transparent picking up a few awards – I watched it because I finally got Amazon Prime this year, and it’s great. Only caveat: not really a COMEDY comedy. The only other show I watch on the list is Veep. Not sure what Episodes is.

Traci’s Pick: Jill Soloway, Transparent, “Pilot”

I haven’t seen Transparent, but I’m going to pick it anyways. They’re going to have a good night.

Winner: Armando Iannucci, Simon Blackwell and Tony Roche, Veep, “Election Night”

T: I am glad they won, though, FTR.

M: Same.

Ricky Gervais doesn’t really walk so much as saunter.Photo Sep 20, 5 27 02 PM

T: He does this bit where he pretends to win an Emmy, and tells viewers to “Tweet that, and Bob’s Your Uncle” – barely any laughs for that joke, because this is America, and most people don’t get that that phrase means like, ‘And you’re all set’.

Outstanding Supporting Actor in a Comedy

Andre Braugher, Brooklyn Nine-Nine

Adam Driver, Girls

Keegan-Michael Key, Key & Peele

Ty Burrell, Modern Family

Titus Burgess, Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt

Tony Hale, Veep

Molly’s Pick: Andre Braugher, Brooklyn Nine-Nine

Would love to see a Titus Burgess win, but not holding my breath.

Traci’s Pick: Andre Braugher, Brooklyn Nine-Nine

I just rewatched the season two finale, and he plays that end scene so freaking well. If that’s one of the episodes they submitted, the Captain might have a shot at winning gold.

Winner: Tony Hale, Veep

M: Liking this. Hale says “I just had a fear my zipper’s down” and I immediately flashed back to every play I was ever in when I’d check my zipper like 8 times waiting in the wings.

8: 34 M: I never see Gina Rodriguez without thinking “man, I should really be watching Jane The Virgin.”

T: Same. We need to get on it.

T: Two things: Bradley Whitford’s hat. Also, CJ & Josh Lyman are in the same room right now.

uh is bradley taking off allison’s dress here

M: Jill Soloway wins for comedy directing, beginning our predicted run of awards for Transparent. Because I have trouble with names that sound alike: I always at first think she is Jill Sobule, of I Kissed A Girl “fame” (not the Katy Perry version).

T: Unrelatedly, I forgot to mention how OUTSTANDING Andy’s monologue was. Like, perfection.

M: So far, in terms of hosting, winners, fashion, speeches: no complaints. I don’t know if I’ve ever made it 40 minutes and had that still be the case.

T: Forte’s beard is OUT OF CONTROL. (BONUS JORMA <3)

Outstanding Lead Actor in a Comedy Series

Anthony Anderson, Black-ish

Matt LeBlanc, Episodes

Don Cheadle, House of Lies

Louis C.K., Louie

William H. Macy, Shameless

Will Forte, The Last Man on Earth

Jeffrey Tambor, Transparent

Molly’s Pick: Jeffrey Tambor, Transparent

Should win, anyway.

Traci’s Pick: Jeffrey Tambor, Transparent

Like I said, they’re going to have a good night, and it’s thanks to this guy.

Winner: Jeffrey Tambor, Transparent

M: I wouldn’t tell you to get an Amazon Prime membership BECAUSE of Transparent, but if you were thinking of doing it anyway it’s a good perk.

M: When I see Matt LeBlanc and Matthew Perry, it’s like when you see one of your old teachers and are shocked that THEY got older, too.

T: I thought they were stuck in the series finale forever, TBH.

8: 50 T: Um that Apple Music commercial with Taraji, Kerry and Mary J was FIRE. How do I get invited to that party? ALSO, AVA DUVERNAY DIRECTED IT? TALK ABOUT #SQUADGOALS.

M: I was posting in our live blog then my head shot up when I heard Kerry’s voice.

T: Seth and Andy, BFFs together again, and paying homage to their leader, Lorne Michaels.

Photo Sep 20, 5 52 01 PM

M: Are they doing lead actress in a comedy next? Because I am not mentally or emotionally ready.

T: Ugh I hope not. I’m never ready. Amy’s been nominated 16 times? I cannot. WAIT IF AMY WINS AND SETH GIVES IT TO HER I WILL CRY.

M: POEHLER. Does a bit in a hoodie and shades.

pls note jimbo in the back

Outstanding Lead Actress in a Comedy Series

Lily Tomlin, Grace and Frankie

Amy Schumer, Inside Amy Schumer

Edie Falco, Nurse Jackie

Amy Poehler, Parks and Recreation

Lisa Kudrow, The Comeback

Julia Louis-Dreyfus, Veep

Molly’s Pick: Amy Poehler, Parks and Recreation

PLEASE?

Traci’s Pick: Amy Meredith Poehler, Parks and Recreation

IF YOU BUILD IT THEY WILL COME. (AM I USING THAT SPORTS MOVIE REF RIGHT?)

Winner: Julia Louis-Dreyfus

M: Every time JLD has won, it’s been totally deserved and I’ve been very pleased. Yet, a bunch of the times I’ve also been sort of pulling for Amy so not been as happy as I’d expect? Love her, though.

T: I am literally shaking because I felt like Poehler had a chance… I mean, I get a grip, maybe? Congrats to JLD tho, she’s great.

M: If I were Poehler I’d be wearing those sunglasses not as comedy sunglasses, but because of tears. I mean I’m not her and I almost need them. [Aside nobody cares about: I always pause for a sec when JLD thanks her kids because they have the same names as 2 of my nephews who are brothers.]

Outstanding Reality Show Competition

The Amazing Race

Dancing with the Stars

Project Runway

So You Think You Can Dance

Top Chef

The Voice

Molly’s Pick: The Amazing Race

I don’t know, I feel like they win a lot.

Traci Pick: Top Chef

In my heart of hearts, SYTYCD will always win, but I’m going to say Top Chef. Mei Lin FTW!

Winner: The Voice

M: Can they do reality tv on a different night or something? Or like on TBS?

T: “Sorry The Amazing Race, it’s our year this year”. Mark Burnett, calm down. Didn’t you guys win last year too?

M: Also this is not a real award category. It reminds me of a weird dream I had once when I somehow was on America’s Next Top Model and I made it like 4 weeks in because everyone felt too bad to kick me out even though I clearly didn’t deserve to be there.

9: 03 M: I love James Corden But when they play the Ghostbusters music I was expecting the Ghostbusters ladies. He is so huggable though.

T: I was just about to say I love James Corden! If you haven’t seen his Carpool Karaoke with Stevie Wonder yet, you should. And if you don’t cry like I did multiple times, then… well, you have your motions under control.

T: I’m also giving the accountants from Ernst & Young a standing ovation, but that’s mainly because I need to get more steps in for my Fitbit.

M: I’m like 800 steps under. Better get moving.

T: IDEC, I still think Terrence Howard is the creepiest. Remember when he was being really weird while presenting at the Oscars?

M: Oooh. Yeah. I had forgotten.

T: Oh, well Jane Anderson is a spritely little woman, isn’t she?

M: She reminds me so much of every enthusiastic writing professor in college.

T: “Oh my God. Goodbye!” is the new “OK I gotta go. Bye.” from Merritt Wever in 2013.

Outstanding Supporting Actress in a Limited Series or Movie

Regina King, American Crime

Sarah Paulson, American Horror Story: Freak Show

Angela Bassett, American Horror Story: Freak Show

Kathy Bates, American Horror Story: Freak Show

Mo’Nique, Bessie

Zoe Kazan, Olive Kitteridge

Molly’s Pick: Zoe Kazan, Olive Kitteridge

Olive Kitteridge was pretty buzz-y which makes me wish I had picked up the book for the 2 years it was at the front of the book section in Target.

Traci’s Pick: Mo’Nique, Bessie

I’m assuming she did great in this.

Winner: Regina King, American Crime

T: NO JOKE, I WAS GOING TO PUT REGINA KING! I’ve never seen American Crime. Also, I want Taraji in my squad cheering me on all the time.

M: Moment of silence out of respect for Regina King’s arms/ personal trainer.

T: Andy’s new dark teal suit = Fresh To Death.

Photo Sep 20, 6 13 39 PM

M: “I haven’t seen Olive Kitteridge, I’ve seen Half of Kitteridge.” – if you don’t know who your dad is, it might be Andy Samberg, because that man is flush with dad jokes.

M: Man. Olive Kitteridge. I should watch it.

Wait… they just said “4 hour movie.” Eh. Maybe no.

M: They’re doing an In Memorium for departed SHOWS now? No wonder these things always run 20 minutes over.

9: 24

Outstanding Supporting Actor in a Limited Series or Movie

Richard Cabral, American Crime

Denis O’Hare, American Horror Story: Freak Show

Finn Wittrock, American Horror Story: Freak Show

Michael Kenneth Williams, Bessie

Bill Murray, Olive Kitteridge

Damian Lewis, Wolf Hall

Molly’s Pick: Bill Murray, Olive Kitteridge

I don’t know, just going to keep going with Olive Kitteridge.

Traci’s Pick: Bill Murray, Olive Kitteridge

Olive Kitteridge got a lot of traction with the critics this year, especially for its stars Frances and Bill. Also Bill Murray’s never won an Emmy, so why not?

Winner: Bill Murray, Olive Kitteridge

M: THAT WAS A WHOLE SEGMENT. Did a switchboard operator have a stroke?

T: Insert “DAMNIT, JERRY” here.

M: HA nevermind. The fake cut really got me.

They’re doing a Mad Men finale pastiche.

M: Kerry Washington – so pretty, tonight and always – has a jaunty walk. Should stroll with Ricky Gervais sometime.

T: Kerry is a GD dream and delight

Outstanding Lead Actress in a Limited Series or Movie

Felicity Huffman, American Crime

Jessica Lange, American Horror Story: Freak Show

Queen Latifah, Bessie

Frances McDormand, Olive Kitteridge

Emma Thompson, Mrs. Lovett

Maggie Gyllenhaal, The Honorable Woman

Molly’s Pick: Emma Thompson, Mrs. Lovett

I have hardly heard anything about Mrs. Lovett, so it will probably be Queen or Maggie, but I just love Emma Thompson so much.

Traci’s Pick:  Frances McDormand, Olive Kitteridge

It’s going to be down to the Queen, Maggie Gyllenhaal and Frances, but I’m going for Frances, purely because Olive Kitteridge is popular among voters, as previously mentioned.

Winner: Frances McDormand, Olive Kitteridge

M: Guys. Olive Kitteridge is NOT the 1920s American Girl doll. I just double checked. You’re welcome.

T: Frances’ speech was short and to the point. I honestly expected her to go on a 5 minute soapbox, but I’m glad she proved me wrong.

M: I mean I love … serious issues, or whatever … but sometimes I put my Secondhand Embarrassment Pants on when actors do the Soapbox Speech unless they do so quickly and well.

9: 30 T: TATIANA

M: I have no idea what this bit is but I’m always here for Tatiana Maslany. She changed her outfit?

T: I don’t think anyone really knows what this bit is, tbh.

M: Am I supposed to know these audience members they show when Gaga comes out, or did they just pick two kids because, like, “youths like Lady Gaga.”

T: Yes Gaga, you look fierce! Despite the fact your “joke” fell flat.

Outstanding Lead Actor in a Limited Series or a Movie

Timothy Hutton, American Crime

Ricky Gervais, Derek Special

Adrien Brody, Houdini

David Oyelowo, Nightingale

Richard Jenkins, Olive Kitteridge

Mark Rylance, Wolf Hall

Molly’s Pick: Timothy Hutton, American Crime

I don’t know what I’m doing.

Traci’s Pick: David Oyelowo, Nightingale

I’ve only seen clips of David Oyelowo in this, but that’s enough to make him my pick. He’s that good.

Winner: Richard Jenkins, Olive Kitteridge

that time richard jenkins was starstruck by gaga

M: What is the Kitteridge medal count? Okay, let’s all steal our parents’ HBO Go passwords and watch this.

T: It’s FIVE. Five for Olive Kitteridge, not American Girl Doll. Also Richard Jenkins, you’re QT.

M: Still feel like Olive’s character bio is like “a spunky, spirited girl discovering the wide world of the Roaring 20’s.”

M: You know you were a college kid in the mid 2000s when your gut reaction is “get off my screen!” when George W. Bush is on TV. His dog paintings are QT tho.

T: This is an In Memoriam for all the shows we lost this year? Here for it. Still gonna cry. SPOILER ALERT, THOUGH.

M: Again. The reason these always run 20 mins over.

T: I’M CRYING BECAUSE PARKS.

M: ME TOO. And offended that Two And A Half Men is on my TV, for hopefully the last time ever.

Outstanding Limited Series

American Crime

American Horror Story: Freak Show

The Honorable Woman

Olive Kitteridge

Wolf Hall

Molly’s Pick: Olive Kitteridge

The Target Book Club picks can’t be wrong

Traci’s Pick: Olive Kitteridge

Read above.

Winner: Olive Kitteridge

M: I filled that in as winner before they announced it.

Olive Kitteridge: A Plucky Girl Who Loves Her Country And Her Family. $82.99 plus S+H.

9: 47 M: Okay, I think we’re finally done with miniseries right? And almost done with TV movies? Can’t believe the Hannah Anderson Story didn’t make the cut.

Outstanding Variety Sketch Series

Drunk History

Inside Amy Schumer

Key & Peele

Portlandia

Saturday Night Live

Molly’s Pick: Inside Amy Schumer

The show seriously hit its stride this year. Key & Peele might have a shot.

Traci’s Pick: Inside Amy Schumer

Even though the SNL40 special was epic in every sense of the word, it’s Amy Schumer’s year, and she deserves it. The show was obviously really good this year too.

Winner: Inside Amy Schumer

M: Love that this happened.

T: YAY! I’m tearing up already! I don’t even watch this show on the regular! “We all had to get Final Draft once they picked up the show.”  This makes me laugh slash cry even more.

M: Amy thanks “this girl who gave me sort of a smoky eye.”

T: UM THEY JUST CUT AMY SCHUMER OFF???

M: WHO WOULD EVER???

10:07 

Outstanding Variety, Music, or Comedy Series

The Colbert Report

The Daily Show

Jimmy Kimmel Live!

Last Week Tonight with John Oliver

Late Show with David Letterman

The Tonight Show Starring Jimmy Fallon

Molly’s Pick: The Colbert Report

More as a win for its whole run, not this season alone.

Traci’s Pick: The Colbert Report

With three outgoing shows, it’s tough to say which sentimental program to pick, but I’m going with The Colbert Report.

Winner:  The Daily Show

M: Well, that’s just as good a sentimental pick for me. Also, remember in the early years of Daily Show when they’d have interviews with random people who didn’t know it was fake news?

T: The on stage graphic for the Drama categories turned red and all of a sudden it was The Red Wedding, amirite? (Again, we don’t watch GoT).

Outstanding Writing for a Drama Series

Joshua Brand, The Americans, “Do Mail Robots Dream of Electric Sheep?”

Gordon Smith, Better Call Saul, “Five-O”

David Benioff and David Weiss, Game of Thrones, “Mother’s Mercy”

Matthew Weiner, Mad Men, “Lost Horizon”

Matthew Weiner, Mad Men, “Person to Person”

Molly’s Pick: Matthew Weiner, Mad Men, “Person to Person”

A sentimental pick that was actually good.

Traci’s Pick: Matthew Weiner, Mad Men, “Person to Person”

I really liked the Mad Men series finale, and have an inkling in will win, but in my heart of hearts, Lost Horizon, the episode that gave us this fantastic gif, is the tops.

Winner: David Benioff and David Weiss, Game of Thrones, “Mother’s Mercy”

T: Reg Cathey’s glasses though. Also this is his real voice? He gives Morgan Freeman a run for his money.

10: 18 M: UGHH Promising college students. As though their youth isn’t enough?

I love creative excellence as much as the next girl, but straight up nobody cares about high-achieving youths except for their families when all of us want this to end at 11 EST.

Outstanding Supporting Actress in a Drama Series

Joanne Froggatt, Downton Abbey

Lena Headey, Game of Thrones

Emilia Clarke, Game of Thrones

Christina Hendricks, Mad Men

Uzo Aduba, Orange Is the New Black

Christine Baranski, The Good Wife

Molly’s Pick: Christina Hendricks, Mad Men.

I don’t know if this is a likely win, but I feel like a lot of people only mention her role in terms of the costuming and such, and overlook that Joan is a nuanced, layered character and Christina kills it.

Traci’s Pick: Christina Hendricks, Mad Men

I really want Mad Men to be the Breaking Bad of this year’s Emmys, in that because it was its last year, they got all the awards. But Christina will have some tough competition, including from Uzo Aduba, who is moving up in the world after submitting as a Supporting Actress as opposed to the Guest Actress like last year (which she won).

Winner: Uzo Aduba

M: !

T: HI I’M CRYING AGAIN.

M: is it weird that they have a crawler telling us when the In Memorium is? Also the bumpers tease the next segments like a bad local news commercial. “Will we remember our favorite entertainers in the In Memorium? Find out at 11!”

10:28

Outstanding Supporting Actor in a Drama Series

Jonathan Banks, Better Call Saul

Ben Mendelsohn, Bloodline

Jim Carter, Downton Abbey

Peter Dinklage, Game of Thrones

Michael Kelly, House of Cards

Alan Cumming, The Good Wife

Molly’s Pick: Peter Dinklage, Game of Thrones

Not sure. Sometimes he wins things.

Traci’s Pick: Michael Kelly, House of Cards

Ben Mendelsohn was fantastic in Bloodline, like so good that as you’re watching it, you know he’s bound to be nominated for something. But Michael Kelly went through a lot of shit on HoC this season, so I’m going with him.

Winner: Peter Dinklage

“and the rest”

M: Ah, yes. Sometimes he wins things, indeed.

T: Um, what’s happening? Why is Game of Thrones winning a lot of things?

M: I wouldn’t know.

But seriously, it’s rapey as hell and I’m just not interested. Dragons? Swords? Nah.

M: In Memorium. Wonder what percentage of In Memoriums use Somewhere Over The Rainbow or It’s A Wonderful World? Or that one mashup of both of them. It’s like Catholic funerals with On Eagles’ Wings, clearly engineered to make you cry.

M: Got misty with Jan Hooks and Edward Hermann. Because I’m a human.

 10: 40

Outstanding Lead Actor in a Drama Series

Kyle Chandler, Bloodline

Jeff Daniels, The Newsroom

Jon Hamm, Mad Men

Bob Odenkirk, Better Call Saul

Liev Schrieber, Ray Donovon

Kevin Spacey, House of Cards

Molly’s Pick: Jon Hamm, Mad Men.

Makes sense.

Traci’s Pick: Jon Hamm, Mad Men

Legit forgot Kyle Chandler was nominated. But I’m going with my boy Don Draper, because he’s already had a tough life, let’s give him this, at the very least.

Winner: Jon Hamm, Mad Men

T: I AM LITERALLY JUMPING UP AND DOWN AND CHEERING FOR HAMM, WHO IS LOOKING LIKE A SMOKESHOW (PER USUAL)

M: Too tired to jump (although I need the fitbit steps) but I am smiling placidly. I like when his face is on TV.

T: ALSO, THIS:

Drew Baird & Liz Lemon

M: Oooh. Not at all ready for this category.

Outstanding Lead Actress in a Drama Series

Claire Danes, Homeland

Viola Davis, How to Get Away with Murder

Taraji P. Henson, Empire

Tatiana Maslany, Orphan Black

Elisabeth Moss, Mad Men

Robin Wright, House of Cards

Molly’s Pick: Tatiana Maslany, Orphan Black

I know getting nominated for a BBC America genre series is a win in itself and I shouldn’t expect any more, but it would still be nice. Whatever, she won my fashion prize. Which I’m sure is just what Tatiana Maslany wants. To win Molly from the Internet’s imaginary fashion prize.

Traci’s Pick: Elisabeth Moss, Mad Men

Such a tough category! I have been going back and forth a lot with this one, and I’m just going to go with Elisabeth Moss. She’s been nominated for the show six times, and like Jonny Hamm, she has never won an Emmy on her own. I so so so so happy that Tatiana got nominated this year, like all of the Internet, but it’s going to be a miracle for her to win over enough Emmy voters to win this one.

Winner: Viola Davis, How To Get Away With Murder

T: WELL. GUSES WHO’S CRYING.

M: GOD am I crying.

“You cannot win an Emmy for roles that are not there.”

10:50

Outstanding Comedy Series

Louie

Modern Family

Parks and Recreation

Silicon Valley

Transparent

Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt

Veep

Molly’s Pick: Transparent

It just seems like the sort of thing Emmy Voters would go for. That or Silicon Valley.

Traci’s Pick: Transparent

I really really really really hope I’m wrong and Parks takes it and literally runs away into a party where they get wasted and just be best friends all night long.

Winner: Veep

M: Emmys love Veep, huh?

T: Anna Chlumsky is EXCITED. But, tbh, so am I. It’s about time Modern Family stopped winning this category.

M: I love a good Andy Samberg tuxedo.

M: TRACY MORGAN.

T: YUP IT’S HAPPENING. TOO MANY TEARS TONIGHT.

M: I’m gonna have a crying headache tomorrow. What, you guys don’t get those? It’s like a tear-hangover.

Outstanding Drama Series

Better Call Saul

Downton Abbey

Game of Thrones

Homeland

House of Cards

Mad Men

Orange Is the New Black

Molly’s Pick: Mad Men

Come back.

Traci’s Pick: Mad Men

I miss you already, Mad Men.

Winner: Game of Thrones

M: ????

T: GUYS. MAD MEN THO. WHAT IS ACTUALLY HAPPENING.

M: LIKE ARE DRAGON SQUADS THAT EXCITING?! I do not know how Mad Men didn’t win. All of the people involved with GoT seem really cool and nice, and I’m sure they are great and the show is great too, but still.

Okay guys, that’s it! Thanks for reading and be sure to come back tomorrow for our fashion post! Gonna go pop some ibuprofen to fight off our tear-hangovers.

My Fantasy Comic-Con

Nerds unite! San Diego’s annual Comic-Con kicks off today, and thousands of folks are swarming the city to talk comic books, graphic novels, TV shows, TV shows based on comic books, movies, movies based on comic books and more. I personally am not one to enjoy big crowds and waiting in line for hours, so I don’t get the appeal. Ironically, I am in San Diego on a visit for pleasure, and am an idiot for picking the one week to go to SD when lit’rally everyone else is here. But that’s besides the point.

If Comic-Con was smaller and involved more things I liked, I would totally be for it. So if you’re waiting in line for whatever is in Hall H right now, take a minute to read my ideal line-up for a personalized Comic-Con, because let’s face it, you’re gonna be there for a while anyways, so why not read our blog?!

Orphan Black

I know there’s already going to be a bunch of OB events throughout the weekend, but what if there was one panel that was just Tatiana Maslany, and she would pretend to be everyone. Including all the clones and her fellow cast members. This might not be physically possible, but it is Comic-Con, everyone has an imagination there, right?

HBIC

Every year, Entertainment Weekly holds a Women Who Kick Ass panel, featuring ladies who do a particularly good job of showing people who’s boss with their physical and mental prowess. Similarly, I propose a HBIC panel (that’s Head Bitch In Charge for you plebs), expanding the list of women who not only kick ass in entertainment, but who also exude qualities of great leadership, a positive role model, and is an all-around BO$$. Panelists include, but are not limited to: Emma Watson, Tatiana Maslany, Scarlett Johansson, Jennifer Lawrence, Amy Poehler, Julia Louis-Dreyfus, Kerry Washington, Mindy Kaling.

Sizzling Superheroes

Like Magic Mike, but of the superhero world. Including Chris Pratt, Michael B. Jordan, RDJ, Chris Evans, basically all the Avengers.

Heroes Season 1

Remember how good Heroes was? Specifically the first season? I’m not particularly attracted to sci-fi shows until a bunch of other people tell me to watch it. However, Heroes had the added value of Milo Ventimiglia being in it, of course from Gilmore Girls fame. I quickly became one of the millions of other viewers who became obsessed with the show and even managed to stay with it until the end, despite basically hate-watching it. If the cast of the first season could just come together and talk about that and maybe the WGA Strike second season, that would be ideal.

Teen Witch

I watched this 1989 classic for the first time a couple years ago, and I fell in love with it. It captures the essence of the ridiculous fashion sense of the time, the corniness of teen romances, and there’s also a horrible/amazing rap scene. If you haven’t seen it, do yourself a favor and get acquainted with it. But in a nutshell Louise (Robyn Lively/Blake’s older sister) turns 16 and gets magical powers, and has to decide if she wants to use them for good. It’s been just over 25 years since the movie came out, and it’s been a cult hit ever since. I don’t necessarily need a sequel, I just want to see what these folks think of its popularity all these years later.

Pushing Daisies

Pushing Daisies was a short-lived, three-season show that found a cult following, but not big enough for it to stay on the air. It was romantic, critically acclaimed, well acted, and unique, perhaps so much so that it was too high-concept for the viewers at ABC and middle-America to follow. The main plot is that pie-maker Ned (the wonderful Lee Pace) has the ability to bring things and people back to life with his touch. It definitely falls under the Cancelled Too Soon category, and perhaps bringing the cast back together can muster up some sort of Netflix mini-series event?

Are You Afraid of the Dark?

I’m not gonna lie to y’all – Are You Afraid of the Dark? actually managed to scare me. I played it off when I was talking about it in school, but in reality, I could basically only watch the campsite scenes and parts of the ‘reenactments’. What’s impressive about the show is that it’s been a pop culture staple in many millennials’ lives, whether you were frightened or not, and because we tend to forget details as children, many of us may not know that there were a lot of now-stars to get their start on the show. People like Elisha Cuthbert, JoAnna Garcia Swisher, Vanessa Lengies and Clueless TV star Rachel Blanchard were all in the Midnight Society, while guest stars included Ryan Gosling, Neve Campbell, Hayden Christensen, Jay Baruchel and Emily VanCamp. Let’s get all those folks together with a fire and some sand, shall we?

The Event

watermarks be damned – this pic still makes my brain explode

Did I watch this show because our best friend Scott Patterson was in it? Yes. Was it weird to me that two of Lauren Graham’s former onscreen gentleman callers (Scott/Luke and Jason Ritter/Mr. Cyr from Parenthood)? Yes. Do I want this to be a panel at comic-Con just so they can explain to me the plot of the show? Also yes.

Early Edition

Coach Taylor before he was Coach Taylor, when most of the masses were introduced to the extreme talent that is Kyle Chandler. This was one of the shows I probably was a little too young to watch, but luckily for CBS, the only things I really remember about the show are Kyle Chandler getting the newspaper a day early, the blind woman, and a cat. Plus, any excuse to be in the presence of Kyle Chandler is worth it. PS – you can watch full episodes on the YouTube!

Community

Because #SixSeasonsAndAMovieAndAComicConPanel

Pretty Little Liars

Stop fucking around and just get to who Charles/-A is and WHY and HOW he is tormenting these high schoolers.

Show You Should Be Watching If You Aren’t Already: Orphan Black

If you’re a crazypants TV watcher like me, your prime time schedule has been greatly minimized since the season finale bonanza in May. I usually like to take the summer to binge watch series that have been on my ‘To Watch’ list. This year, I had The Wire at the very top of the list… Until I heard about Orphan Black, and I’m so glad I bumped it to the top.

Orphan Black is a series on BBC America that ended its first season run at the beginning of June. Despite the fact it wasn’t the best rated program, it’s been slowing gaining a lot of attenion, and garnering a lot of critical acclaim just in time for Emmy voting season. Not to mention the lead actress, Tatiana Maslany, just won a Critics’ Choice Television award for Best Drama Actress (beating out the likes of Claire Danes & Juliana Margulies)! With all the talk about the show and the fact it’s only 10 episodes, I bumped OB to up to spot number one.

Quick plot summary: A woman named Sarah witnesses another woman, Beth, jump into train tracks to commit suicide. Sarah decides to steal her purse only to find out she looks exactly like Beth. In order to escape her messed up life, Sarah assumes Beth’s identity… except she soon finds out there are other women out there who look just like them. Clones if you will. Needless to say, there’s a sci-fi element to it. For the record, I’m not that into sci-fi shows, I mean I really liked Heroes, but this show is more drama than sci-fi, if that’s any help to you.

Number one reason you need to watch this show:

Tatiana Maslany!

It’s true what all the critics are saying about her. She is amazing. Because this show is about clones, she plays every single one – 9 in all I believe? – flawlessly. So much so that in my head they’re all different actresses. She posted a pic of one clone’s love interest, and I was like ‘how is she even with her, she doesn’t have scenes with that character?’ No, I’m an idiot, she’s really good at her job, and she plays all the clones and acts with all the other actors.

Every character is so fleshed out. From the costumes, to the little personality traits to the accents (oh yeah, she switches between accents too), everything flows so seamlessly. There are multiple scenes throughout the show where she has to play a clone pretending to be another clone. It sounds confusing, but she makes it so believable. On top of that, she’s a really good actress. In the approx 5 minutes Beth is shown before she kills herself, Tatiana shows her entire character in just one look. It’s mesmerizing.

For example:

This is Sarah. Punk-rock chick.

This is Beth. Detective about to commit suicide.

This is Tatiana Maslany playing Sarah pretending to be Beth.

One of the great things I read in an interview with Tatiana is that she has an extensive background in improv, which she uses to solidify each character. Her intuition of the ‘yes, and’ process helps lead the character in the natural direction she would go in. If you’ve ever seen (good) improv-ers, you know that they can make anything into a like 15-30 minutes – or more – sketch (Name a profession and a place! A pimp in Transylvania! So much story to tell already!). With Tatiana, she’s using that same skill and creating an arc for all 9 characters from episode to episode, building on the excellent backstory and script provided for her. Plus her mom is a French/English translator, so she is super good with languages. She learned German before she learned how to speak English! She’s legit perfect for this role. Roles. All the roles.

In fact, to all you Emmy voters out there, please please please give this girl a nomination at least. And then give her an Emmy. I feel so strongly about this I’m inclined to start a grassroots campaign – which I’m sure has already been started by some fangirl in Canada (fun fact: the series was shot and based in Canada. In fact, Tatiana and most of the cast are Canadian! Eh!).

There was a recent article on Buzzfeed in which comedian Patton Oswalt legit explains why she deserves all the awards. I’m not the only one who believes in this girl, y’all!

I would list other reasons why you should watch this show, like I guess the other excellent actors, the outstanding writing, the show’s ability to make you have no idea what’s going to happen next and possibly yell and throw objects at the TV, the hilarious jokes that are thrown in, or the loyal, gay best friend:

or this smokeshow (Paul, Beth’s boyfriend):
.But I’m going to stick with Tatiana Maslany. Only thing that sucks about this show: the fact that it doesn’t come back until 2014. But come on, what else are you going to watch until Breaking Bad comes back??

PS: Orphan Black is currently available On Demand (for Time Warner Cable, at least), but here’s a handy guide to find a provider near you!