Questions, Comments, Concerns: The Passion

Posted in Entertainment by Traci

It’s time for another live TV production for everyone on the Internet to comment on! We’ve previously covered The Sound of Music, Peter Pan, The Wiz, Grease: Live! and now we’re giving our thoughts on everyone’s favorite musical, The Passion. Although it’s technically not a musical, but more of a story with music.

What even is The Passion? It’s basically the story of the final days of Jesus’ life. This passion play has been done for years around the world, but this specific show is derived from a British TV production, where celebrities paraphrase certain Bible passages which tell the story of Easter, and in between, they sing live performances of pop songs relevant to the story. Meanwhile, a group of people carry a huge cross towards the main stage in the center square where all the action takes place.

The Passion has been huge in The Netherlands over the past few years, and each year it takes place in a different city. In the American version, ~~Tyler Perry’s~~ The Passion took place in New Orleans on Sunday, which was Palm Sunday aka the Sunday before Easter. Whether you’re a believer or not, there’s still a lot to talk about regarding the actual show, so here are some questions, comments, and concerns that came up while watching this musical event for the first time.

Question: What is this stage?

It looks like it could double as Justin Bieber’s latest tour stage.

Concern: This is not a play

Apparently this show is more of a presentation than a theatrical play. I thought it was more along the lines of telling the Easter story with music, but according to Tyler Perry, it’s not. He is the emcee/host/storyteller/narrator of this show, and I also didn’t realize he was going to be doing an opening monologue and continuously explain what’s happening or what’s about to happen. He starts on the Bieber stage in the middle of New Orleans’ Woldenberg Park, and at one point, he’s trying to get through his speech but people start cheering and he pauses to let them continue cheering. It’s… weird? He also says, “…As New Orleans becomes our Jersusalem” there are more cheers from the crowd, who are v excited to see their city turned into the big JC’s hometown.

Comment: Yolanda Adams is serving Jesus chic in this dress

Gospel singer Yolanda Adams sings the first song of the night, When Love Takes Over, originally by David Guetta and Kelly Rowland. I guess it works.

Comment: I’m thrown by the pre-taped packages

Tyler Perry throws to the huge video screens which show Jesus (Jencarlos Canela) rolling with his crew aka the disciples featuring Prince Royce (Peter), Chris Daughtry (Judas) and Christian singer Michael W. Smith (misc. disciple) singing Celine Dion’s Love Can Move Mountains. They’re initially on a famous New Orleans trolley and make their way to some large park and it’s clear this was one of the pre-taped segments for the show. I’m still trying to get my head wrapped around what’s happening. Like there are these folks on the trolley who I think are acting as if Jencarlos is Jesus, but the folks near Tyler Perry are regular audience members. So I guess the Bieber stage is present day and everywhere else is “Jerusalem”? Does it even matter that I have to delineate which one is which?

Question: Is Tyler Perry going to keep telling us what’s about to happen?

Is it necessary to give a character breakdown of all the people in this show? Tyler Perry gives a brief description of the main players in JC’s crucifixion story, but I feel like we can figure it out? But I guess if no one’s saying lines describing what happened in makes sense? And I get that if people are tuning in and not familiar with the Bible/this story and have no idea who the “characters” involved in this story are, you have to explain it… but why are they watching anyways?

Comment: I see you Pontious Pilate

You talkin’ to no one, Seal.

Comment: Tricia Yearwood is still a solid singer

Trisha is playing the role of JC’s mom Mary. By “playing” I mean Tyler Perry tells me she’s Mary and Trisha sings a song describing how Mary felt towards her son Jesus. On the bright side, I will say it’s hard to cover a Whitney song and be good at it but Trisha’s doing My Love Is Your Love justice.

Concern: All of the disciples’ scenes are possibly pre-taped

We cut to JC and his disciples in a coffee shop and JC is all, ‘Yo Peter, you gonna be the main man to build this whole Christianity thang’ and Peter’s all… ‘Imma dip out byeeeeee’.

Comment: This is giving me Left Behind vibes

Right now, I feel like I’m watching a Christian movie and Kirk Cameron is going to pop up at any second.

Concern: Jesus is… offputting

Is it horrible that I do not care for the way Jencarlos is playing Jesus right now? It feels forced and he has a hint of cockiness to how he’s playing it, and I don’t like it one bit.

Comment: Cross bearers are part of a glorified news report

Throughout the show, a giant illuminated cross is being carried through the city with more and more people joining the group as they go along the route. Joining them is Nischelle Turner, who is a reporter on Entertainment Tonight – I only know this because I have to watch ET every day but they didn’t mention it during the show. She’s basically like the man on the ground with the cross bearers and talking with some of them as they go. So that’s a thing we didn’t see in Grease: Live!

Comment: “Celebrity” cameos are happening

Jesus goes up to a food truck and asks for loaves and fishes (see: parable). Top Chef alum and The Chew host Carla Hall works on the Fish & Bread (???) truck and happily gives it to him, but did we need a cameo from a familiar face in this?

Comment: No one likes Creed

this is a real angelfire site

Jesus is singing Creed’s With Arms Wide Open during The Last Supper but I think JC would still be on the side of most people by saying Creed isn’t the best.

Concern: Time is going slowly

Trisha Yearwood is currently singing contemporary pop hit Hands by Jewel and legit I feel like I’ve been watching this for 2 hours but it’s only been 30 minutes.

Comment: The cross just went down Bourbon Street

The illuminated cross was brought down New Orleans’ famous Bourbon Street, which if you don’t know is home to a bunch of bars and a lot of Mardi Gras celebrations. So that’s a first. Nischelle interviewed a man who is in the military and also a woman whose teenage son was killed due to violence, so in addition to the Christian story they’re telling, they’re also incorporating social issues. Tyler Perry made a few (horrible) jokes too. I’m just so confused as to what this whole thing is.

Question: Why is Judas singing Evanescence in an empty factory

Judas is having some internal struggles while he battles betraying Jesus, so he decides to since Bring Me To Life by Evanescence in a dark, empty, creepy factory building. I find it impressive yet unnerving due to the location, but Tyler Perry has a different response, saying of the (pre-taped) scene, “Wow, I believe he’s in turmoil.”

Comment: The audience is feelin it

A lot of the audience members are really feeling the show and are getting emotional. It looks like it could be a scene from Jesus Camp. But then there are some who are the folks who constantly are aware they’re on TV and wave every chance they get.

Comment: Jesus Christ: The Unauthorized Musical

I just realized the best way to describe this show – an unauthorized musical about the final days of Jesus’ life. Remember how a couple of producers in LA have made the Unauthorized Cruel Intentions musical and the Unauthorized The O.C. musical (which I pitched songs for) and the upcoming Unauthorized Friday Night Lights musical? This is what that is. Retelling a story with the characters singing “modern” pop songs is exactly what The Passion is and I wish I truly understood that before I watched this.

Question: Why is it taking so long for Judas to kiss Jesus

Honestly, there’s no time for singing. He needs to betray him immediately. I will say that this is a powerful scene with the police taking Jesus away while the other disciples fight back and an eerie reminder this is what’s happening in America and not just fictionalized Jerusalem.

Comment: Lil Wayne tho

This commercial featuring Lil Wayne just aired and I am dying. He’s actually really funny! And maybe the most entertaining part of this show!

Question: Where is Hoobastank?

Because they’re still getting royalties off The Reason 12 years later and honestly, good for them. But was I missing Hoobastank in my life? No.

Concern: How heavy is this cross tho?

I know a bunch of folks are carrying the cross and the weight is distributed evenly, but still, it can’t be easy to carry a large illuminated cross for 2 miles.

Comment: A real musical in a faux musical

Trisha’s singing You’ll Never Walk Alone from Carousel and I’d honestly rather watch Carousel right now.

Comment: Seal as Pontius Pilate

Jesus is in custody and brought to the Bieber stage for the first time since the show started an hour and a half ago. Seal also shows up as Pontius Pilate and I’ve always thought that if Seal played a villain it wouldn’t be a stretch. Also, they’re singing a song I’ve never heard before called We Don’t Need Another Hero, which is apparently by Tina Turner for Mad Max Beyond Thunderdome.

Comment: I think I’m biased against Seal

Remember last week when I said Kiss From a Rose was overplayed and I ended up hating it because of its heavy rotation? I think that has made me subconsciously dislike Seal and throughout his entire rendition of Mad World, I tuned out.

Question: Is Lifehouse a Christian band?

Trisha Yearwood is singing Lifehouse’s Broken, which is not only a song I’ve never heard of but, seamlessly fits as a song Mary sings as she says goodbye to her son. It’s such a good match that I’m wondering if Lifehouse made a foray into Christian music.

Comment: Tyler Perry has confidence

The way pastor Tyler Perry is talking and saying how “amazing” the show is makes it seem like he’s overly confident like he is well aware all of America is watching and tweeting about this show right now. Update: 6.61 million people tuned in to see The Passion, which is way down from when Fox did Grease: Live in January. To put it in perspective, more people watched Steve Harvey’s new kid talent show Little Big Shots than The Passion.

Question: Is Jesus about to pull a Michael Scott?

After the crucifixion (that Tyler Perry described to us instead of it being acted out), Jesus rises from the dead and Jencarlos shows up on the roof of a building overlooking the Bieber stage and the reveal of his location is legit like Michael Scott going on roof of Dunder Mifflin and threatening to jump. Also, it’s really windy which is a bit concerning.

Comment: I guess that was ok

I think the main problem is that although I knew what the idea of the show was, I still thought it was going to be more like Godspell or Jesus Christ Superstar. Not to say it was horrible. You know who probably really liked this show? My parents. My parents who are super in the big JC and are probably talking about it like we talk about the last episode of Scandal. So, glad they finally have a TV program to chat about.

18Mar2016

Playlist of the Month: Songs I Liked Before They Got Overplayed

Posted in Entertainment, Lists by Cookies + Sangria

We’ll never learn. We hear a new single on the radio, declare that it’s really amazing, and maybe even tell all of our friends about it. Within a few months the song is completely overplayed, we can’t stand to listen to it, and we’re frankly embarrassed that we liked it in the first place. But since there are no secrets on the blog, we’re confessing all today: at one time, these tunes were music to our ears. Now, years after they came out, we STILL change the station when we hear the opening chords.

Molly’s Picks

Hey There Delilah by Plain White T’s

Ten years ago this March, both of us were traipsing across Europe on our semester abroad. Meanwhile, my suitemates back home had a replacement roommate (who ended up becoming our friend, so that worked out great)! Anyway, she introduced everyone to this catchy new song that wasn’t even on the radio yet: Hey There Delilah. I even remember someone asking over IM whether I had heard it (hey there, 2006). I had not. Cut to over a year later, the single reached number one and I was very, very sick of it.

Kiss Me by Sixpence None The Richer

I was in junior high, it was featured on both Dawson’s Creek AND She’s All That, and that’s no excuse. I had a head start on this song thanks to the W.B.’s heavy music marketing, so by the time it was on the radio I was already done. I mean, just kiss someplace normal.

Daughters by John Mayer

To this day, I cannot make it all the way through this song. To this very DAY. But Heavier Things was one of the defining albums of my high school years (lest anyone think I’m at all cool), and there was a time when I’d get very excited every time I heard my favorite fake-sensitive acoustic-rock guy on the radio. That all died with Daughters, as the more (and more… and MORE) I heard it, the more insipid it became.

Sugar We’re Going Down by Fall Out Boy

Because no list of songs that sounded really good before you listened to them 100+ times would be complete without something from the Fall Out Boy/ The Killers / Panic At The Disco / Kings Of Leon neighborhood.

Ho Hey by The Lumineers

“Have you heard of The Lumineers? They only play them on the indie station now but I think they’re going to get really popular!” – This idiot, c. 2012.

Traci’s Picks

Kiss From a Rose by Seal

It was the summer of 1995. I was 9 years old, Michael Keaton was Batman, not Birdman. It was a different time back then. After featuring on the Batman Forever soundtrack, the song basically launched Seal into a global superstar when the song skyrocketed constant radio rotation. It’s a good, haunting song that is perfect for Seal, but it go to the point that I heard it so much on the radio (because in 1995 we didn’t have Spotify or SiriusXM, kids) that I would demand the station be changed from the backseat of my parents’ car. It was like hearing nails on a chalkboard for me.

Call Me Maybe by Carly Rae Jepsen

I, like many others, were introduced to this song via Justin Bieber’s rather brilliant homemade music video with his then-GF Selena and her BFF Ashley Tisdale. I couldn’t resist the catchiness of the song and played it on my own personal rotation constantly. And then it became popular on the radio, people started doing covers of it, and the rest is history. In defense of Carly Rae, this may be the song she’s best known for, but she’s got other great hits too. I.E. her entire album, E MO TION, which is hands down, one of the best pop albums I’ve ever heard. Get on it.

Somebody That I Used To Know by Gotye

Remember when this song blew up in 2011? And how no one knew how to pronounce his name if they saw it on paper? And how we don’t know what’s happened to Gotye since?

Torn by Natalie Imbruglia

Like Seal’s Kiss From A Rose, I had an adverse reaction to this after day number 410 of the song being played on repeat in 1997. To Americans, Natalie was a new artist who had a one-hit wonder with Torn and her memorable music video in an apartment that never changed settings. To Australians, she was and still is top actress who happened to have a hit song around the world. Fun fact: Natalie’s version is actually a cover of American alternative rock band Ednaswap, who featured Torn on their 1995 album.

Blurred Lines – Robin Thicke ft. Pharrell and T.I.

Before all the legal battles and misogyny, this was a good song. In fact, I was fan of Robin’s from his other tracks like Lost Without U and The Sweetest Love, so when he came out with this tune I was excited. Then it went downhill from there.

17Mar2016

#ThrowbackThursday: Austin Travel Guide for Dillion Panthers Fans

Posted in Entertainment, Miscellany by Traci

Howdy, y’all! If you’re currently in Austin, Texas you’re either loving South By Southwest or completely hating every single second of the week-long event. If you’re an SXSWInteractive person, congrats nerds, you made it through the whole thing. If you’re a SXSWFilm person, I’m sure you’ll get a chance to talk to Robert Rodriguez at the next secret industry party on 6th street. If you’re a SXSWMusic person, remember Uber isn’t going to be easy to take home after the outdoor stage concerts.

But if you’re in Austin and have some extra time before or after all your activities, and can easily answer the question: “What Friday Night Lights season two plot line do all fans consider to never have happened?”, then may I suggest taking this tour.

In 2013, I went to Austin for the first time and loved it. I didn’t go for SXSW, but rather the ATX Television Festival, which I’ve since gone to three times, including last year, when both of us went and lived in a weird dream world of Dillon, Texas and Stars Hollow, Connecticut combined.

FNL was shot entirely in Austin, which is why the series has that true Texas feel, despite Austin not being a small town. Luckily for you Panthers/East Dillon Lions fans out there, there are still a number of real filming locations available to visit and snap a picture in front of. So have fun SXSW-ers, and remember if you’re stuck in the middle of a mosh pit and need to go to the bathroom during Coheed and Cambria’s set – Clear Eyes, Full ~~Bladders~~ Hearts, Can’t ~~Pee~~ Lose.

A Stalker’s Guide to Dillon, Texas

Howdy y’all! I recently went to Austin, Texas for a brief weekend getaway, for a few reasons. One: I always wanted to go to Austin, since I heard it was the most un-Texas Texas city in the state. During my road trip across the country in 2009, Austin was on the list of possible cities to go, but we due to time constraints (and the fact we wanted to not drive across desert for another 10 hours), we opted to skip Austin, and I’ve put the city on the top of my bucket list ever since. Two: I attended the ATX Television Festival, which is a new festival for TV fans and those who want to break into the industry, and it was full of screenings, panels, and reunions from fave shows. You may have heard about the Boy Meets World bonanza, and I also attended the American Dreams and Party of Five reunions, and sat in on Parenthood and Veronica Mars panels! Not to mention Friday Night Lights. Which brings me to reason three: Friday Night Lights. The show was set in the fictional town of Dillion, Texas, but was shot entirely in Austin. Ever since I marathoned (and obsessed over) the series in 2010, I made it my goal to go to Austin and find all the filming locations.

So, if you’re a ~~superfan~~ stalker like me, and find yourself in Austin, here’s a guide to Dillon by way of Austin.

The Taylor House

6805 De Paul Cove, Austin TX 78723

The house were the greatest TV couple/parents lived. They should make this place a national landmark. PS: The Taylor, Riggins, and Alamo Freeze are all close to each other, so you can do it all in one fell swoop!

The Riggins House

2604 Lehigh Dr. Austin, TX 78723

No sign of Riggs 😦

Alamo Freeze

5900 Manor Rd. Austin, TX 78723

Fun fact: the Alamo Freeze is actually a Dairy Queen. So you can reenact Matt’s proposal to Julie and then grab an oreo blizzard.

Saracen House

3009 Kuhlman Ave. Austin, TX 78702

Grandma Saracen and her tiara not included.

Del Valle Field

2404 Shapard Lane, Del Valle, TX

Panther Fieldhouse still in tact!

The Panthers side

And the other side of the field was the Lions side!

The FNL fieldhouse is still in tact and on a random street near the Austin airport. The only thing still up and running nearby are a few trailers – like trailer park trailers. But you could clearly see the football field and the stands, which is pretty cool. The area was actually used for two ‘sets’, with the Panthers on the left, and when East Dillion needed a field, they built the Lions homefield on the other side of the Panthers’ bleachers!

Here’s me and my friend Suz hanging with Riggins at the fieldhouse…

PS: I didn’t just come up with these locations, it’s easily found on the internet – including here!!!

And to round out my tour of FNL filming locations, the ATX Festival also had a couple of FNL events, including an outdoor screening of State (Season 1 finale) and a panel with the cast! The screening, which appropriately took place on Friday night, was great because a lot of the cast members were there to meet with fans and introduce the ep. I got to meet most of them, and I still can’t believe it happened!

I apologized to Matt Lauria for wearing the wrong shirt, and he said, “Wrong side of the tracks, babe.” DEAD.

Smash and Tinker sandwich!

Jason Street said, “Sorry for my back sweat,” then proceeded to show me the back of his shirt. HAHAHA #deadagain

Grandma Saracen told me to go under the VIP rope to take this pic with her!

Grams and Buddy Garrity having a laugh

Grandma Saracen then offered this personal signed picture of herself with the boys. Bless.

AND THEN, the next morning was the FNL panel, where we were surprised by a couple guests:

COACH AND MRS. COACH, Y’ALL!!!!!! I think I may have started crying.Who knows. But you can always bet on me crying. I shared the same air as the greatest couple ever.

Thanks for the great time, Austin/Dillon! See y’all next time!

10Mar2016

How To Properly Display Mr. Darcy’s Wet Shirt

Posted in Entertainment, Outfit Girl by Molly

In our high school, on the wall of a corridor, there was a tiny cutout within an elaborate gold frame. It was lined with red velvet, and in it nestled a little white speck, like something you’d take out of your teeth if you didn’t brush them after eating oatmeal. It was supposed to be a relic of St. Thomas Aquinas – a tiny chip of his bone.

There are two real take-aways there. The first: Catholics are quirky. The second: when an otherwise inconsequential object is associated with somebody important, it starts to take on some of their qualities.

It’s why I wash my great-grandmother’s china by hand and would be upset if I dropped a piece, but don’t lose any sleep if I fumble a plate from Target. (Get me a rom-com to star in, because I’m an otherwise put-together career woman who drops things a lot.) It’s the reason we hold on to hand-knit scarves through dozens of clothing purges, even if we don’t wear them. It’s basically the whole reason auction houses exist.

Which brings us, in a way, to Jane Austen. This summer, an exhibition at the Folger Shakespeare Library in Washington, D.C. – Will & Jane: Shakespeare, Austen and the Cult of Celebrity – will be displaying Mr. Darcy’s wet shirt.

If the phrase “Mr. Darcy’s wet shirt” doesn’t mean anything to you, have a nice day and we’ll see you tomorrow with a post that’s more relevant to your interests.

If your eyes lit up with recognition, it’s because you’re familiar with the 1995 adaptation of Pride and Prejudice, with Colin Firth as dashing, condescending Mr. Darcy.

Need a refresher? Here you go:

Yeah. This isn’t just ANY puffy shirt from the 90s…

It’s the blouse that showed a generation the relaxed – but also bumbling and awkward -side of Mr. Darcy.

And I say this as more of a Bingley girl. I KNOW. Always have been, always will be, and I will fight anyone on that. And by fight I mean, like, flutter our fans scornfully at each other. I’m really not a fighter, and this is Pride and Prejudice, not a rumble.

I can’t be the only one who thinks Mr. Darcy’s Wet Shirt is more than just an old shirt – it is somehow imbued with the qualities of Mr. Darcy. Or 1995 Colin Firth. Whichever. After all, it is being displayed in a museum. Further, I found out about this from the New York Times, not some sort of newsletter specifically about the better film adaptations of Jane Austen books. I can’t be the only one who cares a little.

Just like that weird bone-chip in our high school hallway, you have to display important things carefully. How should the blouse be exhibited? I have some ideas:

First of all, you can’t just half-ass it, or it’s going to look like laundry. Regency-era laundry, but still. It will not do:

Second, this is Mr. Darcy’s wet shirt. Not just a shirt. Can they rig up some sort of misting system? Like you’re waiting in line at Epcot.
Great. But when you see costumes displayed, they’re usually on scale mannequins. I like this because at every costume exhibition, I can compare my height and general size to whoever wore it. I cannot be the only person who does that – even at the First Ladies exhibit at the Smithsonian. Mary Lincoln was smaller than I would have thought!
But let’s go back to that video clip. This is fabric that BREATHES and MOVES. Wouldn’t it be a pity to waste that? So maybe they could use some sort of animatronic dummy to really get that sense of movement.
WAIT. See how that blouse billows when it’s submerged? Maybe we need more of a tank situation. Like a small pond and shoreline, so you could see it dip in and out of the water.
The thing is, fire hazards. Right? Putting an electronic mannequin in and out of the water is sure to set some sparks flying – and I’m not talking about the sparks of obvious chemistry between Darcy and Lizzie Bennett.
What I’m saying is, I think we have to use a real human. But wouldn’t it be hard to find someone of the same exact size and charisma as Colin Firth?
So that settles it, then. Colin Firth, wearing the shirt, in a small Pemberley habitat. See you all in Washington this August!

9Mar2016

High School Musical 4: Breaking Free From Disney

Posted in Entertainment by Traci

Revivals of TV shows and movies you loved years ago seems to be the trend of late, like the new version of the superhero genre or forensic procedural that had a surge of shows in years past. And now here’s a little something for the millennials – a movie that just celebrated its 10th anniversary is getting a fourth sequel. Disney head honchos recently announced they are making High School Musical 4, with a whole new batch of aspiring actors just like Disney is wont to do. To tie the new installment in with the beloved OG franchise, one of the main characters is named Campbell and described as “Troy Bolton 2.0” in the character breakdown. Instead of the basketball court, he’s the captain of the soccer team and also a theater star, which runs in his family because guess what – he’s Sharpay and Ryan Evans’ cousin.

My guess is that these two are at least in for a cameo in the fourth movie, since they have reason to be back. But what are they, and the rest of the Wildcats doing eight years after graduating high school? Is Taylor McKessie running the world? Did Chad become a sports star? Has Ryan come out yet? Are Troy and Gabriella still together, fulfilling every shipper’s dream of Zanessa being alive and well in an alternate universe? Most importantly, is HSM4 going to be in the theatres likes HSM3 and I’ll have to go to a late night showing by myself so I don’t see it with other kids or will it air like a DCOM and on the Disney Channel? Will it be on the Disney Channel at all?? (Probably yes). But what if it wasn’t? And what if it actually caught up with the original cast instead of introducing new characters? An adult HSM, if you will. I’m taking a giant leap from reality and exploring not only what the Class of ’08 is doing today, but what they could be doing if they weren’t on DisChan but rather on some of today’s biggest networks. Who knows, anything could happen. This is the golden age of television, after all. You can’t stick to the status quo for everything.

The Disney Channel Version

After graduating from the University of Albuquerque with a degree in the performing arts, Sharpay moved to New York and lived with Ryan while she went on audition after audition to be on Broadway. She was in a few Off-Broadway shows including an ensemble cast member in a new version of Rent (waitress during La Vie Boheme). After two years of working retail at Forever 21 and no getting any luck with her Broadway dreams, she moved back to Albuquerque and works at East High rival West High as the drama teacher. Ryan graduated from Juliard, where he wrote songs with Kelsi, and they created their own duo of Evans & Nielsen. Together they’re Broadway’s next Kander and Ebb and are making waves on the Broadway underground. Meanwhile, Chad also graduated from U of A with Sharpay and was drafted for the Brooklyn Nets straight out of college. He moved from team to team but currently plays for the Phoenix Suns. Taylor graduated from Yale with a degree in political science, then went to Georgetown to get her graduate degree in economics. She’s just got a job in Washington D.C. working as a White House staffer. Troy and Gabriella stayed together throughout college, and he got a job in finance after graduating while Gabriella continued her studies on the way to become a doctor. She’s currently doing her residency in San Francisco, where they both live, and Troy is planning to propose to her, but he enlists the help of the Wildcats to help him pull off an epic proposal.

The CBS Version

Gabriella is a forensic scientist working in Chicago, when she gets a call from Connecticut Senator Taylor McKessie who heard through the grapevine that their East High classmate Zeke is missing. Sharpay, Troy and Chad have been secretly trying to get to the bottom of his disappearance, but they fear the worst and believe he’s been killed. Taylor urges Gabriella to go back to Albuquerque to help them, and a reluctant Gabriella heads home – but uneasy about not only Zeke’s possible death, but facing Troy again after their horrible break-up in 2013.

The Logo Version

Since Kelsi and Ryan attended Julliard together, they became best friends and eventually both came out as gay (much to the surprise to no one). They live together in Chelsea and are like a modern day Will & Grace except they’re both gay and live in a much more ramshackled apartment. Kelsi makes a living as a pianist in various orchestra pits on and off Broadway, while Ryan teaches youth theatre in New Jersey. They both lament about their love lives (or non-existent ones) constantly and are frequently visited by Sharpay, a celebrity stylist, and Martha, who owns her own dance studio in Brooklyn. Token straight couple Troy and Gabriella are married and have a baby on the way, which is a bit of an annoyance to Kelsi and Ryan, who are convinced Troy and Gabriella are going to become the most obnoxious parents and won’t ever have time to hang out with them again.

The Bravo Version

Sharpay lands a role as a stepsister in the Cinderella revival, but after the show closes, she lets the ego get to her head, and hasn’t booked a role in over a year. She’s been married to famed New York chef/restauranteur Zeke for two years and is simultaneously going on audition after audition while also building her new clothing company, while specifically caters to divorcees who have a penchant for glitter and bedazzled dresses. The movie is filmed reality TV style and features cameos from her gay brother Ryan, married couple Taylor and Chad and fighting exes Troy and Gabriella, who live in Long Island.

The Freeform Version

Like the Disney Channel version, but more sex and targeted to “becomers”. Special appearance by Ashley Benson and Shay Mitchell as Gabriella’s roommates in Manhattan.

The Netflix Version

Broken up into 6 hour and a half long episodes, each installment focuses on one of the main characters in the HSM franchise. Shot documentary style, we get a close look at Taylor’s journey on the campaign trail with Hillary Clinton, Chad’s new sober life after overcoming an addiction to painkillers, Sharpay and Ryan’s life in London as they debut their new musical in the West End, Gabriella’s work as a biochemical engineer working to create a cure for cancer, and Troy’s unexpected rise to stardom after starring in an indie film that was nominated for an Oscar, becoming Hollywood’s next big star.

The AMC Version

Basically Breaking Bad, but Ryan is Walter White and Kelsi is Jesse Pinkman. Taylor is Gale, Gabriella is Skyler, Troy is Mike and Sharpay is Badger.

8Mar2016

Lady Mary: One Well-Dressed Bitch

Posted in Entertainment, Outfit Girl by Molly

Minor spoiler from the second-to-last episode of Downton Abbey: Mary Crawley is a bitch.

Okay, that’s less a spoiler and more a fact that we’ve all known since – I don’t know, probably since she helped conceal the corpse of a certain Turkish diplomat.

But in the penultimate episode, Edith finally (FINALLY!) called Mary out on it, and damn, it felt good.

Lady Mary isn’t without her better qualities, though. She’s shown real personal growth after losing her sister Sybil and Matthew, her cousin who she was also married to. She takes good care of little George, or employs people who are good at taking care of him anyway. Lady Mary has an open mind toward all religions, and really nice eyebrows besides. Yet above all, Edith was right: Lady Mary is kind of a bitch – but such a well dressed one!

Shortly after we meet Mary, she establishes herself as the fashionable one with this crisp menswear-inspired riding outfit. Around this time, she also disposes of the body of a man that she slept with after the cousin she was supposed to marry dies on the Titanic.

Still very much in that pre-war, 1910s fashion, Mary wears a beautifully beaded gown that is just starting to show the more streamlined Art Deco look. She also complains that Cousin Matthew, who didn’t ask for any of this, can’t hold a knife.

Mary, in a very Rose Dewitt Bukater- appropriate evening dress, waits to accept Matthew’s proposal until she finds out whether her mother’s having a boy, in which case Matthew wouldn’t have access to that sweet Crawley money.

Moving on to season two (series two if you’re nasty), the world is at war and Mary shows her respect for that situation with these demure separates that are starting to almost look like modern clothes. She also shows her respect for that situation by getting engaged to a newspaper man who will cover up the Pamuk cover-up.

Wearing her signature color (the blood of angry men), Mary breaks into the postwar period with a full, layered skirt, unlike the closer fitting gowns we usually see her in. The perfect dress for getting engaged to your cousin after you’re pretty happy that his fiancee died.

A few important developments: Mary and Matthew finally tie the knot; Downton Abbey is in peril because Lord Grantham spent all his money on yellow labs named after figures in Egyptian mythology; the 1920s finally arrive and with it, the drop waisted dress. Mary’s Art Nouveau hairpiece is so perfectly early ’20s. The whole wedding was beautifully nostalgic, and Mary’s dress reminds me of my great-grandparents’ wedding pictures from the 1910s and ’20s. (Like the Abbey itself, or an item that Lady Mary should have carried on her wedding day, I AM SOMETHING OLD.)

Lady Mary really made you like her in season 3. Not only does she help save Downton from ruin by encouraging Matthew to accept his inheritance from Reggie Swire – AND suffer the loss of Sybil, the noblest of all the Crawleys – she also acts reasonably supportive of Edith when she finally gets her chance at the altar. To celebrate the occasion, Mary wore her springlike best: a wide-brimmed hat, a light cyan lace dress with chiffon sleeves, drop pearl earrings, and an oh-so-20s layered pearl necklace. Then Edith got jilted. GOD. Not the topic of this post, but Poor Edith, right?

All of that work getting us to feel for Lady Mary was leading up to Matthew’s death. Thanks, Downton. The first half of the season is just a lot of black mourning dresses, a custom I’d ALMOST like to see brought back. It was a bit too rigid and sometimes you want to wear a color, but it’s a nice visual reminder that someone’s going through something so maybe you should go a bit easier on them.

That’s why it’s such a big moment when Mary busts out the partial mourning dresses and shows up to lunch in a lilac frock. You really feel for Mary – she doesn’t want to be a hard or cold person, she feels like that’s just how she IS. Of course, that calculating, chilly demeanor can really help you out in business, and Mary proves herself savvy in handling Matthew’s estate.

In the early ’20s, like today, the faux bob was popular with people who weren’t quite ready for the big chop. Mary’s ALMOST got the Jazz Age look down (meanwhile poor Anna is still being forced to dress like she’s from a Beatrix Potter picture book)… but just wait…

SHE’S GONE AND BOBBED HER HAIR. Well, I’ll be. And it looks great! It’s an open-minded hairstyle for an open-minded Mary, who has no problem cavorting with Lord Gillingham then dumping him when she realizes he’s too stupid for her. I mean, she does also tell Tom to stop rolling with that newfangled hussy Sarah Bunting, so in some ways she’s still the old Mary.

The bitch is back: Mary, pictured here in a phenomenal red hat, thinks Edith should stop hanging out with Marigold. Although admittedly, the whole Marigold thing would seem a bit weird if you didn’t know the back-story.

I cannot get enough of this fur-trimmed coat and especially that phenomenal hat! It all looks so warm. Almost warm enough to melt Mary’s chilly heart, but who are we kidding, it’s a coat not a miracle.

By the final season, Mary is dating a driver – and with that come driving accessories! Check out the duster coat, the cloche that even looks expensive, and the buttery leather gloves. THIS is an outfit that says “character development”: but don’t worry, Mary is still quite contrary.

I NEED THIS GOWN. No, really. I need this gown. I have a 1920s-themed wedding to go to this year and nothing to wear. Also, this is the perfect picture to comment on another aspect of Mary’s personality: she’s not exactly a girls’ girl – except arguably her semi-purchased friendship with Anna.

Faults aside, I still really loved Mary’s character and wanted her to find happiness. Here she is at her second wedding, all Art Deco lines and accordian pleats. As one final bitchy act, she informs Edith’s love interest that – gasp! – Edith is only weirdly obsessed with the little girl who lives with her because the little girl who lives with her is her daughter.

By the end of the series, everything is patched up with the Crawley sisters, Mary and Edith are both happily wed, and the Downton Home For Half-Orphaned Children will be in the family for years to come. In a final ground-breaking 1920s fashion move, Mary is the first person on the show to wear sunglasses – though with the amount of shade she throws, it’s amazing that she needs them.

7Mar2016

Frank Underwood v. Donald Trump: A War of Words

Posted in Entertainment, Miscellany by Traci

Like many others, I spent my weekend watching the new season of House of Cards. However, I’m trying to take my time with it and I’m only three episodes into the new season (**no spoilers please!!**). However, after watching the third episode, bells started ringing in my head and I looked into the non-existant camera to break the fourth wall and share my inner monologue.

In the third ep, President Frank Underwood is in the middle of his re-election campaign, and on the day of the primary in his home state of South Carolina, the billboard which usually welcomes visitors into his hometown was taken over by a giant photo showing his father posing with a member of the KKK. And this all happened the day after he gave a rousing speech at a predominantly black church.

Underwood comes forward with the truth – or a version of the truth. He admits the photo is indeed real, but the story he tells explaining it (his dad was basically forced to take the pic to secure a loan to save the family farm) may or may not be the truth.

And of course my mind wandered to politics IRL, where we’re in the middle of our own presidential primaries and it turns out that people are voting for Donald Trump. It feels like we’re in a fictionalized version of America, but instead, we’re living in a real, non-fictional world where the frontrunner for the Republican party in the upcoming presidential election might possibly have ties with the KKK. You’ve probably heard by now, but in a nutshell, David Duke, former leader of the KKK, warned Americans that “voting against Donald Trump at this point is really treason to your heritage.” During an interview with CNN, Trump was asked whether he would condemn Duke and all white supremacists who plan on voting for him, to which Trump sideswiped the question and insisted he “doesn’t know anything about David Duke.” Apparently he forgot about all the time he did know something about David Duke. Since then, Trump has covered his tracks by insisting he “disavows” Duke, but hasn’t really elaborated on it.

The other interesting tie-in to HoC is that Trump’s father, Fred Trump (you know, the one who loaned The Donald a “small, $1 million loan“), also has a history with the KKK. In 1927, he was arrested after a klan riot in Queens, where 1,000 Klansmen & sympathizers of the Italian fascist movement marched through the borough, eventually sparking a fight with anti-fascists in the neighborhood. Two men were killed and seven were arrested, one of those seven men was Fred Trump. It’s not clear what Fred was doing there, what side he was on (if any) or if he was just an innocent bystander. One report suggests Fred was arrested “on a charge of refusing to disperse from a parade when ordered to do so.” So was Donald’s father a KKK sympathizer, and/or Italian fascist sympathizer? We don’t know for sure. Here’s a couple of things we do know: A) Fred and his Trump organization were hit with a civil rights suit by the U.S. Justice Department’s Civil Rights Division in 1973, accusing Fred and his org of refusing to rent to black people. B) Donald recently retweeted a Mussolini on Twitter – after Gawker secretly set him up.

"@ilduce2016: “It is better to live one day as a lion than 100 years as a sheep.” – @realDonaldTrump #MakeAmericaGreatAgain"

— Donald J. Trump (@realDonaldTrump) February 28, 2016

In an interview with Meet the Press, Donald admitted he wasn’t aware the quote he retweeted was by Mussolini, and frankly didn’t care that it was said by the world’s most popular fascist (despite critics pointing out that Donald’s politics and oratory are v. similar).

“It’s a very good quote. I didn’t know who said it, but what difference does it make if it was Mussolini or somebody else – it’s a very good quote.” When asked if he wanted to be associated with Mussolini, he said, “No. I want to be associated with interesting quotes. Hey, it got your attention, didn’t it?”

So let’s try this out. I’ve got compiled a bunch of “interesting quotes” and let’s see whether you can tell the difference between a fictional, depraved politician who lit’rally killed both humans and an animal on his way to become president or if the quote is attributed to the real businessman-turned-politician who is entertaining his way to the top (highlight the text between the two arrows for the answer. If you’re on mobile, highlight the text and press ‘speak’ for a real good time).

“Democracy is so overrated.”

⇓

⇒ Frank Underwood⇐

“Part of being a winner is knowing when to walk away.”

⇓

⇒ Donald Trump ⇐

⇓

“Good people don’t go into government.”

⇓

⇒ Donald Trump ⇐

“I’ll tell you this though. When they bury me, it won’t be in my backyard. And when they pay their respects, they’ll have to wait in line.”

⇓

⇒ Frank Underwood ⇐

“I play to people’s fantasies… That’s why a little hyperbole never hurts.”

⇓

⇒ Donald Trump ⇐

“It’s always good to do things nice and complicated so that nobody can figure it out.”

⇓

⇒ Donald Trump ⇐

“I will not be a placeholder president. I will win and I will leave a legacy.”

⇓

⇒ Frank Underwood ⇐

“I’d push him down the stairs and light his broken body on fire just to watch it burn if it wouldn’t start a world war.”

⇓

⇒ Frank Underwood ⇐

⇓

“The point is, you can never be too greedy.”

⇓

⇒ Donald Trump ⇐

“My motto is: Always get even. When somebody screws you, screw them back in spades.”

⇓

⇒ Donald Trump ⇐

⇓

“Nobody’s a boy scout. Not even boy scouts.”

⇓

⇒ Frank Underwood ⇐

“The more economic difficulties increase, the more immigrations will be seen as a burden.”

⇓

⇒ Trick question this was said by Hitler ⇐

4Mar2016

Leslie Knope 2016: Yes We Can’t Not Knope

Posted in Entertainment by Molly

I think the least politically charged thing I can say right now is that I won’t be voting for Donald Trump. It’s amazing: a distaste for The Donald has actually managed to unite both the political right and the political left in America. Yet somehow, Donald Trump has the highest delegate count in the Republican primaries! But maybe, just maybe, the problem isn’t that people love the Drumpf. Maybe people just aren’t excited about the alternatives. But whether you’re a Republican who isn’t on the Cruz Cruise, or a Democrat who’s not feeling the Bern, I have an alternative we can all agree on – Leslie Knope. Not convinced? Keep reading:

Leslie Knope loves America more than all of the current candidates put together:
Plus, she accidentally legalized gay penguin marriage :
Her presidential portrait would be AMAZING:
Knope didn’t back down from Eagleton; won’t back down from international aggressors either:
Would redecorate the Oval Office like the Gryffindor common room:

Has real red state/blue state cross-appeal:
Good at being yelled at, an important skill for any public figure:
And she’s not afraid to take political punches:
Finally, there would be campaign ads we’d want to see:

She’d be a blast on the campaign trail:
Can you imagine the activities at the White House Easter Egg Roll?
We’d finally see the executive branch go HAM on the Library of Congress:
But we’d also have a president who respects the people who keep America going:
She’d deliver the BEST speeches on the campaign trail:

The Knope campaign wouldn’t end until victory was won:
Would have the MRA movement shut down with a single withering glance:
Yet she’d still speak to the traditional set in terms they can understand:
Leslie Knope knows what it takes to get America on your side:

AND she knows how things really go down in Washington:
Possible fictional running mate – Tami Taylor. Just saying.
Leslie already knew she was going to be President, so we may as well get on board:
Besides, it’s going to happen eventually, anyway:

3Mar2016

Leo Memes Make Me Feel Fine: An Oscar Doesn’t Mean That They Die

Posted in Entertainment, Miscellany by Traci

Hey guys. Remember when Leo won an Academy Award? And we were alive to witness it? Yeah, me too. It’s Thursday and I’m still not over it, so I’m going to keep riding this Leo high for a few more days (weeks, months, years, etc.). Three years ago, we wrote about how the Internet loves Leo. Or rather loves making memes about Leo. Obviously included with that were the famous Oscar memes, in which he just can’t catch a break. Things like:

Since it’s been 20+ years that Leo’s been an Oscar contender, it was only natural his loyal and Internet-savvy fans turn him into a viral meme. But now that the whole Internet has exploded and celebrated his win, what happens to the Oscar memes now?

http://acridsarcasm.tumblr.com/post/140217383326

That, apparently. But guess what – memes don’t die. Memes never die. That’s kind of the point. While the fact that Leo grabbing for the gold or outraged that he didn’t have a trophy yet won’t be relevant, that doesn’t mean the Leo memes will stop. It means there’s a whole new set of memes about Leo actually winning an Oscar, or what we’ve seen in the past couple of days, memes of Leo at the Oscars while waiting for his Oscar.

https://www.tumblr.com/letters-mingle-souls/140201202003/leonardo-gets-nominated-but-never-wins-an

Enter: Leo Cookiegate 2016. If you missed the Oscars (read our live blog so you can talk about it with others as if you actually had), Chris Rock pulled a food stunt a la Ellen’s 2014 pizza bit, where he had a group of Girl Scouts, supposedly for his daughters who were not present, sell cookies to the audience of celebrities. Actors in the audience pulled out cash (change for $100?), Morgan Freeman just stole a couple from Chris at the end of the show and walked away, while this glorious shot of our beloved Leo shows that he got his hands on a box of trefoils (what, they were out of thin mints?) and boy, was he excited.

Naturally, the Internet needed a new Leo meme to focus on, and this seemed like the right choice. Bless his cute little hungry face. Bless us. Bless the Academy for finally making a right decision for once. Bless Chris Rock’s daughters for inspiring this bit that keeps on giving.

View post on imgur.com

That fucking bear won’t leave him alone.

origami helps calm his nerves

it’s a perfectly subtle homage to his accidental (?) middle finger during his acceptance speech, and it’s perfect.

i am the one who wins an oscar!

leo stole buzz lightyear after he presented an award earlier in the show. mark ruffalo stole woody.

actors so hungry they eat anything

and of course

Congrats again, Leo. Here’s one gif that will never go out of style:

2Mar2016

Back To Titanic: A Kate And Leo Retrospective

Posted in Entertainment by Molly

Like so many of our generation, we have a never-ending love of the Kate Winslet/Leonardo DiCaprio friendship. Since the days when we didn’t have the internet at home and had to horde copies of magazines to get our Jack and Rose fix, they’ve always been either friendship or relationship goals. It started with the fun stories of behind-the-scenes antics on the set of Titanic, and Kate and Leo’s frequent awards show appearances only fueled the flames. Mercifully, since 1997 both of them have been consistently on the nominee or presenter block – unless one or the other was working, that is – so we’ve had plenty of mini-reunions to fawn over. Some of us actually ship them as a real life couple. Others think shipping real humans is creepy, but love the good-natured platonic friendship between two talented actors. Whatever it is, the Winslet-DiCaprio friendship is pure magic.

With no further ado .. are you ready to go back to Titanic?

1996

Behind the scenes: Titanic: in retrospect I realized why Kate hated that wig / hairpiece/ dye job situation.

Settle in, because Titanic was where it all started and I can’t get enough of these behind the scenes photos.

Kate is warming up from the chilly water tank; Leo is exhibiting the classic Hot Boy In The Mid-90s Haircut.

I will bet you anything that Kate and Leo are responsible for some of the first viral gifs in internet history, spreading rapidly across angelfire and geocities sites alike.

Okay, last one. Only because some of you may have slow-loading computers. I could do this all day.

1997

Tiny baby Leo talking about Little Kate:

Not to be outdone, Kate had some choice words about Leo:

1998

Golden Globes: it’s hard to believe these two seemed so grown-up to us at the time, because right here they look like a pair of (rich, elegant) babies.

Kate and Leo, out to wreck us since day 1.

Let’s watch that in action, why don’t we?

2000

Important news in 2000: Kate could still recognize Leo by his walk; she worried about him cavorting with the Pussy Posse; all is well in their friendship:

I saw Leo the other day. I was at a party for Quills. Me and Jim were leaning up against the bar and this posse of boys came in wearing masks and Halloween gear. I recognised him from the way he walked. He ripped his mask off. He hadn’t changed a bit. Of course, he’s famous, one of the most famous actors in the world. But he’s the same person and I’d been so worried about him. He still does care about everything he does. He hasn’t just become some bullshit film star

2004

As one did in 2004, Leo reveals all on Oprah:

2005

SAG Awards: just two unusually talented and good-looking people expressing their friendship; nothing to see here.

2007

Golden Globes: back in 1998 US Weekly would have captioned this photo “They’ll never let go… of their friendship!” and I would have hung it up in my locker.

If Kate and Leo are living their whole Awards Season lives making up for Leo not attending the 1998 Academy Awards, I think that’s fine and appropriate.

On the set of Revolutionary Road. Or: if Rose and Jack had survived into mid-century.

2008

Revolutionary Road UK premiere: Kate and Leo reunite on screen, proving that fan service exists in real life, too.

U.S. premiere, Kate totally just made fun of James Cameron (I imagine).

Promoting Revolutionary Road. We’re all bigger now, Kate. Because of this friendship.

And in case you need the whole interview:

Too long; didn’t listen? Here’s what you need to know:

Well, I think I can speak for both of us: we have a lot more wrinkles. Don’t we, darling? I’m proud of him, though. I can’t say that you’re taller, because you were always tall. He’s a man now; look at him — he’s just bigger. Physically you aren’t that different; you’re just less puny. – Kate Winslet

She’s still as beautiful and radiant as the day I met her. She is the consummate professional; she keeps pushing herself to an emotional truth when she’s working. That’s why I keep saying she’s the best. – Leonardo DiCaprio

2009

Golden Globes: Leo reacting to Kate’s Revolutionary Road win – their long-awaited onscreen reunion. BE STILL MY HEART (OF THE OCEAN)

Wait, do you want to see Kate thank Leo? Of course you do!

Golden Globes: Kate and Leo after she wins for The Reader. Yes, you read that correctly. Yes, she’s THAT talented. Damn, Kate. Damn.

Oscars: Leo wasn’t there but he’s here in Kate’s heart and her heart will go on and on.

Some situations are so delicate that I’d only trust Oprah with them:

2011

God bless Anna Wintour. From Kate’s Vogue Magazine profile:

He knows me better than anyone else in the world. Lots of male friendships begin as a cheeky snog. Or a little undercurrent of flirtation. But Leo and I? No. He’s my rock. I don’t know what the f–k I would have done if I hadn’t had him. – Kate Winslet

We literally grew up together. And in every major life event we’ve been there as a support mechanism for each other. – Leonardo DiCaprio

2012

Titanic was re-released in 3D; Kate kindly graced us with some fresh behind-the-scenes anecdotes:

2013

Leo FINALLY confronts the rumors plaguing him since 1997 (that Kate nicknamed him “Farty Leo,” which I don’t actually remember, which is surprising?):

She never says that to my face. She’s the greatest person. She’s so genuine. I love that girl. She has a brand-new baby and is in love.

Because Kate and Leo CANNOT STOP TALKING ABOUT EACH OTHER (or, um, maybe it’s that we can’t stop asking?) Kate had this to say about Leo in 2013:

Leo has mastered this more than anyone I know. it’s not that he’s sort of brazen like, ‘I don’t give a fuck and I’m going to be rebellious and behave badly.’ It’s not that. It’s genuinely not caring what people think because he will not allow other people’s judgments to have any kind of impact on his life and who he is. and I have really admired that so much in him .

Also in 2013: the one thing that really softened the blow of Kate marrying a man who chose the surname Rocknroll — Leo walked her down the aisle. What does swooning feel like? Because I think I just did it.

2014

Theo or Leo? Considering we all know who Leo is and Theo is either a Huxtable or the name of a lot of babies lately, I think we all know the answer. And Kate doesn’t hesitate, either:

2016

Golden Globes: Number 1, how dare you.

More Golden Globes: I will go down with this ship.

And let’s not forget our own freak-out during our Golden Globes live blog after Leo’s name was announced for Best Actor:

T: YASSSSSSSSSS WHERE IS KATE. WHERE IS KATE. WHERE IS KATE.

M: YAYYY! But does this mean he’ll be even more cursed for the Oscars? Can they please show Kate? SHOW KATE.

IS KATE OKAY. WHERE IS SHE.

T: MAYBE SHE’S PASSED OUT BC THE LOVE OF HER LIFE JUST WON A GOLDEN GLOBE.

M: Yeah maybe she’s hidden behind a camera taking pics for her scrapbook.

T: Kate is at Eddie Redmayne’s table (I THINK) so like, just PAN OVER.

M: THANK KATE. I don’t care that she wasn’t in this.

T: I THOUGHT WHEN HE SAID “LASTLY” THAT IT WAS GOING TO END WITH “KATE WINSLET, WHO HAS BEEN WITH ME AND IN MY HEART SINCE 1996.”

M: I SAW. DID YOU SEE.

T: NO UGH I WAS LOOKING FOR LEO GIFS

M: He thanked the makeup artist or something and you could see a fuzzy Kate Winslet calling out a “woo!” so I like to think she was there just cheering at every damn thing he said.

T: I REWOUND IT. THIS IS THE GREATEST.

SAG Awards: What are you trying to do to me here?

Oscars: how is it possible that they both look even BETTER 20 years after filming Titanic? And how is it possible that Titanic was filmed 20 years ago?