You may know him as that blonde boy bander, you may know him as Paris Hilton’s ex-boyfriend, hell, you may even know him as Aaron Carter’s older brother. But to me, he’s Nick Carter of my beloved Backstreet Boys (new readers, I am a BSB fan, get over it). And tonight, he becomes a reality TV star.
Nick, the youngest of the BSB-ers and the last one to get married, is front and center of a show called I Heart Nick Carter, in which he and his then-fiancee Lauren Kitt let cameras into their world as they prepare to get married. As far as reality TV shows go, I have a pretty high tolerance for them. I used to exclusively write about reality TV for a living for about a year and a half, and trust, there are some pretty horrible shows out there. But then there are actual good ones that you can’t stop watching, even though you know most of it is set up or edited perfectly (Wahlburgers, The entire Bachelor franchise).
After watching the first episode of I Heart Nick Carter, I’d say this show is somewhere in the middle, but closer to the quality of the Wahlbergers than say, that of Joe Millionaire (was that ref too old?) or I Wanna Marry Harry. That being said, I think if you’ve ever been a fan of the Backstreet Boys at some point in your life, you should watch this show. If you are a product of the 90s, you’ll understand that celebrity was much different in the “TRL Era” than it is now. Kids these days can easily following their favorite Directioner or Bieber on Twitter, Instagram, Facebook, Snapchat, YouTube, etc., and see behind-the-scenes photos and personal videos or send a quick message to them in hopes of a reply. Before the internet and social media, seeing our favorite band in concert was the closest we’d ever get to them and if there was a MTV: True Life or Making the Video, it was a friggin jackpot.
While celebrities having their own reality series seems cliche these days, for 90s kids like me, it’s surreal that we get an inside look into Nick Carter’s life. Like you’re telling me we get to see his HOUSE and it’s not just on CRIBS?? This is next level shit, y’all. And, I can say that even as a fan, I learned a thing or two from the show, so maybe you will too. Here are some things to look out for on the premiere tonight:
There Are Fans Who Actually Hate Nick Carter’s Fiancee
Even as a tween/teen, I was never the kind of girl who would be so mad to the point of pure hatred if one of the BSB boys had a girlfriend. I don’t know, maybe it’s because I was more of a sensible young adult, but I thought it was cute when they found love. Also, I’m not delusional. Apparently, there are still fans who have so much hatred towards Lauren Kitt (as seen in the photo that’s floating in a toilet from the Twitter account ‘F**k you Lauren Kitt/DumpLK’). Granted the accounts I found against Lauren haven’t been touched in like 3 years, but still. Lauren says in the pilot that “girls yell obscenities at me”, and I just am embarrassed if these girls who hate Lauren are over the age of 18. Look at your life. Look at your choices.
Lauren is an Independent Woman (Part I)
Lauren left home at 18 to live in Japan. Japan! AND she speaks fluent Japanese! And then she moved to Paris!! Seriously, she’s living my dream life.
Don’t Try Beating Lauren at Wrestling
There’s a scene in the first episode where Lauren pushes Nick to set an actual date for the wedding, and threatens him by playfully wrestling with him on their bed. And she isn’t kidding Around. Oh PS she’s a bodybuilder. As in she’s competed in competitions including the World Bodybuilding and Fitness Federation competition, whatever that is. Also, she was almost a WWE Diva. So I mean, those Twitter trolls probs shouldn’t mess with her.
Lauren’s BFF is A Girl Who Got Screwed Over by a Boy Bander…?
Lauren has a heart to heart with her best friend named Natalia, who, as Lauren says, she met when their boyfriends were on tour together years ago, and they became BFFs. But Natalia’s unnamed boyfriend broke up with her after five years and it ended horribly. He even took all the money out of their joint account, and that’s exactly what Lauren is afraid will happen to her. After some research, it seems as if Natalia is the ex-girlfriend of newly married (always shirtless) New Kids on the Block bad boy Donnie Wahlberg. He obvs kept it on the low for five years, but yikes!
Nick’s Scared He Will Lose Fans If He Gets Married
Alright this seems like one of those fake storylines that reality show writers set up to create more drama. I mean at Nick’s book signing (yes, he wrote a book) in Los Angeles, there are “fans” who tell him they don’t want him to get married. One of them even says, “Maybe I’ll move on to the One Direction guys”, to which Nick responded, “I’ve had nightmares about this moment.” Let’s be real – I feel like half these “fans” aren’t real. I have never seen these people in my life. And I’ve been around the LA BSB circuit (gross). Nick defends his theory since their first manager (probs stupid ass/jailbird Lou Peralman) told the boys they weren’t allowed to have girlfriends in public because it will ruin their careers and won’t sell any records. Keep in mind Nick was 12 when he joined BSB, so really, his career is the only thing he’s ever known. Luckily, good old Sweet Howie D hits Nick with the real shit and basically tells him to get his act together and marry Lauren, or else she should be the one to leave him.
Nick’s Management Team is Really Involved With His Life
Lauren and Nick tell his management team, which consists of a publicist, agent, and two managers, that they want to get married on March 1st. The team basically shuts it down (unconvincingly as actors, I must admit), and they all agree to move the big day to April 12th, which is probably the date Nick & Lauren picked out in the first place. The interesting thing here is that the team is talking about planning their wedding. Excuse, why is the business management team planning Nick and Lauren’s wedding?
Catch I Heart Nick Carter Wednesdays at 10pm on VH1
Whoever said “all good things come to an end” wasn’t entirely correct. Sometimes, good things sputter, flounder, and turn into a shell of their former selves and then come to an end years later, long after their period of relevance.Yeah, I’m talking about the Saved By The Bell Franchise. Remember that weird senior year where Kelly and Jessie were replaced by Tori, who may as well have been a permed wig and a leather jacket perched on top of a wheeled office chair? That was nothing compared to what lay ahead. Saved By The Bell: The New Class contained a rotating cast of teens who aged out every year. If you watched it for enough seasons, it must have been how being a teacher feels, staying in the same school and watching the kids get younger and younger. These kids all sort of ran together into not-Zacks and fake-Kellys and weird-Slaters. We all sort of know where the original Bayside gang is now, so I think it’s about time we catch up with the cast of Saved By The Bell: The New Class.
Robert Sutherland Telfer (Scott Erickson)
This kiddo was really trying to hit all the marks.He even has three names, like Mark-Paul Gosselaar (and Brian Austin Green, and Jonathan Taylor Thomas, and Taryn Noah Smith, and so many more). But Scott Erickson was fake Zack, and it just wasn’t the same.
These days, Robert Sutherland Telfer has quit the small screen and managed, in 2014, to exist without an internet presence. A few probably false bits of information on the internet: (1) He was fired from SBTB: The New Class after it became known that he was a “radical conservative”; (2) He was fired because he “didn’t act like he should”; and (3) “he competed in amateur gymnastics under the tutelage of famed Québécois magician F. Brian Fester.” Curiously, magician F. Brian Fester’s only Google hits are in fake-sounding bios of this kid from Saved By The Bell: The New Class. Anyway, the real magician here is Robert Sutherland Telfer, for maintaining such a trackless existence on the worldwide web.
Jonathan Angel (Tommy De Luca)
“Tommy D.” was an odd combination of Slater and Joey Tribbiani. Actor Jonathan Angel has mostly left the business, last appearing in the small 2006 film “Leaving L.A.” By the LinkedIn process of elimination game, he is either a 3D animator now or, perhaps much more likely, he doesn’t have an internet presence and that’s some other guy who has a cool job. You may be more familiar with Jonathan’s dad’s work – Joe Angel is the radio announcer for the Baltimore Orioles.
Isaac Lidsky (Barton “Weasel” Wyzell)
Now we have something to work with. Isaac Lidsky played Fake Screech, and although they even gave him wacky mismatched outfits and a stupid nickname, it still wasn’t the same. After leaving The New Class, Lidsky graduated with math and computer science degrees from Harvard (after enrolling at age 15!) , founded an internet advertising company, Poindexter Systems, then graduated magna cum laude from Harvard Law. He was on Law Review, naturally. Lidsky, who is blind, founded Hope For Vision, a charity that promotes research for the visually impaired. And he clerked for my favorite Supreme Court Justice and yours, Ruth Bader Ginsburg. Lidsky has also founded a construction firm, as if all of the rest of that weren’t enough. He is married and the father of three triplets: Thaddeus, Phineas and Lily Louise. Well done, Weasel!
Natalia Cigliuti (Lindsay Warner)
Not to be outdone by Fake Screech, Fake Kelly is also doing pretty well for herself. Natalia is still a working actress, and you may know her from Raising The Bar, The Glades, All My Children, and 90210 (the original version and the 2000s spinoff). Natalia, who was born in Uruguay, is also the mother of a 9-year-old son, Kaden. You can catch her on Twitter and Instagram, where she posted this great photo of her, Sarah Lancaster and Samantha Esteban (Becker) today.
Bianca Lawson (Megan Jones)
Megan Jones was sort of a combination of Lisa and Jessie, and when you think about it those characters could have easily been rolled into one person – a straight-A student like Spano fending off the affections of a nerd, like Turtle. But today, you may be most familiar with Bianca Lawson as one of those human vampire people who does not age. After leaving The New Class, Lawson played a teenager again in Buffy The Vampire Slayer – and then again on Dawson’s Creek (Nikki Green), and in Save The Last Dance, and then an early 20-something on Secret Life Of The American Teenager, and most recently Maya Saint Germain on Pretty Little Liars. Yes, Maya was like 33 years old. Hats off to Bianca, and also to the portrait that Bianca has in her attic that ages on her behalf.
Bonnie Russavage (Vicki Needleman)
The notes I jotted down for this post include this description of Vicki Needleman: “Fake Jessie only even more useless.” And basically, yes. There was no need for this character. Or any of these characters. Or this entire show, to be quite honest.
After The New Class, Bonnie all but left acting, choosing to go to college and earning a degree in Business Administration. She works in the medical field and is a parent, and seems to be living a nice, normal life – except with the cool party anecdote that she used to be on a Saved By The Bell spinoff as a teenager.
Sarah Lancaster (Rachel Meyers)
Rachel Meyers (sort of a Lisa-ish character, for you SBTB purists) is doing well for herself! Sarah Lancaster took college courses while filming The New Class, and pursued an acting career after she left Bayside. Most recently, she’s appeared in a string of TV movies, which is probably good work if you can get into it. However, you may be most familiar with her as Ellie Woodcomb on Chuck – as well as one- and two- episode stints on tons of tv series. Meyers is currently married and is the mother of a young son, Oliver. You can follow her on Twitter – she seems like a nice lady!
Lindsey McKeon (Katie Peterson)
My notes for Katie Peterson said “generic clean-cut 90s girl,” and I’m going to stick with that. She played sports and had kind of a Delia’s Catalog vibe. Post-Bayside, McKeon appeared as Taylor James on One Tree Hill, Tessa on Supernatural, and Marah Lewis on Guiding Light. Her IMDB bio is a bit vague but she sounds like a genuinely smart and interesting person – she likes to travel, is on the board of a nonprofit, enjoys reading, and, like Meryl Streep and my niece and nephew, hails from Summit, New Jersey. Lindsey was married last year, and has several film projects in the can.
Ben Gould (Nicky Farina)
Check out that Regulation Cute 90s Boy Haircut! This was one of those kids added a bit later in the series, after the original New Class started to age out. Ben continued to work as an actor into the early 2000s, with roles on Once and Again and E.R.
Christian Oliver (Brian Keller)
Brian Keller was a Swiss exchange student who was named Brian Keller, because presumably that was the most Swiss name SBTB execs could come up with? German-born Oliver was the cute foreign guy in the mid-90s. Remember Stacy’s love interest, Luca, from The Babysitter’s Club movie? Yep, that was him. More recently, he appeared in Valkyrie, but he has worked consistently on tv series, movies, and tv movies. Christian has a surprisingly serious website.
Richard Lee Jackson (Ryan Parker)
Ryan transferred from Valley (ooooh!) but he was actually all right. Since The New Class, Jackson has continued to act, most recently appearing on Grimm. He is also a musician and the current drummer for Enation, in which his brother Jonathan is the lead singer. He was married in 2005, and you can keep up with him via his website.
Samantha Becker (Maria Lopez)
In the ultimate proof that the showrunners of The New Class weren’t even trying, this character’s name is only one letter off from the name of one of the original series’ stars. If The New Class had gone on any longer, I’m sure we would have been treated to characters named Mark-Paul Gosselaark and Tiffany-Amber Thiessen. Samantha Becker is now known as Samantha Esteban, and recently appeared as Monica Garza on From Dusk Til Dawn. You may also recognize her as Letty from Training Day. I know I’ve said this about everyone so far but based on her Twitter she seems like a really nice person.
Salim Grant (R.J. ‘Hollywood’ Collins)
Why did they call him ‘Hollywood’? Didn’t they all live in L.A.? Grant has worked on and off as an actor since Saved By The Bell. He has primarily moved into music production, working with Rising Platform Productions LLC – ” a full service Production Company and Independent Record Label.”
Anthony Harrell (Cornelius ‘Eric’ Little)
After I shook off my confusion at Eric being a nickname for Cornelius (I’m sure they explained it?), I got a sense of deja vu. Didn’t I do this already? Yes. Prior to SBTB, Harrell appeared in Kids Incorporated, and he has already been featured in one of our Where Are They Now posts. He is currently a singer and performed with the R&B group Brutha.
Ashley Lyn Cafagna (Liz Miller)
After appearing as a regular on The Bold And The Beautiful, and guesting on series like Seventh Heaven, Ashley set her sights on loftier heights: contemporary Christian music. Now known as Ashley Tesoro – which means Ashley Treasure because she is such a gem (yeah, I majored in Spanish, what?), she released an album called Simply Worship in 2012. Okay, Tesoro is actually her husband’s surname, and together they run Tesoro Entertainment and Tesoro Records, Christian production companies. She has a one-year-old daughter, Gabriella, and also enjoys martial arts. You can look at her adorable family on Twitter.
Listen. I think we’re all on the same page when I say while Saved by the Bell is one of the most beloved TV shows of kids who grew up in the 90s, it’s not the best in terms of, say, storytelling or acting. It’s a show for teens and tweens, and in cases like myself, children under the age of 10. But because it was geared towards a younger crowd, they could get away with more ridiculous storylines, something that they wouldn’t have been able to get away with on “adult” programming.
That being said, we’re back with another installment of our Doing Lines series (you can catch the other ones here), and this time we’re heading to the Pacific Palisades and seeing what kind of trouble the kids got into during their five-year stint in high school.
Season 1
Episode 3 {The Gift}
Fun fact: the image on the TV is an exterior shot of John F. Kennedy Junior High School from Good Morning, Miss Bliss!!
Screech gets struck by lighting and suddenly has a superpower where he knows what will happen before it happens. Also, he acquires an afro.
Episode 5 {Screech’s Woman}
Zack decides to help Screech get a girlfriend but no one is willing to go out with him, so Zack dresses up as a girl named Babmi and goes on a date with Screech, but he starts to like Bambi frreal.
Episode 8 {Cream for a Day}
Screech accidentally invents a zit cream in chemistry class, which gets rid of pimples overnight. Kelly wins homecoming queen but uses the cream the night before – too bad the cream makes everyone’s face maroon.
Episode 11 {The Friendship Business}
Zack leads the gang in a project for business class, in which they have to create and market a product. They choose an item called Buddy Bands, but when their company becomes successful, the power gets to Zack’s head and Kelly, Jessie and Slater decide to make their own friendship-related item, Love Cuffs. Also, this timeless commercial.
Episode 12 {The Mamas and the Papas}
The gang participate in a project to simulate a domestic marriage, and everyone gets paired up. Jessie and Slater, Zack and Kelly (foreshadowing!!!) and Lisa and Screech. I think the most importnant thing to remember from this episode is that Lisa ALL OF A SUDDEN is allergic to Screech. Because she keeps sneezing and scratching everytime she’s close to him, Mr. Belding separates them and Screech becomes Zack and Kelly’s son, while Lisa goes over to the Slater/Spano family. Lisa’s allergy was never spoken of again.
Episode 14 {The Zack Tapes}
Zack learns about subliminal messaging and attempts to trick Kelly into going to the dance with him with a sneaky cassette tape. She finds out and decides to turn the tables on him. Ah the troubles of being a teen heartthrob.
Season 2
Episode 7 {Rent-a-Pop}
Mr. Belding wants to set up a meeting with Zack and his dad because Zack’s been failing his classes. Zack doesn’t want his father to find out, so “rents” an actor to be his dad, because, Los Angeles.
Episode 8 {Miss Bayside}
After watching The Unauthorized Saved by the Bell story, we learned that the writers asked the cast what their talents or hobbies were, and incoporated their answers to the scripts. TAT used to be a beauty queen, which explains the Miss Bayside pageant, but can/do real schools actually do this?
Episode 9 {Jessie’s Song}
It’s the infamous ‘I’m so excited’ episode. And honestly, my problem isn’t with Jessie’s ridiculous addiction to caffeine pills, it’s that a trio of teens from the Pacific Palisades, and called Hot Sundae, easily got the attention of music executives. They were on the fast track to stardom until Jessie’s freakout!
Episode 10 {Model Students}
A photographer comes to Bayside and “discovers” Kelly after Zack and Screech secretly take pix of the girls in swimsuits and make a “Girls of Bayside calendar”. The photographer gives Kelly the opportunity to go to Paris to be a model. Zack isn’t okay with this. Is this photographer somehow in cahoots with the music execs who wanted to sign Hot Sundae?
Episode 12 {Close Encounters of the Nerd Kind}
This is truly one of the more ridiculous storylines to ever come to Bayside. A tabloid is offering money for photos of real aliens so Zack and Slater dress Screech up as an alien and film him being creepy at the school to fool the tabloid. Except a special agent with the government is convinced Screech is a real alien.
Episode 13 {Running Zack}
Zack finds out he’s part Native American and to learn more about his roots, befriends a man named Chief Henry who has a great impact on Zack. Meanwhile, Jessie finds out her ancestors used to be slave owners and spends the rest of the episode ‘apologizing’ to Lisa. I’m convinced at least one scene in this episode is slightly racist.
Episode 14 {The Babysitters}
Kelly’s parents leave their baby son with Kelly who has to bring him to school (because, hello, she’s a teenager), but when she has to take school pictures, she’s forced to leave her baby brother behind with the gang. Honestly, why didn’t Mr. Belding or any of the teachers or any of the students not notice baby Billy and alert social services or something??
Episode 15 {The Fabulous Belding Boys}
Mr. Belding reluctantly lets his surfer dude brother Rod serve as a substitute teacher and immediately all the students flock to him because of his laid back nature. Rod suggests taking the kids on a white-water rafting trip, but just before they leave, Rod tells his bro that he can’t take the kids because he has a date with a girl – and Zack overhears the whole thing. Mr. Belding is left with covering for Rod but they end up having a lot more respect and appreciation for their principal at the end. Also, the title of this episode sounds super gay. Like literally gay.
Season 3
Episode 7 {Check Your Mate}
The annual chess competition between Bayside and Valley gets ugly when Valley plays dirty and steals his lucky beret. In retaliation, Zack and Slater decide to switch Valley’s best chess player, a Russian exchange student, with Zack in a wig. I guess I never realized it until now, but these kids really were into disguises. Must have kept the local wig store in business.
Episode 9 {Fake I.D.s}
Zack meets at girl at The Max named Danielle who is a student at USC, so naturally, Zack pretends to also be a college kid who’s majoring in photojournalism. He agrees to meet her at The Attic, a night club for kids 18 and over, which obviously requires fake I.D.s. While at the club, Zack, Slater and Screech spot Jeff, Kelly’s boss (aka the skeezebucket Kelly wanted to date so she promptly dumped Zack) kissing another girl. Zack tries to tell Kelly what he saw at the Attic but didn’t believe him, on account of jealousy. This episode is a reminder that the gang basically lived out things I would never have the balls to do as a teen. Fake IDs and sneaking into a club? I’d much rather stay in and watch The Baby-Sitters Club Movie on repeat.
Episode 11 {Pipe Dreams}
In one of those *the more you know* episodes, this one tackled the environment and saving it, etc. Oil is found in the school’s football field, and the kids go crazy thinking of what they’ll do with all the money. However, they soon find out that ~getting rich comes with a price~
Episode 16 {All in the Mall}
The gang fails at buying U2 concert tickets, and when they accidentally find a shoebox full of cash, shenanigans ensue. This never happened to me when I went to the mall. The only thing that went down was me trying to avoid eye contact with anyone I went to high school with.
Episode 17 {SATs}
Jessie gets a 1205 on the SATs while Zack miraculously scores a 1502, sending overachiever Jessie into a tailspin. For you kiddies that aren’t American or took the SATs after 2005, a perfect score on the SATs during this time was a 1600. So naturally, Jessie is as confused as all of us to learn of Zack’s score, especially because this is a kid who puts no effort into learning or anything relating to academia.
Super megahot Hollywood actor Johnny Dakota chooses Bayside as the location for an anti-drug commercial but the catch is that Johnny himself uses drugs! A celebrity doing drugs?! Actually I think his drug of choice was pot UGH EVEN WORSE.
Episode 22 {Rockumentary}
This is personally one of my fave episodes, and it seemingly comes out of nowhere. Casey Kasem returns to give a Behind the Music-esque documentary about Zack Attack (the band all the gang is in, obvs), and their rise to fame from a garage band to superstar band. It was never explained how they all suddenly learned how to sing and play instruments.
Episode 24 {Home for Christmas}
Zack has a crush on a girl who works at the mall, and later finds out she and her dad are homeless. Again, this is one of those *very special* episodes that makes you think twice before you judge the girl working at a department store.
Season 4
Episode 4 {Student Teacher Week}
The students take over for the teachers – Zack becomes principal for the day. And hangs up posters of Paula Abdul and Guns n Roses next to each other.
Episode 3 {Screech’s Spaghetti Sauce}
Screech makes a spaghetti sauce he sells on TV, and Punky Brewster pretends to fall for him to get his recipe. They even come up with a fun catch phrase that I still have stuck in my head after all these years: “The sauce you can have, but the secret, she’s a mine.”
Episode 18 {The Video Yearbook}
The gang decides to make a video yearbook instead of the traditional one, and Zack’s plan to use the girls’ videos as a dating service backfires when Kelly starts receiving a bunch of calls from rando guys.
Episode 20 {Snow White and the Seven Dorks}
The gang is all in a rap version of Snow White and the Seven Dwarves but when Jessie and Zack find out they have to kiss in the final scene they get all weird about it and question their feelings for each other, and subsequently fall out with Slater and Kelly in the process. And they take the drama to the stage. Get it??
Episode 21 {Earthquake!}
An earthquake hits Bayside and Zack is stuck in the elevator with Mr. Belding’s pregnant wife who goes into labor. Reminder Zack is an 18 year old Senior in high school who just delivered his principal’s son.
The school holds a contest for who can write the best school song (BTW do schools actually do this? Our high school has been using the same ‘school song’ since the 1900s and includes the words ‘rev’rie’ and ‘retrospection’). Zack is determined to win the contest so he can be remembered for something positive before he graduates, as opposed to his scheming ways. But it’s those scheming ways that brings him down in the end. Friendly reminder that I tried to convince my 8th grade music teacher that we needed to sing this song at our graduation. I lit’rally taped the song on a cassette and brought it in to school.
One of the best parts of watching Saved by the Bell in present day is getting to comment on the absolutely unbelievable 90s fashion that was paraded around on the show. Because the sitcom centered on a group of teens, they had to wear what the teens were wearing back in the day. Just like the video yearbook the gang left for the Class of 2003, the show itself leaves us with a time capsule of what it was like to be hip and cool in the early 90s. And as thankful as we are for the treasure trove of bad/good fashion, that doesn’t stop us from making our own commentary on it. Here are just a few select styles the Bayside bunch wore throughout their time on our TV screens.
T: Apparently at this photo shoot, Mario was the only one who was running hot because he clearly needed to unbutton his shirt for all to see. You don’t see Dustin complaining in his abstract painting shirt or Zack whining in his surprisingly normal outfit. Someone get a Beyonce fan on Lopez.
M: Something about the cut of Zack’s t-shirt makes him look like his torso is on backwards. Something we never talk about when we talk about 90s clothes: those big-ass sneakers everyone wore. Look at Slater and Zack. Those are some “me and my retiree church group are taking a bus tour of Germany” sneakers.
T: I remember watching SBTB as early as 1st grade, so I was a little younger than the teenagers at Bayside High. Therefore, the first impression I had of high school was that of these kids. Yeah, the ones you see up there. Is this what teens really wore back then? All I’m saying is that if I had to pick one of these people to be the “trendsetter” of the group, it definitely would NOT be Lisa. She’s the one who is super into shopping and fashion and even goes to college for it, but judging by this alone, one would think she’s practicing to become one of the ticket takers at a Broadway theater.
M: OH LORDY. Lisa is seriously in Playbill Yellow. She reminds me of Claudia Kishi, who was supposed to be “into fashion” as well, but that meant she’d wear Lisa’s outfit here with homemade clay bee earrings and a bracelet that encased her hand in an entire, active beehive. There’s a lot going on here, but I also want to take a moment for Mario’s jeans, which make him look like he’s rocking a full diaper.
T: Remember when aerobics were really popular in the 80s/90s? I blame Jane Fonda. For that fad and this look. No one wears these bright, spandex, outfits to the gym anymore, right? IDK I hate the gym.
M: Not sure, because everything I wear at the gym could also be worn by a child at PE class or field day. But I wish I had these outfits. If anyone wants to buy me a spandex crop-top workout suit, I will wear it to work out and post photos. I think this was the 90s version of wearing fun sneakers to go running so you hate it a little less. But what is the function of those belts? YOU ARE WEARING SPANDEX. It should hold itself up just fine.
T: Technically this is some kind of press tour the cast did to promote the show, but can we all just take a minute to admire what exactly is going on here. MPG and TAT (Mark Paul Gosselaar & Tiffani Amber Theissen, obvs) are being the heartthrobs that they are and smiling and looking directly into the camera with their fresh to death outfits, Mario Lopez is still getting the hang of this celebrity thing and Dustin Diamond is looking off into the distance and has spent the past hour trying to find the gum he put in his pants pocket.
M: I know I was like 5, but how did I miss that this show was just Zack, Kelly, then a bunch of garbage people? Dustin looks like all of the boys in junior high whose moms would buy their uniform pants a size too big to “grow into them.” You really gotta hand it to 1992, when a beautiful teenage girl could appear in a bra top (a bustier, according to Selena RIP), and still somehow look frumpy.
T: Ok, so I lied. Lisa clearly is a trendsetter. She was the inspiration behind Seinfeld’s Puffy Shirt, right?
M: Look at the solid four inches of lace at the bottom of her white shorts! Damn. That is a LOOK.
T: Looking back on all these pix, it’s clearly Zack and Kelly that have the most timeless looks of them all, no? #IShipIt
M: I want Kelly Kapowski’s entire wardrobe and I’m not even sorry. Meanwhile, Spano looks like a travel agent who can never quite amass enough frequent flyer miles to escape from her existential ennui. Now that I know about Lark Voorhies’ religious beliefs, I find myself looking at every one of her outfits and going “maybe it’s because she’s a Jehovah’s Witness?” But it’s not like they have special underwear or anything.
T: For some context, this was the episode where Mr. Belding’s cool yet unreliable brother Rod shows up and promises to take the class on a trip white water rafting. This explains why Lisa’s wearing an all-camo shirt/skirt combo and holding a Louis Vuitton caboodle, and why Slater looks like he’s practicing to become one of the Village People.
M: Are they all going white water rafting in entirely different climates? Zack has on a fleece vest and a denim tuxedo, that one extra with the flat-top is in a sweatshirt that looks like a design you’d see on a pool raft, and Slater is dressed like a nice young mom catching fire flies with her children in a detergent commercial.
T: Slater’s jeans look super uncomfortable, but all I can think is that I want to find Lisa’s outfit and wear it for Halloween. Like what even is the inspiration behind this? TEXAS FOREVER 21, AMIRITE LADIES??
M: Early 90s trend that hasn’t come back yet: those dresses with the bodice that ended in a crotch triangle with the flouncy layered skirt attached. They were the thing when we were in kindergarten or so.
Screech looks like a sad quirky boy from a Wes Anderson movie.
T: I think everyone’s pissed off in this picture because they all realized they would go down in history as one of the most ridiculously dressed casts in TV. Also, a lot of denim on denim.
M: Photos of groups of people in the late 80s/early 90s almost give you a stress headache because there’s so much happening at once. Really weird to think this was at the same time as Seinfeld, where everyone looked sort of earth toned and beigey. We mentioned in our live blog of The Unauthorized Saved By The Bell Story that the kids looked way too modern. Turns out we were right: the costume designers didn’t even try. This is why teens today have such a warped idea of what the 90s really looked like.
I’m getting more and more confused as to why Lisa and Screech are supposed to be such a mismatched pair. Look at those getups. They are made for each other.
T: Okay, but like, Slater’s wearing those jeans again. Did they really not have a budget to buy different pants? Speaking of pants, Screech is definitely wearing those Zumbas (Zumbas?) like it’s his job. Ok well technically it is. I feel like he came out of the womb wearing those.
M: I hope he has a provision in his will that he has to be buried in those pants.
When Good Morning, Miss Bliss hit the airwaves over two decades ago, we never could have guessed that it would have spawned the tween tv hit of the 90s, Saved By The Bell – which in turn inspired the spinoff Saved By The Bell: The College Years, which led to the late 90s tribute Saved By The Bell: The New Class, which I think segued into a later version of SBTB: The New Class, which all generated so much interest that Dustin Diamond wrote a book about it, which loosely inspired tonight’s Lifetime movie, The Unauthorized Saved By The Bell Story. It’s like that nursery rhyme, The House That Jack Built – except this is the house that Zack built, and one of the stages of building it involved procuring a butt-ton of neon paint.
Despite all those iterations of Saved By The Bell, we all know that there is one true Bayside Clique: Zach, Screech, Slater, Kelly, Jessie, and Lisa. Plus sometimes Violet, Tori, or occasionally a kid in a wheelchair or an overweight girl who shows up for an episode to teach us all a lesson. Tonight we’ll see all new kids playing our favorite 90s teens, so let’s see how they stack up against the old class, shall we?
Then come back tomorrow for our live blog of The Unauthorized Saved By The Bell Story! (We’re live blogging it, well, live – but posting it the next day because we’re in two separate time zones.) And if you’re a true Bayside Tiger, come back every day this week as we celebrate Saved By The Bell Week here on Cookies + Sangria!
Zack Morris
The Character:
You know those people who are natural protagonists? They aren’t necessarily smarter than everyone else, or funnier, or better looking, but somehow they’re the main character of every scenario they’re in? That’s Zack Morris. Like Early Bart Simpson made human, Zack is a neon-wearing 90s rascal with a penchant for mischief.
The Actor:
Mark-Paul Gosselaar:
A major difference between young actors in the 90s and today was the level of public exposure. Aside from the occasional Teen Beat feature, we didn’t know much about the “real” Zack. He wasn’t trailed by paparazzi or spouting political opinions on Twitter, but after the fact we’ve learned that he hooked up with all of the members of the Bayside cheerleading squad (that’s Jessie, Lisa, and Kelly for you newbies). Gosselaar is an American-Dutch-Indonesian who lucked into the role of a lifetime after a career as a child model.
Post-SBTB, you may know M.P.G. (in the tradition of cute boys in the 90s, he had three names) from N.Y.P.D. Blue, Raising The Bar, Franklin & Bash … and reprising his role of Zack Morris on Fallon. He is a father of three and races cars in his free time.
Dylan Everett:
You may know Dylan from Degrassi, which is Canadian Saved By The Bell (basically replace The Max with Tim Hortons). This Canadian kiddo has been around for almost a decade, with roles on children’s shows like Doodlebops and Superwhy, as well as a number of T.V. movies.
How He Spent The 90s
Mark-Paul Gosselaar:
Making day-glo t-shirts look almost cool; banging America’s Sweethearts Kapowski, Turtle, and Spano; making you believe you could somehow hatch up crazy schemes every week yet become best friends with your school’s administrators.
Dylan Everett:
Everett spent the first half of the 90s in God’s eyeball, or whatever it is you say about people who don’t exist yet: he was born in 1995. Presumably, he spent the latter half of the decade mastering tasks like not pooping himself, reciting the alphabet, and not biting kids on the playground. Because although Dylan was a seasoned child actor who began working at age 10, for him age 10 was 2005. Yikes.
Kelly Kapowski
The Character:
Kelly Kapowski was the girl every boy wanted to be with and every girl wanted to kill, a little bit, if you could do it without impunity, because she was so flipping perfect. Head cheerleader, most popular girl in school, beloved by all, and on-off girlfriend of Zack Morris, Kelly is that girl that still makes you say “ew” when you see how stunning she looks even years after graduation.
The Actor:
Tiffani-Amber Thiessen:
Even more perfect than Kelly Kapowski, Tiffani was Miss Junior America, a child model, and the valedictorian of her high school class (you know, when she was already a worldwide teen sensation). After Saved By The Bell she starred on 90210 and appeared in a number of films. You can see her now on White Collar on USA. She is also the married mother of a four-year-old daughter and has risen above the truly baffling double barreled name “Tiffani-Amber”: it’s just Tiffani Thiessen now.
Alyssa Lynch:
Lynch is a total newcomer, but as an apparently talented dancer and singer, she’s sure to bring the air of effortless, unattainable perfection needed to play Tiffani Thiessen.
How She Spent The 90s
Tiffani-Amber Thiessen:
Appearing on every teen TV touchstone, having 90s bangs that were big but not too big, dating 90s dreamboat Brian Austin Green (see, 3 names!), being better than you.
Alyssa Lynch:
Not existing for 5 years, gestating for 9 months, missing the SBTB finale on account of not being born yet.
A.C. Slater
The Character:
Slater was a tough guy wrestler who had a soft side due to his childhood in a strict military home. His opposites attract relationship with Jessie Spano really stretched the bounds of the imagination. He was jocky and bro-ish, but also, in my opinion, the best-looking of the SBTB guys. Well, as a child I thought he looked “sticky” but kids are weird.
Fun fact: when we taught Vacation Bible School in high school there was a little girl who looked just like him, down to the jheri curl mullet. We posed for a photo holding a picture of A.C. up behind her head where she couldn’t see it. And that WASN’T the reason we got kicked out.
The Actor:
Mario Lopez
To think, today’s youth must think of Mario Lopez as “that guy who hosts stuff” instead of Bayside’s premier jock. And host stuff he does – from Animal Planet shows to Extra to The X Factor. Prior to SBTB, Mario was a child actor who appeared on Kids Incorporated and a real, live teen wrestler. You may also be familiar with Lopez’s work in A Chorus Line on Broadway, foxtrotting on Dancing With The Stars, and designing men’s underwear. He’s also the father of two future Bayside Tigers.
Julian Works
This kid’s been around a while (okay… since 2008) but already has amassed a number of screen credits, from that classic jumping off point, The Disney Channel, to TV series like Southland and Modern Family.
How He Spent The 90s:
Mario Lopez
Hitting the gym and the church on the regs – Lopez isn’t just a fitness buff, he’s a practicing Catholic. A smile like that AND a boy you could bring home to your mama? I bet the 90s were even kinder to Mario on the dating front than they were to Mark-Paul.
Julian Works
I just saw an interview where Julian said that his MOM was a big SBTB fan – like, that’s where we are generationally, guys. Julian is 23, so presumably he spent the 90s drooling in an exersaucer while his mom ogled A.C. Slater. If she could have known then where her kid would be now – well, that would have been weird.
Jessie Spano
The Character:
Jessie was a type-A studious gal who took her studies, her dance, and her family’s history in the slave trade very seriously. She is best known for tweaking out on caffeine pills, bringing the catch phrase “I’m So Excited – I’m So Excited – I’m so scared!!” into the TV lexicon for decades to come.
The Actor:
Elizabeth Berkley
Berkley was an accomplished dancer and model before ever gracing the halls of Bayside. After her stint as Jessie Spano, Elizabeth’s career swung way the heck in the other direction, in the NC-17 stripper flick Showgirls. A number of other TV, film, and theater credits have followed. She also runs a teen self-help program called Ask-Elizabeth. Elizabeth is also the married mother of a two-year-old.
Tiera Skovbye
Truly hitting all of the 90s kid bases, Tiera recently appeared in a TV adaptation of Goosbumps. This Canadian has been appearing on the small screen over the past 9 years or so. Like Berkley before her, Tiera was also a child model.
How She Spent The 90s
Elizabeth Berkley
From pill-popping perfectionist to stripper with a heart of I’m not sure what because I actually haven’t seen Showgirls, Elizabeth was the original good girl gone bad.
Tiera Skovbye
Based on a few #TBT snaps, Tiera spent the half of the 90s that she was alive for looking like the kind of baby where, if someone said she would grow up to get an international modeling contract by age 13, you’d say “eh… sounds about right, yeah.”
Lisa Turtle
The Character:
Lisa was the fashionista of Bayside High, a spoiled rich girl who could never quite shake the affections of geeky Screech. Somehow, she was the only one of the gang not to end up with a real relationship – even Screech had Violet. But Lisa had a passion for fashion so I guess she was too busy hanging out at the mall for all of that.
The Actor:
Lark Voorhies
Except for a few commercials and guest parts, Lisa Turtle was Lark’s first big role. After SBTB, Voorhies appeared on a few soap operas and sitcoms. There’s some debate over Lark’s current state, with some saying her self-published book was incomprehensible, and with rumors of drug use and mental illness. However, Lark herself says she’s doing just fine, thanks.
Taylor Russell McKenzie
Canadian Taylor (who would have thought? Seriously, this production is more Canadian than Anne of Green Gables) has only been acting for a couple years. But, she has a few projects filming now, so watch out for her if you’re, probably, Canadian!
How She Spent The 90s
Lark Voorhies
Carefully negotiating soap opera contracts so she wouldn’t have to do anything contrary to her Jehovah’s Witness upbringing and morals.
Taylor Russell McKenzie
Although non-existent for the entire run of Saved By The Bell, McKenzie was born a couple months before Saved By The Bell: The College Years first aired (on my seventh birthday, it turns out, so happy birthday to me, I guess). Who knows, that may have been one of the first TV programs she saw when she was old enough for her eyes to focus. Probably more like Hockey Night In Canada, though. Seriously, so Canadian, this movie.
Samuel “Screech” Powers
The Character:
There are no real geeks this geeky. Or, very few anyway. Screech was not only dorky, he was also so obnoxious and socially inept that frankly, he deserved to be ostracized. He wasn’t, of course: he was part of Bayside’s power clique along with Golden Boy Zack Morris, top athletes and head cheerleaders. So, what exactly makes him a geek if he’s palling around with the top of the social strata?
The Actor:
Dustin Diamond
After keeping a low pro outside of Saved By The Bell during the original run, Diamond has certainly capitalized on his signature role. After reprising Screech in Saved By The Bell: The New Class, Dustin penned a behind-the-scenes peek at SBTB and appeared as himself on numerous reality shows. He also produced and starred in his own sex tape, taking the Screech capitalizing just a tad too far.
Sam Kindseth
I’m going to go ahead and assume that Sam is a Canadian child actor until I hear otherwise – you may know him from Shameless. He looks like he may be a few years younger than his castmates, which is an easy way to make him look more nerdy than he actually is.
How He Spent The 90s
Dustin Diamond
Math time: Dustin Diamond claims to have slept with 2000 women. Sorry, I’m going somewhere with this. Let’s say this started at age 18, just for age of consent purposes or whatever, and ended in 2009, when he got married. That averages out to roughly 143 women per year, or a different woman every two and a half days or so. And that’s assuming that none of them were longer-term exclusive relationships. Safe to say, Dustin Diamond either spent the 90s boning more ladies than I’ve even met – or he spent the 2000s lying about how many ladies he boned in the 90s.
Ew.
Sam Kindseth
Sam appeared as an eight year old character in 2008, which means that there’s a very real possibility that he spent the entirety of the 90s still holed up in the respective gametes of Mother Nature and Father Time. Again, not really clear on what all of the myths are for when people don’t exist yet.
There are two reasons to be excited about fall premieres. One is finding out which new shows you will absolutely love (only to find them cancelled three episodes in – seriously, whatever new shows I start watching, DO NOT WATCH THEM. Me watching a new TV show is like seeing a wailing ghost woman on the British moors – it means death is imminent.). The other is returning to your favorite characters again after a long hiatus. It’s like the first day of school, seeing all of those familiar faces after 3 months. These TV characters are what Back To TV week is all about:
Drunk Mellie from Scandal
(Spoilers if you haven’t watched S3 yet!)
Oh, Mellie, Mellie, Mellie. If you are taking our advice to catch up on Scandal before the premiere airs, let’s just say that Mellie hasn’t had the easiest go of it for the past, oh, 15 or so years – but why feel those feelings when you can drink them instead? Drunk Mellie is the absolute last person that I would want “not mad, just disappointed” in me, and she does quiet, seething anger at Fitz so well. She also does loud, explosive anger — and sloppy sadness, and giggly goofiness, and calculating creepiness. Last year found Mellie drawing on the White House’s reserves of hooch and her mental and emotional reserves of bad-ass-ishness. Somebody please give Bellamy Young every award ever – or at least a stiff drink. She’s earned both.
Drunk Uncle from Saturday Night Live
And now for an entirely different kind of drunk – drunk uncle! Everyone has a drunk uncle. If you do not have a drunk uncle, check yourself, because you might be the drunk uncle. The thing is, you get to the end of his rants and you go “hmm… am I crazy, or did that almost make sense?” Like real-life drunk uncles everywhere, Drunk Uncle is confused by and angry with twitter, smart phones, YouTube, tumblr, and pressing 2 for English… everything you love, Drunk Uncle drinks to escape from. Bonus: sometimes he brings along his pals, Meth Nephew and Peter Drunklage. Drunk Uncle is just one of many reasons Bobby Moynihan is an utter delight and a true gem in the current SNL cast.
Tamra from The Mindy Project
Tamra is that coworker who drops random bits of information about herself that you’re shocked hadn’t come up immediately upon meeting her:
She’s a perfect foil to Mindy because, like Dr. Lahiri, she also has supreme self-confidence, and she isn’t afraid to call Dr. L. out when she has to:
On one hand, you’re pretty sure a lot of the time she’s just joking around and everyone else misses the point and thinks she’s serious:
But on the other hand, she doesn’t have time to pay attention to every tiny little detail at the office:
As written, this character could be aggravating, but Xosha Roquemore has brilliant timing and delivery and it all just works.
Nick Miller from New Girl
Are you a twenty- or thirty- something who could already be described as “crotchety?” Then Nick Miller’s your guy. Do you have absolutely no patience for people’s ineptitude or ridiculousness, yet somehow end up dealing with it anyway because your friends are (occasionally) inept and ridiculous? Yep. Nick, too. The more Nick hates everything, the more I love him.
Like Tamra, this is a character that could be insufferable, but Jake Johnson brings out the lovable in “lovable curmudgeon.”
Gina from Brooklyn Nine-Nine
Years ago, after I jaywalked across an intersection, an elderly lawyer turned to me and said “wow, you must be pretty important.” I smiled and said thank you, head in the air and ego boosted by the old guy in tweed who realized that yes, I am important. An hour or so later realized that that was not a compliment. Gina Linetti would have lived her whole life without realizing that wasn’t a compliment, and that is why I love her.
Chelsea Peretti has been on the comedy scene for quite a while now, and I’m so glad this role is giving her the exposure she deserves.
The Bravermans on Parenthood
I love these guys. Sure, some of them can only fairly be described as “the worst, ever” (Sydney, a child), but overall it’s such a realistic picture of life in a certain type of mid-sized American family. The dinner scenes with everyone talking at once and the illogistics of getting everyone into one photo are realistic as hell.
Leslie Knope from Parks And Recreation
I could have had a separate entry on this list for almost every character on Parks. From April, who I think secretly loves the whole world, to Worst People In The World, John-Ralphio and Mona Lisa, to avuncular Ron Swanson, to Andy Dwyer Dream Man, there’s not just one reason I’m already getting emotional about the end of this show already – there are about 15 of them. But Leslie Knope ties the whole show together, and I’m just so happy that she exists on T.V. Leslie is driven, kind, cooperative, enthusiastic, and the best friend in the world — all qualities that she displays to a fault. It’s true that we’d love anything that Amy Poehler did, but mark my words, Leslie Knope will be known as one of the best sitcom protagonists of all time. We’re going to miss her when she’s gone but for now, we’re just glad she’s back on our TV screen sometime this fall…ish.
It’s Day 4 of Back to TV Week, and today we’re giving you a handy guide as to who you’re going to be obsessed with for the new TV season. Okay, maybe we won’t make your expectations THAT high, but the following folks are either completely new to TV or have been secondary players for a while and are finally getting their shot at being big time TV stars. So feel free to judge these actors based on the blurbs below before you even see any of their shows, or just watch them when they come on your television sets next month. (Helpful tip: All the folks I chose are from shows I think are worth watching for at least one episode!) Mix and match, trade one for the other, whatever you feel is best for your personal TV viewing. Game on!
Alfie Enoch, How to Get Away with Murder
Stats
Previous Work: Sherlock, Broadchurch, oh and Harry Potter. All of the movies. BECAUSE HE WAS DEAN FREAKING THOMAS. DEAN THOMAS, Y’ALL!
Why You Should Watch Him: As a British actor, Alfie, sorry, Alfred, grew up doing all the Harry Potter movies and that’s what he became known for around the world. He stayed in his native England and worked on a few projects there, but this is the first time U.S. audiences are seeing him not only with an American accent but as an adult. Also, this show is from Shondaland and I will forever watch anything she creates. This is the show to watch this season.
When You Can Watch Him: Thursdays @ 10pm beginning on September 25th #TGIT
Previous Work: Hawaii Five-0, Smash, Camp Rock, Jonas, Jonas L.A., the hot Jonas Brother
Why You Should Watch Him: I’ve said it before, I’ll say it again. Nick Jonas is the only Jonas brother worth caring about. Ever since his whole diabetes crusade, dude has gotten JACKED. Like, you’ve seen this Instagram selfie he posted, right? Which makes him perfect for this role as a young MMA fighter who has a ton of promise. Pair him with Matt Lauria from Friday Night Lights/Parenthood, and I’m sold.
When You Can Watch Him: Wednesdays @ 9pm beginning on October 8th on DirecTV’s Audience network
Previous Work: Boston Public, CSI: New York, Psych, New Year’s Eve, the baby of New Kids on the Block
Why You Should Watch Him: Boy banders turn to TV on their down time, apparently. Joey Mac isn’t really stretching his acting ability in this one – he plays a guy from Boston who is obsessed with sports. I know, not a stereotype at all. It’s a traditional mutli-cam sitcom, which means it’s perfect for CBS and moms in middle America. But I mean, for other people too.
When You Can Watch Him: Thursdays @ 9:30pm beginning on October 30th on CBS
Previous Work: Key and Peele, Whitney, Chelsea Lately
Why You Should Watch Him: Tone plays a bailiff whose name is Tedward. Tedward Mulray. And if the name doesn’t convince you to tune in, you should know that even for a sitcom, he provides excellent comic relief. That’s not a slight to the fab Kate Walsh in the slightest, BTW. In the trailer alone, Tone stands out. If you watch The Mindy Project, he reminds me of the hilarious Tamra, who is ridiculous but will also set you straight.
When You Can Watch Him: Thursdays @ 9pm beginning on October 2nd on NBC
Previous Work: Mixology, Men at Work, 7th Heaven, Parks and Recreation (Jerry’s daughter Millicent who dated Chris!)
Why You Should Watch Her: I feel like she plays a somewhat innocent straight girl on sitcoms a lot, but that’s because she’s great at it. It’ll be fun to see what her relationship is like with Casey Wilson’s character in this show, and if it goes one for at least more than one season, Sarah is sitting pretty for her TV career.
When You Can Watch Her: Tuesdays @ 9pm beginning on October 14th on NBC
Previous Work: Doctor Who, NTSF:SD:SUV, Guardians of the Galaxy
Why You Should Watch Her: If you watch Doctor who, Karan is no rookie. However if you’re an American who’s not into that kind of stuff, Karen is a fairly unknown to mainstream television. Selfie’s a take on My Fair Lady/Pygmalion and her name is legit Eliza Doolie, and her mentor to make her less social media obsessed/more classy is a guy named Henry, played by John Cho. That’s right nerds, Sulu and Amy Pond are probs going to hook up if the show goes full season. And after seeing the pilot (which you can view online now), it has a good chance of a going all year.
When You Can Watch Her: Tuesdays @ 8pm beginning on September 30th on ABC
Why You Should Watch Him: He may have been an annoying Warbler from a competing school on Glee, but Grant is full on superhero in the much-talked about The Flash TV series. The CW is really capitalizing on its hottie heroes, and Grant is definitely going to join the ranks of his network pals. Also, bonus; Dawson Leery’s dad is in this show!
When You Can Watch Him: Tuesdays @ 8pm beginning on October 7th on CW
Previous Work: Writer on Saturday Night Live (he wrote Stefon sketches!)
Why You Should Watch Him: John Mulaney is mostly known for his stand-up comedy and work on SNL. After a year of his show floating around NBC, it found a home at FOX and now people get to finally see his starring show – and compare him to Jerry Seinfeld. Probably because the first scene in the trailer is him doing stand-up. I just really want him to do well. And I’m not just saying that because he’s a fellow Asian (he’s not).
When You Can Watch Him: Sundays @ 9:30pm beginning on October 5th on FOX
Previous Work: Mad Men, Drop Dead Diva, The Mindy Project
Why You Should Watch Him: Oh Ginsberg. (Mad Men minor spoiler) I always knew you would go crazy one day. His role on Mad Men is completely different than as Andrew on rom-com A to Z. If you saw him on the Mindy Project, he’s much more like that on this new show than Ginsberg. And it’s fantastic.
When You Can Watch Him: Thursdays @ 9:30pm beginning on October 2nd on NBC
Previous Work: 30 Rock, The Sopranos, The Wolf of Wall Street, Once The Musical, titular star of How I Met Your Mother
Why You Should Watch Her: Because if anybody deserves support on television, it’s Cristin Milioti. If you watched HIMYM and are on the side of ‘the last 10 minutes of the show didn’t actually happen’, you should watch A to Z. It has the same romantic comedy feel that HIMYM had, but hopefully this won’t end the same way. The pilot is currently available to watch before the premiere in October, and after having built it up so much in my head, I can say that it was worth it. A to Z is definitely on my must watch list this season.
When You Can Watch Her: Thursdays @ 9:30pm beginning on October 2nd on NBC
The long, lazy days of summer are winding down, and we couldn’t be more thrilled about it – because it means TV season is upon us! However, there’s enough summer left before premiere week to squeeze in a couple kayaking trips, or finally go on that weekend-long hike, or throw a big outdoor barbeque for all of your friends. Or – better idea! – you can binge watch all of these great shows and be caught up by the time the next season begins. With 1-3 seasons under their belt, these are shows you should be watching – and with a proper binge watching technique, we think they’re shows you can be watching. Let’s make those last weeks of summer count, kids.
Traci’s Suggestions
For beginner binge-watchers looking for a laughcry: About a Boy
Seasons to catch up on: 1
Next season begins: Tuesday, October 14th on NBC
Why you should be watching:
This NBC sitcom was a mid-season replacement earlier this year (and we also talked about it then too) and only has 13 episodes that are 22 minutes long! About a Boy is based off the 2002 movie starring Hugh Grant, which was based on the 1998 novel by Nick Hornby, but the pilot is the only episode that is like the movie. After that, it’s about the boy, brilliantly played by Benjamin Stockham,, his mom, brilliantly played by Minnie Driver, and the bachelor neighbor who turns out to be the best father figure in the boy’s life, brilliantly played by David Walton. If you like your comedies with a side of crying and a handful of heart, this show’s for you. This show’s also for you if you are a fan of Parenthood or Friday Night Lights, as it has the same tone as those shows, except with a few more jokes. Also it’s by creator/executive producer Jason Katims, who helmed said shows. He really can do nothing wrong.
For the rom-com loving semi-professional TV watchers: The Mindy Project
Seasons to catch up on: 2
Next season begins: Tuesday, September 16th on FOX
Why you should be watching:
Just like a fine wine or Mindy’s alma mater, The Office, this show only gets better with time. With every episode, the writers and actors found their true voice, and by the end of season two, it became not only one of my favorite shows, but it was hard to believe that such a strong series was only in its second season. As the creator, executive producer and star of the show, there’s no doubt that Mindy Kaling’s own voice is all over the series, which is a good thing. To be clear, Mindy doesn’t play herself, she plays a woman named Mindy who is a gynecologist with her own practice. I can’t think of a female in television who is like her – there’s Tina Fey, but she and Mindy have such different comedic styles which are both great in their own ways. While Tina used 30 Rock as an offbeat showcase for her humor, Mindy takes the nuances of her friendships and romances and amplifies them to create a fairly accurate portrait of life as a working single woman in 2014. And for gals like me, I greatly appreciate that there is a minority woman representin’ in a sea of (for lack of a better term) white men in comedy. There are 46 half hour (22 minute) episodes to catch up on before September 16th, but I promise they will go faster than you can say Beyonce Pad Thai (you’ll eventually get that reference).
For the dramatically inclined hardcore TV addicts: Scandal
Seasons to catch up on: 3
Next season begins: Thursday, September 25th on ABC
Why you should be watching:
My friends know I’m insane about television, so when they ask me for suggestions as for what to watch next, I always say Scandal. Always. This is mainly for selfish reasons so I can have other people to freak out with when shit goes down on the show. But really, the show itself is really good you guys. If for some reason you don’t know what Scandal’s about (where have you been), the basic plot centers around Olivia Pope (played by the gorgeous and talented Kerry Washington), who is a Washington D.C. fixer. She makes bad situations better, or even makes them go away completely. Oh, small side note is that she’s having an affair with the President. Who’s married. With kids. AND YOU STILL FIND YOURSELF ROOTING FOR THE PEOPLE HAVING THE AFFAIR. But that’s one of the best aspects of the show – the line of right and wrong is always blurred and you don’t know whose side to be on.
Plus the show moves QUICKLY. There are 47 hour-long episodes but they go by super fast (if you binge-watched Grey’s Anatomy like me, I’m convinced Shonda Rhimes puts crack in her eps to make you want to watch one right after the other). Not only time wise, but plot wise too – I have never seen so many things happen in an hour than in Scandal. People die, people lie, people have family members you never knew existed – it’s a lot to take in, but it’s so worth it. Also, you want to catch up (all three seasons are on Netflix instant!) so you can watch live come September. Another great part about watching the show live is live tweeting. Most of the cast tweets live from both coasts every Thursday, which is takes the viewing experience to a whole new level. And if you’re concerned about watching 47 episodes in a month – just know that I watched seasons 1 and 2 of Scandal in 8 days. What’s even more impressive is that that’s not even my best record for binge-watching a series. Side note: I just remembered there’s a site where you can calculate how many hours of your life you’ve spent watching TV, and it’s scary. Unrelatedly, I’m gonna go play outside for the next year.
The Golden Globes got this one right – Brooklyn Nine-Nine is an ensemble workplace comedy with clever writing and a hilarious cast. Despite TV’s love affair with police procedurals and sitcoms about coworkers, it’s also the only combination of the two currently on the small screen. With comedy vets Andy Samberg, Chelsea Peretti and Joe Lo Truglio, cop show vet Andre Braugher, talented (relative) newcomers Stephanie Beatriz and Melissa Fumero, and a former football player just because (Terry Crews), this is a cast with a rapport like people you’d find at an actual workplace. Except, you know, funnier.
If you are a sitcom lover still reeling over the loss of The Office and 30 Rock, and bracing for the end of Parks And Recreation, and kind of confused about what’s going on with Community, this show will fill the hole in your heart and also the one in your TV schedule.
For insomniacs and horror fans who aren’t afraid of the dark: American Horror Story
Seasons to catch up on: 3 – or zero. We’ll explain.
Next season begins: Wednesday, October 8th on FX
Why you should be watching:
Look. I’m not a horror movie person, really, but this is just good television. Let’s talk about the cast: Jessica Lange, Kathy Bates, Sarah Paulson, Zachary Quinto, Angela Bassett, Dylan McDermott, Connie Britton, Gabourey Sidibe – although not all of them appear in all seasons, some of the best actors of today are on AHS. The whole thing is headed up by Ryan Murphy after he jumped ship from Glee (can you blame him?). And the format – AHS functions like a reperatory company, with actors taking different roles in the different seasons. That means each season tells an entirely different story. They can all be watched independently of each other, so you only have to catch up on as much as you want to.
The seasons are themed. In the past we’ve had Murder House (ghosts!), Asylum (psychological torture!), and Coven (witches!), but the upcoming season will be scariest of all: Freak Show (clowns!). Such is my fear of the circus that I was terrified of my sister’s clown doll for my whole childhood, and one of my brothers would swing open my bedroom door and smile a giant, frozen clown smile while singing that awful circus calliope song. This is going to be full-on spooky.
For escapists with time to spare: Once Upon A Time
Seasons to catch up on: 3
Next season begins: Sunday, September 28 on ABC
Why you should be watching:
I think we all have those people who we trust implicitly when it comes to TV recommendations. Traci is one of mine, by the way, so you should probably watch what she tells you to watch because she always nails it. Another is my sister-in-law. A couple years ago she told me about Once Upon A Time, and I was like “girl … fairy tales? Not sure.”
I started watching a few weeks ago and I am sold. Once Upon A Time is set in Storybrooke, Maine, a town populated by fairy tale characters. The evil queen levied a curse (do you levy curses or did law school just ruin me as a person?) and everybody forgot about their fairy tale past and lived as normal people – until Snow White’s daughter shows up on her 28th birthday and sets the wheels a-turning. Each episode contains a plot line in the present day as the townspeople try to figure out what’s up, and a fairy tale backstory of one of the characters in their former life.
Remember in the TGIF days when each of the ABC shows had an episode set at Disney every year? Once Upon A Time is like the ultimate ABC-Disney tie-in. I mean, don’t worry, Anna and Elsa have already been cast. But it’s not all fluff. Once Upon A Time is the brainchild of the creators of Lost, so there’s a lot of crazy theories you can keep track of, plus a bunch of Lost references.
I just finished season one and I’m not sure if I’ll get through two more in the next month. It’s certainly doable. But if you don’t mind spoiling yourself, you could probably watch season one, select random episodes of the other season to watch, and use Wikipedia for the rest.
It’s a very exciting day for us because it’s Emmys Day, y’all!! Today is our Super Bowl, and we’re super excited to see what kind of shenanigans go down (on a school night). We’re kicking things off around 8pm EST/5pm PST, so come back and join us! Friendly reminder that we’re too cheap to update and get legit liveblogging technology, so please refresh this page every 5 to 10 minutes for our up-to-the-minute updates! Also, feel free to join us on Twitter as we’ll be updating that too.
ALSO: Today also marks the start of our Back to TV Week, which means for the next four days, we’ll be discussing one of our favorite topics – television! As sad as it is to see summer come to an end soon, it also means that our fave shows are coming back and we’ll be talking about that too. So check in all this week, TV nerds!
M: Christina Hendricks is wearing a red sari-inspired dress. Now, I’ve heard my whole life that redheads can’t wear red – and internalized it to the extent that when we used to make fun of my friend’s Hardcore music, my fake lyrics included “I don’t think I look good in red!” But Christina Hendricks does look good in red, obviously. But the real star here is her husband Geoffrey Arend, who has the cutest little face.
Hayden Panettiere is pregnant – with, she says, a girl baby. Her boobs are way the hell out. Hayden’s, that is.
Julie Bowen is wearing a very pretty floral dress. Am I crazy or do some of the flowers look blurred out, like they were witnesses to a mafia crime?
January Jones: you know how bangs make some people look like they’ve entered the same witness protection program as Julie Bowen’s floral dress? That’s what’s going on with January Jones.
Julia Louis-Dreyfus, one of my favorite humans, looks amazing in a reddish, hot pink-y dress. Her clutch goes onto the “clutch cam” and that thing is full of finger prints (it’s gold) – so in whatever crime I’m lining up witnesses for, we have some forensic evidence.
Heidi Klum is proving that “intermediate red-pink color” is really the shade of the evening! She’s also proving that next to her, everybody else looks like an actual monster.
Lena Dunham looks like she would do roller derby.
Sarah Silverman just opened her clutch to reveal a vaporizer. All the cool kids are going to be hanging out in the bathroom with Sarah and her vape pen tonight.
Jimmy Fallon gave a shout-out to his wife and baby, who he says love E! Apparently baby Winnie has inherited Jimmy’s ability to have everything be his favorite.
KATE MCKINNON. Unlike in emails from your mother, that caps lock was both intentional and necessary.
Claire Danes: also in red. Givenchy. She looks like a Christmas ornament and that’s a compliment, I freaking love Christmas.
T: Literally said outloud: “OH MY GOD TAYLOR KITSCH” and clutched my heart. Forgot it was a possibility he’d be here. Thanks, The Normal Heart.
M: I don’t understand Kerry Washington’s dress. When I was a kid there used to be an infomercial for The Infinite Dress, which was like 18 different dresses in one. That’s how I feel here. I still want the infinite dress, BTW.
T: POEHLER IS A FREAKING VISION.
M: Did I miss her?? I saw a picture on tumblr but I’ve been switching between E! and NBC.
T: They briefly showed her walking in front of photographers on E!, but alas, no interview. She is wearing all silver like a GD goddess.
M:OK, I did catch that. When I have a day when I feel extra gross looking my mental refrain is always “Ugh, I hardly look like a person.” That’s how I feel about Amy Poehler tonight. But, I mean, in a positive sense. How are you a real person??
So, I have a friend who has face blindness, basically. Like, he didn’t recognize his sister because she changed her hair. Anyway, that’s how I feel tonight. Because first January Jones, now Gwen Stefani. She looks nothing like herself.
Laverne Cox is taking a page from Amy Poehler by not even looking like a person. She looks like an ANGEL. OITNB really cleans up nice.
T: For anyone wondering why this is all going down on a Monday and not Sunday like normal entertainment awards shows, it all has to do with Sunday Night Football in September and the MTV VMAs already booked for last night… a lot of drama. Just like in TV. See what I did there?
M: Oh, I saw.
You know around Christmas or on vacation when people say that there’s “too much excitement” for little kids, like they just can’t handle it? That’s how I feel about the VMAs and The Emmys back to back like this.
T: Amy & Tina responded to “New phone, who dis?” to Seth, which is also something I hope they will text ME one day.
“That’s right Jesse Pinkman made it. The serial killer on Dexter made it, but your mother didn’t make it kids, good night.” BUT THIS THO. #StillSaltyAboutHIMYM
M: UGH.
Seth’s analogy between HBO and that one kid who turned out way better than you thought he would is super act. It’s come a long way from Grease 2 and Fraggle Rock.
“Duck Dynasty was the most VCR-taped”.
T: I was really hoping Amy would give Fred the award but whatever. Ty looked really shocked. Also is the announcer doing the thing where she gives out random facts about the winner? “Ty was raised in Oregon”. Yeah, and “Amy Poehler was born as the second coming of Christ.”
M: “Amy Poehler’s first childhood memory is emerging fully formed from the sea atop an open shell.” Yeah, we’re substituting our own “fun facts” from this point forward.
Outstanding Supporting Actor In A Comedy Series
Andre Braugher, Brooklyn Nine-Nine
Adam Driver, Girls
Jesse Tyler Ferguson, Modern Family
Ty Burrell, Modern Family
Fred Armisen, Portlandia
Tony Hale, Veep
Traci’s Pick: Tony Hale, Veep
As much as I like JTF/Ty Burrell/Modern Family, I’m really glad Tony Hale broke their winning streak. Besides the fact Tony’s hilarious in Veep, I also just want to see what bit he’ll do if he wins this year.
Molly’s Pick: Tony Hale, Veep
Exactly what Traci said.
WINNER: Ty Burrell, Modern Family
M: Yawwwwn. Ty Burrell seems like a very nice man and Modern Family is funny. But this is starting to feel like Cheerios winning Best Cereal. It’s good and all, but isn’t there something else out there by now?
T: Peter Pan looks wicked skinny, no?
M: She does know she doesn’t have to look like an 11 year old boy who lives on an island just yet right? [That was mean. The Emmy Awards would make me either stress-skinny or stress-eat, too.]
Outstanding Writing For A Comedy Series
David Crane and Jeffrey Klarik, Episodes
Louis C.K., Louie
Liz Friedman and Jenji Kohan, Orange Is The New Black
Alec Berg, Silicon Valley
Simon Blackwell, Tony Roche, and Armando Iannucci, Veep
Molly’s Pick: Liz Friedman and Jenji Kohan, Orange Is The New Black.
I’m not even clicking on that link because it makes me cry which I don’t think was the intent.
WINNER: Louis C.K., Louie
T: … why was Zooey SO EXCITED for Louie to win? Are they secret BFFs??
M: I hope so! But for an outstandingly written comedy episode that one sure did make me tear up a lot. These categories are getting pretty fuzzy.
T: “One half of the comedy team Guillermo and Kimmel. Please welcome Kimmel.” I legitimately LOLed at this.
“I mean alright alright alright already.” Remember when McConissance talked about Pluto or Venus or whatever at the SAG awards??
M: We probably should have done a prediction for what he would rant about this year.
Outstanding Supporting Actress In A Comedy Series
Mayim Bialik, The Big Bang Theory
Julie Bowen, Modern Family
Allison Janney, Mom
Kate Mulgrew, Orange Is The New Black
Kate McKinnon, Saturday Night Live
Anna Chlumsky, Veep
Traci’s Pick: Kate Mulgrew, Orange Is The New Black
Since this is the first year for OITNB in the Emmys, I feel like they’ll walk away with at least a few trophies. The brilliant Uzo Aduba (Crazy Eyes) has already won the Guest Actress in a Comedy Series prize, and hopefully Red will follow. Also, if Kate McKinnon wins I will run around my room screaming of happiness.
Molly’s Pick: Anna Chlumsky, Veep.
Sometimes I pretend I’m a Selina but I’m really more of an Amy. I will join you on your victory lap if Kate McKinnon wins. Or Kate Mulgrew, actually.
WINNER: Allison Janney, Mom
T: Allison Janney – love ya girl, but I didn’t realize that the 90s trend of velour is back in style. I mean I knew it, but I refused to believe it. You know what would make this speech amazing? If she did a version of The Jackal. That’s a little The West Wing ref for you folks.
M: Holy velour. It can stay in 1994 with choker necklaces. Someone wore one at the VMAs (Katy Perry??) and now that the 90s are over, the only people wearing chokers should be teen ghost girls from R.L. Stine books who need them to hold their heads on.
Also, Mom is a show on television, apparently.
T: OH FUCK. This Parenthood promo just made me cry. A 20 SECOND COMMERICIAL.
M Me too, because I somehow didn’t know it was the farewell season?? NO.
T: Unforunately, yes. Parenthood AND Parks ending in one year is basically the end.
M: Shit. Maybe I need to start watching Mom.
I appreciate that the folks at NBC are giving us a countdown until Jimmy Fallon shows up.
T: So this directing win for Gail Mancuso for Modern Family is actually worth it for this speech.
M: Like Elf, the Billy On The Street where he goes caroling with Amy Poehler is a Christmas thing that I could watch basically all year for a mood lift.
T: “Goble” OMG I AM CRYING.
M: Billy: “Miss, You’re a lesbian, you’re watching Orange Is The New Black?”
Lady: I am, but I’m not a lesbian.
Oh, ma’am. Your haircut says, at the least, that you entertained the idea in college.
Outstanding Lead Actor In A Comedy Series
Jim Parsons, The Big Bang Theory
Ricky Gervais, Derek
Matt LeBlanc, Episodes
Don Cheadle, House Of Lies
Louis C.K., Louie
William H. Macy, Shameless
Traci’s Pick: Jim Parsons, The Big Bang Theory
Just realized 5 out of 6 of these nominees are on cable, which is really interesting for this category. Remember the days of Fraiser and Everybody Loves Raymond? Anyways, I’m just saying Jim because he won last year.
Molly’s Pick: Louis C.K, Louie
This is literally the only show on this list I watch so that’s where my brain is. Also The Big Bang Theory makes me feel icky.
WINNER: Jim Parsons
M: I hope he says “Did I do that?” or whatever the hell his nerd catchphrase is.
T: Ugh. I hope Jim’s pay raise is worth all this. #Bazinga.
M: Ah yes, there it is.
T: I really like when Seth introduces his guests as “my good friend {insert name here}”. He’s good friends with a lot of people, I’ve found.
Ok, I need Jimmy Fallon elaborate on the whole Miley Cyrus homeless teen thing last night at the VMAs bc Jimbo looked mad confused.
M: “Amy Pueblo, Parks And Recreation”
Outstanding Lead Actress In A Comedy Series
Lena Dunham, Girls
Melissa McCarthy, Mike & Molly
Edie Falco, Nurse Jackie
Taylor Schilling, Orange Is The New Black
Amy Poehler, Parks and Recreation
Julia Louis-Dreyfus, Veep
Traci’s Pick: Amy Poehler, Parks and Recreation
Just like at the Golden Globes earlier this year, I’m saying Amy just so it’s out there in the universe in hopes she’ll win her first Emmy. If JLD wins, that’s cool too, but come on. Amy.
Molly’s Pick: Amy Poehler, Parks and Recreation
I’m also using The Secret on this one and picking Poehler. Agreed about JLD.
WINNER: Julia Louis-Dreyfus, Veep
T: Oh boy. We love Amy, obvs. But JLD always makes her acceptance speeches worth it. (Also I just stood up in hopes that would help Amy Pueblo win)
M: The comedy actress category always gives me a knot in the stomach. I feel like Venus and Serena Williams’ parents must feel.
Outstanding Reality-Competition Program
The Amazing Race
Dancing With The Stars
Project Runway
So You Think You Can Dance
Top Chef
The Voice
Traci’s Pick: The Voice
My heart will always and forever be with SYTYCD, but I don’t think it ever has a chance of winning. Hopefully I’m proved wrong.
Molly’s Pick: The Voice
Oh God. There are so many categories in this damn awards show.
WINNER:The Amazing Race
T: It’s like an Amazing Race to get up to the stage, amirite? (SYTYCD WAS ROBBED. YET AGAIN.)
M: Since SYTYCD didn’t win, the absolute only thing I cared about with this category was that Mindy Kaling and John Mulaney presented it.
T: Everything that comes out of Melissa McCarthy’s mouth is pure gold. Everything.
M: This bit is reminding me of the Q and As in the Carol Burnett show. All of my references are things your weird old aunt would say.
T: COLIN! CECILY! FRED!! I WANT TO BE IN THE SNL CORNER!!!
M: New awards show format idea. Just read out the rest of the nominees real quick then let us listen to the SNL corner talk amongst themselves for the next 2 hours.
T: I’m into it.
T: Do you think Larry Kramer is in the corner cursing and on his way back to NY right now?
M: I wish this was the Golden Globes so he and Amy Poehler could just get drunk together and talk about how they deserved to win.
Outstanding Supporting Actress In A Miniseries Or A Movie
Frances Conroy, American Horror Story: Coven
Kathy Bates, American Horror Story: Coven
Angela Bassett, American Horror Story: Coven
Allison Tolman, Fargo
Ellen Burstyn, Flowers In The Attic
Julia Roberts, The Normal Heart
Traci’s Pick: Allison Tolman, Fargo
Allison won the Critics’ Choice Award earlier this year and has been getting a lot of buzz, so I’m voting for her. But Ellen Burstyn always wins…
Molly’s Pick: Allison Tolman, Fargo
Friendly neighborhood reminder that Flowers In The Attic was really, really bad.
WINNER: Kathy Bates, American Horror Story: Coven
T: No but really, are these “fun facts” about the winner just about where they were born? Is it supposed to be funny?
M Fun fact: Kathy Bates lost a significant sum of money when her husband came home drunk as a pig celebrating and lit a fire on their money. (She’ll always be Molly Brown to me.)
Outstanding Supporting Actor In A Miniseries Or A Movie
Colin Hanks, Fargo
Jim Parsons, The Normal Heart
Joe Mantello, The Normal Heart
Alfred Molina, The Normal Heart
Matt Bomer, The Normal Heart
Martin Freeman, Sherlock: His Last Vow
Traci’s Pick: Matt Bomer, The Normal Heart
I guess someone from The Normal Heart will walk away with this. Hopefully it will go to Matt Bomer because he was phenomenal and made me cry like a bebe.
Molly’s Pick: Matt Bomer, The Normal Heart
That was a tough call. I hope the votes don’t get split up among the nominees from The Normal Heart.
WINNER: Martin Freeman, Sherlock: His Last Vow
T: WHOOOAAAAAA That is a total upset for The Normal Heart. Also, this makes be believe the TV Academy has turned into the Oscars Academy – aka all old white men.
M: Waittt….. so you mean old white men are in charge of something? This changes the whole game…
T: I know, it’s a different group of folks than usual, you know, like the super diverse government with women and minorities.
M: Well, I for one think it’s time we give those crusty old coots a chance.
Doesn’t anyone realize that Normal Heart was really, really good? I mean usually they just assume things on HBO are really, really good without necessarily even watching them.
T: AMYY Honestly always excited when she appears on my television screen.
M: Matthew McConaughey and Woody Harrelson planned their outfits together harder than me, in fifth grade, before a dressdown day. Because why wear street clothes if you can’t wear matching courduroy overalls with your best friend. Or muted jewel tone suits, as the case may be.
T: I think the sequel to True Detective should be a buddy cop comedy version of the first season with these two fools.
M: Literally every one of our TV ideas has been better than most of what we’re seeing tonight.
Outstanding Lead Actor In A Miniseries Or A Movie
Chiwetel Ejiofor, Dancing On The Edge
Martin Freeman, Fargo
Billy Bob Thornton, Fargo
Idris Elba, Luther
Mark Ruffalo, The Normal Heart
Benedict Cumberbatch, Sherlock: His Last Vow
Traci’s Pick: Mark Ruffalo, The Normal Heart
Probably Mark Ruffalo’s best performance ever.
Molly’s Pick: Mark Ruffalo, The Normal Heart
Although if Idris Elba wins we all get to watch him for a minute or two – so in that case, everyone wins.
Winner: Benedict Cumberbatch, Sherlock: His Last Vow
M: I’ll admit it. I’m probably going to lose any internet cred I ever had. But I’m not in any of the appropriate fandoms to know why Benedict Cumberbatch is so magical. Like I take everyone’s word for it.
T: Yup. agreed. We’re gonna get trolllllssss! Can’t wait.
T: IMPORTANT: I FEEL CHEATED OUT OF SEEING IDRIS ELBA IN A TUX.
Outstanding Lead Actress In A Miniseries Or A Movie
Jessica Lange, American Horror Story: Coven
Sarah Paulson, American Horror Story: Coven
Helena Bonham Carter, Burton And Taylor
Minnie Driver, Return To Zero
Kristen Wiig, The Spoils Of Babylon
Cicely Tyson, The Trip To Bountiful
Traci’s Pick: Helena Bonham Carter, Burton And Taylor
Honestly, I just want Wiig to win this, but did anyone see The Spoils of Babylon? Especially the Emmy voters?
Molly’s Pick: Sarah Paulson, American Horror Story: Coven
Or maybe Jessica Lange? Let’s just take a moment to appreciate how great all of these nominees are. I mean in general. Not in these projects, because I haven’t seen them (except AHS).
WINNER: Jessica Lange, American Horror Story: Coven
M: Weird Al is making up lyrics to instrumental tv theme songs, and isn’t this something everyone does already? No, just me? I’m also learning that it’s one of those things that’s only entertaining when you’re doing it in front of your tv waiting for a show to start. Not as an awards show segment.
T: What in the actual fuck is this medley? Remember how much better this was last year with the choreography category? It also feels super out of place. There has been no singing and dancing a la NPH or Jimmy Fallon, so this is coming out of nowhere and doesn’t fall within the tone of Seth’s comedy…
Outstanding Miniseries
American Horror Story: Coven
Bonnie & Clyde
Fargo
Luther
Treme
The White Queen
Traci’s Pick: Fargo
I’m basing this on the fact this show got a lot of nominations.
Molly’s Pick: Fargo
Yeah, I think critics were really into it. Bonnie & Clyde was OK I guess.
WINNER: Fargo
M: I know I probably should have watched this, but the last time I watched some Minnesota-talking people hang out where it’s cold was Sarah Palin’s Alaska and that was quite enough for me, thanks.
Outstanding Television Movie
Killing Kennedy
Muhammad Ali’s Greatest Fight
The Normal Heart
Sherlock: His Last Vow
The Trip To Bountiful
Traci’s Pick: The Normal Heart
Because if you haven’t seen this movie yet, you are missing out on an important piece of American history.
Molly’s Pick: The Normal Heart
Honestly, if The Normal Heart doesn’t win…
WINNER: The Normal Heart
M: Nice work, Old White Guys. Maybe you fellas are going to make it after all.
Speaking of white guys, Ricky Gervais is here to give us the giggles after we all (read: I) cried a bit for a while there. He reads the speech he would have given, calling out “Joey from Friends” and “Louis from Louie, spelled slightly differently.”
Sarah Silverman wins for writing of a variety special and opens with “wow, this didn’t occur to me!” Me either, Sarah. And I think she’s hilarious, I just didn’t think she’d win. She seems pretty energetic so I think she maybe didn’t hit her vape pen yet, but then she calls us molecules hurtling through the universe or something. But she does it SO MUCH QUICKER than Matthew McConaughey would have.
T: Guys. Sarah Silverman is high right now. Like legit. Like she showed Giuliana Rancic her “liquid pot” vape on the red carpet. Which, I didn’t even know was a thing.
M: Yeah, that’s why all those vaporizer stores keep cropping up. It’s not for the weird flavored tobacco.
M: CUTE! And hilarious, probably. I did not know that.
T: Chris Hardwick s/o to internet trolls.
M: Is it the center part? Is that why I can’t recognize Gwen Stefani? Or is it because she doesn’t have her posse of creatively dressed young Asian girls? (Does she still have them? Not sure.)
T: It might be the lit’rally thousands of Swarovski crystals hanging from her Versace gown…
Outstanding Variety Series
The Colbert Report
The Daily Show With Jon Stewart
Jimmy Kimmel Live
Real Time With Bill Maher
Saturday Night Live
The Tonight Show Starring Jimmy Fallon
Traci’s Pick: The Colbert Report
I don’t think shows besides Colbert and Jon Stewart are allowed to win this category.
Molly’s Pick: The Colbert Report
Yeah, I agree. But I’d love for Fallon to win.
WINNER: The Colbert Report
T: JIMOTHY. DIDN’T EVEN SEE HIM COME UP. I appreciate that Jimbo and Amy Pueblo keep popping up even though they both aren’t winning tonight.
M: I was looking at my computer and then I was like “wait, a Colbert guy sounds just like Jimmy Fallon… wait a second!”
T: I cannot with Sofia Vergara. Everything she does is hilarious. No one is listening to this Academy guy.
M: Okay, THANKS. I know a lot of people who think she’s over-the-top or schtick-y but she has straight-up Lucille Ball vibes a lot of the time. I love her.
T: YES. Def Luicille Ball vibes. If anyone hasn’t seen her “Cover Girl commercial” with Ellen, watch that now. Or you know, at a commercial.
Outstanding Supporting Actor In A Drama Series
Aaron Paul, Breaking Bad
Jim Carter, Downton Abbey
Peter Dinklage, Game Of Thrones
Josh Charles, The Good Wife
Mandy Patinkin, Homeland
Jon Voight, Ray Donovan
Traci’s Pick: Aaron Paul, Breaking Bad
AP ❤ I just want to see him cry and talk about how much he loves the BB cast and his gorge wife. If anyone else has a chance, it’s Josh Charles (for dying) and Mandy Patinkin (probs for the beard).
Molly’s Pick: Aaron Paul, Breaking Bad
I don’t watch GoT (yet) but I think Peter Dinklage seems like a real gem, so I wouldn’t mind if he won.
WINNER: Aaron Paul, Breaking Bad
M: Do Aaron Paul and Chris Pratt have a secret pact to spread happiness, joy, and belief in true love across the nation? Because it’s working.
T: If they do, it’s the best secret society to ever exist. I’m gonna throw up because I’m excited for you too, Aaron. And to reiterate for the 10 millionth time, the love AP has for his wife is utterly disgusting and amazing and I’m just super jealous.
M: I can’t be sure there’s anyone even left in Hollywood after watching that In Memorium. Man, we lost some good ones this year.
T: Oh boy here we go. Honestly shed more tears during Ryan Murphy’s The Normal Heart speech. Does this make me a horrible person? The Robin Williams, tribute however…
M: Right before it started I was about to write “fortunately, I must have missed the Robin Williams part of the In Memorium so I’m still doing okay.” Damn it.
T: Guys Cary …F… True Detective director. Ok quick story: after I finished watching True Detective, I looked this guy up and was SO SURPRISED to see how HOT he is (and that he briefly dated Michelle Williams of Dawson’s Creek). But he’s currently sporting some sort of long braid which is… not hot. Speaking of Michelle Williams, the “fun fact” for Cary was that he was a PA on the set of the Destiny’s Child Survivor video. I really can’t tell if these are supposed to be jokey or not.
M: Fun fact: that’s how I do my goddaughter’s hair if it’s a day she’s going to be out playing a lot.
T: I’m sure Cary will be doing a lot of playing/partying tonight.
M: Well then I hope he used the fun glitter hairspray, too. Really keeps things in place on the playground in STYLE. (Hair aside: he’s a looker).
Outstanding Supporting Actress In A Drama Series
Anna Gunn, Breaking Bad
Maggie Smith, Downton Abbey
Joanne Froggatt, Downton Abbey
Lena Headey, Game Of Thrones
Christine Baranski, The Good Wife
Christina Hendricks, Mad Men
Traci’s Pick: Anna Gunn, Breaking Bad
Like OITNB’s winning streak as a new Emmy show, BB’s final season will (hopefully) pick up statues for all involved.
Molly’s Pick: Anna Gunn, Breaking Bad
Process of elimination pick
Winner: Anna Gunn, Breaking Bad
T: Uh… did Katherine Heigl win an Emmy for Greys?
M: Not sure. Maybe for Roswell? Also I could have sworn she was introduced by the voice of Amy Poehler but I may be losing it like that one Full House episode when D.J. sees Steve everywhere when they go to Disney.
T: Just confirmed – she won Supporting Actress in a Drama Series in 2007. Ugh. I mean she was good, but really? Okay.
Outstanding Writing For A Drama Series
Vince Gilligan, Breaking Bad
Moira Walley-Beckett, Breaking Bad
David Benioff and D.B. Weiss, Game Of Thrones
Beau Willimon, House Of Cards
Nic Pizzolatto, True Detective
Traci’s Pick: Moira Walley-Beckett, Breaking Bad
Moira Walley-Beckett wrote Ozymandias, the third to last episode with the showdown in the desert, and probably one of the best hours of television I have ever seen in my life. The ep Vince Gilligan is up for is the series finale, which is also good, but I watched Ozymandias like 3 times, which is saying something, because normal people don’t do this.
Molly’s Pick: Beau Willimon, House Of Cards
I DON’T KNOW OKAY. I hovered my cursor between this, Moira Walley-Beckett & Game Of Thrones for like a full minute.
WINNER: Moira Walley-Beckett
M: Like, IS that Amy Poehler’s voice, or…? Moira Walley-Beckett does not pull off the phrase “mad skills, yo” very well. She does pull off that dress and writing compelling television, so hey, everyone can’t do everything.
T: How are we running so late already? Let the woman speak! I blame Weird Al.
M: I WAS JUST ABOUT TO BLAME WEIRD AL.
Outstanding Lead Actress In A Drama Series
Michelle Dockery, Downton Abbey
Julianna Margulies, The Good Wife
Claire Danes, Homeland
Robin Wright, House Of Cards
Lizzy Caplan, Masters of Sex
Kerry Washington, Scandal
Traci’s Pick: Robin Wright, House Of Cards
I’m over Claire Danes winning. I really, really want Kerry to win, but compared to the other ladies’ shows, Scandal seems like a soap opera. But whatever, Kerry deserves it. So in saying that, it’s going to Robin Wright.
Molly’s Pick: Kerry Washington, Scandal
Who do I think will win? Probably not Kerry Washington. Just so we’re clear, my picks are a hodgepodge of people I want to win and people I predict are most likely to win.
WINNER: Julianna Margulies, The Good Wife
T: Bless you Kerry Washington for having the best ‘I didn’t win but I’m so happy for Nurse Hathaway’ face.
M: Everyone’s into this contouring makeup now with the bronzer to show us where your cheeks are or whatever, but in 20 years we’re all going to look back on the 2010s as the time when everyone’s face looked kind of dirty. This goes out to, honestly, most of those lovely, talented actresses in that category.
Mindy knows what I’m talking about.
T: Update: apparently after Aaron Paul gave a shout out to his wife’s nonprofit, the website legitimately crashed. Perfect human. (KindCampaign.com)
M: I know! I went to it to try to link to it when I was posting and kept getting an error message. Great job, buddy! Ugh they really are the perfect couple.
T: Kevin Spacey brought a cane with him tonight. Just FYI.
M: His bow tie looks like Samantha Parkington’s hairbow. I wonder if the cane is more of a fashion thing or a function thing.
Outstanding Lead Actor In A Drama Series
Bryan Cranston, Breaking Bad
Kevin Spacey, House Of Cards
Jon Hamm, Mad Men
Jeff Daniels, The Newsroom
Woody Harrelson, True Detective
Matthew McConaughey, True Detective
Traci’s Pick: Bryan Cranston, Breaking Bad
I keep changing my choice for this, so I would be fine if either Bryan or the McConaissance win. If Emmy voters are feeling sentimental this year, it’ll go to Bryan Cranston. If they want to see headlines of Matthew saying ‘Alright Alright Alright’ and saying it’s his year for winning an Oscar AND Emmy within months, it’ll go to him. Or Jeff Daniels could win and ruin everything. This is probably the category to watch for the entire night.
Molly’s Pick: Bryan Cranston, Breaking Bad
I have McConaughey fatigue.
WINNER: Bryan Cranston, Breaking Bad
T: Legit clapping very loudly for BryCran right now (I am by myself. At work.).
I think it’s funny that Jay Leno is supposed to be like this big ‘surprise’ guest. No one cares. Bye Felicia.
Outstanding Comedy Series
The Big Bang Theory
Louie
Modern Family
Orange Is The New Black
Silicon Valley
Veep
Traci’s Pick: Orange Is The New Black
Again, I need a show to break Modern Family’s winning streak.
Molly’s Pick: Orange Is The New Black
I really hope OITNB or Veep wins. Or Louie. I’m so bored of Modern Family winning. And you all know how I feel about The Big Bang Theory.
WINNER: Modern Family
posting this pic, because, kerry.
T: UGH MODERN FAMILY GTFO (I will say that Las Vegas episode was one of the best ever, though).
M: Guys, you don’t have to act surprised. Let’s not Taylor Swift it, here.This cutoff music, though. It makes me want to use that Miss Manners-y expression, “poor planning on your part doesn’t constitute an emergency on my part.” If I won one of the biggest awards I wouldn’t cut my speech short because they let Weird Al make shit up for 7 minutes.
Outstanding Drama Series
Breaking Bad
Downton Abbey
Game Of Thrones
House Of Cards
Mad Men
True Detective
Traci’s Pick: Breaking Bad
A well deserved one last hurrah for Walter White and co., please.
Molly’s Pick: Breaking Bad
Downton and Mad Men weren’t at Emmy winner caliber this year, TBH.
WINNER: Breaking Bad
T: YO BITCH THE ENTIRE AUDIENCE JUST STOOD UP FOR A TV SHOW. When does that ever happen? I can tell you when it didn’t happen – when Modern Family won.
M: Yes, but when you have laurels like Modern Family, you rest on them.
So, overall: I was happy with some of the wins, but I have to say that a lot of winners – and frankly, nominees – prove that the Emmy voters are not watching the same tv (or in the same way) as the rest of us.
Can’t win ‘em all, I suppose. Thanks everyone for joining us and tune in tomorrow for our Best/Word Dressed picks and the rest of the week for our TV-themed posts!!
G’Day, mates! That’s me addressing you in the same slang they use on Dance Academy. Although now that I think about it, I don’t recall anyone saying that at all throughout the show. Anyways, if you didn’t catch that, this show is from Australia. If you’re in need of a program to watch this summer that isn’t too ‘involved’ like Breaking Bad or The Wire, this is the perfect show for you. As a bonus, each episode is 30 minutes, and there are only 3 seasons (which are all on Netflix Instant), so you don’t even have to worry about catching up before a new season starts!
As I mentioned in a post about my Summer To Do List a few months ago, my friend Ana was pushing me for MONTHS to watch DA, and I finally did. And following my tendency to get obsessed with TV shows, this show followed suit. If you like teen centered programs like Degrassi or loved the great 2000 film Center Stage, you will most likely get just as obsessed with DA as I am, and here’s why.
What It’s About
Dance Academy is mainly narrated by 15-year-old Tara Webster who is a newly accepted first year student at the National Academy of Dance in Sydney. The series follows her and her fellow dancer pals as they deal with teen romance, rivalries and the pressures of being at a highly competitive dance academy. You know, pretty much everyone’s usual upbringing Down Under.
Reasons to Watch
Aussie Aussie Aussie! (Oi! Oi! Oi!)
Most of the show takes place inside the Dance Academy itself, but there’s a lot of scenes that show Sydney and the surrounding areas. I’ve never been to Australia, but it’s always been one of the places on my ‘bucket list’, and watching this show just makes me want to go there more/temporarily fill my Aussie desires. Not to mention, it’s just *cooler* watching a show that’s not American, you know what I mean? I found myself wanting to watch episodes just so I could go back to ‘Sydney’ every night. It’s like when you watch Friday Night Lights and just want to go Dillon, Texas for an hour or two. I mean, I don’t make it a habit of yearning to go to Texas on a daily basis, outside of the context of FNL/Austin.
Coming of Age Storylines
If you’re a product of the 90s like we are, you grew up with shows like Saved by the Bell, Full House, Boy Meets World, everything on SNICK etc. But you know how there’s a difference between Saved by the Bell and Boy Meets World? Saved by the Bell was a Saturday morning show where it was about sleeping over in a mall to get U2 tickets, while Boy Meets world was the TGIF show where Mr. Feeny would teach you a life lesson at the end of every episode. Dance Academy is more of the latter. While I can’t exactly relate to it like I did with SBTB or BMW when I was a tween, I imagine DA has the same effect of kids these days.
The show touches on a lot of different subjects throughout all 65 episodes that normal teens go through. All the kids come from different backgrounds – Tara is a naive girl from the bush (aka what ‘country’ is to us Americans), Sammy’s a Jewish kid whose dad disapproves of his dancing, Abigail, the daughter of a dance teacher, is a perfectionist whose only goal is to make it into the company, Kat comes from a super famous ballet family, and Christian is a troubled kid whose mom died and dad was absent most of his life and is in the Academy basically so he doesn’t get into trouble with the ‘bad crowd’. Together, they tackle themes of friendships, romance, jealousy, revenge, death, divorce, even eating disorders (come on, this IS a show about dancers), and don’t do it in a way that is tacky, insensitive, or too in your face. The fact that DA has won the Australian equivalent of the Emmy for Best Most Outstanding Children’s Program TWICE should say it all.
The Gays
On paper, Dance Academy is a show for teens. It’s only in recent years that we’ve seen more family friendly shows incorporate gay characters, so it’s refreshing to see a show in Australia featuring a fairly prominent storyline that involves a gay (well, at least bi) character in Sammy. Without giving too much away, Sammy is faced with trying to figure out what these feelings he has for boys mean, and if he can be comfortable admitting those feelings to his friends and family. There’s also Ollie, who is not your ‘stereotypical’ gay dancer type, and he addresses his sexuality in such a nonchalant way that I almost didn’t notice he was coming out when he first talked about it. These two provide public figures that teens and younger kids can see on TV and realize that people don’t have to be reduced down to their sexuality, but that they’re just ‘Sammy’ and ‘Ollie’. Deal with it.
The Dancing, duh
I mean the show IS called Dance Academy, so there better be good dancing, right? What I appreciate about this show is that they clearly picked young people who were dancers first and foremost, then actors. I’ll admit, the acting isn’t Oscar worthy or anything, but you have to hand it to every single one of them for their dancing ability. It was hard to narrow three seasons of dancing into a sample platter for y’all, but I tried my best! PS: I would suggest not clicking on YouTube & just watching the embedded videos in case you’ll accidentally see a major spoiler!!
*Note: the video below is from the final scene of the entire series – it doesn’t give anything away, but JIC you don’t like any type of spoiler like me!*
If you guys watch DA or have watched it before, let me know what you think!!!
Cookies + Sangria 
