Nothing can make you more nostalgic for a specific time in your life than listening to music. The lyrics that *get you*, every note, and the song as a whole can transport you back to a moment so engrained in your memory that it almost feels as if you suddenly have Hermione’s Time Turner and you’re living the moment all over again. This month’s playlist brings us back to the years between 2000 and 2004 (our prime high school years) when we lived off of our discmans, made mix CDs and had to figure out how to download MP3s on our computers using dial-up.
I honestly could’ve picked any one of JM’s songs from Room for Squares album for this playlist and it still would accurately be the soundtrack to my high school life. I remember listening to this record non stop, particularly this song – and of course, I would pretend he was singing it to me. Remember this is pre-pretentious John Mayer, so it was okay. I lived and died by all his albums, and even played Wheel off Heavier Things for one of my religion classes (we went to a Catholic high school, I guess one of the things we had to do was bring in a “prayer song”? IDK all I recall is that I tried to be all deep with Wheel and some kid brought in the full, like, 7 minute version of The Doors’ Light My Fire). Also: Heavier Things, tho.
Must Get Out by Maroon 5
Like I said, Molly and I went to a Catholic high school, where we had to take religion classes. Senior year included a very borderline class called Peer Ministry. In previous years, we had classes focused on the Old Testament and the New Testament, but our senior year, we had a new teacher who decided that “Peer Ministry” was going to consist of watching movies like Holes and reading Tuesdays with Morrie. Anyways, as part of the class, everyone had to go on a weekend retreat to some camp out in the woods of New York. You signed up for different weekends, and obviously my friends and I decided to sign up the same weekend. One of the activities at the retreat was making some kind of craft to reflect what you’re feeling about your future (I think?) Basically, I wrote the lyrics of Must Get Out on a balloon – ‘This city’s made us crazy and we must get out’ – symbolizing my desire to get out of Rochester and on to a new adventure in Boston. Songs About Jane was one of those CDs, in addition to Room for Squares, that was on a constant rotation in my car’s CD player, and this song just spoke to me, you know?
Dare You to Move by Switchfoot
If you described a typical teenager in the early 2000s, that would have been me. I was not unique, different, or special in any way. I tried so hard to be cool – but the cool by Teen People and MTV standards. I was a total teenybopper, obsessed over everything popular in pop culture, desired everything out of the DeLiA*s catalog. That being said, A Walk to Remember was one of my favorite movies. I didn’t shun it at all, in fact I welcomed it. So much so that I got the soundtrack for my 16th birthday, and proceeded to play it on repeat. I listened to a lot of Switchfoot and Mandy Moore on my morning drives to school.
Float On – Modest Mouse
Float On was released in February of 2004, so nearing the end of our senior year. I remember using the lyrics of this song in my AIM profile, pretending to be all deep and thoughtful, as it was exactly how I felt about ending one chapter and moving on to another. It continued to be a mainstay in my summer playlist – and by playlist I mean the Summer ’04 mix cd I made for myself and listened to on my way to my summer job at the local amusement park.
Closing Time – Semisonic
Remember how this was like the cliche song everyone used in their AOL profiles, AIM profiles, yearbook quotes, etc.? This and that Dave Matthews Band lyric, “Life is sweet but short for certain”? Yeah, I totally gave into that. Because I was really into my friends and super into technology, I created a slideshow from pictures of me and my friends from senior year and used this song as the soundtrack. That’s right – I was the master of Windows Media Player. Still can’t figure out why I wasn’t friends with the “popular kids”.
Molly’s Picks
No Such Thing by John Mayer
Our senior year was dominated by John Mayer, Dream Man (hey, it was 2004 and we were essentially babies). I heard this the other day, and it was a bit surreal to hear John Mayer sing about his ten-year reunion now that I’m there. It’s not exactly a super-deep song, but I do relate to it in ways I couldn’t have at 15.
Us at the John Mayer/Maroon 5 concert. In all its neon lights glory (see what I did there).
Molly & our friend Dave lifting Sarah up to try to “see into” the VIP section. John Mayer was not spotted.
New Slang by The Shins
From here, my list turns into a tour of sensitive indie rock of the early 2000s. My musical tastes were very Seth Cohen-y, to use a 2004-vintage reference. This was before that time in 2005-2006 when “Garden State soundtrack” became a shorthand for a type of music, but – well, obviously that’s what we’re looking at here.
History lesson: the internet was smaller then, and finding a band that wasn’t played on top-40 radio felt like a real discovery. With no iTunes, if you wanted a record you either had to download illegally (mea culpa!) or scour a real-life music store. If you wonder why hipsters are so insufferable about liking things before they were cool, it’s probably because back in the day they really had to earn it. There was no tumblr to tell teens what they were supposed to like, there was TRL and Teen People and you had to dig to find things outside of that.
Hey Girl by Dashboard Confessional
A Mark, A Mission, A Brand, A Scar was like the album if you were into – am I dating myself or really, really dating myself if I say alternative music? Or just into Chris Carrabba, on whom I had an even bigger teen girl crush than John Mayer.
Technicolor Girls by Death Cab For Cutie
This is the most “high school feelings” type song I can think of, so much so that even a decade later this takes me back to seeing friends in the parking lot by the football field. Like No Such Thing, this is a perspective on high school that I could understand but not really relate to until I was a decade removed: “we never turn out the way we thought we would.”
Soco Amaretto Lime by Brand New
When I heard this as a kid it was like “hell yes! Eighteen forever!” but now that I’m older and realize that the guys in the band were in their mid-20s when this was released, I hear a bit more wistfulness. But while I sometimes miss being 18, this also makes me think “oh, thank Christ I am not 18 forever. That was exhausting.”
Music has always been an important factor in movies and TV shows throughout the years, providing just a little something extra to create the exact emotions in a certain scene. And then there are the movies and TV shows that take music to a whole other level by creating made up bands and artists within the storyline. And sometimes they actually end up being really good. We’re not talking fake bands that cover songs, we’re talking the fictional artists with original music who could easily release their own songs and be chart toppers. Here are just a few of our favorites (and by few, we legit mean few. It was surprisingly hard to narrow down a list!)
Join The Professionals from Ladies And Gentlemen, The Fabulous Stains
Fictional Artist: The Stains
By all means, this should be one of those classic 80s films that’s played on a regular loop on TBS. Somehow – maybe because the universe isn’t just nor kind, maybe because TBS used their full rights-buying budget on The Breakfast Club and Coach Carter – it isn’t. Ladies and Gentlemen, The Fabulous Stains follows the rise of a girls’ punk band in the early 80s, and I am shamelessly including it on this list in the hopes that more people will see it.
Killer Tofu from Doug
Fictional Artist: The Beets
Millenials, can you feel me right now?
Obviously The Beets were supposed to lampoon The Beatles, but it also seems like they’re ripping on the early-mid 90s British rock bands that were popular at the time. I’m looking at you, Oasis.
That Thing You Do! From That Thing You Do!
Fictional Artist: The Wonders (Or, The Oneders)
Cheesy? Sure. But I loved this movie, and this is a perfectly formulated throwback rock/pop tune. That Thing You Do! came out when I was about 10, that age when music and bands take on a whole new life for you. This, La Bamba, and Selena were my Movies About Music trifecta circa 1997.
Big Bottom from This Is Spinal Tap
Fictional Artist: Spinal Tap
SO MUCH BASS. We couldn’t have a playlist of fictional bands without including Spinal Tap. Comedy fans and music lovers alike have elevated This Is Spinal Tap to cult classic status, and for good reason: they go to 11. I love how the different styles on the soundtrack trace the trajectory of the band – for instance, America (so Simon and Garfunkel!), Listen To The Flower People (one of Spinal Tap’s early efforts), and the oddly classy Lick My Love Pump.
It’s Hard Out Here For A Pimp from Hustle And Flow
Fictional Artists: DJay and Shug
In addition to being a great movie about the small-time hip hop scene, Hustle And Flow may mark the very last time that a movie, set in the present day at the time of release, featured a cassette tape as a prominent plot device.
Honorable Mentions: The Commitments (who only didn’t make the list because we’re focusing on original songs, and theirs were all covers); The nuns from Sister Act (whatever, I do what I want); Goodbye Lil Sebastian (Right, Parks fans?); Scotty Doesn’t Know from Eurotrip (see Sister Act); Forever (actually not good, and actually a Beach Boys cover, proving that not every record can be Pet Sounds); anything from Once (I couldn’t decide if it counted, since I wasn’t sure if I could divorce it from The Swell Season). This was a surprisingly hard list for me to narrow down, everyone.
Traci’s Picks
Male Prima Donna from The Office
Fictional Artists: Subtle Sexuality
Even if you were a fan of The Office, you still might not be familiar of the outstanding musical talent within the walls of Dunder Mifflin. Kelly Kapoor & Erin Hannon formed pop duo Subtle Sexuality during their out of office hours (read: a series of websisodes), and released to the viewing public in 2009. And it’s full of outlandish costumes and a lot of autotune and it’s wonderfully ridiculous. True story: This song used to be ringtone. If you liked this song, check out Subtle Sexuality’s second single, The Girl Next Door.
Every Minute, Every Hour from 2ge+her Again
Fictional Artists: 2ge+her
Guys, I’m not ashamed to say I was a total teenybopper when I was a teen. I totally drank the boy band kool-aid, even the fake boy band kool-aid that is 2ge+her. Like not even in an ironic way. I genuinely liked their music. And that was the brilliant part of the whole parody phenomenon – is that the songs were actually catchy. I mean, if I say U+Me = Us, I’m assuming most of you would be able to sing a little of it, because it was a memorable pop hit. Case in point: this song from the 2ge+her Again soundtrack, which incidentally was co-written by my boy Howie Dorough from the Backstreet Boys. It’s also one of the rare songs that doesn’t follow the parody formula (i.e. it’s not like Rub One Out or Say It, Don’t Spray It).
Pop! Goes My Heart from Music and Lyrics
Fictional Artists: PoP!
What do you mean you’ve never seen this movie? For shame. It has Hugh Grant, Drew Barrymore, and Jason Street from Friday Night Lights, what more could you ask for? Probably a better plot and script, that’s what. I mean I didn’t think it was that bad of a movie, but cinephiles might disagree. Basically Hugh Grant plays a washed up former 80s pop star from a band called PoP! (which was inspired by Wham!). And his band mate is played by Scott Porter, who actually sings and dances IRL. Their hit song is Pop! Goes My Heart and this music video is awesomely 80s.
Don’t Put Dirt On My Grave Just Yet from Nashville
Fictional Artists: Juliette Barnes
TBH, I only started watching Nashville because of Connie Britton. I’ve continued watching it because the soap opera-ness of it gets you hooked. But one of the best parts of the show (thankfully) is the music. Because the show centers on country music stars in Nashville, most of the songs are original tunes that are written by the same songwriters who write for the real country music stars in Nashville. It was really hard for me to pick just one from the show, so Don’t Put Dirt… is just one of my faves. But then there’s also Boys and Buses, A Life That’s Good,He Ain’t Gonna Change, I Ain’t Leavin’ Without Your Love, and Joy Parade by a C+S favorite, Lennon and Maisy.
Let Me Be Your Star from Smash
Fictional Artists: Karen Cartwright & Ivy Lynn
Let Me Be Your Star was the big song at the end of the pilot for Smash, and I figured that if my goosebumps were any indication of how the rest of the series was going to be, the show would be a hit. Well, we all know how that went. Smash was pretty interesting for a while, and then Bollywood happened, someone got killed, etc. etc. However, there were some great original songs made for the fictional musical, including this one and another one of my favorites, Caught in the Storm.
Honorable Mentions:Say No More (Mon Amour) from Empire Records (Rex Manning Day, y’all), California Dreams from California Dreams (I have this soundtrack, whatever), Friends Forever from Saved by the Bell (Zack Attack is forever in my heart).
Today is the tenth anniversary of the Friends finale. For us, this was the end of a decade that shaped the way we watched TV. Friends was the first “grown-up” sitcom I watched, the first time I really experienced ships and running gags and over-investment in TV characters. When we watched the finale on May 6, 2004 we knew that something special was coming to an end. Now that a decade has passed, and Friends has been off the air as long as it was on, we thought this was the perfect time to live blog The Last One – the final episode of Friends.
T: For the record, this finale gives me a lot A LOT of feels, so I tend to avoid it like the plague. I’ve only seen it maybe five times (?) in the past 10 years, as opposed to all the other eps which I’ve basically seen too many times to count.
M: Twice here, I think. Maybe three times. Same reason. By the way, the end of Friends roughly marked the end of that thing where you knew everyone was watching the same show at the same time as you. There were several years between this finale and DVR and internet TV taking off, but Friends was really one of the last big shows of the primetime era. Cultural shifts in our lifetime, y’all.
T: (opening scene) I’ve never taken Joey for someone who prides himself in style, but this brown button up dress shirt with random blue print is … definitely from 2004. Must be the free Ralph Lauren from Rachel.
T: :54 #ClapClapClapClap
M: Remember when there was a CD of the Friends soundtrack? It was in the early years, like 1995ish. I think it had the theme song by like 5 different bands. Probably like… the Lemonheads. Lisa Loeb. Presidents Of The United States Of America. That sort of thing.
T: 2:22 Remember when Anna Faris was just ‘Erica the surrogate mom from Friends?’ Now she’s ‘Chris Pratt’s wife’ or like… something else to do with her career.
M: I had 1000% forgotten that this was Anna Faris. By the way, I was just in a maternity ward this week (not my baby) and those rooms look completely the same as they did in 2004. And even in 2004, the decor was sort of 1983-ish.
Peach wallcoverings with Laura Ashley curtains. And sunset paintings in bulky gold frames.
T: Also FTR, I have always and WILL always be a Ross/Rachel shipper. I don’t care how cliche that is. Which makes this finale even more perfect.
T: 4:00 Monica to Chandler: “What kind of social situation ARE you comfortable with?” THE ACCURACY.
M: You know how girls have celebrity spirit animals? Like Audrey Hepburn or Beyonce? Mine is Chandler Bing.
T: I forget, how old is Erica supposed to be? Like in her 20s? Why is she going to “Church Camp” as an adult??
M: “Do you ever wonder what is worse, going through labor or getting kicked in the nuts? […] Maybe there’s even something more painful than both those things. Like this.” WHY did it take Monica like 6 seasons to scoop up this gem of a man.
T: 5:20 WHERE ARE CHICK JR. AND DUCK JR. NOW??? HUH???
M: Dead. With 8 generations of descendants. Because this was a decade ago. Really depressing to think about animals in beloved TV shows of the past, isn’t it?
M: 4:40 (Oh hey my episode’s on a slightly different timeline than Traci’s by the way): Ross: You were sure Ben was going to be a girl. Phoebe: Have you seen him throw a ball?
And on that note, I give you Ben, 2014:
T: 6:28 Ross: “Hey, I’m not one to kiss and tell. But I’m also not one to have sex and shut up – we totally did it!” This line makes me LOL unreasonably.
M: Most 2004 thing in this scene: the giant CD tower.
Second-most 2004 thing: Phoebe’s tattoo choker necklace.
T: 7:15 Okay, Phoebe’s running joke about everything being a musical is so underrated, I feel.
M: YES! Actually, I think Phoebe as a character is underrated. Phoebe and Chandler.
M: No, really, am I just old or has fashion barely changed in the past decade? I know we wrote about mid-2000s trends but the fact is that Ross’s shirt and sweater combo and Rachel’s straightened highlighted hair totally still works.
Mostly acceptable outfits.
T: 9:25 These baby cries seem awfully fake (I know they are, but)
M: “That is one disgusting miracle” – consider this a preview of my post about lines from Friends that I still have in my everyday lexicon.
T: 10:35 I remember YELLING at the TV when the doctor said ‘the other baby is coming in a minute’. It was like I Didn’t Know I Was Pregnant but, like I Didn’t Know I Was Having Two Kids And Not One instead. Also, can you imagine getting all the stuff you need for one baby and then you come home with two?? Like can you put another baby in a crib? You would need to buy alll the diapers. Stressful.
M: I can’t even handle surprise parties. For other people, even. Surprise babies? NOPE. I remember being really angry as well, because it seemed like such a cheap sitcom-y situation. I know it’s a sitcom. But still.
M: When Erica says the line about both heartbeats being really strong “and that’s good because I’m having a baby” I realize that I basically have this entire episode memorized. And thus I must have seen it way more than two times. I’m starting to think I watched it multiple times right after it aired (on VHS, natch) then haven’t seen it again since like … maybe 2005.
T: 12:32 Eight is Enough : a reference I definitely had to look up at the age of 18.
M: Joey to Ross: “Is that what a dinosaur would do?” I love the recurring joke where nobody’s at all clear on what Ross does (see also: “one sad polontologist”).
M:13:11 (iTunes episode timeline): 2004 throwback: Atkins reference. Oh God I hated Atkins. Just because how annoying people were on it. Around 2004, I remember a lady at the movie theatre where I worked grilling me on whether popcorn had carbs. I think I answered “yeah, probably a lot.” Employee of the decade here.
T: 14:49 Ross ‘waiting’ and leaning against the couch while Gunther professes his love for Rachel is the greatest. Ross is my favorite friend. Tied with Chandler. I just think Ross is so underrated.
M: Yeah, I’ll buy that, too. When I was a kid he seemed like the most “boring grownup” type of the bunch, but he plays sad-sack goofy nerd so well!
T: 17:35 Phoebe: “Sure he’s (Gunther) is more sexy in an obvious way.” Phoebe has the weirdest taste in guys. James Brolin, Jack Geller, Jacques Cousteau… I will say she scored with Paul Rudd though.
M: Thing I never thought about raising kids in New York City: having to secure a car seat into a cab. Excuse me, two car seats. EVERY TIME. Do you know how long those suckers take to get into the car? And you’re supposed to have firefighters check to make sure it’s in right. Do they have special firefighters checking every cab? Doubtful.
T: 18:45 Phoebe’s friend Ethel’s baby came home with a TEENY TINY BEARD.
T: 20:50 I LEGIT AM ALREADY TEARING UP WITH RACHEL SAYING GOODBYE TO ROSS.
M: Is it wrong that I really like Rachel’s 2004 outfit? There are knee socks. And a pullover vest. I think I just answered my own question.
T: Man, I would die if I was in the audience for this finale. Can you even imagine?
T: 23:00 I love when Phoebe’s angry/street side comes out. Never forget where you come from, y’all. Also, Not like I pass by toll booths all the time, but I think about Pheebs throwing the change at the window every time I drive through one.
M: Me too! I use EZPass (I love New York) and every time I’m at an out-of-state toll booth I have an instant Phoebe reaction.
T: I appreciate that the writers also decided to bring another OTP back together for the finale: Chandler and Joey. The whole trying to find Chick & Duck Jr. together was great, particularly with the foosball table metaphor and Monica eventually being the one to break it because the boys can’t do it.
M: There was a really good physical comedy moment when the ball drops into the foosball table and the camera closes in on their faces as they wait to hear what happens with it.
T: 29:23 Ross: “Okay if you could all walk slower, that would be great.” Me, anytime I walk anywhere with tourists or slow people.
M: I always angrily walk around them because I CANNOT DEAL WITH THAT. I’m a pretty chill driver, but I think I might have whatever the walking version of road rage is. Sidewalk rage, I guess.
T: 30:20 ross running through the line, pheebs running past it
M: I think this is one of the first airport chase scenes of the post-9/11 era. It was all so much easier before.
T: 31:25 Thinking of turning Ross’ ‘MONICA. MONICA. MONICA. MONICA… THAT IS PRECIOUS” into my ringtone.
T: 32:00 Ross realizing he’s at the wrong airport:
M: There’s no .gif of Joey saying “good game” to all of the foosball guys. Just, y’know, in case you were wondering. Also Monica and Chandler are neglecting their babies kind of a lot, right?
T: 35:37 Enter Dean Pelton.
M: The running gag with the phalange was probably my favorite part of the episode when it first aired. “THERE IS NO PHALANGE!”
T: 36:43 The guy who says ‘WHAT’S GOING ON??’ on the plane << overacting, much??
T: 39:00 Awkward hug or lame cool guy handshake was a thing my friends and I did the last night I lived on campus before going off to study abroad.
T: 40:00 Phoebe Buffay: Ultimate Ross and Rachel shipper
T: 41:28 annnnddd cue the crying yet again. Damnnit Schwimmer. I really thought she would stay too.. except there’s still 10 minutes left sooo
M: I think I cried when Rachel got on the plane when this first aired. Now I’m mostly dead inside so it’s cool, but I do remember the feeling. Of, you know, having feelings.
T: 42:43 Remember those old answering machines? Remember how it took me forever to come up with that term? It’s been 10 years and virtually no one uses those anymore, which is odd, because nothing in this episode looks like 2004 to me.
T: 44:20 cue crying number three
M: Nope. My eyes are as dry as Nevada in August, here. I love when “live studio audiences” used to do that “wooooo!” thing when people kissed.
T: 44:57 I remember telling someone before the finale aired that the ‘we were on a break line’ was going to be in the finale, if not the last line. kudos for me being insane.
M: I mean it was probably me. We had a legitimate long-standing bet about the parentage of Rachel’s baby before it was revealed. So yeah, we’ve always been a bit over-invested in TV.
T: 46:00 Joey: ‘Has it always been purple?’ What fans were thinking at that exact same moment
T: 46:22 I didn’t know what rent control was so I legit only know what it is today because I looked it up after this finale.
T: 46:37 I couldn’t believe we also spent 10 years without knowing Ross had a background in dance.
M: Well, there was “the routine.” In my imagination it during the era when he was really into making those songs on the Casio keyboard.
T: 47:00 Love this key scene – even though they never locked the door (except for the time where Underdog Got Away). After the finale I found some desktop wallpaper that some fan had made that was a picture of the six keys in a circle on the counter that said ‘Leave the keys, take the memories’
T: 47:45 REAL FREAKING TEARS FROM EVERYONE RN INCLUDING ME AND ALSO I HAVE THE CHILLS
M: Okay I think I just felt something. Empty apartment. Ugh. I think every sitcom writers room should be required to watch certain really good finales before they can start writing theirs. Friends is on the list.
Final Thoughts: This series finale puts a perfect bow on top of the present which we call Friends (lame, whatevs). But really. This finale is proof that this show is one of the most revered sitcoms in TV history. In the original pitch for the show from creators Marta Kaufman and David Crane, the show (first titled Insomnia Cafe), they made it clear that this was going to be a series about friends and growing up in your 20s.
An excerpt from the original pitch:
It’s about sex, love, relationship, careers… a time in your life when everything is possible, which is really exciting and really scary. It’s about searching for love and commitment and security… and a fear of love and commitment and security. And it’s about friendship, because when you’re young and single in the city, your friends are your family. http://goodinaroom.com/blog/original-pitch-tv-show-friends/attachment/giar-blog-friends-pitch/
They stayed true to the original premise for all 10 years – even if you thought the later seasons were not funny. The finale was a culmination of what they’ve learned over the past decade; them growing up together, showing that they were able to get over the fear of love and commitment and security – because a decade later, they had it. It was the perfect time for them to start a new chapter of their lives with their own families and to finally say goodbye. Finales should be all about not only satisfying the characters in their own (fictional) lives, but maybe more importantly satisfying for the fans. And that’s exactly what the Friends finale did.
Spring is the air, and it’s time for all things new – flowers are budding, leaves are popping up on the trees, baby bunnies are … hopping, I guess?… and after a long, stale winter, some new music is hitting the airwaves.
In case you’re looking, here are some fresh hot jams you should get into:
The woman this song is about is so interesting and magical, like the girl a guy would fall in love with in an indie film. I like the part where she does tae-bo.
Blue (Da Ba Dee) – Eiffel 65
We have absurdism in art, and even in comedy, and it’s like why not in music, you know? I have a feeling that Eiffel 65 is really going places. This song is about a guy who is blue and has blue stuff. I think it might be about depression, not sure.
Work It – Missy Elliot
I’m having a really hard time figuring out what she says after “put my thing down flip it and reverse it.” Is it just sounds? It doesn’t matter. This jam is fresh just how it is.
Underneath Your Clothes – Shakira
This song is the ultimate – it’s really romantic and sweet, but it’s also really hot. And I think it might add some new phrases to the pick up line lexicon – “is that your endless story, or are you just happy to see me?”
It Wasn’t Me – Shaggy
You won’t believe how catchy this is! But I’m more into Rikrok’s verses because sometimes it sounds like Shaggy has something caught in his throat. I don’t know what happens after the song ends, but I think they really might get back together.
Traci’s Picks
Smooth – Rob Thomas featuring Santana
Ok guys, I’m like obsessed with this song. Like so much that I went out and bought the CD single – which is annoying because it’s only about 4 songs, and 3 of them are remixes. But I like to stay true to the original. Obviously Matchbox 20 is one of the greatest bands ever, but Rob Thomas as a solo artist is proving that he’s a star with Santana. I feel like I’m supposed to know Santana, but excuse me if I don’t make it a habit of listening to Latin guitarists on the regular. Either way, I LOVE this song, and it’s the perfect summer anthem!
Faded – soulDecision
Ok, I know it seems like there are a lot of boy bands creepin up these days, but I feel like this one is going to make it. They’re from Canada but it doesn’t sound like it (IDK what that means). I love the soul/r&B voices these white guys have, and that unique sound will definitely take them far.
Take Me There -Blackstreet featuring Mýa, Mase and Blinky Blink
Let’s face it, I’m probably a little too old to be watching the Rugrats movie. But that didn’t stop me. Plus this song from the soundtrack is da bomb. And the music video looks like they had so much fun filming it. So cool.
The Bad Touch – Bloodhound Gang
This song is so ridiculous that it’s actually really good and the music video is even weirder, which makes it even more amazing. I mean who does this? So many people are going to vote for this on TRL.
Give It To You – Jordan Knight
New Kids on the Block may be broken up but I’m so glad that Jordan Knight came out with this single! I love the two-step vibe (that is totally the greatest new genre of music – Craig David, anyone?). Not to mention his buddy Joey McIntyre has a great single out too, these New Kids are totally making names for themselves without the rest of the guys!
No that’s not a typo, we really mean 2013. Since it’s technically still Oscars month, we decided to keep the celebration going, with our picks for the best songs from all the *Oscar-eligible* movies from last year.
From Baz Luhrman’s Great Gatsby soundtrack to pretty much all of Llewyn Davis, there were a lot of great tunes on the big screen and these are just a few of ours. Did we miss any of your faves? Let us know below!
Click here to listen to the entire list (most of the songs) on Spotify!
Traci’s Picks
Love is an Open Door by Kristen Bell & Santino Fontana – Frozen
You didn’t think we’d make a list of the best movie songs WITHOUT a song from Frozen, did you? I personally think Let It Go is a fine song, but it’s not my favorite from the whole bunch. I basically switch between this song and For the First Time in Forever when pretending I’m Kristen Bell in my car and belting out these songs. Don’t pretend you don’t too. I’M 28 YEARS OLD, FOLKS.
Over The Love by Florence + The Machine – The Great Gatsby
We mentioned this briefly during the Oscars Live Blog, but we loved The Great Gatsby. Haters to the left. One of the best things about a Baz Luhrman film is that the music will always be top notch. This is no different. One of my favorite tracks from the soundtrack is Florence + The Machine (expect more Gatsby on this list). It’s a haunting song, like more Florence songs, but there’s an elegance to it, much like Gatsby. And I mean it has the words ‘green light’ in it. Come on! Slash Florence make new music kthxbye.
Bad Girls by M.I.A. – The Bling Ring
Perhaps this is an unpopular opinion, but I really liked The Bling Ring. It showed everything that’s wrong with kids (and adults)’ obsession with celebrities and how it can be taken to the extreme. It was like a 2 hour psychology project in film form. This song is perfect for the look and tone of Sofia Coppola’s film, and it always remind me of Emma Watson saying:
Silhouettes by Of Monsters and Men – Catching Fire
While I definitely loved Catching Fire better than The Hunger Games, film wise, I can easily say the first soundtrack was much better than the second. But, this song is an exception – it perfectly encapsuslates Katniss and Peeta’s relationship both in the Games and life outside of it, and Of Monsters and Men does a great job of giving the song an eerie feeling that I assume one would get if ever faced in the Capitol. Especially with President Snow.
Ride Like the Wind by Robin Thicke featuring Ron Burgundy – Anchorman 2: The Legend Continues
When the first Anchorman came out, it was the summer before I was a freshman in college, and I remember thinking it was the funniest movie I had ever seen in my life. I would quote it constantly and listen to Afternoon Delight as like a pasttime. But a lot as changed since 2004. I’d like to think my humor has changed slightly – but I was delightfully surprised when Anchorman 2 came out and while the jokes were much different, the tone was the same and I still couldn’t stop laughing. My face literally hurt afterwards. In saying this, not only do I genuinely like this ‘yacht rock’ track originally by Christopher Cross, but the interjections from Ron are on point. It’s the perfect thing to listen to if you need to brighten your day.
***Special shout out to the best ‘musical moment’ from a movie in 2013 – James Franco & the girls in Spring Breakers. If you’ve seen the movie, you know exactly what scene I’m talking about. If you haven’t, I suggest you should try giving the movie a shot, and this might seem kind of weird and out of place, but it totally works in the movie. Here they are singing Britney Spears’ Everytime.***
Molly’s Picks
Please Mr. Kennedy by Justin Timberlake – Inside Llewyn Davis
I don’t know how this wasn’t nominated for Best Original Song, but I’m sure the Cohen Brothers will find consolation that it made the Cookies + Sangria playlist of the month. This is a satire (well… maybe it feels a bit more like pastiche?) of 60s protest songs, begging President Kennedy not to “shoot me into outer space,” and it is awesome.
100$ Bill by Jay-Z – The Great Gatsby
The Great Gatsby and Frozen were my favorite soundtracks of the year, without a doubt. I love how a lot of the tracks feature jazz horns or riffs from classic old-school songs, but there’s a lot of modern hip hop in there too. Luhrmann’s interpretations are more about the spirit of the material and not the letter of it. Were they listening to Jay-Z in the 20s? … Okay, actually… maybe.
But more importantly, the flappers and sheiks at Jay Gatsby’s crazy parties weren’t listening to the establishment’s music on their Victrola, they were listening to the new and scandalous stuff. Rap and electro are to the 2000s as jazz was to the 1920s. I want to put the whole soundtrack on here, but let’s leave it at this track.
Roll Jordan Roll by John Legend – 12 Years A Slave
12 Years A Slave was scored by Hans Zimmer, but you’d be forgiven for thinking it was a T-Bone Burnett work when you listen to this reworked spiritual. Music is central in 12 Years A Slave, both because of Northrup’s violin skills and the use of music in slave life. Roll Jordan Roll occurs in a pivotal moment in the film, and this great John Legend version was released on the soundtrack – feeling a bit more like one of the Civil Rights-era reinterpretations of classic spirituals. Sad and surprising coincidence: Like Solomon Northrup, some of Legend’s ancestors were also free Northerners who were kidnapped into slavery.
Also, if you are a combination history nerd-music nerd, you should check out this interview with Nicholas Britell, who mined original sources to create music for the film that sounded true to the time period.
Happy by Pharrell Williams – Despicable Me 2
Yes, this song is everywhere. But it’s so infectiously, well, happy. Especially after the all-star dance party to this tune at the Oscars – and my many no-star dance parties to this song with one of my favorite three-year-olds – I can’t help but smile when I hear this.
If I Needed You by The Broken Circle Breakdown Bluegrass Band – The Broken Circle Breakdown
The Belgian bluegrass scene? Yes, it’s real. Just give this movie and soundtrack a shot – it’s the best heartbreaking movie about music since Once. But just a warning: it’s a beautiful film, but very, very sad. If you’re not in a good mental place for that, at least listen to the soundtrack, full of re-imagined Bluegrass and country standards, like this song better known as sung by Townes van Zandt and Emmylou Harris.
Happy post-Oscar day! The 2014 Academy Awards were sort of amazing in that almost everyone who we all thought would win actually won. The winners were deserved and everyone looked amazing! So, for those of us who got 4-5 hours of sleep because of this fiasco asking if last night was really worth it, I think it was. Here are our picks for Best and Worst dressed, because we couldn’t each pick Lupita Nyong’o five times for Best Dressed and Liza Minnelli five times for Worst Dressed. But that doesn’t mean we didn’t want to!
Traci’s Picks
Best Dressed
Lupita Nyong’o in Prada
Ever since she showed up lookin FIERCE at the Golden Globes with the red cape situation, all eyes have been on Lupita on the red carpet. Somehow, she never disappoints. This particular dress is Prada, and she said she picked it because it reminded her of Nairobi, her hometown in Kenya. It already has sentimental value to it, so you can’t go wrong. And whoever her stylist is, you deserve your own Oscar, because I almost teared up seeing her on the red carpet for the first time at the Academy Awards. Maybe it’s because I’m overly emotional and cry at anything, but you know how some actresses just have a dress that makes it look like they’re going to win that night? It was JLaw’s Dior cloud dress from last year, Julia Roberts’ black and white Valentino, Halle Berry’s Elie Saab gown in ’02, these are iconic dresses that you remember forever. And we’ll aways remember Lupita, not only for her excellent acting, but her excellent style choices, especially the ones that land her in the record books.
Kate Hudson In Atelier Versace
Speaking of fierce capes – well this isn’t really a cape, it’s more of a fierce shawl. Kate took it off when she presented (right?) but I so prefer this look over sans shawl. She looks so old school Hollywood glam, and what better place to do it at the Oscars?!
Charlize Theron in Dior
Glam bam thank you ma’am. I mean Charlize is already beautiful but this silhouette gown? Beyond.
Naomi Watts in Calvin Klein
Apparently the night’s theme was ‘Frozen’ in multiple ways. Of course Frozen won twice but on the red carpet, white and light colors were in. But Naomi Watts did it best. I love love love everything about this: the gown, the Bulgari jewels, the two-toned clutch. To die. Judging by the close up pix, I feel like it would look even more stunning in person.
Portia de Rossi In Naeem Khan
Whoooaaaa Portia! This screams: my wife is hosting the Oscars and I’m so proud and sexy so haters to the left. I’ve never really considered Portia an expert in style per se, so I guess that makes this look all the more amazing. Again, she’s in the white/off white ‘color’ of the night, and the detail in the dress is EXQUISITE (sorry for the douchebaggery). I had a hard time not staring at the patterns because it’s just ridiculous.
Honorable Mention: Calista Flockhart in Andrew Gn. As the Plus one to hubs Harrison, it was the perfect dress to stand out yet make sure it wasn’t all about her. Just like Naomi, I bet this dress looked stunning up close.
Worst Dressed
Liza Minnelli in Vintage Halston
Oh dear. This picture pretty much sums up Liza’s Oscars night.
Lady Gaga in Atelier Versace Couture
My frustration with Gaga is that I like her. I think she has a great voice, I appreciate she goes balls to the wall with her creativity, even if it’s super weird and slightly scary, but the bottom line is she’s talented and that’s why she deserved all the attention, fame, adoration, etc. However, I also know she’s a pretty girl. She is legit wearing a weave here, and even though this is a very conservative outfit for Gaga, it doesn’t really match her personality or style.
Anne Hathaway in Gucci
No. Last year, no. After party last year, no too. This year’s after party – girl you should’ve worn this gown in 2013 AND 2014.
Elsa Pataky In Elie Saab
Mrs. Chris Hemsworth is pregnant with twins, which explains the protruding belly. But lest us all take a page out of Kerry Washington’s pregnancy style bible and remember that while you should embrace your new curves, you shouldn’t flaunt them to excess.
Pharrell in Lanvin
Imma be real with you. I didn’t think there were a lot of horrible dresses this year. Many were amazing and many were meh. Which is why Pharrell is on here. I get that he’s a superstar musician and can do whatever da fuq he wants, but these shorts are more Grammys style. Honestly, I’d rather have you wear the hat all night, because that’s your thing.
Molly’s Picks
Best Dressed
Lupita Nyong’o in Prada
Everyone looked so wonderful last night that there’s no need for repeats on our Best Dressed lists – but I HAD to talk about Lupita Nyong’o. Lupita actually helped design this dress, inspired by champagne bubbles and Nairobi. So, whatever it is you’re best at in life, I’m pretty sure Lupita Nyong’o could do it better and more beautifully than you. It must have been a lot of pressure being expected to be the best dressed of the night, but this was better than I could have even imagined. As a fellow bony-chested lady, I cannot tell you how delighted I was by that plunging neckline – a real victory for us gals with scrawny sternums. As we said in the live blog, Lupita is an Audrey Hepburn in a Hollywood full of Tori Spellings.
Cate Blanchett in Georgio Armani
The real trend this year was nude-colored dresses with beading and like … fluffy things. There’s a lot of texture going on in 2014, and Cate Blanchett wore the trend perfectly. As her effortless acceptance speech showed, Blanchett is an old pro at this. She picked a fantastic silhouette, went with her standby designer, and managed to look both perfectly modern and perfectly classic.
Jennifer Lawrence in Christian Dior
There wasn’t a lot of color on the red carpet last night, and this orange number was a delight. I don’t care what mean internet people say, I think that short hair really suits J.Law. My only complaint is that this dress looked a LITTLE less beautiful when falling than her other dress did.
Amy Adams in Gucci
There was a split reaction on this dress, with some people thinking it was sort of a yawn. But I’m of the mind that elegance is refusal — see also Bullock, Sandra. I especially loved the pops of color in Amy’s earrings and bracelet.
Matthew McConaughey in Dolce & Gabbana
Men’s fashion is just not as exciting as women’s fashion, and there’s only so much you can do — any attempt you make to step outside the box will leave you wearing a rumpled colored tux or stupid shorts. This is an example of Creative Black Tie done well, in my opinion. The well-fitted white jacket over the crisp formal vest, shirt and tie wouldn’t look out of place at a 1920s dinner party or 1940s jazz club. Well done, Pastor Matt of the Church Of McConaughey.
Honorable Mention: Naomi Watts in Calvin Klein Collection. As I said, I’m trying to avoid repeats, but I at least have to mention this. She looks like a beautiful glittering snow queen, for goodness sakes.
Speaking of snow queens, Kristen Bell deserves a mention for the best accessory of the night – a purse with a burrito in it. Bless. Oh, she looked lovely, as well.
Worst Dressed
Jared Leto in Saint Laurent
I’m told I’m supposed to like this, but sorry, I’m not feeling it. The look does fit Leto – forever Jordan Catalano, but also frontman of 30 Seconds To Mars. A more clean-cut look probably wouldn’t suit him. Still, the jacket was a little too cream-colored and the shirt a little too white for my taste, and the red tie and pocket square didn’t work for me either. I gotta hand it to him, though: Leto has gorgeous hair and beautiful eyes and just like… a great general face area.
Christian Bale
Theodore Lawrence, what happened? This is what I mean about creative black tie – it’s like guys have to choose between looking boring yet appropriate, or just kind of … off. I’ve never been a fan of black on black male formalwear, but it’s not just that. The whole thing looks rumply and ill-fitted. The shirt looks stretched and the pants look too big. Get thee to a tailor, Bale.
Liza Minnelli in Halston
As with Lupita, I’m trying not to do repeats here but I’d be an idiot not to address this. Between Liza and Gaga last night, does the gay community even have a true fashion icon left? It’s not Johnny Weir, is it? Oh, gosh. It’s Johnny Weir.
Whoopi Goldberg
This look was stupid when Julia Roberts wore it at the Golden Globes, and it’s still stupid now – but now it’s stupid AND uninspired. The knotted pearl necklace from Costume Warehouse’s flapper outfit isn’t helping.
Penelope Cruz in Giambattista Valli Haute Couture
The good: that soft pink color, the pretty draping. The bad: I think if this dress existed without the back panel draped over her arms, I might love it. Was it just how she was posing? Close but no cigar, here.
Honorable Mentions: Charlize Theron – I loved everything about this except the shoulder strap situation. It doesn’t really belong on my worst dressed, but I just wanted to point out that the top of it looks like someone was dressing a paper doll, but didn’t know they had to fold the tabs over its shoulder.
Also, while not worst by any means, sometimes Kerry Washington’s dress looked like it was a cruddy taupe color, but in still shots you could tell it was a muted lavender/mauve. Blame the lighting, not the dress. Kerry was, of course, stunning even when I thought she was wearing that boring terra cotta color that everyone painted their family room in 2001.
This is neither best nor worst, here nor there, but I just found out that Johnny Weir and Tara Lipinski were there and I felt like I had to share this information with everyone. Johnny Weir is dressed as Liberace dressed as a matador dressed as an old-timey oil baron, because of course.
And finally… Kim Novak’s face. Yes, she’s clearly had some plastic surg, but I want everyone who’s ever criticized a celebrity for starting to look old to take a good, hard look at themselves and say “I caused this.”
Howdy friends! Welcome to our newly redesigned site! Take a look around, some things have changed, but the content has not! And to prove this, we’ll be live blogging Hollywood’s biggest night starting 7pm EST/4pm PST, so watch this space for updates. As always, please refresh your browser window periodically to load our up-to-the-minute commentary. You can also follow us on Twitter for updates in 140 characters or less at @cookiessangria (a button linking directly to our Twitter is conveniently located in the sidebar, as well as our newly updated Facebook & Tumblr!).
In the meantime, enjoy this video of baby Ben Affleck and (a cummerbund-ed) Matt Damon accepting their first Oscar for Best Screenplay for one of the greatest movies of all time, Good Will Hunting. Look how far they’ve come…
Preshow
M: I just turned E!’s preshow on at 6:30. I’m wondering if I missed any really famous people. I did see either Kristen Chenowith or a very chipper child actress..
Chiwetel Ejiofor looks attractive in a suit; also has an attractive, well-dressed sister (a TV newswoman). Neither of these facts is surprising, but I’m delighted regardless.
Amy Adams apparently dressed “for herself” today, and it worked. Ummm… has anyone ever SEEN Amy Adams and Isla Fisher in the same place? Or Jessica Chastain, for that matter? The internet is all “whatever” about Amy Adams’ dress but I’m pretttty sure Amy Adams is all “whatever” about randos on the internet.
Idina Menzel: form-fitting Vera Wang, serious bling around her neck. A long way from Maureen Johnson performing Over The Moon in a cyber-cafe.
I think black dresses might be the thing tonight, because Olivia Wilde is wearing a gorgeous dark number, and somehow only looks pregnant from the side. Not to be outdone, Olivia Wide’s unborn baby is wearing Olivia Wilde.
LUPITA NYONG’O. Lupita Nyong’o is dressed as a flawlessly beautiful celestial ancient Greek sea-spirit-queen Cinderella. We’ll give more details as they become available, but suffice to say that she looks better than I could even imagine looking.
And although I cannot ever imagine looking like Lupita Nyong’o, I also have a bony chest – it looks like a damn xylophone – and I have SO much love for Lupita for rocking the plunging neckline that everybody tells you you can’t do.
So, the thing with Pharrell is that happiness would be my truth, too, if I were 40 years old but stopped physically aging at 20. He is wearing short-pants, like a small boy from yesteryear who hasn’t graduated to full pants yet. What I’m saying is that Pharrell is clearly vampire from the past.
Anna Kendrick is wearing black with sheer cut-outs. I’m not explaining that very well. She’s one of the few people who can pull off looking smoldering and adorable at the same time. Smoldorable.
Speaking of smoldering and adorable all at once: June Squibb and Jared Leto. Leto is wearing a white suit and I’m not even mad. I mean I’ll voice my displeasure later, probably, but the man looks good.
I cannot get excited over Jessica Biel. I’m sorry.
Sarah Paulson is wearing Elie Saab – nude, high-necked, long-sleeved, beaded. And her hair is brown now! It looks great on her. She tells Ryan Seacrest that his eyes look super-green, and he says “colored contacts,” and y’all, I don’t think he’s joking.
Between all of these nude-netted dresses (looking at you, Blanchett) and the Winter Olympics, the company that makes that peachy flesh-colored material is having a real banner year.
EW says that Jennifer Lawrence fell again. If Jennifer Lawrence falls, and nobody’s there to report on it, did it even happen?
T: HI I’M SO IN THE MIDDLE OF WORKING RIGHT NOW BUT OMG JENNIFER LAWRENCE FALLING ON THE RED CARPET I’M DYING.
M: Is she really clumsy or do they just put her in ill-fitting or bad shoe all the time? FIND A BETTER COBBLER, LAWRENCE!!
T: I mean I think she’s just super clumsy. She seems like the type who would be clumsy. She literally was waving to fans and not looking where she was going and I think she tripped on the girl’s dress in front of her? Like slow-motion whilst laughing and a police officer had to help her up. I cannot with you, Katniss.
M: How long until there’s a gif of this moment? My money’s on it being available before the show starts.
T: You know Tumblr is on that shit right now.
M: How does anyone interview Christopher Walken without screaming “WHAT HAPPENED TO NATALIE WOOD?” is beyond me, but hey, that’s why I make a better lawyer than journalist.
M: I just slid the headband off of my head with dejection and more than a little disgust. Technically it was because my temples were hurting, but really because I shouldn’t even try to wear a headband while Lupita is.
So, I switched to the ABC preshow a while ago because the folks at E! were making like college football coaches after the game, just drawing circles on footage and stuff. And ABC just spent about 5 minutes showing us these college kids who, I guess, won a thing. Novel idea: cut that out, start the show at 8EST, and let the actors finish their darn speeches without practically dragging them offstage by one of those oversized vaudeville canes.
Jamie Foxx and Jamie Foxx’s daughter are making the case for some people just having really, really good genes. As in, I’ll never love anything as the two of them must love genetics.
The good part about watching preshows on both networks is getting to see Jared Leto twice. I find myself less interested in who made his suit and more interested in who makes his deep conditioner.
M: Lupita Nyong’o helped design her dress. Of course. Why do I get the feeling that she’d be that girl in fifth grade who joined the dance class you’d been in since kindergarten, and she’d advance to the level above you within like 2 months. You know, sort of able to do everything without even having to try?
Bill Murray just said that things that make him laugh include David Letterman, ESPN, and his kids. So, evidently Bill Murray has the exact same sense of humor as your uncle who lives in DesMoines and sells a lot of insurance.
Will Smith has an earring now. Or maybe he always did, who knows. As my mom told my brother when he was in third grade and wanted to get one ear pierced, “getting an earring won’t make you cool. It just makes you a person who has an earring.”
T: JLAW TRIPGATE2K14 UPDATE:
M: Sandra Bullock is wearing midnight blue Alexander McQueen and looks gorgeous. See, sometimes the best look isn’t a dress with weird sequins all over it or like … that is also a swan costume, or whatever. Simple dress, simple sideswept curls, absolutely perfect. Nobody named Sandy has ever looked that good. No offense to ladies named Sandy but I think you all know this already.
I just saw Joseph Gordon-Levitt chatting with Gabourey Sidibe. Man,that would be fun convo. While we’re on the topic of JGL, figure skater Jason Brown looks 100% like an alternate universe version of how Third Rock-era Gordon-Levitt could have grown up.
The Oscars have started!
M: Ellen is here, and she is dressed like a very sparkly version of a tiny Victorian boy. So, another vampire. Honestly, just take the classic Blue Boy painting and put him in black, and you have Ellen’s outfit.
Little Lord Fauntleroy starts with a weather joke, so let’s all grab a Snapple and some Chex mix and settle in for a nice night of Middle America.
Ellen declared Jared Leto “the prettiest,” and she’s right. She also riffs on Jennifer Lawrence falling, and Lawrence exacts the best possible revenge: taking the joke nicely while looking almost disturbingly beautiful.
You know how I was talking about genetics earlier? Exhibit: Lupita Nyong’o’s brother. Lupita Nyongo’s… single brother, perhaps? I’ll research it during one of the commercials.
M: YES. Because when Ellen makes a joke, it’s like your own mom or aunt making a joke. But without the added baggage of 20+ years of history and issues.
T: Is Anne Hathaway trying to get nominated for an Oscar for presenting? Just because this is the first time you’ve been on stage since your disaster with Franco doesn’t mean you have to be all dramatic.
idk wtf this is but okay
M: Yeah, she was really leaning into that one. I swear God if Jared Leto doesn’t win it’ll be the most he’s disappointed me since Jordan Catalano wrote that song Red about a car instead of Angela Chase.
T: Speaking of disasters, I’m crying already.
M: I was going to ask how your eyes were doing. It’s a little dusty in here all of a sudden. ICYMI, Jared Leto thanked his mom and his brother … but, like, beautifully, and then dedicatd his award to the dreamers of the world, before calling attention to the AIDS epidemic. They let him speak until he was done, rather than cutting him off, because even the guy in charge of the music cues probably has a RAGING crush on Jared Leto right now.
Best Supporting Actor:
Barkhad Abdi, Captain Phillips
Bradley Cooper, American Hustle
Michael Fassbender, 12 Years a Slave
Jonah Hill, The Wolf of Wall Street
Jared Leto, Dallas Buyers Club
Molly’s pick: Jared Leto
Traci’s pick: Jared Leto fun fact: he’s the OLDEST person in this category. Because he’s 42 YEARS OLD. I REPEAT: JORDAN CATALANO IS 42 YEARS OLD.
Molly: It quite literally felt like somebody pushed the air out of my chest when I read that. Jordan Catalano can’t be 42. Tino can, I guess.
Winner: Jared Leto
T: I’m gonna say it: I do not get Jim Carrey. I don’t think he’s funny. At all. #Oscars
M: Yeah. Whenever he does one of his bits I’m like “oh, so you’re going to move your face all weird again? That’s it?” And yeah, that was actually it.
T: WERK, KERRY. I just am so in awe of her. Basically get me in a room with like, Kerry, Lupita and Poehler, and I might actually die. My life would end.
T: I think Pharrell’s performance of Happy is the first time a singer has told the Oscars audience to ‘get up outta their seats’. Or Did Three Six Mafia do that when they won their Oscar for IT’s Hard Out Here for a Pimp?
M: You know, you might be right – I had thought they directed the crowd to put their hands in the air, but I believe it WAS ‘get up outta your seat.’
Well, Pharrell, I’m sold. After that, I DO feel like happiness is the truth. To recap: Pharrell wore his patented track jacket and Canadian mountie hat, and danced with our fake BFFs Lupita, Jennifer and Amy, backed up by adorable dancing people.
Naomi Watts is presenting the costume design award, looking a million times more beautiful than whatever bride is wearing the same dress as her this weekend.
Best Costume Design:
American Hustle
The Grandmaster
The Great Gatsby
The Invisible Woman
12 Years a Slave
Molly’s pick: American Hustle… or Great Gatsby… what the heck is The Grandmaster???
Traci’s pick: The Great Gatsby, mainly because i loved all the Baz Luhrman-esque visuals in the movie, and because the costume designer is Catherine Martin (Baz’s wife) two-time Oscar winner and all around talented woman.
Winner: The Great Gatsby
M: YAYYY! I thought the winner was more likely to be American Hustle, but I wanted it to be Gatsby. I have a serious thing for 20s fashion. If any of you get a chance and haven’t seen it yet, check out the making of features on the DVD for more info about all that went into the costuming, especially for the party scenes.
Harrison Ford, I’m telling you the same thing I told Will Smith about pierced ears. However, is it just me or does he get more and more attractive with time? I mean, Harrison Ford could be drooling in a wheelchair at age 107 and I’d probably be like yeah… I’d hit it.
T: “Ladies and gentleman of Dolby Theatre, please give a warm welcome to Channing Tatum” why a particular warm welcome to Channing, Oscars announcer?
T: Oh yes, there is already a GIF of Lupita & Meryl dancing with Pharrell.
M: You know how they say you should draw a smiley face on a piece of paper and looking at it makes you smile even if you feel crummy? If not, now you do. Well,that gif really has the same effect.
Best Animated Feature Film
The Croods
Despicable Me 2
Ernest & Celestine
Frozen
The Wind Rises
Molly’s pick: Frozen
Traci’s pick: Frozen
Winner: Frozen
T: I’m not lying when I say I have listened to Love is an Open Door & For the First Time in Forever on repeat, in my car at full blast – SINGING at full blast – down Hollywood and Highland where the Oscars are right now. I HAVE NO SHAME. I’M 28 YEARS OLD AND HAVE NO SHAME.
M: The Frozen soundtrack was somehow specially formulated to be THE perfect car singing experience. I think someone heard me singing in a parking lot a few days ago. Granted, it wasn’t Frozen, but it WAS Funky Cold Medina, so I am also shameless.
M: I missed the intro for this series of clips and now I’m grasping at what the common theme is. I was going to say movies about changes in America but then Bravehart came up. Is it “making a difference” or something?
T: WAIT GUYS. New OTP: JGL & EMWATS?? Uh if you’re not a ridiculous human being like me, I just said: ‘new favorite couple: Joseph Gordon Levitt and Emma Watson’. (Apparently I’m not the only one who thinks this) I’m gonna go relearn English.
M: Like the cursed eyes of an evil banshee, I feel like when JGL and EmWats are together I cannot look directly at them. To make them even more perfect, Emma speaks so beautifully with her RP accent that it sounds like she’s about to tell me to make a u-turn and take the next exit onto i-90.
T: They just played Good Morning, Baltimore when Zef walked on stage. What, no We’re All in This Together? Or Bet on It? Come onnnn Academy.
M: Karen O has positively not aged since the 90s. I forgot how much I loved this song in Her. Speaking of Her, it was the most oddly affecting film I’ve seen in a while. When Amy Adams said that line about how we’re only here briefly and so she wants to allow herself joy, I was like that’s it. I’m done.
M: Hey, short films. Come back when you’re regular-sized films. I don’t have time for this.
OH. Never mind. I’m an ass. The documentary about that woman who was the oldest Holocaust survivor and played the piano beautifully just won. I love her so much. She passed away last week and it’s sad she missed this but I’m sure she didn’t care too much about this award anyway.
OK, time to be a little less kind: Whoopi Goldberg what are you wearing? It looks like a white button-up with black crop-top over it and a Duggar lady skirt.
Ellen just offered to buy pizza for the audience. The only women who raised their hands were pregnant.
In the span of about 5 seconds I saw John Stamos, Whoopi Goldberg and Calista Flockhart. Did we all time travel to 1997?
T: Uh does anyone else feel like the cameras are too close to the presenters? Pretty sure I saw up Bradley Cooper’s nose right now.
M: Oooh. Yes. This guy who just won – I could tell you more about his pores than I think his dermatologist could.
T: Oh goddddd. Darlene Love is singing as part of her speech. Didn’t someone else sing on stage recently?? Apparently Bill Murray loved it and stood up right away. Brad Pitt didn’t really want to stand up but he did against his will.
M: Best version of His Eye Is On The Sparrow? Still Lauryn Hill.
T: ^^ Co-sign.
T: Frank Underwood made an appearance at the Oscars and I legit stood up and clapped for Kevin Spacey. Okay, it’s also because I’ve been sitting down for too long, but I mean, the thought was there.
T: Ugh I still have residual Brad/Jen/Angelina animosity, but that was really cute when he kissed her after they showed her winning the Humanitarian award. I want so much to dislike you.
M: I remember a period in 2006 or so when my sister-in-law had a stack of US Weekly mags, and every single one had a split cover of Angelina and Jen, with one of them looking more or less menacing or unattractive based on what the story was about.
M: Brad Pitt clearly sprang for the BIG bottle of L.A. Looks before tonight’s show. As did most of U2, as it turns out.
M: A PSA to everybody over the age of 45: Just saying the word “selfie” or taking a selfie, isn’t a joke. Try harder. That massive group photo they took of half of Hollywood qualifies as trying hard enough.
T: I cannot. I CANNOT. Meryl just said, “OOOHH I’ve never tweeted before!” Retweeting that shit so much.
T: ALSO NEW NEW OTP: KBELL AND VINCE. Again for regular human beings: New favorite potential romance, Kristen Bell and Michael B. Jordan. Or I mean, Michael B. Jordan with me, really.
M: Unfortunately, Kristen Bell is already attached to Dax Shepard and Michael B. Jordan is already attached to me.
NOTE TO READERS: The above comments were written simultaneously. And while we’re the type of friends who never fight, we may have to come to blows over this one.
T: I’m not afraid to fight you, Dougherty. I am Unagi.
M: I’m fairly certain that if one of us will forfeit Vince and one of us will forfeit Riggins we can solve this amicably.
T: Fair enough. Fun with Friday Night Lights ‘romances that will never happen’
M: Goes without saying we couldn’t get through this without referencing FNL and Full House, so far. There will be more.
ICYMI: Gravity just won every technical type award there is because it’s movie about outer space.
T: I’m about to vomit I’m so nervous. #COMEONLUPITA Also worth nothing: that’s her brother with her and you should watch her interview with Fallon about how excited he was about her Oscar nom.
M: My heart is all fluttery. And that video was the cutest.
Best Supporting Actress:
Sally Hawkins, Blue Jasmine
Jennifer Lawrence, American Hustle
Lupita Nyong’o, 12 Years a Slave
Julia Roberts, August: Osage County
June Squibb, Nebraska
Molly’s pick: Lupita Nyong’o (is it even a question?)
Traci’s pick: Lupita Nyong’o (I just love her so much, but I also love JLaw so much. However I feel like Lupita’s performance deserves the Oscar – and her speech is for sure going to make me cry.)
Winner: Lupita Nyong’o
M: Lupita will never get to the stage because everyone wants to hug her.
T: I mean Liza went in for a hug. LIZA FRIGGIN MINELLI.
Also, I’m crying. Like I have multiple tissues around my person. I’m just so in awe of her.
M: I always get cold chills when I’m emotional and right now my hands feel like ice. It’s just – obviously that was a perfect performance. But also, we don’t have anyone like her in Hollywood. It’s like she’s an Audrey Hepburn in a world full of Tori Spellings.
T: YES. Best metaphor of the night.
M: OH, thank heavens. The pizza is here. I would 100% be the person to eat 3 slices — and drop 2 of them on my lap. This is why I cant go to nice things.
T: Can Ellen tweet pix of celebs eating said pizza? I refuse to believe Meryl straight up ate that with her white dress. Like I’m hoping she put a napkin bib on.
M: I know, they should have handed out those ponchos you get at Niagara falls. Or those sort of demeaning lobster bibs, at least.
Anna Kendrick and Gabourey Sidibe just came out to a orchestral version of Cups. They didn’t get any jokes, but maybe that’s for the best because Awards Show category introductions are not really funny. But I bet their backstage banter was hilarious.
T: Okay now that Pink is going all Judy on us, I’m thinking Bette Midler is going to do the In Memoriam. Take a shot if she does ‘Wind Beneath My Wings’. Actually swig the whole bottle because you’re gonna need it to get through the song. Although Lady Gaga is there too…Slow acoustic version of Poker Face?
M: My nightmare funeral (like, of myself) would be Wind Beneath My Wings, followed by that stupid song about Eagle’s wings, followed probably by like waking up in my coffin but being unable to move or speak. Mostly the Wind Beneath My Wings part.
^the ONLY acceptable version of Wind Beneath My Wings^
Just so you know, I have no intention of being okay when Shirley Temple comes on the screen.
All right. Pink’s song ended and she never flipped around on circus wires. I feel cheated.
T: Whoa hello fringe on Jennifer Garner.
M: Yeah, I suppose I have to wait until tomorrow for some commentator to tell me whether I like it. She clearly wore that frock in anticipation of Gatsby winning the award.
Gatsby just won for production design. I was really excited for Gatsby but it didn’t get awesome reviews, so I’m glad it won a few Oscars. But as I said on the blog this week, the production design of Her was awesome, too.
T: Agreed. I really liked the movie. The Great Gatsby was one of my fave required reading books in high school, and I thought Baz did a really good jobwith it.
M: YES. I got really annoyed when people made it sound like if you enjoyed the Luhrmann version of Gasby, it was because you needed the story to be modernized and didn’t understand the book. Ugh whatever. I went on a huge Lost Generation reading binge a while back, and I’m still waiting for the film adaptation of This Side of Paradise.
[#Nerds]
A local commercial just featured a woman karaoke-singing the song Umbrella, but changing it to mozzarella. I hoped it was a parody of a bad local commercial, but it was real. This is my real life now.
T: In Memorium: Wait, so no one’s going to sing during this?
M: This is the score from a movie. I’m pretty sure. But which one? [Update: It was Somewhere In Time, which I love in an unashamed schmaltzy romantic way.] And what’s the point of Bette Midler, now?
[Bette Midler, in all her glory, enters and begins caterwauling that song from Beaches]
T: OH MY GOD OH MY GOD OH MY GODDDDDDDDD
M: STOPPPPPPPP.
T: I’M CRYING BECAUSE I CAN’T BELIEVE IT CAME TRUE *insert emoji with laughing/crying smiley face* Also props to Oscars producer for picking a really current song for this.
She just did wing motions. I expect a gif of this too. She’s giving so much drama. The gays are probably going insane rn. SHE IS WAVING GOODBYE. NO. Is anyone inthe audience actually crying? No. Because it felt too forced. Bye, gurl.
lit’rally got this gif from the Logo TV tumblr…
M: I don’t like this. I don’t LIKE it.
Screw this I want a giant screen of Shirley Temple and Bojangle dancing.
Next year I want the outdated song choice to be “Everybody Hurts.” Just really sock everybody straight in their feelings.
T: Wait… did John Travolta just have a stroke? Did he say ‘EYE-dinah Mah-ZEEL’????
Uh, relatedly, Idina Menzel looks gorge. Maureen cleans up nicely.
Wait but i’m dying because everyone on twitter is writing different spellings of what they think they heard Mr. Scientology say. “Adelle Azeem’ ‘Adele Dazeem’ ‘Adele Dazi’ ‘Adilla Mizzine’ seriously crying laughing.
ALSO DID HE HAVE A STROKE THO? BECAUSE REMEMBER THAT NEWSCASTER WHO EVERYONE MADE FUN OF BECAUSE SHE SAID EVERYTHING WRONG AND IT TURNED OUT SHE ACTUALLY HAD A STROKE (oh she had a complex migraine)
M: Kind of disappointed she didn’t ask us to moo with her.
(Gorgeous, flawless singer, etc).
Adala Damzil? I believe we’re being what Xenu calls “suppressive persons.”
Best Original Score:
The Book Thief
Gravity
Her
Philomena
Saving Mr. Banks
Molly’s pick: Her
Traci’s pick: Gravity
Winner: Gravity
Best Original Song:
Alone Yet Not Alone (from Alone Yet Not Alone )
Happy (from Despicable Me 2 )
Let It Go (from Frozen )
The Moon Song (from Her )
Ordinary Love (from Mandela: Long
Walk to Freedom )
Molly’s Pick: Let It Go
Traci’s Pick: Ordinary Love
Winner: Let It Go
T: Yooooo Robert Lopez just EGOT-ed!!!!! Like a guerrilla EGOT! I love it!
M: I LOVE these two. Wait.. those two have children with each other??
T: Haha yes! I originally thought they were siblings for some reason. Not the case.
M: I think I just assume that no straight man has skin that pretty until I get confirmation to the contrary.
Anyway, they’re cuties and I’m jealous of their kids. My parents’ version of making up songs inspired by me was inserting the name “Molly” in the place of words that rhyme with Molly. Or singing the songs they’d made up for my sister 8 years before because what’s the difference?
M: They couldn’t have done it without Udyll Nassim.
Hey have you guys noticed that no one has been booted off the stage with music yet? I thought for sure they were going to do that with Jared earlier. Good choice, producers.
Best Adapted Screenplay:
Before Midnight – Richard Linklater, Julie Delpy, Ethan Hawke
Captain Phillips – Billy Ray
Philomena – Steve Coogan, Jeff Pope
12 Years a Slave – John Ridley
The Wolf of Wall Street – Terence Winter
Molly’s pick: 12 Years a Slave
Traci’s pick: 12 Years a Slave
Winner: 12 Years A Slave
M: Every time Penelope Cruz says “screenplay” it sounds to me like she’ saying “screempling.”
T: Important: John Ridley used to be a writer on Fresh Prince of Bel Air, Third Watch and Martin. ALSO he wrote Undercover Brother. Kids, you too can go on to win an Oscar if you have humble beginnings at a beloved 90s sitcom.
M: BEST trivia of the night re: Fresh Prince. That show was really well-written, though. Wonder what the writers of Hangin With Mr. Cooper are up to? Or Step By Step.
Best Original Screenplay:
American Hustle – Eric Warren Singer and David O. Russell
Blue Jasmine – Woody Allen
Dallas Buyers Club – Craig Borten &
Melisa Wallack
Her – Spike Jonze
Nebraska – Bob Nelson
Molly’s Pick: Her
Traci’s pick: American Hustle
Winner: Her
M: Spike Jonze never looks how I think he looks. (How I think he looks is Spike Lee).
T: Look at Lupita in her ‘Nairobi’ gown with her Oscar sitting on her lap. The best thing I’ve seen all day.
M: I just love her brother. I know we’ve said that but it bears repeating. I’m sort of lukewarm on Angelina Jolie, but it doesn’t get better than Sidney Poitier.
Best Director:
David O. Russell, American Hustle
Alfonso Cuaron, Gravity
Alexander Payne, Nebraska
Steve McQueen, 12 Years a Slave
Martin Scorsese, The Wolf of Wall Street
Molly’s Pick: David O. Russell
Traci’s Pick: Alfonso Cuaron
Winner: Alfonso Cuaron
T: Oh bless, Sidney P, but this is the Oscars. We’re already on a time crunch here.
Oh… hi Jonas Cuaron. HOLA SENOR. I could also listen to Alfonso speak all day. Molly can you translate what he said? I got ‘This is for you’ and ‘I love you’
M: Yes! So I understood everything (Look, I majored in Spanish and spent 5 months in Spain, it would be embarrassing if I didn’t) — yet I’ve already forgotten what he said. That’s how long this show has gone on. I’ll find the video later and translate it for anyone who’s curious.
We all know Cuaron from Y Tu Mama Tambien, but one of my favorites is A Little Princess. I’m not even kidding. That film was gorgeous.
Best Actress:
Amy Adams, American Hustle
Cate Blanchett, Blue Jasmine
Sandra Bullock, Gravity
Judi Dench, Philomena
Meryl Streep, August: Osage County
Molly’s pick: Cate Blanchett
Traci’s pick: Cate Blanchett
Winner: Cate Blanchett
M: Did you see Blue Jasmine? I didn’t…
T: I saw Blue Jasmine – don’t. Cate Blanchett was lit’rally the best thing about the movie. There was no (good) plot. Also, I was worried for a second that Meryl was going to pull a surprise win. HashtagSuckIt.
M: Well, count me among those who didn’t know I loved Cate Blanchett, only to learn that I love Cate Blanchett. What a gem.
T: Unrelated: You know who’s the real winner of the Oscars? The pizza delivery guy from Big Mama’s and Papa’s Pizzeria who had no idea he was going to be giving pies to Hollywood A-listers tonight.
T: Oh we’re back at the Church of McConaughey. He did this at the SAGs too. Did anyone else notice Camila Alves just kissed her mother-in-law’s hand and it was the most precious. I approve of this couple and this family. Another thing of note: JLaw making friends with the girl who accompanies the celebs on stage?
M: I was looking at that girl trying to figure out if I knew who she was!
M: Pastor Matt, my alarm goes off in five and a half hours.
Best Picture:
American Hustle
Captain Phillips
Dallas Buyers Club
Gravity
Her
Nebraska
Philomena
12 Years a Slave
The Wolf of Wall Street
Molly’s Pick: 12 Years A Slave
Traci’s pick: 12 Years a Slave
Winner: 12 Years A Slave
T: There was literally a timpani drum roll before Will said the winner. WAIT JOHN RIDLEY – WILL SMITH – FRESH PRINCE OF BEL AIR Y’ALL
But really, I’m so happy that 12 Years a Slave won.
M: Me too! Good work, Academy. There were a lot of great nominees this year, but 12 Years A Slave deserved it the most. Also how cute was that cast on stage?
T: Yes! The jumping up and down! They are sooo gonna rage tonight.
M: Cannot wait to see pictures from the parties.
OK, everyone, that’s it! It’s been a great … what is it now? 5 hours? Yeah. Good night, everyone!
Even before I wore glasses, I was a glasses person. As in, during my second grade eye exam, I tried to fudge the results so I could get a pair [word to the wise: they can tell when you do that]. So, when years of higher education and internet addiction finally caught up with me, I wasn’t too bummed that I finally needed a prescription. Far from the dorky glasses stereotypes, I’ve found that I get more compliments on days when I wear my glasses. This just confirmed what I already knew — some people just look better in glasses.
Take, for instance, the following celebrities. They all look great with two eyes, but even better with four. For our fellow glasses-wearers, we’re also including our picks for which frames we’d recommend to our favorite bespectacled celebs – or just those of us who would like to look like them.
Glasses are a staple in Zooey’s adorkable persona, and with her quirky, old-school sense of style we think she’d look awesome in these fun, colorful frames.
The petroleum industry owes Tina Fey a lot of money, because demand for plastic probably increased like crazy after she started wearing her black frames behind the Update desk. We’re sticking with her slight cat’s eye shape, but switching to a bolder color that we don’t think is too over-the-top for a no-nonsense funny lady.
Rashida really has fun with her glasses – she’s even been seen in some awesome clear plastic frames – but if you like her slim black frames, this is what we suggest. You still get the feel of the ever-popular chunky black frame, but in a size that won’t overwhelm smaller features.
How great are Hilary’s bold tortoiseshell frames? I think tortoiseshell looks great on everyone, but as a pale redhead I especially appreciate how the lighter tones are more forgiving on my complexion. Like Hilary’s glasses, these ones have an exaggerated tortoise pattern for those of you who want marbled frames but don’t want to look like your grandpa.
If you have a narrower face like Andy, you may be tempted to go for teeny-tiny frames, but you actually have a great face to show off oversized, 70s-throwback specs.
See how these glasses have rectangular lenses and a slightly triangular nose? This is a great way to add some angularity to softer features without going all the way to being like “hey, I’m wearing shapes.”
So, I do realize that Christina Hendricks and Joan Holloway-Harris (-Holloway again?) are two totally different people. Still, it’s hard to picture her in anything other than 60s style. For Christina, we’d go with frames with a 60s vibe (the slightly upturned corners) and a modern twist (an unexpected dipped bridge). We’re keeping her in multicolored frames (albeit subtle ones) – once again, a non-solid color is worth a try if you’re fair-skinned.
Of course, we couldn’t let the post go by without some gratuitous photos of our favorite glasses-wearing guys. We don’t really have any suggestions for these gents, except possibly that they wear their glasses more:
Justin Timberlake
Donald Glover
Matt Bomer
Anderson Cooper
[If you’re glasses shopping, we’ve made it easy – our recommendations all come from Warby Parker’s Spring 2014 and Palm Canyon Collections.]
The 2014 Olympics are in full gear and athletes are already nabbing medals on the podium. But what gets these sportsmen/women pumped before they compete? In 2008, when Michael Phelps was in his prime in Beijing, he was seen listening to something on his iPod, headphones glued to his ears and there was one question on my mind: WHAT THE HELL WAS HE LISTENING TO?
I wasn’t the one wondering, the reporters at NBC were wondering too, and apparently the answer is a lot of techno and rap (Lil Wayne). Even Bob Costas said one of the rules to living life during the Olympics in ’08 was “Crank up your iPod and listen to anything Michael Phelps listens to.”
Michael Phelps chose techno/dance and rap to get pumped, and in the 1990s so did the folks who compiled the popular Jock Jams CDs.
I’m assuming none of the athletes are listening to ‘I Like To Move It’ or ‘ ‘Tubthumping’ in 2014 (although after the techno soundtrack at the opening ceremony, maybe they are), here are a few of our suggestions for a new Jock Jams compilation for 2014.
This track says it all in the title: H.A.M. = Hard as a Motherfucker. Go big or go home, guys.
Live It Up by Jennifer Lopez & Pitbull
So as previously mentioned, Jock Jams was a mix of techno, rap, dance, and pop. For me to excited, I also like listening to a song that makes me feel good and happy and positive, and that’s how I feel about this song. Like, how can you not want to dance to this?
Wings by Little Mix
Along the same lines as upbeat, fun songs, I present you with Wings. This was a mild hit over the past year, by Little Mix who won The X Factor over in the UK. You may also know member Perrie Edwards as ‘the girl who stole Zayn Malik’s heart and ruined Directioners everywhere’. Anyways, this song is great and so are they.
Let’s Go by Ne-Yo & Calvin Harris
The lyrics are literally, ‘Let’s go, make no excuses now, your time is running out.’ Olympians, you’ve been training all your lives for this moment. Don’t screw it up.
Work Bitch by Britney Spears
You better.
Molly’s Picks
Shawty Get Loose – Lil Mama
In case you haven’t noticed, we like techno, hip hop, and pop for our jock jams. This track combines all three – and who could forget Lil Mama’s star turn in that TLC tv movie?
The New Workout Plan – Kanye West
Say what you will about Kanye, this song gets you moving.
The Anthem – Pitbull ft. Little John
I think the double Pitbull on this list just highlights how suited he is to the Jock Jam genre.
Je Veux Te Voir – Yelle
The fact that the music vid features gym equipment and 80s aerobic fashions says it all. Nothing like a good smack-talk song for motivation, right?
Get Me Bodied – Beyoncé
Beyoncé isn’t just the queen of everything (so much so that WordPress automatically adds the accent to her name), she’s the great motivator. A Beyoncé song on my iPhone takes my regular elliptical and weights routine and makes me feel like ‘hey, maybe I could be an Olympian or something.’ Like all great Olympians, B is a team player — this track features her Destiny’s Child friends and her sister Solange.
It’s finally here – the opening ceremony of the 2014 Winter Olympic Games! As two Olympics-obsessed bloggers, we could not let the occasion go by without a live blog. Join us at 7:30 EST for what is promised to be a magical journey through 1000 years of Russian history, followed by athletic people walking in stupid national outfits.
This live blog will have everything you could possibly want, from Hunger Games analogies, to a Spot The Gay Propaganda contest, to fun facts about your favorite and not-so-favorite athletes — so do yourself a favor and come back tonight! And be sure to follow us on Twitter during the ceremonies – @cookiessangria – for all the snark and fangirling that we can fit into 140 or fewer characters.
PS: Keep refreshing this page every 5 to 10 minutes or so for live updates!
ANNNDDD WE’RE OFF!
M: We open with shots of Russia, which looks so much warmer than it is here (in upstate NY). Suck it, Russia.
Highlights: those Russian dolls, ballerinas, VODKA, some sort of marmalade, snow, giant furry hats, soldiers goose-stepping… you know, the stuff you’d expect.
A voiceover informs us that “snow has become the (something) of the young.” I obviously missed a word there but I assume that it was something like “sworn enemy” or “thorn in the side,” if my experience is worth anything.
Who knows what the skater is who “skates like her name is her destiny?” If I skated like my name was my destiny, my name would have to be something like Always Falling or maybe Dolores. (Because Dolores means ‘pains.)
After that 7-minute intro, I feel like the kid in the theater when I went to see The Lion King in 1994, who asked “is it over?” at the end of the long-ass Circle Of Life Thing, when Rafiki lifted Simba up on pride rock.
Katie Couric is freezing. Bitch, you’re from New York. Wear a coat.
T: DID A WATCH COMMERCIAL ALMOST MAKE ME CRY? LIKE AN ACTUAL COMMERCIAL SELLING AN OMEGA WATCH. Ugh, the Olympics, I can’t.
M: They’re talking to Barack Obama! Aww Bummer. Billie Jean King isn’t there because her mom isn’t well, but they do bring up our favorite feature of the US Olympic tactic: our Coalition of our Finest Gay Athletes.
Speaking of which: gay athlete dream teams. Mine would definitely have Boitano and Billie Jean King, and I think I’m going to add Abby Wambach on there, definitely Jason Collins. Greg Louganis is gay, right?
T: Re: Pres Obama’s gay athletes speech, I’m just gonna leave this here.
M: How many of those tiny American flag lapel pins do you think Obama has? Just one that he rotates a lot? Or is it like when they’d show Doug Funnie’s closet, and he has a whole drawer full of the same thing?
T: I’d like to imagine he’s akin to Doug Funnie.
“We like to smile once in a while” Barry O throwing slight shade at Russian politicians.
M: Vladimir Putin makes that Freshman Boy In The First Row Of The Football Picture face, probably. Because that’s the manliest face I can think of.
T: If you missed it last night, Bob Costas explained that he has an infection in his left eye, which is why he’s wearing his glasses.
In other news, this is why I love the internet:
M: We’re talking to Maria Sharapova, who evidently used to live in Sochi. She’s revisiting her childhood favorites, including the Sochi Circus. I call shenanigans. Nobody likes the circus. Particularly not this circus, which has horrible dancing clowns and bears. Amazing somebody who was exposed to such horrifying Soviet Circuses in their formative years would grow up to be so normal with such a cute sweaters.
Also: “I’m going to become a roly-poly!” is my new favorite exclamation while eating some crazy sort of dinner.
Google docs just asked if by “horrifying” I meant “terrifying.” I MEANT WHAT I MEANT GOOGLE.
M: Gracie Gold was just interviewed. She looks like a porcelain doll.
T: J.R. CELSKIIIIIIIIIII MY BOY!!!!! FILIPINO PRYDE Y’ALL!!!
OK, He’s like tooooo young, but still so cute!
M: Is he the one they just called the “new Apolo Anton Ohno?” Because our 15-year-old selves might have a thing or to to say about that. [Readers: we had weird crushes on AAO during the Salt Lake City games, during an era when we were probably supposed to be into Justin Guarini or Aaron Carter.]
T: Yes, Yes he is. I wouldn’t say our AAO crushes were ‘weird’ PER SE. But I will share this excerpt from my LIVEJOURNAL of a brief convo Molly & I had on AIM around the ‘02 Olympics/AAO Fever.
M: Hey, as long as what you’re sharing isn’t a photo of us in the early 2000s, playing MASH in study hall with AAO as the ‘husband,’ that’s cool.
OH HEYY now you can all go back in time and instant message me on AIM!
T: Also: NEVER FORGET. AAO 4EVER IN OUR HEARTS
M: Speak of the ANGEL, AAO is a correspondent. He looks remarkably smooth faced. Was that creepy of me? Whatever. The soul patch is still there, though. The only thing worse than that facial hair configuration is the fact that it’s called a ‘soul patch.’’
ok this opening video with the creepy girl:
0:03 The montage opens with a small child, because every Olympics ever (well, London, Beijing, Sydney, off the top of my head) does that. It’s to remind us of a time when there was hope for the future, meaning that our chances of being an elite athlete hadn’t been dashed yet. By the age of 10 or so, it’s probably too late. Well, except with curling.
0:21 Oh no. They just mentioned the ABCs. Please tell me they’re not doing all of them?? How many letters does the Cyrillic alphabet have? Probably too many.
I was promised the history of Russia, so I’m waiting for the part when Rasputin does sketchy things with the Romanovs then turns into a bat (I last saw the Anastasia movie like 15 years ago, ok?), and also the Cold War. Oooh. I wonder how they’ll do Cold War? The Bolshevik revolution will be pretty cool, I bet.
Unless you’re royalty, of course.
0:31 Going from context clues here… is bychal water? Because hate to break it to you, Russia, but we have water.
0:44 RASPUTIN!!! … No. Wait. That was Dostoyevsky. Potato, Potahto. Same beard.
Old Russia wasn’t real big on beard conditioners I guess. That frizz.
0:55 Hedgehog in the Fog, in case you’re wondering, is a weirdly beautiful animated movie that was used to terrify small Soviet children.
Meanwhile in North America, children watch, like, Caillou and stuff.
CORN MOVING MACHINE? You’re reaching, Sochi.
RUSSIAN EMPIRE? Guys. One of your “things about Russia” can’t be Russia. Try again.
Also, does anyone know how far we are into the alphabet now? All of the letters look like drunk versions of letters I already know, so I don’t really have a handle on it.
1:20 Ahh, Kandinsky. You may know him from that one poster everyone had in their freshman year dorm. Not the black and white one with two girls making out. The other one.
1:41 Nabokov. Actually, let’s talk about Nabokov for a second. He’s probably one of my favorite writers, but there’s something a little unsettling about a prepubescent girl mentioning the author of Lolita, no? Also, “gay propaganda” (read: non-negative mentions of gay people) is outlawed, but the guy who brought us Humbert Humbert is one of the top 26-ish things about your country?
[Before anyone complains, I totally understand that Lolita doesn’t sanction pedophilia and I think it’s among the most influential fiction of the 20th century… but seriously Russia?]
1:55 They just did “space station,” which is about the 5th space thing we’ve done. We get it, Russia. You win. You win the Space Race. But that was 60 years ago, and now the medal race is on, bitches!
However: I do see how Russia dealt with the Cold War now. Good work, fellas.
2:00 SPUTNIK. Okay, guys.
2:05 Khokhloma – going on context, is it flower-print fabric? The -oma ending makes me think it may be some sort of cancer. I’m terribly sorry, Russia. You have khokhloma.
2:45 I truly and completely thought that Chagall was French. Ugh. Someone take me to a museum.
3:01 Nice little Ruslan and Ludmila reference there with the cat for Pushkin. Are we already past the part of the alphabet that has those nesting dolls or fancy eggs? Because those are two of my favorite stereotypical Russian things.
BRILLIANT.
3:11 LOVE? We have that too, Russia. That’s not a Russian thing. What is a Russian thing, though, is the mushroom cloud they use to illustrate love. Is that what Russian valentines are like? “You must be Chernobyl, because you catalyzed a policy of glasnost in my heart.” Also by my counts, Russia only acknowledges like … 75, 80% of love? Not a good enough track record to merit mention in the Olympics intro.
3:25 I’d like to point out that that was Eisenstein, the Russian director, that they just named, not Einstein, the German physicist. I see what you tried to do there, Russia.
3:37 And the last thing in the Russian alphabet is Russia! There are children wearing t-shirts spelling out Russia. Hope they’re standing in the right order.
M: This little girl is a “fearless acrobat.” No shit. She is flying through the air. The competitions haven’t started yet, but I think I have my Olympic hero.
We’re still at the “volcano and a lone horse” part of Russia’s history” so I think we have a while to get to the Space Race and stuff.
And does anyone remember the London opening ceremony? It looked a lot like this, down to the life-sized rustic village.
T: Definitely. Less ice, more grass.
Ok so I was briefly doing some research on the opening ceremony before our liveblog and this epic fail came up everywhere. Kinda wish I wasn’t spoiled for that but LOLZ to the max IRL.
“They waited for seven long years and this is what they’ve been waiting for this is where the olympics belong… This is what happens when youre this ambitious in a show like this.” THE SHADE MATT LAUER THE SHADE
M: Matt Lauer didn’t even TRY. Somebody’s still mad that he had to hide under his desk during nuclear bomb drills in grammar school. THANKS RUSSIA.
Also, these rings, even the ones that did open, look like those fake tattoo chokers/armbands that you could buy at The Icing or in vending machines in the early 2000s.
M Vladimir Putin looks a lot less manly when he’s wearing an overcoat and isn’t wrestling a rabid bear or whatever.
Is this the Russian national anthem? It’s been going on for like 10 minutes. I’ve been making up fake lyrics and singing along. Sample lyrics: “inside my staaacking dolls my vodka is theeere/ I drink it, I drink it, / I’m COLD!” Clearly I don’t remember much about Russia from all those Poli Sci courses.
T: Did that go on like a tad too long? Our National Anthem is like a minute long. that doll stacking song was approx 10. (okay, like 5)
M: Lauer just promised “Razmatazz”. Gay propaganda alert! By the way, we’ll be documenting instances of Gay Propaganda as they occur. Nice try, Russia. But congrats on all the Space you’ve been doing.
So, the athletes are entering in Cyrillic Alphabetical Order.
T: I’m loving this technology that makes it look like the athletes are coming out of their country from a projected map on the floor. HOWEVER, I feel like this is going to make the country intros very long…
T: What in the actual fuck are those lady volunteers holding the country names wearing? LADY GAGA??? GAY PROPAGANDA.
M: They’re obviously the Capitol residents of this Hunger Games.
Why hasn’t Andorra won an Olympic medal yet? Their knit woolens look so cozy and winter-y!
M: Let’s talk about all this techno for a second. I don’t think techno is a term any more. It’s like when old ladies call tv shows “programs” or “stories.” So this “house music,” whatever.
WAIT. Instead let’s talk about Bermuda’s bermuda shorts and knee socks. Brrrrr.
T: Is it embar that it didn’t occur to me until now that the country of Bermuda was the namesake/inspiration for BERMUDA SHORTS. Ugh.
M: Nope. Just occurred to me as well. Literally thought “why are they wearing Bavarian short pants?”
M: Hey, everyone. How’s your self-esteem? Pretty good? You feel like an okay, human-looking person? Well don’t look at the Brazil coalition, then. Damn Brazil. Their country’s main export is Leonardo DiCaprio’s girlfriends.
T: Oh Venezuelan flag holder is NOT kidding around and he is literally jumping around waving the flag. You do you, Venzeuela.
M: He’s like the Roberto Benigni of flag wavers.
Life IS Beautiful, y’all.
M: Germany. GAY PROPAGANDA. Their uniform is a rainbow.
T: And Meredith Veira REALLY wants you to know that. NOT gay propaganda (probs gay propaganda)
M: I realize I probably called Meredith Veira Katie Couric earlier. In my defense, white ladies all look the same.
T: “If you’re asking yourself, ‘Are there any athletes competing from Staten Island, New York?’
NO ONE WAS WONDERING THAT, MATT LAUER. NO ONE IS EVER WONDERING THAT.
M: Also Matt Lauer, I think that the Israel people can stand near the Iran people. We’re all grownups here, it’s not like Israel stole Iran’s prom date and now they’re both invited to a mutual friend’s Sweet 16.
IRELAND. Step up your game. It’s called the emerald isle, not the baby-poop-green isle.
T: Are we to assume all Spainards are in Gryffindor, per their uniforms?
M: Yes, Spaniards are automatically sorted into Gryffindor.
M: And is it just me, or is Russia trying its hardest to make its image be “country run entirely by Slytherins?” I know you’re not all like that, Russia. Let your Hufflepuff out.
M: Aww Canada. Look at your toggle coats and toques. Makes me want to get a double-double from Timmy Ho’s and watch a Leafs game. (Hi, I basically live in Canada).
T: Legit said, ‘WHOA’ outloud when I saw a sea of Canadians. Robin Sparkles would be so proud.
M: In case you missed it, there are three French-Canadian sisters competing in skiing (or something like that) and I’ve basically decided that they’re the Haim of winter sports.
M: Latvia = Hufflepuff. There we go.
T: All we need are the Ravenclaws.
M: Greece? But no. Their shade of blue isn’t studious enough.
I’m sure everyone watching has already noticed this, but there’s a crawl along the bottom of the screen that shows you what countries are coming up so you know whether you have time to go get a snack or use the bathroom. I just noticed it.
M: “It’s a good time to bring Apolo Ohno back in” —> First smart thing Matt Lauer has said all night.
M: Mexico’s flag guy is, among other things, a pop singer known as “Andy Himalaya.” THAT WAS A TRUE THING THEY JUST SAID. He hung out with Andy Warhol.
T: That’s like Hannah Montana shit right there. Or more like if Cher decided to compete in the Olympics in like… lip-syncing and woman who most looks like a drag queen competitions.
M: I just decided my Andy Himalaya/ Hannah Montana name is going to be Molly Malawi. Also I see what you did with the gay propaganda there.
T: The guy from Nepal admitted he’s going to place last in cross country skiing… That’s the spirit!
M: Fun fact: I help teach English to a class that’s like 50% people from Nepal. Not a ONE of them gives a shit about the Olympics. Glad it goes for the athletes from there as well.
T: No. NO. Why would you ever use Sia’s Breathe Me in a commercial? I IMMEDIATELY START CRYING WHEN I HEAR THAT SONG. Thanks, Six Feet Under.
M: I was going to ask if it was for Six Feet Under reasons or just because of like, life feelings. Glad you clarified. And I agree.
T: I thought the show itself was meh, but it’s all worth it for that last like 10 minutes. And by ‘worth it’ I mean, ‘an ending that will make you cry like you’ve never cried before and think about your life and life choices and question everything’, then yeah, worth it.
M: Considering I’m the kind of person who will wake up in the morning and my first, fleeting thought will be something like “one day, me and everyone I love will grow old, if we’re lucky, and eventually nobody will know we existed”… I do NOT need to watch or think about that montage ever again. Thank God we’re back to the athletes in silly costumes and the ladies dressed like church windows carrying the country signs.
T: Matt Lauer just described the Nancy Kerrigan/Tonya Harding controversy in ‘94 “colorful”. Well that’s one way to put it.
M: Who are those two people dressed as human snowballs doing the “push it” dance? Just randos? Okay.
Poland seems to have an 11-and-a-half year old competing, judging by her braces. Ugh, youth.
M: Slovakia’s flag guy is roughly 7 feet tall. Meanwhile, my grandmother was Slovak and I’m so small that a bus driver thought I was a middle school student the other day. Not fair, but now I know which ancestors I can’t blame for my height issues.
T: Oh man I just got the chills. USA! USA! USA! I’m just gonna say it: Shaun White is hot now. The red carrot (or whatever the hell we were calling him in 2010) had the horrible hair but he looks sooo non-douchey now!
M: You can order Gracie Gold for 3 monthly payments of 39.99 from the Ashton Drake collection.
I am SO BUMMED for the girl who broke her leg yesterday, but I’m glad she made it to walk with the team. See, this is the real reason I’m not usually a huge sports person. When they showed the losing team at the end of the Superbowl, I had tears in my eyes. Basically our collective cry count for these games is going to be off the charts.
M: Anyone know who the athlete is with the enviable, Ron Swanson-y mustache? Or the lady with the Zooey Deschanel bangs? Or the one with the dip-dyed Gay Propaganda rainbow hair? This all makes me love America so much.
M: Chinese Taipei (read: Taiwan)’s uniforms are those big jackets they give you when you go on The Maid Of The Mist in Niagara Falls
T: Matt Lauer Fun Fact #205: There is no word for ‘ski’ in the Timor dialect.
M: Ukraine’s uniform looks like camo for if you were trying to hide in a field of Vera Bradley bags.
Finland is also hoping to catch a glimpse of the falls on The Maid of the Mist. Fun Fact: The Canadian side is better.
T: Go Philippines! I totally missed how many Filipino athletes there are. It’s very Cool Runnings to see them at the winter games.
M: Do you have any idea what they’re competing in? A Cool Runnings thing is possible, but I could sort of see the Philippines having like figure skating prodigies.
T: No idea. Let’s say biathalon. Or like… winter table tennis. Not a real sport.
M: Not YET. They just said those dancing snowball vest people have been dancing nonstop for the past hour. They zeroed in on one guy who looked like Rory and Lorelai Gilmore at the end of that dance marathon. Rough gig.
Matt Lauer just told us that YOLO means “ you only live once.” Shut up, Lauer.
M: Jamaican Bobsled Team!! We love them so much. I just want to give them all a hug (mostly, that one guy near the front could basically do whatever) (I mean what?).
T: ^What she said. Every word.
Okay, I’m saying it now: I want to go to Tokyo, 2020. Maybe by then I’ll be (34 YEARS OLD HOLY SHIT) and have enough funds and time off to go to Japan.
M: You know what? We’ve both been obsessed with the Olypics since like 1996. I think both of us need to make it happen at some point. By this point it’s safe to say we’ll never get there as athletes. Not that that was ever an option. I’m surprised I never failed gym.
ICYMI, the Russian men are wearing these light blue shearling-lined jackets with red slacks. I like it. The Russian women are dressed like Santa Clauses.
M: Now they’re doing the history of Russia thing. Really good production values. We’ve seen some Jesus-looking people, villagers, now we’re in powdered wig times. And we skipped right to some clean-cut Bolsheviks. Didn’t really get into that messy Romanov stuff. Basically bypassed World War II and the yuckier parts of the Soviet era. Saw some guys building bridges. And here we are today.
T: Apparently all (if not most) of these actors in the History of Russia video are super popular actors in the country. Can we just have the Games back in the U.S. so I can see a montage of Poehler as Martha Washington, Idris Elba as MLK Jr., Bryan Cranston as Walter White??
M: Tina Fey as Betsy Ross, Jennifer Lawrence as Eleanor Roosevelt, Oprah as herself…
T: WAIT GUYS. I saw this on Tumblr earlier and did I miss it or did NBC just fail to show this?!
M: I mean… it looks like that scene from Parks and Rec when they try to walk across the ice. Why didn’t we get to hear Matt Lauer’s opinions about that?
One of the greatest moments in TV history
Our girl Elisavetta/ Lubov is back. This child is going to have weird-assed dreams for the rest of her LIFE thanks to this. As in, I still sometimes dream that I’m back in a childhood production of something like Meet Me In St Louis and have to know all of my lines from 20 years ago. Imagine these visuals all up in your subconscious.
M: I cannot deal with this ship on the ocean thing that’s projected on the floor. It looks like a beautiful woodcut illustration. Okay, Russia. Good work.
There’s more goose-stepping, so if you’re drinking when you see a Russian stereotype you can go ahead.
T: The projections are so good I didn’t know if this Russian army of fake band players was real or not.
M: Now you have me wondering if everything has been a projection. It’s like the first Olympic games to take place in the Matrix.
T: THE PERSON WHO DESIGNED THE COSTUMES FOR THE MATRIX DESIGNED THE COSTUMES FOR THIS BALLET PORTION.
M: Consider my mind blown! This segment is probably a big part of my Olympics love. It’s technically a sports event, but I get to watch ballet and such. This War and Peace segment is just beyond.
M: And Russia REALLY out-Russias itself, with an ominous depiction of a “propaganda train,” which travelled delivering Bolshevik literature to peasants. Maybe Russia is a lot better than the U.S. at acknowledging ugly parts of their history? I mean we held our Olympics in ATLANTA for goodness sake, and I think our presentation of U.S. history was just like “we had an awesome revolution, and then we had some westward expansion, and now we’re AMERICA!”
[Obvi there are pros and cons of the changes wrought by the Bolshevik revolution but this is mostly a live blog with jokes and gifs, so…. that stuff is other places on the internet.]
T: I’m just thinking that that “propaganda train” is really making the Hunger Games parallel to new heights.
M: Yeah is this like a district 3 sort of thing with this manufacturing and cars and stuff? Are these Olympics the one where they make all of the old retired Olympians come back to compete?
T: Tick Tock This Arena’s a clock… (For those keeping score, we’re already mentioned Harry Potter, The Hunger Games and Roberto Benigni so far. Just to remind you what kind of blog we are.)
M: Just so we’re clear, the rush to the cauldron (it’s a cornucopia, don’t kid yourselves) is going to be BRILLIANT. My money’s still on USA but who knows, maybe Latvia’s scrappy this year.
T: Definitely sending J.R. Celski a sponsor gift…
T: You know, if Meredith, Matt, and rando guy I didn’t pay attention to who it was, weren’t telling us about the explanations of what’s happening and the history, I honestly think I’d be pretty lost. Not just for this opening ceremony, but for all across the board. Or like, just not have enough historical knowledge to understand why a giant steam train is flying in over head or why a little girl is floating in the air.
M: At the very beginning, they showed a portrait of some kind of queen, and my first thought was “hey, wasn’t she the one who died banging a horse?” so I’m right at your level. By the way, that story’s like a 300-year-old urban legend. Also, don’t Google “queen dying banging a horse”. Nothing good will come of it.
Russia has a low age of death for men, so Putin wants the birth rate to go up. Wait what? As a general rule, it’s best not to talk about a country’s official birth policies if you want them to seem all fun and charming.
Fun Fact: this Olympic chairman was born and raised in Michigan. This is just his Russian guy impression.
T: Update date on the Filipino athlete: His name is Michael Christian Martinez, he’s 17, a figure skater, and the first person to represent the Philippines since 1992!
M: Awww, he wasn’t even born then!
M: Can somebody transcribe this speech? On one hand it sounds like he’s seriously sticking it to Russia about the whole homophobia thing, but there was some nebulous wording in there. It sounds like he just said that we should not use the athletes to further our human rights agendas. He’s correct, of course. We should use them to sell shoes and cereal instead. Thank goodness we have these weird dancing jellyfish costumes now so we don’t have to think too hard.
T: I look away for like 2 minutes and suddenly it’s Finding Nemo on Ice out there.
M: Are they even dancing anymore, or just twirling around in their weird rope-light skirts?
T: Russia’s all, ‘we have your attention now. we showed you our propaganda train. we’re gonna do whatever the fuck we want now. that’s how it works in this country.’
Also, I feel like we need to pick who our potential Olympic crushes are this year. 2012 was all about Nathan Adrian:
M: How did I let myself forget about that? I’m guessing there will be some kind of muscly, attractive speed-skater? Or a skier? Sometimes the snowboarders can trend a little bro -y.
I’m sorry. Did they rent Cinderella from the Magic Kingdom of Euro Disney? Aww shoot. She’s singing that damn song.
T: But really, is this a traditional Russian ball gown? Hold up – Anastasia, she was Russian, right?
M: Yeah. RIP. (… or IS she r’ing in p?). Did Russia dress this lady like the dead Romanovs just to show that’s what they can do if they don’t like you?
This damn song. It doesn’t even have a discernible melody.
M: Yes, Russia. Yes. Congratulations on outer space.
M: On the serious, my inner six-year-old really wants these Lisa Frank jackets all of the torch passers have.
T: The fourth person to get the torch, Alina Kabaeva, is romantically linked to Putin. Please refer to the unicorn picture above for my reaction to this.
M: Whaaaat? I guess this shouldn’t be surprising.
You know, for a bunch of world-class athletes, everyone is jogging SOOOO SLOW.
T: Seriously. But also, this is why they have athletes do it. If you asked me to carry it (which, I mean I would), I’d still be near the Tron-like dancers taking my time and walking that shit at a leisurely pace.
Wasn’t there a year where there were problems with the torch lighting? Or is that just my constant fear every opening ceremony?
M: That definitely happened. Or maybe I’m thinking of the candles on most birthday cakes I’ve had instead. But I think it happened.
T: Ok there are like 10 minutes left – what happened to lesbian duo t.A.T.u??? I’ve been waiting all night to post this song that was a hit in 2002. By hit I mean, made the rounds on my mix tapes.
M: I think we have to seize the day. We have to post it now. But really, where is t.a.t.u? I saw them wearing weird plaid things on tumblr, I know they’re there.
T: Okay, apparently it’s not being aired in the U.S., only internationally. I mean come on, dozens of fans stateside are throwing their nesting dolls at the tv right now. But you can kinda watch it here.
M: Basically throwing a rotten Faberge egg at Putin right now. Or whoever is responsible for this. Was it you, Lauer? It was, wasn’t it?
On that note, Lauer’s calling it a night, Viera’s calling it a night, even Putin’s calling it a night (with his rumored paramore??), so we are too.
Thanks for joining us and keep an eye out for Olympic posts for the next couple of weeks. We’re covering a few sports and some fun other winter games-themed posts too!
Cookies + Sangria 
