Author Archives: Traci

The Woman Who Wrote Sisters Is Your Favorite Person You’ve Never Heard Of

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We’ve written about our comedy deity numerous times on the blog before – the queens that are Tina Fey and Amy Poehler. Instead of writing about how much we adore and look up to these wonderfully smart, talented, confident women before their BLOCKBUSTER movie Sisters comes out on Friday (against Star Wars – #YouCanSeeBoth), let’s talk about the person who is responsible for bringing our First Ladies back together, the writer of Sisters, Paula Pell.

totally normal, casual photo

For comedy nerds, Paula and her impressive career shouldn’t be news to you. But for those who aren’t as geeked as us, here’s a brief intro to this hilarious human. Paula’s first big break was in the mecca itself, Saturday Night Live. She started as a writer in 1995 and continued working there until 2013, but she occasionally writes a few sketches here and there (and rumor has it she might be returning this weekend when Tina & Amy double up as hosts!). But more on SNL later.

Paula’s writing has spanned into her own webseries Hudson Valley Ballers, and she was hired by Judd Apatow to tweak, or “punch-up” the scripts for Bridesmaids and This Is 40. Plus she’s a great follow on Twitter.

On screen, you might remember her as Ron Swanson’s mom, Tammy Zero, on Parks and Rec:

or Pete Hornberger’s problematic wife Paul on 30 Rock:

But back to SNL. In her nearly 20 year tenure at the show, she wrote some of the most iconic sketches in the show’s history, and you’ve probably quoted her lines at least one point in your life.

Starting with the most recent, she returned for the SNL 40th Anniversary special, joining forces with longtime SNL writer/producer & Tonight Show announcer Steve Higgins and Jimmy Fallon and Justin Timberlake for the musical journey through SNL history in the cold open:

And Paula’s work was mentioned multiple times throughout that song, since he work is so prevalent in SNL history. Here are just some of the sketches she’s written throughout the years. If you like any of these, you’ll probably like Sisters too. #YouCanSeeThemBoth.

Bobbi and Marty Culp

I remember truly getting into SNL when I was in 6th grade, when the main players included folks like Will Ferrell, Tracy Morgan, Tim Meadows, Ana Gasteyer, Molly Shannon, etc. Needless to say, it was a solid time for the show. During this era was a sketch featuring The Culps, a husband and wife team of music teachers and frequent random school assembly performers. Their shtick was to cover “hip” pop tunes but still sing it in a ridiculous way, and still to this day, sketches like The Culps and a few below have special places in my heart that feel like a warm hug.

Spartan Cheerleaders

<<click here to see a classic Spartan cheerleader sketch!>>

Will Ferrell and Cheri Oteri’s over enthusiastic and under qualified Spartan cheerleaders are two of the most recognizable and beloved characters to come out of SNL, and Paula helped bring them to life. She and Will and Cheri would write all the sketches together, and Paula has even said their late-night sessions even led to Will taking off his shirt in delusion. Oh to be in those offices. For the genius in the making – not shirtless Will Ferrell. To be clear.

Debbie Downer

<<check out the epic Lindsay Lohan Debbie Downer sketch here!>>

Paula helped create possibly Rachel Dratch’s most memorable role as the depressing Debbie Downer who just could not catch a break. Years later, I feel like the term “Debbie Downer” is still used in regular vocabulary to describe anyone who is just downright miserable. Which I think is ironic, seeing as how Debbie Down only brings us joy to our lives. Plus, I will still watch that classic Lindsay Lohan episode every few months.

Omletteville

<<Watch Paula’s work in the sketch that helped JT become SNL royalty>>

In 2003, Justin Timberlake was coming off ‘N Sync and setting himself apart as a solo artist. But when he signed up to host SNL for the first time, he also had to prove his acting and comedic chops. Little did we know he blew us all away and went on to become a member of the prestigious Five-Timers host club. In that very first ep he hosted in ’03 when he knocked it out of the park, he did a sketch called Omeletteville, in which he dressed up as a giant omelette in order to promote a nearby breakfast restaurant. His rival? Chris Parnell, dressed as bacon and eggs and also keen on getting customers into his diner. The sketch was such a hit, that JT has gone back to do it five more times, including visits to Homlessville, Wrappinville, Veganville, Liquorville, and more.

Appalachian Emergency Room

 

<<The genius continues with this Christmas-related clip>>

Paula’s sketch featured the emergency room where redneck folks who got into redneck medical issues would go to be healed. I feel like this sketch was so odd and obscure and weird and off-kilter that it was brilliant.

Gilly

<<Click to watch SORRY! from Gilly & Paula!>>

Paula continued her streak of writing iconic characters for cast members with Gilly, A mischievous schoolgirl with an afro and questionable facial expressions played by Kristen Wiig. The initial unassumingness of Gilly, the use of repetition, and Kristen’s natural comedic talent make this such a great character, and Paula is the one to credit.

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Coveted 90s Christmas Toys

Posted in Miscellany by

It seems like everything from the 80s and 90s is getting a revival these days – from Full House to The X Files to Jem and the Holograms (although that didn’t go so well). There’s a rush of nostalgia going on right now, but it seems different to us millennials because it actually pertains to us. Instead of wearing 70s-inspired bell bottoms when we were in 7th grade, now we’re the ones who are rocking daisy print baby dolls dresses and jelly shoes. Yeah, I feel old too.

In addition to fashion and entertainment, kids’ toys also somehow make a comeback, with things like Easy-Bake Ovens (which are weirdly futuristic looking now) and Puppy Surprises reappearing. In fact, the Puppy Surprise, you know that stuffed animal that’s holding an unknown number of baby puppies in its velcro sack, made a return last year, and it was so popular that the company had to stop airing commercials because the demand was so high.

Easy-Bake Ovens and Puppy Surprises may have been coveted in the 90s for Christmas, but they’re just as coveted in 2015, too. To make you feel even older, here are a bunch of other toys from our childhood that I would’ve died for as a tot. Or maybe wouldn’t even be mad about seeing under the Christmas tree as an adult.

Talkboy/Talkgirl

We can all thank Home Alone 2: Lost in New York for this gem. The one Kevin McAllister uses was only a prop, but a letter-writing campaign by young fans begging for a real version to be made was launched, and a year after the movie came out, Tiger Electronics finally made a real one and it became one of the most wanted toys for Christmas. Not to brag or anything, but I totally had one. Not even the Talkgirl – the OG silver version. I wasn’t as cool as Kevin.

Sally Secrets Doll

I was one of those weird kids that loved those invisible ink books or having things that had secret compartments, so the Sally Secrets doll was a GD dream. In her shoes, there was a stamp and stamp pad, by pressing a button, stickers would come out of her belt. Genius. That’s why her body is so thick – it’s full of secrets.

Moon Shoes

Is the rise and popularity of NASA in the 90s a direct correlation to the necessity of Moon Shoe toys and grand prize winnings to go to Space Camp from Nickelodeon game shoes?

Tamagotchi

I’m not gonna lie to you guys. It’s the holidays. I not only had one Tamagotchi – I had two. AND a GigaPet. AND I held them all on this super cool, trendy, not nerdy at all red Brine lanyard. Honestly, how did I make it through my youth?

Talkback Dear Diary

Like the Tamagotchi and Talkboy, I’m starting to realize that the trend for 90s toys was primitive technology. The era was when we, as a world culture, were getting into things like the Internet and computers instead of typewriters. So when we upgraded from paper diaries to electronic diaries, it was a huge deal. And one that had a recording device on it? Forget it.

Teddy Ruxpin

Anyone can tell you that if you had a Teddy Ruxpin, you were one lucky kid. I feel like these talking bears were super expensive, and a lot of that had to do with the cassette tapes that came with it. Too many accessories. But did anyone else find him creepy? No? Just me?

Pogs

Story time: In 1995 (20 YEARS AGO HOLY CRAP), I spent my Christmas with my family in the Philippines for the first time ever. Like any nine year old, my memories of this vacation is fairly vague, with a few standout moments in my brain. One of them is opening presents my parents (or Santa?) brought with them from America for me to open in the Philippines. One of which was a Pog maker, as seen in the well-made commercial above. Looking back on it, I must have seemed like the spoiled American to all my cousins who were like, “What is this product? I got a shirt from Santa.” Like, what a douche.

Hit Clips

Here we are again with the primitive technology – except maybe Hit Clips were more of a Kidz Bop version of teens and their CDs. I had both the portable clip and the boom box, and only like 3 songs (2 BSB, 1 Britney) and if I’m remembering correctly, they didn’t even play the whole song? Or there was an option to only play a ‘clip’? IDK all I know is that it’s still in my bedroom at home, even though they don’t work anymore.

Sky Dancers

“Fly for me, just for me… Come to me, dance for me, Skydancers fly for me!” Why are these girls so demanding??

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You’ve Got A Lot To Live Up To, Saint

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If you’ve been keeping up with the Kardashians as of late, you know Kimye welcomed their second child over the weekend. And after two days of speculation of what baby boy’s name would be, Kim finally revealed their son’s name:

Naturally, anyone’s first reaction is of confusion.

Then the realization it’s legit:

and acceptance:

So I don’t know if it’s because I’ve been seeing it everywhere since Monday, but I think the name is actually growing on me? I had a similar reaction when they announced North West, but the winning point for me was that they would be calling her Nori, which is adorable. Saint, though? First of all, someone let ‘Ye pick the name. Second, what would his nickname be, if anything? Third, Saint is like, not a name. To be fair, *what even is a name anyways*??

However, to put things in perspective, Pete Wentz (Fall Out Boy rocker, ex-husband to Ashlee Simpson, father of son Bronx Mowgli) and his girlfriend had a son last year and named him Saint Lazslo, but the reaction was definitely not as fervent as it has been with Saint West. Kim and Kanye are an easy target, so unless they named their son Robert (after Kim’s late dad) as rumored, they would’ve gotten shit for anything they named him. But who even remembers the fact Pete Wentz named his son Saint a year ago? No one.

To also give Kim and Kanye more props, let’s be honest here – it could be worse. His name could’ve been Audio Science or Pilot Inspektor. Now those are REALLY not names in the slightest. With Saint, it implies a greatness to be achieved, whereas Audio Science, Shannyn Sossamon’s son, could be a major at MIT. There is of course a caveat to having a name like Saint – it gives him a lot to live up to. Just like being a Kennedy or even a Kardashian, there’s a stigma and pre-judgement that comes with a name that you have no control over. So if Saint West needs any advice on how to live up to a name larger than life, he can consult with these other celebrity babies who have just as odd if not more odd names than him.

Royalty {Daughter of Chris Brown}

Chris didn’t actually have anything to do with the naming of his daughter, since he found out she was his well after her birth, but it somehow seems exactly the right name that he would give her anyways. He’s also been treating her as such ever since the truth about his paternity came up, so much so that he’s named his upcoming album Royalty, and in the spirit of philanthropy, he’s also donating proceeds of the record sales to the Children’s Miracle Network hospital. He’s a *changed man* y’all.

Messiah Ya’ Majesty Harris {Son of T.I.}

That is not a typo, that apostrophe belongs there. Perhaps it was because it was T.I.’s first kid that he thought he needed to go big or go home, so he went for our savior, Lord Jesus Christ as the name for his baby.

Mary, did you know that your Baby Boy is Lord of all creation?

Mary, did you know that your Baby Boy would one day rule the nations?

Valor {Son of Emile Hirsch}

Valor {noun}: great courage in the face of danger, especially in battle.

Valor {proper noun}: Hufflepuff.

 

Happy Hinds {Son of Macy Gray}

Wouldn’t it be great if he could just change his name depending on his mood? Today he’s Happy, tomorrow he’s Outraged, next week he’s Flabbergasted.

King Cairo {Son of Tyga and Blac Chyna}

Is he just supposed to be treated like a king in general, or is it that he rules over the city of Cairo?

Atlas {Son of Ed Norton}

Despite what you may thinking, Ed Norton’s son wasn’t named after the huge ass book of maps, but rather the Greek god who was condemned by Zeus to hold up the sky forevs. TBH, this seems like the most difficult of all the names to live up to, since your name LIT’RALLY means to hold the world on your shoulders. I can’t even wear heavy coats.

Titan Jewell Witherspoon {Son of Kelly Rowland}

Although Kelly’s said the name itself has to do with family, it still bears heavy on the kid, since Titans were Greek gods of incredible strength. Sure you want your kid to be strong, but what if he’s a crier and a chess player? Not that there’s anything wrong with that.

Moxie Crimefighter {Daughter of Penn Jillette}

For a little backstory, Penn and his wife EZ (those are her initials) wanted to use a “purely American” name like Moxie to represent spunk and energy. As for the CrimeFighter part, Penn’s wife thinks middle names are stupid and they chose “CrimeFighter” as a joke. A JOKE. Who’s going to be laughing when there’s a murder to be solved and the only person who can seek retribution is Moxie CrimeFighter?

Kal-El Cage {Son of Nicolas Cage}

Literally his son is a superhero. He is Superman.

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Clear Notes, Full Voices, Can’t Lose

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When I binge watched Friday Night Lights for the first time, I couldn’t stop playing episode after episode in rapid succession. But when it came to the final few episodes of the series, I couldn’t bear to come to the reality that the show was actually ending. It took me weeks to gather the courage to watch the series finale, and when I did, it left me wanting more. But as the years go on, the less I want a FNL reunion movie. The show ended perfectly, so there’s no need to add to the story. But IRL reunions (like the one at ATX TV Festival) or cast get togethers (like the one at Scott Porter’s house) are perfectly acceptable – which is why a Friday Night Lights musical is the best thing to happen since Tim Riggins.

The fine folks at Sucker Love Productions have brought to life Cruel Intentions and most recently, The OC in musical form, and in 2016, they’re bringing the world of Dillon, Texas to Los Angeles. And if you thought it didn’t get any better, well it does, because Scott Porter, aka Six aka Jason Street is in it and he’s playing Coach Taylor. That’s right, man among men Dad of the Year Coach to all will be played by Jason Street.

PS: Scott has a history with singing and musical theatre – he starred in the Off-Broadway hit Altar Boyz, and you can be impressed with his killer pipes here, here and here.

Like I did with The OC musical, I’m just gonna go ahead and guess what songs will be featured in the FNL musical based on storylines and general music knowledge. We’ll see if any of these tunes show up – because you best believe I’m trying my damnest to get a ticket to this.

Devil Town by Tony Lucca

{Cast}

Besides the actual instrumental theme song for FNL, Devil Town is the unofficial theme song for the show. It was used in the beginning and end of season one, as well as various promo clips throughout the run. The song itself is tonally a perfect representation of the series with its simple instrumentations and the overall vibe feels small town-esque, while the lyrics suggest Dillon is more than a town focused on football.

Run The World (Girls) by Beyonce

{Tami Taylor}

We know that out on the field, Coach Taylor is in charge. But let’s face it y’all, behind every strong Coach Taylor is a formidable Tami Taylor, and she’s the one who’s really in charge. She’s smart, caring, giving, fair, and doesn’t make excuses for who she is, her values, or what she wants in life. Mrs. Coach became Principal Taylor and at the end of the series, she moved up in the ranks to fulfill her own career dreams. And who followed right behind her? Eric Taylor.

Magnets by Disclosure featuring Lorde

{Tim Riggins and Lyla Garrity}

Despite the fact Lyla promises her boyfriend Jason Street she’ll stick by him during his tragic paralyzing accident in the pilot, she ultimately commits the ultimate betrayal mid-season 1 and sleeps with his BFF, bad boy and teen heartthrob Tim Riggins. Poor choices all around, but it’s the beginning of one of the series’ most iconic relationships, and TBH, I ship it. More so than Tim and Tyra. And maybe even more so than Tim and me. HAH JK.

Never really felt bad about it/As we drank deep from a lie
‘Cause I felt melting magnets, babe/The second I saw you through half-shut eyes
Uh-oh, dancin’ past the point of no return/Let go, we can free ourselves of all we’ve learned
I love this secret language that we’re speaking/Say it to me, let’s embrace the point of no return

Bitch by Meredith Brooks

{Julie Taylor}

It’s so so easy to hate on Julie Taylor throughout the entire series, and for good reason. I always come to her defense, mainly asserting that she’s supposed to be an annoying teenage girl, but I can only do it for so long.

Maybe I’m Amazed by Paul McCartney

{Tami & Eric Taylor}

There’s a scene in the season 1 finale, State, in which Tami tells Eric she’s pregnant, and it is just the epitome of true love. He obviously needs her to repeat the phrase ‘I’m pregnant’, since they certainly weren’t expecting this, and his reaction is picture perfect. Later in the ep, Eric tells Tami he’s reconsidered taking the big job at TMU and wants to stay in Dillon, but Tami is all, ‘you are so dumb’ and is like don’t give up on this big opportunity you idiot. They are #relationshipgoalsAF and if any of us can get this type of love in our lifetime, we would be pretty lucky indeed.

Secret by The Pierces

{Landry & Tyra}

Yeah, you know that storyline all FNL fans refuse to accept happened? That’s this song.

Marry You by Bruno Mars

{Mindy & Billy Riggins}

One of the most endearing relationships to come out of Dillon is that of the unlikely pairing of Tim’s older, equally poor choice making brother, and Tyra’s stripper sister Mindy. Their wedding was iconic for the outfits alone, but can’t you just picture them dancing down the aisle to this song? Also, the actress who plays Mindy, Stacey Oristano, is a fab singer IRL, so she should probably be in the FNL musical.

All We Ever Do Is Say Goodbye by John Mayer

{Matt}

In maybe the best episode of the series, The Son, Matt finds out his estranged dad Henry dies while in the Army in Iraq. When we first meet Matt, we find out his mom and dad are divorced, his mom left, his dad has spent most of his time overseas in the military, and he has to take care of his Grams, who suffers from dementia. Matt never really got the chance to know his father, since he was leaving constantly, much like his mom, and technically grams. It all comes to a head in one of the most powerful scenes between Matt and Coach, after he finds out Coach might be leaving Dillon.

Gravity by Sara Bareilles

{Vince and his mom Regina}

In addition to the stress of being the the star quarterback of the new East Dillon Lions, Vince has to deal with his mother, a former drug addict who relapses. He manages to get her help and into rehab, but it obviously takes a toll on him. Gravity might not be the super obvious choice for this particular storyline, but it’s all because of one of the most memorable routines from So You Think You Can Dance that deals with addiction.

Whatever This Song Is by Crucifictorious

{Landry & Cruicifictorious}

IDGI, but do whatever your heart tells you, Lance.

House Party by Sam Hunt

{Tim Riggins}

It occurred to me while compiling this list that Sam Hunt is like the Tim Riggins of music. Hot, talented in their craft, hot, popular with the ladies, hot. One sings about being in a cop car while the other voluntarily turns himself into the police. Same thing.

Brick by Ben Folds Five

{Luke & Becky}

Luke and Becky have a one-night stand in season four, and she ends up pregnant. It’s a whole situation involving HBIC and principal Tami Taylor, but Becky eventually decides to have an abortion. Is this song too real?

When You Come Back Down by Nickel Creek

{Matt & Julie}

Every year at the ATX TV Festival, there’s a FNL tailgate party complete with music, a screening of an FNL episode, and random cast members avail to meet and take pix with. Last year, Sara Watkins of Nickel Creek played, and like Devil Town, their music fits perfectly with the Dillon vibe. This song is all about letting someone you love go in order for them to live their life. Matt & Julie had been dating pretty much all throughout high school, but when Matt invites Julie to visit him in Chicago where he’s attending college, she decides against it because she knows if she does go, she wouldn’t want to leave, thus putting her own dreams aside (except she ends up following him to Chicago at the end of the series anyways bc they’re engaged and stuff. Spoiler alert?).

Devil Knows You’re Dead by Delta Spirit

{Cast}

FNL has one of the best series finales in TV history, and I think a lot of that has to do with the final montage, which gives each character an ending, with their stories wrapped up in perfect bows. During that montage, this Delta Spirit song plays and gives you lit’rally all the feels.

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Michael B. Jordan: An Adonis To Be Thankful For

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Guys, listen. It’s Monday. It’s the first day back from a four-day weekend. You stuffed your face with food and then stuffed your ears with Christmas music. We shouldn’t have to be at work right now. But alas, here we are. And I appreciate you taking the time out of your day to read this – aka procrastinating your work a bit more. In return, I’m going to stuff your eyes with one of God’s greatest gifts to mankind, Michael B. Jordan.

Over the weekend, I saw Creed, the Rocky spin-off movie. If you know me, this may be a somewhat surprising choice for holiday weekend viewing because I usually don’t put sports movies on the top of my list. However, if you do know me, you know I’m a fan of Michael B. Jordan and HBMs in general. On top of that, I kept hearing nothing but good things about Creed, so I caved and went to see it. And let me tell you  – I haven’t been able to stop thinking about it. It’s just that good.

Preface: Rocky is one of my Pop Culture Blind Spots. If I had planned this better, I would’ve watched Rocky in prep for Creed, but turkey got in the way. I of course knew the basics of the Rocky franchise – Sylvester Stallone, Apollo Creed, Philadelphia, Yo Adrian, the steps, boxing. But not the details. I was basically going into the movie *blind*. While there were a few things that my friend (who watched Rocky for the first time the night before) had to explain to me, they were fairly inconsequential, because overall, Creed is a fantastic film that deserves all the awards. The drama, the action, the writing, the acting, the score, the directing (Ryan Coogler FTW), the cinematography – everything – was a literal knockout. It reminded me of a Friday Night Lights vibe, where you find yourself rooting for the Panthers/Lions/Creed because you’re rooting for the person, not the team. Sport is secondary, personal victory is everything. This is the end of Traci’s Creed movie review (so go see it).

Back to MBJ. I’ve previously discussed how his excellent acting skills make me cry inexplicably (yeah, I cried at Creed a couple times, so what), but on this Monday after Thanksgiving, I’m just going to present you with some pure sexy MBJ goodness.

For Creed, MBJ clearly had to get into a boxer’s shape. Playing the son of a legendary fake boxer, he had to live up to the Creed legacy Carl Weathers started 40 years ago. So my boy called up his boy, trainer Corey Calliet, a former boxer himself. Over the course of a year, MBJ worked out twice a day, drank lots of water, ate boiled chicken and broccoli and brown rice (why does that sound good to me) and gained 24 pounds of muscle. !!

For comparison, a totally still hot pic of MBJ in January 2014 on some beach:

and a year ago:

https://www.instagram.com/p/v_t9qGuCIH/?taken-by=michaelbjordan

nine months ago:

https://www.instagram.com/p/zTJpyCOCEt/?taken-by=michaelbjordan

eight months ago:

https://www.instagram.com/p/0Axl5auCDI/?taken-by=michaelbjordan

on the cover of Men’s Fitness today:

yeahhhhh. I’m here for all of it. Have I convinced you to watch Creed yet? Well let me add that there’s a romantic component to the story, involving Adonis ‘Donnie’ Creed and his neighbor, played by the beautiful and talented Tessa Thompson. Y’all, there’s a scene in the movie that involves braids that’s not even sexual and I was getting sweaty. I died. Anyways, MBJ knows how to flirt and be romantic and stuff and here’s a video of him doing that.

Have you recovered from that stupid amazing video yet? Me either. Take some time, look up more pix of MBJ in private browsing, then go see Creed. I promise you it’s worth it. If not, come back here and complain to me. But I’ll barely be listening. I have Rockys 1 through 6 to catch up on.

MBJ thanks you for your time.

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#ThrowbackThursday – The One With All The Thanksgivings

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Happy Thanksgiving, friends! Hope y’all are having a wonderful day surrounded by friends and family and all the food your stomachs can handle! One of my favorite traditions on this day is to go back and watch all the Friends Thanksgiving episodes, because, America. While each of them have their own merits, I decided to rank them in order of import, so if you feel like watching one or two of these today, I’d say go with the the top spot and work your way back. Thanks for reading and enjoy your turkey!!

Good television fans know that certain series have the market on lock when it comes to holiday-themed episodes. For example, The Office had superb Christmas episodes every year. Community goes above and beyond with its Halloween shows. And of course, you could always count on Friends for a solid Thanksgiving episode.

friends t gives

Over the past few years, I’ve started my own tradition (like the Geller Cup, if you will) of watching every Thanksgiving episode from all 10 seasons, just to get me in the mood for the holiday.

So in honor of today, here’s a definitive list (read: based solely on my own personal opinion, my mind will probably change tomorrow) of the episodes from worst to best.

Oh and Happy Thanksgiving!

Number Ten

Season 2: The One with the List

Ross must choose between Rachel and Julie and enlists Joey and Chandler’s help in making a list of the pros and cons of each. He chooses Rachel, but she finds the list and gets angry with Ross. Meanwhile, Monica gets a job making food with a synthetic chocolate substitute called Mockolate.

This was the only episode in the show’s 10 year run that was not an official “Thanksgiving episode”. It served as such when it aired in 1995, but there was not real T-Giving banter until the following season. That being said, I still think this is a great episode, not only because everyone’s still on a high from Ross and Rachel’s first kiss, but because Chandler’s laptop is like a life-changing instrument where you can both type semi-offensive documents about your friends but also play Doom. Could it BE anymore 90s?

Number Nine

Season 7: The One Where Chandler Doesn’t Like Dogs

Phoebe sneaks a puppy into the apartment; Chandler reveals why he hates dogs. Ross becomes obsessed with naming all 50 states in order to earn his Thanksgiving dinner. Phoebe names celery.

Because of Ross, millions of people were left dumbfounded and extremely annoyed that they couldn’t list all 50 states. Unless you’re one of those people who learned the States song when you were younger. In which case you can’t participate in the game or Thanksgiving.

Number Eight

Season 10: The One with the Late Thanksgiving

Monica and Chandler grudgingly agree to host Thanksgiving. They get angry when their friends show up late, when Ross and Joey having gone to a game and Rachel and Phoebe having taken Emma to a baby beauty pageant, because why not. But their mood changes when they get good news from the adoption agency.

The best scenes in this mediocre episode are with the four latecomers who are brainstorming to come up with a way to get on the Bings’ good graces and come to dinner. Not to mention the creepiest door scene in all of Friends history.

Number Seven

Season 9: The One with Rachel’s Other Sister

Amy, Rachel’s spoiled sister played by Christina Applegate, shows up for Thanksgiving. The gang argues over who gets custody of Emma if Ross and Rachel die. 

Props to the person who cast both Christina Applegate and Reese Witherspoon as Rachel’s sisters. Christina was even nominated twice for her role and won in 2003 for this very episode! And it was totally well deserved because her spaciness and inability to understand that Phoebe’s name is, in fact, Phoebe and not Emma, makes her the sole reason why this episode needs more credit than it deserves.

Number Six

Season 1: The One Where Underdog Gets Away

The gang gets locked out of the apartment in order to see the Underdog balloon fly away from the Macy’s Day Parade. Monica’s first Thanksgiving dinner gets burned, Rachel misses a ski trip with her family, and Joey becomes a poster boy for VD.

The first season is a magical season for many reasons, but most importantly because if you’re watching it in current day, you can tell there’s still an innocence among the cast members and within the actual show – these people have no idea how big the show’s going to be or how much of an impact it will have on television history in general. The first ever Thanksgiving episode is no different. It set a precedent for future T-giving episodes, and the rest of the series in general.

Number Five

Season 3: The One with the Football

The gang plays a game of touch football on Thanksgiving as Ross and Monica argue over winning in a case of sibling rivalry over the coveted Geller Cup. Meanwhile, Joey and Chandler argue over who gets to date a model from Holland and Rachel is still clueless on the game. 

Family, Friends, Food and Football. Pretty much Thanksgiving summed up in alliteration. The Friends writers knew they had to incorporate one of America’s most beloved past times, and this was the perfect way to do it.

Number Four

Season 4: The One with Chandler in a Box

After Joey finds out that Chandler kissed his girlfriend Kathy, he forces Chan to spend Thanksgiving in a huge wooden box so he can think about what he did. What’s even weirder than Chandler in a box? Monica inviting her ex-boyfriend’s son over for Thanksgiving and she hits on him.

The reason for this episode being one of the greatest is threefold: 1) Monica with an eye patch. 2) Chandler/Matthew Perry being in a box the entire episode. 3) One of the greatest and unforgettable lines ever in Friends, as seen in the clip above. Judge all you want.

Number Three

Season 5: The One with All the Thanksgivings

The gang’s past Thanksgivings are revealed flashback style. We get to see when Chandler and Monica first meet, how he changed her life, Joey’s head up a turkey’s butt, and Pheebs in the 1600s. 

I appreciate that Friends has done only a few clip shows in its 10 year run, since it can feel like the writers haven’t come up with any new ideas and are just being lazy. But one thing that Friends did, that I think How I Met Your Mother really perfected, is having flashback scenes that are brand new to both the cast and the viewers. This episode takes the cake, as we get to see the Friends in different eras, different stages of their life and how they all came together as one unit. Plus who doesn’t love a good turkey head?

Number Two

Season 8: The One with the Rumor

Monica invites a high school friend, Will, played by Brad Pitt, to her Thanksgiving dinner. He and Ross were pals back in the day and had an I Hate Rachel Green club, which she finds out in the episode. Meanwhile, Joey tries to eat an entire turkey and Chandler and Phoebe attempt to avoid helping Monica with the dinner.

Oh boy. It’s like pouring salt in the wound thinking about this, but remember when Brad and Jennifer were still married and happy in love? But then they played enemies in this episode? Brad hardly makes any TV appearances, but obviously he made an exception with this, and I think he played the perfect roll. This could also be because my obsession with him started around this time, but whatever. Despite Will and Ross’ “hatred” for Rachel, it turns out to be a sweet moment at the end between the show’s iconic couple, leaving you with the warm and fuzzies. Isn’t that what the holidays are all about?

Number One

Season 6: The One Where Ross Got High

Ross and Monica’s parents come to dinner, and Ross is forced to tell Chandler why Jack and Judy don’t like him, since they still don’t know Monica and Chandler are living together. Things get more stressful for Ross as he and Joey are trying to speed up Thanksgiving to hang out with Janine, played by Elle MacPherson, and her dancer friends. Rachel *tries* to make dessert for the first time. 

The Friends’ Thanksgiving episodes are usually bottle episodes, which means the action primarily takes place in one setting, with the same characters. In this case, it’s the six Friends in Monica’s apartment, seemingly like an act of a play. In saying that, the 22 minute episode goes by so quickly because the writing, acting, and comedic timing by all is just that good. So many things are happening with all of the characters, and it converges together in one of the most hilarious scenes on TV. From Phoebe’s infatuation with a French aqualegend to Rachel’s feet-tasting trifle, this episode is the perfect mix of disaster, family time and sentimentality that Thanksgiving is all about.

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Sorry, Not Sorry: Your New Choreographer Obsession

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I don’t know how it happened, but I’ve suddenly become a Justin Bieber fan. I’m a Belieber. Ok, let’s clarify – I’m a Belieber in the sense that I love his new music and play it on repeat (between this and M’s recent One Direction fascination, I think we’re both Benjamin Buttoning). And I’ve found myself playing the music videos from his Purpose album on my TV and jumping around my room as if I’m one of the fierce dancers. You know what pushed me over the edge? The vid for Sorry.

It’s nearly impossible for me to sit still and just listen to this song without breaking out some kind of wannabe dance hall move, and besides the catchy beat, a lot of that has to do with the ladies featured in the video. Instead of Bieber dancing, we get a group of women decked out in 90s gear grooving in a stark white room, and I can’t get enough of it.

After a while, I wanted to know more about who the genius was behind the video, especially since it’s rare to see JB not featured in a Bieber music video. Meet Parris Goebel, your new obsession.

Parris is a 24-year-old New Zealand native who choreographed and directed all the music videos for JB’s Purpose album. More on that later. To get some background info, when she was 15, Parris founded an all-girl dance crew called ReQuest, and that’s the squad she rolls with to this day. Through the years, they’ve been featured and highlighted in various dance competitions and conventions, with numerous awards under their belt. ReQuest was the first non-U.S. team to compete on America’s Best Dance Crew in season six, but were eliminated in week four.

In 2012, Jennifer Lopez found a vid of Parris that she posted on YouTube, and asked her to choreograph for her. The job wasn’t just a one-off gig – Parris choreographed JLo’s Dance Again Worl Tour, as well as the music video for Goin’ In, and most recently, Jen’s epic dance medley at the AMAs on Sunday. She’s also the choreographer for JLo’s upcoming Vegas residency, so they’re practically BFFz now.

In addition to Jennifer, Parris has created routines for K-Pop stars like Taeyang and 2NE1, Janet Jackson and Nicki Minaj’s tours, and worked with Nicki and Queen Bey for their Feeling Myself music video. I mean. Can you even.

Back to Bieber – Parris got a call from JB’s people asking if she would want to make a lyric video for his new single Sorry, but the caveat was that it had to be ready in a week. With limited time, she gathered her girls, quickly choreographed it, threw 90s inspired clothes on and shot it. She thought showing the lyrics would take away from the choreo, so decided not to – and the finished product has now been seen more than 141 million times.

Parris was then recruited to choreograph and directed music videos for all 13 of the tracks on Bieber’s Purpose album. Some of them, she handed over to her also talented choreographer friends like Keone and Mari Madrid, who are featured in Love Yourself. But for vids like Company, it was all her:

But what I’ve found out about Parris is that she’s all about empowering women through dance, which obviously makes me love her even more. She’s created a genre of dance called “Polyswagg”, which she describes as “combining sassy woman fire with aggressive inner strength.”

“I’ve dedicated my whole career, and talent, and life to bringing women especially together, to shine and to create things that inspire other women. It’s a lot easier to make a change if I’m living those standards and living confidently. It’s a lot easier to show people that you can do it. I’m definitely about being confident in myself and strong, like strong in a sense of “Yeah, it is hard work. What we all go through whether it’s in work or life, no one has it easy, but it’s always how we come out of it or always how we react to it that makes us a stronger person.” I have so much to tell through my dance so I like to portray that through my movement and tell my story, and inspire other women to tell their stories as well.” {via Elle}

Behind every Bieber, there’s a strong woman, and that one happens to be Parris in this case. Although I’m a new fan, I wish her the best in her future endeavors and can’t wait to see what she does next. For now, I’m just going to go into a spiral of her dance videos, and I invite you to join me on that journey. Sorry, not sorry.

 

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Bye Forever, Hunger Games Press Tour

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The final installment of The Hunger Games comes to an end today with the release of Mockingjay – Part 2. Will Peeta overcome his hijack by the Capitol? Will Katniss kill President Snow? Will Gale find a happy ending? All these questions are answered in the movie – and if you’re like me, you’ll forget what happened in the book and most of the movie will be a surprise. A good surprise, though. I’m just saying I forgot how stressful it gets, especially in the tunnel scene.

And as the franchise comes to a close, so does the epic press tours that our lovely cast has been going on for the past four years. We’ve gotten to see a number of enviable gowns from Ms. Lawrence and co. but by far what I’ll miss most is these idiots together answering dumb questions and playing stupid games to promote the movies.

For example, here’s one (that’s not as dumb) from this press tour that involves pranking YouTube prankers Smosh all in the name of charity.

So here’s the thing. I’ve read all the books. I’ve seen all the movies on opening weekend. I’m a fan. But for some reason, I become a teen fangirl when it comes to watching videos of interviews of this cast. I’ve seen an embarrassing amount of Josh, Jen and Liam answering similar questions over and over again, but it always comes down to their chemistry. Friendship, real or not real? TOTALLY REAL. And that’s why I love these videos. As we say goodbye to the Hunger Games one last time, here are some parting clips of our beloved cast through the years that will make you wish there was another franchise for them to all star in once again.

The Hunger Games

This was in 2012, but Josh and Jen look like different humans.

The Hunger Games: Catching Fire

SAM CLAFLIN IS SUCH A DREAM BOAT. THE WINKS. I CANNOT.

The Hunger Games: Mockingjay – Part 1

Possibly my fave “Joshifer” interview/game? Jen is very excited about winning these Fandango movie tickets, but is she actually more excited about winning? Also they’re cute.

The Hunger Games: Mockingjay – Part 2

If you have a chance/want to keep avoiding work, just go through and watch any and all interviews Josh Horowitz from MTV has with the cast. He’s been interviewing them since the beginning and it’s kinda sad seeing it come to an end. Luckily he got to go out with a bang and take shots of bourbon with the cast at their final premiere.

 

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Adele Fangirls Over People

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Our Patron Saint of Sobbing returns with a much-anticipated album on Friday with 25 and as details slowly leak, the more we long for it to be release day. Yesterday, Adele gave us a lil’ crumb from 25 with the music video for When We Were Young, and with this and Hello, I think everyone needs to take a personal day on Friday. Or like a world holiday, because Adele is revered by many. She’s one of those artists that more people love than hate, but who does one of the most revered celebs love the most? Here are just some of the people Adele had gone crazy for, the way we would go crazy over her.

Beyonce

Going outside and falling on your knees and crying is EXACTLY how you should respond when meeting the King and Queen. And “Adele, one minute” – are you kidding me? That phrase should go on her tombstone.

Rihanna

“I guess I have my own squad. It’s not as interesting as some of the other squads that are around right now. But maybe Rihanna can be in my squad! That would be really cool. Oh, God. She’s life itself, isn’t she? I love her.” Adele to Rolling Stone {x}

Petition to have a Rihanna/Adele reality TV show of them hanging out at home watching a movie or out a club. This would never happen, but can you imagine?

Spice Girls

First of all, Adele looks like such a baby in this video. Second, it makes total sense she’s a Spice Girls fan. She was an impressionable girl growing up in England who had the most popular girl group in the world to look up to. Like Adele says, their voices weren’t the best, but that doesn’t mean they don’t have a rightful place in music history.

Amy Winehouse

“If it wasn’t for Amy and Frank, 100% I wouldn’t have picked up a guitar, I wouldn’t have written Daydreamer or Hometown and I wrote Someone Like You on the guitar too… I got super emotional with the funeral footage. But I wasn’t really that into the saved voicemails and stuff like that. I felt like I was intruding so I actually felt a little bit uncomfortable and that ruined it for me. I love watching her, but I kind of wish I hadn’t seen it. But you know, I love Amy. I always have, I always will. Do you know what makes me super sad? That I’m never going to hear her voice again, other than how I’ve heard it.”

Adele and Amy actually attended the same school for a brief period of time, but weren’t friends. They even performed at the BRIT Awards (UK’s version of the Grammys) together but alas, they ran in different circles.

Frank Ocean

“I’m just f–king waiting for Frank f–king Ocean to come out with his album. It’s taking so f–king long. That sounds so stupid, coming from me, doesn’t it?” Adele to Rolling Stone {x}

But honestly, WTF Frank Ocean.

Lana Del Rey

Adele accidentally got the same exact tattoo as Lana Del Rey at the same time. Oops. In Adele’s defense, she got it in honor of her son Angelo, not because LDR got it. But she didn’t have a problem with people thinking that. “She probably thinks I’m, like, some mad fangirl. I mean, I am a Lana fangirl, but not a crazy one.” BRB getting a Paradise tattoo inspired by Adele inspired by LDR.

Bette Midler

Well. Here this is.

 

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The Art of Shia LaBeouf

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So Shia LaBeouf did another thing. No, he didn’t have another run-in with the law (this time around, at least). No, he didn’t put another paper bag on his head (this time around, at least). No, he didn’t let strangers sit across from him at a table (this time around he let strangers sit next to him, at least). America’s favorite actor named Shia kicked off his latest stunt last week, called #AllMyMovies, a three-day experimental performance art installation in which he sat and watched all his films in reverse chronological order for 72 hours straight – more or less – and invited fans to watch them with him. Basically Shia binge-watched himself nonstop for three days.

But the best part about this was the livestream available on the project’s website, which had a camera directly on Shia the entire time. The caveat was that there was no sound, so you couldn’t hear if he said anything outloud, or know which point in the movie they were in. There was a schedule available online as to the start time and list of movies playing (as I found out from a number of #AllMyMovies followers after rhetorically inquiring on Twitter), so plenty of folks at home, with no time on their hands apparently, could sync up with Shia.

I decided to see what all the fuss was all about and logged in to the site, partly because I was curious, and partly because I have a severe case of pop culture FOMO. This is what I saw:

Legit. This is what one would see if they went to the live stream. After I realized nothing was wrong with my computer and there really wasn’t any sound, I started losing interest. Maybe it was because he was in New York and it was like 3am his time and he was catatonic anyways, or maybe he didn’t care for the movie. I didn’t even know what movie he was watching at that point, so like, who cared? But then I searched the hashtag on Twitter, and that led to a whole other world, and it all started making sense.

The dedicated fans who had stayed up into the wee hours of the morning had been following Shia since the beginning. Since Shia was the only static person in frame, they started to pick up the minutia of everything else around him, i.e. the fans in the visible background.

At one point during my viewing, there was a dude behind Shia that looked like Josh Peck. A blurry Josh Peck, which led to me researching if it was actually Josh Peck – it wasn’t. But that doesn’t mean there weren’t a fair share of “celebrities” in the audience. By celebrities, I mean the folks around Shia who got nicknamed by the Internet. There was Glasses Girls 1 & 2 during Constantine and The Greatest Game Ever Played, Kurt Fauxbain and Jack Sparrow in front of him at Surf’s Up and Hat Girl, who even scored a parody Twitter account. And her Hat got an account too. The Internet, man.

According to multiple #AllMyMovies-goers, video and photography was strictly prohibited inside the theater, and if fans had gifts, they had to give it to someone else who would relay the items to Shia. There were some people that decided to act like a true fan and ask for a pic with him:

Or act like a normal human and congratulate him on his excellent scene:

or casually offer candy:

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*a staff member at the Angelika said Shia went through 15 bags of Sour Patch Kids during his 3-day stay!*

Then you have that one person who fucks it up and legit causes you second-hand embarrassment even though you know it’s inevitable:

When you’re try to watch your movie but a dumb blonde has to ask you a question…

Aside from the fans, watching Shia’s reaction to watching himself was hard to take your eyes off of. Here are just a few choice reactions from his marathon:

Charlie’s Angels: Full Throttle

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Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull

Transformers: Dark Side of The Moon

*He basically hated all the Transformers films. At one point he even goes into the aisle and lays down to take a nap.

Holes

The Even Stevens Movie

It’s worth noting that this FREE performance art piece has apparently been in the works for a year, so it’s not some paper bag type gimmick that he decided to do on a whim. In fact, a Twitter user noted that after Shia got arrested in Texas last month, he had tweeted his first line to every one of his movies sequentially, a move that obviously shows he had at least some thought into it. He even wrote on the wall of the Angelika thanking them for hosting the “crazy” marathon, proving he’s aware that the concept of watching all his films and capturing his response is insane.

But like any type of art, it’s totally objective. I don’t necessarily *get* performance art, but I understand it enough to consider it art. In this particular case, a number of reasons could make the case for Shia’s binge-watch as “real art”. Through the literal lens of the camera directly facing Shia, we see a number of reactions from the actor and the people around him. It shows the psychology of human interaction in an unlikely setting, their response to celebrity, the mere fact staying awake for lengthy periods of time can change your mental state. The same goes for Shia. I’m assuming he intended to view his movies in reverse knowing full well he’d be loopy by the time he reached the point where he was a child actor. As seen above, he seemed to be the most content and happy while watching Surf’s Up and The Even Stevens Movie (watch him watch it synced with the actual film. Cinnamon roll.) – albeit both are classified as kids’ films – one has to wonder if the reason he’s emitting so much joy is to show that he’s just like us – he sometimes longs for the days of innocence and finds comfort in a show like Evens Stevens, which helped him become a star and occurred during some of the most important developmental years of his life. Then there’s the whole fascination of watching Shia watch a screen for hours on end. Like I said, I fell victim to the FOMO, but it’s interesting to see how involved and passionate they get with something as simple as a livestream of a dude in a dark theater.

So, it goes back to this – what’s the point of this charade? Are we supposed to look inward and reflect on what it would be like for us to relive moments of our lives on the big screen with strangers for three days? Or does this put another notch on Shia’s “egotistical” nature? That here he is, doing a performance art piece, seeing his career as an actor in reverse, and perhaps he’s searching for what made him fall in love with acting in the first place? To watch his bizarre rise and fall in the industry? To show just how odd the idea of fame is in general? We might never know unless Shia explains it point blank to us, but to be honest, we don’t need that. We need to respect his desire to keep creating art that fulfills him. As long as he’s not hurting anyone in the process,  who cares? We’re talking about it now, aren’t we? And maybe that’s what he wanted all along.

shia

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