One Last Time: Obama and Celebrities

It’s been an emotional week, and tomorrow’s going to be even rougher. That’s why today we’re taking a break for a bit of fun. We always get a kick out of celebrities meeting a well-liked president, if only because sometimes it’s hard to guess who’s more excited. Getting to meet the president can be a major perk of success in athletics or the entertainment industry, but it’s got to be a blast for the president, too: you signed up to lead a nation, but you also get to meet all of these varied, talented, fascinating people. Whether he’s cracking up with Olympians or welcoming Broadway actors into his home, it’s a real ‘presidents – they’re just like us!’ feeling. Get ready to smile and relive some of the fun times from the past 8 years!

Barack Obama shed his Obama mask on “Saturday Night Live.” Darrell Hammond and Amy Poehler were the Clintons. November, 2007.

Barack Obama shed his Obama mask on “Saturday Night Live.” Darrell Hammond and Amy Poehler were the Clintons. November, 2007.

President Obama, Amy Poehler and Saturday Night Live – talk about three beautiful, cherished American institutions, all in one picture.

Usher and Kerry Washington campaign for President Obama during a rally in South Carolina. January, 2008.

Usher and Kerry Washington campaign for President Obama during a rally in South Carolina. January, 2008.

There were a number of early Obama adapters during his first presidential campaign, namely because he had a lot of buzz as a senator in Illinois. Among them were Usher and pre-Scandal Kerry Washington, who campaigned for him in 2008. These folks ain’t bandwagon supporters.

Barack and Michelle embrace next to Oprah during a campaign rally. December, 2008.

Barack and Michelle embrace next to Oprah during a campaign rally. December, 2008.

Oprah is all of us. Also, remember that shining era when we had Obama in the White House AND Oprah on TV? I swear these are the things we’ll be telling our grandkids about.

Two days before the inauguration in 2009, musicians and actors came together for the We Are One: The Obama Inaugural Celebration at the Lincoln Memorial, performing songs and reciting pieces for the Obamas, Bidens and 400,000 people in attendance. Among those who took the stage were U2 (as seen above), Beyonce, Mary J. Blige, Garth Brooks, and Bruce Springsteen, as well as collabos between James Taylor, John Legend and Jennifer Nettles, Josh Groban, Heather Headley, and the Gay Men’s Chorus of D.C.,Herbie Hancock, will.i.am, and Sheryl Crow, and Usher, Stevie Wonder, and Shakira. Not to mention the other stars like Denzel Washington, Tom Hanks, Tom Hanks, Samuel L. Jackson, Steve Carell, Queen Latifah, Forest Whitaker, and Martin Luther King III and more reading historical passages. You can watch the two hour concert here!

Aretha Franklin sings My Country, 'Tis of Thee at the inauguration. January, 2009.

Aretha Franklin sings My Country, ‘Tis of Thee at the inauguration. January, 2009.

For the actual inauguration, Yo-Yo Ma, Itzhak Perlman, pianist Gabriela Montero and clarinetist Anthony McGill collaborated on a piece by John Williams called Air and Simple Gifts, and although that was lauded, it was Aretha Franklin who really stole the show as she sang My Country, ‘Tis if Thee. Sure, we all know how great of a singer she is but it was the hat – a grey, Swarovski crystal-studded bow hat, that sparked conversation and memes all over the world. Also getting to see the hat IRL at the ceremony were

That night, the Obamas attended 10 official inaugural balls, where even MORE celebrities attended like Jennifer Aniston, Rihanna, Will Smith – legit the list is too long to type out so read all of them here – and Beyonce showed up again in her iconic romantic serenade of At Last.

Miranda Cosgrove, Matthew Morrison, Mariah Carey, Ellen DeGeneres, Maxwell, and Annie Lennox at the WH Christmas special. December, 2010.

Miranda Cosgrove, Matthew Morrison, Mariah Carey, Ellen DeGeneres, Maxwell, and Annie Lennox at the WH Christmas special. December, 2010.

This is just a sample of their annual holiday concert. Just imagine this times 8.

Will Ferrell and his wife, Viveca, laughed with President Obama in the Oval Office. Oct. 2011.

Will Ferrell and his wife, Viveca, laughed with President Obama in the Oval Office. Oct. 2011.

My favorite is that Will Ferrell and his wife – a person who lives with Will Ferrell – appear to be laughing at whatever OBAMA said.

President Obama meets with over 20 actors for a private Young Hollywood event. June, 2012.

President Obama meets with over 20 actors for a private Young Hollywood event. June, 2012.

Usually the President’s activities during a trip are explicit, but there was no mention of this secret meeting at the Beverly Hilton Hotel, where Barack asked 25 of Hollywood’s hottest stars to get involved in his re-election campaign. Among them were Anna Kendrick, Zach Braff, Jeremy Renner, Zachary Quinto, Jessica Alba, Jared Leto, Kal Penn and Sophia Bush. Obviously, these folks put their photos on social media later for all of us to be jealous of.

May 11, 2012

President Obama takes a break during a basketball game in Los Angeles with some A-list teammates and competitors – Don Cheadle, Tobey Maguire, and George Clooney. Plus two of Clooney’s long-time friends and now ex-girlfriend Stacy Keibler. September, 2012.

Find yourself someone who looks at you like George Clooney is looking at POTUS.

November 15, 2012

President Obama poses with Olympic gymnast McKayla Maroney. November, 2012.

I love that Obama fangirled over the 2012 Olympics as much as the rest of us, and also that he’s clearly up on his memes.

Beyonce is greeted by U.S. President Barack Obama after her performance during inauguration ceremonies. January, 2013.

Beyonce is greeted by U.S. President Barack Obama after her performance during inauguration ceremonies. January, 2013.

Obama’s second inauguration was a star-studded event, and by this point Beyonce was an established White House favorite. Really makes me proud to be an American!

President Obama greets Kelly Clarkson after her performance at his second inauguration. January, 2013.

President Obama greets Kelly Clarkson after her performance at his second inauguration. January, 2013.

Like we said, really fun inauguration. In this photo, Kelly Clarkson is looking at Obama exactly how I would, AND Obama is looking at Kelly Clarkson exactly how I would.

Singer Stevie Wonder is honored Monday with the Presidential Medal of Freedom by President Obama, who said the first record he ever bought was by Wonder.

Singer Stevie Wonder is honored Monday with the Presidential Medal of Freedom by President Obama, who said the first record he ever bought was by Wonder.

The Obamas danced to Stevie Wonder at their wedding and all these years later he’s a regular guest in their home, playing POTUS’s birthday party and getting awards from him. If you look closely you can see all of Barack’s dreams coming true.

Justin Timberlake greets President Obama (with Queen Latifah in the background). May, 2013.

Justin Timberlake greets President Obama (with Queen Latifah in the background). May, 2013.

JT posted the above photo on Obama’s birthday and captioned it “Just showing The Prez how I made a half-court shot on his hoop while he was leading the free world and stuff… No big deal. Happy Bday, Mr. President!!”

They have inside jokes, it’s fine.

This is an Emmy-winning video.

The President and the First Lady meet the President and the First Lady. White House Correspondents Dinner. May, 2014.

Mellie/Michelle 2020?

POTUS strikes a pose with Usain Bolt. April, 2015.

POTUS strikes a pose with Usain Bolt. April, 2015.

Can we all just take a moment to appreciate how happy Barry looks? That is pure joy right there.

After Cecily Strong's speech at the White House Correspondents Dinner. April, 2015.

After Cecily Strong’s speech at the White House Correspondents Dinner. April, 2015.

Remember how Cecily Strong absolutely crushed it at the WHCD?! Then, even though he was the butt of some of the jokes, POTUS also acknowledged that she was absolutely hilarious and all of the hits were totally fair. Also, this happened to be the same WHCD where Obama’s Anger Translator Luther (Keegan-Michael Key) showed up.

July 18, 2015 “The President greets the cast and crew of ‘Hamilton’ after seeing the play with his daughters at the Richard Rodgers Theatre in New York City.” (Official White House Photo by Pete Souza)

July 18, 2015 “The President greets the cast and crew of ‘Hamilton’ after seeing the play with his daughters at the Richard Rodgers Theatre in New York City.” (Official White House Photo by Pete Souza)

I like to think that this is how everyone looks at you when you get to heaven.

We consider Hamilton a true musical of the Obama era and we get such a kick out of the mutual love between the cast, creatives and POTUS.

Dec. 7, 2015 “Comedian Jerry Seinfeld knocks on the Oval Office window to begin a segment for his series, ‘Comedians in Cars Getting Coffee.’” (Official White House Photo by Pete Souza)

Jerry Seinfeld knocks on the window of the Oval Office. December, 2015.

I’m not one who particularly *loves* Jerry Seinfeld, but I do enjoy Comedians in Cars Getting Coffee, and this one with President Obama is no different. Well, actually it was. Since the Pres has limited ability to drive around in a vintage car with a guy who makes jokes for a living, they could lit’rally only make a loop in front of the White House and the coffee was in some WH bunker. That’s exaggerating – just watch it.

President Obama joined Jimmy Fallon for a second installment of Slow Jam the News. June, 2016.

Since Jimmy had a talk show, the Obamas have been happy to play along with his bits, including Slow Jam the News, which is another reason why President Obama is the coolest. Slick Willy Clinton could probably get away with doing this but can you imagine Dubya saying “Oh yeah” then dropping the mic?

President Obama serenades daughter Malia with 'Happy Birthday.' July 4, 2016.

President Obama serenades daughter Malia with ‘Happy Birthday.’ July 4, 2016.

The 2004 films Chasing Liberty and First Daughter taught me that it can be hard to be the child of the American president … but if your 18th birthday involves Kendrick Lamar and Janelle Monae singing you Happy Birthday on the White House lawn, it sounds pretty OK.

Sept. 12, 2016 “After a meeting with actor and human rights activist George Clooney, the President invited him and three of his colleagues to shoot hoops on the White House basketball court. This photo garnered a lot of attention when it was hung on the walls of the West Wing.” (Official White House Photo by Pete Souza)

George and Barack back on the basketball court after they met to discuss some human rights policies. September, 2016.

This is also the poster of the 2018 film where Clooney & Obama lead a rag-tag group of international figures in some kind of witty heist.

Oct. 21, 2016 “Bill Murray stopped by the White House to be honored as the recipient of the Mark Twain Prize for American Humor. When the President opened the door to the Oval Office, he laughed that Bill was in full Chicago Cubs regalia just before the Cubs were to begin the World Series. After the presentation, Murray demonstrated his prowess in putting, ‘sinking’ several putts into a White House drinking glass, all while doing a public service announcement to sign up for the Affordable Care Act.” (Official White House Photo by Pete Souza)

Bill Murray shows off his putting skills in the Oval Office while filming a PSA to sign up for the Affordable Care Act. It was also just before he was awarded the Mark Twain Prize for American Humor. October, 2016.

Just two Chicago boys casually putting into glass in the Oval Office.

Nov. 22, 2016 “Bruuuuuce! The President reaches out to shake hands with Bruce Springsteen in the Blue Room of the White House prior to the Presidential Medal of Freedom ceremony. I’m so happy for Bruce, having been a fan of his for almost 30 years during which I’ve seen at least 35 of his concerts.” (Official White House Photo by Pete Souza)

President Obama greets Bruce Springsteen before he received the President Medal of Freed. November, 2016.

I don’t think you know how many Bruce Springsteen pictures we had to choose from. There’s probably a small, dedicated guest room where Bruce stays and they’ll have to forcefully remove him on 1/20.

Rather than a photo, just watch the whole video of Obama awarding Ellen Degeneres the Medal of Freedom. It’s definitely a two-kleenex moment.

That face when the President drops by for a visit. Today, the cast of Hidden Figures visited the White House to highlight the stories of Americans who defied stereotypes and broke glass ceilings to advance human space flight, science, and innovation. December, 2016.

That face when the President drops by for a visit. Today, the cast of Hidden Figures visited the White House to highlight the stories of Americans who defied stereotypes and broke glass ceilings to advance human space flight, science, and innovation. December, 2016.

Octavia Spencer, somehow simultaneously so adorable you could imagine being BFFs with her and so talented that it’s intimidating, is the face of America.

WHEN THE WHITEHOUSE BECAME THE BLACK HOUSE. #THEUNION #ORGANIZE

A post shared by Janelle Monáe (@janellemonae) on

When your favs are each others favs: I’ve heard that Janelle Monae has been invited to/performed at the White House more than any other musical artist. Also just this whole crowd, in general.

Kendrick Lamar meets President Barack Obama in the Oval Office of the White House. January, 2016.

Kendrick Lamar meets President Barack Obama in the Oval Office of the White House. January, 2016.

Do yourself a favor and run a search of Kendrick Lamar and President Obama at the White House. All of the photos are absolutely delightful.

President Obama teaches Steph Curry a few things about shooting. April, 2016.

 

Y’all – do yourself a favor and watch this entire concert of BET Presents Love & Happiness: An Obama Celebration. Partly because BET isn’t going to present a damn thing for the next administration, but mostly because there are star-studded performances from Jill Scott, BFF Janelle Monae, smokeshows Common, Usher and Leslie Odom, Jr. and Bradley Cooper is also there to fill a quota.

Going away party. January, 2017.

What better way to end eight years in a mansion than with your famous friends? The Obamas held one last bash at the White House earlier this month, with a bunch of celebrities who have supported the administration throughout their tenure. Guests weren’t allowed to take pictures inside the party that lasted until 4am, so all the available photos are from the outside, or in performer Solange’s case, during soundcheck. Among those who danced alongside Barry and Michelle were Amal and George Clooney, Robert De Niro, Nick Jonas, Kelly Rowland, Chrissy Teigen and John Legend, Jason Sudeikis and Olivia Wilde, Chance the Rapper, Jay Pharoah, Usher and Billy Eichner. AND MORE.

Finally, cry your eyes out as you watch celebrities thank the Obamas for their years of service.

Times We Assumed Rosie O’Donnell Was Straight

The world was different in 1996, when The Rosie O’Donnell Show began. The famous Ellen DeGeneres coming out episode hadn’t aired yet, Will & Grace was still years away, and Don’t Ask Don’t Tell was only a few years old. As much as the internet loves to act like 2016 is a trash-lined sewer and the ’90s were a hip, inclusive wonderland, things have gotten a lot better in the past two decades. We were different in 1996, too: we were 10 years old. We knew that gay people existed, but in that era we both tended to assume people were straight unless given evidence to the contrary. A LOT of evidence to the contrary. Rosie’s presence as an affable, cool lesbian paved the way for today’s suburban mom fav, Ellen, and her wide-open closet door was probably really inspiring to a lot of kids in the 90s and 2000s… the kids who weren’t too dense to notice all of these clues, anyway.

Exhibit A: Tom Cruise, Lawnboy

The facts:

  • Throughout the course of her show, Rosie talked a lot about her giddy crush on Tom Cruise.
  • She called him “My Tommy.”
  • A specialized soundboard played The Who’s “Tommy Can You Hear Me”
  • The whole thing read less like a legitimate infatuation, and more as a fun running gag
  • To that end, Rosie even TOLD everybody that she had no adult desire for Tom Cruise:

My crush on him has nothing to do with anything that is adult. It’s a prepubescent girl desire to have his picture thumb-tacked to my bedroom wall. It doesn’t have to do with a thirty-five-year-old woman’s adult desire.

  • On Tom’s first appearance, he brought flowers and didn’t respond like someone at the receiving end of a real and genuine crush. Rosie commented “it’s not like I want the marriage to break up. I just want you to, like, live in my house and mow my lawn. That’s all I want. I want you to do yard work around my house.” As a single lady who hates lawn mowing, I feel that.

  • Rosie, referring to Nicole Kidman, lightheartedly commented “isn’t her husband beautiful”

  • The Rosie O’Donnell Show ended with Tom mowing Rosie’s lawn and offering her a lemonade.

Can you blame us?: I mean. As adults of 2016 we realize that having an opposite-sex crush doesn’t make you straight any more than having a favorite Orange Is The New Black inmate makes you gay. However, this one is less about the cultural milieu of the 90s and more about what it was like to be ten years old. If you told somebody you had a crush in fifth grade, it was SERIOUS BUSINESS. It’s more that we couldn’t understand flippant celebrity crushes, which are now the mainstay of our internet presence.

Exhibit B: And They Called It Puppy Love

The facts:

  • Donny Osmond’s poster was on her bedroom wall “for eight years” when she was a tot
  • Rosie was a member of the Donny Osmond Fan Club. Like the kind where you pay a fee and you get a sticker with his face on it.
  • She owned a Donny Osmond doll. Her brothers wanted to play GI Joe, she wanted to play Donny and Marie.

Rosie: Me and my brother Danny would do Donny & Marie in my backyard with wooden spoons. My mother would be screaming…

Donny: Ok, but hopefully, you were Marie.

Rosie: Most times. But ya know, hell, I’ll be you if you let me.

Can you blame us?: Like Tom Cruise, we kind of just expected that because Rosie had googly eyes and a laminated Donny Osmond Fan Club membership card in her wallet, it meant she was keen on the gentlemen type.

I remember one time around this era I was talking to an older male family friend who was at the time probably in high school, and while a group of us were watching TV, Rosie came on the screen and he said, “You know she’s gay, right?” and being a staunch fan and a 12 year old who believed “gay” was an insult, I came to her defense. “No way. She loves Tom Cruise and Donny Osmond! How do you explain that??” But again, that was just a sign of the times. Obviously as a tween in the mid-90s, I couldn’t delineate between celebrity crush to real life romantic feelings crush, so my points sounded valid at the moment.

But this is kind of all a moot point since Ro and Donny got into a brief feud after he suggested she was fat by saying a helicopter “couldn’t take that much weight.” She turned that Donny doll into more of a Donny voodoo doll, and made him apologize by singing Puppy Love in a puppy get up. Don’t all great straight relationships work like this?

Exhibit C: Lebanese-American

The facts:

  • For a period of time in 1996, there was a long lead-up to Ellen DeGeneres’s character, Ellen Morgan, coming out on the sitcom Ellen. I still remember thinking it was cool, but also consistently thinking it had happened already because it had been in the media for so long. That’s how big a deal it was.
  • Before the episode aired, Ellen appeared on Rosie. Later on, Rosie said that she didn’t want Ellen to be completely alone on this new TV frontier, so they came up with the Lebanese bit and “the people that got it, got it.”
  • We didn’t get it.
  • Watch it and let Rosie explain here:

  • “I pick up sometimes that you might be Lebanese”

Can you blame us? This is the kind of joke that would be hard to understand if you were new to the English language. Lebanese and Lesbian sound sort of similar, Ellen’s quip about dropping hints that character was “Lebanese” (baba ganoush, Casey Kasem, etc) is an analogy to Ellen winking at her character’s orientation, but the punchline was implied. And implied punch lines are one of the last things you understand when you learn a new language, right? Except… we were NOT new to the English language when this aired, we were natives like 10 years deep in it. Even as kids, we should have picked up what Rosie was putting down here.

Watch the Brangelina Throne

Our long national nightmare is over Love is Dead! Ok, on the real, how are we all feeling about the Brangelina split a week later? Did we see this coming? Or were we completely blindsided? Are you choosing a team? Do you even care? I’m personally on the side of, *meh*. Is it because Friends is one of my all time TV shows and I spent some of my formative years seeing Brad and Jennifer as the Hollywood ‘IT’ couple then he made a movie with the sexiest woman alive and did an oddly cozy faux family magazine shoot pre-Jen divorce? Perhaps. But I know for a lot of people, Brangelina was one of the last A-list couples still left standing. So who can replace them? If you fall in the latter category, the answer is ‘no one’, but if you’re willing to open your heart and let in another couple to be the next Brangelina, I’ve got a few suggestions.

Chrissy Teigen + John Legend

If you don’t follow these two on social media, do so now. It’s one thing when they take the red carpet (looking smokin’ hot all the time), but it nudges them up a bunch of notches when you see them interact on social media, as seen in the above Twitter exchange. Plus they’ll post cute and not annoying PDA pix and vids, and share posts of their adorable baby daughter Luna. They’re hilarious, smart, and socially active – in the way they speak out about social issues and politics, not necessarily social media. And again, they’re nice to look at, which doesn’t hurt.

Ellen DeGeneres + Portia DeRossi

I feel like every two and a half months, there are rumors these two are breaking up. I never believe the gossip – BECAUSE THESE TWO ARE NEVER SPLITTING UP. NOT ON MY WATCH. Ellen always speaks the loveliest words about Portia in a way that makes me think I, TOO, am in love with Portia. Also, Portia’s wedding dress continues to be one of my favorite celeb dresses ever.

Emily Blunt + John Krasinski

Preface: John Krasinski is my boo. He has been my boo since The Office, and when he started dating Emily Blunt, I was all, ‘yeah, that makes sense’. They seem so compatible with each other and just laid back and not all about the fame. So I guess if you liked Brangelina for the movie star/untouchable quality, Emily and John may not be your cuppa tea. I like that they’re open about their relationship and family, yet secretive in the sense they’re not pushing it into our faces like Kimye is wont to do. Plus they just seem like good people.

Beyonce + Jay Z

In terms of superstar quality and elusiveness, I think Bey and Jay are the closest thing to Brangelina. They don’t share too much of their personal lives online and social media, but B will occasionally post a few sweet snaps of them together. She’s certainly gotten more lax with it over the years (see: Lemonade) but they still have an air of mystery to them that leaves you wanting more. Even the On The Run tour was a lot for me to handle – so much Bey and Jay time I didn’t know what to do with myself. And this Forever Young/Halo video montage FORGET IT.

Kristen Bell + Dax Shepard

If you’re looking for a couple that you most relate to, it’s probs KBell and Dax. They’re just two Michigan kids who found love in Hollywood, but continue to be sweet and strong midwesterners (is Michigan the midwest?). From this Africa video to their Samsung commercials to the famous sloth surprise video, they are one of the most laid back couples in La La Land.

Rita Wilson + Tom Hanks

Do I really need to explain this? Well, Rita may need to explain her wedding dress, but other than that, you get it.

Lin-Manuel Miranda + Vanessa Nadal

If you aren’t #HamilTrash like us, you probably don’t know how much Lin-Manuel (the creator/star/writer/literal genius behind Hamilton) loves his wife. Like truly is in love with his wife in a poetic way. And we might be too. She’s gorgeous, witty (per Twitter) and equally as smart as Lin – she has a chemical engineering degree from MIT, and when she got bored with that, decided to get her law degree from Fordham. When I’m bored, I stalk the Kardashians on Instagram. Anyways, when he gets the chance to gush over Vanessa, Lin jumps at the opportunity. It’s probably because he’s a master of words, but he makes it seem like their relationship is a great love that cannot be compared. I believe it.

Michelle Obama + Barack Obama

Do I really need to explain this? Part two.

Confusion, Boredom, Disgust: Faces Of Adults At The Teen Choice Awards

A lot of things stood between me and the Teen Choice Awards. Mainly adulthood, which meant I was watching full of questions: why was everyone screaming so much? Who were these people? Why are some people wearing shorts and others wearing semi-formalwear? Another problem was my rip-roaring “Sunday night in my late 20s” schedule – how would I fold laundry, take a shower, dust the downstairs, do crunches AND eat half a box of Kashi sea salt crackers while watching this mess?

So I may not have watched the entire show, but I was heartened by the solidarity  I felt with the non-teens in the audience, whose faces betrayed them: their choice was to be anywhere but at these awards.

Josh Peck, a 28-year-old, exhorted the children in the audience to look up from their phones. When Josh Peck and I were teens (shoutout to the 1986 babies!) the only reason you’d be looking down at your phone is if you were in the middle of a particularly long game of Snake.

Scott Earnestwood, an adult man, is perplexed. Our face exactly, Scott.

John Stamos, a famous uncle, gives side-eye to his younger self – something I often do figuratively but never IRL.

Sarah Hyland, who can vote and drink in all 50 states, tripped… then dropped an f-bomb, because she’s an adult and she can.

Ellen DeGeneres and Portia DeRossi, a married couple, celebrated their seven-year anniversary at the Teen Choice Awards … because see, when you’re a full-fledged grown-up you get stuck doing work stuff on your birthday or anniversary a lot of the time.

Britney Spears, a mom, brought her cute kids and niece along because “mom, we don’t HAVE a bedtime on summer vacation” and also because her sons are now closer in age to Baby One More Time-era Britney than Britney is.

Nina Dobrev, former teen/ current 26-year-old, delivered a big “see ya later, suckers!” to the teen vampire genre.

And finally, Gabourey Sidibe, not a girl not yet a woman, decided to just go with it:

Woman Crush Wednesday: Sofia Vergara

It’s Woman Crush Wednesday again, and today it’s all about the muy linda Sofia Vergara, who you might have seen a lot of the past few weeks. She and new BFF Reese Witherspoon are on a mega press tour for their new movie Hot Pursuit (this is not a sponsored ad, btdubs), so the two have been everywhere. Pretty much every talk show has been covered, every premiere, celebrity event and radio show – they even presented at the ACM Awards – that’s the Academy of Country Music Awards. Yes, Sofia was wondering what she was doing there too.

But it wasn’t until recently that I realized just how deep my love ran for Sofia Vergara. The moment came when I caught myself smiling through an entire interview. I started to question my sanity, then figured out it was all because Sofia was saying the most ridiculous, funny things and I couldn’t help but smile. Anyone who brings that much joy into your life deserves to be crushed on, and here are just a few reasons why.

Single Mom Respect

Although she’s currently engaged to one of the hottest men on the planet, Sofia was previously married to her high school sweetheart at the age of 18, had her son Manolo at 19, and divorced her now ex-husband at 21. She had Manolo right when her acting career in Colombia was taking off, and anyone who can handle both life as an actress and a mom – let alone being a mom by herself – is worth commending.

She’s Gone Through Shit

What doesn’t kill you makes you stronger, right? Sofia was just two semesters away from graduating college with a degree in dentistry (that’s right, she could’ve been all up in your mouth), but she was discovered on the beach by a photographer that noticed she was special. Slowly but surely, she got a lot of jobs in her native Colombia, but she broke into the American market through Univision shows and being, you know, hot.

But Sofia moved to Miami not only to try her hand at becoming famous in the States, but also to leave a troubled Colombia behind. In 1998, her older brother Rafael was murdered during a kidnapping attempt, and it’s just one of the many deaths that plagued the country during the 90s.

By 2000, she had scored a few minor roles on U.S. TV, but she was sidelined when she was diagnosed with thyroid cancer at the age of 28. She had her thyroid removed and underwent chemotherapy, and thankfully made a full recovery. She is a big advocate for organizations like Stand Up To Cancer, but you won’t see her playing the ‘I had cancer/Woe is Me’ card any time soon.

She Knows She’s Hot

I find it annoying when hot girls play off their hotness in order to attract more attention to them. Like, ‘Oh, I look horrible in that dress, you can see all my fat!’, said Hollywood actress. No. You’re freaking beautiful, stop it. Sofia has grown up knowing she has assets (lit’rally) that work to her advantage, and she embraces it. Just like you should love your imperfections, you should also love the great parts of your body too. Confidence is believing in yourself – every bit of you.

She’s A Great Comedic Actress

Even if you think Modern Family is played out by now, you have to appreciate that she is still one of the best parts of the show. It’s why she’s received four Emmy Award nominations. Sofia plays a Latin mom, who’s married to an older white man, and integrates into a family as an “outsider”. On paper, it’s funny, and she makes Gloria even funnier. Plus, if you’ve seen any of her movies or even hosting SNL (HUNGER GAMMEESSS) , you know she’s just got natural comedic timing, that’s – dare I say – reminiscent of Lucille Ball. Sofia’s getting a Hollywood Star on the Walk of Fame on Thursday, and while it takes some actors decades to be honored with the coveted prize, it’s taken her just a few years, because honestly, she’s just that good.

She’s Straight Up Comedic

Honestly, if you’ve got time to kill (or don’t), just search Sofia Vergara talk show interviews on YouTube or go to her Modern Family co-stars’ social media accounts. You find her playing hidden camera pranks on Ellen, starring in German makeup commercials with Ellen, sleeping with tissue on her face, and even serenading the Modern Fam crew with a “Christmas Carol” while handing out presents. Just yesterday she appeared on Jimmy Fallon and played Catchprase. You could tell the press tour had worn her out, but it somehow provided an even more entertaining version of the game, because when she gets tired, her English slowly fades away. Bless you Sofia.

 

ICYMI: Tweens N’ Tunes, a Retrospective

When we were kids, the only people making music were teenagers like Britney, Christina, all the boy bands. Save for maybe Billy Gillman, there weren’t toooo many tweens attempting to make it big. And they certainly weren’t as hilarious as these folks…

Hilariously Bad Tween Music Videos

This week, Chinese Food – a hilariously bad tween music video – went viral. Of course, it’s from the producers of Friday by Rebecca Black. Ark Music Factory? More like Ark Dream Factory, am I right?

You can’t blame the tweens and young teens behind these videos – they’re so young, of course they have bad ideas. But can I blame their adult backers? You bet!

Chinese Food – Alison Gold

Or, actually? Maybe more tweens should make music videos. I cannot relate to getting a line in the bathroom, but getting cranky when I’m hungry? It’s like Alison Gold is singing the song of my soul.

Why it’s bad: furries, light racism.

It’s Thanksgiving – Nicole Westbrook

The video and song are awful, but I do love a lady who shares my enthusiasm for Thanksgiving. Friday helps you learn the days of the week, but in Thanksgiving, the months of the year get to shine.

Why it’s bad: boxed stuffing presented without commentary, as though it’s just acceptable and normal.

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If you want more tween music, we also did an in depth analysis of Ellen DeGeneres’ favorite tot, Sophia Grace, who was old enough to make a song called Girls Just Gotta Have Fun.

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Sophia Grace’s Girls Just Gotta Have Fun: An Analysis

Do you know Sophia Grace and Rosie? Here, let me help. Sophia Grace is from Essex, England (think Jersey Shore with arguably cuter accents). She spent enough time with Superbass to learn all of the lyrics, make a Youtube vid, and go viral. Adults, pause for a moment of gratitude that YouTube didn’t exist when we were children, so nobody will see your choreo to “Let’s Talk About Sex.” I’ll wait.

Okay, so Sophia Grace did this thing, and Ellen DeGeneres found out about it. In my mind’s eye, Ellen has an elaborate YouTube screening room in her house solely to look out for the next hilarious vid of a child reacting to something or a kitten trying to do something and failing. That, or she analyzes clips in her studio offices, circling bits with marker like she’s a football coach studying video.

Since the Superbass video broke, Sophia’s been on the Ellen show a bunch of times because I guess in Essex you just don’t have to go to school. She’s interviewed celebs on the red carpet, gone on shopping sprees, and had tea parties with her hero, Nicki Minaj.

Every step of the way, Sophia’s been accompanied by Rosie, who is a little mute girl that she’s related to. With Rosie as her “hype girl” (which is a mute who dances), Sophia Grace has just released her first original single. Of course, there’s a music video, and of course, we’ll be analyzing it. Please, retire to your YouTube screening room, pull out your patented white football coach pens, and follow along.

  • First of all, I got this mixed up with “Girls Just Wanna Have Fun” at first. If you’re expecting a Cyndi Lauper cover, look elsewhere. Cyndi wants to have fun, Sophia Grace must. Unfortunately for girls, this song is a mandate. Don’t want to have fun? Want to spend a quiet afternoon filing your bank statements and scheduling your next dentist appointment? Too bad. If you don’t think that Sophia means business, the song opens with what seems to be a gunshot sound effect. Or, as we used to say when I was a kid in the inner city, “I don’t know, maybe it’s just a car backfiring this time.” Have fun or die, girls!!
  • Holy shit, Sophia Grace is TEN. I assumed she was like 7 or so. Is she really young looking, or am I just out of touch with the youths? Probably the latter. It’s intern season downtown, and it’s all I can do to keep from staring at their dewy skin and asking if they can even remember 9/11. Were they even alive during Full House? The Clinton Administration is probably a mythical dreamworld as far as they’re concerned. I’m finding it really hard not to trace a finger longingly down their wrinkle-free eye corners.
  • Title Cards: I see that Sophia Grace is credited but Rosie is not. Are we just not acknowledging that there’s a dancing mute next to the singer for the whole video, then?
  • We open on a closeup of the rims of Sophia’s pink Power Wheels jeep. I gave such side-eye to the kids who owned those in my childhood. It seemed unnecessarily fancy, like being chauffeured about on a raised cot with four Egyptian man-servants at each corner. Truly an ostentatious and impractical way to get from Point A to Point B. I did, however, have one of those Flintstones-y cozy coupes that you moved by taking baby steps with your feet. A car that actually just moves by walking  — why do I get the feeling that we could market that to “green” adults who enjoy Whole Foods and Real Simple magazine?

    I’m sorry, weren’t you supposed to propel it yourself? Or were my parents just big neglecters?

  • Sophia Grace commands us, if we are listening to the radio right now, to get our tutus on. Fortunately, I am listening on my computer and am exempt. I also never had a tutu. I took Irish dance instead of ballet, so my dancing costumes were less floaty tulle and more heavy woolen frocks. Lucky for all of us, I don’t think this will tickle Clear Channel’s fancy too much. You’re probably not going to have to put that tutu on because this won’t be on the radio, anyway.
  • There is so much autotune as Sophia sings “Girl’s just gotta-gotta Girl’s just gotta have fun” that it sounds like she is singing into an oscillating fan.
  • The roof is up on Sophia’s hot wheels vehicle, and Sophia is busting through it like a teen in a rented prom limo. Note: The car is moving, but Sophia doesn’t seem to be driving. I think her vehicle is propelled by the power of rap. That, or poor Silent Rosie has been stuffed onto the floor to man the gas and breaks.
  • Macklemore’s Thrift Shop is probably the hip-hop tune most relevant to my experience. I don’t drink Cristal and the only Molly I’m high on is… um, myself… but shopping for discount duds? That, I can relate to. Sophia would like to buy some jeans at the mall. Mhm. I get that.
  • Trivia: In England, you have to drive your hotwheels car on the left side of the road.
  • Now I’m really curious as to what side Sophia’s steering wheel is on. Not that she’s driving.
  • Sophia is magically transported to a really nice bedroom, where she displays outfits to Rosie. Rosie expresses her approval or displeasure with exaggerated thumbs up and facial expressions. Will they PLEASE teach the girl sign language? I can’t wait for her to have a breakthrough Helen Keller moment.

    Wa-ter. WATER. WATER!

  • New theory: Rosie is an exceptionally wise child and knows that if she opens her mouth to speak, there will be that much more fodder for embarrassment when she grows up. Maybe she has a Well-Adjusted Former Child Star shaman guiding her. Maybe it is Mara Wilson. Love Mara Wilson.
  • I think the bedroom may be the same set used in Rebecca Black’s Friday. This whole video is loosely (read: SO tightly) modeled after that one.
  • It’s hard to understand the lyrics. Honestly, here: indistinct Essex accents are hard to understand. Rap is hard to understand. Children are hard to understand, because their new-fangled slang is confusing (like, what is twerking? Have I ever done it by accident maybe?). The combination of the three? Little Sophia may as well be rapping the Gettysburg Address or the lunch menu at a hospital cafeteria.
  • Sophia Grace and Rosie end up at some kind of a party filled with small children. Maybe it’s because I know a lot of kids, but this would not be as fun as she’s trying to make it look. In real life, one girl would be tattling that another was looking at her funny. Another would be whining that she had to go to the bathroom, as her mother admonished that she should have gone before they left. A third girl would puke everywhere without warning, because kids suck and never know when they are or are not about to vomit. Trust me. In fifth grade, I puked in Natural Surroundings, a mall store that sold things like sand-filled stuffed frogs and that experiment where you turn two soda bottles into a hurricane. Came out of NOWHERE. The whole store was supposed to look like a tropical rain forest, though, and never has a stomach virus made me feel so ~connected to the earth.
  • A teenaged DJ is wearing an MTV shirt, because MTV actually playing music is a clever retro throwback reference.
  • Sophia threateningly announces that she is dancing with her girls, but “you might getcha turn.”
  • Sophia is suddenly outside, as three children dance behind her. In my day, dance breaks would be synchronized. Remember Britney Spears “Sometimes?” These kids just do whatever-the-heck they want, because they were born in this millenium and have no regard for structure. It’s like some free-range Waldorf School choreography shit here. For all I know, they might have twerked.
  • The kids eat cupcakes at tables. Finally, an image that looks like my childhood. But let’s stop a minute, here. In real life, a few kids would get so sugar-high that they’d misbehave and have to be taken home by their parents. One would be an allergy kid who had to sit at a special table eating a way-less-good dessert that wasn’t manufactured in a plant that processes peanuts. Another would get yelled at by his mom because you KNOW you’re not supposed to have gluten, Brayden! Two sisters would fight because Kyleigh took the last Funfetti cupcake. And easily three kids would spill punch on themselves then cry about it. Ahh, the carefree days of childhood.
  • The “male lead” of the video seems to be a floppy-haired third-grader who doesn’t really do anything. I guess he has the “hot kid” haircut of today. In my day, it was the center-parted mushroom cut. Right, Rider Strong?
  • The backup dancer with the red shirt and the ‘fro has really cute leggings on. Wonder where she got them. As a shorter lady, I do take advantage of children’s department prices sometimes, but I draw the line at going into The Children’s Place or Justice. Justice is a little girls’ clothing store where you can buy clothes to dress your daughter like the heiress to a Lisa Frank fortune. So much neon.
  • Male Lead throws food at Sophia then cowers under the table. Be a real man. Own that food fight.
  • Somehow, Sophia has found my mother’s 1965 Candy Striper pinafore.
  • RAP BREAK GUYS. TL;DR: She’s having a party, we’re all invited (including 26-year-old lawyers who write detailed blogs about children’s rap videos? Asking for a friend).
  • Ok, Now. NOW is when we all have to put our tutus on, radio listeners or not. Sophia doesn’t kid around and I suggest we all obey.
  • Haters are going to “chit chit chatter.” I’m afraid that that would be me. Come at me, Sophia. Or rather, don’t. I’ve watched enough episodes of The Only Way Is Essex to know that’s a bad idea.
  • Rosie silently mouths the words to the rap. I think if you pause some of the frames, she is mouthing “HELP ME.” Any lip readers available?  Like, I think someone may have cut her vocal cords so she couldn’t give up all of Sophia’s dark secrets (Sophia is actually an adult from central Idaho).
  • Sophia smashes a dish of whipped cream into Male Lead’s face. Since when is this vaudeville?

    Can’t go wrong with a classic.

  • More rap lyrics I can relate to: “sippin’ on my milkshake/strawberries and cream”. This reminds me of my favorite Kidz Bop lyric change, in California Gurls. They change “sippin’ on — gin and juice” to “sippin — on my juice” and for some reason, the really deliberate pause in there, along with the mental image of Katy Perry trying to look badass with a juice box, just kills me.
  • Shallow: Sophia Grace and Rosie both have really nice hair. It’s probably time to mention that if  I think anything is ridiculous in this video — well, everything is ridiculous in this video — but it’s because adults who should know better produced it and let these kids leave school to have Nicki Minaj tea parties. Not S.G. and Rosie’s fault.
  • Sophia raises her arms at the end to a loud bang sound effect. Did she just kill us all? Like, a Carrie/Matilda telekinesis thing? Is this because some of you didn’t put your tutus on? Maybe all of this was a dream taking place in Silent Rosie’s head. Dude. Maybe we’re all in Silent Rosie’s head. Like, all of us, right now.

So, that’s a video that happened. It’s obviously not good, but it’s no Friday and probably won’t go viral based solely on how awful it is. However, it will probably stay alive somewhere on the internet long enough for Male Lead’s prom date to see it and mock him. Kids, you can have your Power Wheels and your twerks, grown-ups have the gift of experiencing a childhood of internet anonymity. Advantage: Adults.

Seven Minutes in (Comedy) Heaven

With three (soon to be four) SNL cast members not returning this fall, Lorne and co. is on the hunt for the next big sketch comedians. A few names have been released, but most importantly among them is Mike O’Brien – or as he’s being listed now, Michael Patrick O’Brien. Irish much? Mike/Michael has been a part of SNL since 2009, when he audition to be a player on the show, but was ultimately hired to be a writer. Seems like Lorne is changing his mind and putting Mike in the forefront just like he did Tina Fey. So if you’re not already, let’s get acquainted with this guy.

Don’t know who Mike/Michael is? Maybe if you’ve got a keen eye, you’ve seen him on SNL before:

Screen shot 2013-08-24 at 1.03.29 AM

Or you might know him as the guy who hangs out with celebrities in closets and tries to make out with them in the hilarious web series, 7 Minutes in Heaven. He started in 2011, and it’s slowly become popular over the years. He’s interviewed everyone from Ellen DeGeneres to Patricia Clarkson to a Juggalo from the Insane Clown Posse. Here are just a few to get you pumped up for his (reported) debut as a featured player on SNL this September. And yes, kissing is involved…22famous1-articleLarge

Kristen Wiig

In another life, Kristen Wiig makes soup in California.

Amy Poehler

Honestly, some of Amy’s best hat work she’s ever done.

Jason Sudeikis

Jason was Mike’s office buddy at SNL (bc NBC can’t afford to give EVERY cast member & writer their own office), and it looks like that they proved the unimaginable – they got even closer than ever before.

Ellen DeGeneres

Still can’t believe Ellen agreed to do this.

Jack McBrayer

In another world, Jack McBrayer and Mike O’Brien are brothers. In this world they’re two guys who awkwardly kiss in a closet.

John Hamm

Ron Draper is Dick Whitman’s alter ego.

Seth Meyers

In which Mike quizzes Seth in alllll the movies he’s been in and his lines in the said movies.

Paul Rudd

Rudd’s got a lot of experience in kissing men – especially thanks to the Vogelchucks sketch from SNL.

Tina Fey

I know the queen Tina Fey is in this video and everything, but Mike’s pornstache is wayyy too distracting.

Sophia Grace’s Girls Just Gotta Have Fun: An Analysis

Do you know Sophia Grace and Rosie? Here, let me help. Sophia Grace is from Essex, England (think Jersey Shore with way cuter accents). She spent enough time with Superbass to learn all of the lyrics, make a Youtube vid, and go viral. Adults, pause for a moment of gratitude that YouTube didn’t exist when we were children, so nobody will see your choreo to “Let’s Talk About Sex.” I’ll wait.

Okay, so Sophia Grace did this thing, and Ellen DeGeneres found out about it. In my mind’s eye, Ellen has an elaborate YouTube screening room in her house solely to look out for the next hilarious vid of a child reacting to something or a kitten trying to do something and failing. That, or she analyzes clips in her studio offices, circling bits with marker like she’s a football coach studying video.

Since the Superbass video broke, Sophia’s been on the Ellen show a bunch of times because I guess in Essex you just don’t have to go to school (JK, we know she goes to school). She’s interviewed celebs on the red carpet, gone on shopping sprees, and had tea parties with her hero, Nicki Minaj.

Every step of the way, Sophia’s been accompanied by Rosie, her cute quiet cousin. With Rosie as her “hype girl” (which is a cousin who dances), Sophia Grace has just released her first original single. Of course, there’s a music video, and of course, we’ll be analyzing it. Please, retire to your YouTube screening room, pull out your patented white football coach pens, and follow along.

In case you’re new here, we’re laughing WITH the silly video more than at it, this is OTT on purpose, and we’re not serious about any of it, ok?

  • First of all, I got this mixed up with “Girls Just Wanna Have Fun” at first. If you’re expecting a Cyndi Lauper cover, look elsewhere. Cyndi wants to have fun, Sophia Grace must. This song is a mandate. Don’t want to have fun? Want to spend a quiet afternoon filing your bank statements and scheduling your next dentist appointment? Too bad. If you don’t think that Sophia means business, the song opens with what seems to be a gunshot sound effect. Or, as we used to say when I was a kid in the inner city, “I don’t know, maybe it’s just a car backfiring this time.”
  • Holy shit, Sophia Grace is TEN. I assumed she was like 7 or so. Is she really young looking, or am I just out of touch with the youths? Probably the latter. It’s intern season downtown, and it’s all I can do to keep from staring at their dewy skin and asking if they can even remember 9/11. Were they even alive during Full House? The Clinton Administration is probably a mythical dreamworld as far as they’re concerned. I’m finding it really hard not to trace a finger longingly down their wrinkle-free eye corners.
  • Title Cards: I see that Sophia Grace is credited but Rosie is not. Thought they were a double bill, but OK.
  • We open on a closeup of the rims of Sophia’s pink Power Wheels jeep. HA! I gave such side-eye to the kids who owned those in my childhood. I always catagorized them as a rich kid thing, along with Lunchables and those refrigerators that had water dispensers in the door. I did, however, have one of those Flintstones-y cozy coupes that you moved by taking baby steps with your feet.

    I’m sorry, weren’t you supposed to propel it yourself? Or were my parents just big neglecters?

  • Sophia Grace commands us, if we are listening to the radio right now, to get our tutus on. Fortunately, I am listening on my computer and am exempt. I also never had a tutu. I took Irish dance instead of ballet, so my dancing costumes were less floaty tulle and more heavy woolen frocks.
  • There is so much autotune as Sophia sings “Girl’s just gotta-gotta Girl’s just gotta have fun” that it sounds like she is singing into an oscillating fan. She has a cute real voice, too!
  • The roof is up on Sophia’s hot wheels vehicle, and Sophia is busting through it like a teen in a rented prom limo. Note: The car is moving, but Sophia isn’t driving. It is propelled by the power of rap. That, or poor Rosie is manning the gas and breaks.
  • Macklemore’s Thrift Shop is probably the hip-hop tune most relevant to my experience, even though I prefer to listen to the harder stuff. I don’t drink Cristal and the only Molly I’m high on is… um, myself… but shopping for discount duds? That, I can relate to. Sophia would like to buy some jeans at the mall. Mhm. I get that, Sophia.
  • Trivia: In England, you have to drive your hotwheels car on the left side of the road.
  • Now I’m really curious as to what side Sophia’s steering wheel is on. Not that she’s driving.
  • Sophia is transported to a really nice bedroom, where she displays outfits to Rosie. Rosie expresses her approval or displeasure with exaggerated thumbs up and facial expressions. Do they let her talk ever?
  • New theory: Rosie is a wise child and knows that if she opens her mouth to speak, there will be that much more fodder for embarrassment when she grows up. Maybe she has a Well-Adjusted Former Child Star shaman guiding her.
  • I think the bedroom may be the same set used in Rebecca Black’s Friday.
  • It’s hard to understand the lyrics. Honestl: Essex accents are hard to understand. Rap is hard to understand. Children are hard to understand, because their new-fangled slang is confusing (what is twerking? Have I ever done it by accident maybe?). The combination of the three? Little Sophia may as well be rapping the Gettysburg Address or the lunch menu at a hospital cafeteria.
  • Sophia Grace and Rosie end up at some kind of a party filled with small children. Maybe it’s because I know a lot of kids, but this would not be as fun as she’s trying to make it look. In real life, one girl would be tattling that another was looking at her funny. Another would be whining that she had to go to the bathroom, as her mother admonished that she should have gone before they left. A third girl would puke everywhere without warning, because kids  never know when they are or are not about to vomit. Trust me. In fifth grade, I puked in Natural Surroundings, a mall store that sold things like sand-filled stuffed frogs and that experiment where you turn two soda bottles into a hurricane. Came out of NOWHERE. The whole store was supposed to look like a tropical rain forest, though, and never has a stomach virus made me feel so ~connected to the earth.
  • A teenaged DJ is wearing an MTV shirt, because MTV playing music is a retro throwback reference now.
  • Sophia threateningly announces that she is dancing with her girls, but “you might getcha turn.”
  • Sophia is suddenly outside, as three children dance behind her. In my day, dance breaks would be synchronized. Remember Britney Spears “Sometimes?” These kids just do whatever-the-heck they want, because they were born in this millennium and have no regard for structure. It’s like some free-range Waldorf School choreography shit here. For all I know, they might have twerked. (Youths: don’t worry. We know what twerking is. We’re JK this whole time)
  • The kids eat cupcakes at tables. Finally, an image that looks like my childhood. But let’s stop a minute, here. Reality check: a few kids would get so sugar-high that they’d misbehave and have to be taken home by their parents. One would have allergies and have to sit at a special table eating a way-less-good dessert that wasn’t manufactured in a plant that processes peanuts. Another would get yelled at by his mom because you KNOW you’re not supposed to have gluten, Brayden! Two sisters would fight because Kyleigh took the last Funfetti cupcake. And easily three kids would spill punch on themselves then cry about it. Ahh, the carefree days of childhood. Anyway, looks cute and fun here!
  • The “male lead” of the video is a floppy-haired third-grader who doesn’t really do anything. His haircut is the modern equivalent of the 1990s Cute Boy Haircut – that center-parted mushroom cut Rider Strong had.
  • The backup dancer with the red shirt and  has really cute leggings on. Note: I’ve found that non-garish girl’s clothes get harder to find once kids have decided they want to shop at Justice,  a little girls’ clothing store where you can buy clothes to dress your daughter like the heiress to a Lisa Frank fortune. So much neon.
  • Male Lead throws food at Sophia then cowers under the table. Be a real man. Own that food fight.
  • Somehow, Sophia has found my mother’s 1965 Candy Striper pinafore. Adorbs.
  • RAP BREAK GUYS. TL;DR: She’s having a party, we’re all invited!
  • Ok, Now. NOW is when we all have to put our tutus on, radio listeners or not. Sophia doesn’t kid around and I suggest we all obey.
  • Haters are going to “chit chit chatter.” I’m afraid that that would be me. Come at me, Sophia. Or rather, don’t. I’ve watched enough episodes of The Only Way Is Essex to know that’s a bad idea.
  • Sophia smashes a dish of whipped cream into Male Lead’s face. Since when is this vaudeville?

    Can’t go wrong with a classic.

  • More rap lyrics I can relate to: “sippin’ on my milkshake/strawberries and cream”. This reminds me of my favorite Kidz Bop lyric change, in California Gurls. They change “sippin’ on — gin and juice” to “sippin — on my juice” and for some reason, the really deliberate pause in there, along with the mental image of Katy Perry trying to look badass with a juice box, just kills me.
  • Shallow: Sophia Grace and Rosie both have really nice hair. It’s probably time to mention that if  I think anything is ridiculous in this video — well, everything is ridiculous in this video — but it’s because adults who should know better produced it. Not S.G. and Rosie’s fault. They’re cute & talented.
  • Sophia raises her arms at the end to a loud bang sound effect. Did she just kill us all? Like, a Carrie/Matilda telekinesis thing? Is this because some of you didn’t put your tutus on? Maybe all of this was a dream taking place in Silent Rosie’s head.

So, that’s a video that happened. It’s obviously not good, but it’s no Friday and probably won’t go viral based solely on how awful it is. However, it will probably stay alive somewhere on the internet long enough for Male Lead’s prom date to see it and mock him. Kids, you can have your Power Wheels and your twerks, grown-ups have the gift of experiencing a childhood of internet anonymity. Advantage: Adults.

Whatareyoudoinghere: Unexpected Guest Stars of Six Feet Under

Welcome back to another installment of Whatareyoudoinghere! Today we will explore the wonderful/dreary world of Six Feet Under. I patiently waited for this series to come on Netflix instant, and since it still wasn’t available by the time summer came around last year (when I do most of my TV marathoning), I illegally streamed it online (judge all you want). Over all, I’d say it was worth all the hype and awards it received, especially since it had one of – if not the best – series finales I’ve ever seen. Anyways, here’s a list of some of the people I didn’t expect to see when I watched SFU for the first time.

Rainn Wilson

Just before he was Dwight K. Schrute, Rainn played a loner type mortician’s apprentice for the funeral home, and had a thing with Frances Conroy’s character. He actually had a lengthy story line, and ended up in 13 episodes. Still a weirdo.

Jenna Fischer

Speaking of The Office, Jenna Fischer had a two episode arc in season 5, when she went out with Rico, the family funeral home’s mortician. Rico didn’t get the hint that she wasn’t that into him… maybe he shouldn’t have invited her to his best friend’s wedding after one date.

Adam Scott

I realize the image above might be jarring if this is your first time learning about Adam’s appearance on SFU. It was to me when I first saw it and I still can’t get over it. Adam clearly played a love interest for Michael C. Hall. Yeah, Dexter and Ben Wyatt mackin’ it. And jury’s still out if I find this hot or not… (UPDATE: I watched their scenes again, and the verdict is I am uncomfy.)

Bobby Cannavale

Per usual, Bobby played a tough guy who Keith meets while they’re body guards for pop star Celeste (who is featured below). I loved the interaction Keith had with Bobby’s Javier, especially because it’s a good reminder that Keith isn’t your “typical” gay man, and Javier, a typical Alpha male, doesn’t care that he’s gay at all.

Michelle Trachtenberg

Spoiler alert: Harriet the Spy grows up to be a pop star! Here is Celeste, the stereotypical rich, bitchy, superstar. She believes she can get anything she wants… even sex with a gay man. Oops.

Justin Theroux

Contrary what you may think from this picture, Mr. Jennifer Aniston was not a band geek living in central Mississippi. He plays Brenda’s (Rachel Griffiths) charming neighbor, but his presence poses a problem for both of them since she’s a recovering sex addict… so I mean… good luck Brenda.

Ellen DeGeneres

Screen shot 2013-03-22 at 4.18.30 PM

Saved the best for last! Celeste has an appearance on Ellen’s show, and Keith gets into a bit of trouble for using her bathroom while Celeste is taping. But in his defense, he did do his job when Ellen tried to go into Celeste’s dressing room after she said no visitors allowed.