It’s been a while, but we’re back in awards show mode, and what better way to kick it off than with the ceremony where all our favorite TV stars unite! Last night, we saw some gowns to die for and gowns that should maybe just… die. Since we’re considered fashion experts (amateurs) (no one’s every called us that), we’re doing something that no one else is going today and picking our best and worst dressed celebrities from last night. Did your faves make the cut? Pun intended.
Best Dressed
Traci’s Picks
Elisabeth Moss in Oscar de la Renta
This dress is obviously super simple, but I love that it’s tailor ed to her body, which gives it that extra detail. Also, with a bright color like this (which I love), it doesn’t need much more accessory-wise. Elisabeth was styled perfectly with the hair, makeup, simple studs, and minimal jewels.
Zoe Kazan in Miu Miu
Ok, so this isn’t necessarily an “Emmy Dress”, per se, but I love it. It’s flowy and perfect for the scorching LA heat, and red, from head to toe, looks great on her.
Aubrey Plaza in Alexander Vauthier
It was kind of hard to tell in most pictures, but Aubrey’s dress is actually accented with burgundy jewels, which is why I love it. The low cut neckline and high cut slit show just enough skin. And again, she’s styled perfectly since the dress is a statement in itself, with minimal jewels and a gorge bob haircut. She’s even smiling!
Ellie Kemper in Naeem Kahn
I don’t know if anyone else has noticed, but Ellie Kemper is a low key red carpet goddess. She rarely fails when it comes to picking gowns for these shows, and she didn’t fail last night. The colors in the dress are mesmerizing, and the asymmetrical lines give it just enough edge. Christina Hendricks also donned a similar Naeem Kahn dress, but Ellie edged her out just a bit.
Emma Roberts in Jenny Packham
Ok, so Emma’s face isn’t great here. However, she went for an old Hollywood look, and just nailed it. Yet again, it’s hard to tell in this photo, but the dress is more of a shimmery gold, which is on point for the occasion. The skirt flowed behind her when she walked, and was the perfect pairing with her golden curls.
First of all, love this golden brown hair color on her – more natural and complimentary to her skin tone than platinum blonde or gingery red. Amy almost always kills it on the red carpet, and I’m always a fan of formalwear that incorporates a non-tacky midriff. The bangles are fun and youthful, perfect for someone who doesn’t take this awards show thing TOO too seriously.
Tatiana Maslany In Bouchra Jarrar
It took the Emmys a VERY long time to notice Tatiana Maslany. Orphan Black may be a huge cult hit but a lot of people don’t know about it, or the actress behind the clones. I’m sure Tatiana was well aware that last night was her shot to make an impression, and this suit did just that. The looser fit was a bit of a gamble – usually on the rare occasion that a woman wears a suit on the red carpet, the pants are impeccably tailored and crisp. I’d call this one a risk that paid off.
Jon Hamm
Not only am I breaking my “suits and tuxes are too boring to be Best Dressed” rule, I’m breaking it twice. It’s just that Jon Hamm wears formal attire so well. Yes, tuxes and suits are not half as fussy or uncomfy as even the most comfortable gown, but a lot of men still manage to look sort of stiff and unnatural in them. Jon, however, looks like he has been wearing a tuxedo on the daily since he was a toddler. I’m also loving these throwback narrow lapels we’ve been seeing for the past several years – so much better than those schlubby, boxy 90s tuxedos. The tailoring is perfect here.
Kerry Washington In Marc Jacobs
Kerry Washington is one of those people who is SO gorgeous and wears clothes SO well that she often takes red carpet risks … which sometimes can fall flat or overpower her. So I was delighted to see this metallic chain mail piece that is a tad offbeat but, with the relatively simple and not too clingy cut, isn’t too over the top either. That said, the dress and shoes both must be uncomfy as hell and I can’t even imagine.
Gina Rodriguez in Lorena Sarbu
She looks like an angel. More runway-type, concept-y gowns don’t always work on the Red Carpet (see: Kerry Washington) but Gina looks like a dream and I swear we’re going to start watching Jane The Virgin. It can be very hard to wear white without looking like a bride or a girl at a really nice quince, and the mixed textures are what keeps it out of that arena. Love the pop of color with the clutch.
Honorable Mention: Teyonah Parris, wearing a great polka dot gown that would be very hard to pull off for anyone less adorable than Teyonah Parris.
Worst Dressed
Traci’s Picks
Heidi Klum in Versace
It’s always disappointing and a lil second hand embarrassment when a supermodel/fashion icon fails on the red carpet. It’s like she picked a 10th place finisher’s design from Project Runway.
Sophie Turner in Galvan
Guys, I know the 90s are back and all, but I’m still not on board with velour.
Jaimie Alexander in Armani Prive
I… just don’t get it.
Joanna Newsom in Delpozo
I really, really, really think these two are super adorable to the point I want to vom, but honey sweetie. The front of this dress. Joanna’s style is usually left of center, but I can’t get on board with this. Love you two, though.
Edie Falco in Prada
90% of the time, pleats are no good. This gown is included in that percentage. Also, the rando flower embroideries are confusing, and the fit just doesn’t show off Edie’s form. She can do much better, as evidenced from Emmys past.
Kathryn Hahn in Vivienne Westwood
I think Kathryn Hahn is one of the most underrated and underappreciated actresses in the biz. That being said, what is even happening here.
Molly’s Picks:
Tracee Ellis Ross in Zac Posen
Tracee has great hair (I mean, she is destined for great hair), and her face and skin are wonderful too. The general silhouette of the dress is fine, although I am never into that kind of bodice and I don’t like the cutouts on the skirt. So I think what I don’t like is the combination of that sweetly pink color with the glossy fabric – all I can think is Galinda from Wicked.
Taryn Manning in Rubin Singer
Maybe this isn’t a technically bad dress, I’m just over the Angelina Jolie/ Morticia Addams/ Theda Bara thing. It’s also hard to pull off unless impeccably styled, and her hair looks like a Delia*s-era Sun In and Wet Look combo.
Alan Cumming in Vivienne Westwood
This is so silly that I actually find it delightful. He looks like an old-time jolly chimney sweep who’s gettin’ married in the morning. The tie, the chain, the umbrella, the pocket square, the giant pants — I find it so joyful and fun that I almost want to put it on best dressed, I just know that it isn’t technically “good.”
Julianne Hough In Marchesa
It almost doesn’t seem fair judging reality tv people on the red carpet, because it seems like they’re in a whole different universe. It is something I would probably LOVE on the runway, or in Swan Lake, I just don’t like if for the red carpet.
Dascha Polanco in Leanne Marshall
If you were one of the good kids in school, do you remember how you would get in trouble if you made the slightest peep in class, because the teachers had grown to expect more of you? That’s how I feel about this dress. On anyone else I would probably just think “Okay, not my favorite” and move on, but I’ve come to love Dascha’s style so much that I’m surprised I don’t like this one. I do love the sunny yellow on her, I think I just hate this new trend of the super short opaque skirt with a sheer gown over it. I think they look silly now, but I think everyone will think they look silly when they look back in a few years.
It’s hard to believe but it’s Super Bowl weekend! And by Super Bowl, we mean Emmy Awards, because, hello, welcome to our blog. Like we do every year, we’ll be liveblogging the ceremony on Sunday starting around 8pm EST/5pm PST, so come back and join us!
Friendly reminder that we’re still too cheap to update and get legit liveblogging technology, so please refresh this page every 5 to 10 minutes for our up-to-the-minute updates! Also, for up-to-the-second updates, join us over on Twitter!
serious andy samberg welcomes you to the emmys.
7:15 M: Guys, I’m a bit worried. I tuned into FOX to see if there’s a preshow on (there isn’t) but (A) it’s still football, and (B) the announcer is speaking Spanish.
I should add that I majored in Spanish in college and spent like 5 months in Spain, but I am not interested in translating an entire awards show.
[Note: I don’t have cable and have noticed that my over-the-air FOX affiliate does some weird stuff, like narrating the action for blind people – obviously not weird if you’re blind, but.] On to the much-lauded Yahoo live stream. Right now: an overhead shot of a tight crowd of warm-looking rich people.
Oh cool. A clip from Louie. Really outdoing yourself, Yahoo.
7: 20I almost always love everything that Dascha Polanco is. Which makes me think that me not liking her gown is a “it’s not you, it’s me thing.” To be fair, I’ve been hating on the short opaque skirt under a sheer long skirt trend.
7:25 Sarah Paulson (in custom Prabal Gurung) is asked who she wants to see tonight. Answers “Emma Thompson” without pause. You and me both.
M: Let’s talk about Tatiana Maslany. No, let’s LOOK at Tatiana Maslany. Jesus.
7: 39 Emmy Guy: I know Amy Poehler started this Smart Girls thing about not asking women so many fashion questions –
8:00 M: Well, my TV is in English now. That’s nice. Andy Samberg does a number emerging from a TV viewing bunker. Or as I call it, my house.
T: Legit just LOLed at the ‘Have you seen Castle?’ joke. You know who watches Castle? my aunts who don’t have a DVR and have to be home to watch Castle REPEATS.
M: Man. Aunts love appointment television, don’t they?
Did Andy Samberg end his number with “and I’m white?” Not a rhetorical Q, my tv pixelated right at that second.
T: I thought he said, “And I’m right?” We could easily both be completely wrong. We’re old now.
M: I thought he was making a commentary on why he was chosen as host and I was like “brazen, but … true.” Yours makes more sense.
T: “Justin Timberlake is not coming.” – Andy answering the question we’ve all been thinking.
M: I don’t watch GoT, but of COURSE there’s a mean nun.
T: I was just about to say, ‘I don’t watch GoT’ but Jane Lynch looks exactly like that mean nun. We’re not fans of dragons and incest and rape (?), okay.
M: I feel like GoT offers lots of nice braided hairdos, but so does Pinterest. [We’ll try it. Someday.]
M: Oh, Tina Fey looks gorgeous!
T: ::Emoji with heart eyes:: That quadrant of seating also includes Poehler and Jimmy Fallon. I want to go to there.
M: Also looking great: Amy Poehler. Now I just need Andy to make a lame joke about Canada so we can get a reaction shot of Tatiana Maslany, because she looks extra :heart eyes emoji: :praise hands emoji:
T: “If I wanted to see an intolerant woman dance I would’ve gone to one of Kim Davis’ four weddings.” I legit said, ‘OOOHHHHH SNAP” out loud. No one is with me.
M: Jon Hamm in a suit. You know?
T: “Dick Whitman Horny Hobo” Who wouldn’t watch this prequel, tho???
M: I straight up chuckled out loud when Andy mentioned the actor starring in Houdini then they focused on an empty seat. Dad jokes and things they would have laughed at in the 1920s really :get: me.
T: I cannot stop laughing at this Houdini joke, either!
M: Uzo Aduba: the new Ed Asner.
Allison Janney: The new Ed Asner and the old Uzo Aduba.
T:POEHLER & SCHUMER BUDDY COMEDY IMMEDIATELY PLS & THANK YOU
M: Sorry. I was just staring at my TV grinning like an idiot.
Outstanding Supporting Actress in a Comedy Series
Niecy Nash, Getting On
Julie Bowen, Modern Family
Allison Janney, Mom
Kate McKinnon, Saturday Night Live
Mayim Bialik, The Big Bang Theory
Gaby Hoffman, Transparent
Jane Krakowski, Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
Anna Chlumsky, Veep
Molly’s Pick: Jane Krakowski, Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
Also love Kate McKinnon, but SNL performers usually don’t win. Love Anna Chlumsky too. And Gaby Hoffman is amazing in Transparent. I like Modern Family but I’m sick of it winning, and I don’t like Big Bang and I’m sick of it winning.
Traci’s Pick: Anna Chlumsky, Veep
Wait, why are there so many nominees in this? anyways, I pick Anna Chlumsky because she plays the most sane insane person in the White House perfectly, and it’s about time she gets recognized for it.
Winner: Allison Janney
M: Is there a reason she’s singing her speech, though?
T: I want to say yes, but I definitely missed the explanation.
Louis C.K.: Every time you have an idea, you feel sure that that was the last one.
He may have been joking but that is 100% true for me.
Outstanding Writing for a Comedy Series
David Crane and Jeffrey Klarik, Episodes, “Episode 409”
Will Forte, The Last Man on Earth, “Alive in Tucson”
Alec Berg, Silicon Valley, “Two Days of the Condor”
Jill Soloway, Transparent, “Pilot”
Armando Iannucci, Simon Blackwell and Tony Roche, Veep, “Election Night”
Molly’s Pick: Jill Soloway, Transparent, “Pilot”
I could see Transparent picking up a few awards – I watched it because I finally got Amazon Prime this year, and it’s great. Only caveat: not really a COMEDY comedy. The only other show I watch on the list is Veep. Not sure what Episodes is.
Traci’s Pick: Jill Soloway, Transparent, “Pilot”
I haven’t seen Transparent, but I’m going to pick it anyways. They’re going to have a good night.
Winner: Armando Iannucci, Simon Blackwell and Tony Roche, Veep, “Election Night”
T: I am glad they won, though, FTR.
M: Same.
Ricky Gervais doesn’t really walk so much as saunter.
T: He does this bit where he pretends to win an Emmy, and tells viewers to “Tweet that, and Bob’s Your Uncle” – barely any laughs for that joke, because this is America, and most people don’t get that that phrase means like, ‘And you’re all set’.
Outstanding Supporting Actor in a Comedy
Andre Braugher, Brooklyn Nine-Nine
Adam Driver, Girls
Keegan-Michael Key, Key & Peele
Ty Burrell, Modern Family
Titus Burgess, Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
Tony Hale, Veep
Molly’s Pick: Andre Braugher, Brooklyn Nine-Nine
Would love to see a Titus Burgess win, but not holding my breath.
Traci’s Pick: Andre Braugher, Brooklyn Nine-Nine
I just rewatched the season two finale, and he plays that end scene so freaking well. If that’s one of the episodes they submitted, the Captain might have a shot at winning gold.
Winner: Tony Hale, Veep
M: Liking this. Hale says “I just had a fear my zipper’s down” and I immediately flashed back to every play I was ever in when I’d check my zipper like 8 times waiting in the wings.
8: 34 M: I never see Gina Rodriguez without thinking “man, I should really be watching Jane The Virgin.”
T: Same. We need to get on it.
T: Two things: Bradley Whitford’s hat. Also, CJ & Josh Lyman are in the same room right now.
uh is bradley taking off allison’s dress here
M: Jill Soloway wins for comedy directing, beginning our predicted run of awards for Transparent. Because I have trouble with names that sound alike: I always at first think she is Jill Sobule, of I Kissed A Girl “fame” (not the Katy Perry version).
T: Unrelatedly, I forgot to mention how OUTSTANDING Andy’s monologue was. Like, perfection.
M: So far, in terms of hosting, winners, fashion, speeches: no complaints. I don’t know if I’ve ever made it 40 minutes and had that still be the case.
T: Forte’s beard is OUT OF CONTROL. (BONUS JORMA <3)
Like I said, they’re going to have a good night, and it’s thanks to this guy.
Winner: Jeffrey Tambor, Transparent
M: I wouldn’t tell you to get an Amazon Prime membership BECAUSE of Transparent, but if you were thinking of doing it anyway it’s a good perk.
M: When I see Matt LeBlanc and Matthew Perry, it’s like when you see one of your old teachers and are shocked that THEY got older, too.
T: I thought they were stuck in the series finale forever, TBH.
8: 50 T: Um that Apple Music commercial with Taraji, Kerry and Mary J was FIRE. How do I get invited to that party? ALSO, AVA DUVERNAY DIRECTED IT? TALK ABOUT #SQUADGOALS.
M: I was posting in our live blog then my head shot up when I heard Kerry’s voice.
T: Seth and Andy, BFFs together again, and paying homage to their leader, Lorne Michaels.
M: Are they doing lead actress in a comedy next? Because I am not mentally or emotionally ready.
T: Ugh I hope not. I’m never ready. Amy’s been nominated 16 times? I cannot. WAIT IF AMY WINS AND SETH GIVES IT TO HER I WILL CRY.
M: POEHLER. Does a bit in a hoodie and shades.
pls note jimbo in the back
Outstanding Lead Actress in a Comedy Series
Lily Tomlin, Grace and Frankie
Amy Schumer, Inside Amy Schumer
Edie Falco, Nurse Jackie
Amy Poehler, Parks and Recreation
Lisa Kudrow, The Comeback
Julia Louis-Dreyfus, Veep
Molly’s Pick: Amy Poehler, Parks and Recreation
PLEASE?
Traci’s Pick: Amy Meredith Poehler, Parks and Recreation
IF YOU BUILD IT THEY WILL COME. (AM I USING THAT SPORTS MOVIE REF RIGHT?)
Winner: Julia Louis-Dreyfus
M: Every time JLD has won, it’s been totally deserved and I’ve been very pleased. Yet, a bunch of the times I’ve also been sort of pulling for Amy so not been as happy as I’d expect? Love her, though.
T: I am literally shaking because I felt like Poehler had a chance… I mean, I get a grip, maybe? Congrats to JLD tho, she’s great.
M: If I were Poehler I’d be wearing those sunglasses not as comedy sunglasses, but because of tears. I mean I’m not her and I almost need them. [Aside nobody cares about: I always pause for a sec when JLD thanks her kids because they have the same names as 2 of my nephews who are brothers.]
Outstanding Reality Show Competition
The Amazing Race
Dancing with the Stars
Project Runway
So You Think You Can Dance
Top Chef
The Voice
Molly’s Pick: The Amazing Race
I don’t know, I feel like they win a lot.
Traci Pick: Top Chef
In my heart of hearts, SYTYCD will always win, but I’m going to say Top Chef. Mei Lin FTW!
Winner: The Voice
M: Can they do reality tv on a different night or something? Or like on TBS?
T: “Sorry The Amazing Race, it’s our year this year”. Mark Burnett, calm down. Didn’t you guys win last year too?
M: Also this is not a real award category. It reminds me of a weird dream I had once when I somehow was on America’s Next Top Model and I made it like 4 weeks in because everyone felt too bad to kick me out even though I clearly didn’t deserve to be there.
9: 03 M: I love James Corden But when they play the Ghostbusters music I was expecting the Ghostbusters ladies. He is so huggable though.
T: I was just about to say I love James Corden! If you haven’t seen his Carpool Karaoke with Stevie Wonder yet, you should. And if you don’t cry like I did multiple times, then… well, you have your motions under control.
T: I’m also giving the accountants from Ernst & Young a standing ovation, but that’s mainly because I need to get more steps in for my Fitbit.
M: I’m like 800 steps under. Better get moving.
T: IDEC, I still think Terrence Howard is the creepiest. Remember when he was being really weird while presenting at the Oscars?
M: Oooh. Yeah. I had forgotten.
T: Oh, well Jane Anderson is a spritely little woman, isn’t she?
M: She reminds me so much of every enthusiastic writing professor in college.
T: “Oh my God. Goodbye!” is the new “OK I gotta go. Bye.” from Merritt Wever in 2013.
Outstanding Supporting Actress in a Limited Series or Movie
Regina King, American Crime
Sarah Paulson, American Horror Story: Freak Show
Angela Bassett, American Horror Story: Freak Show
Kathy Bates, American Horror Story: Freak Show
Mo’Nique, Bessie
Zoe Kazan, Olive Kitteridge
Molly’s Pick: Zoe Kazan, Olive Kitteridge
Olive Kitteridge was pretty buzz-y which makes me wish I had picked up the book for the 2 years it was at the front of the book section in Target.
Traci’s Pick: Mo’Nique, Bessie
I’m assuming she did great in this.
Winner: Regina King, American Crime
T: NO JOKE, I WAS GOING TO PUT REGINA KING! I’ve never seen American Crime. Also, I want Taraji in my squad cheering me on all the time.
M: Moment of silence out of respect for Regina King’s arms/ personal trainer.
T: Andy’s new dark teal suit = Fresh To Death.
M: “I haven’t seen Olive Kitteridge, I’ve seen Half of Kitteridge.” – if you don’t know who your dad is, it might be Andy Samberg, because that man is flush with dad jokes.
M: Man. Olive Kitteridge. I should watch it.
Wait… they just said “4 hour movie.” Eh. Maybe no.
M: They’re doing an In Memorium for departed SHOWS now? No wonder these things always run 20 minutes over.
9: 24
Outstanding Supporting Actor in a Limited Series or Movie
Richard Cabral, American Crime
Denis O’Hare, American Horror Story: Freak Show
Finn Wittrock, American Horror Story: Freak Show
Michael Kenneth Williams, Bessie
Bill Murray, Olive Kitteridge
Damian Lewis, Wolf Hall
Molly’s Pick: Bill Murray, Olive Kitteridge
I don’t know, just going to keep going with Olive Kitteridge.
Traci’s Pick: Bill Murray, Olive Kitteridge
Olive Kitteridge got a lot of traction with the critics this year, especially for its stars Frances and Bill. Also Bill Murray’s never won an Emmy, so why not?
Winner: Bill Murray, Olive Kitteridge
M: THAT WAS A WHOLE SEGMENT. Did a switchboard operator have a stroke?
T: Insert “DAMNIT, JERRY” here.
M: HA nevermind. The fake cut really got me.
They’re doing a Mad Men finale pastiche.
M: Kerry Washington – so pretty, tonight and always – has a jaunty walk. Should stroll with Ricky Gervais sometime.
T: Kerry is a GD dream and delight
Outstanding Lead Actress in a Limited Series or Movie
Felicity Huffman, American Crime
Jessica Lange, American Horror Story: Freak Show
Queen Latifah, Bessie
Frances McDormand, Olive Kitteridge
Emma Thompson, Mrs. Lovett
Maggie Gyllenhaal, The Honorable Woman
Molly’s Pick: Emma Thompson, Mrs. Lovett
I have hardly heard anything about Mrs. Lovett, so it will probably be Queen or Maggie, but I just love Emma Thompson so much.
Traci’s Pick: Frances McDormand, Olive Kitteridge
It’s going to be down to the Queen, Maggie Gyllenhaal and Frances, but I’m going for Frances, purely because Olive Kitteridge is popular among voters, as previously mentioned.
Winner: Frances McDormand, Olive Kitteridge
M: Guys. Olive Kitteridge is NOT the 1920s American Girl doll. I just double checked. You’re welcome.
T: Frances’ speech was short and to the point. I honestly expected her to go on a 5 minute soapbox, but I’m glad she proved me wrong.
M: I mean I love … serious issues, or whatever … but sometimes I put my Secondhand Embarrassment Pants on when actors do the Soapbox Speech unless they do so quickly and well.
9: 30 T: TATIANA
M: I have no idea what this bit is but I’m always here for Tatiana Maslany. She changed her outfit?
T: I don’t think anyone really knows what this bit is, tbh.
M: Am I supposed to know these audience members they show when Gaga comes out, or did they just pick two kids because, like, “youths like Lady Gaga.”
T: Yes Gaga, you look fierce! Despite the fact your “joke” fell flat.
Outstanding Lead Actor in a Limited Series or a Movie
Timothy Hutton, American Crime
Ricky Gervais, Derek Special
Adrien Brody, Houdini
David Oyelowo, Nightingale
Richard Jenkins, Olive Kitteridge
Mark Rylance, Wolf Hall
Molly’s Pick: Timothy Hutton, American Crime
I don’t know what I’m doing.
Traci’s Pick: David Oyelowo, Nightingale
I’ve only seen clips of David Oyelowo in this, but that’s enough to make him my pick. He’s that good.
Winner: Richard Jenkins, Olive Kitteridge
that time richard jenkins was starstruck by gaga
M: What is the Kitteridge medal count? Okay, let’s all steal our parents’ HBO Go passwords and watch this.
T: It’s FIVE. Five for Olive Kitteridge, not American Girl Doll. Also Richard Jenkins, you’re QT.
M: Still feel like Olive’s character bio is like “a spunky, spirited girl discovering the wide world of the Roaring 20’s.”
M: You know you were a college kid in the mid 2000s when your gut reaction is “get off my screen!” when George W. Bush is on TV. His dog paintings are QT tho.
T: This is an In Memoriam for all the shows we lost this year? Here for it. Still gonna cry. SPOILER ALERT, THOUGH.
M: Again. The reason these always run 20 mins over.
T: I’M CRYING BECAUSE PARKS.
M: ME TOO. And offended that Two And A Half Men is on my TV, for hopefully the last time ever.
Outstanding Limited Series
American Crime
American Horror Story: Freak Show
The Honorable Woman
Olive Kitteridge
Wolf Hall
Molly’s Pick: Olive Kitteridge
The Target Book Club picks can’t be wrong
Traci’s Pick: Olive Kitteridge
Read above.
Winner: Olive Kitteridge
M: I filled that in as winner before they announced it.
Olive Kitteridge: A Plucky Girl Who Loves Her Country And Her Family. $82.99 plus S+H.
9: 47 M: Okay, I think we’re finally done with miniseries right? And almost done with TV movies? Can’t believe the Hannah Anderson Story didn’t make the cut.
Outstanding Variety Sketch Series
Drunk History
Inside Amy Schumer
Key & Peele
Portlandia
Saturday Night Live
Molly’s Pick: Inside Amy Schumer
The show seriously hit its stride this year. Key & Peele might have a shot.
Traci’s Pick: Inside Amy Schumer
Even though the SNL40 special was epic in every sense of the word, it’s Amy Schumer’s year, and she deserves it. The show was obviously really good this year too.
Winner: Inside Amy Schumer
M: Love that this happened.
T: YAY! I’m tearing up already! I don’t even watch this show on the regular! “We all had to get Final Draft once they picked up the show.” This makes me laugh slash cry even more.
M: Amy thanks “this girl who gave me sort of a smoky eye.”
T: UM THEY JUST CUT AMY SCHUMER OFF???
M: WHO WOULD EVER???
10:07
Outstanding Variety, Music, or Comedy Series
The Colbert Report
The Daily Show
Jimmy Kimmel Live!
Last Week Tonight with John Oliver
Late Show with David Letterman
The Tonight Show Starring Jimmy Fallon
Molly’s Pick: The Colbert Report
More as a win for its whole run, not this season alone.
Traci’s Pick: The Colbert Report
With three outgoing shows, it’s tough to say which sentimental program to pick, but I’m going with The Colbert Report.
Winner: The Daily Show
M: Well, that’s just as good a sentimental pick for me. Also, remember in the early years of Daily Show when they’d have interviews with random people who didn’t know it was fake news?
T: The on stage graphic for the Drama categories turned red and all of a sudden it was The Red Wedding, amirite? (Again, we don’t watch GoT).
Outstanding Writing for a Drama Series
Joshua Brand, The Americans, “Do Mail Robots Dream of Electric Sheep?”
Gordon Smith, Better Call Saul, “Five-O”
David Benioff and David Weiss, Game of Thrones, “Mother’s Mercy”
Matthew Weiner, Mad Men, “Lost Horizon”
Matthew Weiner, Mad Men, “Person to Person”
Molly’s Pick: Matthew Weiner, Mad Men, “Person to Person”
A sentimental pick that was actually good.
Traci’s Pick: Matthew Weiner, Mad Men, “Person to Person”
I really liked the Mad Men series finale, and have an inkling in will win, but in my heart of hearts, Lost Horizon, the episode that gave us this fantastic gif, is the tops.
Winner: David Benioff and David Weiss, Game of Thrones, “Mother’s Mercy”
T: Reg Cathey’s glasses though. Also this is his real voice? He gives Morgan Freeman a run for his money.
10: 18 M: UGHH Promising college students. As though their youth isn’t enough?
I love creative excellence as much as the next girl, but straight up nobody cares about high-achieving youths except for their families when all of us want this to end at 11 EST.
Outstanding Supporting Actress in a Drama Series
Joanne Froggatt, Downton Abbey
Lena Headey, Game of Thrones
Emilia Clarke, Game of Thrones
Christina Hendricks, Mad Men
Uzo Aduba, Orange Is the New Black
Christine Baranski, The Good Wife
Molly’s Pick: Christina Hendricks, Mad Men.
I don’t know if this is a likely win, but I feel like a lot of people only mention her role in terms of the costuming and such, and overlook that Joan is a nuanced, layered character and Christina kills it.
Traci’s Pick: Christina Hendricks, Mad Men
I really want Mad Men to be the Breaking Bad of this year’s Emmys, in that because it was its last year, they got all the awards. But Christina will have some tough competition, including from Uzo Aduba, who is moving up in the world after submitting as a Supporting Actress as opposed to the Guest Actress like last year (which she won).
Winner: Uzo Aduba
M: !
T: HI I’M CRYING AGAIN.
M: is it weird that they have a crawler telling us when the In Memorium is? Also the bumpers tease the next segments like a bad local news commercial. “Will we remember our favorite entertainers in the In Memorium? Find out at 11!”
10:28
Outstanding Supporting Actor in a Drama Series
Jonathan Banks, Better Call Saul
Ben Mendelsohn, Bloodline
Jim Carter, Downton Abbey
Peter Dinklage, Game of Thrones
Michael Kelly, House of Cards
Alan Cumming, The Good Wife
Molly’s Pick: Peter Dinklage, Game of Thrones
Not sure. Sometimes he wins things.
Traci’s Pick: Michael Kelly, House of Cards
Ben Mendelsohn was fantastic in Bloodline, like so good that as you’re watching it, you know he’s bound to be nominated for something. But Michael Kelly went through a lot of shit on HoC this season, so I’m going with him.
Winner: Peter Dinklage
“and the rest”
M: Ah, yes. Sometimes he wins things, indeed.
T: Um, what’s happening? Why is Game of Thrones winning a lot of things?
But seriously, it’s rapey as hell and I’m just not interested. Dragons? Swords? Nah.
M: In Memorium. Wonder what percentage of In Memoriums use Somewhere Over The Rainbow or It’s A Wonderful World? Or that one mashup of both of them. It’s like Catholic funerals with On Eagles’ Wings, clearly engineered to make you cry.
M: Got misty with Jan Hooks and Edward Hermann. Because I’m a human.
10: 40
Outstanding Lead Actor in a Drama Series
Kyle Chandler, Bloodline
Jeff Daniels, The Newsroom
Jon Hamm, Mad Men
Bob Odenkirk, Better Call Saul
Liev Schrieber, Ray Donovon
Kevin Spacey, House of Cards
Molly’s Pick: Jon Hamm, Mad Men.
Makes sense.
Traci’s Pick: Jon Hamm, Mad Men
Legit forgot Kyle Chandler was nominated. But I’m going with my boy Don Draper, because he’s already had a tough life, let’s give him this, at the very least.
Winner: Jon Hamm, Mad Men
T: I AM LITERALLY JUMPING UP AND DOWN AND CHEERING FOR HAMM, WHO IS LOOKING LIKE A SMOKESHOW (PER USUAL)
M: Too tired to jump (although I need the fitbit steps) but I am smiling placidly. I like when his face is on TV.
T: ALSO, THIS:
Drew Baird & Liz Lemon
M: Oooh. Not at all ready for this category.
Outstanding Lead Actress in a Drama Series
Claire Danes, Homeland
Viola Davis, How to Get Away with Murder
Taraji P. Henson, Empire
Tatiana Maslany, Orphan Black
Elisabeth Moss, Mad Men
Robin Wright, House of Cards
Molly’s Pick: Tatiana Maslany, Orphan Black
I know getting nominated for a BBC America genre series is a win in itself and I shouldn’t expect any more, but it would still be nice. Whatever, she won my fashion prize. Which I’m sure is just what Tatiana Maslany wants. To win Molly from the Internet’s imaginary fashion prize.
Traci’s Pick: Elisabeth Moss, Mad Men
Such a tough category! I have been going back and forth a lot with this one, and I’m just going to go with Elisabeth Moss. She’s been nominated for the show six times, and like Jonny Hamm, she has never won an Emmy on her own. I so so so so happy that Tatiana got nominated this year, like all of the Internet, but it’s going to be a miracle for her to win over enough Emmy voters to win this one.
Winner: Viola Davis, How To Get Away With Murder
T: WELL. GUSES WHO’S CRYING.
M: GOD am I crying.
“You cannot win an Emmy for roles that are not there.”
10:50
Outstanding Comedy Series
Louie
Modern Family
Parks and Recreation
Silicon Valley
Transparent
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
Veep
Molly’s Pick: Transparent
It just seems like the sort of thing Emmy Voters would go for. That or Silicon Valley.
Traci’s Pick: Transparent
I really really really really hope I’m wrong and Parks takes it and literally runs away into a party where they get wasted and just be best friends all night long.
Winner: Veep
M: Emmys love Veep, huh?
T: Anna Chlumsky is EXCITED. But, tbh, so am I. It’s about time Modern Family stopped winning this category.
M: I love a good Andy Samberg tuxedo.
M: TRACY MORGAN.
T: YUP IT’S HAPPENING. TOO MANY TEARS TONIGHT.
M: I’m gonna have a crying headache tomorrow. What, you guys don’t get those? It’s like a tear-hangover.
Outstanding Drama Series
Better Call Saul
Downton Abbey
Game of Thrones
Homeland
House of Cards
Mad Men
Orange Is the New Black
Molly’s Pick: Mad Men
Come back.
Traci’s Pick: Mad Men
I miss you already, Mad Men.
Winner: Game of Thrones
M: ????
T: GUYS. MAD MEN THO. WHAT IS ACTUALLY HAPPENING.
M: LIKE ARE DRAGON SQUADS THAT EXCITING?! I do not know how Mad Men didn’t win. All of the people involved with GoT seem really cool and nice, and I’m sure they are great and the show is great too, but still.
Okay guys, that’s it! Thanks for reading and be sure to come back tomorrow for our fashion post! Gonna go pop some ibuprofen to fight off our tear-hangovers.
If you’ve arrived to our blog for the first time, it’s important you know that you will see multiple posts under tags like, “Amy Poehler”, “90s” and “Gilmore Girls”, among others. The latter of which, we dedicated an entire week to in June in preparation for our visit to the ATX Television Festival for the Gilmore Girls Reunion. Yeah, we’re those kind of bloggers.
Naturally, anything concerning the show would make us interested, including a little podcast called the Gilmore Guys. I first heard of it last December, since my friends know I’m a crazy Gilly (GG fan), they asked if I had listened to this podcast yet. The conceit is simple – a longtime fan (Kevin) and someone who had never seen the show before (Demi) discuss every episode in the show’s seven-season run. Ok y’all, full disclosure – I started listening to the first episode and I just couldn’t get through it. I felt like they were trying too hard to prove they were funny and entertaining, and I went in hoping for insightful criticism on GG’s pilot ep.
Fast forward to a few months later when they had Scott Patterson (#LUKEDANESDREAMMAN) on the show, and obviously I needed to tune in. Although this particular episode was an interview (Gilmore Gab, if you will) instead of the usual discussion of an episode, I noticed that they were much more interesting to listen to, and felt like they were finally comfortable behind the mic. That led me to download random episodes, which led me to stalking Kevin on Twitter and seeing his suggestion to follower about which eps to listen to as a first-timer… and I quickly became obsessed. All I would do was listen to the podcast, and at a rapid pace, might I add, because I wanted to get caught up. This lead me to start rewatching GG on Netflix from the beginning so I could following along at home while listening to the podcast. I’ve been even more obsessed with GG lately (if that’s even possible), and started telling anyone who’s ever watched an episode of the show about the podcast. And that’s what I’m going to do today for this post.
Where can I find the episodes?
Click here! Or ya know, use that Podcast app on your phone that you can’t delete.
Who is this podcast really for?
Gilmore Girls fans (both gals and guys) who like hearing a different perspective on the show with a comedy twist. This isn’t a serious in-depth podcast. You will legit LOL.
What’s the deal with these dudes?
Kevin is a freelance editor by time, longtime fan by night, and Demi works on social media/interactive components for @midnight, and first-time fan by night. They met through UCB (Upright Citizens Brigade, you n00bs), and exactly a year ago, Kevin sent out a tweet half joking about doing a podcast about the show, since it was about to launch on Netflix. Demi responded and the rest is history.
Where did you take that picture? Who is that man in the middle?
Because I’ve reached the height of by obsession, I recently attended one of their live shows (AKA Town Meetings) in LA. They’ve already been to New York, Austin, Philadelphia and D.C., but since Kevin and Demi are based in LA, most of their shows are here. The guy in the middle is comedian Paul F. Tompkins, who was the guest for Episode 507, You Jump, I Jump Jack, which you Gillys might know as the Life & Death Brigade episode. Hence the tuxedos, umbrellas, and Out of Africa outfit.
There are guests?
Yes! Kevin & Demi rarely do an episode solo bolo, and often have one other person in the studio discussing the episode. The guests, usually comedians or in that world, either are fans of the show or, like Demi, have never seen it before.
Intriguing. So which episodes should I listen to as a first-timer?
Again, because folks know I’m hardcore, they’ve asked me about my thoughts on the podcast, or if I know my friends are Gillys, I’ll bug them to listen to episodes. In saying that, I created a Gilmore Guys Podcast Starter Kit, and now I’m sharing it with y’all! They’re currently at the beginning of season five, so there is plenty of time to catch up, and I’m sure many more great eps to come!
207 Like Mother Like Daughter w/ Jeff Hiller
208 The Inns & Outs of Inns w/ Jamie Woodham
219 Teach Me Tonight w/ Sean Clements
221 Lorelai’s Graduation Day w/ Aisha Muharrar
222 I Can’t Get Started w/ DC Pierson
307 They Shoot Gilmores, Don’t They? w/ Jason Mantzoukas
309 A Deep Fried Korean Thanksgiving w/ Sarah Heyward
316 The Big One w/ Aisha Muharrar
401 Ballrooms and Biscotti w/ Jeff Hiller
404 Chicken or Beef? w/ Anthony Troli
413 Nag Hammadi Is Where They Found the Gnostic Gospels w/ Keiko Agena & Sarah Ramos
414 The Incredible Shrinking Lorelais w/ Keiko Agena, Stacey Oristano, and Sarah Ramos
421 Last Week’s Fights, This Week’s Tights w/ Aisha Muharrar, Mike DiCenzo and Mara Wilson
422 Raincoats & Recipes w/ Jason Mantzoukas
501 Say Goodbye To Daisy Miller w/ Todd Buonopane
Looks like some pretty awesome guests. Have they ever talked to any other members of the cast?
Why yes, yes they have! As previously mentioned, they had a Gilmore Gab with Scott Patterson, and recently interviewed Sean Gunn (Kirk) and Liza Weil (Paris). They’ve surprised fans at a NYC show by inviting Wayne Wilcox (Marty) to read some “lost scripts” – the full vid of which you can watch here -, and at the ATX Festival, Kevin had a chance to sit down with the Queen, Emily Gilmore aka Kelly Bishop. Also, they’ve interviewed executive producer Helen Pai and composer Sam Phillips (the ‘La Las’ singer), and maybe my fave gab, with casting directors Jami Rudofsky and Mara Casey, who are fantastically enthusiastic and give great insight on behind-the-scenes stuff.
Do I need to know anything before I dive into these?
My rule with any new TV show is to watch three episodes. If I still don’t like it after the third one, I quit. I’d say apply that rule to this podcast (even though I think you’ll only need one to get into them). Also, it helps if you’re a Gilmore Girls fan, new or old.
Ok, bottom line – why should I spend my time listening to this? And please be as thorough as possible with your answer, maybe even longer than you have to.
There’s probably no one more surprised to see the huge success of the podcast than Kevin and Demi themselves, but my theory is simple – it’s the perfect storm (the good kind, of course).
Gilmore Girls ended in 2007, wrapping with a seventh season many fans consider as its worst, since creator Amy Sherman-Palladino left due to failed contract negotiations at the end of season six. Moreover, they didn’t know if season seven was going to be its last or not, so what turned out to be the series finale was left open ended, leaving fans wanting more, and wanting closure.
I like to classify Gillys into three different groups – the OGswho watched it from the beginning and during its actual run (2000-2007), The Middle Sisterswho started watching in the past few years thanks to ABC Family reruns and DVDs, and The Netflix Generation, who began to binge the entire series when it went up last fall.
Group all those together and you get a bunch of fans (most of whom are nostalgic-craving millennials) currently (re)watching Gilmore Girls, a show that ended eight years ago. So when Kevin started this podcast last fall (around the time everyone was obsessed with Adnan Syed) because the show was going up on Netflix, he unknowningly had a huge fan base already.
Adding to the ‘perfect storm’ is Demi, someone who is popular on the Internet (just don’t call him a Vine star), funny, and up for anything, including agreeing to do a podcast for a seven-season show he’s never seen before and doesn’t even know if he’ll like. But that’s what makes the podcast interesting – no matter where you are in your Gilmore Girls ‘journey’, you can relate to either Kevin or Demi. Together, they make a great team and bounce off each other really well, with not only off-the-cuff jokes, but insights – by GUYS – that most female fans of the show haven’t heard that much of.
As mentioned, they frequently invite guests on the show, which makes the listener want to keep coming back each episode to hear a new perspective. Also, because of their connections to UCB and the comedy world, they’ve managed to score impressive guest stars like Jason Mantzoukas, Jessica St. Clair, Paul Scheer, and Paul F. Tompkins, and of course having Luke Danes hint that there could be a future for the show then getting picked up by hundreds of news outlets doesn’t hurt either.
In addition, it was a real blessing that the Gilmore Girls cast reunited at the ATX Television Festival in June, something that hasn’t happened since the show ended, adding even more attention to their podcast (and again, Scott mentioned it during the ATX panel). The resurgence of interest also rings true among the millenial fans of the show, who now work at places Rory would die for like The New York Times Magazine and The Washington Post, and can write articles about their favorite podcast.
In summation, this podcast is coming in hot at the right time, with a podcast by two insightful and hilarious hosts who *get* the show and treat it reverently, not like some extra-curricular hobby they have to take part in. Gilmore Guys is listed in the Comedy/Entertainment section for a reason, and you’ll soon see why.
The 21st (yes, really) season of America’s favorite celebrity ballroom competition series kicked off last night with a whole new crew of stars, a term which is used very loosely for this show.
I got into DWTS a few years ago due to my job, and although I’m no longer required to watch it, I find myself accidentally tuning in. This year, I had no choice, since my boy Nick Carter signed up for the show. (BTW my first reaction upon hearing he was cast was ‘Oh no. Nickolas. What are you doing.’ It changed to, ‘I guess I’ll be voting this season?). Of course this isn’t the first time a pop star or even boy bander has joined the competition, and it got me thinking – over the course of 21 seasons, the casting department and producers of DWTS, especially over the past few years, have made it a mission to fulfill certain “stereotypes” when it comes to the contestants on the show. Nick isn’t the first pop singer to join the program, and he’s certainly not the last.
Let’s delve into the certain characters and qualities that appear on the show every year – and determine who actually has a shot of winning the coveted MIRROR BALL TROPHY.
*denotes winner of season
Season 21 Contestant: Nick Carter {Backstreet Boys}
Filling the Quota: Pop star and-or actor/has plenty of dance experience/ringer
Preceded by: Alfonso Ribeiro (S19)*, Corbin Bleu (S17), Aaron Carter (S9), Lance Bass (S7), Mario (S6), Joey Fatone (S4), Drew Lachey (S2)*, Joey McIntyre (S1)
Usually Partnered With: Sharna Burgess, Alison Holker, Cheryl Burke
Notes: This contestant usually comes in having an impressive background in dance, but not necessarily with ballroom, making them meet high expectations on the dance floor. They’ve also got a sufficient fan base that will vote for them, no matter what.
Usually Partnered With: Tony Dovolani, Artem Chigvintsev
Notes: This contestant usually makes it fairly far (not eliminated the first two weeks), even though they’re not usually the best dancer, but they’re universally loved and bring personality and charisma to the show.
Season 21 Contestant: Bindi Irwin {Crocodile Hunter Steve Irwin’s Daughter}
Filling the Quota: Most likely to be on cover of CosmoGirl or Teen People
Notes: The teens are eager to learn, and quick to learn, maybe most importantly. They also make it fairly far in the competition, and it’s always a fine line between being sexy on the dance floor and remembering they’re underage.
Season 21 Contestant: Andy Grammer {Singer/Songwriter}
Filling the Quota: Rando singer/musician
Preceded by: Redfoo (S20), Gavin DeGraw (S14), Master P (S2), Billy Ray Cyrus (S4), Chuck Wicks (S8), Donny Osmond* (S9), Michael Bolton (S11).
Usually Partnered With: Allison Holker, Sharna Burgess, Emma Slater
Notes: You’d think musicians would have good rhythm as dancers, but most of the time, it just means their rhythm is better suited off the dance floor.
Season 21 Contestant: Tamar Braxton {R&B singer/Reality TV star}
Filling the Quota: Rando female singer
Preceded by: Willa Ford (S3), Marie Osmond and Mel B (S5), Toni Braxton (S7), Belinda Carlisle (S8), Macy Gray and Mya (S9), Nicole Scherzinger * (S10), Brandy (S11), Chynna Phillips (S13), Wynonna Judd and Kellie Pickler (S16),
Usually Partnered With: Maksim Chmerkovskiy, Val Chmerkovskiy, Derek Hough
Notes: Same as Rando Male Singer. Unless you’re former Pussycat Dolls star Nicole Scherzinger, who should could as a boy band ringer.
Season 21 Contestant: Victor Espinoza {Jockey/Triple Crown Winner}
Filling the Quota: Athlete
Preceded by: Michael Sam (S20), Michael Waltrip (S19), Keyshawn Johnson (S17), Jacoby Jones and Victor Oritz (S16), Donald Driver (S14)*, Metta World Peace (S13), Sugar Ray Leonard and Hines Ward (S12)*, Rick Fox (S11), Chad Ochocinco (S10), Warren Sapp (S7), Helio Castroneves* (S5), Apolo Anton Ohno (S4), Emmitt Smith (S3)*
Usually Partnered With: Witney Carson, Karina Smirnoff, Cheryl Burke
Notes: Unless they’re an NFL star, they have no chance of winning.
Season 21 Contestant: Hayes Grier {Vine Personality}
Filling the Quota: Reality TV/Internet Person/WHO?
Preceded by: Mark Cuban (S5), Rocco DiSpirito (S7), Steve-O (S8), Jake Pavelka (S10), Mike “The Situation” Sorrentino (S11), Carson Kressley and Rob Kardashian (S13), Sean Lowe (S16),
Usually Partnered With: Emma Slater, Peta Murgatroyd, Karina Smirnoff
Notes: Although this person has plenty of fans, the contestant has a lot of work to do in the dance studio. He gets frustrated often and knows how to be dramatic in front of a camera.
Season 21 Contestant: Alexa Penavega {Actress}
Filling the Quota: Younger actress
Preceded by: Rumer Willis (S20)*, Janel Parrish (S19), Chelsea Kane (S12), Sabrina Bryan (S5), Monique Coleman (S3), Kelly Monaco* (S1)
Usually Partnered With: Val Chmerkovskiy, Mark Ballas, Artem Chigvintsev
Notes: Is the underdog, surprisingly good and consistent throughout the show, a force to be reckoned with towards the end.
Season 21 Contestant: Carlos Penavega {Actor/Singer}
Filling the Quota: Younger actor/singer
Preceded by: Riker Lynch (S20), James Maslow (S18), Brant Daugherty (S17), Roshon Fegan and William Levy (S14), Romeo Miller (S12), Kyle Massey (S11), Cody Linley (S7)
Usually Partnered With: Alison Holker, Witney Carson
Notes: Is the underdog, surprisingly good and consistent throughout the show, a force to be reckoned with towards the end.
Filling the Quota: Older actor/Comedian/Not a chance in hell
Preceded by: Tommy Chong (S20), Andy Dick (S16) David Hasselhoff (S11), Buzz Aldrin (S10) Tom DeLay (S9), Steve Wozniak (S8), Jeffrey Ross (S7), The Holy Trinity – Steve Guttenberg, Penn Jillette and Adam Carolla (S6), Wayne Newton (S5), Jerry Springer (S3)
Usually Partnered With: Kym Johnson, Cheryl Burke, Emma Slater, Anna Trebunskaya
Notes: Just. No.
Season 21 Contestant: Paula Deen {Former Food Network Star/This Guy}
Filling the Quota: Older Actress/TV Personality
Preceded by: Suzanne Somers (S20), Betsey Johnson and Lea Thompson (S19), Valerie Harper (S17), Ricki Lake (S13), Kirstie Alley (S12), Florence Henderson (S11), Cloris Leachman (S7)
Usually Partnered With: Tony Dovolani, Artem Chigvintsev
Notes: Depending on the star herself, they could either fail (Cloris) or do really well (Kirstie).
Season 21 Contestant: Kim Zolciak Biermann {The Real Housewives of Atlanta}
Filling the Quota: Reality TV Star
Preceded by: Lisa Vanderpump (S16), Kristin Cavallari (13), Kendra Wilkinson (S12), Audrina Patridge and Bristol Palin (S11), Kate Gosselin (S10), Joanna Krupa (S9), Holly Madison and Melissa Rycroft (S8), Kim Kardashian (S7), Trista Sutter (S1)
Usually Partnered With: Tony Dovolani, Louis van Amstel, Mark Ballas
Notes: Because this is a REALITY competition show, after all.
Season 21 Contestant: National Guardsman Alex Skarlatos {one of the Americans who helped stop a gunman on a Paris-bound train}
Usually Partnered With: Karina Smirnoff, Derek Hough
Notes: The demographic for DWTS LOVES a good inspirational story, one that makes you cry in the video package shown before their dance every week. This contestant usually does really well.
Other Random Quotas Not Filled This Season:
Female Athletes: Laila Ali (S4) ,Monica Seles and Kristi Yamaguchi* (S6), Misty May-Treanor (S7), Shawn Johnson* (S8), Natalie Coughlin (S9), Hope Solo (S13), Martina Navratilova (S14), Dorothy Hamill and Alexandra Raisman (S16), Lolo Jones (S19)
Female Models: Rachel Hunter (S1), Shanna Moakler (S3), Kathy Ireland (S9), Petra Němcová and Elisabetta Canalis (S13), Charlotte McKinney (S20)
Middle-Aged Actress That Were Somewhat Relevant At Some Point In Their Career: Tia Carrere and Tatum O’Neal (S2), Jennie Garth (S5), Shannon Elizabeth (S6), Shannen Doherty (S7), Denise Richards (S8), Melissa Joan Hart (S9), Pamela Anderson (S10 & 15), Ricki Lake (S13), Melissa Gilbert (S14), Elizabeth Berkley Lauren (S17), Danica McKellar (S18)
Middle-Aged Actor That Were Somewhat Relevant At Some Point In Their Career: John O’Hurley (S1), Joey Lawrence and Mario Lopez (S3), Ian Ziering (S4), Ralph Macchio (s12),
Season 21 Predictions: Final Three – Nick Carter, Bindi Irwin and Carlos Penavega
The Miss America pageant is still a thing, and we have questions.
Usually we reserve the Questions, Comments, and Concerns format for Lifetime Movies, but it works for anything that lends itself to Cathy Comic humor (which, since the early 1980s, has been the female analog to dad jokes). Vaseline your teeth and hairspray your butt, it’s pageant time!
Comment: Disinterest in Miss America is my destiny.
9/14/86: Kellye Cash’s first full day as Miss America, my first day as a human.
On another September 13, 29 years ago, my mother’s water broke when she was watching Miss America with my sister. I was like “nah, this looks boring, not interested” and waited to be born until the morning. I find that fetal me and newly-29-year-old me have a lot in common.
Question: Who WRITES these tag lines?
Each of the contestants delivers a little …. is quip the word? blurb, maybe … about her state. They all contain either G-rated sexual innuendo, Cathy Comics humor, or a fact about the state that is not what the state is known for. Example: “Popcorn, get your popcorn! Representing the state that contributes the most to the US popcorn supply! I’m Miss (Indiana maybe?)” Miss Massachusetts informs us that hers is the state of Meghan Trainor, just like schoolchildren will be saying 50 years hence. Another contestant mentions that her state is the home of Sutton Foster and I get very excited that Sutton Foster might be on the program. Nope. Just a factoid about Georgia.
Comment: The winner of last year’s pageant graduated debt-free thanks to the Miss America scholarships.
I feel the same way about pageant scholarships as I do about kiddie pageant “prizes.” You must have to incur so many costs participating that all you are really do is recoup some of your expenses. They probably have sponsors, but still. Here’s an NPR article on the topic. For every contestant who wins the big prize, many more get filtered out at the state level or don’t make the first cut and get like $1-3K. I’m just saying, if your goal is to get money for college, there are more direct ways to go about it.
Comment: They all have the same haircut except the one with a pixie.
She’s like the post-haircut Mary Anne Spier of the group.
“Come smell our dairy air!” – actual thing that was said.
Questions: What is this America’s Choice vs Judges’ Choice thing?
Some contestants get in to the top 15 by “America’s Choice” (voting) and others by “judges’ choice.” Is it just a way to make sure that the network gets the people they want in the finals? Like a reality show?
Concern: They are incorporating every awful top-40 song on the airwaves into the broadcast.
Nick Jonas curated them.
Questions: How much does it suck to be the girl NEXT to the girl who is called who has to pretend that she is happy?
Today, they are all Justin Guarini.
Question: The swimsuit competition still exists in 2015?
Concern: The swimsuit competition still exists in 2015.
Comment: Zendaya puts her glasses on during the swimsuit competition, like she really needs to STUDY this.
All of the judges are wearing serious thinking faces, like Joey Tribbiani Smell The Fart acting.
Concern: It seems even worse to be one of the three eliminated after swimsuit than to not make the top 15 at all.
“We thought you were Miss America material, but it turns out you are garbage in a bathing suit.”
Comment: They call the group of former winners the “sisterhood of Miss America.”
Only sisterhood I am interested in: “of the Traveling Pants.”
Concern: The judges seem super ambivalent about swimsuit as well.
Vanessa Williams says the first thing they judge is confidence in swimsuit. Then expounds that this is very hard because all of the contestants dread it. Then maybe just … don’t anymore?
Zendaya: “A woman is more than wearing evening gowns.” Sometimes, it’s wearing bathing suits.
Question: A contestant mentions that she bargain shops for clothes due to her “college budget,” but wouldn’t she have a whole lot more cash flow if she weren’t spending thousands a year on pageants?
Comment: Mary Katherine Fechtel laid down during the “lay me down” part of Bridge Over Troubled Water in her dance.
It’s a sentimental, not-too-peppy song, but she dances the whole time wearing a smile that could light up the Eiffel Tower.
Comment: They give little facts about the contestants during their talent.
The contestant singing Happy Days Are Here Again overcame cervical cancer.
Concern: Miss Louisiana cuts a few verses from Climb Every Mountain so it doesn’t make sense.
She is behind a half-beat or so for part of it, which makes me think the backing track is reaching her ears a tad too late.
Comment: Miss Louisiana forgot to tan the back of her arms.
Question: Why the loud background music for the contestant playing piano?
You can tell she’s good, but you can barely hear it for all the synthesized cha-cha . It’s like Hannah Robison (Miss Tennessee) being amazing at piano wasn’t “flashy” enough.
Note: I can hear piano later, during the violin number.
Concern: I am probably an awful person for thinking that the monologue was dreadful.
Miss Colorado, Kelley Johnson, performs a monologue as a nurse talking about a patient who has Alzheimer’s. It reminds me very much of a Mary Katherine Gallagher tv movie monologue, and the delivery is stilted. It’s like being a fly on the wall for a bad audition. I always feel for the girls who didn’t have an artistic talent before the contest and obviously had to come up with something they could do.
Comment: It seems like there’s always someone who sings opera.
This year: Miss Georgia, who also gave us that fun tidbit about Sutton Foster. I like her.
Concern: A contestant is asked which woman should go on the $10 bill. She answers Ellen DeGeneres.
I love Ellen as much as the next lady, but she didn’t exactly free the slaves or lead the fight for suffrage, y’know?
Comment: Miss Tennessee nailed a question about defunding Planned Parenthood.
Bless her, she had the eyeballs of a deer who’s about to get hit by a semi, probably because she runs with a pageant crowd from Tennessee, but good on her.
Concern: What will happen when Miss Alabama is asked about Donald Trump?
She says that “if she were a Republican, she would be terrified” of him as a serious candidate. Let’s be clear, I think pageants are silly, but all of the contestants are hardworking, smart, and polished – they have to be to make it this far.
Question: Why were the hosts so hurried that they cut off the judges throughout the whole show, then they draw out the announcement of winner for like 10 minutes?
Comment: You always feel kind of happy when the person you were rooting for wins. Go Georgia! I guess.
Besides, isn’t Betty Cantrell a great name for a pageant winner from Georgia? You could also hear her eye-roll when she explained that her gown shows “like an inch of midriff,” making me think she’s had to explain that dozens of times already.
Concern: After the crowning my station abruptly cut to black then started playing Judy Blue Eyes by Crosby Stills & Nash.
… which made me worry that a disaster occurred in Atlantic City. It’s fine. Just my local ABC affiliate being a silly goose.
Maybe we’re getting a little carried away with our role as Fantasy Network Executives, but we’re pretty sure we can predict exactly what will be on tv in 4 years. Expect the new batch of series to contain a breakout SNL star, CBS’s latest Fat Guy/Skinny Wife offering, a movie franchise adaptation, a poorly planned reboot, and a patently offensive comeback or two. And Ryan Seacrest, always Ryan Seacrest. So what’s on the block for 2019? Set your DVR’s way ahead, it’s going to be quite a year!
Selfie Off with Ryan Seacrest
The top 10 selfie takers in America face-off (quite literally) in a variety of different challenges to see who can take the best photo. On a rollercoaster, next to a fire, in a haunted house, who will not let outside elements deter them from their photography skills and ultimately take the crown of America’s Favorite Selfie Taker? This show does not do well.
Sass and Grass
James Franco and Taraji P. Henson star in this buddy cop dramedy patrolling a rough Philadelphia high school, which has a bad weed problem. Except Franco may have a weed problem of his own.
Soul Mates
Teen ghost falls in love with a living teen (teen ghosts are the teen vampires of 2019).
Fantastic Four
Because if it fails on the big screen, let’s try TV instead.
The Franny
A reality show starring Fran Drescher, featuring her life as a TV producer and her close friendship with her gay ex-husband.
The George Lopez Project
In this George Lopez vehicle, he plays the George Lopez character from his 2002-2007 series “George Lopez.” He has moved to Tallahassee to care for his aunt with whom he has “comedic” (but not actually funny) spats.
Waffle King Juniors
The search for the best kid waffle maker is on. Hosted by Alton Brown, sponsored by IHOP. As the title suggests, Waffle King is already a show by this point.
Tiny Houseboat International
Features people looking to not only downsize their home but also sail the high seas (but not too high, these boats are TINY).
Roller Coaster Tycoon
In this Apprentice spinoff hosted by Neil Patrick Harris, the search is on for the next great amusement park mogul.
Pretty In Provo
Aidy Bryant stars as a Cool Mormon trying to juggle her mommy blog and etsy shop, while wrangling her kids Wren, Polly, and Olive-Lou. Her house and outfits are bright and adorable, and we… kind of want this to exist for real? AIDY?
Jerry Maguire
In this TV adaptation of Jerry Maguire, Jerry is played by that British kid from Finding Neverland (Freddie Highmore).
By The Book
Keri Russell and Barry Watson are former classmates at NYU who were academic rivals (there was always a sexual tension between them, but nothing happened). Now they’ve both returned to their alma mater as professors in the same English department and still have that feeling of hatred towards each other but also even stronger sexual tension. One of the students is young Gene Draper from Mad Men. There are sweeps week guest spots by Scott Speedman and Amy Jo Johnson.
Blueprint For Love
Taran Killam stars as a Ted Mosby type, but less pretentious and more funny and charming. He’s an architect, trying to follow the rules from an archaic dating guide to the letter in the hope of meeting “the one.”
Gal Pals
Katie Holmes and Ellen Page star as sisters who have to pretend that they’re dating in order to rent an apartment in San Francisco, a la Three’s Company.
The London Editor
A career-driven American 30-something (one of our 2019 TV Rookies To Watch) who has no time for love spars with her London-based editor (Thomas Sangster, the kid from Love Actually). She pictures him as a grumpy old sourpuss, but discovers that he’s actually a young, charming curmudgeon. But they live on different continents and, again, she doesn’t have TIME for love!
Kangaroo Court with Bindi Irwin
Bindi Irwin travels to wildlife preserves across Australia, solving training problems and inter-animal rivalries: think Dog Whisperer, but with more kangaroos.
Gossip Woman
In this CW reboot of Gossip Girl, all-grown-up Jenny Humphrey is a touring musician who is haunted by a gossip blogger (still Dan). Inexplicably, Jenny and Dan (along with a few of their classmates) are parents to teenagers, who start to find that their own secrets are being revealed.
Silver Sisters
This reboot of Golden Girls features a cast of 38-44 year old women (the oldest allowable in 2019).
Meerkat Detective
A animated/live-action comedy about a Meerkat detective who solves crimes in Chicago using the social media live video app Meerkat.
Suburban Legends
After years in the city, Jake Potter moves back to the suburb of his youth, where he is reunited with all of his old childhood gang and they pick up right where they left off … to much head-shaking by his prim wife, Julie. There are ’90s and early ’00s flashbacks. This is CBS’s requisite Fat Guy/Skinny Wife show for 2019, and it stars Shia LaBeouf (who is fat in 2019).
Ill-Conceived
In this attempted comeback, Amanda Bynes plays a sassy, wealthy young doctor who recently took up a post at an inner-city abortion clinic as terms of some kind of probation. The show is quickly canceled because everyone hates it, and in the final episode to air Amanda discovers that she’s pregnant. Maybe Diablo Cody writes it?
CSI: Des Moines
It stars Dylan McDermott and Dermot Mulroney, who play Daniel Muldowney and Donny McDaniel.
Law And Order: Car Theft
When your car gets stolen, who you gonna call? Probably 911, who will tell you to call 311, who will refer you to this department run by Camryn Manheim.
So You Think You Lift, Bro?
Just two dudes facing off, lifting heavier and heavier weights as the competition goes on. It’s not a hit on primetime and gets cancelled after two episodes on Spike. Hulu’s fitness-oriented online platform MeatHead, picks it up and does great.
Floored
Brad Pitt realizes every A-lister is starring in a TV show so he does too. In a multi-cam comedy for CBS, Brad plays the super of an Upper East Side apartment building in New York City. He’s an overall upbeat guy and the quirky tenants (think Gilmore Girls or Parks & Rec townies) love him – but when his ex-fiancee moves into the building to live with her new fiance, his jealousy and cattiness comes out. The show airs after the Shia LaBeouf show.
Another Shonda Rhimes show
Doesn’t even matter what it’s about. It’ll be on and we’ll watch it.
Dubya
George W. Bush stars in this docu-series about the months leading up to his first big art show installation at the Metropolitan Museum of Art. He shows a stressed side we’ve never seen before but manages to keep his positive attitude a crack a few (a lot) of dad jokes in the process.
If you’re anything like me, you make a list of all the things you want to do at the beginning of the summer, and then you procrastinate and blink and it’s September all of a sudden. TIME, MAN. Since there isn’t toooo much going on television wise in the summer months, it’s usually a good time to binge-watch the shows you’ve been meaning to forever. But like I said, it’s September already and those fall premiere dates are right around the corner. However, you still have a window of time to catch up on those buzzed-about shows in time for the new season, so we’ve made a handy list of programs we think you should binge instead of that home improvement project you’ve been putting off. You can do that later.
Traci’s Picks
For Modern Family fans who also like New Girl and miss Don’t Trust The B- : Fresh Off The Boat
Seasons to catch up on: 1
Next season begins: Tuesday, September 22nd on ABC
Why you should be watching: I wrote an entire post for this show right after the pilot aired, and I still stand by everything I said. In summation, it’s funny, every single actor from the kids to the grandma are beyond fantastic, and Asians. Also, the show’s creator, Nahnatchka Khan, also created one of those Cancelled Too Soon shows, Don’t Trust the B- (In Apartment 23). Miss you “James Van Der Beek.”
For Shondaland fans who enjoy legal dramas and have plenty of patience: How To Get Away With Murder
Seasons to catch up on: 1
Next season begins: Thursday, September 24th on ABC
Why you should be watching: Viola Davis is a HBIC in the courtroom and as a professor in the classroom, but in her personal life, she’s got some probs. But also, Viola Davis is a gift to television and to acting.
For Mad Men and True Detective fans who miss Pacey Witter and are okay with watching adultry: The Affair
Seasons to catch up on: 1
Next season begins: Sunday, October 4th on Showtime
Why you should be watching: IDK if you’ve noticed, but all the shows I picked are 15 episodes or less. You can do this, ya’ll. One of the great things about TV in this era is that a lot of accomplished actors aren’t afraid of the “TV stigma” like before (as in TV sucked, movies rule). All four of these leads, Josh Jackson, Maura Tierney, Dominic West and Ruth Wilson are both stars of film and TV, but together, it’s like watching a theatre play with A-list movie stars in the comfort of your own home. The basic conceit of the show should be enough to lure you in – two people in fragile marriages have an affair, and the story is told both in the male and female perspectives. Add a twist of a murder, plus the acting chops and you get a great show. Also, apropos of nothing, Josh Jackson recreating an iconic season one scene from Dawson’s Creek .
Molly’s Picks
For hip-hop fans and pop culture junkies who love a good Biblical drama but think that the ACTUAL Biblical drama airing this year looks a bit much: Empire
Seasons to catch up on: 1
Next season begins: Wednesday, September 23 on Fox
Why you should be watching: I know we’ve drummed this one up in a few other posts, but basically you should be watching because it’s very, very good. The show centers around Lucious Lyon, a music mogul who must hand his “empire” over to one of his sons – straight-laced Andre, rejected gay son Jamal, or rising star Hakeem. Oh, and his wife Cookie was just released from prison after 17 years, which means – you guessed it – 90s flashbacks. Taraji P. Hensen as Cookie Lyon is one of the most compelling characters on television right now. Obviously there are some amazing musical performances too, but they fit into the story organically, it’s not like Glee or anything. Plus there are only 12 episodes for you to watch.
For Breaking Bad fans who also enjoy dark comedy like Six Feet Under and anthology series like American Horror Story or True Detective : Fargo
Seasons to catch up on: 1
Next season begins: Monday, October 12 on FX
Why you should be watching: The Emmy voters were right: this gritty-yet-quirky crime drama is fresh, compelling, and weirdly sort of funny – and also, there are only 10 episodes to watch. Technically you don’t even need to catch up because it’s an anthology, with each series standing alone. All are set in the north country, but season 1 was set in 2006 and season 2 will take place in 1979, and there’s some sort of Ronald Reagan plotline. Season 2 will feature Kirsten Dunst, Ted Danson, Nick Offerman and LanceLandry Jesse Plemons.
For CW types who enjoy fanciful plotlines, telenovelas, and sitcoms that aren’t too sitcom-y or dramas that aren’t too dramatic: Jane The Virgin
Seasons to catch up on: 1
Next season begins:
Why you should be watching: More like, why WE should be watching. I had to include Jane the Virgin because it’s at the top of both of our personal Last-Minute Binge Watch lists. Both of us caught onto how great the show (/Gina Rodriguez) were sometime in the middle of last season, but didn’t want to jump in halfway through season one, so we have been patiently waiting for Netflix to do something. But everyone says that it’s amazing, and we believe them.
It’s been a trend as of late for shows to skip theme songs in favor of the extra 30 seconds to 1:30 minutes of extra episode time. Remember when Grey’s Anatomy had an actual theme song? They gave up on that and now it’s just the white title screen. Elsewhere in Shondaland, Scandal just goes on a 3 second shutter speed sound so we can watch more of Fitz & Olivia argue why they can’t be together then immediately make up (and make out).
Back in the day, theme songs were more of a prominent fixture in TV culture, and as much a part of the show as the scenes in the program itself. TV theme songs were the equivalent of old movies putting all the credits in the beginning of the film so you saw all the cast & crew prior to the start, rather than the end. And while this practice of creating catchy, memorable and good tunes isn’t as much of a priority as it used to be, we still can’t forget the classics, and that’s why we’re throwing it back to our fave TV theme songs over the years.
Traci’s Picks
Friday Night Lights
Friday Night Lights Theme by W.G. Snuffy Walden
In general, Friday Night Lights is an emotional show. It will make you laugh, cry, feel frustrated with Julie Taylor and elated when the Panthers win a game. Like with all Jason Katims-run shows, he incorporates music into the fabric of the storyline, and it never takes you out of the scene when one of composer W.G. Snuffy Walden’s instrumentals start swell during one of these forementioned emotional moments. As any FNL fan can tell you, hearing the first few notes of this theme song will make you feel all the feels, despite it not even having lyrics. But that’s how powerful it is – it doesn’t even need them. Also, it’s worth noting that this is my current ringtone, so it makes me feel the feels of not wanting to pick up phone calls.
Growing Pains
As Long as We’ve Got Each Other by B.J. Thomas & Jennifer Warnes
I watched Growing Pains off and on when I was a kid, and I can kind of tell you the basics of the show. However, one thing I can recite to you from memory is the theme song. It’s a classic 1980s jam that was sung by Raindrops Keep Fallin’ on My Head singer B.J. Thomas and (I’ve Had) The Time Of My Life star Jennifer Warnes. It has the sappy 90s family feel perfect for the show, and perfect for me to play on loop in 2015.
All That
All That by TLC
We talked about this during SNICK Week, but this song still holds up. As soon as you hear, “Fresh out the box…”, it brings you back to sitting on your couch and watching Nickelodeon, ready to laugh at some jokes from the best sketch comedy show for kids to grace the TV. Yeah, it was a great theme song, but in general, it was a track that could’ve been a radio hit, too.
The Nanny
The Nanny Named Fran by Ann Hampton Callaway
Besides the extreme catchiness of this song, the best part about it is the fact that it tells you the premise of the show before every episode. Like just in case you tuned in for the first time and were wondering what a brash lady from Queens was doing in a Manhattan mansion, no need to worry because Ann Hampton Callaway (and fans of The Nanny everywhere) can sing her origin story to you in a flash.
The Mary Tyler Moore Show
Love Is All Around by Sonny Curtis
This song sounds so dated and I just love it that much more. I was one of those kids who watched The Mary Tyler Moore Show at Nick at Nite, and this song is as embedded in my brain as All That and Pretty Little Liars. It’s a song of joy, positivity, and a sets up a strong female character – much like another Unbreakable female on this list.
Honorable Mentions:
Perfect Strangers – Nothing’s Gonna Stop Me Now by David Pomeranz. This song was written by the same guys who wrote the Full House, Step By Step and Family Matters theme song, so no wonder it was so good.
Girl Meets World – Take on the World by Rowan Blanchard and Sabrina Carpenter. Genius move to have the two main girls of the show sing the theme, and a super catchy one at that. And I’ve said it before, and I’ll say it again – if you were a Boy Meets World fan and you’re not watching this show, you are wasting your life.
Molly’s Picks
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt Theme Song by Tina Fey/ Robert Carlock / Jeff Richmond / The Gregory Brothers / Mike Britt
UNBREAKABLE. They alive, dammit! It’s a miracle. This is one of the most creative, innovative theme songs you’ll ever hear, spoofing those wacky neighbors who always give interviews when shocking news breaks — paired with an auto-tuned news segment a la Antoine Dodson. So how’d they do it? (1) Tina Fey and Robert Carlock wrote the neighbor’s monologue. (2) They picked out the lines they want repeated in the song, and Jeff Richmond created the melody. (3) Mike Britt recorded the role of the emphatic neighbor Walter Bankston. (4) They hand it off to the Gregory Brothers, the guys behind Songify The News. (5) Kimmy Schmidt begins streaming on Netflix. (6) It has been over 6 months and you still have the song in your head, don’t you?
Cheers
Where Everybody Knows Your Name by Gary Portnoy and Judy Hart Angelo
Yes, this is mainly a song about people knowing what your name is. Yet it is so iconic that I had never seen an episode of Cheers, but I think I’ve known all of the lyrics since I can remember. It doesn’t sound as synth-ed up or jubilant as the classic 80s theme song. In fact I think something about it is sort of melancholy. It sets the tone for an unpretentious show about a Boston bar where there are no name tags.
Party Of Five
Closer To Free by The BoDeans
If the 60s and 70s were the era of the theme song that told the entire backstory and lasted 8 minutes, and the 80s were the era of the synthesized, schmaltzy pop song that’s just sort of vaguely about love or family, the 90s were the age of the crossover alternative music/ TV theme song radio hit. Think I’ll Be There For You (Friends) or I Don’t Want To Wait (Dawson’s Creek). I started watching Party Of Five when I was probably too young, and it was HUGE for me. The theme song still makes me feel like I’m about to kick back with the Salinger clan (and Jennifer Love Hewitt) (but not Claudia when she’s at boarding school) (and usually not Owen, when you think about it).
Parenthood
Forever Young by Bob Dylan
I’m not crying, you’re crying. Fine, we’re all crying. But if it were the Rod Stewart version, I would not be.
Friends
I’ll Be There For You by The Rembrandts
Is this song even good? I can’t be sure anymore. But it was such a hit that it launched the (largely defunct) TV soundtrack trend of the 90s and early 2000s. Plus just listening to that opening riff reminds me of one of my favorite Comfort TV shows – have a cruddy day? Turn on Friends and you’ll feel a bit better. You could almost say they’ll be there for you (but don’t).
Honorable Mentions
The Courtship Of Eddie’s Father – Best Friend by Harry Nilsson. Yes, that’s Harry Nilsson, of the Lime In The Coconut Nilssons. As Traci mentioned, our cultural touchpoint are colored by how much time both of us spent watching repeats of old shows as children.
Sesame Street – Can You Tell Me How To Get To Sesame Street? by Joe Raposo. It’s good and you know it’s good. And as an adult, sort of brings you back to being 4 years old in a kind of bittersweet way, right?
Fresh Prince of Bel Air – Fresh Prince Of Bel Air by Will Smith and Quincy Jones III. One of the proudest moments of my life was realizing that we were on a train of 100% American college kids in Spain going to a Jack Johnson concert, and leading a singalong to this theme song. It is SO good. Okay, I’ll stop here before I get into The Muppet Show and All In The Family.
This is Back To School Week in the United States, and nobody wants to be the new kid. But this is Back To TV week on Cookies and Sangria, and we are all about celebrating the new faces. These are actors you may not have heard of before, or who haven’t been on network TV much, but we have a feeling you’ll be seeing a lot more of them. Think about it: all of the TV greats, from the cast of Friends to George Clooney to… I guess people who didn’t hit the big time in 1994? … were once “that new guy on that show.” Keep your eye on these newbies – one of them just may be the rookie of the year.
Priyanka Chopra in Quantico
Previous Work: A lot A LOT of movies, making her one of Bollywood’s highest-paid actresses, singer, Former Miss World, Guess model, social media famous.
Why You Should Watch Her: Quantico, a show about a group of young FBI recruits, is Priyanka’s American television debut. She’s a star internationally, like an Angelina Jolie of India, so it’s about time she gets a big break in the U.S.
When You Can Watch Her: Sundays @ 10pm beginning on September 27th on ABC
Ryan Guzman in Heroes Reborn
Previous Work: Pretty Little Liars, Step Up Revolution, Step Up: All In, The Boy Next Door
Why You Should Watch Him: He was JLo’s man candy in The Boy Next Door, Lucy Hale’s karate-kicking paramour in PLL, and now he’s in primetime as the resident hottie when the Heroes come back this month.
When You Can Watch Him: Thursday, September 24th @ 8:00p on NBC
Zoe Lister-Jones in Life in Pieces
Previous Work:Fawn from New Girl; Lily from Whitney; literally all of the Law and Orders.
Why You Should Watch Her:Zoe has seriously made the canceled sitcom rounds, from Whitney to Friends With Better Lives to Bored to Death. That doesn’t mean that she’s unlucky, it just means that she must be immensely castable. The new sitcom roster is pretty slim this year, but Life in Pieces looks potentially funny – a rare multicam CBS pilot that looks like it could be more reminiscent of NBC when it’s good.
When You Can Watch Her:Monday, September 21 @ 8:30 PM on CBS.
Stark Sands in Minority Report
Previous Work: Lead in the original Broadway casts of American Idiot and Kinky Boots, Chasing Liberty, Inside Llewyn Davis,
Why You Should Watch Him: Stark has had a number of random roles on TV, but he’s most famous for being a two-time Tony nominee for his roles in Broadway smash hits. He plays the lead of Dash in Minority Report, which is a movie I’ve never seen, but apparently the TV show is about Stark as a Precog who has the ability to predict crimes. Not sure if I’ll understand the show, but I’ll get Stark’s enormous talent, for sure.
When You Can Watch Him:September 21st @ 9:00pm on FOX
Evan Ross in Wicked City
Previous Work: The Hunger Games – Mockingjay (1 and 2); 90210; CrazySexyCool: The TLC Story
Why You Should Watch Him: If Evan looks a little familiar, he should. Maybe, like us, you enjoy dystopian teen novel adaptations and made-for-tv biopics. Perhaps you follow celebrity weddings and babies: his wife is Ashlee Simpson. Or maybe you just know a celebrity dynasty when you see one: his mother is Diana Ross, and his sister, Tracee Ellis Ross, is currently on Blackish. Anyway, talent and good looks run in the family and it looks like Evan has both. Besides, Wicked City looks pretty promising.
When You Can Watch Him: Tuesday, October 27 at 10:00 pm on ABC.
Donna Lynne Champlin – Crazy Ex-Girlfriend
Previous Work:A whole lot of Broadway (Billy Elliot, Sweeney Todd, etc); a brief appearance in Birdman; several TV guest spots.
Why You Should Watch Her:Donna has some major theater credits, and if you’re wondering if that even translates to television, the answer is yes: Crazy Ex-Girlfriend is a musical comedy. She plays the lead’s coworker and I’m hoping for more than a lot of drama and more than a few solos: Champlin is an Obie and a Drama Desk winner. YouTube her, you’ll be impressed. [An aside: she also hails from our hometown of Rochester, New York.]
When You Can Watch Her: Monday, October 12 at 8:00 PM on the CW.
Denise in The Muppets
Previous Work: Head of marketing at Up Late With Miss Piggy
Why You Should Watch Her: After decades together, who could possibly wrestle Kermit’s affections from Miss Piggy? We NEED to know who this Denise is. Also: The Muppets will be a mockumentary-style comedy that looks like one of the only truly hilarious shows slated for a 2015 premiere.
When You Can Watch Her:Tuesday, September 22 at 8:00 PM on ABC
A few years ago, I went insane with my Fall TV scheduling because there were too many shows I loved that were coming back, and the premiere dates were staggered, and I was getting old so I had to write them all down and not just rely on the old noggin. I’ve stopped doing that over the past year or so, since I found an app (FREE app) called Episoder, which is something I swear by and could not recommend more to fellow TV enthusiasts. Anyways, the point is that when it comes time to plan out the Fall TV schedule, whether it be as a viewer or as an important executive of a big network, you have to plan strategically. The shows in primetime have to be equally engaging, GOOD, and bring in non-sucky numbers from whoever the Nielsen people are.
Some of you are in the beginnings of your Fantasy Football Leagues, and because we’re not much of the Fantasy Football type, we decided to play our own version with Fantasy TV Network Exec. We broke down which shows we would bank on if we ran an imaginary network, and hand-picked the series we think will boost our C+S Network’s ratings and help it become a reputable channel with quality programming (this is clearly the humble beginnings of our plan to start our own corporation and take over the world). Plus this is just a general guide of what you should probably watch in a couple weeks. We obviously took this very seriously.
As a whole, we as a society are still not over superhero shows/movies, so naturally this freshman series is gaining a lot of buzz. Melissa Benoist (the new girl from Glee) plays the titular Supergirl, aka Superman’s cousin. That’s pretty much all we know plot wise, but what’s more important is the list of series regulars & guest stars, which includes but is not limited to: Calista Flockhart, Jeremy Jordan, Laura Benanti, Lexie Grey (Chyler Leigh), Jenna Dewan Tatum, and former Superman Dean Cain.!
Neither of us watch Jane the Virgin, but it’s not from lack of wanting to. We both love love LOVE Gina Rodriguez as a human, so let’s support her show, shall we?
If you’ve seen ads of a naked woman with words all over her body, that is this show. And TBH, some of these choices were based on, “the shows on the other networks suck, so this is the least offensive”. This is the least offensive.
Following the success of mockumentaries like The Office and Parks and Rec, the genre has since become a little too overused, therefore losing its magic. However, when it’s used for a beloved franchise that needs an extremely creative twist to keep dedicated fans and viewers happy and tuned in, the mockumentary style makes perfect sense. This is probably the show I’m most looking forward to this fall, and judging by its trailers, I don’t think we’ll be disappointed. Also, Kermit is Jim Halpert. Count me in.
I was so relieved when Fresh Off The Boat got picked up, and unfortunately somewhat surprised when it did, because I was expecting ABC execs to dismiss yet another primetime show that doesn’t feature all white people *gets off soapbox*. Besides the whole #RepresentationIsImportant aspect of the show, it’s actually a really good program. The writing is fantastic and the acting is A+ (Constance Wu, y’all). Despite the fact it’s about an immigrant family and the first generation of kids in America, it’s a comedy about family at its core, and that’s why it should be appealing for everyone.
This was a process of elimination pick, with a healthy pinch of “it’s Ryan Murphy, it can’t be all bad.” Think the camp of Glee meeting the horror aspects of American Horror Story. It’s not necessarily our “thing” but we will always be here for Lea Michele in headgear. Plus Emma Roberts, Abigail Breslin, and Keke Palmer rounding out the “When Did They Grow Up?” contingent, and Nasim Pedrad bringing the comedy.
Plus it’s also up against yet another superhero show (Agents Of S.H.I.E.L.D.), a third-generation NCIS (New Orleans), and a doctor show (Heartbreaker).
We’ll have to wait a minute for this one – October 27 – because shows are airing willy-nilly this year. You can start off watching Best Time Ever with Neil Patrick Harris on NBC, but don’t get too attached because in November Chicago Fire will take over the slot. Most of the shows this year are so genre – it’s all procedurals, zombies, and superhero reboots – that it’s nice to see something a bit different. Wicked City is a crime show set in 1982 on the Sunset Strip. Erika Christiansen as a 1980s Los Angeles mother who falls into cahoots with a serial killer? We’ll try it.
Not actually sure if this show about a pathologist named Dr. Beaumont Rosewood, Jr. is actually going to be any good, especially since the tagline is, “Life. Death. Miami.” However, Morris Chestnut is in it (references here, here, and here), and I’d watch him do literally anything over the 102nd season of Survivor.
If you think Drip Drop and Boo Boo Kitty are songs from the Wiggles or something, you are seriously missing out. We wrote a more in depth post about why you need to be watching Empire, but even if you aren’t totally sold, there are only 12 episodes. You can watch all of season one and be caught up in a few lazy weekends. Empire is one of those rare runaway success midseason replacements that became a cultural touchstone.
I started watching this show for Connie Britton and now it’s starting its fourth season and I’m still here. It’s like, it’s good, but could be better, but I’m too invested so I’m not going to give up now type of show. So here we are.
How is this show in its 12th season what’s happening? I know the whole McDreamy storyline has been a point of contention with fans, and it’s understandable. However, as both a fan of the show and fan of the construct of TV as a whole, I’m interested in seeing where they’re going to take Meredith’s story after a devastating loss. It’s the first season we’ve seen her without Derek AND Cristina by her side, so how does that change her as a person? Or does it?
Scandal might be the best show on television right now. It is also one of the most popular, with an unusually engaged fan base. It’s on season five, yet I still feel like I have no idea what will happen with Olivia and Fitz, who is truly trustworthy, and how Olivia has never spilled on one of those white coats. Scandal has found a way to bring TV to a must-watch-live EVENT and fans live tweet with the cast in an unprecedented way (props to our fav Kerry Washington for that one). Take that, Video On Demand!
If you were frustrated with the twists and turns and multiple murders on HTGAWM, believe me when I say this show is a breath of fresh air compared to Pretty Little Liars. Surprisingly (or maybe not so much so), the finale of season one solved the mystery we’ve been trying to figure out since the pilot, but then minutes later, we were hit in the face with another murder to leave us on a cliffhanger to go into season two. HTGAWM is also a super strong ending to a night in Shondaland, and you’d be crazy to pick any other lineup than this on a Thursday night.
If you’re into any sort of cooking competition program, you need to watch Masterchef Junior. Especially if you’re not a fan of Gordon Ramsay. The tough, expletive-spouting Brit takes a cooler tone with these home chefs, who range in age from eight to 13. It’s nice to see a softer, more encouraging side to Gordon, who just wants to see these kids succeed. It’s also nice to see a reality show that doesn’t focus on the drama between the contestants – these kids are just there to have fun and cook amazing dishes with food I’ve never even heard of before.
Let’s call a spade a spade. Nothing good, or even “good,” is on TV at 9:00 on a Friday. We’ve fallen very far from the must-watch TGIF lineups of our youth. Shark Tank has a solid audience, big enough to warrant a spinoff this year, so I guess we pick that.
It’s not so much that we are raging Tom Selleck fans – I mean the man can grow a good mustache, but let’s not go crazy. And Mark Wahlberg isn’t even my favorite Wahlberg. The Irish cop cliches will surely be super lame. However. We’re sure that Dateline and 20/20 will split the News Magazine contingent, so this seemed like the best choice. For the record, we’ve both always been 20/20 girls, and in third grade we were even traumatized by the same episode about kids getting sucked onto pool drains.
The Simpsons is my first television memory, sneaking upstairs to watch it with my brothers. It was my first appointment with appointment television, and I didn’t miss an episode from the ages of three until about 18. That said, I’m not sure if I’ve seen a new episode for the past decade. But looking at the competition on Sunday nights, it’s not hard to see why the show continues to do well. A television institution, The Simpsons has been on the air since 1989 and it looks like it isn’t going anywhere.
[Psst – I’m actually into Once Upon a Time, but we wanted to include Brooklyn Nine-Nine at 8:30 so we really needed a half hour show here.]
This show is good. When it won that Golden Globe a lot of people were shocked, but it combines the best elements of workplace comedy, police procedural, and buddy comedy. Plus, I hate that this is still a pleasant surprise in 2015, but it’s about a police precinct where two of the main characters are black men (and one is gay), two are Latinas, and most importantly, everyone is hilarious. Gina was one of the characters we needed back on our TVs after the 2014 hiatus, (and it’s true again), and Andy Samberg is that goofy coworker who is somehow actually amazing at his job. For some reason I feel like a lot of already-good shows really hit their strides in the third season, so I think this year is going to be great.
We don’t watch The Good Wife, which has apparently been on for five seasons (FIVE.). However, we know that a lot of people do. Besides, we’re not going to watch Oil and we are VERY not going to watch Sunday Night Football. There are some shows that we know will technically win the time slot, but we don’t like them so we aren’t choosing them. That’s what we’re doing with football.
It’s this, football, the local news on FOX, or an ABC series about the Bible. I understand that for a lot of people Sunday is the Lord’s day, and for a lot of other people it’s Football Night, but for us, every day is TV day and that programming just doesn’t cut it.
Cookies + Sangria 
