There is nothing that makes you feel more old when a kid references something that you don’t understand. You know, when you think the person had a stroke in saying something to you, but instead, you take note and look it up on Urban Dictionary later only to find out it’s something either extremely sexual or not at all what you thought.
I was watching the BET Hip Hop Awards earlier this week, when a rapper named IHeartMemphis (apparently he’s just going by Memphis now), performed his hit song Hit The Quan which comes complete with a funky dance. Legit the only other time I had heard of it was when Hayes Grier (look him up, grandma) mentioned it on Dancing With The Stars (haters to the left) and I was like… is that English? Not only is it English, but it’s becoming the new hit that will be overplayed in approx 4 weeks and soon we’ll be seeing people who shouldn’t be doing the Quan doing it anyways.
But of course, this isn’t the first time a novelty dance has swept the nation/world. It’s become a pop culture milestone once a song reaches a certain level of popularity, and here are just some of the most memorable ones throughout the years.
Whip/Nae Nae
If you’re just catching on to the Whip/Nae Nae now, just be aware it will be over in a few weeks before the Quan takes over. The Whip/Nae Nae, to Silento’s Watch Me, actually is one of the few songs on this list that includes other famous dance moves from novelty songs, such as the superman, stanky leg, and bop. That doesn’t make it any less stupid.
Macarena
The year is 1996. A song called Macarena by Los Del Rio hits the radio and a young Traci in Western New York, who thinks it’s cool to be able to buy cassette tapes and CDs, purchases the cassette single of Macarena to… practice the dance? The Macarena became a hit in my house and all over the world, and a number one track on multiple music charts. It was played at school dances, weddings, sports arenas, basically anywhere you could listen to music. Not knowing the moves was considered sacrilege, like a betrayal to the human race. But since it was in Spanish, most people never really knew what the song was really about, and it’s kind of disturbing.
It was inspired by a flamenco teacher, and in the song they sing, “Dale a tu cuerpo alegría, Ma’dalena, que tu cuerpo e’ pa’ darle alegría y cosa’ buena'” (“Give your body some joy, Magdalene, ’cause your body is for giving joy and good things too”). In Andalusian culture, naming a woman “Magdalena” is associating her with Mary Magdalene and her sordid (prostitute) past, suggesting the woman is sassy or sensuous.
Teach Me How To Dougie
Cali Swag District actually wants to teach you how to dougie. So much so that they put the instructions into the lyrics of the song. 1) You need a “beat that’s super bumping”. 2) Back it up and dump it. 3) Put your arms out from and lean side to side 4) They gon’ be on you when they see you hit that dougie right. 5) All the bitches will love you.
Tootsee Roll
This song is my youth. MY YOUTH, I SAY! I was 9 years old when the 69 Boyz released this jam (hahahaha everything about that) and I remember it being a popular song with me and my friends and we’d constantly reference it. I certainly wasn’t aware of what I was singing and dancing along to, all I knew was that I liked it, and damnit, I still like it. This music video tho.
Superman
As previously mentioned, the Whip/Nae Nae mentions the Superman aka Crank That (Soulja Boy) by Soulja Boy, which for some reason I can’t believe was released 8 years ago. Anyways, Soulja Boy was just 17 when the song reached number one and became an international hit. So why has it taken me so long to find out “Crank That” is also a euphemism for masturbation???? This, from Genius.com, so obviously accurate.
Gangnam Style
Who knew that a K-Pop star could take the world by storm with a song that’s not in English and a music video that barely makes any sense? With over 2.43 billion views on YouTube, this is the most watched vid on the site, but really, my favorite Gangnam Style vid has to go to SNL’s sketch featuring Bobby Moynihan as Psy and Hader as the weird dude in the elevator. Comedy gold.
Harlem Shake
So we know the actual Harlem Shake dance is actually nothing like these “meme” that went viral a few years ago, but I was still confused when this first came out. I was expecting this but instead got a bunch of idiots making their own version of the madness that is the Harlem Shake. But this one, featuring the cast of Happy Endings (RIP) is one of the best.
We’re still listening to Hamilton non-stop, and it’s time to break down another song. Last time it was The Schuyler Sisters, and today I chose Ten Duel Commandments. As before, lyrics are in italics and lines that we’re expounding on are in bold. If I didn’t get an idea or fact out of the (finally not-so-useless) history and rap references swirling around my brain, the source is credited.
[MEN] One, two, three, four
[FULL COMPANY] Five, six, seven, eight, nine…
References not just the “ten duel commandments” but also the count to ten paces before turning and firing.
Repeated in Take A Break, The World Was Wide Enough, Blow Us All Away. [source: genius.com]
But also: the 1-9 count is repeated in French – only by Eliza with Philip – in Take A Break and Stay Alive (Reprise).
[BURR/HAMILTON/LAURENS/LEE] It’s the Ten Duel Commandments
We all know this one:
But also: dueling WAS super-codified and regimented. A Code Duello was a treatise explaining rules in hand-to-hand combat, and the 10 Duel Commandments is just the last in a long line, after a few centuries’ break.
[FULL COMPANY] It’s the Ten Duel Commandments Number one!
[LAURENS] The challenge: demand satisfaction If they apologize, no need for further action
Satisfaction, in a dueling context, refers to restoring your honor after a slight or an offense.
But Lin Manuel Miranda wouldn’t just leave it there, of course. Notice how he weaves satisfied/satisfaction in other contexts throughout the show: in Angelica’s assertions in Satisfied, as well as Hamilton’s. There’s a running theme that Hamilton’s greatest strength and downfall is his inability to be satisfied with his station at any given point.
This extends to Burr, always clawing his way up the political ladder; as well as Angelica, who made a calculated choice to pass on Hamilton; Phillip, who couldn’t let an insult rest; and, in later years, Eliza:
I’m not crying, you’re crying.
[COMPANY] Number two!
[LAURENS] If they don’t, grab a friend, that’s your second
[HAMILTON] Your lieutenant when there’s reckoning to be reckoned
“The seconds’ duty, above all, was to try to reconcile the parties without violence. An offended party sent a challenge through his second.” [Source: PBS]
Double meaning time: a lieutenant is a subordinate acting in their superior’s stead.. but also, Hamilton was a Lieutenant Colonel.
[COMPANY] Number three!
[LEE] Have your seconds meet face to face
[BURR] Negotiate a peace…
[HAMILTON] Or negotiate a time and place
A part of every duel: in the Lee/Laurens duel, it was Edwards and Hamilton who met and negotiated a time and place (“half past three,” in a “wooded situae.” Quaint). [source: Founders Online archives]
[BURR] This is commonplace, ‘specially ‘tween recruits
[COMPANY] Most disputes die, and no one shoots
Burr’s right: dueling was downright trendy in the 18th century, especially among the young men of the British gentry. I’m picturing 1700s-style Rich Kids Of Instagram who would be wearing pastel shorts and Oxford shirts with rolled sleeves today. Just a couple bros, their firearms, and their tender, tender egos.
By the late 18th century, dueling was particularly popular among members of the military. ‘Tween recruits.
Number four!
[LAURENS] If they don’t reach a peace, that’s alright Time to get some pistols and a doctor on site
[HAMILTON] You pay him in advance, you treat him with civility
[BURR] You have him turn around so he can have deniability
Part of the typical Code Duello included having a surgeon on site, preferably one with experience with gunshot wounds. Again, the goal was not to have one guy shoot the other guy dead, just to prove that you had the balls to face getting shot dead to uphold your “honor.” BROS. EGOS.
[Source: Pistols At Dawn: A History Of Dueling]
Dueling was illegal, and by turning around the doctor could not be called as a witness (or, presumably, hailed as an accessory).
[COMPANY] Five!
[LEE] Duel before the sun is in the sky
Before the sun is in the sky: duels were conducted at dawn for a few reasons. First, to prevent rash decisions: from the Irish Code Duello – “Challenges are never to be delivered at night, unless the party to be challenged intend leaving the place of offense before morning; for it is desirable to avoid all hot-headed proceedings.”
Second, at dawn, neither party had the advantage/disadvantage of the sun being in their face.
Third, police were often in bed.
And finally, it would be harder for witnesses to spot the duelers.
[COMPANY] Pick a place to die where it’s high and dry
Hamilton and Burr’s duel site – also used by Hamilton’s son Phillip – fits the description. This might be an old-school application of the mom-tested rule that when splitting a piece of cake, one person gets to cut it and one gets to choose. In the Code Duello, one party chose the ground and the other the distance. If you choose soggy oceanfront property to duel on, you just up your own chances of getting stuck in the mud or staggering into the water.
The Weehawken site, for instance, was chosen because it was a high ledge only accessible by water – choosing a high location might have meant that a Colonial villager didn’t accidentally stumble upon your duel.
“This line mirrors Biggie’s line of “Don’t get high on your own supply.”” [Source: genius.com]
Number six!
[HAMILTON] Leave a note for your next of kin Tell ‘em where you been.
Pray that hell or heaven lets you in
Two drafts of Hamilton’s final note to Eliza exist. You wouldn’t want to tell your wife beforehand, because (a) no way is she going to let that go down, and (b) plausible deniability.
From Hamilton’s letter: “Heaven can preserve me and I humbly hope will; but, in the contrary event, I charge you to remember that you are a Christian. God’s will be done! ” [source: Trinity Wall Street.org]
And also: “Fly to the bosom of your God and be comforted. With my last idea; I shall cherish the sweet hope of meeting you in a better world. Adieu best of wives and best of Women. Embrace all my darling Children for me.” [source: it’s hamiltime!]
Great, now we’re all crying.
[COMPANY] Seven!
[LEE] Confess your sins.
Ready for the moment of adrenaline when you finally face your opponent
The colonies, at this point, are mostly Mainline Protestant – just Catholic-y enough that absolution before death was kind of a thing.
The opponents would arrive separately to the site so only saw each other shortly before go time.
[COMPANY] Number eight!
[LAURENS/LEE/HAMILTON/BURR] Your last chance to negotiate Send in your seconds, see if they can set the record straight…
[BURR] Alexander
[HAMILTON] Aaron Burr, sir
Just a nice little callback to Aaron Burr, Sir earlier in the show.
As we mentioned earlier, Edwards was actually Lee’s second, but whatever, this works.
[BURR] Can we agree that duels are dumb and immature?
[HAMILTON] Sure But your man has to answer for his words, Burr
[BURR] With his life? We both know that’s absurd, sir
Fun fact, unless you’re Alexander Hamilton: the man was not that keen on dueling. In the Lee/Laurens duel, he tried to advocate against it and then successfully stopped a second shot from being fired after Lee was injured. [Source: Founders Online archive.]
[HAMILTON] Hang on, how many men died because Lee was inexperienced and ruinous?
[BURR] Okay, so we’re doin’ this
Oh, when he shit the bed at the Battle of Monmouth (see: Stay Alive)? Literally hundreds, all because Lee wouldn’t follow directions. From George Washington. Who by all accounts was pretty good at leading things … you know, like revolutions and America. [Source: History Net]
[COMPANY] Number nine!
[HAMILTON] Look ‘em in the eye, aim no higher Summon all the courage you require Then count
[MEN] One two three four
[FULL COMPANY] Five six seven eight nine
[HAMILTON/BURR] Number
[COMPANY] Ten paces!
[HAMILTON/BURR] Fire!
The Code Duello said that you couldn’t play chicken and fire at the air.
But of course, Hamilton threw away his shot, and even stated his intent to do so before the duel.
The reunion issue of Entertainment Weekly came out last week, and we got to see what the casts of Bring It On, Felicity, Family Ties and more are up to now. This issue is one of my favorite annual issues from EW, especially when they cover shows or movies I’m particularly interested like Gilmore Girls or Clueless or The West Wing (have you SEEN the vid of Bradley & Janel talking about present-day Josh & Donna?!). There are of course millions of things to choose from when it comes to narrowing it down to a few for each issue, but I too have hopes and wishes for future get togethers by some of my (used-to-be) favorite stars. Here are just some of them.
Good Morning, Miss Bliss
Before Zack and Slater in California, there was Zack and Mikey in Indiana. The latter lasted approx one season, but thanks to the magic of syndication, the 14 episodes were rolled into repeats of Saved by the Bell. This explains why as a kid you saw two middle schoolers – Mikey and Nicki – suddenly turn into high school Slater and Jessie. Call it The Tori Complex, if you will. While we know Zack, Lisa and Screech and even Mr. Belding went on to find fame with SBTB, the actors who played Mikey and Nicki, Max Battimo and Heather Hopper, didn’t quite reach that level. Even Miss Bliss’ teachers Miss Tina Paladrino and maintenance supervisor Mylo Williams had few roles here and there. I think the reunion, more than anything, would be to ask the question – what went wrong with this show?
Notting Hill
When we were growing up in the 90s, Julia Roberts was (and arguably still is) the Queen of Romantic Comedies. After seeing My Best Friend’s Wedding for the first time, I became obsessed both with her and the movie, and when Notting Hill came along, that became my favorite. Like, I have it on VHS currently in my room and have seen it way too many times to remember. Pairing Julia with the King of Romantic Comedies, Hugh Grant, was a no-brainer and they had great chemistry. It also stars a young Mischa Barton, Alec Baldwin AND his 30 Rock frail-boned co-star Emily Mortimer, and the dude from The Wire. But it’s also the first introduction I had to Hugh Bonneville aka Lord Grantham on Downton Abbey, as Bernie, Hugh/Will’s friend. He has a very understated comedic charm to him we don’t get to see as much on Downton.
Ally McBeal
Most of the Ally McBeal cast reunited at the TV Land Awards earlier this year, but I want a full get together with Robert Downey Jr., Jane Krakowski, Lucy Liu, Taye Diggs and Portia De Rossi, otherwise it would be for naught. Also, didn’t know until right now that Renee Elise Goldberry of Hamilton fame played one of Vonda Shepard’s backup singers in the bar throughout the entire series. BRAND NEW INFORMATION. She should be invited to the reunion too.
Ed
Ed, the show about a big town lawyer who moves back to his small hometown and becomes the owner of a bowling alley. This show ran for four seasons and through the entirety of my high school career. I loved this show, but like most programs I watched back in the day, I wasn’t necessarily the target demographic. None the less, the show was a lovely dramedy with sort of a Gilmore Girls vibe. It also produced stars like Modern Family’s Julie Bowen, Michael Ian Black, and a young Justin Long and Ginnifer Goodwin (again, learning so much. I forgot she was in Ed, but very clearly remembered their scenes together in classic He’s Just Not That Into You). Most of these actors have gone on to do great things, but like, where’s Lesley Boone/Molly? Jana Marie Hupp/Nancy (SHE WAS MINDY IN THE ONE WITH BARRY AND MINDY’S WEDDING #COPACABANA).
Rent
I was introduced to Rent when I was approx 13 years old, around the time Rent first hit Broadway. I’d listen to the OBC soundtrack on repeat, and for sentimental reasons, is still one of my favorite musicals. Despite getting together for the polarizing movie and the 10th anniversary show, I will always be available for this OG cast to get together once more. Especially Taye and Idina.
Newsies
Speaking of musicals, Newsies was a childhood staple for many kids my age, and starred a young Christian Bale before he became Batman. If I could just get a current group picture of everyone in this cast in the exact same pose, crutch and all, that would be fantastic.
Dirty Sexy Money
It’s like a given we would all like a reunion of Six Feet Under, so that aside, he’s another addicting show Peter Krause was a part of. I binged this a few years ago when it was still on Netflix Instant, and I don’t even remember why. Maybe it wasPeter I was intrigued by. Then again it was also Donald Sutherland, a girl from Passions, Lucy Liu (again) and William Baldwin. This would be a fun reunion, specifically because it was cancelled after just two seasons with a total of 23 episodes. What happened to this Darling family??
Studio 60 on the Sunset Strip
Is Studio 60 polarizing, too? Probably. Did I watch it because I appreciate Matthew Perry? Of course. Did I expect to like it so much that I bought the DVDs? Absolutely not. Studio 60 had some problems with it, of course, but all the cast members were extremely talented and made the show watchable. Also, Columbus Short, aka Harrison from Scandal was on it, along with Dawn from the British The Office, and it’s weird seeing them not as the characters you most associate them with, despite the fact Scandal came after this show. Anyways.
Laguna Beach
Molly & I didn’t even go to our own high school reunion, so I can’t say I entirely expect the cast of Laguna Beach to take part in a reunion. However, it would be itneresting to see what’s changed dynamics wise. Is Kristin still mad at ‘Stephennnnn’? Does Stephen pine for LC at all? What happened to Christina’s Broadway dreams? Is Trey still the best human on the show (besides LC)?
That Thing You Do
In addition to renting this movie on VHS, for some reason, That Thing You Do! was constantly, or what seemed to be, on repeat on VH1. It wasn’t a blockbuster in the box office, but it wasn’t a flop either. What it does have is a strong, passionate fan base who will be able to sing the titular track for you at a moment’s notice. They’ll know the different between The Wonders and The Oneders, and know how to pronounce the latter. They’ll also want to get the band back together one more time.
2Ge+her
And one final segue – SPEAKING OF BANDS GETTING BACK TOGETHER – I’ve spoken about this before, but as a young lass, I was a teenybopper to the max. BSB was my jam, and that love of boy bands extended to pretty much everyone (except ‘N Sync, duh), including the fake boy band put together on MTV to mock the genre. That ultimately backfired since they had a ‘hit’ song with U+Me = Us (Calculus) and their follow-up hit, The Hardest Part of Breaking Up (Is Getting Back Your Stuff). Both their albums made it into the Billboard top 40, including their sophomore record, 2Ge+her Again, which hit 11. While it wouldn’t be the same without the late Michael Cuccione as part of the reunion, it would be great to see them 2GE+HER AGAIN.
If you’re a redhead – or a ginger, as, in the immortal words of Tim Minchin, only a ginger can call another ginger ginger – somebody has probably already told you about the Ginger Pride Festival. I somehow only got word of it in the past month, and while I will absolutely not be attending, I think I could lend a hand … an ice-cold, pale, freckled hand. I’m not sure what they have planned, but as far as I’m concerned the following features and programming are essential:
Sunscreen Booths
In the same way that Port-a-Potties are included in the price of music festival admissions, sunscreen should be available without extra charge. Booths can offer bottles of sunscreen, or maybe a sunscreen spray-mister. It goes without saying that they will have that unscented, sensitive skin kind that they make for babies with allergies. You know, for those of us whose eyes water and skin burns at adult sunscreen. What can I say, we are not a robust people.
Night Time Pool Party, Volleyball Tournament, and Kickball Competition
Honestly, maybe just skip the outdoor programming altogether during peak Skin Cancer Hours.
“Has Anyone Ever Told You You Look Just Like…” Contest
How is it possible for one person to look like Little Orphan Annie, Christina Hendricks and Jessica Chastain? It isn’t. But if you have red hair, people will tell you that you look like every other ginger, famous or not. In this contest, prizes are awarded for both the person who looks the most like the ginger celeb they’re told they resemble, as well as the person who least resembles their would-be doppelgänger.
Is this Conan O’Brien, or me in 1990? WHO COULD EVEN TELL?
The Burning of Carrot Top in Effigy
He has done such damage to our people’s reputation.
Booths From Ginger-Friendly Dentists And Anesthesiologists
It’s weird but it’s true: redheads require higher doses of anesthetics and pain blockers. When I was getting stitches a few years ago, I eventually pretended that I was numb after 5 shots of local anesthetic so they would get on with it. A redhead-sensitive medical professional could make a pretty penny from all these coppers.
By the way, red hair is caused by a mutation on the melanocortin-1 receptor (MC1r), and the anesthesia thing seems to be linked to the same mutation. But I’m sure you were called “mutant” enough as a child that this isn’t a surprise. The bonus is that we have higher pain tolerance in general – I’m the only person I know who described tattoos over bone as “tickle-y.”
Live Maury Povich Taping: Ginger Pride Festival Edition
Another troublesome effect of that wily MC1R mutation: it can crop up out of nowhere. A random ginger kid showing up in a brown or blonde family has caused scores of parents and children to question parentage. But Maury Povich is on the case, telling yellow- and brown- haired dads that they ARE the father, after all.
Ginger Makeup Demonstrations
Redheads are overlooked in the cosmetics industry. I can’t tell you how many times I came home with the lightest concealer or foundation, only to find that it still overpowered my see-through skin. And if you want to cover up freckles, forget it: advice ranges from “embrace them!” (if that’s what I wanted to do, I wouldn’t be Googling it) to “use a foundation in between the color of your freckles and your regular skin” (yes, I’m sure plastering my face in a color between dark brown and paper-white would make everything blend right in). Also, my kingdom for someone who can show me how to wear a strong eye or lip without looking like a clown. With redhead-friendly cosmetic vendors and live makeup tutorials, I think the world – or at least the mirror – could be a prettier place for gingers.
Caveat: darker-skinned, brown-eyed redheads do seem to look more like humans in makeup.
Round Table: Not All In The Family
A group therapy/gripe session for all those ginger couples who have to deal with the constant assumption that they’re siblings.
Fake Redheads And You
Are you flattered by their imitation hair color, or do you feel like they didn’t earn their place on our team? Do you call anyone a ginger if their hair is currently red, or do they have to be born with it? And do you have a superhuman ability to suss out a fake ginger, scoffing at the Normies who always seem shocked that someone with olive skin and brown eyebrows is a dyer? We have a lot to discuss.
Confronting Stereotypes
It’s enough to make you angry – but it probably doesn’t, because we are TOTALLY NOT ALL HOTHEADS, right? Great. This panel will include such stereotype-defiers as a non-Irish redhead, a chill ginger, a lady redhead who isn’t creeped out by guys with a ginger fetish, a tan ginger, and an actual redheaded stepchild (who is beloved and cherished).
Eyebrow Game
In a world where “brow game strong” and “brows on fleek” (…ugh) are plastered across social media, come commiserate with your comrades who have red hair but inexplicably clear eyebrows. And if you try to color them in with auburn pencil, forget it: you just look like a leprechaun. No matter how you play the brow game, redheads lose every time.
Monday, October 5th marked the 15th anniversary of Gilmore Girls making its debut on the now defunct WB network. It was the beginning of a glorious six seven-season run of what is now considered one of the best TV series in history. We’ve stated our love for GG before – we’ve had a Gilmore Girls theme week leading up to the epic reunion we witnessed IRL at the ATX TV Festival in June WE EVEN MET #LUKEDANESDREAMMAN AND I’M JUST SAYING THAT BECAUSE I STILL DON’T BELIEVE THAT HAPPENED. Needless to say, we’re fans.
15 years ago, this is how the Gilmore Girls marketing was done: a postcard TO BE MAILED IN THE ACTUAL MAIL. pic.twitter.com/hGBBYOdcNQ
GG has been part of my routine ever since I discovered it, and most of the time, if I watch a repeat, watching = doing other stuff while it’s in the background to make me feel comfortable and not alone. One of the reasons why I love the show so much is that there will be times, no matter how many times I’ve seen an ep, in which I’ll catch a joke or background thing or line I’ve never noticed before. It’s a GG mystery that I hope is never solved.
In the spirit of it being the 15th anniversary, I thought I’d revisit the pilot, and take note of all the things I either never noticed or realized before. I’d also like to mention that there is an unaired pilot floating around the Internet somewhere, and I could only find a script for it. However, I did get a hold of a janky clip which shows the original Dean, played by a rando Canadian actor (they shot the pilot in the greater Toronto area). It’s as weird as you think it is. Anyways, on with the show!
VIP Extra
In the first scene in Luke’s, Rory comes in to meet Lorelai and as she comes in the door, a man passes by her as he’s exiting the diner. That guy is Daniel Palladino, executive producer, writer, sometimes director and full-time husband to GG creator Amy Sherman-Palladino.
Gilmore Speed in Slo-Mo
The pilot was obviously written by the one and only ASP, so although the dialogue itself is as consistent as it is throughout the her tenure on the show, it somehow feels a bit less fast-paced than we’re used to seeing in later seasons, and even later on in season one (sidenote: if that clip doesn’t make you tear up you’re not a true Gilly).
Is Lisa Frank Billing the Independence Inn?
I’m assuming the papers Lorelai is going through here are random invoices and the ilk for the inn, so why is one of them rainbow colored and have stickers on it?
Short Skirt Long Jacket
Look, I’m not a prude or anything, but does this skirt seem just a little toooo short for the manager of an inn? It’s quite the juxtaposition to Rory’s moo moo.
Teens Only
I wasn’t aware hayrides were exclusively for teens? Or is this just a Stars Hollow thing? Taylor has some strict rules. Actually, Taylor’s not even in this episode, so maybe he doesn’t even exist yet.
Is The Whole Town Out?
There are way too many extras in this scene, and most of them are completely unnecessary. Stars Hollow has a population of like 1,000-2,000. The town centre is one block. Is this crossing guard wasting his time here?
Crazy Carrie Pulls An Anna Nardini
I think this is the one that gets me the most that I never noticed this, but Rory’s English teacher at Stars Hollow High is played by the same actress who appears as Crazy Carrie (Liz’s friend who’s too into Luke) in seasons four and five!
Mrs. Kim Rebrands
We all know Mrs. Kim’s store is called Kim’s Antiques, as the above establishing shot tells us. But then a second later when the girls are going into the house, it’s named something completely different. The Glass Chimney? What does that even mean? And the sign’s also facing the wrong way? Also, Lane calls Mrs. Kim Mom and not Mama, which is somehow off-putting for me.
What Is Chilton, Anyways?
V old pic of me and my friend recreating this scene from the lorelai’s first day at chilton at greystone manor
When Lor and Sookie tell Rory she’s made it into Chilton, Sook excitedly tells Rory, “I’ll make cookies, Protestants love oatmeal”… is Chilton a Protestant school? Wasn’t aware it had religious affiliations at all.
Pre-Paul Anka
WHO DOES THIS DOG BELONG TO
Lor’s Got A Skirt Problem
“Let me hem it.” “A little. Only a little.” Is one of Lorelai’s establishing characteristics that she really likes short skirts? And Rory doesn’t like short skirts? I don’t get it. Rory tries on her uniform for Chilton and it’s at a really weird length. Not to the ankle but not above the knee. As someone who went to Catholic school for most of my life, uniform skirts were supposed to be just below the knee, but if you were cool, you rolled your skirt up to go above. None of whatever Rory’s wearing rn.
The Pre-Rennovated Gilmore Residence
Just like Luke’s and Lorelai’s house, the Emily & Richard Gilmore mansion is much different than it is in later seasons. Most notably, behind the couch Lor and Rory sit on is a wall, not an open space with stairs leading to the second floor that we’re used to. Also, Emily notes that Chilton is five minutes away from their house
RORY: You know you should check with Miss Patty. She teaches dance. She was actually on Broadway once.
DEAN
I don’t really dance much. {😂😂😂}
RORY: No. She just kind of knows everything that’s happening in town. She’ll know if someone’s looking.
DEAN
Oh. Great. Thanks.
Salad & Coffee Diet
Mark this moment as one, if not the only, time you see the Gilmore girls eating salad. And what’s also disturbing is that Rory is washing it all down with orange juice?
What Year Does Rory Think It Is?
I was in 8th grade when this first aired, so I was aware of fashion trends – but I don’t remember the combat boot/thick sock/tights combo Rory is sporting. Isn’t this more of a 1994 look? And it really bothers me that she put her shoes on her bed to take them off. It’s Connecticut and you walk everywhere, those things have to be so dirty!
My World Crumbles When You Are Not Near
In the beginning of the episode, Rory accuses Lor of stealing her Macy Gray CD (which is already questionable, because they don’t seem like the type to enjoy Macy Gray, and are more prone to make fun of her, but whatever). After Rory and Lor get into a semi-fight about Rory not wanting to go to Chilton after meeting Dean for the first time, Rory has a fit and presses play on her CD player and I Try by Macy Gray comes on. Then it cuts to Lor going into the living room and pressing play on her boom box and I Try starts yet again. Obviously it’s not the radio, but they only have one copy of this CD, no? Unless Lor burned it? Pretty sure she didn’t know how to do that.
How tall are you? Why? You wanna dance?
Rory is 5’7″? She’s tall. Still not as tall as Dean. Or her grandfather.
Another Maid Bites The Dust
The maid sees Lor angrily washing the dishes in the kitchen but doesn’t tell her to stop. I get why Emily would fire her.
Take A Break*
Why is Richard sleeping at the dinner table? He starts off the Friday Night Dinner reading the newspaper during cocktail hour, and now he’s snoozing at the actual dinner table. They make Richard out to be a husband/dad who doesn’t seem to care, but I’m glad they developed him into a strong patriarch of the family. This was just odd seeing him so indifferent.
Well, this one’s going to get me kicked off the internet: I’ve never seen Doctor Who. That is probably the most incendiary thing I’ll ever write here, at least until I get around to penning I’m Just Not That Into Mr. Darcy, And Other Jane Austen Opinions Nobody Asked For, or Macarons: Not That Delicious. As in What I Think Happens In Game Of Thrones (I Don’t Watch It), I haven’t abstained from this show because I think it’s bad. I haven’t watched it because:
I’m not sure where to start. One of the things I think I know about Doctor Who is that it’s been on forever and there have been a bunch of different Doctors Who. If I start at the wrong place, am I doomed to hate it?
A lot of people I know are fans. So if I don’t like it, I will take it to the grave.
Also, I always feel bad when I don’t like a show, even though I realize that David Tennant and co. won’t be crushed if Molly From The Internet isn’t a fan.
I reflexively stay away from anything with aliens. I watched a lot of Unsolved Mysteries as a kid and was terrified that I could be scooped up at any moment. [There was an admittedly half-assed abduction attempt around this time, and I just now realized I probably had a misplaced fear of humans scooping me up at any moment? Who knows.]
I’m sure I will watch a few episodes at some point. But before I do, I want to get down what I THINK happens in the show so I can laugh at it later … and you can all laugh at it now.
If you aren’t from North America, it looks like normal tv from a regular channel. If you are from North America, it looks like cable access or maybe Wishbone episodes from the late 90s.
To be clear, “like Wishbone” is never an insult.
Doctor Who is an alien who can look like anything, but who always chooses to look like a British man.
He has a sidekick, who he calls a “companion” like he’s Aunt March and somebody has to read him the Gospel Of Luke at Plumfield.
The companion could also technically be anyone, but in practice is always a young, attractive British woman.
For a while his companion is that one blonde girl who’s like British Tyra Collette.
Plus maybe some Burberry.
He has a mission. Helping people, probably? Sounds fake.
When Doctors Who quit, they just get a new one and they’re like “no, it’s still the same guy inside, but he’s an alien who turned into a different attractive but not hunky-attractive, wry but not smarmy British man, don’t worry.” And nobody does.
They always meet up at an old-fashioned red phone booth.
No. I think blue.. Police booth? I can picture it.
I wouldn’t let myself Google Image it until I had written the whole post, because I was afraid of accidentally finding something out.
Like Bill and Ted’s Excellent Adventure.
“Actually, no.” – my image search results.
I haven’t been to England for 8 years, but I definitely saw a billion red phone booths and zero police booths, so I’m not sure how incognito that is.
I think sometimes there’s time travel. Why am I not watching this again?
The spaceship is called Tardis and no, I have no clue what that means. Tennant And Regular Dudes In Space?
There’s sometimes a big Christmas episode. But I bet it airs on Boxing Day. I just bet.
I’m almost positive at some point there are dinosaurs.
The special effects are reminiscent of Space Cases or Halloweentown.
Exhibit A.
Exhibit B.
It’s not America, so sometimes they let unattractive people be on the show if they’re good at acting.
It’s not America, so adult characters have parents who are actually 55+.
I bet at some point they tried to do a social issue tie-in episode and it sucked.
The series, though generally good, has a few episodes that are just notoriously, horribly bad.
Is his companion called Poppy one time?
He’s not a doctor. Not a medical doctor, anyway.
The companion has to make up a series of increasingly implausible lies so her loved ones don’t find out.
They don’t fall in love every time.
But even when they’re not technically “in love” they totally are.
Wait. Maybe every once in a while the sidekick/companion is a dude, like Robin to his Batman.
The show has been on FOREVER. Like since the 1960s or ’70s, I think? But it took a break for a while and nobody watches the early years.
Also, the Doctor was not so attractive until the more recent reboots.
They must have catch phrases.
There’s a chance I’m thinking of Full House.
There’s something like a Dilek.
I know that isn’t the word exactly, but that IS the name of a girl who was friends with one of my college roommates, and it is something like that.
Anyway. I have no clue what the Dilek is but the phrase my brain keeps going to is “bad guy spaceship.” I don’t think that’s right, though. It might be more like a friendly alien.
Benedict Cumberbatch is not in Doctor Who. Tom Hiddleston is not in Doctor Who. Eddie Redmayne is not in Doctor Who. However, there’s a near-1:1 ratio of people who like this show and who like those guys. Which is why I always feel like they were in it.
In honor of it being October and all, I figured my Pop Culture Blind Spot should be Halloween appropriate, hence, Ghost… Get it? This is the movie where they’re all dressed like this, right?
JK, I’m not that dumb.
I somehow missed out on a bunch of hit 80s/early 90s movies, as evidenced from my last post about Dirty Dancing (am I secretly on a Patrick Swayze binge? Maybe). But Ghost was also re-brought to my attention recently after listening to Aisha Tyler’s Girl on Guy podcast from May, when she interviews America’s favorite philandering fictional president, Fitzgerald Grant, aka Tony Goldwyn. If you have 2 hours to spare and are a Scandal/Fitz fan, you should probs listen to this (interview is here!). So they obviously discussed his role in Ghost, and I remembered that I haven’t actually seen the movie. Weirdly enough, my first real introduction was in the form of the musical adaptation during the national tour last year.
Prior to seeing the musical, I knew this about Ghost: Patrick Swayze is a ghost who maybe was dating Demi Moore and comes back to haunt her? Fitz from Scandal is the bad guy and Whoopi has a miscellaneous part.
And although I saw the musical recently, my knowledge is scant, Whoopi is a psychic and someone gets shot? Lit’rally saw it a year ago but don’t really remember what happened. I also figured the musical is a bit different from the OG movie.
So here we go – first time watching Ghost for real real – my body is ready for you young Fitz. (It’s on Netflix Instant if you want to follow along!)
Title credits are happening as the camera pans over a dark and dusty attic. It’s already more freaky sounding than I thought? It’s like the precursor to the Are You Afraid of the Dark? intro.
how
:03 TONY GODWYN ABS MAN HAS NOT CHANGED ALSo that was a typo. I somehow skipped the ‘L’ in Goldwyn but that’s gonna stay that way moving forward.
:05 The office office looks like Sterling Cooper in the 1980s. Patrick Swayze is Jon Hamm and Tony Godwyn is Pete Campbell. Except way hotter
:07 For some reason, they’re lifting an angel up into their apartment (FORESHADOWING??)
Forgot Demi’s name is Molly, and suddenly remembered the Molly, You in Danger Girl GIF. V excited about seeing its origin.
:10 Sam (PSwayze) is looking a little concerned, and tells Molly, “Whenever anything good in my life happens, I’m just afraid I’m gonna lose it.” More foreshadowing?!
:12 Even for 1990 that record player looks super futuristic. Ah yes, the pottery scene. I get why people think this is sexy but I’m just thinking how messy this is going to be and what a pain it’s going to be to clean up.
Wait they went from the pottery tutorial straight to having sex in the middle of their living room! But their hands are clean!!
:15 LOL at these old DOS screens Sam and Carl (T Godwyn) are using at work. How did we ever get stuff done on those things? Also, why type of company is this? A run-of-the-mill financial firm? I think I missed something.
Knowing Godwyn is the villain is totally changing how I’m watching him in this movie, because I’m looking for hints to his evilness now (this is along the same lines of why I hate spoilers). Per his interview with Aisha Tyler, Tony was recalling how during his audition, he was playing the Carl role as a sympathetic nice guy, but the director didn’t want him to do that, insisting that the viewers need to know he’s evil. But Tony argued, “‘I’m not doing that. You have to invest the audience in this character and make them hopefully fall in love with them and then the betrayal will be that much worse. You want to make them believe that I’m their (Molly & Sam’s) friend’. So I stuck to my guns and (director) Jerry was like, ‘You were right.'”
:19 Sam: “I say I love you all the time”, Molly: “No, you say Ditto.”
After seeing Macbeth on Broadway (Sam fell asleep), they walk home and talk about getting married when a guy appears from the shadows and attempts to rob Sam at gunpoint. Sam tries to retaliate and the mugger ends up shooting and subsequently killing him.
OK BUT ALSO why were you guys walking on a street with no street lights and at a leisurely pace late at night what did you think was gonna happen also how is it possible there’s no one out IT’S THE CITY THAT NEVER SLEEPS.
:21 The blood looks so fake? There’s also a lot of it, but they take Sam to the hospital anyways. :25 This old guy shows up to the hospital like hes been trolling the place forever and said of a guy doctors are attending to in the ER, ‘He’s not gonna make it. I’ve seen it a million times.’ What is the quality of this hospital?
Omg the special effects are like the magic school bus level when someone goes through Sam
:29 Molly & Sam’s cat just screamed and ran away after looking into Ghost Sam’s eyes. Nine lives and all, amirite?
:31 The mugger sneaks into Molly and Sam’s apartment looking for something, but let’s get down to it – why is there is so much crime in NY rn?
Molly comes back in and he sneakily watches her change her clothes. What a perv. GS manages to leverage the cat to jump and scratch the mugger, and he escapes because, he ain’t messin with no cat.
Molly hears noises (the mugger leaving her gd apartment) and says, “Is somebody there? Hello” YES SOMEONE’S THERE LOCK YOUR DOORS THERE IS CRIME
Well there’s one pro to being a ghost: free subway rides.
:35 This dude just attacks Ghost Sam because it’s “his train”??? Get a grip. Can’t a ghost just ride the train freely?
:38 Ghost Sam spots what I assume is Whoopi’s storefront as “Spiritual Advisor” who contacts the “dearly departed”. Is this the same thing as Long Island Medium?
This entire scene looks like a set up to steal customer Mrs. Santiago’s money. I mean look at Oda Mae’s outfit Also shouldn’t she be feeling the presence of Ghost Sam in the room? I wrote this script, it’s fine.
:44 “Are you white? It’s a white guy!” Oda Mae, getting to the bottom of things.
:47 Ghost Sam sings obnoxious diddies as a way to get Oda Mae to visit Molly so he can talk through her, including I’m Henry The Eighth I Am and 99 Bottles of Beer. Yup, he’s definitely white.
To be fair, both Molly & Oda Mae have vaild points in this – Molly doesn’t want to believe her dead boyfriend is talking through a rando “spiritual advisor”, while Oda Mae just wants to get this white guy out of her head.
:53 MOLLY – YOU IN DANGER, GIRL! I’M DYING THIS SCENE IS AMAZING I GET WHY WHOOPI WON AN OSCAR
Guys, Tony Goldwyn is SO HOT in this movie I cannot. But also, he hired this dude to steal Sam’s wallet but ended up murdering him? All for $80,000? Hope it was worth it. Also how did Carl even get in contact with Willie Lopez?? Craigslist on the DOS?
1:06 Molly finds the penny in a jar Sam found the first day they were tearing down the apartment and smashes it to bits. RIP Sam. RIP lucky singular penny in a jar.
1:08 For selfish reasons, I would like to see Tony Godwyn in a sex scene right now, but preferably not with Molly because that would be horrible.
look at that face. look at that chest.
AS SOON AS I STOPPED TYPING THAT Carl purposefully spills HOT coffee on his shirt as an excuse to take it off and flaunt himself in front of Molly I’m dead. *Not as dead as Ghost Sam I asked for it and it started happening and I’m not okay with it. I just – what if Kerry Washington showed up and there was an Olitz scene I’d be fine with that. I’ve been watching too much Scandal.
1:12 Sam’s back on the train and sticking his head through the train in a hilarious fashion
1:20 All the ‘spooks’ are in Oda Mae’s office because they somehow heard she can actually channel the dead. Some ghost named Orlando takes over Oda Mae’s body and Whoopi is killing it as this 50ish year old black guy. It’s legit as if this dude took over her body, it’s fantastic.
1:23 Ode Mae’s “I have a formal meeting at the bank to pass as someone who looks like they normally go to these meetings” outfit is *on fleek*
Ghost Sam is instructing Oda Mae to get money out of some account before Carl can get to it and it requires him talking through her again and I would watch a spin off this if I could
1:30 Ghost Sam forces Oda Mae to give the $4 mil to some nuns, prompting her to say the second best quote in the movie:
Oda Mae Brown: I know you don’t think I’m giving this 4 million dollars to a bunch of nuns!
Sam: Think of it this way, you’ll go to Heaven.
Oda Mae Brown: I don’t want to go to Heaven, I want to go to the bank and cash a GODDAMN CHECK!
Carl checks on his account that he’s planning on swindling money from and he freaks out bc it’s not there and he’s literally sweating trying to find out where the money went
1:35 HAHAHAHAHAHAHA
Carl is BUGGIN because Ghost Sam is haunting him, so he goes to Molly’s apartment, covered in sweat.
Molly Jensen: Carl, are you all right?
Carl Bruner: It’s just my stomach! Do you have anything like Pepto Bismol or something like that?
Sam Wheat: Cyanide!
Thanks to Train Ghost, Ghost Sam has mastered the art of touch animate objects, including people, so he pokes around at Carl, who looks like he could vom at any second. GS continues to punch Carl and even though I’ve never seen Roadhouse, I imagine it’s akin to this. Maybe that will be my next PCBS (Pop Culture Blind Spot), seeing as how I’m apparently on a Swayze streak.
1:39 Arsenio Hall cameo! “Don’t try to adjust your television, I’m black!” There’s a lot of race talk in this movie, which is interesting. I didn’t think that would be a recurring theme in Ghost.
1:41 Willie and Carl come looking for Oda Mae but she manages to escape. Willie on the other hand can’t escape Ghost Sam. He makes the books and art on the wallpapered walls come down towards Willie and they end up in the bathroom, where GS leaves Willie a sweet message:
And Willie decides to shoot at the mirror, because that will do the trick. Oh and Willie is dead. In a horrific accident that includes four vehicles, one of which runs him over. He becomes a ghost and sees Ghost Sam for the first time. All of a sudden what sounds like zombies are coming for Willie, then I realize he’s probs being taken off to hang with the Dev.
1:46 Oda Mae is still trying to get Molly to believe Ghost Sam is speaking to her, so he manages to “levitate” a penny (aka pick it up with his finger and hand it to her), but still, the 1990s special effects still make me laugh.
1:49 Oda Mae lets Sam take over her body a la Orlando from earlier and they cut it so Demi’s dancing with PSwayze to Unchained Melody and I might be crying a little
Ugh Cock Block Carl comes in during this tender moment, and Molly and Oda start running away from him, because he wants the check from Oda Mae, which as you remember, is being spent by those nuns from the street.
Yo Carl calm da fuq down, why do you have a gun and why are you trying to shoot at a ghost you can’t see??
For some reason, there’s still a lot of construction going on in their building, and their chase leads Ghost Sam and Carl to a part of the place where there is a hanging rope with a giant metal hook at the end, which Carl swings into NOTHING because he can’t see Ghost Sam, but it rebounds a second time, making glass from the window fall down onto Carl and impale him in the gut. Carl basically inflicted this upon himself.
You know, Ghost isn’t really about the supernatural, it’s a cautionary tale about greed.™ Life Lessons with Cookies + Sangria.
As a surprise to no one, Carl dies and goes to be Willie’s pal with the Dev in Hell. The foley artists probably had a blast making these groaning sounds the zombies/dementors make when taking someone away.
1:58 Ghost Sam checks in on Oda Mae and Molly, and surprise, surprise, Molls can actually see and hear him – because he’s about to go into the light. They have a super awkward “kiss” before he goes away for good, and legit his last words to her are, “See ya.”
And with that I say, it’s been quite a ride, P Swayze & Tony Godwyn. until next time.
I love almost everything about Halloween. Candy? Awesome. Costumes? Fun! Falling leaves, cider, donuts, tacky decorations? Sure! But there’s one big part of the holiday I can’t get behind: being scared. Slasher movies gross me out. I love ghost stories and spooky stuff, but as night falls and I’m alone in my 105-year-old house, I really, really wish I had skipped it. Besides, there’s plenty of real-life stuff to be afraid of, like repaying my student loans, or the prospect that the dead mouse I found this morning has left a widow and children somewhere in my house. Scaring myself silly over things that probably don’t exist doesn’t help matters.
So what to do if you want to get into the Halloween spirit, but don’t want the Halloween spirit to keep you up in the middle of the night? Here are some of my favorite Halloween movies – either gently supernatural, or set during the season – that don’t leave me feeling all goosebumpy.
Harry Potter
Pick a Harry Potter, any Harry Potter! But for the gentle, slightly witchy fun I’m looking for – before things get quite so heavy and house elves start dying – I like to stick to the first three movies. The Halloween scene in Harry Potter And The Sorcerer’s (/Philosopher’s) Stone is especially festive. Note: I have also convinced myself that some of the Harry Potter movies are Christmas-appropriate due to the occasional picturesque snowfall or Yuletide celebration in the Great Hall.
The Crucible
You know what’s REALLY scary? McCarthyism. While the only demon here was the mob mentality bred by religious fundamentalism (Halloween fun!!!), the talk of witches and rustic New England setting make this a great one to enjoy in October.
When the two of us were in high school, we covered this play in English (of course), and entertained ourselves for weeks by saying things like “I saw Goody Traci with the devil, she ‘ad ‘is poppet! She signed ‘is book!” in an inexplicably Cockney accent. Yes, we have always been exactly the people we are right now.
This is coming to Broadway with Saoirse Ronan and Tavi Gevinson as Puritan teens and I couldn’t be more excited.
E.T.
There’s an awesome trick-or-treating scene, plus aliens always feel like at least a Halloween-adjacent topic. Halloween always makes me feel a little nostalgic and this movie takes me right back to my childhood in the late 80s and early 90s.
Hocus Pocus
Speaking of nostalgia, nothing could bring me back to my youth in a better way than the Halloween classic Hocus Pocus. It has an all-star cast – Bette Midler, Kathy Najimy and Sarah Jessica Parker! – gorgeous visuals, a fun plot, and even takes it back to Colonial times like the Crucible did. This movie is from 1993, but I swear it’s timeless. You can read our live blog here.
The Witches
Based on the Roald Dahl book, this movie has all the offbeat, macabre fun you’d expect, but it’s silly enough that – for an adult, anyway – it isn’t going to haunt your dreams.
Edward Scissorhands
This list is leaning heavily to movies that were shown on cable a lot when I was a child, but whatever, the 80s and early 90s were apparently a great era for non-scary, dark paranormal movies. Tim Burton movies, on the whole, are great Halloween viewing if you’re easily spooked, because everything is sort of dark and rickety, but it’s also absurd enough that it won’t scare you. There will be more where this came from!
Beetlejuice
Aha! Here we are again. Even as a little kid, I thought Beetlejuice was more fun than scary. What could be more Halloween-appropriate than an old-school “scary” movie night with Beetlejuice, Edward Scissorhands, and a few more from this list? While Tim Burton is an easy match for a list like this I’m also noticing that this is the third Winona Ryder movie so far.
The Nightmare Before Christmas
Rounding out our Tim Burton trilogy, The Nightmare Before Christmas has an awesome aesthetic, great songs, and is part of a true golden era of Halloween entertainment (it came out the same year as Hocus Pocus! I was one lucky second grader).
The Addams Family
And Addams Family values: part of the weird 90s trend of making feature films out of long-dead tv shows (see also: The Brady Bunch, Leave It To Beaver, The Beverly Hillbillies). But while the show never particularly tickled my funny bone, this movie – particularly deadpan Wednesday Addams, played by a too-talented-for-her-age Christina Ricci – still holds up pretty well.
Rocky Horror Picture Show
None of the goblins and ghouls in Rocky Horror are scary – in fact, the only “scary” thing is maybe what a weird place we were at in the 70s. It’s a cult classic for a reason, with a farcical plot and catchy songs that are just as outlandish in 2015 as they were 40 years ago (while we’re at it: 40 years?! Round of applause for Susan Sarandon!).
Mean Girls
It’s not a Halloween movie, but the Halloween sequence is truly classic – and, for us nostalgia-heads, a great peak back in the Paris Hilton-y early 2000s. I still get a kick out of Cady in her “ex wife” costume. Much like Harry Potter, I also convince myself that this is a Christmas movie because there’s a Christmas scene in it.
Halloweentown
I saw (and live blogged) Halloweentown for the first time a few years ago because I didn’t have Disney as a kid, and was hit over the head by how deliciously late 90s it was. You can also follow up with Halloweentown II, Halloweentown High and Return To Halloweentown (but I didn’t).
The Village
Fun(?) fact: I worked at a movie theater at the time and multiple customers told me I looked like “that girl in The Village” and I’m not sure that was meant to be a compliment, pretty as Bryce Dallas Howard is in other movies.
This isn’t M. Night Shyamalan’s most acclaimed movie, but it IS his least scary! By the end, when the Shyamalan-required twist is revealed, you will probably not be shaking in your boots – but it does have just the right amount of atmospheric spookiness and autumn scenery to make you feel like you tried. It’s like the movie version of going on the tilt-a-whirl, but not the upside down roller coaster.
Tower Of Terror
Look. It’s a TV movie based on a Disney theme park ride. Enough said? But it’s sort of fun in a 1930s-meets-1990s way.
Kiki’s Delivery Service
I’m not into cartoons – well, except for Disney, Pixar, and Bob’s Burgers – but Hayao Miyazaki knows how to make cartoons that appeal to anyone who likes a well-made film. Kiki is a young witch flying around on a broomstick, but … I don’t know. It’s just a really nicely made movie. If you’re keeping count of the 90s child starlets, this is the second consecutive Kirsten Dunst movie. She’s gaining on Winona Ryder and Christina Ricci!
Honorable Mentions
If you like classics, To Kill A Mockingbird and Meet Me In St. Louis both have fantastic trick or treating scenes. And Goonies – which for me personally just doesn’t feel like Halloween – definitely wouldn’t be out of place either.
Last week, the Internet was up in arms (but when is it not) about a new app called Peeple, which lets you rate and review other people. It’s been called “Yelp for Humans”, which is how it’s being marketed around the web, hence the outrage among social media users who haven’t done any further research.
I’m definitely not defending this app, but I wanted to figure out why the founders of it wanted to make it in the first place. These two best friends, one in Canada, one in the U.S., were dedicated to “changing the way people can learn about each other online.” Their solution was Peeple, an app that “allows you to rate and comment about the people you interact with in your daily lives on the following three categories: personal, professional, and dating.”
Ok, seems easy enough. But, why sign up to do it? What is the goal to be accomplished here? According to these ladies, their mission is to “find the good in you”, and “enhance your online reputation for access to better quality networks, top job opportunities, and promote more informed decision making about people” – hence the personal, professional and dating categories.
They also stress that Peeple is a “positivity app for positive people”, and they’ve shown active support to the anti-bullying movement. But you’re wondering how that’s possible when people can just go to your profile and say anything they damn please, right? Well according to their website, if someone writes a negative review about you, it doesn’t go public on your profile right away, it goes to your inbox and you can then “work it out” with the person who left said review. You can also “report” people like on Twitter and Insta, etc. but negative reviews can still show up on your profile.
Also, you have to be 21 to join Peeple, and have a Facebook account and cell phone number to sign up. You also don’t have the option of taking yourself off Peeple.
So those are the facts. Here’s my opinion: I get what these ladies are trying to do. Create a safe space where others can talk about how good you are in a public forum. It’s like the LinkedIn section where employers and co-workers can back up your resume by writing a nice blurb. But in reality, this isn’t going to work. The environment on the Internet has changed so drastically, even within the past few years, that it’s seemingly impossible to create a “positive app for positive people”. Just because you call something “positive” doesn’t mean it’s going to be that. If I say this party I’m going to is going to be “awesome”, it’s not going to automatically be “awesome” since someone vommed near the doorway and it’s basically impossible to escape. Reviews on people are metaphorical vomit.
Plus, the nature of the app itself is wont for negativity. Even though it’s 21 and over, adults can be assholes too. And it’s not always straight out “this girl’s a bitch”, it can be even meaner than that, since grown-ups are strategic and know how to push your buttons. Also, shade.
It’s just not smart idea given the current Internet climate. Especially because it’s already gotten a lot of bad press. This tweet basically sums it up for me:
so #peeple is what happens when two popular mean girls from your high school grow up & decide to make a slam book for the entire world?
Peeple sets up users to basically judge the people they know, and this act of judging has become even more prevalent in our digital culture thanks to the simple technology of ‘the comments section’. But Peeple isn’t the first app to take on this idea of micromanaging criticisms. There’s an innocent one called the Kissing Test, where you lit’rally kiss the screen and it somehow tells you if you’re a pro, novice, or horrible. Similar to that, there’s the Passion app which will tell you how “good” you are in bed. Yup. Just set up the app and place the phone near (or on?) you during sex, and using the mic and other technologies I don’t understand, it will give you a score:
Then there’s the Gym Shamer, which will basically humiliate you publicly to friends on social media if you fail to reach your fitness goals that day.
Do we really need apps for any of this? How about instead of making a “positivity app for positive people”, we start with being positive IRL. And that’s a term all you people on the Internet will understand.
Do you guys feel like there’s a large majority of people that are particularly obsessed with this month? Don’t get me wrong, I enjoy October, but there are folks who are in love with October. But I suppose they have good reason. While September marks a time when kids go back to school and it’s technically fall, October is kind of like the after-dinner mint of summer. Enough to signify summer’s done, but leaves you feeling like you need to order a slice of cake to fully get into dessert.
October is when it starts to cool down everywhere and there’s a literal shift in the air. We finally acquiesce to wearing more pants instead of skirts, ordering more hot coffee instead of iced, crockpots instead of ice cream makers. For some reason, there’s more of a deliberate move into fall throughout the month of October, with certain habits, routines and traditions we take on. These are just some of the things that get us through the month, and perhaps why October is thought to be the best of them all.
It’s October 3rd
Of course, we start off with National Mean Girls Day (not a real holiday, but most of those ‘National’ days aren’t anyways). It may not fall on a Wednesday this year, but Mean Girls devotees and Plastics everywhere will be wearing pink and Aaron Samuels/Jonathan Bennett will have his annual day of, ‘Hey guys, remember me? I still exist’ on social media.
Pumpkin Errything
If something says ‘Seasonal Item’ stamped across an item, it signals the impulse in our brains to BUY IT BUY ALL THE THINGS RIGHT NOW. From PSL to pumpkin pie Pringles to actual pumpkin pies, we tend to be inundated with orange everywhere… and for most of us, we give in.
And Then Swipe Left On This
Burger King announced they’re also getting in the October spirit by releasing something called the Halloween Whopper, which is basically their signature burg, but with a black bun. Said bun apparently has A1 steak sauce baked into it and has a black pepper flavor flav, and basically it’s disgusting. Just because it’s Halloween doesn’t mean you have to make your taste buds suffer.
Insta That Shit
For the non-California/West Coast residents, you get the privilege of seeing the leaves change colors to something out of a Bob Ross painting IRL. But instead of putting it on canvas, sharing these picturesque landscapes and feet crunching on the ground is perfect for social media. #Foliage #Fall #Autumn #Leaves #Colors #ILoveFall
It Gets Super Dark
I realize that we’re nearing the end of Daylight Savings Time, but it always, always catches me off guard when I look outside one second and it’s light out then next thing I know it’s pitch black. I leave work around 7p, so I’m used to the sun going down around the time I leave, but the past few days it’s been like a blackout. Like the picture above is me. #BlackoutSelfie.
Avoid The Candy
legit how i would organize my candy as a kid. i was a nerd.
As adults, Halloween becomes more about going out to parties and collecting alcohol as opposed to going out to strangers’ houses and collecting candy. And because we’re adults, we’re more apt to think, ‘I’m a grown ass man/woman, I can just buy a bag of candy any damn day I want!’. But then at work they have candy lying around and everywhere you look there’s free candy – next thing you know, you’re surrounded by wrappers and you wake up from your sugar coma wondering what just happened. And it happens pretty much from mid-October on to mid-November. This is a problem. Avoid it at all costs. What would your dentist say??
Deciding Which Halloween Parties Not To Go To
actually a nightmare
As previous mentioned, Halloween in your 20s means bars and parties and less going door-to-door. But I’m gonna be honest with y’all – as I approach the big 3-0, I want nothing to do with that. Maybe it’s just me, and I fall in a minority (in more ways than one) of not wanting to go rage in an outfit I’m only going to wear once. Is it a sensible affair with wine and mostly people I know? I’m available. Count me out if it’s a party with more than one Sexy *Item that should never be sexy* costume and a keg. I’m actually too old for that shit.
Scared Straight
Halloween is one of the few holidays that circle around the tradition of watching a certain genre of movies – Christmas has its own set of films and scary movies are reserved for Halloween. I personally don’t partake in this particular tradition, as I’m more of a Twitches girl, myself. But I get the allure.
Christmastime Is Here
I hate to say it, but I’ve seen it. I’ve seen the store displays with my own two eyes and it’s real.
Cookies + Sangria 