Category Archives: Entertainment

The Great British Bake Off Is Pure In Heart

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Did you watch the premiere of a new season of The Great British Bake Off last night? If so, I’m horribly jealous … or I would be if jealousy didn’t run contrary to the spirit of The Great British Bake Off, a show that is at its core pleasant, gentle, soothing and entirely pure in heart.

Bake Off employs calming narration, a delicate pastel color scheme, a reliable format and real-life fairy godmother Mary Berry. It is basically like watching Mr. Rogers or Shining Time Station, but for adults. It cuts through the ugliness of reality competitions and resists cheap “extreme” challenges or manufactured rivalries. While we await the U.S. airing of series 7, let’s look at all the ways the Bake Off is the most pure and kind reality competition on television today:

Mary Berry Is Mary Poppins’ Granddaughter

In my head, Mary Berry was named after her beloved granny, Mary Poppins – because how else do you explain their shared delightful temperament, coupled with a firm instance on perfection (or practically-perfection)? Mary never met a sneaky innuendo she didn’t like, but she’s also excellent at playing the well-bred grandmother who doesn’t know what you’re all snickering at. Plus she’s a style icon to boot, always sporting a smart scarf or a well-tailored floral blazer or that one bomber jacket that sold out in a day. If you worry that getting older will make you dowdy or dull or stuck in the past, just look to Mary (age 81!) and rest assured that such a fate isn’t inevitable. And is it just me, or do her eyes actually twinkle sometimes?

Sue Perkins Is A British Rachel Maddow

I mean. Sue Perkins is her own person. But she has a quick and dry wit that’s very Rachel Maddow-without-the-politics. Or maybe the funniest NPR presenter? Just tell me that Sue Perkins doesn’t own a library tote. I’ll wait. She’s also always quick with a dad joke, which is objectively speaking the most pure-in-heart category of humor. Sue is a comedian, not a baker, so she’s really just around for the laughs – although she did make an earlier foray into food television with The Supersizers, a great program where modern people consume the typical diet of historical periods. It is funnier than it sounds.

Everyone Is Helpful

Remember that show Zoom? Whenever the kids were doing a craft or a race, all the other kids gathered around saying encouraging things. That’s basically how Great British Bake-Off Is. Contestants who are done with their bake lend a hand to fellow competitors, tell people they’re doing well, or just calm down the other bakers during their more ruffled moments. The judges and hosts offer practical advice instead of watching the contestants muddle their way into disaster. If you want to watch people be nice to each other for an hour, you’ve found the right show.

Anybody Can Bake!

Whether you’re a senior citizen or a school-aged kid, you could watch and enjoy GBBO. The field of competitors isn’t age-segregated either, and there have been bakers as young as 17 (sweet, pleasant Martha) and as old as 69. Obviously reality shows have to cast based on both talent and personality, but it’s so refreshing to see a show that doesn’t rely too heavily on the young and conventionally attractive (no worries: if you like conventionally attractive people, there are plenty). Contestants have ranged from posh, Aga-owning teen Flora to the more working class builder/dad Paul, proving that baking – and talent –  cut across all classes.

Given the events of this year, it’s also been great to see that a number of the top competitors haven’t been of British descent. It’s important for viewers to see bakers of all different backgrounds concoct some of the more traditionally British challenges – and make them better by drawing from their own influences. Where scripted television still has trouble writing roles for Muslim women that aren’t either boring and obedient at best or extremist at worst, through a reality show audiences got to meet Nadiya, full of personality and ambition. When even central and eastern European immigrants face discrimination and stereotyping, Bake Off presented us with Ugne, a shoe-loving female body builder. In a year of Brexit and Donald Trump, this is the kind of content I want on my television.

The Best Of Reality Competitions

While I’d rather focus on what Bake Off is instead of what it isn’t, we have to discuss what reality competitions can be at their worst. We’re talking about those cheap tactics that producers think are going to keep viewers tuned in – but which I’d argue are completely unnecessary (and I think the 10 million viewers tuning into the series 7 premiere last night would agree with me). Drawn-out personality clashes between competitors or judges have no place here. Neither do unnecessarily extreme challenges that you see on some other cooking competitions; why include that if these challenges are hard enough? Even the participants’ interviews are free of that reality tv posturing about being the best. Or is that just an American thing, maybe?

Instead, GBBO shows what reality tv competitions can be at their best. You have talented contestants trying their hardest, interesting challenges that actually teach us about history or travel (remember that Victorians episode?), and suspense generated naturally instead of artificial, hyped-up gimmicks.

GBBO Exists Outside Of Time

As if this show didn’t already remind me of a mature version of the public television shows of my childhood, it also seems to exist entirely outside of time. I mean, I never know when any series of The Great British Bake Off originally aired, thanks to the wonders of PBS’s screwy scheduling. It’s all clearly from at some point in the 2010s, but beyond that it’s anyone’s guess. Series 5 (UK) was Season 1 (US), and then Series 4 (UK) was Season 2 (US), and Series 6 (UK) was Season 3 (US). Don’t even try to remember which season aired first. It’s exactly like tuning into your local PBS affiliate c. 1993 and never knowing which cast of Ghostwriter you were going to get.

From Mary Berry to the tranquil pastel baking tents to the cheerful competitors, the Great British Bake Off is everything reality shows can be. If you get to watch a new series right now, enjoy! I’ll be here with my weirdly ordered PBS repeats in the meantime – not because I don’t want to jump ahead, but because watching with a torrent is NOT very pure-in-heart. Besides, I think Mary Berry would be disappointed in me, and we can’t have that.

 

 

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All The Best Uniforms At The Rio Opening Ceremonies

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It’s almost time for the Rio Opening Ceremonies, and you know what that means – costumes.

Okay, more specifically the Parade of Nations, where the athletes from the participating countries process into the arena wearing some kind of weird modern take on their national dress, like muscly Madame Alexander dolls or a sexy It’s A Small World ride.

I love it.

While a number of countries have released photos of their team uniforms – especially when there’s a high profile sponsor involved – it’s too soon to tell which looks will make the Parade of Nations. Still,here are a few to keep your eye out for:

Great Britain in Stella McCartney/ Adidas

Who’s making redcoats redder? Stella McCartney, I guess. I’m just so thrilled we can finally bring back Britain’s colonial-era nickname. The Adidas uniforms forego the typical Union Jack in favor of a coat of arms combining the thistle, rose, leek and flax, as well as a lion, the national animal of England even though England doesn’t have lions. The fabric is lightweight and there are fun leggings. The female athlete third from the right is not impressed.

I still can’t believe they make Wales be a leek. Pee-ew.

Canada in Hudson’s Bay and D-Squared

 

There are a lot of stereotypes about Canada and one of them is that Canada doesn’t really have cities. That’s why it’s so fun to see Canada go a little urban with their outfits. It’s a real mix-and-match collection combining smart jackets, jaunty track suits and even graphic tees. If I have one complaint it’s that the pants look weirdly saggy at the knee – but just look at what they’re wearing for the Opening Ceremonies:

South Korea

If I were an Olympic athlete, I would proudly compete in a prison jumpsuit or footie pajamas if it was Zika proof. Lucky for South Korea, their uniforms are fairly cute AND Zika-repellant. I like the uniforms to the right, like they’re activity leaders at a nice country club. The slim fit cropped pants are cute.

Here’s where I was going to complain about socks with boat shoes, but ZIKA. Gotta cover those ankles. Good job.

Sweden in H&M

There’s so much to love. First of all, that Sweden is wearing H&M. Second, that a relatively small(-ish) Scandinavian country can be one of the world’s biggest exporters of cool fashion and musicians. Third, these fabrics are sustainably produced and recycled. I love that there’s a fun athletic dress and the leggings and socks are just too good.

Spain

They look great – almost like street clothes but a bit more polished, with sassy scarves and tie clips. The woven belts are excellent too, and the contrasting accents on the blazers and the buttons.

I do wonder why, in a world where red and blue seem to be the most popular national colors, a country that actually has a different color scheme going for it opts for red and blue.

Italy in EA7 by Emporio Armani

Unlike Spain, I can’t even quibble that these aren’t the national colors (except for the bits of red and green on the collar) because the black and white just feels so Italian. The giant 7s are the most conspicuous branding I’ve seen so far on the team uniforms, but it also can kind of just read as some stripes maybe?

Brazil 

Say what you will about Brazil’s preparedness or suitability to host the 2016 games: there is a special place in my heart for a country that will deck men out in florals. Granted, I was even more excited when I thought that the ascot was the lining of his blazer instead.

France in Lacoste

Remember when you wouldn’t see a fashionable, city-dwelling European caught dead in athletic wear in public? The recent trend for sleek, well-designed athleisure clothing has turned that around a bit, and France’s simple and tidy look shows how well it can be done.

USA in Ralph Lauren

Not my favorites, but not horrible; these get points for the sheer American-ness of red-white-and-blue stripes and pushed up sleeves on Oxford shirts.

Australia

The word Slytherin has been thrown around a few times for these uniforms, as has “ice cream lady.” But me? I just hope they make it back to Malibu Sands in time to help Stacey Carosi’s dad out at the big volleyball tournament.

 

Most teams haven’t released photos of their uniforms yet, so tune into the Opening Ceremonies tonight to find out who the REAL best-dressed are.

 

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The Secret Service Looking Chill And Normal

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Two things I know for sure about the Secret Service:

  1. They are bound by honor and duty to take a bullet for the U.S. President. And maybe for the Vice President?
  2. When they’re ‘undercover,’ they dress like aliens who have an academic understanding of what people wear but can’t quite get there.

With the conventions and the upcoming election, we’re thinking about the presidential office even more than usual. Still, it’s important to acknowledge the unsung heroes of the Oval Office: the Secret Service, who definitely look very chill and normal.

The Secret Service at Lollapalooza

https://twitter.com/andrewgill/status/758479179834855424

Last week Malia Obama, recent high school grad and future Harvard student,  attended Lollapalooza (contrast with our summer-after-graduation activities: drinking at our friend Sarah’s house if her mom was at work and watching Laguna Beach).

Unlike most 18-year-olds, Malia was tailed by the Secret Service who – don’t worry – looked super relaxed and youthful in their matching plaid shirts and khaki pants. It’s the same chill look I wore when J. Crew was the sponsor of Dawson’s Creek – very slouchy, incredibly normal.

* These would be my favorite days if I was a Secret Service agent. Like casual Friday.

The Secret Service Shopping In Spain

For this one I imagine they sent someone ahead on a secret recon mission, who confirmed that all of the men in Spain were, for whatever reason, wearing polo shirts that week.

The Secret Service Relaxing At A B-Ball Game

I appreciate that this time they just went for dark suits, Mormon missionary standard-issue white button-downs, no tie — still their regular look, just a little loosened up.

They are also wearing the facial expressions of two aliens trying to look chill and normal at a basketball game.

The Secret Service Going For A Nice Jog

I honestly feel sorry for people too young to remember the Jogging Bill Clinton era. But not TOO sorry, since all those people have, you know, their youth still.

Anyway Slick Willy got really into jogging for a while, and it was sort of a thing on American news outlets and late night shows. If memory serves, he was trailed by a slow-moving car.

In the early 90s, workout clothes had two speeds: multi-colored matching track suits, or shorts for a baby. In this photo we can see it all. Note that here Bill is jogging with both the Secret Service AND the Japanese police, who is about to run over a small old woman.

The Secret Service Sitting Down At A Concert

Best seat at a concert: behind the secret service, who sit all the way down, ducking behind Malia Obama like a toddler being dragged to the church coffee hour with his mom.

The Secret Service Wearing Their Golf Shirts They Bought Together

“Me, Trevor and Steve all bought blue polos, you want us to grab you one?” – the Secret Service shopping group text.

The Secret Service Go Take A Hike

Back at it in those casual plaids. Hey. The Secret Service tries hard and they’re doing a good job.

*** Special Next- Day Update! ***

The Secret Service was recently spotted looking like a dads at Victoria’s Secret while awkwardly waiting for Sasha Obama to finish her shift at Nancy’s, a Martha’s Vineyard fish joint.

Let’s throw it back to some classic MV Secret Service. To their credit, they are not wearing what I imagine their Martha’s Vineyard intel would have told them was a ‘typical’ outfit:

  • GTH pants or Nantucket Reds
  • a Brooks Brothers oxford with pushed-up sleeves
  • a Black Dog hat
  • boat shoes
  • a Vineyard Vines bow tie

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I Want My MTV (Classic)!

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Yesterday, executives over at MTV decided the repeats of the Eric Clapton hour-long jam band special on VH1 Classic just wasn’t getting the ratings they were expecting, so they decided to rebrand and turn VH1 Classic into MTV Classic. Just like the regular VH1 and MTV, MTV Classic is the cooler, more hip cousin as opposed to your slightly off-colored uncle who was a diehard DeadHead back in the day.

What this rebranding means is that now millennials can watch “retro” shows from the 1990s like MTV Unplugged, Cribs, OG Road Rules and an animation block featuring the likes of Daria and Beavis and Butthead. Plus, MTV Classic promises more 90s and 00s music videos, including a TRL Retrospective, so I better be seeing more Carson Daly and Jesse Camp in my life. JK about that last one.

Growing up, I was the kid who thought watching MTV made me cool. The first season of The Real World that I ever watched was London, which aired in 1995. I was nine years old. MTV was a staple throughout my teen years, including my teenybopper days when I was legitimately named TRL Fan of the Week (Something I take pride in all my social media “about mes”).

A) this is a printed out webpage because it’s from 2002. B) the answers to all my questions are embarrassing but at this point in my life, like, who gives a shit C) lol my screen name

All this to say that MTV was as much a part of my life growing up as books I read or movies I watched, and it’ll be interesting to go back and watch these shows as an adult. Will the cast of The Real World: London look like babies to me now? Is Beavis & Butthead still as offensive and stupid as I remember it? Will I still get an unenecessary aversion to ‘N Sync’s Bye Bye Bye video because I was hardcore Team BSB (yes. the answer is yes and always yes)? Here are a few shows I hope pop up on MTV Classic moving forward – do you have ones you are DVRing too?

Making the Video

Maybe it’s because MTV doesn’t show music videos any more, but can we get new eps of Making the Video? I guess for now I settle for anything from Making the Video seasons 1 through 3, where fans were given a behind-the-scenes look of how stars like Britney, 98 Degrees, Mariah Carey and Sisqo create their TRL-worthy videos.

Diary

You think you know … but you have no idea. This the Diary of  :: insert every big MTV celeb here:: This documentary show focused on one artist for each episode, usually as they’re in the midst of doing something big like a press tour or photo shoot or releasing an album, whatnot. It’s important to remember that celebs didn’t have social media back then, so having this kind of backstage access was exclusive in the purest sense of the word. With a simple Snapchat, Demi Lovato can show you what she’s eating in her dressing room before a concert. That would’ve never happened in the 90s + 00s with Britney unless it was through a show like this. In the episode above, the late, great Aaliyah gives a glimpse of her diary, and it aired just a couple weeks before she died on August 25th, 2001.

Fear

To be honest with y’all, I maybe watched a full episode of this show then immediately called it quits. After being freaked out by the episode I watched, I maybe saw a clip here or there, and just pretended I thought it was the best show ever. *I was trying to be cool*. Fear is a reality competition show that features a group of contestants alone in a haunted location. There are no camera men, only the night vision cameras as well as some attached to them as they went on their dares. Dares, you say? Yes. Contestants spend the night, are given a dare, and if they complete it and make it to the end of two nights in the haunted location, each survivor gets a monetary prize. You couldn’t pay me enough to do this. Or maybe even to watch this again.

Singled Out

Kids, Nerdist/@ Midnight icon Chris Hardwich used to host a dating show on MTV and his eye candy co-host was Jenny McCarthy. I just want to see if I think the people on this show are truly hot or not in 2016.

Say What? Karaoke

It’s basically karaoke on a much bigger platform than the dive bar club you used to go to in college. Everyone embarrasses themselves and celebs are the judges.

Making the Band

Ok, but OG Danity Kane – 👏 THAT 👏 IS 👏 WHAT 👏 I 👏 AM 👏 TALKING👏 ABOUT 👏 . There was a lot of drama in the literal making of the band and subsequent downfall, but for a period of time, they had so much potential. They were the ultimate 00s girl group and I was sucked into the process from day one. In the video above, Diddy Sean Puffy Daddy Combs P had narrowed it down to a handful of girls and had them perform in groups a la Hollywood week on American Idol. The first song, which featured eventual Danity Kane members Aubrey O’Day and Aundrea Fimbres, was my JAM and I ripped it off the TV somehow and made it into an MP3 that I listened to more often than any normal human. #BoomKat

2ge+her

One of the most brilliant ideas MTV ever had was to make the TV movie 2ge+her, a mockumentary on a fictional boy band. The director of the 2000 film was Nigel Dick, a frequent staple on Making the Video as he was one of the top music directors for Britney, BSB, Jessica Simpson, etc. Then, they cast actual cute guys and truly catchy pop tunes and soon, what was supposed to be a joke became a real life boy band sensation, and it took on a life of its own. After a successful movie and soundtrack, the boys did another album and a spin-off TV series. It didn’t last long for multiple reasons, but one unfortunate reason was the passing of member Michael Cuccione, who died in 2001 at the age of 16.

The Real World

Seasons I want to see again: 1 through 12 (New York, Los Angeles, San Francisco, London, Miami, Boston, Seattle, Hawaii, New Orleans, New York, Chicago, Las Vegas).

Road Rules

None of the “Challenge” shit. I’m talking Mark Long. I’m talking Semester at Sea. I’m talking Theo and Abe before they became Challenge/Gauntlet veterans.

Rich Girls

There was only one season and 10 episodes of Rich Girls, but it felt like so much more. Before the Kardashians and Laguna Beach, MTV had Rich Girls, which follow Tommy Hilfiger’s daughter Ally, and her best friend Jaime, whose late father was a millionaire. Their life in New York was fascinating to me, and my main takeaway from the show was that to calm themselves down, they used one finger to tapp their “Third Eye” aka the space right above your eyebrows on your forehead, to keep calm. I did this before going on stage in high school. I don’t think it really worked.

Room Raiders

I just want more of this.

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Cheers Chats #7: Thanksgiving Orphans

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It’s Thanksgiving in July! We’re back for more Cheers and we’re chatting turkey and food fights and possibly the show’s best episode ever.

Episode 5.9: Thanksgiving Orphans

Originally aired: November 27th, 1986

Netflix synopsis: Diane is among a select few graduate students one of her professors has asked to spend Thanksgiving with his family, in the pilgrim tradition.

Previously, on Cheers

T: We’ve skipped an entire season and it happens to be Coach’s last season. Nicholas Colasanto passed away in real life from a heart attack, but in the show, they didn’t really explain how he died. Woody Harrelson comes in to replace him and he not only replaces Coach as another bartender, but as the one to tell all the stupid jokes now. For some reason I can tolerate it way more than Coach?  

Case in point, the first joke in the cold open:

“Boy, it seems like Christmas comes earlier every year, doesn’t it?” Sam

“I think if you check, Sam, it always comes on the 25th of December.” Woody

M: “This is my first Thanksgiving away from home. I mean, unless you count last year” – my boo, Woody.

I kind of feel bad that I said before that Coach was the character they kept around in case they needed something bad to happen to somebody but also … accurate?

T: Sam and Diane aren’t back together but still mackin’ on each other. At the end of season 4, when Sam is dating Kate Mulgrew, the finale ends with a cliffhanger in which he calls someone and asks the person on the other end to marry him. However, it wasn’t until the S5 premiere that we find out it’s Diane. She makes him propose again in a more romantic way, but then she says no because she feels like she’s his rebound from Kate Mulgrew, making Diane even more annoying. Ever since, they’ve been on and off and it’s like fahkin get it together people.

M: Carla, I think, had another baby, right? And I now have a theory that Cheers is to blame for show runners thinking audiences love “will they/won’t they” romances.

T: Oh and Frasier stuck around. Probs because he has a spin-off to look forward to.

So What Had Happened Was…

(Basic recap of the episode’s main plot)

T: Diane’s professor invites select guests to a Thanksgiving dinner much like Professor Slughorn’s Slug Club Christmas party. But she ends up at Carla’s with the rest of the gang after she showed up at the Slug Club only to find out she had only been invited to serve as a waitress.

M: I got so excited when I saw we were writing about a Thanksgiving episode – usually some of my favorite sitcom eps!

Did we even know that Diane was still in school? I thought she was like 30. By the way, Diane is an 80s Muggle Hermione Granger what with all her sucking up to the professor. Except, you know, not written by JK Rowling.

T: Carla holds Thanksgiving at her new place (right next to the airport), but everyone’s got their own problems. Norm, who brought a frozen turkey to Thanksgiving, has a big fight with Vera, Sam’s date doesn’t show up, while Fraiser is annoyed with the guys constantly moving the TV.

M: It’s neither here nor there, but Carla’s apartment set is where the change in aspect ratio for Netflix really stood out. There were just like 3 feet of plain white wall above her wallpaper and paneling.

T: The tension in the room is so palpable but it’s finally broken with a food fight, resulting in the best scene to date.

T: Plus they cheered for Coach, which was almost enough for me to cry.

M: So far, this is the first of our Cheers Chats episodes that I would recommend to someone who had never seen the show so they’d understand how great it is.

T: Sidenote: I love Woody’s friendship with Diane it’s so tender.

Carla’s My Boo

T: Woody says he’s thankful he can do  a weird thing with his tongue, and everyone’s response is to do weird shit too. Sam licks his plate for some reason and Carla has her leg wrapped around her head which explains why she has 8 children.

Shut Up, Diane

T: Perfect example of Diane needing to shut up is when she makes everyone go around and say what they’re thankful for. She gets up and says:

“…But on this very special occasion, my mind goes back over the years to the people who have influenced me. And I would like to name some of them for you. Teilhard Chardin, George Sand, Caravaggio. Oh, Emily Dickinson, the Buddha, Frank Lloyd Wright [time jump cut] Jean d’Arc, Shari Lewis and Lamb Chop.”

M: I was picturing Lisa Simpson’s Thanksgiving centerpiece the whole time:

It featured Georgia O’Keefe and Susan B Anthony.

 

M: I do feel a little sorry for Diane in her Pilgrim outfit grumbling that serving as waitstaff for her professor might be okay when you’re a “wide-eyed 19 year old, but not when you’re… not.” Which I guess answered my question about whether she’s a mature student.

T: Diane has to be a party pooper and attempt to end the food night and she gets all Red Ross like when Ross’ angry side comes out when he plays rugby on Friends. 

Little Ditty About Sam & Diane

T: Diane gets jealous and whines about Sam having a date for Thanksgiving.

“Besides, I know that we’ll have many holidays together when you and I are one.” Diane

“You already are one, Diane.” Sam

M: “I’m thankful that I have a super car and a cool stereo and I’m not wearing a pilgrim outfit” – SAMUEL. Just make out with her.

T: Diane is all cutesy with Sam after his date ends up spending TGives with her sister instead of going to TGives at Carla’s

No, I’m serious. I had a date and it fell through. Sam

Oh, you don’t have to convince me, Sam. I believe you. Diane

I’m telling you the truth. Sam

And I love you for it. Diane

T: Sam is the first to throw beets? And at Diane, no less.

LLOL

(Literal Laugh Loud Loud moments from the episode)

There’s a scene where the guys are sitting around the TV watching a WWF match featuring Hulk Hogan. The actual scene wasn’t necessarily funny but LOL at Hulk Hogan

Just sort of generally everything Woody said was great. Not the words, but the delivery.

“The little pop thing has a name, can we all say thermometer” – Frasier. Then everyone says “thermometer,” but angrily.

“Please, please! We are not here to be thankful for strange things we can do with our bodies.” Diane

Diane tries to get back at Sam and she attempts to throw a pie at him, but lands right on the face of Vera, who decides to come after all. WE ALMOST SAW VERA’S FACE. Is she like Mr. Kim or Wilson from Home Improvement. And apparently this is the only time we “see” Vera in the whole series.

M: When the food fight starts in earnest, Diane tries to break it up with a guttural yell like she’s Leslie Knope v. Eagleton.

Say It Again, Sam

(Memorable lines from the episode. Not exclusively from Sam Malone.)

 “This time of year is filled with arguments, suicides, murders. Yeah, I guess it’s the seasonal happiness of others tends to throw a glaring light on the flaws in our own interpersonal relationships. But see, of course, that’s no problem for me. I’m alone.” Fraiser

“Are you kiddin’? I did my part this year. I was in “Hands Across America,” remember?” Cliff refusing to volunteer at the soup kitchen for TGives with his mom

“Oh, who the hell do we think we’re kidding? We’re all a bunch of pathetic dropouts. Scorned by our loved ones, as if anybody ever loved us at all.” Fraiser

Cheers Queries

T: What ever happened to Woody’s hometown girlfriend? I don’t think they ever explained that.

T: Why is Norm the only one in charge of the turkey? Why don’t they try to help?

M: Couldn’t they have at least started with the sides when they were warm?

Barfly Fashion

Diane’s Thanksgiving Outfit

She describes this as “An absolutely authentic example of feminine colonial headwear.”

Carla’s leopard print shirt

Carla’s got a new stylist and it’s called the effects of the ’80s.

Sam’s plaid jacket

It’s Thanksgiving, not Easter, Sam. But also it might not be clear in this pic, but he is V tan.

Woody’s red sweater

More specifically the napkin. It’s to do with the napkin.

Final Thoughts

Next Up: We are basing our watch list off of AV Club’s 10 Episodes That Show How Cheers Stayed Great For 11 Seasons. We’re going chronologically, so stop by next month when we’ll discuss season six, episode 23, Bar Wars.

 

Comic-Con Round-Up From Someone Who Didn’t Go To Comic-Con

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Another year, another Comic-Con down. This year, like every other year, I did not attend. I’m not saying that in a way that I wish I could have gone (see: last year when I accidentally planned a trip to visit my friend in San Diego during Comic-Con weekend and it was insane seeing it from just the outside), but in the sense that I would be interested in approx, 2 panels. I’m just fine watching it all happen from afar and online like the rest of the world.

Thankfully for the Internet, we can get up-to-the second updates on the things we ARE interested in, and read the latest news on who’s the newest member of the Marvel Universe while we’re out and about, critique trailers for movies in the privacy of our own homes, and judge all the cosplays from far away. In saying that, here are some of MY main takeaways from this year’s Comic-Con, featuring some geekiness and nerdom of my own.

Everything Orphan Black

This season 4 blooper reel

I WANT MORE KRYSTAL! AND HELENA!

A behind-the-scenes look at the cast rapping

I’m a sucker for casts that truly look like they’re getting along IRL. This is one of them.

Typical Clone Improv

If you get Scott Aukerman to moderate the OB panel knowing full well Tat is a great improvisor, you best take advantage of it.

Kristin Chenoweth joins American Gods

I don’t even care about American Gods, all I care about is Kristin Chenoweth and how cute she is and how excited the fans were to see her. I am happy for everyone looking forward to watching this series.

Arrow Cast Comes For Rory O’Malley

I don’t watch Arrow, but I do watch (?) Hamilton. Obviously. STARS – THEY’RE JUST LIKE US!

Henry Cavill Joins The ‘Let’s See If I Can Walk Around Comic-Con With A Costume And Not Get Noticed’ Celebrity Club

If anything, this just proves Will Smith is as nice as he seems, amirite?

Kirk and Dean Plot Against Taylor Doose

Yes, Supernatural is STILL on TV. And not just reruns.

The Black Panther Cast Assembles

I don’t know anything about Black Panther except the fact some of my favorite people are in it and that’s good enough for me. The Walking Dead’s Danai Gurira was officially introduced as a cast member at the weekend, joining the movie’s star Chadwick Boseman, my boo Michael B. Jordan, ethereal goddess Lupita Nyong’o and bad ass director Ryan Coogler. Speaking of Danai and Lupita…

Marvel Women Show Who’s Bo$$

These ladies join the Marvel Universe which already includes a bunch of bad ass women, all seen here at Comic-Con. I mean look at that army of ladies. It’s a testament of how if given the opportunity to shine, females deserve leading roles as much as men, and it’s not just so they can make bank at the box office (which they certainly will), but because it stands for much more than a comic book movie adaptation. The cast of Black Panther and all the Marvel ladies is proof that representation is important in the media, and shouldn’t be overlooked.

I know someone who had to go to Comic-Con for work and she shared this touching post on Facebook that pretty much sums up why Marvel’s panel is maybe the most important to come out of the convention:

“This year, I watched a group of girls dressed like the Ghostbusters, with tremendously kick-ass homemade costumes and props be stopped for photos nearly every 15 feet. I watched the faces of little girls light up when they saw them. And I watched them excitedly turn to their groups and point them out. And I passed a guy dressed as Finn, who looked so much like John Boyega that I did a triple take. And I watched a Dad take a photo of that Finn with his son. After the photo was taken, the little boy started to cry. The Dad asked why, and he replied, “he looks just like me!””

And that, ladies and gentlemen, is what you missed at Comic-Con.

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So You’re Seeing A Hamilton Understudy*? I’m Jealous.

Posted in Entertainment by

You’ve been anticipating the day for months. You paid a significant amount of money to be in the room where it happens and see the most talked about musical in years. It’s won Tonys and a Grammy and other countless theater awards – the creator literally was named a genius for the masterpiece – then the day finally comes. And it’s July 10th. Or basically any day after July 10th. You missed the original Broadway cast by a day.

In the span of a week, four of Hamilton’s principal stars, Lin-Manuel Miranda, Leslie Odom Jr., Phillipa Soo and Daveed Diggs all took their final bow while Renee Elise Goldsberry also announced she’d be leaving this fall. All of them departed to pursue other opportunities and legitimately take a break. Are you one of the people upset about this? Well apparently you’re not alone.

And while I guess I expected there to be some backlash, I didn’t expect to see this headline the other day:

First of all, this isn’t a review – Samantha Tomaszewski wrote an article for the New York Post (established none other by the bastard, orphan, son of a whore Alexander Hamilton) in which audience members from the first post-Lin & co. spouted off their frustration on missing the original Broadway cast by a day.

“I’m extremely disappointed because I really want to see Lin-Manuel Miranda. It’s like going to see a band you like but they get someone else to be the lead singer. You’re not really getting what you originally paid for.” Ok, Kiara.

Ashley and Matt from Florida paid $500 each for orchestra seats in December, and were also disappointed. “When we found out…  it was a little heartbreaking. We considered selling them but figured we would be at a loss because no one would want to pay as much to see the show without Lin.”

These two quotes are the most negative ones in the article. Neither said it was a “total letdown”. I guess Samantha took a page out of A. Ham’s book of dramatized writing.

But to play Devil’s Advocate, I get it though. I will pay to see shows only because someone famous that iI love is in it. I just went to a concert version of West Side Story solely because Jeremy Jordan and Angelica Schuyler-to-be Karen Olivo were starring in it. Sorry, I’ll pick up those names I just dropped. Had it been people I wasn’t interested in, I wouldn’t have paid money to see a 1957 musical that’s been done a million. But Hamilton is different.

Molly & I are seeing Hamilton in October (#Hamtober) and my mother recently asked me, “Isn’t the guy who wrote the show leaving?” (loose translation from Tagalog). I said yes, but that seeing Lin wasn’t the only reason I bought the tickets. Would I love to have seen Lin in the role he created? Yes. Would it have been amazing to see Leslie and Daveed and maybe Renee in the parts they won Tonys for? Of course. But Hamilton is a musical that transcends the people who are in it. Obviously stellar writing needs a stellar vessel to act it out, but if you have a story and score as good as Hamilton, the actors playing the parts are almost secondary. If you’re mad you’re not seeing Lin, you’re missing the point.

Second, you have to remember most of these cast members have been with the show a long time. Just because Hamilton has received acclaim over the past year and more so in the past few months with all its awards, it doesn’t mean the actors just started their respective runs. For starters, Lin has been working on the show for SEVEN YEARS. And in 2013, when it was titled The Hamilton Mixtape, Daveed, Leslie and Chris Jackson assumed their roles of Lafayette/Jefferson, Aaron Burr, and George Washington respectively, in a workshop production at Vassar.

Lin and Chris Jackson at the 2013 Hamilton Mixtape workshop at Vassar

By 2015, the show became the Hamilton it is now (for the most part), and debuted Off-Broadway at the Public Theater. That version picked up all the remaining Original Broadway Cast members, including Renee, Phillipa, Jasmine Cephas Jones, Anthony Ramos and Oak Onaodowan. A lot of the ensemble members have also been in the company since the Public, and in case you’re a pedestrian Broadway fan strictly because of Hamilton, these folks do 8 shows a week. That’s more times than there are days in the week. And it’s the same show over and over again. Lest us forget that this is also a physically and emotionally demanding show. While some might think otherwise, doing a full on production for 3 hours, sometimes twice in one day, it can be draining. You try dying twice in one day as Laurens/Phillip. Four deaths if you’re doing a matinee.

Third, and probably most importantly, put faith in the casting directors for the show. They’re the ones who picked out the OBC in the first place, and they’re responsible for the current bench on Hamilton is way, way, deep. We touched on it during #HamilWeek when discussing the ensemble members/swings – these are people who have had leading roles in shows Wicked and Rent. They’re not just timid backup singers. They’re integral cogs to the entire Hamilton machine and often times know more than one role.

Actually, let’s back up a bit. *Understudy = every person that steps into a leading role. The actors filling in while parts like Lafyette/Jefferson are being recast have been around the block a few hundred times.

There are three types of cast members you need to get to know:

Understudy: Regular performing members of the cast (usually ensemble members) who also cover other roles for when the regular actors are on vacation or can’t perform at the last minute. Hamxample: Ensemble member Carleigh Bettiol is an understudy for Eliza, while other ensemble members like Sydney James Harcourt and Austin Smith both understudy Burr and Washington, among others. A tweaked version to this is a Stand-By, like Alysha Deslorieux, whose job is to just understudy the three principal female roles of Eliza, Angelica and Peggy/Maria.

Alternate: An actor scheduled to play a role for a set number of performances per week. Hamxample: Javier Munoz (current A.Ham/#Javilton) was Lin’s alternate on Sunday afternoons, and 2 shows a week toward the end of his run.

Swing: Swings understudy ensemble tracks, and possibly principal roles, which is the case for Hamilton. Hamxample: The ultimate swing is Andrew Chappelle, who covers Lafayette/Jefferson, Madison/Mulligan, Laurens/Phillip, Burr, King George, and all the male ensemble tracks (I believe).

Anyway, all this to say, these stand-bys and alternates and swings whose name appear on the little insert of your Playbill aren’t just randos. They’re talented folks who have worked hard to memorize MULTIPLE roles. Sure, they’re not who you’re accustomed to per the soundtrack, but you’ve already listened to that a million times. What about hearing it in a while new way? It might even make you see the show differently. These are people who bring a freshness to the role and new excitement, since they don’t do it every single night. It’s part of the magic of live theatre. With a different cast of multiple possibilities, it’s truly a new show every time, not to mention the actors’ performances vary depending on the audience’s energy and reactions as well.

Much like everyone else who has tickets for the rest of the show’s run, we’re not going to see the OBC in its full version, and I’m okay with that. You should be too. I remember seeing Wicked on Broadway a little over a year and a half after it premiered, and although it was sans Idina and Kristin, it starred Tony nominee Jennifer Laura Thompson as Glinda and vocal gymnast Shoshana Bean as Elphaba and I was still in awe. So much so that I legit cried 90% of the time. The music, story and outstanding performances all were stellar, and made me forget I wasn’t seeing the OBC.

We as theatergoers owe it to these actors to respect their craft, as corny as that may sound. The “understudies” already have the added pressure of proving to the audience that they’re worthy, so why add fuel to the fire? Imagine you had a friend in the chorus of a Broadway show, and they suddenly get called up to play the leading role for that night’s performance. You wouldn’t complain. You wouldn’t compare them to how good the regular actor is. You’d be proud and support them, because you know they have so much talent to share that they otherwise wouldn’t be able to.

So to Kiara and Ashley and Matt – I am jealous of you. I am jealous you got to see these standbys/swings/understudies/alternates take center stage. I am jealous you are even seeing the show at all. And I’m sure there are millions more who are jealous too. I hope you get what you paid for.

Playlist of the Month: YouTube Superstars

Posted in Entertainment, Lists by

Back in the early 2000s, we thought American Idol was going to change the way artists broke into the music business. It seemed so democratic – WE could pick the next singing sensation instead of waiting for music execs to tell us! We didn’t see the bigger change on the horizon. Since YouTube was founded in 2005, anybody with a camera and an internet connection can exhibit their talent to a potential audience of millions. The result: some of today’s top artists first gained worldwide exposure without even leaving their living rooms. With a mix of signed musicians and the more internet-famous, here are some of the best YouTube-made artists (*that we actually know about – there’s a whole YouTube culture out there and frankly, we’re not hip to it).

Traci’s Picks

Karmin

Amy and Nick met while attending Berklee and posted covers of songs on YouTube, including this one of Look at Me Now by Chris Brown, Lil Wayne and Busta Rhymes. Busta Rhymes, who’s known for his mile a minute raps. And she clearly kills it. It went viral and even caught the attention of Ellen DeGeneres, who brought them on her show and all the exposure led them to a record deal. Their Look at Me Now vid has over 101 million views and they went on to find success with their subsequent album, including my jam off their Hello album – Brokenhearted. Not brokenhearted – Amy and Nick. They got married earlier this year.

Troye Sivan

If you don’t know who Troye Sivan, just ask your 20 year old cousin or intern at work. Troye is 21, which means he grew up posting covers of himself singing on YouTube, and he soon transitioned to being a vlogger, which is how he helped accrue his over 4 million subscribers and more than 243 million views. One of his vids even won him a Teen Choice Award. For real. A few years ago, he made a coming out video which gained a lot of traction, and next thing you know, he was named one of the 25 Most Influential Teens by Time magazine. He focused back on music and last year he released his first full studio album, with electropop jams like Wild and Youth. Seriously, y’all – he’s kind of a big deal.

Carly Rae Jepsen

Ok, so Carly found fame in Canada before this video went viral (see: Canadian Idol, third place season five), but she became a worldwide sensation after Justin Bieber posted this “star-studded” lip sync video. Not only is Ashley Tisdale in it, but Jelena stans were going crazy that their fave couple was showing off publicly. As we all know, Call Me Maybe became THE song of the summer, and one of the greatest pop hits of this decade. And now Carly Rae is a Pop Queen, and if you disagree, I implore you to listen to her latest album, E•MO•TION in its entirety and dare to argue with me afterwards.

Lennon and Maisy

We wrote about Lennon and Maisy when this blog was just a baby, because we were two of the millions of people who fell in love with these siblings’ covers on YouTube. Their videos also caught the attention of the folks over at Nashville (the show) and they moved to Nashville (the city) to star in the series, which they’ve been recurring characters for the past four seasons. And their harmonies are as on point as ever.

Justin Bieber

We all know Bieber’s story. I thought he was cute when I first saw these vids years ago. Then he went through some troubling times, and if we’re being honest, now I’m a Belieber. Sorry is still my boo, and you can’t convince me otherwise. Also, if you want to feel some emotions (no matter your views on Bieber), here’s Usher surprising the crowd at JB’s recent Atlanta tour to sing U Got It Bad.

Molly’s Picks

Postmodern Jukebox

Before YouTube, people performing covers – even creative, beautifully arranged covers – were confined mostly to open mike nights or coffeehouse gigs. Now a wider audience can see that covers aren’t just someone else’s song: they’re a way to reimagine lyrics and melody to create something completely new. Enter Postmodern Jukebox. Their tagline is “today’s hits, yesterday” and they perform modern, popular songs in a way they might have sounded at a juke joint 60 years ago.

Chloe and Halle

They’ve been dubbed the “first superstars of the Beyonce Generation” – gaining fame on YouTube, landing a guest spot on Ellen, visiting the White House and ultimately appearing in Lemonade and performing at the BET Awards. These sisters are also talented, sweet, and the recipients of some seriously top-shelf genes. Nice generation, B.

Alessia Cara

Before Alessia’s ‘can’t I just stay home’ anthem (Here) was all over the airwaves, she made her name performing YouTube covers from her Canadian home. In just a few years she went from this one cover of Sweater Weather that everyone was sharing to supporting Coldplay on tour and winning a Juno.

Leroy Sanchez

Couldn’t resist going Double YouTube on this one. Leroy Sanchez is a YouTuber from Spain, and while he usually sings in English, Bieber’s Sorry sounds even better in Spanish.

Nick Pitera

Like Postmodern Jukebox, I like that this artist offers something that you wouldn’t hear on the radio. Namely: covering both the male and female parts in songs in a way that’s almost superhuman. It’s almost impossible to listen to one of his medleys without smiling. Guys. He even covered that song from Home Alone and Adele’s Hello in three octaves.

It’s a Love Story, Baby Just Say ‘What The Fuck Is Happening?’

Posted in Entertainment by

Can we talk about Taylor Swift and Tom Hiddleston for a sec? Or like, for this entire post? Great.

What’s up with Hiddleswift tho?

Ever since May, fans, gossip mongers and lookie-loos have been fascinated by their whirlwind romance. They’ve lit’rally gone all over the world together in the span of about a month, which is why it’s starting to get a little suspicious. There are a lot of theories floating around out there, mostly that this relationship is all for publicity. Or for their “craft”. And I’m starting to believe it too.

To support this, here’s a timeline of their “romance” and reasons why this whole Hiddleswift Love Story is the ultimate Taylor Troll.

May 2nd • New York City • Met Gala

Taylor (who as of May 2nd, we thought was still dating Calvin Harris) was spotted dancing to T.I.’s classic Bring Em Out with rando Tom Hiddleston. It’s the Met Gala, after all. Rando celebs co-mingling is the norm. They weren’t dancing up on each other, it seemed friendly. They were later spotted at the Boom Boom Room chatting it up all night.

Evidence of Trolling:
  • Where is Calvin? Taylor was a co-chair of this year’s Met Gala, which means she “hosted” it along with Anna Wintour and others. She wasn’t just a guest, it was a big night for her too. Calvin was MIA.
  • The person who posted this video that circulated throughout the Interwebs is Carlos Souza, Valentino’s brand ambassador. He’s also been described as a “PR Genius” for the fashion brand.

June 14th • Watch Hill, Rhode Island • Taylor’s Oceanside Mansion

A little over a month after the Met Gala, when most of us had even forgotten they had a dance-off, photos of Taylor and Tom surfaced of them talking along the rocks near her Rhode Island home. And making out and taking selfies. Taylor and Calvin Harris had just confirmed their break up weeks earlier.

Evidence of Trolling:
  • After years of being ridiculed for dating multiple guys in her early 20s, Taylor laid low when she started dating Calvin Harris last year. They were introduced to each other by Ellie Goulding at an awards show in February, and it wasn’t until March that they were spotted at a concert together in Nashville. They weren’t even photographed holding hands in Los Angeles until May, the same month she brought him along as her date to the Billboard Music Awards, where they only kissed each other on the CHEEK. Note that those last couple were in LA (where paps are everywhere) and at an awards show, which is obvs broadcast around the world. What I’m saying here is – Taylor’s Rhode Island home isn’t usually swarmed with paparazzi. Unless it’s July 4th (more on that later). The fact that there are snappers at all is questionable. On top of that, it doesn’t make sense she would be outside making out and holding hands and selfie taking with Tom seemingly out of nowhere just weeks after breaking up with Calvin. They couldn’t keep it on the DL inside her mansion?

June 21st • Nashville, Tennessee • Selena Gomez’s concert

Taylor flies down south to her adopted hometown of Nashville, where they take in her BFF Selena’s concert. And they *CAN’T KEEP THEIR HANDS TO THEMSELVES*.

https://www.instagram.com/p/BG8UopaoCwt/

Evidence of Trolling:
  • When Taylor first started dating Calvin Harris, they were first spotted at Kenny Chesney’s concert in Nashville. Coincidence?
  • However, they weren’t dancing all on top of each other. Hiddleswift is all about the dancing, apparently. At least they’ve found a common interest.

June 23rd • Nashville, Tennessee • Meet The Parents

It’s been a sold two weeks, so why NOT introduce Tom to her parents? They also went on a double date with Holly Williams and her husband – Holly is the granddaughter of Hank Williams, who Tom played in the biopic I Saw The Light. He became close with the whole Williams family while making the movie. Of course they would hang out with the world’s favorite country-turned-pop star (remember when Taylor was a ‘country star’?).

Evidence of Trolling:
  • No, but really, why so quick to meet her parents???

June 24th • Suffolk, England • Meet the Parents (British Style)

Because things weren’t fast enough, Tom and Taylor went across the pond to continue their tour of love by going to his native England to meet his mom.

Evidence of Trolling:
  • Again, why are they so out in the public? Where there are obviously paparazzi following them?

June 27th • Rome, Italy • Audrey Hepburn & Gregory Peck Visit The Colosseum

https://twitter.com/TSwiftPR/status/747508195795546113?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw

Evidence of Trolling:
  • Lit’rally every single picture looks set up. Taylor’s dressed like she’s in the Lizzie McGuire Movie sequel and Tom is her Gordo.
  • THERE IS SO MUCH PDA SO OUT IN THE OPEN. WHAT WOULD THE GLADIATORS SAY??

July 3rd • Watch Hill, Rhode Island • Taylor’s Ocean

Taylor’s annual July 4th bash at her Rhode Island mansion was back on, this time with more squad members and a new beau.

Evidence of Trolling:

https://twitter.com/aidybryant/status/749955564692799488

July 4th • Watch Hill, Rhode Island •#Taymerica

They celebrated America’s independence by sliding down a giant inflatable slide and becoming Instagram official.

https://www.instagram.com/p/BHfbTikDYx5/

Evidence of Trolling:
  • I still don’t understand how Tom’s fitting in with this #squad.
  • Why is Taylor the only one sitting the other way next to Blake and her other BFF?

July 6th to 8th • Various Airports • First Class

After an All-American weekend, they left Rhode Island on Wednesday, made a pit stop in Los Angeles and through the magic of time, landed in Sydney, Australia Friday morning.

Evidence of Trolling:
  •  She followed him He invited her to Australia where he’s filming the new Thor movie. Australia’s quite a long ways away from America. It’s not like if they got into a fight, she could be back home in 30 minutes. She’s Taylor Swift, not a wizard.

July 9th • Gold Coast, Australia • Dinner Date

Because Hiddles gots to eat.

Evidence of Trolling:
  • What exactly is Taylor doing while he’s filming Thor??? Writing songs? Everyone get ready for some tracks featuring digeridoos in the background.

July 10th • Gold Coast, Australia • This Is Why You Don’t Go On Jogs

Tom tried to go undercover while jogging out on the streets of Queensland.

Evidence of Trolling:
  • Are paparazzi really that bad in Australia that they were following his every step on his jog? Or did someone give them a tip? And why is he giving any sort of answer to the reporter at all?

July 11th • South Brisbane, Australia • Philanthropy

Ah, THIS is what Taylor’s been doing.

Evidence of Trolling:
  • I’m not going to shit on her for this. These kids are happy.

July 13th • Internet • Drag City

Y’all. Shit. Went. Down. Wednesday. TBH, I started this post before SongwritingGate happened. So this kind of takes everything to a whole new level. Can we put this in a nutshell? Let’s try.

  • Turns out Taylor wrote Calvin’s song This Is What You Came For ft. Rihanna. She did a demo on her phone, sent it to Calvin while they were still dating, and he decided to use it. They recorded a full demo, but Taylor used the pseudonym Nils Sjoberg, and they both agreed to not promote the track together as the ‘Taylor + Calvin song’ and keep it on the DL. She also reportedly did some backing vocals, but again, wasn’t credited.
  • Calvin later did an interview with Ryan Seacrest promoting the song, saying that he “can’t see (a collaboration) happening” with Taylor. Some say this was the catalyst for their demise.
  • On Wednesday, Calvin went IN on Taylor on Twitter, which I will copy & paste JIC it’s all deleted: “And she sings on a little bit of it too Amazing lyric writer and she smashed it as usual… I wrote the music, produced the song, arranged it and cut the vocals though. And initially she wanted it kept secret, hence the pseudonym… Hurtful to me at this point that her and her team would go so far out of their way to try and make ME look bad at this stage though 🤔 … I figure if you’re happy in your new relationship you should focus on that instead of trying to tear your ex bf down for something to do…

https://twitter.com/CalvinHarris/status/753259873035399168

Please focus on the positive aspects of YOUR life because you’ve earned a great one…God bless everyone have a beautiful day.

  • AND THEN – KATY ‘BAD BLOOD’ PERRY THREW THE BEST SHADE IN THE HISTORY OF TREES.

FOLLOWED BY A RETWEET OF A POST SHE SENT LAST YEAR

Evidence of Trolling:
  • I mean. Now, what is happening?

July 14th • Australia • He Speaks

“The truth is that Taylor Swift and I are together, and we’re very happy. Thanks for asking. That’s the truth. It’s not a publicity stunt.” Tom to The Hollywood Reporter

Evidence of Trolling:

Alright team. Them’s the facts. Tom’s latest comments aside, I still think the whole thing is a little fishy. Pre-SongwritingGate, I was inclined to believe the conspiracy theories that their romance has all been just for show. That it’s one huge piece of performance art and Taylor’s attempt at a Lemonade-style piece. That she’s quite literally acting out her Blank Space and Wildest Dreams music videos IRL.

The evidence above and show here and here give the theories that it’s all for show compelling arguments, which I’m willing to believe. What I cannot get myself to believe is that Taylor moved so quickly after her breakup. She and Calvin dated for 15 months and about 3 weeks later, she’s going non-stop with another guy? I’m not saying a real relationship isn’t possible, it just seems fishy to me.

And again, why all the cameras??! I get she’s one of the most famous people in the world, but per her track from 1989 – SHE KNOWS PLACES. She doesn’t have to be out and about. Also, here’s a little insider scoop – celebrities/their people call paparazzi to tip them off and let them know where they’ll be to knowingly get a “candid” pic published for all the world to see. It isn’t all by chance. Those English beach shots and Roman Holiday excursion reek of just that. Also, have I mentioned Tom is in talks to become the next James Bond? Because he is. Is Taylor singing the song for the new Bond movie and this has all been videotaped for the music video?

However, in post-SongwritingGate world, I’m starting to think Calvin may have fucked up her entire plan. He went rogue. Nils was supposed to be a secret. Not anymore. Then Katy stepped in with her GIF and the story became even bigger. Meanwhile, Rihanna is probably hiding out with Drake somewhere hoping she’s not dragged into this more than she already is. Anyways, if Calvin didn’t go rogue, is this all part of her master plan? Those tweets make him seem like a lover scorned, which leads me to believe the answer is no. Will we ever find out the truth?

In the words of a wise 2015 sage, “Time, the ultimate truth teller”.

 

Things I’m Willing To Believe About Pokemon Go

Posted in Entertainment, Miscellany by

My social media platforms took a weird turn this weekend. One minute, it was all racism, gun violence and Hamilton, and seemingly out of nowhere it became SQUIRTLE! MEWTOO! GOTTA CATCH EM ALL! Was there some kind of a 1998 time warp? I can’t have been the only person who didn’t have advance notice of Pokemon Go and has been struggling to put it all together piece by piece.

Let’s be clear: I think Pokemon Go is great! It gets people outside, smiling and walking and talking to friends and strangers. Dogs get exercise. Neighborhoods are explored. Everyone’s talking about the same thing (which is one of my favorite things about social media phenomena, generally). I also have no clue what’s going on. And since I’ve been getting messages that my iPhone storage is almost full for the past two weeks, I won’t find out until I get all of my photos on a cloud and cull my iTunes library.

Usually we reserve Things I’m Willing To Believe About posts for dreamy leading men (see: Ben Affleck, Leonardo DiCaprio, Lin-Manuel Miranda), or else one-time DNC candidates (hey, Lincoln Chafee). But since we know so few actual facts about Pokemon Go, it seemed like fictional facts are the way to go. Here are some things we’re willing to believe about it:

Pokemon Go was developed as a secret initiative of Michelle Obama’s Let’s Move program. 

THANKS OBAMA. (No, really – thanks!)

“Rare” Pokemons are in really dangerous spots. Or, like, in a cemetery at night.
Dozens of Pokemon Go! players broke into an abandoned subway bed for a “PokeRave.”

Over 10 players were hospitalized with overdose symptoms but curiously, no evidence of drug use was found.

Developers are currently working on Benevolent Mode

Time for you to go to sleep? A coveted Pokemon appears in your bed. When you have to get up, there’s one by your coffee machine. A trail of Pokemon will appear, like moving targets, until you have completed your step goal for the day. You can even set Pokemon to appear at your nana’s nursing home – so you visit more – or at a local farmer’s market if you’re trying to eat more greens. A new Pokemon will appear around the corner from your workplace or home after you’ve finished a work assignment or homework. Have some iffy moles? There’s a Scyther at your dermatologist’s office.

Pokemon Go works better if you walk really slowly and stop dead in the middle of crowded sidewalks.

 

I don’t know, I’m just basing this on youths I’ve been stuck behind on my way to and from work.

The creators are so proud of Rattata

So, so proud that they put them EVERYWHERE. It’s like when god made rats: clearly pretty pleased with himself, since those jerks will survive anywhere.

Pokemon Go has been used in a successful sting to round up criminals with outstanding warrants

“Hey Kevin, there’s a Zapdos at the precinct, let’s go!”

Don’t do it, Kevin. There’s a 6-month prison term at the precinct.

There’s a Bulbasaur onstage during the duel in Hamilton.

Audiences feel that, if anything, it enhances the experience.

The “Churches are Pokegyms” thing was meant to be social commentary.

I don’t know, something about how we worship physical fitness, or a protest against churches’ tax-free status, probably.

Or one of these guys is really into church and is trying to get people into it. Not sure.

Pokemon Go Urban Legends already exist.

The Charizard was flying from INSIDE THE HOUSE.

When she got out of the car, Ash’s fingernails were scraping against the roof of the car.

He turned around to the backseat, and the Pikachu he had picked up had vanished. He went up to the nearest door. “Oh, Pikachu? He died in 1999,” the old woman said.

Pokemon Go has an internal conscience

Why else would it have caught so many people cheating, according to headlines I saw but didn’t click on? Also it has all of your secrets, so don’t piss it off.

You still have to look both ways

If you’re crossing the street, you still have to look both ways. If you’re driving, you still can’t play a game at the same time. Like I said, I haven’t played the game yet, but I’ve seen it blamed for injuries on the news and I’m almost positive you can’t walk out into traffic when you’re playing.