It’s time for our third annual recap of the Victoria’s Secret Fashion show, and God, they just keep getting younger.
Segment #1: My Eyeballs Hurt
The first segment begins with a series of flashing lights replicating the moment you slip from earth into all that lies beyond. Or, you know, maybe it’s supposed to look like camera flashes.
FRINGE IS IN. Magazines, shop windows, and that one coworker have been warning me about this development for months. It’s just that that’s a whole lot of dry clean only.
It feels like once every 5 or so years, fashion magazines try to tell us that wearing a single dangly earring on purpose is a thing to do. You look at worst like a pirate, and at best like someone who lost an earring. Anyway, Behati Prinsloo can pull it off but that means nothing for the rest of us.
Okay, this lighting GENUINELY hurts my eyes. Like when you check your phone in the middle of the night.
I was very proud to recognize a Kardashian-Jenner! I know the youngest two by sight but can never tell which is Kylie and which is Kendall. I feel like there’s one we’re meant to like more than the other, right? Also: Kris and Caitlyn Jenner, looking proud.
KENDALL.
I think I just don’t like fringe.
I’m not sure I knew that’s what Ellie Goulding looked like.
Someone is wearing Totally Hair Barbie pattern (my personal favorite Barbie, c. 1991).
Behind The Scenes #1: We’re A Rainbow Made Of Children
Anyone remember that song? Catholic school thing?
In any case, the VS brass tell us that the show is “very global” because there are models from everywhere!
It’s like Donald Trump’s nightmare except we know that it’s not.
Segment #2: Angelica! Eliza! And Peggy.
The Weeknd has a coat on and the models are in underwear. For the the first of many times, I worry about everyone’s temperature regulation. The curse of being an always-freezing person is that I’m always worried that everyone else is freezing, too. I’ve even started carrying extra gloves and socks to give to homeless people, and I can assure you that they are not that interested and would prefer some money, thanks.
The theme of this segment is like a Sexy Schuyler Sister.
That is: Maria Reynolds.
Apologies to Anne Shirley: these gals are sporting the puffiest of puffed sleeves, too.
Behind The Scenes #2: So It Turns Out Models Like Photographs
Now they’re all talking about their favorite hobby, taking selfies. Which is like a chill version of their job.
“Instagram is very important to me” – shit beautiful people say.
I can’t help but notice all the gorgeous eyebrows. Eyebrows, eyebrows everywhere! All us translucent-colored, faint-eyebrowed folks are just waiting for the pendulum to swing back to small brows – not because you all don’t look great, but because giant eyebrows are physically impossible for us.
Segment #3: Fly Abandonedly Into The Sun
I can’t say anything bad about all of these beautiful butterfly wings. And frankly, I don’t even want to know anybody who COULD say anything bad about them. It’s a dark, cold world and dammit, we need more bedazzled butterfly wings.
When I was in Kindergarten, you secured a part in the graduation play by having your parents sign a slip saying what role you wanted. It was first come/first serve. All the girls wanted to be the butterfly. I said I wanted to be the worm because I knew the butterfly would be taken (and I couldn’t bear being in the chorus). It’s been 24 years and my mother still laments that I graduated kindergarten in a brown jumpsuit. Point is: butterfly wings are great but they aren’t EVERYTHING and sometimes you gotta be the worm.
I mentally referred to some over-the-knee boots as “hip waders” which is probably the most upstate thing I’ve ever done.
Behind The Scenes #3: In Which Shit Gets Real
The models explain that they work out seven days a week, sometimes twice a day. Realism! I like that. Also, no thanks, homegirl needs her rest days.
Also I’m going to need specifics about what they’re doing, because I assume there’s something I’m supposed to do to my arms that I’m not.
Me, when the ladies explain their kick boxing regimens:
Segment #4: The Weeknd Is My Brother
“The Weeknd’s like a brother to me, dating my little sister” – a model whose family works differently from mine.
What is this theme? There’s a fire fighter, a weird American flag, a cop and an astronaut. Jobs you wanted when you were 7? The Halloween costumes that are left when you go shopping on 10/30?
And Selena Gomez as Hot Holly Golightly.
Selena Gomez’s backup dancers are awfully unnecessary, since she has all these backup walkers already.
Are these supposed to be like those occupational-themed stripper costumes, and I mean that in a nonjudgmental way?
Behind The Scenes #4: Nobody Gets A Puppy
The models get presents, and my first thought is “good God, will there be a puppy in there?”
A model has the same thought.
There’s no puppy, which is good because I would have stormed out in protest.
The models tell us how they like Christmas, and look at old photos of themselves from when they weren’t models, but just humans in photographs.
Segment #5: Some Elsa Looking Stuff
A nude mesh and sequin Fair Isle bodysuit – what you’re missing if you didn’t see the Victoria’s Secret fashion show, I guess.
Behind The Scenes #5: Sweet Sweet Fantasy Baby
That’s my second Mariah reference of the post, and you’re welcome.
They reveal who will wear the “fantasy bra” – it’s Lily Aldridge, who is of course very pretty and seems nice.
Segment #6: The Lorax
Technically, fireworks, but I’m pretty sure it’s The Lorax.
Do you think any of these models hate people yelling at them urgently all the time?
If you’ve been keeping up with the Kardashians as of late, you know Kimye welcomed their second child over the weekend. And after two days of speculation of what baby boy’s name would be, Kim finally revealed their son’s name:
Naturally, anyone’s first reaction is of confusion.
Then the realization it’s legit:
and acceptance:
So I don’t know if it’s because I’ve been seeing it everywhere since Monday, but I think the name is actually growing on me? I had a similar reaction when they announced North West, but the winning point for me was that they would be calling her Nori, which is adorable. Saint, though? First of all, someone let ‘Ye pick the name. Second, what would his nickname be, if anything? Third, Saint is like, not a name. To be fair, *what even is a name anyways*??
However, to put things in perspective, Pete Wentz (Fall Out Boy rocker, ex-husband to Ashlee Simpson, father of son Bronx Mowgli) and his girlfriend had a son last year and named him Saint Lazslo, but the reaction was definitely not as fervent as it has been with Saint West. Kim and Kanye are an easy target, so unless they named their son Robert (after Kim’s late dad) as rumored, they would’ve gotten shit for anything they named him. But who even remembers the fact Pete Wentz named his son Saint a year ago? No one.
To also give Kim and Kanye more props, let’s be honest here – it could be worse. His name could’ve been Audio Science or Pilot Inspektor. Now those are REALLY not names in the slightest. With Saint, it implies a greatness to be achieved, whereas Audio Science, Shannyn Sossamon’s son, could be a major at MIT. There is of course a caveat to having a name like Saint – it gives him a lot to live up to. Just like being a Kennedy or even a Kardashian, there’s a stigma and pre-judgement that comes with a name that you have no control over. So if Saint West needs any advice on how to live up to a name larger than life, he can consult with these other celebrity babies who have just as odd if not more odd names than him.
Royalty {Daughter of Chris Brown}
Chris didn’t actually have anything to do with the naming of his daughter, since he found out she was his well after her birth, but it somehow seems exactly the right name that he would give her anyways. He’s also been treating her as such ever since the truth about his paternity came up, so much so that he’s named his upcoming album Royalty, and in the spirit of philanthropy, he’s also donating proceeds of the record sales to the Children’s Miracle Network hospital. He’s a *changed man* y’all.
Messiah Ya’ Majesty Harris {Son of T.I.}
That is not a typo, that apostrophe belongs there. Perhaps it was because it was T.I.’s first kid that he thought he needed to go big or go home, so he went for our savior, Lord Jesus Christ as the name for his baby.
Mary, did you know that your Baby Boy is Lord of all creation?
Mary, did you know that your Baby Boy would one day rule the nations?
Valor {Son of Emile Hirsch}
Valor {noun}: great courage in the face of danger, especially in battle.
Valor {proper noun}: Hufflepuff.
Happy Hinds {Son of Macy Gray}
Wouldn’t it be great if he could just change his name depending on his mood? Today he’s Happy, tomorrow he’s Outraged, next week he’s Flabbergasted.
King Cairo {Son of Tyga and Blac Chyna}
Is he just supposed to be treated like a king in general, or is it that he rules over the city of Cairo?
Atlas {Son of Ed Norton}
Despite what you may thinking, Ed Norton’s son wasn’t named after the huge ass book of maps, but rather the Greek god who was condemned by Zeus to hold up the sky forevs. TBH, this seems like the most difficult of all the names to live up to, since your name LIT’RALLY means to hold the world on your shoulders. I can’t even wear heavy coats.
Titan Jewell Witherspoon {Son of Kelly Rowland}
Although Kelly’s said the name itself has to do with family, it still bears heavy on the kid, since Titans were Greek gods of incredible strength. Sure you want your kid to be strong, but what if he’s a crier and a chess player? Not that there’s anything wrong with that.
Moxie Crimefighter {Daughter of Penn Jillette}
For a little backstory, Penn and his wife EZ (those are her initials) wanted to use a “purely American” name like Moxie to represent spunk and energy. As for the CrimeFighter part, Penn’s wife thinks middle names are stupid and they chose “CrimeFighter” as a joke. A JOKE. Who’s going to be laughing when there’s a murder to be solved and the only person who can seek retribution is Moxie CrimeFighter?
Jonathan Taylor Thomas – J.T.T., if you were born between about 1980 and 1990 – perfectly illustrates the life cycle of a tween hearthrob. He was Randy Taylor on Home Improvement, Young Simba in The Lion King, and a Certified Hottie in the pages of Tiger Beat. When I was in fourth grade (the 1995-1996 school year), all of the girls in my class were obsessed with him. A few short years later – 1998, when I’ll Be Home for Christmas was released – we had all but forgotten about JTT. A lot had happened since 1996 (Hanson. Leonardo DiCaprio. Puberty). That’s how I, a one-time J.T.T. fangirl, got to 2015 without seeing his foray into Christmas entertainment. Here goes:
This is the most high-school looking college I’ve ever seen. J.T.T. is in a hallway covered in lockers; his dweeby friend is STUFFED INTO ONE.
1998 thing: J.T.T. uses the phrase “on the net.”
1998 thing: a flock of girls are wearing Biore pore strips and J.T.T. asks if they work (1998 thing: they don’t).
1998 thing: J.T.T. (Jake), wearing one of those button up bowling shirt things, flirts with a Mary Camden-era Jessica Biel (Ally), who has a Smashmouth poster.
Ribbed shirts sure were all the rage, weren’t they?
I think Mary Camden is wearing a skort.
So Jake wants Ally to spend Christmas with him instead of her family. Is this a thing 18-year-olds do? My 18-year-old cousin went to Florida with her girlfriend’s family last Christmas and we all thought it was a little extra for someone who didn’t exist until 1996.
J.T.T. and his bros are in a cafeteria. This is the weirdest, most high-schoolish college.
J.T.T’s little sister is roughly the age we were when this came out, and she is the late-90s awkward stage personified.
File under: lime green mock turtleneck, stripey zipped thing, half of your hair pulled tightly back. Yep, all checks out.
“Is the convenience of technology worth the loss of our privacy?” – a very prescient J.T.T.
J.T.T.’s father offers to GIVE HIM A PORSCHE if he comes home for dinner at 6:00 pm on Christmas Eve. If I am home for dinner at 6:00 p.m. on Christmas Eve, I get dinner.
So how’d I end up watching this? I’m watching a nephew and niece while their brother is in the hospital (note: this will be relevant later). Anyway, the 8-year-old boy requested a Christmas movie that neither of us had seen. He pronounced J.T.T.’s dad’s offer “a little extreme.”
1998 thing: A group of boys cheat on a final with the aid of beepers and antique dial-up internet.
Mary Camden is wearing her second chunky-knit awkwardly short ribbed sweater.
The bros drop J.T.T. in the desert wearing a Santa Suit and I have questions. They leave a note: “Let’s see you sweet talk your way out of this one.” So. They knocked him unconscious, changed his clothes, and drove him to a secluded location to die? God, this is dark.
Mary Camden: “if you make me listen to any sexist, racist, or homophobic jokes I’m gonna have to slug you.” Add that one to my to-cross stitch pile. (She’s driving cross-country with J.T.T.’s enemy bro.)
1998 thing: Eddie, the enemy bro, is in a sensitive mood, wants to listen to “Jewel, Sarah, Fiona.”
Tracey, Jake’s sister, is wearing giant terrible overalls.
Can’t find a pic of the overalls, but here’s a vest. A vest and I guess a spoiler.
J.T.T. and a car full of blue-haired Tom Jones fanatics listen to What’s New Pussycat.
It starts snowing on J.T.T. in the desert, I scoff, 8-year-old reminds me that deserts have dry climates but can be extremely cold at night. Which is true.
Jessica Biel slug’s Douchebag Eddie “as per our agreement.” I miss this teen movie archetype.
A van driver swerves about the road while he’s trying to retrieved a dropped sandwich and Charley and I both laugh out loud. FUN FOR THE WHOLE FAMILY. GIGGLES FOR ALL AGES. No but really, this movie is not bad on the separate rating scale I use for Christmas movies.
Douchebag Eddie calls himself a “millennial type of guy” who likes yoga and macrobiotic food. I could have sworn we were still going by Gen Y in 1998.
J.T.T. and the sandwich guy lie to a cop and say they’re giving presents to children in the hospital. They hand out kitchen appliances.
THEN a little boy says that all he wants is to go home and be with his family. My nephew looks a bit glum thinking about his brother, and I learn a lesson about trying to entertain a worried child with Jonathan Taylor Thomas movies. See, that’s why the Babysitters Club used to bring Kid Kits with them. ANYWAY. The hospital boy is never seen again, so there was no point in the movie turning serious for like 20 seconds.
Sandwich Guy sings to his estranged wife Marjorie at her workplace. Her workplace is a restaurant where you, I guess, choose which cow you want to eat.
Douchebag Eddie wonders why more breakfast places don’t serve food right in the skillet. Same. But also, tort liability probs.
I’ve somehow stopped noticing that JTT has been wearing a Santa suit this whole time.
Douchebag Eddie and Mary Camden stay at a honeymoon suite decorated by my grandma during one of her mid-90s craft sprees.
JTT steals a man’s gross meat sandwich, which sounds like a euphemism but isn’t, and says it’s a liver transplant so that his bus goes where he needs it to.
This is an OK Christmas movie, but you know what would be the BEST Christmas movie that I’d watch every year? If they cut together all of the Christmas or wintery or snowy parts from all the Harry Potters. I’d pay probably not evening admission for that, but definitely matinee.
Allie and Jake meet up and have a boring fight. You could skip it.
J.T.T. enters a Santa 5K to get money to fly home. He wins after a cluster of Santas gets taken out by a friendly dog. The whole thing would make a fantastic Where’s Waldo page.
Jake donates his winnings to homeless people.
Tracey has a plane ticket’s worth of money in her “ballerina bag.” The best thing I had in my Irish Dance bag was maybe like a newish Werther’s Original.
Jake stows away in a dog crate because he doesn’t have an I.D.
Charley: “How did Allie and Jake get there at the same time, if he flew and she took the bus?”
Me: Wait. How DID they?
Honestly the geography of this trip is very confusing to me.
Jake steals a sleigh to get home in time. My nephew notes that Jake “steals a lot” and he isn’t wrong.
Jake makes it home at 5:59, but refuses to go into the house until after 6 because he is silly.
The Porsche is parked in the snowy front yard by a set designer who doesn’t know how snow works.
Jake, a silly goose, refuses the car but accepts his father’s love. AWWW.
Jake and his stepmom exchange sweater sizes. She is an 8.
1998 thing: a size 8 woman in a movie.
Bottom line: this Lifetime-quality Christmas movie that was perfectly serviceable. On my separate rating scale for Christmas movies, it was “cute.” In Christmas movies, cute isn’t a bad thing.
Last night, millions of Americans tuned for another edition of NBC’s ______ Live! Last year, we flew with Allison Williams over London in Peter Pan Live! and the year before that, we named our favorite things with Carrie Underwood in The Sound of Music Live! This year, third time proved to be the charm with The Wiz Live! As expected, the telecast dominated social media with viewers’ quips, but perhaps what wasn’t expected was the sheer positivity across the board. We livetweeted it, but we still have a number of questions, comments and concerns about the show, so here’s our post-mortem on the life-changing musical that was The Wiz Live!
Concern: The Wiz is my pop culture blind spot
Oops. Somehow I’ve never seen The Wiz. Not the MJ/Diana movie or anything from the OG musical. I’ve somehow managed to be in the Wizard of Oz musical, see the horrendous recent Wizard of Oz tour, and Wicked four times, but never The Wiz. This might be my downfall. – T
I’ve seen The Wiz, but the first thing I always remember about it is how someone we went to high school with was in an all-white production, which sounds like a joke but isn’t. – M
Question: Is this a modern day musical?
Dorothy’s dressed like she could be from 2015, but also it’s nondescript enough that it could be a generic timeline. Either way, I’m kind of really into it, and her skirt? – T
Into it, too. Those skirts were popular when we were in high school (c. 2000 – 2004), but had moments in the 70s, 80s and 90s as well. I like the nod to the original light blue and red Dorothy color scheme. But then Auntie Em is dressed like Aunt Bea from Andy Griffith. “Generic timeline” checks out. – M
Question: Is The Wiz a precursor to The Color Purple?
Pretty sure the cart Stephanie Mills leans against is the same one from The Color Purple. – T
Comment: Beyonce took part in this
The cyclone scene almost looks like it was lifted from a Beyonce tour production, or more specifically, the music video for Ghost. By the by, the choreography was done by Fatima Robinson, who has worked with some of the best musicians in the biz, including Michael Jackson, Pharrell, Aaliyah, and the Backstreet Boys, which is the only reason she’s been a part of my life for so long. She did the choreo for iconic songs like Everybody and As Long As You Love Me, and when I hear her name it’s like *Home*. – T
The cyclone reminded me of those trippy live-action children’s shows from the 1970s, like H.R. Pufnstuf and The Wombles. – M
Question: This costume
If I dress up like one of these munchkins for Halloween next year, will I have missed the boat on the zeitgeist of it all? – T
And if I wore the glittery silver Mary Janes, the Scarecrow’s fun bird blouse, and Dorothy’s skirt in my daily life, would you still be friends with me? – M
Question: Omaha?
Was Dorothy always originally from Omaha, Nebraska?? – T
I THOUGHT IT WAS KANSAS. Was “we’re not in Kansas anymore” just a reference to how Nebraska and Kansas are mostly samesies? – M
Concern: I *almost* forgot just how amazing Amber Riley is
OKAYYYY YOU BETTER SING AMBER RILEY!!! #FlashbackFriday – the time my friend and I were on our way to the Glee concert and were belting out Amber’s part in one of the Glee songs in the car, and Amber rolled up next to us and I looked over, felt flushed with embarrassment and she gave a wave before driving off. Moral of the story, leave the belting to Amber. – T
RYAN MURPHY DOESN’T KNOW A TREASURE WHEN HE HOLDS IT IN HIS HANDS. – M
Comment: Life lesson number one:
“There is some nasty stuff betwixt here and there.” – T
Comment: Looks like Lord Licorice’s house
Pretty sure this set could double for a Candy Land musical. – T
Thing I’d be into: a Candy Land musical. – M
Comment: Life lesson number two + joke
“Sometimes the most dangerous things are also the most beautiful.” “That’s deep, cuz.” – T
Concern: I might be a Shanice fangirl now
Shanice sings Soon as I Get Home, and I’m actually screaming. YASS SHANICE. A STAR IS LITERALLY BORN. WERK. IT. – T
If Shanice Williams isn’t all over the Broadway stage or a movie screen or WHEREVER IT IS SHE WOULD LIKE TO BE MOST, there’s no good in the world. – M
Concern: I already forgot who’s playing the Scarecrow
That’s how good this costume is. Oh JK it’s Elijah Kelly. I’ve watched Hairspray enough to recognize that voice. – T
I hope Elijah Kelly has been living his best life, and I know he’s worked consistently, but I’m still surprised he didn’t get huge after Hairspray. – M
Comment: Apparently you CAN win
During You Can’t Win, the crows are giving me so many jokes (“I’ll catch you on the B-Side”). Also giving me life with this song. Did anyone else notice the stanky leg from the Scarecrow? – T
Comment: I have a bad memory
Ok I thought I didn’t know any songs from The Wiz, but I forgot about Ease on Down the Road. But is the original arrangement as funky as this version? I love it. – T
I feel like you would also know Home, if only from televised singing competitions. – M
Concern: I’m crying again
And this time it’s for this Barbie commercial. – T
Me too, we’re messes. – M
Question: What’s up with this magic oil?
Yo does this magic oil make everyone sing like Ne-Yo tho because I have some choice handsome men I could think of that could become 10 times hotter if they could sing some R&B. – T
Is this supposed to be very sexual or is there a problem with me? – M
Question: Why do we still not have a live audience for this?
Both The Sound of Music and Peter Pan before this were shot without a live audience, and it was awkward when it came to needing laughs for jokes and clapping after big numbers. If this was shot in front of a live audience, there definitely would’ve been a lot of cheers and applause for Ne-Yo’s robot dance break. – T
Yeah, when you have to time the beats to laughter or applause that ISN’T THERE, it doesn’t work. The whole reason they had fake laugh tracks in old shows is because audiences respond better when they hear other people responding. Give these stars an audience next time! – M
Question: Does the scarecrow’s hair look like The Weeknd or nah?
Comment: That’s a trusting lion
For someone who’s cowardly, the Lion had an oddly easy time to ease on down the road with strangers. Also, David freaking Alan Grier. What a talent. Also the psychiatrist owl really made me chortle. – T
Comment: Nature’s not for me.
These shenans are exactly why I don’t go into enchanted forests with three strangers. – T
Everyone trusts everyone so much. – M
Concern: I’m crying again
Okay that was the most inspirational shit I've ever seen on TV and I watch Miss USA #TheWizLive
I’m just gonna say it – a lot of these commercials are geared towards black viewers. From McDonalds to USPS, there’s a number of them which prominently feature black actors. It’s like when you’re watching BET and the commercials are not quite the same as the ones you would see on say, Fox News. And it’s great on one hand, as in a whole other demographic is being catered to, but like, also, just show the same commercials during an episode of Castle or The Big Bang Theory. That being said, The Wiz being playing on primetime network TV is so incredibly important, because like I’ve said many times before, representation is important. And this cast and crew is doing an outstanding job at it. – T
“the ones you would see on say, Fox News” – Traci, I love you forever. – M
Concern: I FORGOT COMMON WAS IN THIS
OK BUT COMMON. I WOULD GLADLY BE DENIED ENTRY TO A CLUB IF I HAD FACE TIME WITH HIM. – T
Question: But I do I get into this club frreal tho?
The ensemble is everything! They sell it so hard. – M
Comment: Life lesson number three
“The door is just a door.”
Question: Is this secretly a Spice Girls crossover?
We meet Queen Latifah as The Wiz, sporting a Brigitte Nielsen haircut. She also says the phrase, “Tell me what you want. What you really really want.” Is that a Spice Girls ref or coincidence?? – T
Since we’re sharing embarrassing celebrity encounters: at DeGaulle airport c. 2006, I thought my friend said “Queen Latifah just passed away!” I squealed “No, I LOVE Queen Latifah!” But, she said “Queen Latifah just passed by.” Queen Latifah heard, and smiled like the Queen that she is, and was really nice and chit-chatted with a bunch of American college kids, she’s royalty, the end. — M
Comment: Through the wire
I just realized Ne-Yo sounds like Kanye circa Through the Wire, because the tin is around his face. Still sounds 10 million percent better than I ever will. Also, I’ve never been so attracted to a chunk of metal before. – T
Question: Is a standing ovation a real standing ovation if you do it by yourself?
I legit just stood up and gave the cast a standing ovation after singing We Got It. I’m watching this alone in my living room. I tried looking up this song and I didn’t realize Ne-Yo co-wrote this specifically for the telecast. Amazing. – T
Am I wrong that they included an original song for award nomination purposes? – M
Comment: Praise in the highest to Queen Mary J
Bitch comes on screen and I’m already all SLAY YASSS QUEEN. By the by, I feel like the words screamed out the most by viewers are “YASS” “SLAY” and “QUEEN” over and over again. – T
I literally yelled "Yaass SLAY civilian" during the Emerald City dance sequence in #TheWizLive
— Jesse Tyler Ferguson (he/him/his) (@jessetyler) December 4, 2015
When Mary J. was on screen I found myself sitting with my chin propped in my hands and the glistening eyes of a child present at the Sermon on the Mount. – M
Comment: No Bad News = No More Drama
WHEN MARY J BLIGE IS SCREAMING AT YOU TO WORK, YOU WERK. – T
Question: Did we switch to another musical’s set again?
I feel like the Brand New Day scene turned into Fela! all of a sudden. Either way, props to DAG for werking this choreo (including some Carlton and Soul Train action) in the ridic lion getup, and props to him for catching Elijah Kelly in his arms at the end. – T
Concern: Have I become an elderly person at age 29?
Queen in a robe is lit’rally me rollin up to the club. And the club is my bed. – T
Comment: The bench is deep
Legit every member of this cast, including the ensemble is fantastic! – T
Question: Can u not?
UZO ADUBA IS A LITERAL ANGEL FROM HEAVEN. – T
She is SO GOOD as Crazy Eyes that I feel like people don’t even realize how beautiful and amazing she is IRL. – M
Question: Is this a Michael Jackson tribute?
Actually is Dorothy’s jacket an homage to MJ??? – T
Speaking of which, it takes guts to take on a role most associated with MJ. Let’s hear it for Elijah Kelly! – M
Concern: I am crying again
I JUST STOOD IN FRONT OF MY TV CRYING. SHANICE GIVING ME GOOSIES. GIVING ME LIFE. I get really emotional when I see people achieving their best, ya know. Shanice was picked out of obscurity (New Jersey) and because of her true talent – and NBC taking a risk on a non-celebrity – she’s truly become the breakout artist of the year. (Also watch this video of Shanice post-show. All the tears.)- T
I love this and I keep spontaneously crying like I'm so proud of these people as if I know any of them. 😍😭#TheWizLive
Overall, I loved this Live! version of The Wiz. The talent, the production value, the costumes (by Hamilton costume designer Paul Tazewell), a teleplay by Harvey Fierstein (I KNOW), the choreo (no but did you see that dabbing tho) – everything. But most importantly, I think something changed last night. Changed the landscape of what we expect and see on television and media in general. Like in the 1970s when this musical made its debut, the themes still have a prominent relevance in today’s society. When kids who are watching this with their families at home can see themselves on the screen, it’s progress. And that is the power of art. -T
When I binge watched Friday Night Lights for the first time, I couldn’t stop playing episode after episode in rapid succession. But when it came to the final few episodes of the series, I couldn’t bear to come to the reality that the show was actually ending. It took me weeks to gather the courage to watch the series finale, and when I did, it left me wanting more. But as the years go on, the less I want a FNL reunion movie. The show ended perfectly, so there’s no need to add to the story. But IRL reunions (like the one at ATX TV Festival) or cast get togethers (like the one at Scott Porter’s house) are perfectly acceptable – which is why a Friday Night Lights musical is the best thing to happen since Tim Riggins.
The fine folks at Sucker Love Productions have brought to life Cruel Intentions and most recently, The OC in musical form, and in 2016, they’re bringing the world of Dillon, Texas to Los Angeles. And if you thought it didn’t get any better, well it does, because Scott Porter, aka Six aka Jason Street is in it and he’s playing Coach Taylor. That’s right, man among men Dad of the Year Coach to all will be played by Jason Street.
PS: Scott has a history with singing and musical theatre – he starred in the Off-Broadway hit Altar Boyz, and you can be impressed with his killer pipes here, here and here.
Like I did with The OC musical, I’m just gonna go ahead and guess what songs will be featured in the FNL musical based on storylines and general music knowledge. We’ll see if any of these tunes show up – because you best believe I’m trying my damnest to get a ticket to this.
Besides the actual instrumental theme song for FNL, Devil Town is the unofficial theme song for the show. It was used in the beginning and end of season one, as well as various promo clips throughout the run. The song itself is tonally a perfect representation of the series with its simple instrumentations and the overall vibe feels small town-esque, while the lyrics suggest Dillon is more than a town focused on football.
Run The World (Girls) by Beyonce
{Tami Taylor}
We know that out on the field, Coach Taylor is in charge. But let’s face it y’all, behind every strong Coach Taylor is a formidable Tami Taylor, and she’s the one who’s really in charge. She’s smart, caring, giving, fair, and doesn’t make excuses for who she is, her values, or what she wants in life. Mrs. Coach became Principal Taylor and at the end of the series, she moved up in the ranks to fulfill her own career dreams. And who followed right behind her? Eric Taylor.
Magnets by Disclosure featuring Lorde
{Tim Riggins and Lyla Garrity}
Despite the fact Lyla promises her boyfriend Jason Street she’ll stick by him during his tragic paralyzing accident in the pilot, she ultimately commits the ultimate betrayal mid-season 1 and sleeps with his BFF, bad boy and teen heartthrob Tim Riggins. Poor choices all around, but it’s the beginning of one of the series’ most iconic relationships, and TBH, I ship it. More so than Tim and Tyra. And maybe even more so than Tim and me. HAH JK.
Never really felt bad about it/As we drank deep from a lie
‘Cause I felt melting magnets, babe/The second I saw you through half-shut eyes
Uh-oh, dancin’ past the point of no return/Let go, we can free ourselves of all we’ve learned
I love this secret language that we’re speaking/Say it to me, let’s embrace the point of no return
Bitch by Meredith Brooks
{Julie Taylor}
It’s so so easy to hate on Julie Taylor throughout the entire series, and for good reason. I always come to her defense, mainly asserting that she’s supposed to be an annoying teenage girl, but I can only do it for so long.
Maybe I’m Amazed by Paul McCartney
{Tami & Eric Taylor}
There’s a scene in the season 1 finale, State, in which Tami tells Eric she’s pregnant, and it is just the epitome of true love. He obviously needs her to repeat the phrase ‘I’m pregnant’, since they certainly weren’t expecting this, and his reaction is picture perfect. Later in the ep, Eric tells Tami he’s reconsidered taking the big job at TMU and wants to stay in Dillon, but Tami is all, ‘you are so dumb’ and is like don’t give up on this big opportunity you idiot. They are #relationshipgoalsAF and if any of us can get this type of love in our lifetime, we would be pretty lucky indeed.
Secret by The Pierces
{Landry & Tyra}
Yeah, you know that storyline all FNL fans refuse to accept happened? That’s this song.
Marry You by Bruno Mars
{Mindy & Billy Riggins}
One of the most endearing relationships to come out of Dillon is that of the unlikely pairing of Tim’s older, equally poor choice making brother, and Tyra’s stripper sister Mindy. Their wedding was iconic for the outfits alone, but can’t you just picture them dancing down the aisle to this song? Also, the actress who plays Mindy, Stacey Oristano, is a fab singer IRL, so she should probably be in the FNL musical.
All We Ever Do Is Say Goodbye by John Mayer
{Matt}
In maybe the best episode of the series, The Son, Matt finds out his estranged dad Henry dies while in the Army in Iraq. When we first meet Matt, we find out his mom and dad are divorced, his mom left, his dad has spent most of his time overseas in the military, and he has to take care of his Grams, who suffers from dementia. Matt never really got the chance to know his father, since he was leaving constantly, much like his mom, and technically grams. It all comes to a head in one of the most powerful scenes between Matt and Coach, after he finds out Coach might be leaving Dillon.
Gravity by Sara Bareilles
{Vince and his mom Regina}
In addition to the stress of being the the star quarterback of the new East Dillon Lions, Vince has to deal with his mother, a former drug addict who relapses. He manages to get her help and into rehab, but it obviously takes a toll on him. Gravity might not be the super obvious choice for this particular storyline, but it’s all because of one of the most memorable routines from So You Think You Can Dance that deals with addiction.
Whatever This Song Is by Crucifictorious
{Landry & Cruicifictorious}
IDGI, but do whatever your heart tells you, Lance.
House Party by Sam Hunt
{Tim Riggins}
It occurred to me while compiling this list that Sam Hunt is like the Tim Riggins of music. Hot, talented in their craft, hot, popular with the ladies, hot. One sings about being in a cop car while the other voluntarily turns himself into the police. Same thing.
Brick by Ben Folds Five
{Luke & Becky}
Luke and Becky have a one-night stand in season four, and she ends up pregnant. It’s a whole situation involving HBIC and principal Tami Taylor, but Becky eventually decides to have an abortion. Is this song too real?
When You Come Back Down by Nickel Creek
{Matt & Julie}
Every year at the ATX TV Festival, there’s a FNL tailgate party complete with music, a screening of an FNL episode, and random cast members avail to meet and take pix with. Last year, Sara Watkins of Nickel Creek played, and like Devil Town, their music fits perfectly with the Dillon vibe. This song is all about letting someone you love go in order for them to live their life. Matt & Julie had been dating pretty much all throughout high school, but when Matt invites Julie to visit him in Chicago where he’s attending college, she decides against it because she knows if she does go, she wouldn’t want to leave, thus putting her own dreams aside (except she ends up following him to Chicago at the end of the series anyways bc they’re engaged and stuff. Spoiler alert?).
Devil Knows You’re Dead by Delta Spirit
{Cast}
FNL has one of the best series finales in TV history, and I think a lot of that has to do with the final montage, which gives each character an ending, with their stories wrapped up in perfect bows. During that montage, this Delta Spirit song plays and gives you lit’rally all the feels.
Fun holiday fact: if you collected all of the tears that have been shed over A Charlie Brown Christmas for the past 50 years, you could provide clean drinking water to a village in the developing world for a year.
Non-fun holiday fact: A Charlie Brown Christmas is a tear-festival masquerading under the guise of children’s entertainment.
In honor of the classic cartoon’s fiftieth anniversary, and our own inability to KEEP IT TOGETHER FOR ONCE, here are the moments from A Charlie Brown Christmas that are most likely to turn you into a one-person snot factory:
That Freaking Soundtrack
Vince Guaraldi, you cruel, cruel man. First of all, a choir of children’s soprano voices is always a little emotional (yes, Auntie Molls will come to your Christmas concert, and no, she’s not crying because she hates it. She’s crying because she’s a deep well of feelings parading around as a competent adult woman). But also: Christmas jazz? Major sevenths strewn about like wrapping paper on a Christmas morning? TWINKLING PIANO, for heaven’s sake?
The Children’s Speaking Voices, In General
Nothing takes you out of a cartoon like an adult trying to do a child’s voice. The adorable, real voice overs make the Charlie Brown cartoons, especially Linus.
Charlie’s Christmas Crisis
He knows he should be happy, but he’s not. Nobody’s sending him Christmas cards. Everyone’s wrapped up in Christmas commercialism. And he’s, like, 8. Kind of a bummer of a concept. Plus half of the other kids treat him like trash, so you see where he gets that downer mood from.
The Other Kids Treating Charlie Brown Like Trash
“Do something right for a change.” “You’re hopeless, completely hopeless.” “He’s not the kind you can depend on to do anything right.” It’s like Charlie’s friend group is made up entirely of the worst thoughts you have about yourself, come to life.
Lucy Taking Credit For Charlie’s Idea
You know how sometimes you’re at a meeting, and you have an idea, and a minute after you say it someone tries to present it as theirs? (At these times I like to pretend that maybe I’m secretly a ghost and I don’t know it yet.) Anyway, that happens to Charlie with the tree. Lucy would.
That Tree
Because sometimes, don’t you feel like the tiniest, worst Christmas tree?
Linus Telling The Christmas Story
Forget children singing. Children doing Bible readings is the sweetest thing ever. And this coming from someone who’s not exceptionally into the Bible (aside from going to Catholic school for so long that you can literally tell by looking at me). Plus Linus just made his way to center stage and DID IT, meaning he had the whole thing memorized and at the ready while Charlie was thinking that nobody cared about the real meaning of Christmas. Then Linus drags his blanket offstage like it was nothing and says “that’s what Christmas is all about, Charlie Brown” and the mic drops and I die.
When The Kids Fix The Tree
Look. Clearly one of those children is a wizard, because the end-product tree doesn’t even slightly resemble the O.G. Charlie Brown Christmas Tree. I can only imagine that while they’re huddled around the tree waving their arms, what they’re actually doing is replacing it with an entirely different tree and saying “don’t tell Charlie, because I think he’s sort of going through some stuff.” Nevertheless, it shows that there’s hope for even the tiniest, worst Christmas trees of all.
Guys, listen. It’s Monday. It’s the first day back from a four-day weekend. You stuffed your face with food and then stuffed your ears with Christmas music. We shouldn’t have to be at work right now. But alas, here we are. And I appreciate you taking the time out of your day to read this – aka procrastinating your work a bit more. In return, I’m going to stuff your eyes with one of God’s greatest gifts to mankind, Michael B. Jordan.
Over the weekend, I saw Creed, the Rocky spin-off movie. If you know me, this may be a somewhat surprising choice for holiday weekend viewing because I usually don’t put sports movies on the top of my list. However, if you do know me, you know I’m a fan of Michael B. Jordan and HBMs in general. On top of that, I kept hearing nothing but good things about Creed, so I caved and went to see it. And let me tell you – I haven’t been able to stop thinking about it. It’s just that good.
Preface: Rocky is one of my Pop Culture Blind Spots. If I had planned this better, I would’ve watched Rocky in prep for Creed, but turkey got in the way. I of course knew the basics of the Rocky franchise – Sylvester Stallone, Apollo Creed, Philadelphia, Yo Adrian, the steps, boxing. But not the details. I was basically going into the movie *blind*. While there were a few things that my friend (who watched Rocky for the first time the night before) had to explain to me, they were fairly inconsequential, because overall, Creed is a fantastic film that deserves all the awards. The drama, the action, the writing, the acting, the score, the directing (Ryan Coogler FTW), the cinematography – everything – was a literal knockout. It reminded me of a Friday Night Lights vibe, where you find yourself rooting for the Panthers/Lions/Creed because you’re rooting for the person, not the team. Sport is secondary, personal victory is everything. This is the end of Traci’s Creed movie review (so go see it).
Back to MBJ. I’ve previously discussed how his excellent acting skills make me cry inexplicably (yeah, I cried at Creed a couple times, so what), but on this Monday after Thanksgiving, I’m just going to present you with some pure sexy MBJ goodness.
For Creed, MBJ clearly had to get into a boxer’s shape. Playing the son of a legendary fake boxer, he had to live up to the Creed legacy Carl Weathers started 40 years ago. So my boy called up his boy, trainer Corey Calliet, a former boxer himself. Over the course of a year, MBJ worked out twice a day, drank lots of water, ate boiled chicken and broccoli and brown rice (why does that sound good to me) and gained 24 pounds of muscle. !!
For comparison, a totally still hot pic of MBJ in January 2014 on some beach:
yeahhhhh. I’m here for all of it. Have I convinced you to watch Creed yet? Well let me add that there’s a romantic component to the story, involving Adonis ‘Donnie’ Creed and his neighbor, played by the beautiful and talented Tessa Thompson. Y’all, there’s a scene in the movie that involves braids that’s not even sexual and I was getting sweaty. I died. Anyways, MBJ knows how to flirt and be romantic and stuff and here’s a video of him doing that.
Have you recovered from that stupid amazing video yet? Me either. Take some time, look up more pix of MBJ in private browsing, then go see Creed. I promise you it’s worth it. If not, come back here and complain to me. But I’ll barely be listening. I have Rockys 1 through 6 to catch up on.
Happy Thanksgiving, friends! Hope y’all are having a wonderful day surrounded by friends and family and all the food your stomachs can handle! One of my favorite traditions on this day is to go back and watch all the Friends Thanksgiving episodes, because, America. While each of them have their own merits, I decided to rank them in order of import, so if you feel like watching one or two of these today, I’d say go with the the top spot and work your way back. Thanks for reading and enjoy your turkey!!
Good television fans know that certain series have the market on lock when it comes to holiday-themed episodes. For example, The Office had superb Christmas episodes every year. Community goes above and beyond with its Halloween shows. And of course, you could always count on Friends for a solid Thanksgiving episode.
Over the past few years, I’ve started my own tradition (like the Geller Cup, if you will) of watching every Thanksgiving episode from all 10 seasons, just to get me in the mood for the holiday.
So in honor of today, here’s a definitive list (read: based solely on my own personal opinion, my mind will probably change tomorrow) of the episodes from worst to best.
Oh and Happy Thanksgiving!
Number Ten
Season 2: The One with the List
Ross must choose between Rachel and Julie and enlists Joey and Chandler’s help in making a list of the pros and cons of each. He chooses Rachel, but she finds the list and gets angry with Ross. Meanwhile, Monica gets a job making food with a synthetic chocolate substitute called Mockolate.
This was the only episode in the show’s 10 year run that was not an official “Thanksgiving episode”. It served as such when it aired in 1995, but there was not real T-Giving banter until the following season. That being said, I still think this is a great episode, not only because everyone’s still on a high from Ross and Rachel’s first kiss, but because Chandler’s laptop is like a life-changing instrument where you can both type semi-offensive documents about your friends but also play Doom. Could it BE anymore 90s?
Number Nine
Season 7: The One Where Chandler Doesn’t Like Dogs
Phoebe sneaks a puppy into the apartment; Chandler reveals why he hates dogs. Ross becomes obsessed with naming all 50 states in order to earn his Thanksgiving dinner. Phoebe names celery.
Because of Ross, millions of people were left dumbfounded and extremely annoyed that they couldn’t list all 50 states. Unless you’re one of those people who learned the States song when you were younger. In which case you can’t participate in the game or Thanksgiving.
Number Eight
Season 10: The One with the Late Thanksgiving
Monica and Chandler grudgingly agree to host Thanksgiving. They get angry when their friends show up late, when Ross and Joey having gone to a game and Rachel and Phoebe having taken Emma to a baby beauty pageant, because why not. But their mood changes when they get good news from the adoption agency.
The best scenes in this mediocre episode are with the four latecomers who are brainstorming to come up with a way to get on the Bings’ good graces and come to dinner. Not to mention the creepiest door scene in all of Friends history.
Number Seven
Season 9: The One with Rachel’s Other Sister
Amy, Rachel’s spoiled sister played by Christina Applegate, shows up for Thanksgiving. The gang argues over who gets custody of Emma if Ross and Rachel die.
Props to the person who cast both Christina Applegate and Reese Witherspoon as Rachel’s sisters. Christina was even nominated twice for her role and won in 2003 for this very episode! And it was totally well deserved because her spaciness and inability to understand that Phoebe’s name is, in fact, Phoebe and not Emma, makes her the sole reason why this episode needs more credit than it deserves.
Number Six
Season 1: The One Where Underdog Gets Away
The gang gets locked out of the apartment in order to see the Underdog balloon fly away from the Macy’s Day Parade. Monica’s first Thanksgiving dinner gets burned, Rachel misses a ski trip with her family, and Joey becomes a poster boy for VD.
The first season is a magical season for many reasons, but most importantly because if you’re watching it in current day, you can tell there’s still an innocence among the cast members and within the actual show – these people have no idea how big the show’s going to be or how much of an impact it will have on television history in general. The first ever Thanksgiving episode is no different. It set a precedent for future T-giving episodes, and the rest of the series in general.
Number Five
Season 3: The One with the Football
The gang plays a game of touch football on Thanksgiving as Ross and Monica argue over winning in a case of sibling rivalry over the coveted Geller Cup. Meanwhile, Joey and Chandler argue over who gets to date a model from Holland and Rachel is still clueless on the game.
Family, Friends, Food and Football. Pretty much Thanksgiving summed up in alliteration. The Friends writers knew they had to incorporate one of America’s most beloved past times, and this was the perfect way to do it.
Number Four
Season 4: The One with Chandler in a Box
After Joey finds out that Chandler kissed his girlfriend Kathy, he forces Chan to spend Thanksgiving in a huge wooden box so he can think about what he did. What’s even weirder than Chandler in a box? Monica inviting her ex-boyfriend’s son over for Thanksgiving and she hits on him.
The reason for this episode being one of the greatest is threefold: 1) Monica with an eye patch. 2) Chandler/Matthew Perry being in a box the entire episode. 3) One of the greatest and unforgettable lines ever in Friends, as seen in the clip above. Judge all you want.
Number Three
Season 5: The One with All the Thanksgivings
The gang’s past Thanksgivings are revealed flashback style. We get to see when Chandler and Monica first meet, how he changed her life, Joey’s head up a turkey’s butt, and Pheebs in the 1600s.
I appreciate that Friends has done only a few clip shows in its 10 year run, since it can feel like the writers haven’t come up with any new ideas and are just being lazy. But one thing that Friends did, that I think How I Met Your Mother really perfected, is having flashback scenes that are brand new to both the cast and the viewers. This episode takes the cake, as we get to see the Friends in different eras, different stages of their life and how they all came together as one unit. Plus who doesn’t love a good turkey head?
Number Two
Season 8: The One with the Rumor
Monica invites a high school friend, Will, played by Brad Pitt, to her Thanksgiving dinner. He and Ross were pals back in the day and had an I Hate Rachel Green club, which she finds out in the episode. Meanwhile, Joey tries to eat an entire turkey and Chandler and Phoebe attempt to avoid helping Monica with the dinner.
Oh boy. It’s like pouring salt in the wound thinking about this, but remember when Brad and Jennifer were still married and happy in love? But then they played enemies in this episode? Brad hardly makes any TV appearances, but obviously he made an exception with this, and I think he played the perfect roll. This could also be because my obsession with him started around this time, but whatever. Despite Will and Ross’ “hatred” for Rachel, it turns out to be a sweet moment at the end between the show’s iconic couple, leaving you with the warm and fuzzies. Isn’t that what the holidays are all about?
Number One
Season 6: The One Where Ross Got High
Ross and Monica’s parents come to dinner, and Ross is forced to tell Chandler why Jack and Judy don’t like him, since they still don’t know Monica and Chandler are living together. Things get more stressful for Ross as he and Joey are trying to speed up Thanksgiving to hang out with Janine, played by Elle MacPherson, and her dancer friends. Rachel *tries* to make dessert for the first time.
The Friends’ Thanksgiving episodes are usually bottle episodes, which means the action primarily takes place in one setting, with the same characters. In this case, it’s the six Friends in Monica’s apartment, seemingly like an act of a play. In saying that, the 22 minute episode goes by so quickly because the writing, acting, and comedic timing by all is just that good. So many things are happening with all of the characters, and it converges together in one of the most hilarious scenes on TV. From Phoebe’s infatuation with a French aqualegend to Rachel’s feet-tasting trifle, this episode is the perfect mix of disaster, family time and sentimentality that Thanksgiving is all about.
Last night, the Pilgrims aired on American Experience, and we all learned that the Mayflower was a floating piece of garbage that carried miserable people to a land of despair and death. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
Question: Is Ken Burns Involved?
Ken Burns is behind all of the best American Experience episodes. I also had a semi-crush on him back when I assumed he looked like Richard Attenborough, which actually doesn’t help matters and if anything makes it worse, never mind, let’s pretend I never said that.
[It’s Ken Burns’ brother, Ric, who did this one, by the way.]
Comment: Plymouth Rock is the worst.
Anyone been to Plymouth Rock? It’s a literal rock, and it’s not even that big, and there’s honestly no way they could have known that it was THE rock. A crowd of people stand on a platform above the rock and your mom just wants to get a good picture and you just want to go on the replica boat.
Comment: Governor Bradford Was The Eliza Hamilton Of Plymouth
… in terms of being the person who controlled how it was represented in history. And also the Alexander, in terms of writing like he’s running out of time.
Comment: It’s like practically the ONLY thing to do in 17th century England was go to church and the Puritans were like “oh no, this is too fun and interesting, better make CHURCH less FUN.” (No offense, church.)
I mean I’ve never been at church and been like “wow, this music is too good right now. Everyone’s breath is amazing and I am entertained by this decor.”
Concern: They Were A Straight-Up Cult
PBS even said. Ken Burns’ brother Ric said. America wasn’t founded so much on the concept of freedom of religion, so much as by a handful of religious crazies, plus other people who thought there was maybe gold here.
Question: Is a boat being ‘seasoned’ a good thing?
Because it kind of just sounds like a way to say “an old boat.” Granted, the Titanic was brand-spanking-new, but.
Comment: “Two miles an hour;” “Chamber pots everywhere;” “Voyage from hell.”
But on the plus side: two dogs.
Comment: The Pilgrims were heading for the Hudson river, but look, I think we’ve all ended up in Provincetown by accident a time or two.
Concern: PBS says it’s “necessary to ask who the savages were,” but I think we all know.
It’s the people who rode a poop-boat to go camping because church was too fun in England.
Comment: That moment when the pilgrims find a rotting skull on the beach and it has blonde hair on it:
Question: Did Dorothy Bradford kill herself or fall off a boat?
Anyone’s guess, to be honest.
Concern: 50% of the population died by springtime and Bradford was just like, maybe if I don’t write it in my diary nobody will know?
And you know why he did that? Because they propped up the DEAD BODIES AS HUMAN SCARECROWS SO THE INDIANS WOULD THINK THEY WERE GUARDS. I really did need to use all of those caps.
Comment: The Mayflower was sold for scrap.
Question: What really happened at the real first Thanksgiving?
Sounds like not much. They ate dinner.
Concern: These people sure did like decorating with dead bodies.
Propping up pilgrims as human scarecrows, hanging up Indian heads in the town square – just bury them, guys. Just be normal. I’m getting serial killer vibes from all of y’all. The ornament adorning Bradford’s wedding was a head on a pike and linen soaked in blood.
Comment: William Bradford married a 32-year-old woman.
See, all of the relatives I’ll have to see this week?
Comment: Sitting here during this discussion of the high price of beaver like:
“The beaver saved them” – Ken Burns’ brother Ric I guess.
Concern: So, Bradford gets buried in a grave.
Guess the town had all the disembodied heads they could handle.
Comment: Nope, One More Reference To A Head On A Pole Before We Go.
Question: Are we supposed to think Bradford’s journal is legit when a guy just found it in a book store right before the Civil War when there was a “battle” between New England and Southern historians?
Comment: “Somewhere, William Bradford might have smiled.”
But probably not because he’s the kind of man who got married under a rotting head on a stick right?
I don’t know how it happened, but I’ve suddenly become a Justin Bieber fan. I’m a Belieber. Ok, let’s clarify – I’m a Belieber in the sense that I love his new music and play it on repeat (between this and M’s recent One Direction fascination, I think we’re both Benjamin Buttoning). And I’ve found myself playing the music videos from his Purpose album on my TV and jumping around my room as if I’m one of the fierce dancers. You know what pushed me over the edge? The vid for Sorry.
It’s nearly impossible for me to sit still and just listen to this song without breaking out some kind of wannabe dance hall move, and besides the catchy beat, a lot of that has to do with the ladies featured in the video. Instead of Bieber dancing, we get a group of women decked out in 90s gear grooving in a stark white room, and I can’t get enough of it.
After a while, I wanted to know more about who the genius was behind the video, especially since it’s rare to see JB not featured in a Bieber music video. Meet Parris Goebel, your new obsession.
Parris is a 24-year-old New Zealand native who choreographed and directed all the music videos for JB’s Purpose album. More on that later. To get some background info, when she was 15, Parris founded an all-girl dance crew called ReQuest, and that’s the squad she rolls with to this day. Through the years, they’ve been featured and highlighted in various dance competitions and conventions, with numerous awards under their belt. ReQuest was the first non-U.S. team to compete on America’s Best Dance Crew in season six, but were eliminated in week four.
In 2012, Jennifer Lopez found a vid of Parris that she posted on YouTube, and asked her to choreograph for her. The job wasn’t just a one-off gig – Parris choreographed JLo’s Dance Again Worl Tour, as well as the music video for Goin’ In, and most recently, Jen’s epic dance medley at the AMAs on Sunday. She’s also the choreographer for JLo’s upcoming Vegas residency, so they’re practically BFFz now.
In addition to Jennifer, Parris has created routines for K-Pop stars like Taeyang and 2NE1, Janet Jackson and Nicki Minaj’s tours, and worked with Nicki and Queen Bey for their Feeling Myself music video. I mean. Can you even.
Back to Bieber – Parris got a call from JB’s people asking if she would want to make a lyric video for his new single Sorry, but the caveat was that it had to be ready in a week. With limited time, she gathered her girls, quickly choreographed it, threw 90s inspired clothes on and shot it. She thought showing the lyrics would take away from the choreo, so decided not to – and the finished product has now been seen more than 141 million times.
Parris was then recruited to choreograph and directed music videos for all 13 of the tracks on Bieber’s Purpose album. Some of them, she handed over to her also talented choreographer friends like Keone and Mari Madrid, who are featured in Love Yourself. But for vids like Company, it was all her:
But what I’ve found out about Parris is that she’s all about empowering women through dance, which obviously makes me love her even more. She’s created a genre of dance called “Polyswagg”, which she describes as “combining sassy woman fire with aggressive inner strength.”
“I’ve dedicated my whole career, and talent, and life to bringing women especially together, to shine and to create things that inspire other women. It’s a lot easier to make a change if I’m living those standards and living confidently. It’s a lot easier to show people that you can do it. I’m definitely about being confident in myself and strong, like strong in a sense of “Yeah, it is hard work. What we all go through whether it’s in work or life, no one has it easy, but it’s always how we come out of it or always how we react to it that makes us a stronger person.” I have so much to tell through my dance so I like to portray that through my movement and tell my story, and inspire other women to tell their stories as well.” {via Elle}
Behind every Bieber, there’s a strong woman, and that one happens to be Parris in this case. Although I’m a new fan, I wish her the best in her future endeavors and can’t wait to see what she does next. For now, I’m just going to go into a spiral of her dance videos, and I invite you to join me on that journey. Sorry, not sorry.
Cookies + Sangria 