Best Spoken of the 2017 SAG Awards: Actors Take On The #MuslimBan

Whether you were watching last night’s Screen Actors Guild Awards, or were tuned into the other breaking news instead, I think you’ll understand why we decided to forego the Best Dressed post. We would have loved to talk about outfits and we’re sure all those actors would have loved to talk about their “craft,” but here we all are, in strange times. An actor’s opinion is no more qualified than any other individual’s and we don’t wish to imply that. However, events like the SAG awards give actors a platform most of the rest of us don’t have, and we were pleased to see that many celebrities made good use of their soapboxes. Here are some of our favorites, in no particular order:

Mahershala Ali [Moonlight]

“I think what I’ve learned from working on Moonlight is we see what happened when you persecute people – they fold into themselves. And what I was so grateful about in having the opportunity to play Juan was playing a gentlemen who saw a young man folding into himself as a result of the persecution of his community, and taking the opportunity to uplift him and tell him that he mattered, that he was okay, and accept him. I hope that we do a better job of that.”

“When we kind of get caught up in the minutiae, the details that make us different, I think there’s two ways of seeing that — there’s an opportunity to see the texture of that person, the characteristics that make them unique, and then there’s an opportunity to go to war about it, and to say that that person is different from me, and I don’t like you, so let’s battle.”

“My mother is an ordained minister, I’m a Muslim. She didn’t do backflips when I called her to tell her I converted 17 years ago. But I tell you now, you put things to the side. And I’m able to see her, and she’s able to see me. We love each other and the love has grown. And that stuff is minutiae. It’s not that important.”

Taraji P. Henson [Hidden Figures]

“This film is about unity. … The shoulders of the women that we stand on are three American heroes: Katherine Johnson, Dorothy Vaughan and Mary Jackson. Without them, we would not know how to reach the stars.”

“These women did not complain about the problems, the circumstances, the issues. We know what was going on in that era. They didn’t complain. They focused on solutions. Therefore, these brave women helped put men into space.”

“We cannot forget the brave men who also worked with us. God rest his soul in peace, John Glenn. ”

“This story is about unity. This story is about what happens when we put our differences aside, and we come together as a human race. We win. Love wins every time. Thank you so much for appreciating the work we’ve done, thank you so much for appreciating these women. They are hidden figures no more!”

David Harbour [Stranger Things]

“In light of all that’s going on in the world today, it’s difficult to celebrate the already celebrated Stranger Things. But this award from you, who take your craft seriously and earnestly believe, like me, that great acting can change the world, is a call to arms from our fellow craftsmen and women to go deeper, and through our art to battle against fear, self-centeredness, and exclusivity of our predominantly narcissistic culture and through our craft, cultivate a more empathetic and understanding society by revealing intimate truths that serve as a forceful reminder to folks that when they feel broken and afraid and tired, they are not alone.”

“We are united, in that we are all human beings, and we are all together on this horrible, painful, joyous, exciting, and mysterious ride that is being alive. Now, as we act in the continuing narrative of Stranger Things, we 1983 Midwesterners will repel bullies. We will shelter freaks and outcasts — those who have no hope. We will get past the lies. We will hunt monsters. And when we are at a loss amidst the hypocrisy and casual violence of certain individuals and institutions, we will, as per Chief Jim Hopper, punch some people in the face when they seek to destroy the meek and the disenfranchised and the marginalized. And we will do it all with soul, with heart, and with joy. We thank you for this responsibility.”

Julia Louis Dreyfus [Veep]

“Whether the Russians did or did not hack the voting of tonight’s SAG Awards, I look out on the million or probably even million and a half people in this room and I say this award is legitimate and I won! I’m the winner, the winner is me, landslide!” …

“I want you all to know that I am the daughter of an immigrant. My father fled religious persecution in Nazi-occupied France, and I’m an American patriot, and I love this country, and because I love this country I am horrified by its blemishes. This immigrant ban is a blemish and it is un-American. So I say to you this: Our sister guild, the WGA, made a statement today that I would like to read because I am in complete agreeance with it.”

“ ‘Our guilds are unions of storytellers who always welcomed those from the nations of varying beliefs who wish to share their creativity with America. We are grateful for them. We stand with them. And we will fight for them.’ ”

Sarah Paulson [The People Vs. O.J. Simpson]

… “Any money you have to spare, please donate to the ACLU. It’s a vital organization that relies entirely on our support.”

[Note: as someone who has logged plenty of volunteer hours with a local refugee settlement/services organization and in pro bono legal services, I’d also add that it would be great to look at what organizations are doing work in your own back yard. -m]


Like we said: actors aren’t the only people speaking up. They aren’t necessarily the most qualified spokespeople, either. But they ARE concerned citizens using the platforms that they have available to them to say what they feel needs to be said. It’s a reminder that all of us can and should work within our personal spheres of influence and capitalize on our own connections or expertise. And for the love of God, let’s get things back to being okay soon. We’d like this one to be an outfit post next year.

 

Things We Need to Revisit From the 2016 Emmy Awards

The 68th Annual Primetime Emmy Awards were last night and per usual, there were a lot of highlights and lowlights of the ceremony. But unexpectedly, a lot of our favorites took home the gold, and that’s why they helped make the Emmys one to remember. Here are some moments that we need to revisit today, and many days after today.

Stranger Things Kids Continue To Be Totally Rad

T: Handing out PB&J sandwiches on bicycles was an OK touch, but letting Gaten, Millie and Caleb take the stage to show their true talents of singing and dancing is the real win.

M: These kids are so pure and delightful I almost want to send them to 1983 to grow up there.

Hillary Clinton Wins An Emmy

T: Cue the first tears of the night. I legitimately rewound this reaction shot three times in a row right after it happened, and continue to be mesmerized by this GIF. Her speech was a tear jerker, but there was a cynical part of me that had me thinking… Kate truly deserved this for her performances this year, right? Listen, I love Kate and think she does great work on SNL, but part of me feels like Emmy voters partially gave the win to her because of Ghostbusters? Call it the Melissa McCarthy Effect. Remember when she won an Emmy the year she was in Bridesmaids? Yeah. But again, Kate is super talented and deserves all the praise she can get.

M: Kate is one of those SNL cast members who I noticed from her very first weeks and predicted that she’d be one of the great ones. She’s just that obviously good.

President of Tears

T: Did anybody else notice JLD didn’t seem herself when she got up to accept her award? She was shaky and looked like she wasn’t even planning a bit  – then it all made sense when she talked about her dad. Out of her six acting Emmy wins, I feel like this might be her most memorable.

M: After her speech, I remembered how sad she looked at the end of Kate’s speech and it was right when Kate had mentioned her dad. I know we say this a lot, but we just love JLD.

Score one for Long Duck Dong

T: In all seriousness, I am so so glad Aziz and Master of None co-creator/writer Alan Yang won for Best Writing. I wrote about the episode they won for, Parents, last year, and I’m just glad Emmy voters and viewers alike paid enough attention to a show which features so much diversity and the untold stories of first generation kids. My only gripe is that Aziz didn’t get to give his speech at all.

You Turkeys

T: Remember how our beloved Amy finally won her very first Emmy last week? Well she did, and she’s sharing it with her color-coordinating comedy wife Tina, and we were #blessed with their presence last night. Ever more #blessed that Amy called them out for nominating her 18 times without ever giving her a legit trophy.

M: They coordinated their dresses, right? I just think it’s really cute if they coordinated their dresses.

Sarah Paulson + Holland Taylor 4Ever

T: There was a time when these two didn’t publicly acknowledge each other as their significant others, and here we are, living in a world where all of the Internet can swoon in jealousy over their love. Yes, Sarah was for sure the right person to win an Emmy, but another thing I know for sure – I have a new ship.

M: I think we’ve had a WCW post about Sarah Paulson in our drafts for like a year and I’m not even sure which one of us did it.  I love that after years of working steadily, Sarah’s had this massive boost in her career lately.

Fred Armisen? More Like FredArminstein

T: Fred showed up in a hearse. And with bolts in his neck. Never change, man.

M: The “Armenstein” joke was cute, Traci.

Leslie Jones Slays All Day

T: You gotta give it up for Leslie Jones who continues to get back up every time assholes attempt to knock her down. And when she does get back up, she laughs it off and makes all of us laugh with her.

Bill Cosby Isn’t Here

M: Jimmy announced that Bill Cosby was coming on stage and Tina Fey was all of us:

So was Ellie Kemper:

Don’t worry, Bill Cosby wasn’t there.

How Do You Like Them Apples?

T: Matt Damon continues to ruin Jimmy Kimmel’s life. As soon as he came out eating that apple, I KNEW he was going to make a Good Will Hunting Reference.

Oh, We’re ALL Seeing This, Rami

T: I don’t watch Mr. Robot, but I did watch Rami in the one episode of Gilmore Girls, and he is great. I refer to Molly for this one.

M: Thanks, Traci. Okay here we go:

Mr. Robot is a show you should be watching if you aren’t already (I’m going to specifically recommend it to fans of Orphan Black). There’s this incredible ensemble cast but the whole thing rests on how amazing Rami Malek is. His character has a tenuous grip on reality, but he’s also broken and kind and incredibly intelligent – miles away from the “complex lonely guy” archetype. IRL, Rami just seems like a real gem of a human in addition to being good-looking and all that. His cousin was his Emmys date, he really loves his mom, and he interrupted an actor roundtable because everyone kept using male pronouns when discussing directors. He deserved to win and I’m so happy for him. PS he has a twin brother. Back to you, Traci.

Give TatMas 12 Emmys For Each Clone Pls

T: I can barely look at any videos or pix or GIFs or tweets from her co-stars because I start to tear up. I am so proud of this talented angel of a human in a way I would be proud if one of my nearest and dearest won an award.

M: I was so used to Tatiana not even getting nominated that I didn’t think she would win (SHOULD win, yes). I almost feel like she went so long without a nomination/win because she’s so amazing: as though voters who don’t watch the show couldn’t really understand that she was playing all of these characters, and none of them a caricature.

It was such a blur after she won that I had to rewatch her speech Monday morning because I forgot what she even said.

Also, we love Canadians.

Also also, she and her boyfriend are very cute:

 

A few Best Dressed faves:

Kerry Washington in Brandon Maxwell
ARE YOU KIDDING ME??? THIS HOT MAMA. THE DRESS, THE HAIR, THE BUMP?! I wish to look like her any day of the week.

ARE YOU KIDDING ME??? THIS HOT MAMA. THE DRESS, THE HAIR, THE BUMP?! I wish to look like her any day of the week.

Kristen Bell in Zuhair Murad
It's like if Princess Anna was a modern day TV star and nominated for Best Actress in a Limited Series.

It’s like if Princess Anna was a modern day TV star and nominated for Best Actress in a Limited Series.

Yara Shahidi in Clara Rotescu

I don’t watch black-ish, but I am kind of obsessed with Yara? She seems like such a poised, smart, talented young lady who is ready to become a role model to girls (and women) of all backgrounds. This dress is perfect for a 16-year-old who’s still young and playful but also an actress on the verge of being a grown-up. Also, she’s the type of stunning that makes you feel like a creep because you’ve been stalking her on Insta for too long what

Priyanka Chopra in Jason Wu
I mean, come on.  I love how this plays off of the diaphanous, one-shoulder trend that's been going on for a few awards seasons but puts it in vibrant color.

I mean, come on. I love how this plays off of the diaphanous, one-shoulder trend that’s been going on for a few awards seasons but puts it in vibrant color.

Rami Malek in Dior
White dinner jackets have made a comeback in the past few years and with the new slimmer tailoring, they're not looking like your dad's wedding outfit from 1975. IMO, black pants are crucial to keep it from looking like a first communion suit.

White dinner jackets have made a comeback in the past few years and with the new slimmer tailoring, they’re not looking like your dad’s wedding outfit from 1975. IMO, black pants are crucial to keep it from looking like a first communion suit.

Sarah Paulson in Prada
We all have those celebs who are hit-or-miss for us on the red carpet (Kerry, Kirsten, I'm looking at you). Sarah Paulson is one of mine, but when she looks incredible she looks really incredible. I love a nice vibrant green and Sarah, Tina and Amy were looking like the queens of the Emerald City last night. There are so few times you can wear a gown embroidered in crystals and stones, you know?

We all have those celebs who are hit-or-miss for us on the red carpet (Kerry, Kirsten, I’m looking at you). Sarah Paulson is one of mine, but when she looks incredible she looks really incredible. I love a nice vibrant green and Sarah, Tina and Amy were looking like the queens of the Emerald City last night. There are so few times you can wear a gown embroidered in crystals and stones, you know?

 

Wiki-Wiki-Whattt? : OJ Simpson Key Player Facts I Learned Online

Show of hands for everyone who watched The People v. O.J. Simpson: American Crime Story on Tuesday night?? Great. Most of you. You’re not alone. 5.1 million viewers also watched the premiere of the latest true crime addiction, and guys, it’s worth it. People from their late 20s up probably remember the OJ Simpson case clearly, since it was covered by the media in excess from 1994 to 1995. As for me, I don’t necessarily remember being glued to the trial since I was nine years old, but I do remember my 4th grade social studies teacher Ms. Reinhardt bringing in one of those TVs on a large rolling cart on October 3rd, 1995, the day the verdict came out. I remember her saying something akin to, “This is an important moment in U.S. history, we’re going to watch this.” And we did. And she was right. 20 years later, America is still compelled to the story, and it’s just as intriguing as ever.

But seeing as how we were kids when this first came into the public eye, I didn’t exactly understand or know all the facts. I also didn’t care enough to do more research on the people with Encarta. But now that the Internet exists, specifically Wikipedia, finding facts about this case and the folks in it is as easy as pie. While I was watching Tuesday’s episode, I was switching between Wiki and IMDb needing more info. Here are some surprising facts about the key players in the OJ Simpson trial that I found out thanks to my extensive Internet research. What a time to be alive.

Robert Shapiro

Role in Case: OJ Simpson’s defense lawyer

Played by: John Travolta

Wiki-Wiki-What?: Is the co-founder of ShoeDazzle.com, an online fashion subscription service that you probably know from annoying pop-ups on your Internet journey. He is also the voice of, and pictured in, the TV commercials for LegalZoom, the online legal technology company he co-founded in 2001.

Johnnie Cochran

Role in Case: OJ Simpson’s defense lawyer

Played by: Courtney B. Vance

Wiki-Wiki-What?: A month after his victory with OJ, Johnnie scored another big legal win with another high-profile client – Tupac Shakur. In early 1995, Tupac had been sentenced to 1 1/2 to 4 1/2 years at New York’s Riker’s Island prison stemming from a 1993 sexual assault case. Thanks to Johnnie’s help, Tupac was released after Death Row Records execs put up some of the $1.4 million bail. Tupac would be killed a year later.

Robert Kardashian

Role in Case: OJ Simpson’s defense lawyer/ BFF

Played by: David Schwimmer

Wiki-Wiki-What?: He definitely doesn’t have any famous family members LOLOL Ok but frreal,in 1973, Robert co-founded a trade publication called Radio & Records that provided news and airplay information for the radio and music industries. It was used as a ref for a number of countdown shows throughout the years, including Casey Kasem’s American Top 40, Solid Gold, and Rick Dees Weekly Top 40. It was relaunched as a sister trade to Billboard and had its final issue in 2009.

F. Lee Bailey

Role in Case: OJ Simpson’s defense lawyer

Played by: Nathan Lane

Wiki-Wiki-What?: He served as the defense lawyer for Patty Hearst in 1976, when the 19-year-old newspaper heiress was on trial for committing armed bank robberies under the control of the Symbionese Liberation Army (cray revolutionary/terrorist group). They kidnapped her, sexually assaulted and brainwashed her, hence the robberies.  Bailey failed to win the case, and Patty was sentenced to seven years in prison. Almost two years later, President Carter commuted her sentence and in 2001 she was pardoned by Bill Clinton.

Nicole Brown Simpson

Role in Case: Victim

Played by: Kelly Dowdle

Wiki-Wiki-What?: Nicole first met OJ when she was 18 and working as a waitress at upscale Beverly Hills/Rodeo Drive nightclub Daisy. He was still married to his first wife Marguerite when they started dating and he subsequently divorce Marguerite two years after meeting Nicole.

Ron Goldman

Role in Case: Victim

Played by:  Jake Koeppl

Wiki-Wiki-What?: He occassionally worked as a nightclub promoter throughout Los Angeles, and also worked as a waiter and had aspirations to be an actor. In 1992, he appeared as a contestant on the short-lived game show Studs (this clip is fabulously 90s), which was basically a dating show with hot guys (Jon Hamm and Chris Hardwick were also contestants on said show).

Marcia Clark

Role in Case: Lead prosecutor

Played by: (The amazing) Sarah Paulson

Wiki-Wiki-What?: Marcia played District Attorney Sidney Barnes in a 2013 episode of Pretty Little Liars called Now You See Me, Now You Don’t. She gives the good news to Hanna’s mom that the murder charge against her (for killing Detective Wilden) were dropped after the real killer was identified. I watch PLL and I don’t remember this. Apparently Marcia’s a big PLL fan.

Christopher Darden

Role in Case: Deputy DA, Marcia Clark’s co-counsel

Played by: Sterling K. Brown

Wiki-Wiki-What?: In 1997, Christopher married Marcia Carter, who was the vice president and corporate controller of Rysher Entertainment, a TV and movie production and distribution company. You might be familiar with the company if you stayed through the end title credits of shows like Saved by the Bell, Star Search or Sex and the City.

Judge Lance Ito

Role in Case: Judge in the trial

Played by: Kenneth Choi

Wiki-Wiki-What?: After apparently meeting on the v romantic setting of an Eagle Rock, California murder scene, he married Margaret Ann York, the first woman to attain the rank of Deputy Chief in the LAPD, making her the highest-ranking woman officer in that department when she retired in 2002.

Paula Barbieri

Role in Case: OJ’s girlfriend at the time of the murders

Played by: Angie Patterson

Wiki-Wiki-What?: OJ and Nicole divorced in 1992, and he had been dating the model/actress for a while until the morning of the murders, she allegedly left OK a 30-minute long message on his answering machine to break up with him. She said in the voicemail that she was flying to Las Vegas to be with Michael Bolton – yes that Michael Bolton. They had met on the set of his 1994 music video for the song Completely, and apparently fell in love? Well doesn’t matter because she stuck by OJ’s side for a while until she couldn’t take the pressure of the murder trial anymore.

Kato Kaelin

Role in Case: Witness/friend of OJ and Nicole/lived in OJ’s guest house at the time of the murders

Played by: Billy Magnussen

Wiki-Wiki-What?: Following the trial, he made a number of appearances, including the very first episode of MADtv, and Mr. Show with Bob and David. He was also randomly BFFs with SNL alum Norm Macdonald.

 

Live Blog: Emmy Awards 2015

It’s hard to believe but it’s Super Bowl weekend! And by Super Bowl, we mean Emmy Awards, because, hello, welcome to our blog. Like we do every year, we’ll be liveblogging the ceremony on Sunday starting around 8pm EST/5pm PST, so come back and join us!

Friendly reminder that we’re still too cheap to update and get legit liveblogging technology, so please refresh this page every 5 to 10 minutes for our up-to-the-minute updates! Also, for up-to-the-second updates, join us over on Twitter!

Andy-Samberg

serious andy samberg welcomes you to the emmys.

7:15 M: Guys, I’m a bit worried. I tuned into FOX to see if there’s a preshow on (there isn’t) but (A) it’s still football, and (B) the announcer is speaking Spanish.

I should add that I majored in Spanish in college and spent like 5 months in Spain, but I am not interested in translating an entire awards show.

[Note: I don’t have cable and have noticed that my over-the-air FOX affiliate does some weird stuff, like narrating the action for blind people  – obviously not weird if you’re blind, but.]
On to the much-lauded Yahoo live stream. Right now: an overhead shot of a tight crowd of warm-looking rich people.

Oh cool. A clip from Louie. Really outdoing yourself, Yahoo.

7: 20 I almost always love everything that Dascha Polanco is. Which makes me think that me not liking her gown is a “it’s not you, it’s me thing.” To be fair, I’ve been hating on the short opaque skirt under a sheer long skirt trend.

7:25 Sarah Paulson (in custom Prabal Gurung) is asked who she wants to see tonight. Answers “Emma Thompson” without pause. You and me both.

M: Let’s talk about Tatiana Maslany. No, let’s LOOK at Tatiana Maslany. Jesus.

7: 39 Emmy Guy: I know Amy Poehler started this Smart Girls thing about not asking women so many fashion questions –

Naomi Watt: SO DON’T!

7:42 Yahoo wraps up Game of Thrones in 2 minutes and it basically sums up everything I said in What I Think Happens In Game Of Thrones (I Don’t Watch It). Also this GoT segment really doesn’t seem like a good use of time.

7:56 Good Lord, Poehler.

Same, Mindy. Same.

8:00 M: Well, my TV is in English now. That’s nice. Andy Samberg does a number emerging from a TV viewing bunker. Or as I call it, my house.

T: Legit just LOLed at the ‘Have you seen Castle?’ joke. You know who watches Castle? my aunts who don’t have a DVR and have to be home to watch Castle REPEATS.

M: Man. Aunts love appointment television, don’t they?

Did Andy Samberg end his number with “and I’m white?” Not a rhetorical Q, my tv pixelated right at that second.

T: I thought he said, “And I’m right?” We could easily both be completely wrong. We’re old now.

M: I thought he was making a commentary on why he was chosen as host and I was like “brazen, but … true.” Yours makes more sense.

T: “Justin Timberlake is not coming.” – Andy answering the question we’ve all been thinking.

M: I don’t watch GoT, but of COURSE there’s a mean nun.

T: I was just about to say, ‘I don’t watch GoT’ but Jane Lynch looks exactly like that mean nun. We’re not fans of dragons and incest and rape (?), okay.

M: I feel like GoT offers lots of nice braided hairdos, but so does Pinterest. [We’ll try it. Someday.]

M: Oh, Tina Fey looks gorgeous!

T: ::Emoji with heart eyes:: That quadrant of seating also includes Poehler and Jimmy Fallon. I want to go to there.

M: Also looking great: Amy Poehler. Now I just need Andy to make a lame joke about Canada so we can get a reaction shot of Tatiana Maslany, because she looks extra :heart eyes emoji: :praise hands emoji:

T: “If I wanted to see an intolerant woman dance I would’ve gone to one of Kim Davis’ four weddings.” I legit said, ‘OOOHHHHH SNAP” out loud. No one is with me.

M: Jon Hamm in a suit. You know?

T: “Dick Whitman Horny Hobo” Who wouldn’t watch this prequel, tho???

M: I straight up chuckled out loud when Andy mentioned the actor starring in Houdini then they focused on an empty seat. Dad jokes and things they would have laughed at in the 1920s really :get: me.

T: I cannot stop laughing at this Houdini joke, either!

M: Uzo Aduba: the new Ed Asner.

Allison Janney: The new Ed Asner and the old Uzo Aduba.

T: POEHLER & SCHUMER BUDDY COMEDY IMMEDIATELY PLS & THANK YOU

M: Sorry. I was just staring at my TV grinning like an idiot.

Outstanding Supporting Actress in a Comedy Series

Niecy Nash, Getting On

Julie Bowen, Modern Family

Allison Janney, Mom

Kate McKinnon, Saturday Night Live

Mayim Bialik, The Big Bang Theory

Gaby Hoffman, Transparent

Jane Krakowski, Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt

Anna Chlumsky, Veep

Molly’s Pick: Jane Krakowski, Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt

Also love Kate McKinnon, but SNL performers usually don’t win. Love Anna Chlumsky too. And Gaby Hoffman is amazing in Transparent. I like Modern Family but I’m sick of it winning, and I don’t like Big Bang and I’m sick of it winning.

Traci’s Pick: Anna Chlumsky, Veep

Wait, why are there so many nominees in this? anyways, I pick Anna Chlumsky because she plays the most sane insane person in the White House perfectly, and it’s about time she gets recognized for it.

Winner: Allison Janney

M: Is there a reason she’s singing her speech, though?

T: I want to say yes, but I definitely missed the explanation.

8:22 M: I want to be nice about Tracee Ellis Ross’s dress.

Louis C.K.: Every time you have an idea, you feel sure that that was the last one.

He may have been joking but that is 100% true for me.

Outstanding Writing for a Comedy Series

David Crane and Jeffrey Klarik, Episodes, “Episode 409”

Will Forte, The Last Man on Earth, “Alive in Tucson”

Alec Berg, Silicon Valley, “Two Days of the Condor”

Jill Soloway, Transparent, “Pilot”

Armando Iannucci, Simon Blackwell and Tony Roche, Veep, “Election Night”

Molly’s Pick: Jill Soloway, Transparent, “Pilot”

I could see Transparent picking up a few awards – I watched it because I finally got Amazon Prime this year, and it’s great. Only caveat: not really a COMEDY comedy. The only other show I watch on the list is Veep. Not sure what Episodes is.

Traci’s Pick: Jill Soloway, Transparent, “Pilot”

I haven’t seen Transparent, but I’m going to pick it anyways. They’re going to have a good night.

Winner: Armando Iannucci, Simon Blackwell and Tony Roche, Veep, “Election Night”

T: I am glad they won, though, FTR.

M: Same.

Ricky Gervais doesn’t really walk so much as saunter.Photo Sep 20, 5 27 02 PM

T: He does this bit where he pretends to win an Emmy, and tells viewers to “Tweet that, and Bob’s Your Uncle” – barely any laughs for that joke, because this is America, and most people don’t get that that phrase means like, ‘And you’re all set’.

Outstanding Supporting Actor in a Comedy

Andre Braugher, Brooklyn Nine-Nine

Adam Driver, Girls

Keegan-Michael Key, Key & Peele

Ty Burrell, Modern Family

Titus Burgess, Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt

Tony Hale, Veep

Molly’s Pick: Andre Braugher, Brooklyn Nine-Nine

Would love to see a Titus Burgess win, but not holding my breath.

Traci’s Pick: Andre Braugher, Brooklyn Nine-Nine

I just rewatched the season two finale, and he plays that end scene so freaking well. If that’s one of the episodes they submitted, the Captain might have a shot at winning gold.

Winner: Tony Hale, Veep

M: Liking this. Hale says “I just had a fear my zipper’s down” and I immediately flashed back to every play I was ever in when I’d check my zipper like 8 times waiting in the wings.

8: 34 M: I never see Gina Rodriguez without thinking “man, I should really be watching Jane The Virgin.”

T: Same. We need to get on it.

T: Two things: Bradley Whitford’s hat. Also, CJ & Josh Lyman are in the same room right now.

uh is bradley taking off allison’s dress here

M: Jill Soloway wins for comedy directing, beginning our predicted run of awards for Transparent. Because I have trouble with names that sound alike: I always at first think she is Jill Sobule, of I Kissed A Girl “fame” (not the Katy Perry version).

T: Unrelatedly, I forgot to mention how OUTSTANDING Andy’s monologue was. Like, perfection.

M: So far, in terms of hosting, winners, fashion, speeches: no complaints. I don’t know if I’ve ever made it 40 minutes and had that still be the case.

T: Forte’s beard is OUT OF CONTROL. (BONUS JORMA <3)

Outstanding Lead Actor in a Comedy Series

Anthony Anderson, Black-ish

Matt LeBlanc, Episodes

Don Cheadle, House of Lies

Louis C.K., Louie

William H. Macy, Shameless

Will Forte, The Last Man on Earth

Jeffrey Tambor, Transparent

Molly’s Pick: Jeffrey Tambor, Transparent

Should win, anyway.

Traci’s Pick: Jeffrey Tambor, Transparent

Like I said, they’re going to have a good night, and it’s thanks to this guy.

Winner: Jeffrey Tambor, Transparent

M: I wouldn’t tell you to get an Amazon Prime membership BECAUSE of Transparent, but if you were thinking of doing it anyway it’s a good perk.

M: When I see Matt LeBlanc and Matthew Perry, it’s like when you see one of your old teachers and are shocked that THEY got older, too.

T: I thought they were stuck in the series finale forever, TBH.

8: 50 T: Um that Apple Music commercial with Taraji, Kerry and Mary J was FIRE. How do I get invited to that party? ALSO, AVA DUVERNAY DIRECTED IT? TALK ABOUT #SQUADGOALS.

M: I was posting in our live blog then my head shot up when I heard Kerry’s voice.

T: Seth and Andy, BFFs together again, and paying homage to their leader, Lorne Michaels.

Photo Sep 20, 5 52 01 PM

M: Are they doing lead actress in a comedy next? Because I am not mentally or emotionally ready.

T: Ugh I hope not. I’m never ready. Amy’s been nominated 16 times? I cannot. WAIT IF AMY WINS AND SETH GIVES IT TO HER I WILL CRY.

M: POEHLER. Does a bit in a hoodie and shades.

pls note jimbo in the back

Outstanding Lead Actress in a Comedy Series

Lily Tomlin, Grace and Frankie

Amy Schumer, Inside Amy Schumer

Edie Falco, Nurse Jackie

Amy Poehler, Parks and Recreation

Lisa Kudrow, The Comeback

Julia Louis-Dreyfus, Veep

Molly’s Pick: Amy Poehler, Parks and Recreation

PLEASE?

Traci’s Pick: Amy Meredith Poehler, Parks and Recreation

IF YOU BUILD IT THEY WILL COME. (AM I USING THAT SPORTS MOVIE REF RIGHT?)

Winner: Julia Louis-Dreyfus

M: Every time JLD has won, it’s been totally deserved and I’ve been very pleased. Yet, a bunch of the times I’ve also been sort of pulling for Amy so not been as happy as I’d expect? Love her, though.

T: I am literally shaking because I felt like Poehler had a chance… I mean, I get a grip, maybe? Congrats to JLD tho, she’s great.

M: If I were Poehler I’d be wearing those sunglasses not as comedy sunglasses, but because of tears. I mean I’m not her and I almost need them. [Aside nobody cares about: I always pause for a sec when JLD thanks her kids because they have the same names as 2 of my nephews who are brothers.]

Outstanding Reality Show Competition

The Amazing Race

Dancing with the Stars

Project Runway

So You Think You Can Dance

Top Chef

The Voice

Molly’s Pick: The Amazing Race

I don’t know, I feel like they win a lot.

Traci Pick: Top Chef

In my heart of hearts, SYTYCD will always win, but I’m going to say Top Chef. Mei Lin FTW!

Winner: The Voice

M: Can they do reality tv on a different night or something? Or like on TBS?

T: “Sorry The Amazing Race, it’s our year this year”. Mark Burnett, calm down. Didn’t you guys win last year too?

M: Also this is not a real award category. It reminds me of a weird dream I had once when I somehow was on America’s Next Top Model and I made it like 4 weeks in because everyone felt too bad to kick me out even though I clearly didn’t deserve to be there.

9: 03 M: I love James Corden But when they play the Ghostbusters music I was expecting the Ghostbusters ladies. He is so huggable though.

T: I was just about to say I love James Corden! If you haven’t seen his Carpool Karaoke with Stevie Wonder yet, you should. And if you don’t cry like I did multiple times, then… well, you have your motions under control.

T: I’m also giving the accountants from Ernst & Young a standing ovation, but that’s mainly because I need to get more steps in for my Fitbit.

M: I’m like 800 steps under. Better get moving.

T: IDEC, I still think Terrence Howard is the creepiest. Remember when he was being really weird while presenting at the Oscars?

M: Oooh. Yeah. I had forgotten.

T: Oh, well Jane Anderson is a spritely little woman, isn’t she?

M: She reminds me so much of every enthusiastic writing professor in college.

T: “Oh my God. Goodbye!” is the new “OK I gotta go. Bye.” from Merritt Wever in 2013.

Outstanding Supporting Actress in a Limited Series or Movie

Regina King, American Crime

Sarah Paulson, American Horror Story: Freak Show

Angela Bassett, American Horror Story: Freak Show

Kathy Bates, American Horror Story: Freak Show

Mo’Nique, Bessie

Zoe Kazan, Olive Kitteridge

Molly’s Pick: Zoe Kazan, Olive Kitteridge

Olive Kitteridge was pretty buzz-y which makes me wish I had picked up the book for the 2 years it was at the front of the book section in Target.

Traci’s Pick: Mo’Nique, Bessie

I’m assuming she did great in this.

Winner: Regina King, American Crime

T: NO JOKE, I WAS GOING TO PUT REGINA KING! I’ve never seen American Crime. Also, I want Taraji in my squad cheering me on all the time.

M: Moment of silence out of respect for Regina King’s arms/ personal trainer.

T: Andy’s new dark teal suit = Fresh To Death.

Photo Sep 20, 6 13 39 PM

M: “I haven’t seen Olive Kitteridge, I’ve seen Half of Kitteridge.” – if you don’t know who your dad is, it might be Andy Samberg, because that man is flush with dad jokes.

M: Man. Olive Kitteridge. I should watch it.

Wait… they just said “4 hour movie.” Eh. Maybe no.

M: They’re doing an In Memorium for departed SHOWS now? No wonder these things always run 20 minutes over.

9: 24

Outstanding Supporting Actor in a Limited Series or Movie

Richard Cabral, American Crime

Denis O’Hare, American Horror Story: Freak Show

Finn Wittrock, American Horror Story: Freak Show

Michael Kenneth Williams, Bessie

Bill Murray, Olive Kitteridge

Damian Lewis, Wolf Hall

Molly’s Pick: Bill Murray, Olive Kitteridge

I don’t know, just going to keep going with Olive Kitteridge.

Traci’s Pick: Bill Murray, Olive Kitteridge

Olive Kitteridge got a lot of traction with the critics this year, especially for its stars Frances and Bill. Also Bill Murray’s never won an Emmy, so why not?

Winner: Bill Murray, Olive Kitteridge

M: THAT WAS A WHOLE SEGMENT. Did a switchboard operator have a stroke?

T: Insert “DAMNIT, JERRY” here.

M: HA nevermind. The fake cut really got me.

They’re doing a Mad Men finale pastiche.

M: Kerry Washington – so pretty, tonight and always – has a jaunty walk. Should stroll with Ricky Gervais sometime.

T: Kerry is a GD dream and delight

Outstanding Lead Actress in a Limited Series or Movie

Felicity Huffman, American Crime

Jessica Lange, American Horror Story: Freak Show

Queen Latifah, Bessie

Frances McDormand, Olive Kitteridge

Emma Thompson, Mrs. Lovett

Maggie Gyllenhaal, The Honorable Woman

Molly’s Pick: Emma Thompson, Mrs. Lovett

I have hardly heard anything about Mrs. Lovett, so it will probably be Queen or Maggie, but I just love Emma Thompson so much.

Traci’s Pick:  Frances McDormand, Olive Kitteridge

It’s going to be down to the Queen, Maggie Gyllenhaal and Frances, but I’m going for Frances, purely because Olive Kitteridge is popular among voters, as previously mentioned.

Winner: Frances McDormand, Olive Kitteridge

M: Guys. Olive Kitteridge is NOT the 1920s American Girl doll. I just double checked. You’re welcome.

T: Frances’ speech was short and to the point. I honestly expected her to go on a 5 minute soapbox, but I’m glad she proved me wrong.

M: I mean I love … serious issues, or whatever … but sometimes I put my Secondhand Embarrassment Pants on when actors do the Soapbox Speech unless they do so quickly and well.

9: 30 T: TATIANA

M: I have no idea what this bit is but I’m always here for Tatiana Maslany. She changed her outfit?

T: I don’t think anyone really knows what this bit is, tbh.

M: Am I supposed to know these audience members they show when Gaga comes out, or did they just pick two kids because, like, “youths like Lady Gaga.”

T: Yes Gaga, you look fierce! Despite the fact your “joke” fell flat.

Outstanding Lead Actor in a Limited Series or a Movie

Timothy Hutton, American Crime

Ricky Gervais, Derek Special

Adrien Brody, Houdini

David Oyelowo, Nightingale

Richard Jenkins, Olive Kitteridge

Mark Rylance, Wolf Hall

Molly’s Pick: Timothy Hutton, American Crime

I don’t know what I’m doing.

Traci’s Pick: David Oyelowo, Nightingale

I’ve only seen clips of David Oyelowo in this, but that’s enough to make him my pick. He’s that good.

Winner: Richard Jenkins, Olive Kitteridge

that time richard jenkins was starstruck by gaga

M: What is the Kitteridge medal count? Okay, let’s all steal our parents’ HBO Go passwords and watch this.

T: It’s FIVE. Five for Olive Kitteridge, not American Girl Doll. Also Richard Jenkins, you’re QT.

M: Still feel like Olive’s character bio is like “a spunky, spirited girl discovering the wide world of the Roaring 20’s.”

M: You know you were a college kid in the mid 2000s when your gut reaction is “get off my screen!” when George W. Bush is on TV. His dog paintings are QT tho.

T: This is an In Memoriam for all the shows we lost this year? Here for it. Still gonna cry. SPOILER ALERT, THOUGH.

M: Again. The reason these always run 20 mins over.

T: I’M CRYING BECAUSE PARKS.

M: ME TOO. And offended that Two And A Half Men is on my TV, for hopefully the last time ever.

Outstanding Limited Series

American Crime

American Horror Story: Freak Show

The Honorable Woman

Olive Kitteridge

Wolf Hall

Molly’s Pick: Olive Kitteridge

The Target Book Club picks can’t be wrong

Traci’s Pick: Olive Kitteridge

Read above.

Winner: Olive Kitteridge

M: I filled that in as winner before they announced it.

Olive Kitteridge: A Plucky Girl Who Loves Her Country And Her Family. $82.99 plus S+H.

9: 47 M: Okay, I think we’re finally done with miniseries right? And almost done with TV movies? Can’t believe the Hannah Anderson Story didn’t make the cut.

Outstanding Variety Sketch Series

Drunk History

Inside Amy Schumer

Key & Peele

Portlandia

Saturday Night Live

Molly’s Pick: Inside Amy Schumer

The show seriously hit its stride this year. Key & Peele might have a shot.

Traci’s Pick: Inside Amy Schumer

Even though the SNL40 special was epic in every sense of the word, it’s Amy Schumer’s year, and she deserves it. The show was obviously really good this year too.

Winner: Inside Amy Schumer

M: Love that this happened.

T: YAY! I’m tearing up already! I don’t even watch this show on the regular! “We all had to get Final Draft once they picked up the show.”  This makes me laugh slash cry even more.

M: Amy thanks “this girl who gave me sort of a smoky eye.”

T: UM THEY JUST CUT AMY SCHUMER OFF???

M: WHO WOULD EVER???

10:07 

Outstanding Variety, Music, or Comedy Series

The Colbert Report

The Daily Show

Jimmy Kimmel Live!

Last Week Tonight with John Oliver

Late Show with David Letterman

The Tonight Show Starring Jimmy Fallon

Molly’s Pick: The Colbert Report

More as a win for its whole run, not this season alone.

Traci’s Pick: The Colbert Report

With three outgoing shows, it’s tough to say which sentimental program to pick, but I’m going with The Colbert Report.

Winner:  The Daily Show

M: Well, that’s just as good a sentimental pick for me. Also, remember in the early years of Daily Show when they’d have interviews with random people who didn’t know it was fake news?

T: The on stage graphic for the Drama categories turned red and all of a sudden it was The Red Wedding, amirite? (Again, we don’t watch GoT).

Outstanding Writing for a Drama Series

Joshua Brand, The Americans, “Do Mail Robots Dream of Electric Sheep?”

Gordon Smith, Better Call Saul, “Five-O”

David Benioff and David Weiss, Game of Thrones, “Mother’s Mercy”

Matthew Weiner, Mad Men, “Lost Horizon”

Matthew Weiner, Mad Men, “Person to Person”

Molly’s Pick: Matthew Weiner, Mad Men, “Person to Person”

A sentimental pick that was actually good.

Traci’s Pick: Matthew Weiner, Mad Men, “Person to Person”

I really liked the Mad Men series finale, and have an inkling in will win, but in my heart of hearts, Lost Horizon, the episode that gave us this fantastic gif, is the tops.

Winner: David Benioff and David Weiss, Game of Thrones, “Mother’s Mercy”

T: Reg Cathey’s glasses though. Also this is his real voice? He gives Morgan Freeman a run for his money.

10: 18 M: UGHH Promising college students. As though their youth isn’t enough?

I love creative excellence as much as the next girl, but straight up nobody cares about high-achieving youths except for their families when all of us want this to end at 11 EST.

Outstanding Supporting Actress in a Drama Series

Joanne Froggatt, Downton Abbey

Lena Headey, Game of Thrones

Emilia Clarke, Game of Thrones

Christina Hendricks, Mad Men

Uzo Aduba, Orange Is the New Black

Christine Baranski, The Good Wife

Molly’s Pick: Christina Hendricks, Mad Men.

I don’t know if this is a likely win, but I feel like a lot of people only mention her role in terms of the costuming and such, and overlook that Joan is a nuanced, layered character and Christina kills it.

Traci’s Pick: Christina Hendricks, Mad Men

I really want Mad Men to be the Breaking Bad of this year’s Emmys, in that because it was its last year, they got all the awards. But Christina will have some tough competition, including from Uzo Aduba, who is moving up in the world after submitting as a Supporting Actress as opposed to the Guest Actress like last year (which she won).

Winner: Uzo Aduba

M: !

T: HI I’M CRYING AGAIN.

M: is it weird that they have a crawler telling us when the In Memorium is? Also the bumpers tease the next segments like a bad local news commercial. “Will we remember our favorite entertainers in the In Memorium? Find out at 11!”

10:28

Outstanding Supporting Actor in a Drama Series

Jonathan Banks, Better Call Saul

Ben Mendelsohn, Bloodline

Jim Carter, Downton Abbey

Peter Dinklage, Game of Thrones

Michael Kelly, House of Cards

Alan Cumming, The Good Wife

Molly’s Pick: Peter Dinklage, Game of Thrones

Not sure. Sometimes he wins things.

Traci’s Pick: Michael Kelly, House of Cards

Ben Mendelsohn was fantastic in Bloodline, like so good that as you’re watching it, you know he’s bound to be nominated for something. But Michael Kelly went through a lot of shit on HoC this season, so I’m going with him.

Winner: Peter Dinklage

“and the rest”

M: Ah, yes. Sometimes he wins things, indeed.

T: Um, what’s happening? Why is Game of Thrones winning a lot of things?

M: I wouldn’t know.

But seriously, it’s rapey as hell and I’m just not interested. Dragons? Swords? Nah.

M: In Memorium. Wonder what percentage of In Memoriums use Somewhere Over The Rainbow or It’s A Wonderful World? Or that one mashup of both of them. It’s like Catholic funerals with On Eagles’ Wings, clearly engineered to make you cry.

M: Got misty with Jan Hooks and Edward Hermann. Because I’m a human.

 10: 40

Outstanding Lead Actor in a Drama Series

Kyle Chandler, Bloodline

Jeff Daniels, The Newsroom

Jon Hamm, Mad Men

Bob Odenkirk, Better Call Saul

Liev Schrieber, Ray Donovon

Kevin Spacey, House of Cards

Molly’s Pick: Jon Hamm, Mad Men.

Makes sense.

Traci’s Pick: Jon Hamm, Mad Men

Legit forgot Kyle Chandler was nominated. But I’m going with my boy Don Draper, because he’s already had a tough life, let’s give him this, at the very least.

Winner: Jon Hamm, Mad Men

T: I AM LITERALLY JUMPING UP AND DOWN AND CHEERING FOR HAMM, WHO IS LOOKING LIKE A SMOKESHOW (PER USUAL)

M: Too tired to jump (although I need the fitbit steps) but I am smiling placidly. I like when his face is on TV.

T: ALSO, THIS:

Drew Baird & Liz Lemon

M: Oooh. Not at all ready for this category.

Outstanding Lead Actress in a Drama Series

Claire Danes, Homeland

Viola Davis, How to Get Away with Murder

Taraji P. Henson, Empire

Tatiana Maslany, Orphan Black

Elisabeth Moss, Mad Men

Robin Wright, House of Cards

Molly’s Pick: Tatiana Maslany, Orphan Black

I know getting nominated for a BBC America genre series is a win in itself and I shouldn’t expect any more, but it would still be nice. Whatever, she won my fashion prize. Which I’m sure is just what Tatiana Maslany wants. To win Molly from the Internet’s imaginary fashion prize.

Traci’s Pick: Elisabeth Moss, Mad Men

Such a tough category! I have been going back and forth a lot with this one, and I’m just going to go with Elisabeth Moss. She’s been nominated for the show six times, and like Jonny Hamm, she has never won an Emmy on her own. I so so so so happy that Tatiana got nominated this year, like all of the Internet, but it’s going to be a miracle for her to win over enough Emmy voters to win this one.

Winner: Viola Davis, How To Get Away With Murder

T: WELL. GUSES WHO’S CRYING.

M: GOD am I crying.

“You cannot win an Emmy for roles that are not there.”

10:50

Outstanding Comedy Series

Louie

Modern Family

Parks and Recreation

Silicon Valley

Transparent

Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt

Veep

Molly’s Pick: Transparent

It just seems like the sort of thing Emmy Voters would go for. That or Silicon Valley.

Traci’s Pick: Transparent

I really really really really hope I’m wrong and Parks takes it and literally runs away into a party where they get wasted and just be best friends all night long.

Winner: Veep

M: Emmys love Veep, huh?

T: Anna Chlumsky is EXCITED. But, tbh, so am I. It’s about time Modern Family stopped winning this category.

M: I love a good Andy Samberg tuxedo.

M: TRACY MORGAN.

T: YUP IT’S HAPPENING. TOO MANY TEARS TONIGHT.

M: I’m gonna have a crying headache tomorrow. What, you guys don’t get those? It’s like a tear-hangover.

Outstanding Drama Series

Better Call Saul

Downton Abbey

Game of Thrones

Homeland

House of Cards

Mad Men

Orange Is the New Black

Molly’s Pick: Mad Men

Come back.

Traci’s Pick: Mad Men

I miss you already, Mad Men.

Winner: Game of Thrones

M: ????

T: GUYS. MAD MEN THO. WHAT IS ACTUALLY HAPPENING.

M: LIKE ARE DRAGON SQUADS THAT EXCITING?! I do not know how Mad Men didn’t win. All of the people involved with GoT seem really cool and nice, and I’m sure they are great and the show is great too, but still.

Okay guys, that’s it! Thanks for reading and be sure to come back tomorrow for our fashion post! Gonna go pop some ibuprofen to fight off our tear-hangovers.

Emmy Awards 2014: Best & Worst Dressed

Day 2 of our Back to TV Week, and we’re doing a follow up of the biggest night in TV. With another year, another Emmys down, and after capturing all of the shenans that happened last night on our blog (relive the magic here!), we’re giving our two cents on the looks that wowed us and the ones that made us maybe vom in our mouths a little. The trend was definitely red and white, and it makes me think everyone just wanted to pay homage to Game of Thrones and The Red Wedding. Get it? Red? White? Oh boy. Here are our choices for best and worst dressed. What are yours?

Molly’s Picks

Best Dressed

Amy Poehler in Theia

So, we’re all 5’2 here, right? No, just us and Amy Poehler? It’s hard to look like a beautiful shimmering statue when you’re on the shorter side but I think it’s safe to say Amy pulls it off here. I’m glad beachy waves have stuck around for another season because I’m not bored of them yet.

Alllison Williams in Giambattista Valli Couture

You can say that Allison Williams always plays it ind of safe and Disney Princess-y. But you can also say that she knows what works for her and sticks to it – and whenever actresses swing and miss on the red carpet, isn’t it because they failed to do just that?

Michelle Dockery in Rosie Assoulin

I love how this is colorful without being clowny, and young without being silly, and sophisticated without being stuffy. Another actress who knows what works for her and usually sticks with it.

Kiernan Shipka in Antonio Berardi

And on to the most consistently well-dressed actress working today! If this were gown-length it would have been awesome on an adult actress, but the length keeps it young. Hard to believe that Sally Draper will be driving legally before too long.

Lizzy Caplan in Donna Karan Atelier

While I’m trying to have as little overlap as possible on our lists so we can talk about as many dresses as we can – I cannot talk about the best dressed of last night without mentioning Lizzy Caplan. Today, as in Mean Girls, she deserves to be much more well-known than she is, but based on how she looked last night I don’t think that will be a problem for very long.

Honorable mention: Julia Louis-Dreyfus in Carolina Herrera – only not on my list because you’ll get to look at her later on.

Worst Dressed

Lena Dunham in Giambattista Valli

As I said in the live blog, Lena Dunham looks like she would do roller derby here. I think that Lena’s not an unattractive lady (and talented to boot!) but I often wish her clothes would be tailored better and that she’d stand up a bit straighter. Grandma, out.

Katherine Heigl

Grandma, in. Matronly and flesh-colored: not the best combo.

Laura Prepon in Gustavo Cadile

Has this entire summer been a plot to turn Alex Vause fans into Poussey Washington fans? Because it’s working.

Kerry Washington in Prada

I still can’t decide if this is truly among the worst, or just confusing. It looks like two entirely different, non-coordinating dresses at once. I cannot imagine being so beautiful that you can squander a major dress-up event like this on a weird dress because you know you have a whole lifetime of chances to look flawless ahead of you.

Mayim Bialik

A Fox News headline said Mayim wanted to look “hot and holy” – which considering the source, may be the exact opposite of the truth. Mayim’s into modesty, and that’s fine, but I think she could’ve erred a bit more towards the “hot” side of the equation and still been dressed appropriately.

Traci’s Picks

Best Dressed

Lizzy Caplan in Donna Karan Atelier

LIZZY. FREAKING. CAPLAN. I am in love with this look. The cut, the train, the hair, the makeup, everything. Lizzy isn’t exactly one of those actresses you think of when it comes to hitting home runs on the red carpet – mainly because she gets overlooked by ‘bigger celebrities’. But with an Emmy nomination to her name and this home run dress, she won’t be forgotten from now on.

Julia Louis-Dreyfus in Carolina Herrera

Hi. This woman is 53 years old. Like Lizzy, this entire look from head to toe is perfect. Up close (in pictures, obvs), this dress is a raspberry color, and her simple makeup reflects the same rosy color. Also the straps on the gown are patent leather, and so sick in the back. Definitely Emmy winner worthy.

Taylor Schilling in Zuhair Murad

While Taylor didn’t win, she certainly dressed as if she was going to. The symmetrical jeweled pattern all over the dress are to die and she looks like a fab Greek goddess.

Sarah Hyland in Christian Siriano

Sarah Hyland is usually a ‘meh’ dresser at awards shows for me. Like everything she picks is not horrible, but it’s not the best either. This however is the best thing I’ve ever seen her in. Designed by Project Runway winner Christian Siriano, this crop top matched with a flowing skirt is the perfect young adult look for Sarah, who is 23 IRL but plays like 19 on Modern Family. Again from her perfect bun to her makeup and accessories this is definitely one of the best from the night.

January Jones in Prabal Gurung

Attention ladies: this dress has POCKETS. Also, the skirt makes it look like Betty Draper is floating on air.

Honorable Mentions: Amy Poehler aka Beyonce aka Amy Pueblo in Theia and Anna Chlumsky in Zac Posen

Worst Dressed

Sarah Paulson in Armani Prive

Oh Sarah Paulson. I love you girl but… what? This looks like the top of a Philip Treacy fascinator exploded onto a black gown.

Laura Prepon in Gustavo Cadile

I get that Laura Prepon is a Scientologist (said in hushed tones), but even this is too outer spacey for the Emmys.

Lena Headey  In Rubin Singer

Ok, so this is another example of styling gone wrong. The dress itself is not horrible. It’s a little drab, but okay. But then the shoes look way too clunky on her. And her Pixie hair looks too tussled like she didn’t even try. Also where are the accessories?

Julianne Hough in Dsquared

I don’t understand why such a pretty girl like Julianne Hough usually chooses horrible dresses for awards shows (to her credit, she looked great at the VMAs on Sunday). She needs to get a new stylist because this is just not working. The dress, while it looks like a paper towel draped over her person, is not the WORST thing in the world, but matched with white pumps and messy hair, and a random green clutch, it just doesn’t go together.

Lena Dunham in Giambattista Valli Couture

Lena, Lena, Lena. It’s no surprise she’s on this side of the list. But here’s the thing about this look: A) she’s posing as if she’s doing a cover shoot for like Paper magazine B) The hair. It’s not even the blonde, it’s the cut of it. C) The top looks like something she (or bf Jack Antonoff) would wear, but paired with the skirt it looks a little weird. Something like this is what I think she looks great in, so maybe stay along those lines? Still thing you’re great, Lena.

Comic-Con Fashion: Not An Oxymoron

I don’t know about you, but when I hear “Comic-Con fashion” I think of some sort of Nerd Halloween, with grown-ass adults dressed up as superheroes and like … aliens, maybe? Which I’m not even making fun of – I love when grown-ups act ridiculous and don’t care if they look cool. But as we all know, comic-con isn’t just for nerds anymore. While some of the 2014 San Diego Comic-Con attendees were still taking the opportunity to play dress-up, others were seriously bringing it.

Maisie Williams

The Game of Thrones star took “comic book fashion” quite literally, with this dress made out of straight-up comic books. She’s young (17!) and at a fun event instead of the more serious ones she usually goes to – you know, like the Emmys or Golden Globes or death weddings or shooting people with arrows (I know, I know, I should be watching Game of Thrones, but I’ve waited so long that it would be a real commitment at this stage, which is the same reason I haven’t learned to knit or joined CrossFit yet). Comic-Con might be the only place it’s okay to wear a dress like this and I’m glad Maisie went for it.

Nina Dobrev in Naeem Khan

If someone has access to this ensemble, and also access to a lot of money, please buy it for me. A lot of the time when an outfit has this sort of floral print, it is also kind of unfortunately clustered around the pelvis area, like a crotch-garden. But not here.

Crotch garden.

Dobrev’s outfit has the same embroidered boho feel, but the white and ink blue combo is refreshing and simple, and the pattern on the shorts is straight across instead of those weird “this is where the magic happens” pelvic blooms.

Emma Roberts in Tanya Taylor

Am I the only one who’s turned the corner on crop tops? But, you know, classy crop tops, not the scuzzy short t-shirt my brother’s Little League coach used to wear circa 1992 (if I had to describe the coach in five words or less, they would have to be “big man, tiny mullet” or maybe “should he be around kids?”). Anyway, Emma is showing how the crop top should be done, with a printed high-waisted skirt and pink heels. Honestly, this is a ladylike crop-top situation – it can be done. Also if you tell a psychologist what you can see in those dress splotches they can tell if you have any deep-seated mental issues.

Elle Fanning in Christopher Kane

Do you think that Elle Fanning thinks about awkward phases the same way the rest of us think about weird diseases on The Discovery Channel – something unfortunate that happens to other people, but that ultimately you just can’t relate to? I love that she always goes for the playful, young looks that just look silly or try-hard on anyone over 25 —  or really anyone without the face, hair and complexion of a baby angel.

Cate Blanchett in Fausto Puglisi

This is a case of the right lady in the right dress. If I wore this, it would look like I had grabbed a home-sewn Halloween costume off of the 50% off rack at Goodwill. But on Cate Blanchett, it looks like something that only the classiest of broads would wear.

Sarah Paulson in Lela Rose

So, I read a mean person on the internet saying that they hated this, but you know what? I’m a nice person on the internet and I think she looks pretty. I will admit that the cutout trend has me really concerned about everyone’s tan-lines — in the same abstract way that Elle Fanning thinks about awkward phases, because we all know that I can’t tan. But assuming everything was indoors this is really fun and besides, Comic-Con is the perfect venue for your less-serious outfits.

Sophie Turner in Tata Naka

Anyone who can say “fuck it, I’m going to find an appropriate venue for it and then I’m going to wear an alphabet-print adult romper” is probably a lot of fun — which slightly undercuts my jealousy that Turner can actually pull off an alphabet-print adult romper.

Ashley Madekwe in McQ by Alexander McQueen and Christian Dior

That metallic print skirt and minimalist hair? Flawless. Anyone else remember in junior high when everyone used to call those tiny accent pockets “condom pockets” and felt really edgy about it? (We went to Catholic school if that helps).

Jessica Alba in Tanya Taylor and Zimmerman

Ugh. Stop. The only negative thing I can say about how Jessica Alba looks as a person is that maybe her shoes are a little dangerous? And the skirt has a lot going on? Yeah, I got nothing.