Category Archives: Entertainment

Questions, Comments, and Concerns – Kidnapped: Hannah Anderson

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It’s Monday, so that means it’s time for another installment of Questions, Comments, and Concerns! Just kidding. There’s been no real precedence for this. Our last QCC was posted on a Thursday. But because it’s Monday, you already are over work, so spend some time reading this overview of yet another Lifetime movie featuring a random C List star.

Disclaimer: I only watched this because Scott Patterson, aka #LukeDanesDreamMan is in it. He was on an episode of the Gilmore Guys podcast and plugged it during his interview, so I decided to check it out. And by check it out, I mean, write a post for the blog (two months later). I know nothing about it except the description in Time Warner:

16-year-old girl, Hannah Anderson, is kidnapped in a San Diego suburb by a family friend, and her mother and brother are killed. A media frenzy occurs when she is rescued and questions arise about whether Hannah played a part in the murders.

Intrigued? Saw the movie and want to delve into a deep discussion about it? Don’t really care about the movie, but really care about Luke Danes as a questionable suspect in a kidnapping case? Then let’s get this started.

Question: Is Scott Patterson playing a really warped alternate universe version of Luke?

The first scene shows what seems to be police marching through a forest on the hunt for someone, then it cuts to Scott/Luke at a camp site struggling to start a fire. Luke would know how to start a fire. Therein lies the difference. Unless he’s the kidnapper. In which case there’s a huge difference.

Concern: Scott/Luke plays Jim, Uncle to Hannah, supposed kidnapper.

I don’t think I’m going to like this. It’s going to mar my vision of #LukeDanesDreamMan

Photo Jul 24, 2 14 06 PM (1)

Comment: The press is hounding her and her dad at their home.

Like almost following her into their house just to get a statement. This is San Diego, not Stars Hollow, why are they attacking her with such ferocity?

Comment: “Let’s check your inbox”

WHAT KIND OF INBOX IS THIS??
Photo Jul 24, 2 20 25 PM (1)Also, why is she responding to all these comments online? It’s 2015, you have to realize that this is going to be out in the press. Might as well let all those reporters inside, it’s the same thing.

Question: So Uncle Jim isn’t her actual uncle?

He might be a family friend who was obsessed with her and wanted to start a life with this TEENAGER. Hannah says he threatened to murder her if she didn’t go with him.

Comment: HANNAH IS AN IDIOT.

Her online chat made the news. They’re suggesting she had an inapprops relationship with Uncle Jim. They’re calling her the “Lakeside Lolita” (she’s from Lakeside, California)

Question: Are they setting Hannah up to be an aspiring (for lack of a better term) “Fame-whore” who killed her fam to be popular?

The press is hounding Hannah and her dad at her mom and brother’s funeral. Like barged into the church. Her BFF Cassie hands here something that looks like a Starbucks Frappucino to help her de-stress. She spots her younger bro’s teammates (like 9 year old boys in jerseys) and asks to take a selfie, because she’s going to post on Instagram later to “remember him”. This conversation:

Cassie: Look, you’re famous!
Hannah: They love talking about me, that’s all.
Cassie: Maybe you’ll get movie offers.

Concern: The agent covering the murder case seems creepy to me, and held their hug a little too long.


Comment: Uncle Jim’s full name is James DiMaggio (Jim DiMaggio baseball great).

Photo Jul 24, 2 39 54 PM (1)

Because she can point to a girl posting Instagram pictures, doing online chats, and say you’re being flippant about this… You gotta knock it off with the selfies, I already warned you about all that stuff! – Hannah’s Dad

Comment: Hannah is pushing her dad to do The Today Show interview to talk about her story, and the interviewer is Susie Castillo, former MTV VJ.

 

Question: I have a few.

There’s a flashback to a few months before her mom and brother’s death, with all three of them hanging out with Uncle Jim DiMaggio at a cookout in their backyard. First of all, how does Uncle Jim DiMaggio know the fam, since Hannah said she’s known him all her life? Second, did he have a secret affair with the mom. Third, he and Hannah have been making weird eyes at each other and IT IS SO UNCOMFY.

Concern: Uncle Jim DiMaggio wants to take Hannah on a trip (by themselves) to LA. Questionable.

Comment: Fame. Whore.

Hannah: This (Walk of Fame star) is gonna be mine some day.
Uncle Jim DiMaggio: You want that kind of attention, huh?
Hannah: Are you kidding, who wouldn’t want to be famous?

Also, they clearly just guerrilla shot this on Hollywood Boulevard because the people around them (tourists) are blatantly taking pictures of them as they walk down the street. This fan paparazzi isn’t canon for this particular story.
Photo Jul 24, 2 50 51 PM (1)

Concern: I’M ABOUT TO VOMIT

Hannah and Uncle Jim DiMaggio are having lunch in LA, and he awkwardly places his hand on top of hers before she slowly pulls it away. Hehe weirdly gets jealous when she’s texting her maybe friend Dylan. Then he starts mumbling something about “I was just thinking…if you were older… if we were the same age…” and says, “I have a crush on you… like a family thing like I care about you.”

Concern: Uncle Jim DiMaggio texts like … well exactly how you’d expect an adult to text

Photo Jul 24, 2 59 57 PM (1)

Question: Why does Uncle Jim DiMaggio’s house look like a murderer’s cabin in the middle of the woods even though they live in San Diego?

Uncle Jim DiMaggio picked Hannah up, expecting to meet her mom and brother, and he takes her to his home, which turns out to be the only creepy log cabin in SD.

Comment: If an older man brings you to his creepy Cabin in the Woods and he asks you to fetch him a beer before explaining where your family is, something is wrong.

Hannah realizes something is up and attempts to run away but he grabs her and yells, ‘Shut up or I’ll kill you’ then is all like, “JK. Here, put this handcuff on and attach it to the chair and I’m gonna tie your feet together, but everything’s fine.” She should be freaking out more.

He also explains that he his job and didn’t want to leave San Diego, basically because of Hannah. He suggests that they run away and start a new life together, then pulls out a gun and is about to play Russian Roulette with it. I cannot.

Concern: She agrees to go away with him and she says she’s about to vomit – ME TOO – so he gives her like a date rape drug.

Question: Scott is playing him so creepy, am I ever going to look at him the same way again? PROBABLY NOT WHY DID I DECIDE TO WATCH THIS

Comment: HOLY CRAP HE JUST SHOT A DOG. AND THEN BEAT THE MOM AND BROTHER WITH A TIRE IRON. THEN BURNED THE HOUSE DOWN.

Photo Jul 24, 3 17 24 PM (1)

Comment: An Amber Alert is sent out looking for Uncle Jim DiMaggio with Hannah and Ethan (her bro) and there’s an unnecessary montage of randos getting the Amber Alert in the middle of the night.

What it doesn’t show you is that those fuckers make you have a heart attack, and don’t simply blink the flashlight with a faint beeping sound. ‘Fun’ fact: the screenshot above is the actual Amber Alert sent out from Hannah’s kidnapping, and was one of the first of those horrific iPhone alerts ever sent out. Which explains why when I searched ‘Amber alert iPhone’, IRL Hannah Anderson articles came up.

Question: Exactly what type of drug did Uncle Jim DiMaggio give Hannah because it seems she’s like still knocked out

Question: Like has she gone to the bathroom yet?

Uncle Jim DiMaggio and Hannah are now in Idaho and it’s been three days since he’s kidnapped her. Most of the time she’s been sleeping. Also, he makes Hannah carry two 50 pound backpacks while they’re hiking through the Idaho forest, and she trips and does something to her leg and Uncle Jim DiMaggio immed runs to help her. I’m so confused with their ‘relationship’. And later, while he’s peeing on the camp fire, she steals his gun and threatens to kill him but ultimately doesn’t and he knees her in the stomach. Pick a lane.

Concern: Four horseback riders to the possible rescue

They come across Uncle Jim DiMaggio and Hannah and one of the horseback riders is super suspish. The next day, the riders purposely find the unlikely duo, since one of them is a Sheriff and knew something was up and are like, 90% sure Hannah is the kidnapped girl in the news. They question Hannah but she brushes off their concern (such as, why are you wearing the same pajamas two days in a row for hiking?) by saying it was her idea, so the riders leave them alone. AKA they go to the police.

Concern: Uncle Jim DiMaggio gets drunk

Later that night, he gets so close to Hannah that I think he’s about to rape her but then he starts snoring. Thank God.

Comment: When in doubt, start a fire, I guess

A helicopter flies overhead and Uncle Jim DiMaggio’s initial reaction is to start a fire to ‘look normal’ that’s what you do to get someone to save you. Hello?

Question: Does this girl look like Lucy Hale as Aria Montgomery to anyone else?

Photo Jul 25, 1 02 58 AM

Comment: PS – Uncle Jim DiMaggio dies

They show it in the beginning, but the police eventually track them down at the campsite and surround them. Jim tries to fend them off, but a sniper shoots him and kills Uncle Jim DiMaggio.

Question: What is this song?

There’s an end montage of Hannah going back to real life with her dad, and there’s a song being played that’s akin to the Run Like Mad song used to replace I Don’t Wanna Wait on the Dawson’s Creek DVDs. Except more ballad-y. I haven’t been able to find the song online, so I’m thinking it was especially made for the movie. And it is a gem. Some choice lyrics:

I’m standing up, I’m speaking out / Let everybody hear

So I’m gathering my courage / Gonna let my feelings show

The darkest day gets left behind /If you choose to let them go

Its’ never really over /So I take it day to day

With courage and belief I take it all head on / But it’s hard to face it tough to come to grips with what goes on

Still I’m brave enough to look and see / What everybody sees

And deep inside I know they’re never gonna get the best of me

I’m strong enough to carry on / I’m brave enough to grow

I’m strong enough to face it all when I know my heart is true

On the road that leads me home

Comment: Not a fame whore

Despite various Internet theories, Hannah didn’t kill her family to get famous. She is still going strong and and wants to be a firefighter.

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Show You Should Be Watching If You Aren’t Already: Catastrophe

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It’s summer (technically almost the end of summer, but let’s be in denial of that for a while), which means new and quality TV programs are slim pickings. If you’ve already caught up with Orange is the New Black, rewatched all of Seinfeld on Hulu, and want a short binge to fill your extra time before you head back to the beach, I’ve got a show for you. Let Catastrophe take over your life.

Basic Plot

Boston executive Rob (Rob Delaney) visits London on a business trip and he meets Irish schoolteacher Sharon (Sharon Hogan). They hook up – and hook up and hook up – and he heads back home to America after the sex-filled weekend. She later finds out she’s pregnant and he heads back to the UK to attempt to figure out where to go from there.

But why exactly should I watch?? WELL LET ME TELL YOU.

Rob Delaney Out Of Twitter

I personally was introduced to Rob on Twitter, like thousands of other people. He’s a comedian, but that doesn’t necessarily mean those skills always transfer over on Twitter. It is 140 characters after all. Rob has the skill of not only being extremely funny, but an accessible type of funny which make his followers want to favorite and retweet to their own followers – thus becoming a Twitter sensation. In 2012 he was literally named the Funniest Person on Twitter at Comedy Central’s Comedy Awards. So in saying all this, would his comedy also translate onto the small screen? The answer is yes. He co-created and co-wrote Catastrophe with Sharon, who, ironically, he met over Twitter. If you go through his timeline and enjoy his comedy samplings, you’ll enjoy a whole script by him.

Introducing Sharon Hogan

In America, Sharon Hogan is a relative newcomer ( The Increasingly Poor Decisions of Todd Margaret, anyone?). At home in the UK, she’s been referred to as the “Tina Fey of British TV”. Like Tina, she acts, writes, produces, and directs (unlike Tina). Her “30 Rock” was a sitcom called Pulling, about three single female friends in London. The show was nominated for Best Sitcom at the TV BAFTAS (the UK Emmys), and she was nominated as an actress for the show as well. Needless to say, she’s hilarious, and together with Rob it makes the perfect comedy ‘marriage’.

A Rom Com for Non Rom Com Folk

If you hate rom coms because they’re so predictable, you’re going to love this show. Without spoiling too much, let’s just say that their shotgun relationship actually works in a weird way. The writing by Rob and Sharon is so clever and funny that it’s unpredictably delightful. Just when you think the other person is going to be offended by something, they find it endearing. If you think the storyline is going one way, it does, but not in the exact manner you thought it would. And although we’re introduced to these two as folks who can’t stop having sex, the rest of the season shows them as people in the ‘real world’ who are sweet to each other and romantic and a normal couple who seem like they’ve been together forever, but not. You believe that they could be not only romantic partners but best friends, and that’s also a testament to the chemistry Rob and Sharon have together.

Realistic Pregnancy

Now I’ve never been pregnant, so I have no idea if I’m right on this or not. But often times in TV and movies, pregnancy is treated like something that is just akin to a food baby for nine months, like everything goes well and all of a sudden a baby is produced. But Sharon keeps it real on Catastrophe. Not only is she pregnant with a baby from a guy she just met, but she’s also older than the average new mom. She discusses this on the show, as well as the higher risks that are involved if you’re over a certain age. Again, this aspect adds to the overall reality factor of the show as a whole, and yet another reason to love it even more.

It’s Short

There are six episodes. Each is 24 minutes. I had to stop myself from watching all of them in one night. So I watched them in two nights. You can fit this in your schedule.

Catastrophe is streaming now on Amazon
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Frizzle Fails: Majorly Unfun Magic School Bus Trips

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Science is cool. When I was a kid my mom was a science teacher, and during the summer I’d serve as a child guinea pig for whatever courses she was taking. I dissected owl pellets, collected pond water, and learned firsthand that science is awesome. And gross. Did I mention gross?

If you weren’t lucky enough to have a scientifically inclined parent, you may have had the next best thing — the guiding, fictional hand of Miss Frizzle, the adventurous, well-dressed schoolmarm from The Magic School Bus. The Magic School Bus was a series of children’s books and cartoons about a group of kids diving head-first into the inner workings of scientific phenomena.

But let’s be real. Teachers are great, but they can’t hit the mark 100% of the time. Here are some Frizzle Fails: those Magic School Bus adventures that delved a little too far into the disgusting, confusing, or downright depressing side of science.

The Magic School Bus Gets Demented

The school bus takes a mystical journey along the neurons and synapses of Phoebe’s grandmother, who was recently diagnosed with advanced dementia. Can they make it through the hippocampus before activity is significantly impaired?

The Magic School Bus Heats Up

Riding on the back of a flea, the Magic School Bus travels with a roadkill racoon on its trip through the animal control center’s crematorium. The kids learn an important scientific axiom: energy cannot be created or destroyed… it can only change form (into a harrowing experience that will haunt you for all the rest of your days).

The Magic School Bus Is In The Money

…as a strain of bacteria being passed from person to person on a dollar bill. The whole gang follows Ralphie’s tooth fairy money as, in the course of a single day, it passes from a man’s unwashed bathroom hands, to the wallet of a lady who just sneezed into her bare palm, before making its final appearance tucked into a g-string at a gentleman’s club.

The Magic School Bus Yes We Can-Cer

When Tim Jamal is diagnosed with a rare invasive tumor, the Magic School Bus takes a fun ride along his fast-dividing cells, evading the surgeon’s knife before ultimately getting wiped out by a high dose of chemotherapy. Uncontrolled mitosis? More like uncontrolled fun!

The Magic School Bus And The Poison Ivy Mystery Tour

WHEEEE! The School Bus slip-slides along the oils excreted from a poison ivy plant, and everyone learns how urushiol can trigger an immune response before – whooosh! – getting knocked out by a hefty, immune-suppressing dose of oral steroids. Will prednisolone make the kids go HAM with mood changes and aggression? Will Frizzle escape the dreaded moon face?

[Guys this isn’t even a book pitch, really, I just have poison oak really bad and this is my life right now.]

The Magic School Bus Peanut Caper

What began as a wacky adventure into the growth cycle of legumes ended three minutes later. Because Keesha has a nut allergy. Read more in The Magic School Bus EpiPen Extravaganza!

Dammit, Friz.

The Magic School Bus In The Mouse House

Miss Frizzle takes the gang on a great trip along the gut flora in the digestive tract of a mouse (you would not BELIEVE how much food from your very own home they find in that stomach!). When the mouse is chased out by the family cat, he is snatched up by an owl. The mouse is swallowed whole, and the kids find themselves broken down into teenier and teenier bits inside the owl before being regurgitated in a sack of hair and bone that is harvested and dissected by a bunch of curious youngsters.

[Like… this is what I did for fun when I was eight. Thanks, mom.]

The Magic School Bus Joins A Gerbil Family

This trip begins in the vas deferens of a male gerbil. From there, they … learn some stuff… then grow into the rapidly dividing cells of a gerbil embryo. When the fetal gerbil is fully formed, they learn – oh no! – that a choromosomal abnormality prevented proper development. After a bumpy journey through the gerbil birth canal, they learn that the circle of life is short indeed, when the gerbil mother recognizes that the child will not thrive and eats it. From there, it’s an awesome lesson in gerbil digestion and egestion. YAY.

The Magic School Bus Is NOT The Father!

The kids learn about DNA analysis – AND the civil justice system – when they go for a quick trip on Dorothy Ann’s blood cells during a hotly contested child support inquiry. How much of her genome is identical to her putative father’s? A statistically insignificant amount, it turns out!

The Magic School Bus Comes To Your AIDs

In this Very Special Edition of the Magic School Bus, the kids learn about the proper handling of bodily fluids when Friz, who has several open paper cut wounds on her hands (so much grading!) comes to the assistance of the heavily bleeding victim of a freak drone accident. As they tag along with an HIV strain, the kids learn that communicable diseases can be passed in a number of ways and that they should always take precautions when interacting with bodily secretions. But it never hurts to hug!

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Summer Memes Make Me Feel Fine: Louis TomlinSON

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Last week, the One Direction fandom was hit another harsh blow in 2015, with a report that Louis Tomlinson and his ex (?) girlfriend (?) Briana Jungwirth are gearing up to be parents. That’s right, a 23-year-old boy bander might be reproducing with a 23-year-old American stylist who he didn’t really date for a long time.

Neither Louis or Briana nor the 1D camp has confirmed the reports, so who the hell knows what’s happening. What we DO know is that Briana, also 23, is from LA and one of the rumored flings Louis’ had since breaking up with his longtime girlfriend Eleanor Calder. We also know that Briana has no trace of a life on social media, which is probs the best strategy she can have whether or not the preggo rumor is true.

^^THAT POST IS FROM 2012. HE HASN’T CONFIRMED SHIT^^

Back in my hardcore fangirl days, we didn’t really have the Internet when some big scandal like this broke out. I mean the internet existed, but obviously not to the same degree of fervor it’s at now. When AJ went into rehab in 2001, I had TRL, Backstreet.net and my own tears. Now, 1D fans have Twitter and Tumblr and Instagram, etc. etc. to dish out their feelings.

And boy, did they dish out their feelings. In this installment of Summer Memes, we’re looking at the deep, somewhat frightening world of the 1D fandom, and for better or worse, their reactions to Louis possibly becoming a dad, mere months after Zayn left the group. Hold on to your knickers kids, it’s gonna be a wild one.

Denial isn’t just a river in Egypt…

https://twitter.com/harrymoonavenue/status/621073428313976832

Does it ever drive you crazy just how fast the night changes?

i think they r dead

https://twitter.com/nexttohes/status/621077765488537600

https://twitter.com/SHIRELAURENTS/status/621307941195395073

No chill zone

https://twitter.com/smileyregui/status/621065849764507648

https://twitter.com/1DsTumblr/status/621080851435114496

Zayn’s Fault

https://twitter.com/snxpbackhes/status/621090696976560128

LARRY IS CANON

*Larry isn’t the name of another mystery member of the group. Larry is the ship name for Louis + Harry, since many Directioners believe Louis and Harry are secret boyfriends. It’s a thing that’s been going on since the early days of 1D, and when the pregnancy rumor came out, Larry Shippers went wild:

The truth is out there

https://twitter.com/iHarryNavy/status/621083766518345728

Over it

https://twitter.com/liannagen1D/status/621150428189822976

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Extreme Makeover: Clueless Edition

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When Clueless director Amy Heckerling was casting the movie back in the early 90s, she came across a number of up-and-coming actors and actresses who are now household names. In an interview with Vanity Fair for the 20th anniversary, Amy revealed the shortlist for Cher, which included young talents like Cybill’s daughter Alicia Witt, Kelly Kapowski aka Tiffani Thiessen, #HairGoals Keri Russell, and the actress Amy recalls the casting director told her she ‘had to see the girl in Flesh and Bone’, who turned out to be Gwyneth Paltrow.

But the one person that could’ve donned the Alaia dress is Legally Blonde herself, Reese Witherspoon.

“I had my heart set on Alicia… But Fox … wanted me to explore all the options… I met with Reese because everyone said, ‘This girl is amazing. She’s going to be huge.’ I saw some movie where she had a southern accent. Maybe it was on TV, a movie of the week. But I did see some scenes of hers and went: ‘Wow. She’s amazing.’ But Alicia is Cher.”

As for Cher’s love interest Josh, Fox casting director Carrie Frazier was really gung ho on a young Ben Affleck, and was “heartbroken” when he wasn’t cast. Other tidbits – Dave Chappelle could’ve been Murray (Donald Faison) and Sarah Michelle Gellar had to turn down the part of Amber due to her obligation to All My Children at the time.

With the infinite amount of permutations that could’ve happened with casting back then, we could’ve seen an entirely different Clueless – but we think they got it right. But moving forward in an era where there seems to be an announcement for a reboot of some 90s TV show or movie every day (hi, Fuller House, The X-Files, and Twin Peaks), we got to thinking what it would be like if Clueless, which is itself loosely based on Jane Austen’s Emma, what would a modern day BevHills Clueless look like with some of today’s hottest and up-and coming actors? Here are our personal picks for Clueless 2.0 – do you agree?

Kiernan Shipka as Cher Horowitz

What Alicia Silverstone was in 1995, Kiernan Shipka is in 2015. A likable blonde teen who looks impossibly polished, but can still pull off the Girl Next Door thing. Plus if you watched Mad Men, you know that Kiernan is such an incredible actress that she would bring out whole new layers in the character.

Besides, when you think about it, Cher Horowitz is the logical extension of a 16-year-old Sally Draper.

Alternate casting: Amandla Stenberg

Zendaya as Dionne Davenport

In real life, Zendaya is a smart, well-spoken, fashionista. Some of the characters she’s played have a bit of sass, and Dionne is kind of a mix between the two Zendayas. Dionne is also a girl who knows who she is and comes across as super confident, without being arrogant, and that’s Zendaya to a T.

Alternate casting: Maia Mitchell

Rowan Blanchard as Tai Frasier

You’re going to need to bear with me on this one. Do you watch Girl Meets World? No, because you’re a grownup? Fine. Maybe you watched Boy Meets World. Rowan plays Cory’s daughter, and she’s the perfect 2015 answer to Cory Matthews. A little awkward, sort of wide-eyed and naive, but above all a smart kid with a heart of gold. Another 90s character that shared those traits: Tai Frasier. She’s a bit younger than the rest of the prospective cast, but so was Brittany Murphy. It made it all the more believable that she was the fish out of (New Jersey) water.

Alternate casting: Maisie Williams

Dylan O’Brien as Josh Lucas

TBH, Paul Rudd could just reprise his role as Josh because THE MAN HAS NEVER AGED. In 20 years, the son of a gun looks exactly the same. But I guess it would be weird if he romanced a teen Kiernan Shipka. I don’t watch Teen Wolf. Nor have I seen The Maze Runner. But I know a good looking teen idol when I see one. Dylan is one of those folks who is part of multiple fandoms and is big on the Internetz (like the Tumblrs and whatnot). He can be charming and romantic and perfect as Josh.

Alternate casting: Gregg Sulkin

Michael B. Jordan as Murray Duvall

Through Friday Night Lights, Parenthood, and Fruitvale Station, we became Michael B. Jordan superfans. To the point where we will cast him in Clueless although his teen years are long past. I mean, having at least one actor in his or her late 20s is a teen movie tradition, right? While we usually see him in dramatic roles, we’d give anything to see the former Vince Howard explain that he shaved his head “cause I’m keeping it real!”

Only problem: somehow, in some way, he’d manage to make us cry. He always does.

Alternate casting: Tyler James Williams (He’s funny. And he grew up!)

Jaden Smith as Elton Tiscia

First of all, Elton has a last name, apparently?

Second, I feel about Jaden Smith the same way you would about a little brother or cousin. I’m sure he’s overall a good kid who will turn into a great grown up, but Lord, do you want to punch him sometimes.

Punchability, I would argue, is the hallmark of Elton Tiscia.

Plus, not that I doubt Jaden’s acting skills, but it wouldn’t be a stretch for him to play a rich kid who’s so used to getting what he wants that he can’t even imagine that Cher isn’t into him.

Bella Thorne as Amber Mariens

It’s not just the red hair. Bella is just so awesome at playing the girl you love to hate, but she could also bring out the genuine wackiness that is Ambular. But even with atrocious hair and outfits, it’s clear that she belongs in Cher’s tier.

Alternate casting: Mae Whitman

Miles Heizer as Travis Birkenstock

Not to typecast, but did you watch Parenthood? Miles is amazing as a sensitive, lovable stoner. I feel like the 90s teen pothead stereotype (Birkenstocks, ponchos) is a bit of a thing of the past. Now Travis would be a more mainstream skater who made up for in heart what he lacked in motivation.

Ezra Miller as Christian Stovitz

Christian needs to be handsome in an old-school way, the kind of debonaire gent that never courts ladies anymore … you know, because he’s not into them. Ezra Miller seems like a natural choice for lovable Rat Pack wannabe Christian. He’s so pretty a teen girl would swoon over him,  but with the same “I don’t care” attitude that makes Cher think he’s playing it cool and taking their relationship slow. Really, really slow.

Alternate casting: Ross Lynch, Asa Butterfield

Hailee Steinfeld as Summer

They didn’t really give Summer much to do, did they? That makes it the perfect role for a bit of stunt casting. The only requirement: that she be traditionally pretty enough that she makes sense in the Noxzema ad that is Cher’s circle of friends. Our pick is Oscar nominee Hailee Steinfeld, a fantastic actress who could maybe hopefully get a few lines this time around. After Pitch Perfect 2, we’d also like to request a song or two.

Alternate Casting: Ariel Winter, Cara Delevingne

Bob Odenkirk as Mr. Horowitz

 

My problem with Dan Hedaya as the OG Mr. Horowitz was that he made me think he had a secret life as a gangster – like Al Capone gangster – in the past. I feel like Cher’s dad of course needs to be stern and strict to a certain point, but also obviously caring for his daughter. Bob Odenkirk, while playing a scummy lawyer on Breaking Bad and Better Call Saul, has a heart to him that can take that gangster feel away. He’s also obviously very funny without even trying, so saying just one line in the dryest of tones will make him a stand out star.

Alternate Casting: Jeff Daniels, Michael Keaton

Leslie Jones as Ms. Stoeger

I love Leslie Jones. If you’re not familiar with her work, you probably don’t watch Saturday Night Live. But get to know her because she’s going to be huge. She’s been in the comedy game for a long time, but didn’t become a more recognised name until she was promoted from writer to cast member on SNL. She’s in the new Ghostbusters movie alongside Kristen Wiig, Melissa McCarthy and Kate McKinnon, so you know if you are in their squad, you have to be able to be just as funny, if not funnier. The role of the Ms. Stoger the gym teacher may be small, but in this fake reboot, it could have potential to be big.

Zach Galifianakis as Mr. Hall and Kristen Wiig as Miss Geist

I would like to say for the record that prior to choosing these two, I totally forgot they have a movie coming out later this year called Masterminds in which they play a couple of dumb criminals. Maybe it was in my subconscious, but let’s just face the facts here – I’m a casting genius. Anyways, 20 years ago, Miss Geist and Mr. Hall were 40ish and 50ish in real life, but as a nine year old, they looked so old to me. In our reboot, I think the way to go is to play up the comedy. If we have a cast of teens who are good at comedy, we need adults like Leslie Jones and Bob Odenkirk to knock it out of the freaking park with jokes. The pairing of Kristen and Zach just makes me laugh looking at them and thinking of what could possibly come out of their mouths when paired up together. Kristen also plays shy well, and Zach can play shy confidence. It’s a match made in blog fake movie heaven.

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A Clueless Drinking/ Workout Game: Suck And Blow And Buns Of Steel

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Clueless is the movie that taught us about drinking games – suck and blow, anyone? We may have been too young to really get what was going on when Clueless came out 20 years ago. But now anyone who can remember when Clueless was a new hit movie is, by default, over 21. That means we can play the drinking games now! As always, drink responsibly and legally, and feel free to substitute in a non-alcoholic beverage.

If your buns don’t feel nothin’ like steel, or you have some freeways to accidentally merge onto after this, do our workout version instead!

One Sip OR One Set of Mountain Climbers (* A set is what you say is a set!)

  • The phrase “way harsh” is uttered.

  • A main character rocks anything plaid.
  • Dionne and Murray fight.
  • Cher flips her hair.
  • Any time Paul Rudd is hot. This is subjective but you may find yourself drinking a lot.

  • Josh gazes lovingly at Cher.
  • Cher mispronounces something.

  • A character plays sensitive ’90s music – two sips if they sing along (turn away, turn awayayayay…).
  • You spot a “only in the mid-90s” pop culture reference that escaped you before (Kato Kaelin, Travis’s last name is Birkenstock, etc).

One Huge Gulp OR One Set Of Bicep Curls

  • Elton outwardly flirts or gets too handsy with Cher.
  • The kids talk like grownups.
  • When you see Lucy the Maid physically afraid of Mr. Horowitz
  • Dionne and Murray make up.
  • Cher actually says/uses a big word correctly.
  • Josh is eating something (extra sip if it’s weird).
  • You spot product placement with packaging you haven’t seen for over a decade (Coke cans, Minute Maid juice boxes, etc).
  • Any references to Miss Stoeger’s sexual orientation – subtle or explicit.

Take a Shot OR One Set Of Bicycle Crunches

  • You or someone watching with you says “As If” in sync with Cher.
  • An “adult” character looks young to you.
  • A “teenaged” extra is clearly 30 yrs old… meaning that now, they are 50.
  • A person collapses a cell phone antenna. Remember having to do that? [The cell phone use is one of the reasons Clueless almost seems like it could have been released today, but I remember at the time it was revolutionary that all these rich kids had their own cells.]
  • Josh references not-for-profits, either in words or via t-shirt.
  • A teen driver’s eyes aren’t on the road.
  • There is a plastic surgery reference.
  • You spot a scrunchie in the wild.

Pour A Little Out For Your Homie OR Sun Salute

  • You remember that Brittany Murphy died and get sad about it all over again.

Chug OR Two Sets Of Burpees

  • Cher crashes into something while driving.
  • Cher makes a literary reference – extra sip if it almost makes sense.clueless

 

  • A person is wearing pleather or crunchy plastic.
  • Makeover!

  • A character references ’90s pop psychology (For instance, Men Are From Mars, Women Are From Venus, or body language – anyone else still interpret “legs crossed toward each other” as an “unequivocal sex invite?”).
  • Christian references ’50s culture.
  • Cher is wearing an unnecessary sheer layer.
  • You spy french tip nails.
  • Elton is wearing a chunky wool sweater, or otherwise looks like a fall Brooks Brothers catalog. In Southern California.
  • Drugs. And you didn’t realize they were drugs as a child.
  • Any signs Christian was gay … extra sip if you missed it as a child or youth (like that he isn’t talking/looking at any other girl).

Playlist of the Month: Break Out The Cassettes, It’s 1995

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We’re smack dab in the middle of Clueless Week, and to help you get more in the mood of 20 years ago – and get through hump day – today, we’re transporting you back two decades with the power of music.

Songs have this ability to bring you back to a certain time and event in your life, whether it be good or bad. As I was compiling this playlist, I realized that 1995 was one of the first years I became a *fan* of music and certain artists, as opposed to just singing along with songs on the radio. For better or worse, the songs I heard in 1995 helped form my musical tastes today, and help me reminisce about my younger years when my extent of my worries was weather Mrs. Green was going to be in a good mood in class that day or not.

So here are some of our favorite tunes to bring you back to the Clueless era, and get ready to play them on your new-fangled computers and streaming services.

Enjoy the entire playlist on Spotify HERE!

Traci’s Picks

Another Night by Real McCoy

Kids, dance music was big in the 90s. Not EDM music of today with your Calvin Harrises and Aviciis and Tiestos. But electronica, Euro-inspired dance music that The Night at the Roxbury guys would groove to in the clubs. It’s a sound that’s so specifically 90s, and I remember this legitimately being my favorite song that I would write down in personality tests.

This Is How We Do It by Montell Jordan

Although this was arguably Montell Jordan’s biggest hit in 1995, I would also argue that it’s a hip-hop classic, and also one of my go-to karaoke songs.

Switch by TLC

CrazySexyCool/Waterfalls was one of the biggest albums of the 90s, with the record over two years on the Billboard album charts. It was a career-defining CD for the ladies, and was basically a soundtrack to my life when I was a kid. In fifth grade, me and three of my friends decided to enter our school talent show, and we decided to do a dance to this B-Side track. As we were practicing in my friend’s basement, I suggested someone move forward during Left Eye’s rap and basically lip sync to it. Since it was my idea, I had to do it. We got like second or third place. I believe we lost to a male-cousin team who lip synced to Ike and Tina Turner’s Proud Mary. One of them was dressed in drag. This was 5th grade.

Always Be My Baby by Mariah Carey

I think I was first introduced to Mariah when I procured Music Box on cassette, and I subsequently got Daydream – I want to say by borrowing it from the library? Anyways, I listened to it non-stop, and Always Be My Baby was probably my fave jam out of hit after hit on that record. Can we just get this Mariah back, please?

Head Over Feet by Alanis Morissette

For a long period of time, I used to tell people the first CD I ever bought was Alanis Morissette’s Jagged Little Pill. It was a stock answer for anyone around my age, because that’s how big of an album it was. In reality, the first CD I ever bought was Weird Al Yankovic’s Bad Hair Day, strictly because of his parody of Coolio’s Gangster’s Paradise – Amish Paradise. I thought I was cool. Jagged Little Pill was actually a Christmas gift in ’95, and when I eventually got around to listening to it, turns out it wasn’t that bad.

Honorable Mentions: Peaches by The Presidents of the United States of America, Stay by Lisa Loeb, One of Us by Joan Osborne

 Molly’s Picks

Wonderwall by Oasis

I was so young, I didn’t even know that none of this made sense.  Radio was more segmented in 1995 (before it was all, like, radio conglomerates?) so you had your station that strictly played “alternative” versus those that played pop. It was really tough for us fourth graders who were really into Mariah AND Oasis trying to hover in front of the radio with a cassette tape to record our favorite songs.

Gangsta’s Paradise by Coolio

I was obsessed with this song. And like Traci, I was even MORE into Amish Paradise. I thought Weird Al was hilarious, and what can I say, I was going through a phase where I thought the Amish were awesome. But in real life, I lived in a city neighborhood. Some might even call it a Gangsta’s Paradise. By the way, watch Dangerous Minds – the movie this is from – for a very different perspective on 1995 teens than you get in Clueless.

Life, In A Nutshell by Barenaked Ladies

Barenaked Ladies were huge in our area, and with my sibs especially. I’m still jealous that one of my brothers got to hang out with them backstage, and it’s been 15 years. The 1994 album Maybe You Should Drive is filled with 90s nuggets like Alternative Girlfriend (referencing a girl in an all-girl band who has a second-hand futon), Jane (mentioning the fairytale romance between … Juliana Hatfield and Evan Dando, of course. What, you don’t remember that love story for the ages? Evan “Lemonheads” Dando!), and Life, In A Nutshell.

Big Poppa by Notorious B.I.G.

You can’t talk about mid-90s music without mentioning the big players in the rap game: Biggie and Tupac. You know what’s kind of amazing? How old-school 80s, early 90s rap had evolved to this by 1995, and it still sounds like it could be released today, maybe minus the synth.

Here Comes The Hotstepper by Ini Kamoze

I am including this strictly so that I can explain that I just learned last year that the lyrics are NOT “I’m the leprechaun gangster.” But for some cultural context, the horror movie Leprechaun was released in ’93 and leprechauns in general were much more intimidating in the ’90s.

Also, I just learned that this song is called Here Comes The Hotstepper now. Right now. While making this playlist.

Honorable Mentions: Don’t Take It Personal by Monica, Run-Around by Blues Traveler, I Believe by Blessid Union Of Souls, Roll To Me by Del Amitri (I just learned ~5 years ago that it’s not “the right time, the wrong me”), Waterfalls by TLC, Fantasy by Mariah  … I can’t stop. I could list every song from 1995. What a year.
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Not Ensembly Challenged: Still-Wearable Clueless Fashion

Posted in Entertainment, Outfit Girl by

If you want to know how teens dressed in the 90s, just watch Clueless. Sort of. Not the main characters – nobody really dressed like that. No, next time, keep your eye on the background players. The unflattering jeans, the scrunchies, the awkwardly cut shirts – those were the true Kids In America, 1995.

Because Cher, Dionne, and friends were basically cartoons of the most extreme mid-90s teen style, most of their clothes would look ridiculous today. Heck, most of them looked ridiculous in ’95. That was kind of the point. But now that the 90s have circled back into fashion there are some looks that would look just as fresh today as they did 20 years ago. Wear these, and you will not have to choose between identifying as fashion victim or ensembly challenged.

Cher’s Pajamas


I can’t find a better shot of them, but I want these fresh-as-a-daisy crop top pajamas right now.

Cher’s Grade Change Outfit

The perfect simple, preppy, tennis-y outfit. Not that Cher played tennis.

Tai’s Post-Makeover, Picture-In-Elton’s Locker Outfit

There’s a lot of plaid in Clueless. Much of it unwearable. But this – this is adorable, and honestly very typical of 90s teens. (Source: when Clueless came out I was 8 and lived with the next-coolest thing to a unicorn for an 8-year-old girl – a teenage sister who sometimes let me hang out when her friends were over). Not so wearable: Ambular’s … outfit… thing.

Dionne’s Multicolored Extensions

Between Stacey Dash’s general agelessness and the popularity of colorful yarn braids, it’s hard to believe that this isn’t 2015. Seriously, how amazing does she look?

The Alaia

Along with the yellow plaid outfit, this is Cher’s iconic look (thanks for nothing, Iggy Azalea, haven’t you done enough?). The wacky feather-trimmed jacked should probably stay at a val party in 1995 where it belongs, though.

Dionne’s Layered Necklaces

If you look closely, Dionne has these layered gold necklaces – a cross and some kind of pendant – that she wears in a few scenes. Very 2K15 appropriate.

Cher’s Post- Hall/Geist Setup Celebration Outfit

I know I said that there’s a lot of plaid, and, well, there IS a lot of plaid. But this is the cutest outfit and brings together so many of the mid 90s looks I remember: the 70s minidress revival, prep (knee socks!), plaid, and unnecessary hats.

Cher’s Gym Class Outfit

I could never wear the tank top over a tee without looking like a Sister Wife, but this puts all the stupid, schlubby t-shirts and sweats I wore to gym class to shame. See also: an early prototype of the cell phone case. Amber, stop.

Cher And Dionne’s Outfits When Tai Is Wearing Farmer Clothes

Empire waists were a big deal – even for kids. ONe of my school concert outfits had a bow just like Cher’s and I thought I was so cool. Sportswear was also a big deal, a la Dionne’s amazing black and hot pink ensemble. And Tai… well, Tai. Troll dolls were in, what can I say. Also the girl in the background is wearing a shirt with this weird-shaped flower that was for some reason ubiquitous.

Cher’s Dress. Says who? Calvin Klein.

Another 90s trend, though you may not believe it from this movie: minimalism. A lot of plain tank tops, Gap staples, basic scoop-necked wedding gowns – a subdued reaction to the wackiness that was the late 80s and early 90s. This dress is perfectly on-trend and still looks lovely, especially without that sheer thing she drapes over it.

Cher’s Emma-Inspired Shopping Dress

This dress! There’s the minimalism and empire waist we talked about before. Is the waistline a nod to the Jane Austen era since Clueless is loosely based on Emma?

Dionne’s Wedding Hair

Before the flower crown, there was the flower everywhere. Why do I bet that if you walked into Claire’s or The Icing, 90% of the stock is the same as it was when I was 8 and Clueless was king?

Clueless-isms: A 90s Glossary

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When Clueless came out in 1995, we were in fourth grade – so eight and nine years old. I don’t think I watched the movie until a couple years later, but even then, I regarded the film as the epitome of coolness. Lit’rally the word ‘coolness’, because that was a word I used in excess back then. It featured pretty people, in a lavish California neighborhood, and high school seemed like the furthest thing from my Catholic school upbringing. In sixth grade, my friends and I even decided to assume roles of Clueless characters (for fun?), with the blonde girl being Cher, the cute kid as Elton, and obviously, I played Summer the Asian chick.

But watching it as a tween is way different than watching it as an adult, mainly because there are a lot of references and lines I glossed over as a kid, that make me think, ‘How is this appropriate for a child??’ now (remember the bong scene? Yeah, you might not because you DIDN’T KNOW IT WAS A BONG.) Not only that, but times have changed in two decades. The pop culture refs made in 1995 aren’t the same ones made in 2015. So whether you’re in or nearing your 30s or new to the Clueless culture, we’ve created a handy glossary to help you understand just what they’re talking about in this iconic film.

Tai: “Wow you guys talk like grown-ups.”

Cher: “Well this is a very good school.”

The 411 {noun}

Definition: The information, details

Context: “Here’s the 411 on Mr. Hall: he’s single, he’s 47, and he earns minor duckets for a thankless job.”

Audi {verb}

Screenshot 2015-07-08 22.47.25

Definition: Leaving, exiting. Not to be confused with ‘Outie’, which is also a thing 90s kids also said.

Context: Cher: “Dee, I’m Audi.” Dionne: “Bye.”

Baldwin {proper noun}

Definition: A handsome man; inspired by the Baldwin brothers (Alec, Stephen, Billy, etc. in the 90s, when they were at their prime)

Context: “OK, OK, so he is kind of a Baldwin.”

Barneys and Bettys {noun}

Screenshot 2015-07-08 22.51.16

Definition: Derived from The Flintstones, a Betty is a hot girl, while a Barney, is a dumber, less attractive guy.

Context: Wasn’t Cher’s mom a total Betty?

Cake boy {noun}

Definition: A gay man

Context: “Your man Christian is a cake boy… He’s a disco-dancing, Oscar Wilde -reading, Streisand-ticket-holding friend of Dorothy. Know what I’m saying?”

Cher and Dionne {proper nouns}

Definition: Cher is named after Cher and Dionne after Dionne Warwick, both pop stars who later used their celebrity to peddle goods on TV informercials.

Context: I can’t not watch Dionne Warwick’s Psychic Friends Network infomercial when it’s on at 3am.

Contempo Casuals {proper noun}

Definition: Young female teen retail store with low budget yet fashionable clothing.

Context: Meet me in Contempo Casual, I need to buy a new set of butterfly clips and tank tops.

The Cranberries {proper noun}

Definition: Irish rock band who were super popular in the 1990s

Context: “I can’t find my Cranberries CD I need to go to the quad before somebody steals it.”

Jeepin’ {verb}

Definition: Cheating on yo’ boo; sexin’ in the back of a car

Context: Murray: “Where you been all weekend? What’s up? You been Jeepin’ around behind my back?”

Kato Kaelin {proper noun}

Definition: An actor who was staying at O.J. Simpson’s guest house when his wife Nicole Brown Simpson was murdered at their house in 1994. He was subsequently a witness during O.J.’s infamous trial, and known for his rambling and inconsistent testimonies, and a constant target as a freeloader in the media.

Context: “He’s not your dad, Why don’t you torture a new family?” “Just because my mother marries someone else, it doesn’t mean he’s my father.” “Actually, Kato, that’s exactly what it means.”

Monet {proper noun}

Definition: A person who seems to be attractive from far away until you see them up close.

Context: “It’s like a painting, see? From far away, it’s OK, but up close, it’s a big old mess.”

Noxzema {proper noun}

Definition: A popular skin cleanser popular with teens, known in the 90s for its friend-heavy commercials

Context: “Cher and her friends look like a Noxema commercial with all the fun they’re having in that waterfall rn.”

Pauly Shore {proper noun}

Definition: Pauly Shore was a popular comedian in the 90s, but his movies were critically panned, including films like Encino Man, Son-In-Law and Bio-Dome.

Context: Pauly Shore movies are horrible.

Ren and Stimpy {proper noun}

Screenshot 2015-07-08 23.47.06

Definition: A cult yet controversial cartoon series about a dog and cat that aired on Nickelodeon in the early 90s.

Context:  Josh: “I can’t believe I’m taking advice from someone who watches cartoons.” Cher: “That’s Ren and Stimpy. They’re way existential.”

Tree People {proper noun}/ Marky Mark

http://www.buzzfeed.com/leonoraepstein/clueless-references-you-missed-as-a-kid#.to0vW9jp2

Definition: A environmental advocacy group based in Los Angeles/ Marky Mark and the Funky Bunch = Mark Wahlberg’s rap persona in the 90s. Good Vibrations, y’all.

Context: Josh: “Actually, I’m going to a tree people meeting. Me might get Marky Mark to plant a celebrity tree.” Cher: “Getting Marky Mark to take time from his busy pants-dropping schedule to plant trees? Josh, why don’t you just hire a gardener?”

Twin Peaks {proper noun}

Definition: The creepy, cult, thriller series from David Lynch based around the mystery of a young woman’s murder in a small town in Washington.

Context: Elton’s being a little creepy by having Tai’s picture hanging up in his locker.

What’s Love Got To Do With It {proper noun}

Definition: The 1993 biopic loosely based on Tina Turner and ex-husband Ike Turner’s turbulent relationship.

Context: Dionne and her boyfriend, Murray are in this dramatic relationship… why do you put up with it? You could do so much better.

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My Fantasy Comic-Con

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Nerds unite! San Diego’s annual Comic-Con kicks off today, and thousands of folks are swarming the city to talk comic books, graphic novels, TV shows, TV shows based on comic books, movies, movies based on comic books and more. I personally am not one to enjoy big crowds and waiting in line for hours, so I don’t get the appeal. Ironically, I am in San Diego on a visit for pleasure, and am an idiot for picking the one week to go to SD when lit’rally everyone else is here. But that’s besides the point.

If Comic-Con was smaller and involved more things I liked, I would totally be for it. So if you’re waiting in line for whatever is in Hall H right now, take a minute to read my ideal line-up for a personalized Comic-Con, because let’s face it, you’re gonna be there for a while anyways, so why not read our blog?!

Orphan Black

I know there’s already going to be a bunch of OB events throughout the weekend, but what if there was one panel that was just Tatiana Maslany, and she would pretend to be everyone. Including all the clones and her fellow cast members. This might not be physically possible, but it is Comic-Con, everyone has an imagination there, right?

HBIC

Every year, Entertainment Weekly holds a Women Who Kick Ass panel, featuring ladies who do a particularly good job of showing people who’s boss with their physical and mental prowess. Similarly, I propose a HBIC panel (that’s Head Bitch In Charge for you plebs), expanding the list of women who not only kick ass in entertainment, but who also exude qualities of great leadership, a positive role model, and is an all-around BO$$. Panelists include, but are not limited to: Emma Watson, Tatiana Maslany, Scarlett Johansson, Jennifer Lawrence, Amy Poehler, Julia Louis-Dreyfus, Kerry Washington, Mindy Kaling.

Sizzling Superheroes

Like Magic Mike, but of the superhero world. Including Chris Pratt, Michael B. Jordan, RDJ, Chris Evans, basically all the Avengers.

Heroes Season 1

Remember how good Heroes was? Specifically the first season? I’m not particularly attracted to sci-fi shows until a bunch of other people tell me to watch it. However, Heroes had the added value of Milo Ventimiglia being in it, of course from Gilmore Girls fame. I quickly became one of the millions of other viewers who became obsessed with the show and even managed to stay with it until the end, despite basically hate-watching it. If the cast of the first season could just come together and talk about that and maybe the WGA Strike second season, that would be ideal.

Teen Witch

I watched this 1989 classic for the first time a couple years ago, and I fell in love with it. It captures the essence of the ridiculous fashion sense of the time, the corniness of teen romances, and there’s also a horrible/amazing rap scene. If you haven’t seen it, do yourself a favor and get acquainted with it. But in a nutshell Louise (Robyn Lively/Blake’s older sister) turns 16 and gets magical powers, and has to decide if she wants to use them for good. It’s been just over 25 years since the movie came out, and it’s been a cult hit ever since. I don’t necessarily need a sequel, I just want to see what these folks think of its popularity all these years later.

Pushing Daisies

Pushing Daisies was a short-lived, three-season show that found a cult following, but not big enough for it to stay on the air. It was romantic, critically acclaimed, well acted, and unique, perhaps so much so that it was too high-concept for the viewers at ABC and middle-America to follow. The main plot is that pie-maker Ned (the wonderful Lee Pace) has the ability to bring things and people back to life with his touch. It definitely falls under the Cancelled Too Soon category, and perhaps bringing the cast back together can muster up some sort of Netflix mini-series event?

Are You Afraid of the Dark?

I’m not gonna lie to y’all – Are You Afraid of the Dark? actually managed to scare me. I played it off when I was talking about it in school, but in reality, I could basically only watch the campsite scenes and parts of the ‘reenactments’. What’s impressive about the show is that it’s been a pop culture staple in many millennials’ lives, whether you were frightened or not, and because we tend to forget details as children, many of us may not know that there were a lot of now-stars to get their start on the show. People like Elisha Cuthbert, JoAnna Garcia Swisher, Vanessa Lengies and Clueless TV star Rachel Blanchard were all in the Midnight Society, while guest stars included Ryan Gosling, Neve Campbell, Hayden Christensen, Jay Baruchel and Emily VanCamp. Let’s get all those folks together with a fire and some sand, shall we?

The Event

watermarks be damned – this pic still makes my brain explode

Did I watch this show because our best friend Scott Patterson was in it? Yes. Was it weird to me that two of Lauren Graham’s former onscreen gentleman callers (Scott/Luke and Jason Ritter/Mr. Cyr from Parenthood)? Yes. Do I want this to be a panel at comic-Con just so they can explain to me the plot of the show? Also yes.

Early Edition

Coach Taylor before he was Coach Taylor, when most of the masses were introduced to the extreme talent that is Kyle Chandler. This was one of the shows I probably was a little too young to watch, but luckily for CBS, the only things I really remember about the show are Kyle Chandler getting the newspaper a day early, the blind woman, and a cat. Plus, any excuse to be in the presence of Kyle Chandler is worth it. PS – you can watch full episodes on the YouTube!

Community

Because #SixSeasonsAndAMovieAndAComicConPanel

Pretty Little Liars

Stop fucking around and just get to who Charles/-A is and WHY and HOW he is tormenting these high schoolers.

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