Hear ye, hear ye! The Hamiltome is finally here! For those non-Hamilfans, that translates into the Hamilton: The Revolution book, which is basically the Hamilton libretto with margin notes from precious cinnamon roll Lin-Manuel Miranda throughout. Ironically (or maybe not ironically), the arrival of the book comes a day before what would have been Thomas Jefferson’s 273rd birthday. Age ain’t nothin’ but a number. And while I’m waiting for my copy of the Hamiltome to arrive, I figured we could look back at the legacy left by Thomas Jefferson. And by Thomas Jefferson, I mean Daveed Diggs, because our country’s third president was the definition of “your fave is problematic”.
Quick recap on America’s founding father Thomas Jefferson
Primary author of Declaration of Independence.
He was an aristocrat who owned 7,500 acres of land in Virginia. Thus he believed owning land was the only real wealth in the country, and that farming was the best job ever. That’d be like of Farmer Chris from The Bachelor became the president and was like, ‘Y’alls teachers and business owners and doctors are scientists are NOTHING compared to me and my tractor.’
He was super into Native Americans and was an advocate for assimilation policies and peaceful U.S. – Indian treaty alliances.
TJ believed banks were the second coming, a sign of all things evil because of its “scheming” ways.
He promised to free the 175 slaves his father owned once pops died, but he only freed five – the ones related to Sally Hemings.
PS: Sally Hemings was his infamous mistress, who also happened to be his slave. He father some of her kids, but still unclear.
Speaking of which, TJ had hypocritical tendencies with his stances on slavery and equality in general. For example, in the Declaration of Independence, you know the thing that says, “We hold these truths to be self-evident, that all men are created equal, that they are endowed by their Creator with certain unalienable Rights, that among these are Life, Liberty and the pursuit of Happiness”? He owned a total of more than 600 slaves in his lifetime, and considered women especially “profitable”, since they could bang out kids that would in turn become slaves.
As seen in Hamilton, Jefferson and James Madison are out to take down A.Ham – “get in the weeds, look for the seeds of Hamilton’s misdeeds.” They find out Alexander’s paying off some dude – James Reynolds aka husband to Maria Reynolds aka Alex’s mistress – and it’s all a little too ironic TJ wants to out Alex’s adultery, because, uh, Sally.
So instead, we’re going to focus on Daveed, the extremely talented man who plays both TJ and Marquis de Lafayette in Hamilton. He’s way, way less problematic, unless you couldn’t being a first-class rapper and handsome motherf’ker a problem.
Quick recap on America’s faux founding father Daveed Diggs
Born and raised in Oakland, California
Half Jewish, half black (hear that AEA casting call people?)
His first job was at Pier 1 Imports at the age of 15. He spent most of the day unwrapping individually wrapped wooden fish. He hated it. Hasn’t stepped in that store since.
Majored in theatre at Brown University
He was a substitute teacher. Speak up kids who had to call this dude Mr. Diggs in that one Algebra class.
He also was on the track team, focusing on sprinting and hurdles. Bless this picture.
At Brown, Daveed was part of a “rappers supergroup” called Soul Cypher. Can you even imagine going to a party and seeing Daveed and co. freestyling??
Since he had the chops, Daveed was recruited by Hamilton director Tommy Kail to join Freestyle Love Supreme, the hip-hop improv/theater group he co-created with Lin-Manuel Miranda.
Daveed filled in here and there for FLS, becoming one of the regular reparatory members, along with Chris Jackson (George Washington in Hamilton) and James Monroe Iglehart (Genie in Broadway’s Aladdin). It was during a show in New Orleans for a SportsCenter show that Tommy Kail mentioned Lin was doing a play (a rap musical about Alexander Hamilton) and invited him to a reading. He’s been involved with the show ever since.
The idea when first described to me was laughable. A rap musical about Alexander Hamilton—it didn’t make me jump up and down. Once I read the script and heard the songs, I knew there was something great there. Watching Chris Jackson play George Washington for a week, I left thinking that the dollar bill looked wrong. I walked out of the show with a sense of ownership over American history. Part of it is seeing brown bodies play these people. {x}
He’s already won two awards for Hamilton – a Lucille Lortel Award and Theatre World Award, not to mention the Grammy he and his castmates won for Best Musical Theatre Soundtrack.
Daveed is also part of a trio called clipping., an experimental hip-hop group which combines Sorkin-esque paced raps with experimental sounds and beats only made from field recordings they create themselves.
He also spit some rhymes in this video, and although I’m not quite sure how to process this, you should probably watch it anyways.
The American Idol series finale was last night, and the country crowned its 15th and final winner La’Porsha Trent Harmon. The show was jam-packed with special performances from former Idol contestants (Tamyra Gray, Katharine McPhee, Chris Daughtry, Jessica Sanchez, Pia Toscano, Kellie Pickler), winners (Ruben, Fantasia, Carrie, Jordin, White Guys With Guitars, Kelly SINGING A MOMENT LIKE THIS), and Brian Dunkleman. It was clearly emotional for all those involved in the show for the past 10+ years, but it full disclosure, it was emotional for me too.
Yeah, 15 seasons is quite a long run and it’s definitely time to go, but you can’t deny how much of an impact this show has had on reality TV, the music industry, and most importantly, the lives of all those involved. For instance, Kelly Clarkson was waiting tables when she auditioned for the show, and was barely getting by. Now she’s become one of the most successful and acclaimed artists not only as an Idol alum but in pop music, and she probably wouldn’t have been able to reach the level of success she’s at without this platform.
But what I’ve realized over the past few days is that I’m not so much “sad” to see the show go – it’s more of the nostalgia I get from the Idol, yearning for the glory of what the show once was. Case in point last night’s finale. Reuniting the Three Divas (Fantasia, Jennifer Hudson & LaToya London), teaming up Justin Guarini & Jordin Sparks, throwing to Sanjaya & his hair in the audience, and that entire Gospel medley. The producers brought all these people back because THEY are what made Idol great. Back in its heyday, circa 2003 to 2009, Idol became the highest-rated TV show in the United States for an unprecedented seven consecutive years. It became bigger than anyone could ever have imagined. There were even people lit’rally making money off of Idol online with dedicated websites (because the Internet was still emerging as a thing) like Rickey.org and MjsBigBlog, and that type of fandom for an unscripted reality competition series had never been seen before.
But back then, everyone was watching it because it was entertaining. People got sucked into voting for their favorites (or their least favorites – Vote for the Worst, anyone?) and it became watercooler fodder the next day. I am not ashamed to admit that I, too, became a crazed fan of Idol. I purchased not only the winners’ albums but the Idol compilation albums. I’ve gone to a few of the Idol summer tours, and if you recall from a previous post, I may have been in the audience in season one holding up a sign that in all honestly, I partly made so I could get on TV. It worked.
LOL HI
Anyway, all this to say that while a lot of people consider the past few seasons of Idol completely moot, a series finale makes you remember why you fell in love with the show in the first place. Over the past 15 seasons, Idol has definitely given us plenty to talk about, and what better time to talk about all those moments than on the day after the show ends? Thanks for all the memories and lasting legacies you’ve left us with. We’ll Nvr4Get.
The Audacity of Season 1
Season one was kind of a shit show, but a good shit show. Production value was lower than Scotty McCreery’s basso profondo and it took a while for people to tune in. As we know, the auditions are sometimes the most entertaining episodes, and season one was no exception. It was the first we’d see of the extremely outspoken, cutthroat, no filter Simon Cowell. It was like he was being rude to all these contestants (who admittedly couldn’t carry one note) and America was like, ‘Yo, who the hell is this British dude?’ It was also telling of the singers who came in to audition – it was jarring to see a handful of people fight back against the judges and Cowell, since we weren’t necessarily used to the harsh talk back on TV. Enter Tamika Bush, who was one of the very first rude singers to grace the show. I personally enjoy her two-glasses style approach. Why keep your prescription sunglasses in your bag when you can just wear it you head?
Forget JHud, Give From Justin to Kelly An Oscar
Ok, you probably didn’t forget this happened but did you even watch it at all? WELL I DID. In the theater. And maybe with Molly? (yes, and I didn’t realize it would be a musical. YEAH.-M) Either way, it wasn’t that good, but it was along the lines of so bad it’s good. Bless these two for having to do this. The downside of fame, y’all.
Simon + Paula = Saula
In the first couple of seasons, viewers noticed there was an odd chemistry between Simon Cowell and Paula Abdul. They’d be at odds with each other one second and the next it felt as if we all needed to leave the room so they could have it to themselves. During the season two finale, producers had fun with this and came up with this little sketch that is something you can never unsee.
World Idol Was a Thing
If you didn’t know, American Idol was adapted from the British version called Pop Idol, which was a huge hit in the U.K. Soon after its major success, more versions of the show started popping up around the world, and by late 2003, when we had already crowned our first and only Idol Kelly, producers of Pop Idol decided it would be a good idea to create World Idol. Think of it as Eurovision, but less importance on the song choice. Don’t get that reference, you lousy Americans? It’s like of the Olympics had a singing event and had one representative from each country compete. Kelly repped the U.S. but came in second to Norway’s Kurt Nilsen, who won with U2’s Beautiful Day. Foiled by Bono again.
Beating the System
For season four, a tricky concept called Dial Idol was introduced, and it’s important to know this had no affiliation at all to American Idol itself. Dial Idol was a Windows program and its associated website that tracks voting trends for Idol contestants. Using your PC’s modem, viewers can automatically vote for their faves and the program reports back to the main website. That site, DialIdol.com, kept track of all the voting data, and therefore was usually a good indicator on who was leading week to week. From seasons four through 13, Dial Idol’s prediction on who would take home the crown was only wrong once, and it was for S13 when the data predicted Jena Irene would win over Caleb Johnson (I barely watched that season too). It was controversial for many reasons, but for those betting money on Idol, it proved to be a secret weapon and guide to win that dough.
The Three Divas Debacle
This was an epic moment from season 3, and maybe the best/worst elimination ever? (Watch it above around the 28:23 mark) It was the results show revealing who was going to make the top 6. Ryan divided the remaining contestants into two groups – on the left side of the stage, it was Fantasia, LaToya and JHud. On the right side of the stage, it was Diana DeGarmo, John Stevens and Jasmine Trias. Ryan then told the remaining contestant, George Huff, that he was safe and to go to the group he also thought was safe. He apprehensively approached the groups, with the Three Divas motioning to come to join them. The audience cheered but then Ryan announced the plot twist – he had joined the wrong group. Note: they did this fake out again in S6, but Melinda Doolittle (in the George Huff position) decided to sit in the middle of the stage and didn’t pick a side lololol). Anyways, the result was the shocking elimination of Jennifer Hudson, but I hear she’s been doing fine since then.
Queen of Crying Memes
Ah, crying girl. The most memorable fan to come out of the pits of the CBS studio audience. Crying girl, aka Ashley Ferl, was 13 years old when she was left in hormonal teen tears after Sanjaya seductively moved his hips as he sang You Really Got Me in season six. The camera only panned to her for a few brief moments, but she’s lived on in the Internet forever. She’s now 22 and a college student majoring in liberal studies. And while she may not be a Fanjaya anymore, she’s still an Idol viewer. Wonder what she thought about Sanjaya’s random wig appearances on the finale last night.
American Juniors
After the unprecedented success of the first two seasons of American Idol, producers decided to capitalize on it even more by launching a spin-off show called American Juniors, looking for the best five young talents to create the country’s next big pop group. The format was a little different than Idol Senior, wherein each week one kid would get voted into the group as opposed to being eliminated. The group barely became anything, but the only thing you need to take out of it is that American was introduced to Lucy Hale of Pretty Little Liars fame. She made it to the group, but now runs from some Big Bad trying to kill her and her friends in designer clothes.
American Idol Experience
In 2009, a theme park attraction called the American Idol Experience, opened at Disney’ World’s Hollywood Studios. It was basically set up to be just like the show, with singers actually auditioning and performing in front of a real audience for a real shot to audition for the real show. There were a handful of Idol finalists from the AI Experience who made it to the show, but that doesn’t matter. What matters is that at the grand opening of the attraction, a bunch of Idol alum took the stage, including winners S1 through 7, and that provided for a duet of two of my faves, Carrie and David Cook as seen above. And if you want to go to this attraction, too late. It closed in 2014.
The Best Hollywood Week Groups
Hollywood Week is notoriously difficult, and maybe my favorite part of each season. The contestants are really put to the test, and it always seems like everyone is sleep deprived, hates most people the interact with, and can’t remember the words to well-known songs for the life of them. Tensions run high, people get sick (S11 winner Phillip Phillips even had to be hospitalized during Hollywood Week due to kidney problems) and many are cut from the competition. But every year it’s the group rounds that separate the best from the worst, and in season six, four guys did their damn thing. Three of them even made the semi-finals, with Blake coming in as the runner-up to Jordin. Special shout out to White Chocolate from season eight.
Pants on the Ground
Civil rights activist “General” Larry Platt auditioned with this song in season nine and it became a viral hit. The actual track is meant to protest the practice of guys sagging their trousers, but I have a funny feeling most of the people who bought the single didn’t even realize the real meaning behind it. Either way, it was so memorable he even made a brief appearance on the series finale.
Idol Gives Back
Idol Gives Back was a charity campaign that happened three times throughout the run of the show. The episode featured performances from current and past Idols, celebrities, and music superstars in an effort to get people to donate their money to charity. From the three specials, the campaign raised over $185 million for underserved communities in America and around the world. And also Brad Pitt.
The Scandals
Listen, you can’t have thousands of people across America going to an open call for a hit TV show without meeting a few folks with colorful backgrounds. It began in season two with Corey Clark who was disqualified during the finals (he made it to the top 9) because of an undisclosed criminal record. He later claimed he had an affair with Paula during the show, and that led to her giving him preferential treatment. That went away, but he became a hot mess afterwards. Similarly, Frenchie Davis who I thought was going to be a frontrunner (see: Band of Gold that I still listen to to this day), was disqualified for having previously modelled for an adult website. Other notable controversial contestants include S4’s Mario Vasquez (a frontrunner, left on his own accord citing personal reasons, rumored to be related to lewd conduct with a crew member), S6’s Antonella Barba (racy pix of her surfaced online), S7’s David Hernandez (used to be a stripper), S11’s Jermaine Jones (concealed arrests and outstanding warrants).
Seacrest’s High Five Faux Pas
There is no back story to this besides Ryan can’t read the room.
The Life of Pablo
That time Seacrest used his connections to get Kanye to audition.
“Other Door”
Contestants in the initial rounds had a lot of trouble figuring out which door to leave through, and this montage still gets me cracking up every time. In recent years, they’ve noticeably put an Idol-branded sticker on the door to indicate which one they should go out of.
Bikini Girl
In season eight, a gal called Katrina Darrell showed up to the auditions in only a bikini. It became this whole thing and she even managed to steal a kiss from Ryan. Second-hand embarrassment. She surprisingly made it to Hollywood but got cut in the group rounds. She appeared in the finale alongside judge Kara DioGuardi, who also showed up in her bikini and sang. This show, I swear.
Nicki vs. Mariah
Like what even happened that season? Rumors of their fighting surfaced (maybe that should be in quotes) on TMZ long before the first episodes even aired, and it continued for the whole season. It was annoying. It was even more annoying because the focus turned from the contestants to them, and that’s not fair.
Bigger and Better Than Idol
Listen, not everyone can get it right. And that includes Idol judges. There have been a handful of singers who auditioned for the show, didn’t make it, but eventually became superstars. For instance, Tori Kelly got cut during Hollywood Week, and Simon was not a fan of hers. Cut to 2016 when she got nominated for a Best New Artist Grammy. Lady Antebellum’s Hillary Scott, COlbie Calliat, and Glee’s Amber Riley both didn’t even make it past the preliminary rounds, while The Swon Brothers’ Colton Swon and The Hunger Games star Alan Ritchson also didn’t make the cut.
#YouTried
And finally, here’s an ode to all the finalists who left an impression on me and other Idol fans throughout the 15 seasons. Most of the contestants listed below were underdogs and/or underappreciated, and I feel like they need one more shout out before Idol rides off into the sunset… for now (an actual phrase Seacrest said at the end of the finale, which could mean anything but I don’t need it to come back).
Despite being alive in the late 1980s, there are a bunch of movies from this decade that I am totally blind to – Dirty Dancing, Ghost, Top Gun, all of which I’ve since seen. Flashdance is one of them.
This movie was released on April 15, 1983, which makes it nearly 33 years old and three years older than me, so this should be a nice FLASHback to the 80s. Although since we’re deep into Cheers, it shouldn’t be that much of a shock.
Knowledge of this film:
Not Jennifer Grey but rather Jennifer Beals is a dancer and she pours a bucket of water on her person. Also, that What a Feeling song.
Actual IMDb description:
A Pittsburgh woman with two jobs as a welder and an exotic dancer wants to get into ballet school.
SHE’S A STRIPPER?!?!?!?! WHO WANTS TO GET INTO BALLET SCHOOL?? LIT’RALLY NO IDEA.
The title scrolls across the screen like a screensaver from Windows 95. There was a similar title card in The Bodyguard, was this just a thing then??
So Jennifer Beals a legit welder? In the 80s was this a common job for women? Or was it just in Pittsburgh because… steel?
If Irene Cara’s What a Feeling *now I’m dancing for my life* music wasn’t playing throughout these opening credits I would think this is a horror movie with all the shots of coal and people welding in the dark.
Ok, Jennifer Beals is a stripper but have any of her male co-workers been to her strip club because I feel like that would be an awkward conversation the next morning in the locker room.
Ah yes, the iconic water scene. She’s actually a good dancer. Especially since she’s dancing on water. I would’ve broken half my bones at this point.
Oh is she an exotic dancer in who doesn’t strip?
Well the guy who just walked in knows her social security number and tells his pal that she works for him. So there’s that.
Richie, the cook at the bar/strip club, wants to get out of Pittsburgh and move to Los Angeles, but a guy (who I’m assuming is the big boss) tells him, “They don’t let short people into Hollywood.” I CAN BUST THIS MYTH RIGHT NOW.
“This place is so small you have to go outside to change your mind.” – Richie, A short-order cook who’s definitely going to make it as a comic in LA.
Nick looks like a typical “hunk” from the 1980s. Like Tom Selleck or Dustin Diamond.
She’s holding a Pepsi that is an old school metal can and besides the big hair it’s one of the props that makes it obvious it’s the 1980s.
She’s a Maniac is from this movie? What is this weird lunging she’s doing? I’ve obviously seen this running in place move but she’s not even dancing she’s doing weird warm-ups.
Jennifer Beals – do we even know her character’s name yet it’s Alex – enters a dance school where the hallways are lined with leotard and tight-wearing ballet dancers and it’s like Save the Last Dance all over again.
Is this secretary related to Meryl Streep?
Tom Selleck is hitting on Jennifer Beals and just wants to get a snack with her. Get a freaking snack with him Alex.
Alex has a QT old grandma.
She also has a priest she goes to to confess. Gotta get that coveted Catholic demographic in the theater.
Some dude who’s trying to get people to watch the exotic dancers just used the word “cunts”, so he is problematic.
There is a workout montage set to the tune of I Love Rock and Roll and it is the MOST 80s thing I’ve seen.
There are two pop-locking/breakdancing kids (?) in the street and they are my favorites so far.
I realized there have been two dancing scenes sans dialogue (a skating rink and crossing guard) in a row and I think it’s because Alex is attempting to pick up new dance moves from the literal streets? IS THIS NOT SAVE THE LAST DANCE?
Richie is doing his stand-up act at the bar and no one is laughing. BLESS. The joke that makes everyone laugh: “I’m just a cook. This is my big break. If you don’t laugh then I’m gonna put cockroaches in your hamburgers!”
But really, this club is not a strip club no one has gotten naked. Do these clubs still exist? It’s like Chippendales but more clothes (remind me to tell you about my recent experience at Chippendales).
The dude with the offensive language, whose name is apparently Johnny, tries to grab Alex and get her to go with him to “drink wine and smoke some weed” and I hate him. He also beat up Richie, so he’s the worst.
Nick Selleck comes out of the literal shadows to save Alex and instead of getting a ride home from him, she decides to bike home in the dark. Come on Alex, Selleck isn’t going to do anything to you (he drives behind her the whole time for safety).
Alex has a friend named Jeanie who is a competitive ice skater and it makes me yearn for the Olympics/The Cutting Edge movie. JEANIE FELL. SHE FELL AGAIN. THOSE DAMN TRIPLE AXELS. Her dreams are shattered.
Alex and Nick are on a date and she takes him back to her place (an old warehouse?) to eat pizza. BOW CHICKA WOW WOW.
She changed into a sweatshirt and took off her bra in front of him. This is their first date. And it doesn’t matter because they slept together. Their next date is literally walking down a railroad track which leads to a landfill of steel. Guys, just because you work as welders doesn’t mean you have to make your dates themed as such too.
WHAT IN THE FRESH HELL IS THIS I CAN’T STOP LAUGHING IT’S LIKE A 1980S GEISHA DURING A DREAM SEQUENCE OF HOW PEOPLE FROM THE 80S PICTURED THE FUTURE. OMG LITERALLY THIS SONG IS CALLED IMAGINATION AND HAS THE WORDS “FANTASY” IN IT
“Do you know how to do the horizontal mambo” Asshole dude GTFO
Whooaaa Alex just threw stones through Nick’s window in anger but I missed why she is so upset.
Richie is leaving for LA to go for his dreams as a stand-up coming and I am truly sad to see him go but happy he’s
Oh Alex saw Nick with some blonde chick at a dance benefit, who turned out to be his ex-wife.
“I broke your fucking window!… Go fuck your blonde!” I LOVE ALEX
LOL at all the other welders cheering them on from the peanut gallery
Yo Alex is serving in this tuxedo look.
Nick’s ex-wife LOL she looks like a Scandinavian socialite.
What’s happening here? Is it Halloween? It’s Halloween. There’s a free for all on the stage.
Alex applied for an audition to the dance conservatory and she got in!
Alex realizes Nick made a phone call to get her the audition, which she obviously didn’t want because she is a strong, independent lady of the 1980s who doesn’t need any GD help from any man.
Oh finally a strip club with actual stripping. It’s like everyone hates their lives here. Apparently Jeannie ditched being an ice skater and decided to only be a real stripper.
HAHA Alex straight up pulls Jeannie from the stage as she’s stripping. AND Asshole guy comes out of nowhere to tell her to not take Jeannie away and Alex pushes him away. It is great.
“When you give up on a dream, you die.” Nick Selleck says to Alex, and Alex realizing she could end up like Jeannie as a real stripper all at the same time.
Is QT grandma not actually her grandma? Alex is calling her Hanna. OMG SHE DIED. YESTERDAY. NOOOOOO
But NOW I bet Alex is going to use her pain and suffering to follow through on her promise to QT grandma Hanna to get into the dance school.
In full disclosure, I’m getting hungry and there are 20 minutes left of this movie and I can barely pay attention.
But Alex is back in the Priest’s confessional and crying? She’s sinned, obvs.
Alex is back in her black leotard from when she was lunging for this audition, and I’m really wondering why type of dance she’s qualifying this as. She’s literally gliding by the judges’ table and pointing at each of them hahahaha Yup, she’s incorporating breakdancing in this audition. And apparently she got in because the next scene was see is her running outside to meet Nick and she’s super happy about it.
So that was fine, I guess. I’d say don’t waste your time on it?
Well folks, it was no April Fools’ Day joke – maybe it was kind of a little? – but on Friday, SyFy premiered Dead 7, a zombie Western featuring 90s boy band members and teen idols and made by the fine folks who blessed the world with all the Sharknadoes.
When I first heard about this movie, I was NOT aware it was supposed to be in the same vein as Sharknado, so finding out my beloved Backstreet Boys members – Nick Carter, AJ McLean and Howie Dorough – were going to be in it, I immediately #SMH in shame. Especially because this is the movie’s description:
A post-apocalyptic Western that follows a group of gunslingers as they look to rid a small town of a zombie plague.
Um. Nope. But if you go into it knowing it’s a parody of sorts, I think you’ll enjoy it more. Or at least not shake your head in as much shame. Or if you really want to forego the entire viewing experience all together, just watch this trailer and keep reading.
Comment: what.
lol the opening credits are already ridiculous and I already know I’m going to hate this “plot” because I don’t care for zombies OR Westerns. But this is what I’m told: “Will they become cattle for the army of the dead or become warriors and fight against the growing darkness?”
Concern: U MadTV
This is the villain of the movie, Apocolypta, who is leading the “cattle”. She was also on MadTV and that’s the only thing I know her from, so will I be able to see past that? She does have an extremely annoying growling voice that isn’t anything like her Whitney Houston on the show.
Question: Dothraki?
Apocolypta is speaking some sort of foreign language, but why? Where is this taking place?
Concern: Ew. Blood.
One of the reasons why I hate zombie movies/shows is because I do not like watching blood and guts and anything of that nature. We’re four minutes in and Apocolypta serves some prisoner a human heart to eat. This is going to be rough.
Comment: MY BBs
Story by Nick Carter. My boo 4 LIFE AJ McLean on a horse. A REMINDER OF WHY I’M WATCHING THIS MOVIE.
Comment: Come on and Heat it up
Chapter 1 (there’s more than one chapter??) takes places in Harper’s Junction, and we meet the first of the Dead 7, Billy aka Jeff Timmons of 98 Degrees, who shows up looking like a real dirty All-American hero. He has aged well, considering some of his counterparts. Hey, remember the time Jeff was in the Chippendales? Let me tell you – I just went to Vegas to see the Chippendales for my friend’s bachelorette and no one was quite as famous as Jeff Timmons.
Question: Random killings necessary?
Why is AJ straight up running into Harper’s Junction and shooting people left and right? He’s like the Joker on acid (I answered my own question – he’s working for Apocolypta and killing folks for the zombies to heat. Can you tell I don’t watch The Walking Dead?)
Concern: Visual effects are mediocre at best
Turns out Jeff Timmons is one of the heroes (duh, Traci), and he kills zombies with his guns, in a way that is very reminiscent of the “special effects” seen when Ian Ziering battles sharks in Sharknado. As in, it’s horrible but horrible enough to let you know they’re not serious about this.
Comment: Hey boobs
Number 2 of 7 is Daisy Jane, a large-breasted blonde played by Carrie Keegan. Don’t know who that is? That’s fine, I only know her because she used to host a live morning show on VH1 I had to cover for work called Big Morning Buzz, which she left in order to focus on acting. Ironically, she was replaced by none other than 98 Degrees’ own Nick Lachey.
Comment: This dialogue
“She took my eye but she took your balls.”
One of the first scenes Chris Kirkpatrick of ‘N Sync fame has is when Apocolypta gouges his eye with her thumb. He has an eye patch. And is the mayor of Desert Springs Jon Secada of Jon Secada has sideburns. GOD BLESS.
Comment: Perfect casting
AJ is an insane villain and no shade, he is so good at being crazy. He’s always been the crazy one of the group so it’s in his wheelhouse, and his performance is getting me through this movie. And it’s only been 13 minutes. Also, we’re on “Chapter II: The Magnificent Dead 7” … how many chapters are there?
Question: Should I know these people?
Because there are so many rando 90s stars in the movie, I honestly can’t tell if some of these folks are celebrities or people from central casting.
Comment: More Joey Fatone
We meet 3 of 7, Whiskey Joe as played by the second best actor in this movie, Joey Fatone of ‘N Sync. He’s beating people up and drinking from his whiskey bottle it is fantastic. Right after this fight, he says, “I gotta go” and he doesn’t mean leave the premises, he’s gotta go number one because WHISKEY.
Concern: Type casting
Howard Dwaine Dorough of the Backstreet Boys is 4 of 7, a dude named Vaquero. Aka a Latino man with Ray Bans from the actual 1990s. And his accent is… maybe slightly offensive. Maybe also offensive is 5 of 7 Komodo – Erik Estrada of O-Town. Despite also being Latino, he is not type cast but rather playing a sword-wielding ninja cowboy. So Vaquero is way more offensive, I’ve decided.
Question: THERE’S A FOURTH SHARKNADO?
“Sharknado 4 – The 4th Awakens”. This title tho.
Comment: Meta jokes begin
In what I think is the first meta joke of the movie, Gerardo Mejía (the Rico Suave guy) is a store owner? (Who accepts teeth as payment?) Anyways, he says, “Suave! Woo! That’s my boy!” while he’s reading a magazine of sorts. What type of magazine could he possibly be looking at in this zombie world?
Question: What is Nick Carter hiding?
6 of 7 is the one and only Nick Carter of BSB, who plays Jack, Billy/Jeff Timmons’ brother. He’s camped out in a field by himself and gets a letter from Daisy Jane (who is engaged to Billy), and in the note, she encourages him to “put the past behind them”. Did Jack and Billy have a falling out? Did Jack and Daisy Jane have a romantic past? These are the things I’m willing to explore.
“This is a big ass door” Vaquero, while walking through a big ass door.
Comment: Joey Fatone is hilarious
Honestly. He keeps mispronouncing Vaquero as Vacaro (like Brenda Vaccaro, which is a totally relevant reference) and it’s v entertaining to me. He also says, “There’s a bunch of chopped up copperheads (zombies) and they’re… muy muerto.” Spin-off with Joey and AJ. Except no zombies. Or as a Western. So, like a normal movie.
Question: What happened to Everclear?
This is Art Alexakis. He was in Everclear. Now he’s in this movie.
Concern: A kid is going to die
“I’ve gotta check on my foster kid, Georgie.” Jon Secada is the maybe only sheriff/cop in town, and earlier, AJ/Vermillion/Apocolypta’s right hand man, was talking to some kid after breaking out of jail. I am concerned for his safety now. Also, his foster kid?? Update: Foster kid is a zombie. So is Jon Secada. Great.
Question: What does Ikaika Kahoano think of all this?
Sure, Ashley Parker Angel wants nothing to do with O-Town anymore, but Making the Band fans know Dan Miller actually replaced the originally chosen singer Ikaika, who left because he felt like O-Town wasn’t a good fit for him. Then he went and started his own boy band who had a semi-hit with Hey Juliet and disappeared into the Hawaiian night. Does he wish he could’ve been a bartender then have his flesh chewed out by zombies like Dan? Probs not.
“Everybody’s gonna die some day.” – Jack
Comment: Komodo’s girlfriend is no bueno
Komodo meets Trixie at a bar and she hasn’t left his side since. He’s trying to kill zombies and she’s just there. That is annoying enough, but this girl is like every hot girl in horror movies who looks great running away from a murderer, but the acting skills are just not there. And you know what I found out? The actress, Chloe Lattanzi, is the daughter of Olivia Newton-John. Yes, Sandy herself. Do with that information what you will.
Question: Nepotism?
7 of 7 is Sirene, a machete wielding amazong played by Lauren Kitt Carter, wife of Nick Carter. Nick Carter – star, executive producer, writer of the story. So she’s not the greatest actress, but bless.
Question: What happened to Shifty Shellshock?
My, my a Starry Eyed Surprise – to see Shifty Shellshock in a movie with members of ‘N Sync and BSB.
Concern: There’s just blatant racism now
Whiskey Joe yells to Vacquero, “We’re in America we speak American!” Which, I get is a joke, but felt weird to me. To make matters worse, Howie’s Spanish is 6th grade Spanish and an accent that’s fit for Speedy Gonzales.
Comment: I forgot about the other half of O-Town
I failed to mention Jacob Underwood and Trevor Penick are also in this film, and while Jacob spends most of his short time on screen driving a pick-up truck, I honestly don’t even remember seeing Trevor at all. And he’s my fave O-Towner.
If you were bored by the blood and the zombies, don’t worry, because they’ve thrown in a random brothel to spice things up. And Frenchie Davis of American Idol Season 2 (disqualified bc porn) fame is the madam there. Komodo’s GF Trixie lives here, because she gave him directions but failed to mention she’s a prostitute. He brings along Whiskey Joe and Vaquero, who are being THE BIGGEST CREEPS AND EYING DOWN THE LADIES OH MY GOD THERE IS STRAIGHT UP SIMULATED SEX HERE I HATE IT. Oh bye Howard. He’s dead.
Question: Why?
ARE YOU KIDDING ME Whiskey Joe plays a few notes of Amazing Grace on his harmonica before killing Howie and letting him out of his misery after a zombie prostitute bit him. Like what even was that sentence I just typed.
Concern: I’m still attracted to AJ
He is literally knifing Daisy Jane and Billy is crying because his girl is dead and AJ mocks his tears and it is equally hilarious and hot.
Comment: Just… a lot of blood
So much blood.
“I can’ play rough You’re my kind of bitch” AJ what are you saying
Question: What happened with Billy and Jack?
Billy’s dying and Jack is by his side and crying over his death, but I still don’t get why they had a tense relationship? These characters need to be *fleshed* out better, said no one except me about a SyFy channel movie.
Comment: THIS.
LOL AJ’S HEAD IS LITERALLY ROLLING AFTER KOMODO USES TWO SWORDS TO SLICE IT OFF.
Comment: AND THIS.
LOL ERIK USING A LEG FOR PROTECTION
Question: When zombies die, don’t they come back to life?
Legit question.
Comment: I am mourning the loss of Whiskey Joe
Whiskey Joey hints earlier that if he ever gets bit by a zombie, he has a separate “blood flask” that’s connected to a bomb lining his coat so when he turns into a zombie he’ll know to detonate it and kill himself. This happens for real and his intestines hang out. I cannot.
“They’re everywhere and I’m running out of whiskey.” Whiskey Joe keeping it real
Comment: Komodo let love ruin his life
Trixie get bit by a zombie, and in mourning, Komodo cradles her in his arms, then kisses her one last time – except she bites him. Like, come on. So he has to kill her they only way he knows how, by jabbing a knife into her skull. Then he kills himself in a Romeo + Juliet situation, thus becoming our tragic lovers.
Question: I still don’t get this movie?
Honestly where is this going, what’s the moral of the story here?
Comment: Baby Baylee appears
Jack/Nick gets bitten by a baby zombie that legit looks like Brian Littrell’s son Baylee when he was a tot, and I can’t unsee it. Luckily, Sirene saves the day.
Comment: The song makes so much more sense now
The original song made by the stars (mainly Nick and AJ) called In The End, is played in the beginning and, surprise surprise at the end of the movie, and it totally resonates so much more because of the journey I just went on.
No one’s left to take me home/Nothing’s left just a dream/Don’t look back nothing’s gonna save us
Comment: Apocolypta is dead
I forgot to mention that. Pretty much everyone dies except Sirene. Which apparently is a relief to some, including Jack, who tells us in the voiceover that he ” has a chance to rest finally rest in death.”
If you’re wondering where Harry Styles has been since One Direction began their indefinite hiatus in December, he’s been (maybe) dating Kendall Jenner, tweeting about burgers and moved to Hollywood in an attempt to start an acting career. Luckily for him and for all of us, he is kicking it off with a legit movie. Harry recently got cast in Christopher Nolan’s World War II action thriller called Dunkirk, which is about “the British military evacuation of the French city of Dunkirk in 1940.” It also stars no-names like Tom Hardy, Sir Kenneth Branagh and recent Oscar winner Mark Rylance, so, NBD. There hasn’t been much detail on what Harry’s role is, but I’m assuming it’s a soldier of some sort, and he could either be on the same level of Matt Damon in Saving Private Ryan or Jimmy Fallon in Band of Brothers. EXACTLY.
But obviously this is nothing new. Harry isn’t the first boy band hunk to break into acting. There have been many in our generation alone, so let’s revisit some of their great and no so greatest hits in film and TV.
Justin Timberlake {‘N Sync}
Arguably one of the best boy band alums to have the most success as an actor, JT has won four Emmys, been nominated for a Golden Globe, a Screen Actors Guild Award, and in a movie that was nominated for 8 Oscars (The Love Guru haha jk). Among my personal faves are Inside Llewyn Davis and his first big TV movie in DCOM Model Behavior (<-that is the full version!), as seen above. Classic, just a classic. But we all know he excels the most in comedy, thanks to every single one of his Saturday Night Live episodes. Remember when he hosted for the first time and you were like, ‘Oh shit. He’s really funny and talented and a natural’? It was magic. Even Lorne Michaels has said he would hire JT if being a comedian was his number one priority. I wouldn’t be mad at that.
Jesse McCartney {Dream Street}
Technically Jesse began acting before he was in Dream Street since he was in All My Children, earning those young actor trophies soap opera awards shows are wont to dole out. But he became a teen idol with one-hit wonder Dream Street and the huge, mega popular, number one song all around the world, It Happens Everytime. Jesse was smart by using the group as a platform for solo work and it’s the reason we’ve been #Blessed with songs like Leavin’ and Bleeding Love. Anyways, he’s consistently worked on either music or acting ever since, starring in shows like Greek, Army Wives, Young & Hungry and of course, a “Fresh New Summerland” with future hunkasaurus Zac Efron. In full disclosure, I am a legit Jesse McCartney fan – like the kind that has paid money to meet and greet him fan. As a result of this, I have voluntarily seen a handful of movie’s he’s been in JUST because he’s in it. Like teen drama Keith and Lifetime original movie Expecting Amish, which was so ridiculous and good as any Lifetime movie usually is that I’m surprised I didn’t write a live blog about it. But you know where he’s really getting the cash money from? All FOUR of the Alvin and the Chipmunks movies.
Nick Lachey {98 Degrees}
After 98 Degrees, Nick mainly transitioned into a successful TV host, serving as the emcee for shows like The Sing-Off, Big Morning Buzz Live and The Winner Is, and if we’re not counting acting on Newlyweds: Nick & Jessica, he’s also appeared on Charmed, One Tree Hill, and Hawaii Five-O. Least we forget his unforgettable film, Rise: Blood Hunter, a horror film starring Lucy Liu, Matt Saracen, Marilyn Manson and Tawny from Even Stevens. Yeah.
Joey McIntyre {New Kids on the Block}
If there’s any boy band who has a high ratio of successful actors, it’s New Kids on the Block. Joey’s done TV (Boston Public, The McCarthys), film (The Heat), and theatre (Wicked, The Fantasticks). He’s obviously typecast as a dudeked from Boston with a super thick accent, but hey, don’t fix what ain’t broke, yanno?
Donnie Wahlberg {New Kids on the Block}
Let’s face it, Donnie Wahlberg is a more successful actor than Justin Timberlake. He may have been doing it longer, but he’s also had steady acting jobs and won acclaim for his roles over the years. He’s been on a steady CBS drama, Blue Bloods, for the past six seasons, and also starred in Boomtown and Band of Brothers. Not to mention his movie roles in Saw II through IV, and of course, The Sixth Sense, a role which I think collectively blew every viewer’s mind after realizing the dude in the bathroom was the bad boy in NKOTB. PS: the clip above is horribly dubbed en espanol but it is still so good.
Joey Fatone {‘N Sync}
As a Backstreet Boys fan, I was allergic to anything ‘N Sync. But I guess one day I decided to screw it and watch On the Line, a romantic comedy featuring Lance Bass and Joey Fatone and I genuinely loved the movie a lot. It was a classic 1990s teen romcom that most people probably thought sucked, which is why I loved it. Then Joey showed off his comedic chops in My Big Fat Greek Wedding (and the sequel) and perhaps we all realized he was much better as a funny TV personality and comedic actor than a boy band heartthrob. Speaking of which, he, along with fellow 90s boy banders Nick Carter, AJ McLean, Howie Dorough, Chris Kirkpatrick, most of O-Town and more are starring in a zombie western, Dead 7, which premieres on SyFy on Friday. Guys. I hate zombies. I hate westerns, but I am HERE for my boys. And I will be presenting a full recap on Monday.
Were you one of the millions of people who saw Batman v Superman: Dawn of Justice over the weekend? Were you also one of the millions of people who didn’t like it that much (I didn’t see it, I have no idea if it’s good or not)? Or were you one of the millions who read the early negative reviews and decided to go anyways, because SUPERHERO MOVIE?? Well despite the criticism (and 29% on Rotten Tomatoes), it managed to get over $424 million in the global box office, so it’s technically a success for everyone involved in the movie.
However, in a recent interview with Yahoo! before the movie came out, Ben Affleck and Henry Cavill were forced to endure a reporter reading them bad reviews of the film, and judging by Ben’s face, he didn’t take it lightly.
In full disclosure, I couldn’t get myself to watch the video because I cannot handle second-hand embarrassment. What I can handle and relish in is a good meme. Because we live in a *what a time to be alive* era, the Internet people naturally decided to take Ben’s sad face and turn it into memes for all to enjoy (much like Sad Keanu before him). While I don’t necessarily enjoy seeing Ben Affleck sad, it’s fine knowing he’s rolling in the $$$ and there are worse things in life than getting bad reviews on a movie in which you play Batman. Here are some of the best Sad Ben Affleck memes the Interwebs have to offer.
Hello darkness, my old friend
Don’t worry bro, Green Latern got 26% on Rotten Tomatoes
It’s time for another live TV production for everyone on the Internet to comment on! We’ve previously covered The Sound of Music, Peter Pan, The Wiz, Grease: Live! and now we’re giving our thoughts on everyone’s favorite musical, The Passion. Although it’s technically not a musical, but more of a story with music.
What even is The Passion? It’s basically the story of the final days of Jesus’ life. This passion play has been done for years around the world, but this specific show is derived from a British TV production, where celebrities paraphrase certain Bible passages which tell the story of Easter, and in between, they sing live performances of pop songs relevant to the story. Meanwhile, a group of people carry a huge cross towards the main stage in the center square where all the action takes place.
The Passion has been huge in The Netherlands over the past few years, and each year it takes place in a different city. In the American version, Tyler Perry’s The Passion took place in New Orleans on Sunday, which was Palm Sunday aka the Sunday before Easter. Whether you’re a believer or not, there’s still a lot to talk about regarding the actual show, so here are some questions, comments, and concerns that came up while watching this musical event for the first time.
Question: What is this stage?
It looks like it could double as Justin Bieber’s latest tour stage.
Concern: This is not a play
Apparently this show is more of a presentation than a theatrical play. I thought it was more along the lines of telling the Easter story with music, but according to Tyler Perry, it’s not. He is the emcee/host/storyteller/narrator of this show, and I also didn’t realize he was going to be doing an opening monologue and continuously explain what’s happening or what’s about to happen. He starts on the Bieber stage in the middle of New Orleans’ Woldenberg Park, and at one point, he’s trying to get through his speech but people start cheering and he pauses to let them continue cheering. It’s… weird? He also says, “…As New Orleans becomes our Jersusalem” there are more cheers from the crowd, who are v excited to see their city turned into the big JC’s hometown.
Comment: Yolanda Adams is serving Jesus chic in this dress
Gospel singer Yolanda Adams sings the first song of the night, When Love Takes Over, originally by David Guetta and Kelly Rowland. I guess it works.
Comment: I’m thrown by the pre-taped packages
Tyler Perry throws to the huge video screens which show Jesus (Jencarlos Canela) rolling with his crew aka the disciples featuring Prince Royce (Peter), Chris Daughtry (Judas) and Christian singer Michael W. Smith (misc. disciple) singing Celine Dion’s Love Can Move Mountains. They’re initially on a famous New Orleans trolley and make their way to some large park and it’s clear this was one of the pre-taped segments for the show. I’m still trying to get my head wrapped around what’s happening. Like there are these folks on the trolley who I think are acting as if Jencarlos is Jesus, but the folks near Tyler Perry are regular audience members. So I guess the Bieber stage is present day and everywhere else is “Jerusalem”? Does it even matter that I have to delineate which one is which?
Question: Is Tyler Perry going to keep telling us what’s about to happen?
Is it necessary to give a character breakdown of all the people in this show? Tyler Perry gives a brief description of the main players in JC’s crucifixion story, but I feel like we can figure it out? But I guess if no one’s saying lines describing what happened in makes sense? And I get that if people are tuning in and not familiar with the Bible/this story and have no idea who the “characters” involved in this story are, you have to explain it… but why are they watching anyways?
Comment: I see you Pontious Pilate
You talkin’ to no one, Seal.
Comment: Tricia Yearwood is still a solid singer
Trisha is playing the role of JC’s mom Mary. By “playing” I mean Tyler Perry tells me she’s Mary and Trisha sings a song describing how Mary felt towards her son Jesus. On the bright side, I will say it’s hard to cover a Whitney song and be good at it but Trisha’s doing My Love Is Your Love justice.
Concern: All of the disciples’ scenes are possibly pre-taped
We cut to JC and his disciples in a coffee shop and JC is all, ‘Yo Peter, you gonna be the main man to build this whole Christianity thang’ and Peter’s all… ‘Imma dip out byeeeeee’.
Comment: This is giving me Left Behind vibes
Right now, I feel like I’m watching a Christian movie and Kirk Cameron is going to pop up at any second.
Concern: Jesus is… offputting
Is it horrible that I do not care for the way Jencarlos is playing Jesus right now? It feels forced and he has a hint of cockiness to how he’s playing it, and I don’t like it one bit.
Comment: Cross bearers are part of a glorified news report
Throughout the show, a giant illuminated cross is being carried through the city with more and more people joining the group as they go along the route. Joining them is Nischelle Turner, who is a reporter on Entertainment Tonight – I only know this because I have to watch ET every day but they didn’t mention it during the show. She’s basically like the man on the ground with the cross bearers and talking with some of them as they go. So that’s a thing we didn’t see in Grease: Live!
Comment: “Celebrity” cameos are happening
Jesus goes up to a food truck and asks for loaves and fishes (see: parable). Top Chef alum and The Chew host Carla Hall works on the Fish & Bread (???) truck and happily gives it to him, but did we need a cameo from a familiar face in this?
Comment: No one likes Creed
this is a real angelfire site
Jesus is singing Creed’s With Arms Wide Open during The Last Supper but I think JC would still be on the side of most people by saying Creed isn’t the best.
Concern: Time is going slowly
Trisha Yearwood is currently singing contemporary pop hit Hands by Jewel and legit I feel like I’ve been watching this for 2 hours but it’s only been 30 minutes.
Comment: The cross just went down Bourbon Street
The illuminated cross was brought down New Orleans’ famous Bourbon Street, which if you don’t know is home to a bunch of bars and a lot of Mardi Gras celebrations. So that’s a first. Nischelle interviewed a man who is in the military and also a woman whose teenage son was killed due to violence, so in addition to the Christian story they’re telling, they’re also incorporating social issues. Tyler Perry made a few (horrible) jokes too. I’m just so confused as to what this whole thing is.
Question: Why is Judas singing Evanescence in an empty factory
Judas is having some internal struggles while he battles betraying Jesus, so he decides to since Bring Me To Life by Evanescence in a dark, empty, creepy factory building. I find it impressive yet unnerving due to the location, but Tyler Perry has a different response, saying of the (pre-taped) scene, “Wow, I believe he’s in turmoil.”
Comment: The audience is feelin it
A lot of the audience members are really feeling the show and are getting emotional. It looks like it could be a scene from Jesus Camp. But then there are some who are the folks who constantly are aware they’re on TV and wave every chance they get.
Comment: Jesus Christ: The Unauthorized Musical
I just realized the best way to describe this show – an unauthorized musical about the final days of Jesus’ life. Remember how a couple of producers in LA have made the Unauthorized Cruel Intentions musical and the Unauthorized The O.C. musical (which I pitched songs for) and the upcoming Unauthorized Friday Night Lights musical? This is what that is. Retelling a story with the characters singing “modern” pop songs is exactly what The Passion is and I wish I truly understood that before I watched this.
Question: Why is it taking so long for Judas to kiss Jesus
Honestly, there’s no time for singing. He needs to betray him immediately. I will say that this is a powerful scene with the police taking Jesus away while the other disciples fight back and an eerie reminder this is what’s happening in America and not just fictionalized Jerusalem.
Comment: Lil Wayne tho
This commercial featuring Lil Wayne just aired and I am dying. He’s actually really funny! And maybe the most entertaining part of this show!
Question: Where is Hoobastank?
Because they’re still getting royalties off The Reason 12 years later and honestly, good for them. But was I missing Hoobastank in my life? No.
Concern: How heavy is this cross tho?
I know a bunch of folks are carrying the cross and the weight is distributed evenly, but still, it can’t be easy to carry a large illuminated cross for 2 miles.
Comment: A real musical in a faux musical
Trisha’s singing You’ll Never Walk Alone from Carousel and I’d honestly rather watch Carousel right now.
Comment: Seal as Pontius Pilate
Jesus is in custody and brought to the Bieber stage for the first time since the show started an hour and a half ago. Seal also shows up as Pontius Pilate and I’ve always thought that if Seal played a villain it wouldn’t be a stretch. Also, they’re singing a song I’ve never heard before called We Don’t Need Another Hero, which is apparently by Tina Turner for Mad Max Beyond Thunderdome.
Comment: I think I’m biased against Seal
Remember last week when I said Kiss From a Rose was overplayed and I ended up hating it because of its heavy rotation? I think that has made me subconsciously dislike Seal and throughout his entire rendition of Mad World, I tuned out.
Question: Is Lifehouse a Christian band?
Trisha Yearwood is singing Lifehouse’s Broken, which is not only a song I’ve never heard of but, seamlessly fits as a song Mary sings as she says goodbye to her son. It’s such a good match that I’m wondering if Lifehouse made a foray into Christian music.
Comment: Tyler Perry has confidence
The way pastor Tyler Perry is talking and saying how “amazing” the show is makes it seem like he’s overly confident like he is well aware all of America is watching and tweeting about this show right now. Update: 6.61 million people tuned in to see The Passion, which is way down from when Fox did Grease: Live in January. To put it in perspective, more people watched Steve Harvey’s new kid talent show Little Big Shots than The Passion.
Question: Is Jesus about to pull a Michael Scott?
After the crucifixion (that Tyler Perry described to us instead of it being acted out), Jesus rises from the dead and Jencarlos shows up on the roof of a building overlooking the Bieber stage and the reveal of his location is legit like Michael Scott going on roof of Dunder Mifflin and threatening to jump. Also, it’s really windy which is a bit concerning.
Comment: I guess that was ok
I think the main problem is that although I knew what the idea of the show was, I still thought it was going to be more like Godspell or Jesus Christ Superstar. Not to say it was horrible. You know who probably really liked this show? My parents. My parents who are super in the big JC and are probably talking about it like we talk about the last episode of Scandal. So, glad they finally have a TV program to chat about.
It’s hard to believe with some people walking through snow today, but yesterday was the first day of spring! And what better way to welcome the vernal equinox than by getting rid of all the clutter in your life for some spring cleaning? Here’s a guide I wrote a couple of years ago, but it still rings true until today. Start your spring off right and make your life more simple and stress free!
Happy first day of spring, y’all! The sun shows its face a little longer (12 hours to be exact), the weather (usually) gets warmer and we can finally put the nasty winter behind us. The coming of spring is also a time for rebirth and regrowth, a marker for us to start anew. And that includes getting rid of anything in our lives that feels old or unused – aka it’s spring cleaning time.
I’m not talking about doing a thorough sweep of your house/apartment and getting rid of old items in your pantry or clothes that you haven’t worn in a year (although you should probs do that too). No, I’m talking about cleaning up your life. Things that effect you every day that you keep putting off but know you should do something about. Here are a few suggestions for making your life a little less messy and a little more bearable than ever before.
DVR
I am probably not the best example for this, but I’m hoping this will help some of you out there. The problem with television today is that there are too many good shows on right now. That means there are probably a lot of shows on your list that you have to go through every week. I’m not even going to tell you how many shows I actively watch, because it’s stupidly embarrassing. But there are also shows that are on my list that I just watch out of habit, that I should probably just delete from my DVR because it’s not adding anything to my life. Example: Heart of Dixie. Why did I start watching it? Jason Street and Summer Roberts (Scott Porter and Rachel Bilson). Why am I still watching it? No idea. I put it on and I only half pay attention to what is happening. If you asked me what’s going on this season, I could tell you that Zoe is still dating that Jewish boyfriend from NY and not with Wade, and Jamie King’s character is MIA because she had a baby IRL. Case in point: it’s time to clean out my series recordings.
Hard Drive
Is your computer running slow? Maybe it’s because you have too many extemporaneous files and pictures and songs your never listen to stored in the nooks and crannies of your hard drive. It’s time to clean up those cookies and get rid of those songs you downloaded in college just to create some kind of party mix, because honestly, are you listening to SHOTS SHOTS SHOTS SHOTS SHOTS on the daily while relaxing or browsing the internet?
E-mail Subscriptions
I admit it: I’m the worst at e-mails. Replying, sending, deleting from my inbox. I also sign up for things and forget how I signed up in the first place. Like all those Groupon/LivingSocial/OneSaleADay shit is too much. Literally ‘Ain’t Nobody Got Time For That’. I went to the Tribeca Film Festival once in 2005 and I am still on their mailing list. Unless they’re going to personally fly me out to New York, I’m probably never going again. So why am I still receiving their e-mails?? BECAUSE I’M LAZY AND DELETE THEM INSTEAD OF JUST UNSUBSCRIBING.
Facebook Friends
You know when you’re going through your Facebook feed and you say “UGH” outloud when you see someone’s status of “going to the gym” or 500 pictures of the same baby just in different angles or those people who make politically incorrect and/or slightly racist comments on your wall? Yeah, time to go through your list and unfriend those folks. You’re not in college anymore where the whole goal of Facebook was to be friends with every single person you had a class with. Use Facebook to stay connected with the people you actually care about. Maybe you’ll even find yourself complaining less about Facebook in general.
Actual Friends
Let’s be real. There are people in your life that you should just cut off. If there’s anything I’ve learned being in my “late 20s” it’s that I don’t have patience or time to deal with people that don’t add to my life in any way. They might be the type of friends that add more drama to your life than is necessary as an adult or perhaps they are the type that are just… there, but either way, why are you wasting your time on people who aren’t a positive influence in your life when you could be hanging out with those who enrich your entire being? It may seem harsh, but you gonna do what you gotta do.
Howdy, y’all! If you’re currently in Austin, Texas you’re either loving South By Southwest or completely hating every single second of the week-long event. If you’re an SXSWInteractive person, congrats nerds, you made it through the whole thing. If you’re a SXSWFilm person, I’m sure you’ll get a chance to talk to Robert Rodriguez at the next secret industry party on 6th street. If you’re a SXSWMusic person, remember Uber isn’t going to be easy to take home after the outdoor stage concerts.
But if you’re in Austin and have some extra time before or after all your activities, and can easily answer the question: “What Friday Night Lights season two plot line do all fans consider to never have happened?”, then may I suggest taking this tour.
In 2013, I went to Austin for the first time and loved it. I didn’t go for SXSW, but rather the ATX Television Festival, which I’ve since gone to three times, including last year, when both of us went and lived in a weird dream world of Dillon, Texas and Stars Hollow, Connecticut combined.
FNL was shot entirely in Austin, which is why the series has that true Texas feel, despite Austin not being a small town. Luckily for you Panthers/East Dillon Lions fans out there, there are still a number of real filming locations available to visit and snap a picture in front of. So have fun SXSW-ers, and remember if you’re stuck in the middle of a mosh pit and need to go to the bathroom during Coheed and Cambria’s set – Clear Eyes, Full Bladders Hearts, Can’t Pee Lose.
Howdy y’all! I recently went to Austin, Texas for a brief weekend getaway, for a few reasons. One: I always wanted to go to Austin, since I heard it was the most un-Texas Texas city in the state. During my road trip across the country in 2009, Austin was on the list of possible cities to go, but we due to time constraints (and the fact we wanted to not drive across desert for another 10 hours), we opted to skip Austin, and I’ve put the city on the top of my bucket list ever since. Two: I attended the ATX Television Festival, which is a new festival for TV fans and those who want to break into the industry, and it was full of screenings, panels, and reunions from fave shows. You may have heard about the Boy Meets World bonanza, and I also attended the American Dreams and Party of Five reunions, and sat in on Parenthood and Veronica Mars panels! Not to mention Friday Night Lights. Which brings me to reason three: Friday Night Lights. The show was set in the fictional town of Dillion, Texas, but was shot entirely in Austin. Ever since I marathoned (and obsessed over) the series in 2010, I made it my goal to go to Austin and find all the filming locations.
So, if you’re a superfan stalker like me, and find yourself in Austin, here’s a guide to Dillon by way of Austin.
The Taylor House
6805 De Paul Cove, Austin TX 78723
The house were the greatest TV couple/parents lived. They should make this place a national landmark. PS: The Taylor, Riggins, and Alamo Freeze are all close to each other, so you can do it all in one fell swoop!
The Riggins House
2604 Lehigh Dr. Austin, TX 78723
No sign of Riggs 😦
Alamo Freeze
5900 Manor Rd. Austin, TX 78723
Fun fact: the Alamo Freeze is actually a Dairy Queen. So you can reenact Matt’s proposal to Julie and then grab an oreo blizzard.
Saracen House
3009 Kuhlman Ave. Austin, TX 78702
Grandma Saracen and her tiara not included.
Del Valle Field
2404 Shapard Lane, Del Valle, TX
Panther Fieldhouse still in tact!
The Panthers side
And the other side of the field was the Lions side!
The FNL fieldhouse is still in tact and on a random street near the Austin airport. The only thing still up and running nearby are a few trailers – like trailer park trailers. But you could clearly see the football field and the stands, which is pretty cool. The area was actually used for two ‘sets’, with the Panthers on the left, and when East Dillion needed a field, they built the Lions homefield on the other side of the Panthers’ bleachers!
Here’s me and my friend Suz hanging with Riggins at the fieldhouse…
PS: I didn’t just come up with these locations, it’s easily found on the internet – including here!!!
And to round out my tour of FNL filming locations, the ATX Festival also had a couple of FNL events, including an outdoor screening of State (Season 1 finale) and a panel with the cast! The screening, which appropriately took place on Friday night, was great because a lot of the cast members were there to meet with fans and introduce the ep. I got to meet most of them, and I still can’t believe it happened!
I apologized to Matt Lauria for wearing the wrong shirt, and he said, “Wrong side of the tracks, babe.” DEAD.
Smash and Tinker sandwich!
Jason Street said, “Sorry for my back sweat,” then proceeded to show me the back of his shirt. HAHAHA #deadagain
Grandma Saracen told me to go under the VIP rope to take this pic with her!
Grams and Buddy Garrity having a laugh
Grandma Saracen then offered this personal signed picture of herself with the boys. Bless.
AND THEN, the next morning was the FNL panel, where we were surprised by a couple guests:
COACH AND MRS. COACH, Y’ALL!!!!!! I think I may have started crying.Who knows. But you can always bet on me crying. I shared the same air as the greatest couple ever.
Thanks for the great time, Austin/Dillon! See y’all next time!
Hi team. Last year, I wrote about making a 30 Before 30 bucket list, which was comprised of a whole bunch of goals, activities, etc. I wanted to do before I turned 30. Well, I turned 30 in January, and I’m proud to report I checked off 22 out of 30 items on my list! Not too bad, and to be honest, I’m not even upset I didn’t finish them all. By even making the list in the first place, it forced me to do things I don’t think I would have otherwise, so getting any of them done is an accomplishment in itself.
In my post from last year, I highlighted some of the tasks on the 30 Before 30 list, so I’m revisiting them and seeing how I did. Obviously, I don’t have all 30 of them listed, but just imagine they’re all here.
Learn to make 3 new dishes
2015: When I cook dinner, it’s not really anything special. The less ingredients the better. I blame this on account of my frugality and laziness, but I’m hoping to change that (the laziness, at least I can control). I figure if I master at least 3 good dishes, it can be my go to for parties and what not. Sushi is probs my favorite food, so another one of the things on my list is learn how to make sushi. And conveniently, I would also like to have a dinner party, so all this just fits right together.
Status: Accomplished! While sushi making was fun and I didn’t die from eating the raw fish, I think I’ll leave it to the professional sushi chefs to provide me with much better rolls.
sushi!
avocado stuffed caprese salad
ricotta lemon pancakes and omlette bites
Go somewhere I’ve never gone before
2015: If I won the lottery today, I would use it to pay off all my debts, do some other things with it, and then travel. Anywhere my heart desires – possibly even in first class! Living in LA, you kind of get stuck in the… LA-ness of it, and it’s good for your sanity to get out every once in a while. I usually spend my vacation time in the same places, mainly back home on the east coast. But there are so many other places to go that won’t break the bank. Although I said I would start this thing on my birthday, I’ve cheated on a few things already, this being one of them. A few of my friends and I recently went up to Napa Valley for a brief, yet completely successful and fulfilling weekend, and it was glorious. It was my first time in that area, and let me tell you – Napa is everything it’s cracked up to be, folks.
Status: Accomplished! I went to multiple new places in 2015, including the Temecula wine country and Grand Cayman Island and Castaway Cay (thanks to a cruise I went on). However, I tripled up on a trip by driving down to La Jolla, about two hours south of LA. The city is right on the edge of the Pacific and is exactly what you picture when you think picturesque California coast. Also, they’re known for seals, as seen below. They had cute stores and great food and highly recommend – 10/10.
Travel somewhere by myself
2015: Speaking of which, I feel all Eat Pray Love/Wild about this, in that going on a trip by yourself is necessary in life. I’m an only child and independent by nature, so the thought of this doesn’t sound scary or intimidating, as I imagine it would be to some people. This sounds delightful to me and I have yet to figure out where said trip will be.
Status: Accomplished! Like I said, I tripled up on La Jolla by going solo bolo to a pimp ass resort called Estancia La Jolla Hotel & Spa. I got free champagne when I arrived, had a huge bed to myself, a bathroom with marble floors and a complimentary bottle of wine. Again, highly recommend – 10/10.
Get a massage
2015: I’m gonna be real with y’all – I don’t necessarily find it appealing when complete strangers touch me, especially if I’m half naked. Is that completely unreasonable? But I’m going to try to let that go in favor of comfort and relaxation.
Status: Accomplished. And my gut was right. The final triple threat of that La Jolla trip was getting a massage at the resort. While it was luxurious and I got free cucumber water, I don’t think I would ever do it again. I didn’t feel as relaxed as I thought it was going to be, and that’s all my fault, not the fault of my masseuse, who was lovely. I didn’t take a pic of that, so here’s the view I had while sitting near the saltwater whirlpool and reading a Dawson’s Creek novel at the spa.
Volunteer 20 hours
2015: I used to volunteer a lot growing up. Forgetting the fact that in high school a lot of it was required, I actually enjoyed volunteering, and did it throughout college. For a while there I even wanted to work for a non-profit. I really want to get back into it, and I’ve had some attempts in the past couple of years, but I’m actually making a goal of 20 hours to fill, which is really not even that much.
Status: Big Fail. This was one of the items I was most bummed about not accomplishing. I wanted to find one organization that I cared deeply about, then exclusively volunteer for them, but I just kept putting it off. It’s still on my list!
Go see at least 5 movies in the theater
2015: I am a TV person. I watch all the TV. And like I mentioned earlier, I am a frugal person. Unless it’s a movie I really want to see in the theater, I will wait until it comes to Netflix and I receive it as part of my subscription. However, working in entertainment news, it’s usually helpful to know what I’m writing about, and not just basic facts about them. I’m not gonna lie to you – I already have my first movie lined up. And it’s the Backstreet Boys documentary, which comes out on Friday.
Status: Accomplished! I ended up seeing MORE than 5 movies!!! Ironically the BSB movie I ended up buying on iTunes it was released in the theater, so I cried in the privacy of my own bedroom. The other films include but are not limited to: The Last Five Years, Spy, Inside Out, Magic Mike XXL and Trainwreck. All movies that were A+++
Watch 5 “classic” movies
2015: To go along with that, I’ve written about my Pop Culture Blind Spots before, and I’m going to make an effort to actually sit down and watch some of them. We’ll start with the black and white classics… Star Wars will have to wait.
Status: Accomplished! Again, I was an overachiever on this one and did way more than five, some which which I did as a Pop Culture Blind Spot for this very blog (Star Wars or Dirty Dancing, anyone?). Some other faves include Bridget Jones’ Diary, Top Gun and Back to the Future.
Donate clothes I haven’t worn in a year
2015: I have been meaning to do this for years, and now’s a better time than any to actually follow through. Part of this involves re-organizing my closet, which I’ve already done and am super excited about. But this whole – I’m saving this just in case I need it for a Halloween costume – thing, isn’t working.
Status: Accomplished! And I’ve donated twice!
Read 3 new books
2015: Again, I am a TV person. I watch all the TV. Thus leaving me with little time to sit and read. Hell, I barely have time to catch up on my Entertainment Weekly issues. As for reading actual books, I find that I read the most when I’m traveling, since there’s nothing else to do. I used to read all the time when I rode the subway in Boston, but now, I have to like pay attention to the road when I’m driving and stuff. Also, I have a tendency to just re-read books – I don’t need to read Harry Potter again (I mean I could and should, but I shan’t). But I’ve set a realistic goal for myself and hopefully I can finish three new books by 2016.
Status: Accomplished! Luckily, I know myself well enough that a total of three was risky, but I read FOUR! Not That Kind of Girl by Lena Dunham, Dawson’s Creek: A Capeside Christmas (that novel I was reading in La Jolla) and two books by fellow Emerson alum and one of my friend’s BFFs, Katie Cotugno, whose two YA books, How to Love and 99 Days, I devoured.
Go to 10 new restaurants
2015: Like my go-to books, I have go to restaurants, and it’s time to change that. I’ve been compiling a list of eateries in LA that I’ve been wanting to go to, and 10 seems like a reasonable number. I will just have to force my friends into going to all new venues.
Status: Accomplished! After I hit 15 I stopped counting, but one that is an LA staple that everyone needs to go to is Roscoe’s Chicken and Waffles. Ugh I dream about it still.
Explore 5 new places in LA
2015: LA’s a big city, and while I’ve lived here for just over five years now, there’s still plenty more to see. You get stuck living in the bubble of your home neighborhood and work neighborhood, and any little pockets that your frequent. I never make it down to the West side or like Venice (as seen above) or Santa Monica or anything over there, mainly because there’s no reason for me to. Sans Dunkin Donuts, of course. But it’s time I start taking advantage of what’s around me.
Status: Accomplished! I’m not a big sports fan but it was still exciting to go to my first Dodgers game with a real Dodgers fan who could explain pretty much everything to me. Plus I got a Dodger (hot) Dog which was as good as everyone says it is.
Clean out email
2015: I’m at 19% of 15 GB used on my Gmail, which I’ve had since 2006. That number may seem low, but you should see my inbox (don’t). It’s time I start cleaning shit out.
Status: Accomplished! Plus I have all the tabs now and the Gmail app on my phone, which I didn’t have before. God bless.
Pay for someone’s coffee 5 times
2015: Pay it forward. Be kind to one another. All that jazz.
Status: Fail to humans everywhere and to Ellen DeGeneres. Let’s be real, if anyone’s buying coffee, it’s for myself.
Take a photo or video each day
2015: This is not a new thing. I’m going to see if I can keep it up. Instead of posting it every day, I’ll hopefully keep it up and compile everything into a handy video/slideshow on my 30th.
Status: Accomplished! And I just finished putting it all together in one 13 minute long video! You’ve been warned.
He is literally knifing Daisy Jane and Billy is crying because his girl is dead and AJ mocks his tears and it is equally hilarious and hot.
Cookies + Sangria 