You Know You’re Irish-American When…

Posted in Miscellany by Molly

Although I’d argue that I’m just plain American (even if I have ancestors who were from somewhere else), this time of year I can’t help but notice that there are a few things that set apart Americans from Irish backgrounds. Irish-Americans are also different from Irish people, and if you’re reading this from Ireland most of these items won’t sound familiar to you. Yes, Irish-Americans are their own weird little subculture. Are you a part of it?

You know you’re Irish-American when…

As soon as you were old enough to count to three, you were old enough to count to “one two three, two two three, three two three.”

Not only have you been to a feis and a ceilidh, you can spell and pronounce both.
You have siblings or cousins with the following names: Molly, Megan, Caitlin, Shannon, Erin, Katie, Kelly, Sean, Ryan, Brian, Kevin, Patrick. Nope, those aren’t all Irish names. Doesn’t matter.
The men in your family – above a certain age – all wear those flat tweed caps.
As a kid, one of my non-Irish-American friends remarked that my dad always wears a beret.
You have at least one acquaintance with the same first and last name as another famous Irish-American. For instance, my cousin shares a name with Shannen Doherty (but spelled differently), and my Irish dance teacher was Eddie Murphy (… he’s Irish, right?).
Your grandmother (even if she was a Republican) idolized JFK until the day she died.
To this day, your aunts use “he looks like JFK” as the ULTIMATE compliment.
I think I almost got blacklisted from the family when I said he “just looks like a regular guy.” Now JFK Jr., on the other hand…
You have attended a funeral where nobody was named Danny. Danny Boy was sung anyway.

You, or someone in your family, would argue to the grave that Danny Boy and When Irish Eyes Are Smiling are NOT real Irish songs.
By the time you were 6, you owned a piece of claddagh jewelry, knew the whole story behind it, and could identify what the different parts symbolized.
You cringe when non-Irish friends say that they bought a claddagh for themselves. The horror!
Someone in your family is still really pissed at the English. Like, more than you expect contemporary people in Ireland to be.
And they’re probably really jazzed about the centennial of the Easter Uprising, too.
You own at least one of those itchy sweaters, probably more, purchased every time somebody in your family goes to Ireland.
Accurate, except where are the rest of the kids?
You have had to set friends straight on the proper way to make tea. You have all but given up on ordering tea out. Thanks for the lukewarm water that I’m supposed to, um … dunk?… a tea bag in, though?

St. Saoirse Of Irish-America.

Christmas shopping is easy because you have one relative who collects Belleek, Connemara Marble, or Waterford Crystal.
#IrishAmericanGrandmasBeLike
As a child, you believed in – and were terrified of – leprechauns, fairies or banshees.
Scarred for life.
You know EXACTLY what I’ll tell me ma.
You had your first drink at the AOH (that’s Ancient Order of Hibernians to outsiders).
All of your uncles have retained their childhood nicknames within the family: Danny, Tommy, Jimmy, Mickey, etc.
Even if you aren’t super into St. Patrick’s Day, people assume you are and practically congratulate you when the holiday rolls around.
You have at least one family ginger.
… or a few.
You also have family lore about Black Irish (read: why your one brother has black hair).
There was a shillelagh and a St. Brigid’s Cross hanging in your house growing up.
Bowl of fire entirely optional.
If you have the stereotypical Irish phenotype – freckles, light skin, light eyes, red hair – strangers ALWAYS tell you you must be “very Irish.” Which is weird because isn’t “very Irish” like… from Ireland? And everything else is not very Irish?

Literally me.

You were the family with the big bottle of sensitive skin-formula SPF 50. In the Northeast. In March.
There are four or more children in your family. You have described it as a “small family.”
Listing all of your nieces and nephews’ names in order, properly, in one breath, is practically a party trick.
You grit your teeth when someone says St. Patty’s Day. Or Corn Beef.
Family parties: light on the food, heavy on the booze.
You, or someone in your family, has a first or last name that other Americans cannot spell or pronounce.
You have corned beef and cabbage around St. Patrick’s Day, but that isn’t the only time of the year that you eat boiled meat.
If you didn’t go to Catholic school, you went to CCD. Meaning you were one of those kids who used to get into our desks every Sunday.
And I’m not saying Irish-Americans can hold a grudge, but that was TWENTY YEARS AGO.
Irish Catholic guilt trips are real.
So is the Irish Goodbye. Every gathering wraps up with a round of “wait, when did Aunt Whoever leave?”

15Mar2016

Success or Fail? A 30 Before 30 Update

Posted in GSOY (Gratuitous Story of Yourself), Miscellany by Traci

Hi team. Last year, I wrote about making a 30 Before 30 bucket list, which was comprised of a whole bunch of goals, activities, etc. I wanted to do before I turned 30. Well, I turned 30 in January, and I’m proud to report I checked off 22 out of 30 items on my list! Not too bad, and to be honest, I’m not even upset I didn’t finish them all. By even making the list in the first place, it forced me to do things I don’t think I would have otherwise, so getting any of them done is an accomplishment in itself.

In my post from last year, I highlighted some of the tasks on the 30 Before 30 list, so I’m revisiting them and seeing how I did. Obviously, I don’t have all 30 of them listed, but just imagine they’re all here.

Learn to make 3 new dishes

2015: When I cook dinner, it’s not really anything special. The less ingredients the better. I blame this on account of my frugality and laziness, but I’m hoping to change that (the laziness, at least I can control). I figure if I master at least 3 good dishes, it can be my go to for parties and what not. Sushi is probs my favorite food, so another one of the things on my list is learn how to make sushi. And conveniently, I would also like to have a dinner party, so all this just fits right together.

Status: Accomplished! While sushi making was fun and I didn’t die from eating the raw fish, I think I’ll leave it to the professional sushi chefs to provide me with much better rolls.

sushi!

avocado stuffed caprese salad

ricotta lemon pancakes and omlette bites

Go somewhere I’ve never gone before

2015: If I won the lottery today, I would use it to pay off all my debts, do some other things with it, and then travel. Anywhere my heart desires – possibly even in first class! Living in LA, you kind of get stuck in the… LA-ness of it, and it’s good for your sanity to get out every once in a while. I usually spend my vacation time in the same places, mainly back home on the east coast. But there are so many other places to go that won’t break the bank. Although I said I would start this thing on my birthday, I’ve cheated on a few things already, this being one of them. A few of my friends and I recently went up to Napa Valley for a brief, yet completely successful and fulfilling weekend, and it was glorious. It was my first time in that area, and let me tell you – Napa is everything it’s cracked up to be, folks.

Status: Accomplished! I went to multiple new places in 2015, including the Temecula wine country and Grand Cayman Island and Castaway Cay (thanks to a cruise I went on). However, I tripled up on a trip by driving down to La Jolla, about two hours south of LA. The city is right on the edge of the Pacific and is exactly what you picture when you think picturesque California coast. Also, they’re known for seals, as seen below. They had cute stores and great food and highly recommend – 10/10.

Travel somewhere by myself

2015: Speaking of which, I feel all Eat Pray Love/Wild about this, in that going on a trip by yourself is necessary in life. I’m an only child and independent by nature, so the thought of this doesn’t sound scary or intimidating, as I imagine it would be to some people. This sounds delightful to me and I have yet to figure out where said trip will be.

Status: Accomplished! Like I said, I tripled up on La Jolla by going solo bolo to a pimp ass resort called Estancia La Jolla Hotel & Spa. I got free champagne when I arrived, had a huge bed to myself, a bathroom with marble floors and a complimentary bottle of wine. Again, highly recommend – 10/10.

Get a massage

2015: I’m gonna be real with y’all – I don’t necessarily find it appealing when complete strangers touch me, especially if I’m half naked. Is that completely unreasonable? But I’m going to try to let that go in favor of comfort and relaxation.

Status: Accomplished. And my gut was right. The final triple threat of that La Jolla trip was getting a massage at the resort. While it was luxurious and I got free cucumber water, I don’t think I would ever do it again. I didn’t feel as relaxed as I thought it was going to be, and that’s all my fault, not the fault of my masseuse, who was lovely. I didn’t take a pic of that, so here’s the view I had while sitting near the saltwater whirlpool and reading a Dawson’s Creek novel at the spa.

Volunteer 20 hours

2015: I used to volunteer a lot growing up. Forgetting the fact that in high school a lot of it was required, I actually enjoyed volunteering, and did it throughout college. For a while there I even wanted to work for a non-profit. I really want to get back into it, and I’ve had some attempts in the past couple of years, but I’m actually making a goal of 20 hours to fill, which is really not even that much.

Status: Big Fail. This was one of the items I was most bummed about not accomplishing. I wanted to find one organization that I cared deeply about, then exclusively volunteer for them, but I just kept putting it off. It’s still on my list!

Go see at least 5 movies in the theater

2015: I am a TV person. I watch all the TV. And like I mentioned earlier, I am a frugal person. Unless it’s a movie I really want to see in the theater, I will wait until it comes to Netflix and I receive it as part of my subscription. However, working in entertainment news, it’s usually helpful to know what I’m writing about, and not just basic facts about them. I’m not gonna lie to you – I already have my first movie lined up. And it’s the Backstreet Boys documentary, which comes out on Friday.

Status: Accomplished! I ended up seeing MORE than 5 movies!!! Ironically the BSB movie I ended up buying on iTunes it was released in the theater, so I cried in the privacy of my own bedroom. The other films include but are not limited to: The Last Five Years, Spy, Inside Out, Magic Mike XXL and Trainwreck. All movies that were A+++

Watch 5 “classic” movies

2015: To go along with that, I’ve written about my Pop Culture Blind Spots before, and I’m going to make an effort to actually sit down and watch some of them. We’ll start with the black and white classics… Star Wars will have to wait.

Status: Accomplished! Again, I was an overachiever on this one and did way more than five, some which which I did as a Pop Culture Blind Spot for this very blog (Star Wars or Dirty Dancing, anyone?). Some other faves include Bridget Jones’ Diary, Top Gun and Back to the Future.

Donate clothes I haven’t worn in a year

2015: I have been meaning to do this for years, and now’s a better time than any to actually follow through. Part of this involves re-organizing my closet, which I’ve already done and am super excited about. But this whole – I’m saving this just in case I need it for a Halloween costume – thing, isn’t working.

Status: Accomplished! And I’ve donated twice!

Read 3 new books

2015: Again, I am a TV person. I watch all the TV. Thus leaving me with little time to sit and read. Hell, I barely have time to catch up on my Entertainment Weekly issues. As for reading actual books, I find that I read the most when I’m traveling, since there’s nothing else to do. I used to read all the time when I rode the subway in Boston, but now, I have to like pay attention to the road when I’m driving and stuff. Also, I have a tendency to just re-read books – I don’t need to read Harry Potter again (I mean I could and should, but I shan’t). But I’ve set a realistic goal for myself and hopefully I can finish three new books by 2016.

Status: Accomplished! Luckily, I know myself well enough that a total of three was risky, but I read FOUR! Not That Kind of Girl by Lena Dunham, Dawson’s Creek: A Capeside Christmas (that novel I was reading in La Jolla) and two books by fellow Emerson alum and one of my friend’s BFFs, Katie Cotugno, whose two YA books, How to Love and 99 Days, I devoured.

Go to 10 new restaurants

2015: Like my go-to books, I have go to restaurants, and it’s time to change that. I’ve been compiling a list of eateries in LA that I’ve been wanting to go to, and 10 seems like a reasonable number. I will just have to force my friends into going to all new venues.

Status: Accomplished! After I hit 15 I stopped counting, but one that is an LA staple that everyone needs to go to is Roscoe’s Chicken and Waffles. Ugh I dream about it still.

Explore 5 new places in LA

2015: LA’s a big city, and while I’ve lived here for just over five years now, there’s still plenty more to see. You get stuck living in the bubble of your home neighborhood and work neighborhood, and any little pockets that your frequent. I never make it down to the West side or like Venice (as seen above) or Santa Monica or anything over there, mainly because there’s no reason for me to. Sans Dunkin Donuts, of course. But it’s time I start taking advantage of what’s around me.

Status: Accomplished! I’m not a big sports fan but it was still exciting to go to my first Dodgers game with a real Dodgers fan who could explain pretty much everything to me. Plus I got a Dodger (hot) Dog which was as good as everyone says it is.

Clean out email

2015: I’m at 19% of 15 GB used on my Gmail, which I’ve had since 2006. That number may seem low, but you should see my inbox (don’t). It’s time I start cleaning shit out.

Status: Accomplished! Plus I have all the tabs now and the Gmail app on my phone, which I didn’t have before. God bless.

Pay for someone’s coffee 5 times

2015: Pay it forward. Be kind to one another. All that jazz.

Status: Fail to humans everywhere and to Ellen DeGeneres. Let’s be real, if anyone’s buying coffee, it’s for myself.

Take a photo or video each day

2015: This is not a new thing. I’m going to see if I can keep it up. Instead of posting it every day, I’ll hopefully keep it up and compile everything into a handy video/slideshow on my 30th.

Status: Accomplished! And I just finished putting it all together in one 13 minute long video! You’ve been warned.

11Mar2016

Michelle + Sophie = FLomance Goals

Posted in Miscellany by Traci

The Canadians have taken over the White House and boy are Americans happy about it. Yesterday, the (fairly) newly elected Canadian Prime Minister Justin Trudeau and his wife Sophie Grégoire Trudeau arrived in Washington, D.C., marking the first official visit by a Canadian leader to the U.S. in nearly two decades. If you don’t know anything about Justin Trudeau and “Trudeaumania”, I wrote about him a while back, so get acquainted. You’ll need to as he continues his world domination. Canada and the U.S. have always had a friendly alliance, and that was clearly on display when PM Trudeau and President Obama got together on Thursday. The Internet immediately noticed the budding #bromance between JT and Barry, and soon people were pitching buddy cop comedies and podcasts of them bantering back and forth about which country is better (that was me. I did that).

I just wish someone would look at me the way Trudeau looks at Obama… pic.twitter.com/R4VqgDrmb9

— Robyn Urback (@RobynUrback) March 10, 2016

And while I admit I’d love to see these two become besties and take over the world together, I’d be remiss to glaze over the other romance that’s happening in the Beltway right now – the glory that is power couple Michelle and Sophie. Mophie? Sochelle? Sochelle. Either way – #FLomanceGoals (First Lady).

Sophie Grégoire Trudeau & @MichelleObama arrive at @USIP. #LetGirlsLearn #PMDC pic.twitter.com/Sgd5ms8YO9

— Connect2Canada (@connect2canada) March 10, 2016

While the boys were busy talking climate change and international trade and other world leader topics, the women got together at an event for Let Girls Learn, an initiative which promotes girls education. Before speaking to a select group of young ladies from across the country, Michelle said this of her new BFF Sophie:

“(Sophie) is like, my soul mate right now. We’re already gotten into trouble. We’re gonna be in a lot of trouble before this visit is over. In addition to being beautiful and funny, she’s got a great sense of humor – she was cracking me up back there.” {x}

They met hours before, you guys. But it’s easy to see why Mich fell in love so quickly. Backing it up a bit, most of us already know Michelle’s background. But here’s a quick primer on Sophie:

She became a national figure as a TV reporter on Canadian entertainment news show, eTalk.
Sophie and Justin grew up together in Montreal, since she was friends with his young brother Michel. Years later, they reconnected when they co-hosted a charity event, and started dating a few months later. They married in 2005 and they have three adorable kinder.
Sophie’s platform has always been related to women and young girls’ issues, working with various charities throughout Canada.
Sophie is fluent in French, English, and Spanish.
She is a certified yoga instructor

So now that she’s your favorite person, just imagine being in a room with her AND Michelle. Any time two intelligent, empowering, beautiful, witty ladies get together, I’m into it. But if it’s Michelle and Sophie – I am FOMO jealous to the MAX. Just LOOK at them:

They laugh and have fun!

they dance!

and sophie legit saved michelle from almost falling off the stage. TRUST FALLS.

and when they hug it’s not a fake political hug it is from the bottom of their souls

they empower and encourage girls together!

dorky mom moves are encouraged and applauded!

when your bestie knows you look fine af

michelle doesn’t even want to let go!

the ladies that slay together, stay together.

So, in short, what are the chances we can get the Trudeaus to move to America? Or better yet, have a Trudeau/Obama ticket for… 2016? Too late? Not possible in the slightest? Ok. Well I’ll settle for a seat at their dinner parties then. Goals AF.

10Mar2016

How To Properly Display Mr. Darcy’s Wet Shirt

Posted in Entertainment, Outfit Girl by Molly

In our high school, on the wall of a corridor, there was a tiny cutout within an elaborate gold frame. It was lined with red velvet, and in it nestled a little white speck, like something you’d take out of your teeth if you didn’t brush them after eating oatmeal. It was supposed to be a relic of St. Thomas Aquinas – a tiny chip of his bone.

There are two real take-aways there. The first: Catholics are quirky. The second: when an otherwise inconsequential object is associated with somebody important, it starts to take on some of their qualities.

It’s why I wash my great-grandmother’s china by hand and would be upset if I dropped a piece, but don’t lose any sleep if I fumble a plate from Target. (Get me a rom-com to star in, because I’m an otherwise put-together career woman who drops things a lot.) It’s the reason we hold on to hand-knit scarves through dozens of clothing purges, even if we don’t wear them. It’s basically the whole reason auction houses exist.

Which brings us, in a way, to Jane Austen. This summer, an exhibition at the Folger Shakespeare Library in Washington, D.C. – Will & Jane: Shakespeare, Austen and the Cult of Celebrity – will be displaying Mr. Darcy’s wet shirt.

If the phrase “Mr. Darcy’s wet shirt” doesn’t mean anything to you, have a nice day and we’ll see you tomorrow with a post that’s more relevant to your interests.

If your eyes lit up with recognition, it’s because you’re familiar with the 1995 adaptation of Pride and Prejudice, with Colin Firth as dashing, condescending Mr. Darcy.

Need a refresher? Here you go:

Yeah. This isn’t just ANY puffy shirt from the 90s…

It’s the blouse that showed a generation the relaxed – but also bumbling and awkward -side of Mr. Darcy.

And I say this as more of a Bingley girl. I KNOW. Always have been, always will be, and I will fight anyone on that. And by fight I mean, like, flutter our fans scornfully at each other. I’m really not a fighter, and this is Pride and Prejudice, not a rumble.

I can’t be the only one who thinks Mr. Darcy’s Wet Shirt is more than just an old shirt – it is somehow imbued with the qualities of Mr. Darcy. Or 1995 Colin Firth. Whichever. After all, it is being displayed in a museum. Further, I found out about this from the New York Times, not some sort of newsletter specifically about the better film adaptations of Jane Austen books. I can’t be the only one who cares a little.

Just like that weird bone-chip in our high school hallway, you have to display important things carefully. How should the blouse be exhibited? I have some ideas:

First of all, you can’t just half-ass it, or it’s going to look like laundry. Regency-era laundry, but still. It will not do:

Second, this is Mr. Darcy’s wet shirt. Not just a shirt. Can they rig up some sort of misting system? Like you’re waiting in line at Epcot.
Great. But when you see costumes displayed, they’re usually on scale mannequins. I like this because at every costume exhibition, I can compare my height and general size to whoever wore it. I cannot be the only person who does that – even at the First Ladies exhibit at the Smithsonian. Mary Lincoln was smaller than I would have thought!
But let’s go back to that video clip. This is fabric that BREATHES and MOVES. Wouldn’t it be a pity to waste that? So maybe they could use some sort of animatronic dummy to really get that sense of movement.
WAIT. See how that blouse billows when it’s submerged? Maybe we need more of a tank situation. Like a small pond and shoreline, so you could see it dip in and out of the water.
The thing is, fire hazards. Right? Putting an electronic mannequin in and out of the water is sure to set some sparks flying – and I’m not talking about the sparks of obvious chemistry between Darcy and Lizzie Bennett.
What I’m saying is, I think we have to use a real human. But wouldn’t it be hard to find someone of the same exact size and charisma as Colin Firth?
So that settles it, then. Colin Firth, wearing the shirt, in a small Pemberley habitat. See you all in Washington this August!

9Mar2016

High School Musical 4: Breaking Free From Disney

Posted in Entertainment by Traci

Revivals of TV shows and movies you loved years ago seems to be the trend of late, like the new version of the superhero genre or forensic procedural that had a surge of shows in years past. And now here’s a little something for the millennials – a movie that just celebrated its 10th anniversary is getting a fourth sequel. Disney head honchos recently announced they are making High School Musical 4, with a whole new batch of aspiring actors just like Disney is wont to do. To tie the new installment in with the beloved OG franchise, one of the main characters is named Campbell and described as “Troy Bolton 2.0” in the character breakdown. Instead of the basketball court, he’s the captain of the soccer team and also a theater star, which runs in his family because guess what – he’s Sharpay and Ryan Evans’ cousin.

My guess is that these two are at least in for a cameo in the fourth movie, since they have reason to be back. But what are they, and the rest of the Wildcats doing eight years after graduating high school? Is Taylor McKessie running the world? Did Chad become a sports star? Has Ryan come out yet? Are Troy and Gabriella still together, fulfilling every shipper’s dream of Zanessa being alive and well in an alternate universe? Most importantly, is HSM4 going to be in the theatres likes HSM3 and I’ll have to go to a late night showing by myself so I don’t see it with other kids or will it air like a DCOM and on the Disney Channel? Will it be on the Disney Channel at all?? (Probably yes). But what if it wasn’t? And what if it actually caught up with the original cast instead of introducing new characters? An adult HSM, if you will. I’m taking a giant leap from reality and exploring not only what the Class of ’08 is doing today, but what they could be doing if they weren’t on DisChan but rather on some of today’s biggest networks. Who knows, anything could happen. This is the golden age of television, after all. You can’t stick to the status quo for everything.

The Disney Channel Version

After graduating from the University of Albuquerque with a degree in the performing arts, Sharpay moved to New York and lived with Ryan while she went on audition after audition to be on Broadway. She was in a few Off-Broadway shows including an ensemble cast member in a new version of Rent (waitress during La Vie Boheme). After two years of working retail at Forever 21 and no getting any luck with her Broadway dreams, she moved back to Albuquerque and works at East High rival West High as the drama teacher. Ryan graduated from Juliard, where he wrote songs with Kelsi, and they created their own duo of Evans & Nielsen. Together they’re Broadway’s next Kander and Ebb and are making waves on the Broadway underground. Meanwhile, Chad also graduated from U of A with Sharpay and was drafted for the Brooklyn Nets straight out of college. He moved from team to team but currently plays for the Phoenix Suns. Taylor graduated from Yale with a degree in political science, then went to Georgetown to get her graduate degree in economics. She’s just got a job in Washington D.C. working as a White House staffer. Troy and Gabriella stayed together throughout college, and he got a job in finance after graduating while Gabriella continued her studies on the way to become a doctor. She’s currently doing her residency in San Francisco, where they both live, and Troy is planning to propose to her, but he enlists the help of the Wildcats to help him pull off an epic proposal.

The CBS Version

Gabriella is a forensic scientist working in Chicago, when she gets a call from Connecticut Senator Taylor McKessie who heard through the grapevine that their East High classmate Zeke is missing. Sharpay, Troy and Chad have been secretly trying to get to the bottom of his disappearance, but they fear the worst and believe he’s been killed. Taylor urges Gabriella to go back to Albuquerque to help them, and a reluctant Gabriella heads home – but uneasy about not only Zeke’s possible death, but facing Troy again after their horrible break-up in 2013.

The Logo Version

Since Kelsi and Ryan attended Julliard together, they became best friends and eventually both came out as gay (much to the surprise to no one). They live together in Chelsea and are like a modern day Will & Grace except they’re both gay and live in a much more ramshackled apartment. Kelsi makes a living as a pianist in various orchestra pits on and off Broadway, while Ryan teaches youth theatre in New Jersey. They both lament about their love lives (or non-existent ones) constantly and are frequently visited by Sharpay, a celebrity stylist, and Martha, who owns her own dance studio in Brooklyn. Token straight couple Troy and Gabriella are married and have a baby on the way, which is a bit of an annoyance to Kelsi and Ryan, who are convinced Troy and Gabriella are going to become the most obnoxious parents and won’t ever have time to hang out with them again.

The Bravo Version

Sharpay lands a role as a stepsister in the Cinderella revival, but after the show closes, she lets the ego get to her head, and hasn’t booked a role in over a year. She’s been married to famed New York chef/restauranteur Zeke for two years and is simultaneously going on audition after audition while also building her new clothing company, while specifically caters to divorcees who have a penchant for glitter and bedazzled dresses. The movie is filmed reality TV style and features cameos from her gay brother Ryan, married couple Taylor and Chad and fighting exes Troy and Gabriella, who live in Long Island.

The Freeform Version

Like the Disney Channel version, but more sex and targeted to “becomers”. Special appearance by Ashley Benson and Shay Mitchell as Gabriella’s roommates in Manhattan.

The Netflix Version

Broken up into 6 hour and a half long episodes, each installment focuses on one of the main characters in the HSM franchise. Shot documentary style, we get a close look at Taylor’s journey on the campaign trail with Hillary Clinton, Chad’s new sober life after overcoming an addiction to painkillers, Sharpay and Ryan’s life in London as they debut their new musical in the West End, Gabriella’s work as a biochemical engineer working to create a cure for cancer, and Troy’s unexpected rise to stardom after starring in an indie film that was nominated for an Oscar, becoming Hollywood’s next big star.

The AMC Version

Basically Breaking Bad, but Ryan is Walter White and Kelsi is Jesse Pinkman. Taylor is Gale, Gabriella is Skyler, Troy is Mike and Sharpay is Badger.

8Mar2016

Lady Mary: One Well-Dressed Bitch

Posted in Entertainment, Outfit Girl by Molly

Minor spoiler from the second-to-last episode of Downton Abbey: Mary Crawley is a bitch.

Okay, that’s less a spoiler and more a fact that we’ve all known since – I don’t know, probably since she helped conceal the corpse of a certain Turkish diplomat.

But in the penultimate episode, Edith finally (FINALLY!) called Mary out on it, and damn, it felt good.

Lady Mary isn’t without her better qualities, though. She’s shown real personal growth after losing her sister Sybil and Matthew, her cousin who she was also married to. She takes good care of little George, or employs people who are good at taking care of him anyway. Lady Mary has an open mind toward all religions, and really nice eyebrows besides. Yet above all, Edith was right: Lady Mary is kind of a bitch – but such a well dressed one!

Shortly after we meet Mary, she establishes herself as the fashionable one with this crisp menswear-inspired riding outfit. Around this time, she also disposes of the body of a man that she slept with after the cousin she was supposed to marry dies on the Titanic.

Still very much in that pre-war, 1910s fashion, Mary wears a beautifully beaded gown that is just starting to show the more streamlined Art Deco look. She also complains that Cousin Matthew, who didn’t ask for any of this, can’t hold a knife.

Mary, in a very Rose Dewitt Bukater- appropriate evening dress, waits to accept Matthew’s proposal until she finds out whether her mother’s having a boy, in which case Matthew wouldn’t have access to that sweet Crawley money.

Moving on to season two (series two if you’re nasty), the world is at war and Mary shows her respect for that situation with these demure separates that are starting to almost look like modern clothes. She also shows her respect for that situation by getting engaged to a newspaper man who will cover up the Pamuk cover-up.

Wearing her signature color (the blood of angry men), Mary breaks into the postwar period with a full, layered skirt, unlike the closer fitting gowns we usually see her in. The perfect dress for getting engaged to your cousin after you’re pretty happy that his fiancee died.

A few important developments: Mary and Matthew finally tie the knot; Downton Abbey is in peril because Lord Grantham spent all his money on yellow labs named after figures in Egyptian mythology; the 1920s finally arrive and with it, the drop waisted dress. Mary’s Art Nouveau hairpiece is so perfectly early ’20s. The whole wedding was beautifully nostalgic, and Mary’s dress reminds me of my great-grandparents’ wedding pictures from the 1910s and ’20s. (Like the Abbey itself, or an item that Lady Mary should have carried on her wedding day, I AM SOMETHING OLD.)

Lady Mary really made you like her in season 3. Not only does she help save Downton from ruin by encouraging Matthew to accept his inheritance from Reggie Swire – AND suffer the loss of Sybil, the noblest of all the Crawleys – she also acts reasonably supportive of Edith when she finally gets her chance at the altar. To celebrate the occasion, Mary wore her springlike best: a wide-brimmed hat, a light cyan lace dress with chiffon sleeves, drop pearl earrings, and an oh-so-20s layered pearl necklace. Then Edith got jilted. GOD. Not the topic of this post, but Poor Edith, right?

All of that work getting us to feel for Lady Mary was leading up to Matthew’s death. Thanks, Downton. The first half of the season is just a lot of black mourning dresses, a custom I’d ALMOST like to see brought back. It was a bit too rigid and sometimes you want to wear a color, but it’s a nice visual reminder that someone’s going through something so maybe you should go a bit easier on them.

That’s why it’s such a big moment when Mary busts out the partial mourning dresses and shows up to lunch in a lilac frock. You really feel for Mary – she doesn’t want to be a hard or cold person, she feels like that’s just how she IS. Of course, that calculating, chilly demeanor can really help you out in business, and Mary proves herself savvy in handling Matthew’s estate.

In the early ’20s, like today, the faux bob was popular with people who weren’t quite ready for the big chop. Mary’s ALMOST got the Jazz Age look down (meanwhile poor Anna is still being forced to dress like she’s from a Beatrix Potter picture book)… but just wait…

SHE’S GONE AND BOBBED HER HAIR. Well, I’ll be. And it looks great! It’s an open-minded hairstyle for an open-minded Mary, who has no problem cavorting with Lord Gillingham then dumping him when she realizes he’s too stupid for her. I mean, she does also tell Tom to stop rolling with that newfangled hussy Sarah Bunting, so in some ways she’s still the old Mary.

The bitch is back: Mary, pictured here in a phenomenal red hat, thinks Edith should stop hanging out with Marigold. Although admittedly, the whole Marigold thing would seem a bit weird if you didn’t know the back-story.

I cannot get enough of this fur-trimmed coat and especially that phenomenal hat! It all looks so warm. Almost warm enough to melt Mary’s chilly heart, but who are we kidding, it’s a coat not a miracle.

By the final season, Mary is dating a driver – and with that come driving accessories! Check out the duster coat, the cloche that even looks expensive, and the buttery leather gloves. THIS is an outfit that says “character development”: but don’t worry, Mary is still quite contrary.

I NEED THIS GOWN. No, really. I need this gown. I have a 1920s-themed wedding to go to this year and nothing to wear. Also, this is the perfect picture to comment on another aspect of Mary’s personality: she’s not exactly a girls’ girl – except arguably her semi-purchased friendship with Anna.

Faults aside, I still really loved Mary’s character and wanted her to find happiness. Here she is at her second wedding, all Art Deco lines and accordian pleats. As one final bitchy act, she informs Edith’s love interest that – gasp! – Edith is only weirdly obsessed with the little girl who lives with her because the little girl who lives with her is her daughter.

By the end of the series, everything is patched up with the Crawley sisters, Mary and Edith are both happily wed, and the Downton Home For Half-Orphaned Children will be in the family for years to come. In a final ground-breaking 1920s fashion move, Mary is the first person on the show to wear sunglasses – though with the amount of shade she throws, it’s amazing that she needs them.

7Mar2016

Frank Underwood v. Donald Trump: A War of Words

Posted in Entertainment, Miscellany by Traci

Like many others, I spent my weekend watching the new season of House of Cards. However, I’m trying to take my time with it and I’m only three episodes into the new season (**no spoilers please!!**). However, after watching the third episode, bells started ringing in my head and I looked into the non-existant camera to break the fourth wall and share my inner monologue.

In the third ep, President Frank Underwood is in the middle of his re-election campaign, and on the day of the primary in his home state of South Carolina, the billboard which usually welcomes visitors into his hometown was taken over by a giant photo showing his father posing with a member of the KKK. And this all happened the day after he gave a rousing speech at a predominantly black church.

Underwood comes forward with the truth – or a version of the truth. He admits the photo is indeed real, but the story he tells explaining it (his dad was basically forced to take the pic to secure a loan to save the family farm) may or may not be the truth.

And of course my mind wandered to politics IRL, where we’re in the middle of our own presidential primaries and it turns out that people are voting for Donald Trump. It feels like we’re in a fictionalized version of America, but instead, we’re living in a real, non-fictional world where the frontrunner for the Republican party in the upcoming presidential election might possibly have ties with the KKK. You’ve probably heard by now, but in a nutshell, David Duke, former leader of the KKK, warned Americans that “voting against Donald Trump at this point is really treason to your heritage.” During an interview with CNN, Trump was asked whether he would condemn Duke and all white supremacists who plan on voting for him, to which Trump sideswiped the question and insisted he “doesn’t know anything about David Duke.” Apparently he forgot about all the time he did know something about David Duke. Since then, Trump has covered his tracks by insisting he “disavows” Duke, but hasn’t really elaborated on it.

The other interesting tie-in to HoC is that Trump’s father, Fred Trump (you know, the one who loaned The Donald a “small, $1 million loan“), also has a history with the KKK. In 1927, he was arrested after a klan riot in Queens, where 1,000 Klansmen & sympathizers of the Italian fascist movement marched through the borough, eventually sparking a fight with anti-fascists in the neighborhood. Two men were killed and seven were arrested, one of those seven men was Fred Trump. It’s not clear what Fred was doing there, what side he was on (if any) or if he was just an innocent bystander. One report suggests Fred was arrested “on a charge of refusing to disperse from a parade when ordered to do so.” So was Donald’s father a KKK sympathizer, and/or Italian fascist sympathizer? We don’t know for sure. Here’s a couple of things we do know: A) Fred and his Trump organization were hit with a civil rights suit by the U.S. Justice Department’s Civil Rights Division in 1973, accusing Fred and his org of refusing to rent to black people. B) Donald recently retweeted a Mussolini on Twitter – after Gawker secretly set him up.

"@ilduce2016: “It is better to live one day as a lion than 100 years as a sheep.” – @realDonaldTrump #MakeAmericaGreatAgain"

— Donald J. Trump (@realDonaldTrump) February 28, 2016

In an interview with Meet the Press, Donald admitted he wasn’t aware the quote he retweeted was by Mussolini, and frankly didn’t care that it was said by the world’s most popular fascist (despite critics pointing out that Donald’s politics and oratory are v. similar).

“It’s a very good quote. I didn’t know who said it, but what difference does it make if it was Mussolini or somebody else – it’s a very good quote.” When asked if he wanted to be associated with Mussolini, he said, “No. I want to be associated with interesting quotes. Hey, it got your attention, didn’t it?”

So let’s try this out. I’ve got compiled a bunch of “interesting quotes” and let’s see whether you can tell the difference between a fictional, depraved politician who lit’rally killed both humans and an animal on his way to become president or if the quote is attributed to the real businessman-turned-politician who is entertaining his way to the top (highlight the text between the two arrows for the answer. If you’re on mobile, highlight the text and press ‘speak’ for a real good time).

“Democracy is so overrated.”

⇓

⇒ Frank Underwood⇐

“Part of being a winner is knowing when to walk away.”

⇓

⇒ Donald Trump ⇐

⇓

“Good people don’t go into government.”

⇓

⇒ Donald Trump ⇐

“I’ll tell you this though. When they bury me, it won’t be in my backyard. And when they pay their respects, they’ll have to wait in line.”

⇓

⇒ Frank Underwood ⇐

“I play to people’s fantasies… That’s why a little hyperbole never hurts.”

⇓

⇒ Donald Trump ⇐

“It’s always good to do things nice and complicated so that nobody can figure it out.”

⇓

⇒ Donald Trump ⇐

“I will not be a placeholder president. I will win and I will leave a legacy.”

⇓

⇒ Frank Underwood ⇐

“I’d push him down the stairs and light his broken body on fire just to watch it burn if it wouldn’t start a world war.”

⇓

⇒ Frank Underwood ⇐

⇓

“The point is, you can never be too greedy.”

⇓

⇒ Donald Trump ⇐

“My motto is: Always get even. When somebody screws you, screw them back in spades.”

⇓

⇒ Donald Trump ⇐

⇓

“Nobody’s a boy scout. Not even boy scouts.”

⇓

⇒ Frank Underwood ⇐

“The more economic difficulties increase, the more immigrations will be seen as a burden.”

⇓

⇒ Trick question this was said by Hitler ⇐

4Mar2016

Leslie Knope 2016: Yes We Can’t Not Knope

Posted in Entertainment by Molly

I think the least politically charged thing I can say right now is that I won’t be voting for Donald Trump. It’s amazing: a distaste for The Donald has actually managed to unite both the political right and the political left in America. Yet somehow, Donald Trump has the highest delegate count in the Republican primaries! But maybe, just maybe, the problem isn’t that people love the Drumpf. Maybe people just aren’t excited about the alternatives. But whether you’re a Republican who isn’t on the Cruz Cruise, or a Democrat who’s not feeling the Bern, I have an alternative we can all agree on – Leslie Knope. Not convinced? Keep reading:

Leslie Knope loves America more than all of the current candidates put together:
Plus, she accidentally legalized gay penguin marriage :
Her presidential portrait would be AMAZING:
Knope didn’t back down from Eagleton; won’t back down from international aggressors either:
Would redecorate the Oval Office like the Gryffindor common room:

Has real red state/blue state cross-appeal:
Good at being yelled at, an important skill for any public figure:
And she’s not afraid to take political punches:
Finally, there would be campaign ads we’d want to see:

She’d be a blast on the campaign trail:
Can you imagine the activities at the White House Easter Egg Roll?
We’d finally see the executive branch go HAM on the Library of Congress:
But we’d also have a president who respects the people who keep America going:
She’d deliver the BEST speeches on the campaign trail:

The Knope campaign wouldn’t end until victory was won:
Would have the MRA movement shut down with a single withering glance:
Yet she’d still speak to the traditional set in terms they can understand:
Leslie Knope knows what it takes to get America on your side:

AND she knows how things really go down in Washington:
Possible fictional running mate – Tami Taylor. Just saying.
Leslie already knew she was going to be President, so we may as well get on board:
Besides, it’s going to happen eventually, anyway:

3Mar2016

Leo Memes Make Me Feel Fine: An Oscar Doesn’t Mean That They Die

Posted in Entertainment, Miscellany by Traci

Hey guys. Remember when Leo won an Academy Award? And we were alive to witness it? Yeah, me too. It’s Thursday and I’m still not over it, so I’m going to keep riding this Leo high for a few more days (weeks, months, years, etc.). Three years ago, we wrote about how the Internet loves Leo. Or rather loves making memes about Leo. Obviously included with that were the famous Oscar memes, in which he just can’t catch a break. Things like:

Since it’s been 20+ years that Leo’s been an Oscar contender, it was only natural his loyal and Internet-savvy fans turn him into a viral meme. But now that the whole Internet has exploded and celebrated his win, what happens to the Oscar memes now?

http://acridsarcasm.tumblr.com/post/140217383326

That, apparently. But guess what – memes don’t die. Memes never die. That’s kind of the point. While the fact that Leo grabbing for the gold or outraged that he didn’t have a trophy yet won’t be relevant, that doesn’t mean the Leo memes will stop. It means there’s a whole new set of memes about Leo actually winning an Oscar, or what we’ve seen in the past couple of days, memes of Leo at the Oscars while waiting for his Oscar.

https://www.tumblr.com/letters-mingle-souls/140201202003/leonardo-gets-nominated-but-never-wins-an

Enter: Leo Cookiegate 2016. If you missed the Oscars (read our live blog so you can talk about it with others as if you actually had), Chris Rock pulled a food stunt a la Ellen’s 2014 pizza bit, where he had a group of Girl Scouts, supposedly for his daughters who were not present, sell cookies to the audience of celebrities. Actors in the audience pulled out cash (change for $100?), Morgan Freeman just stole a couple from Chris at the end of the show and walked away, while this glorious shot of our beloved Leo shows that he got his hands on a box of trefoils (what, they were out of thin mints?) and boy, was he excited.

Naturally, the Internet needed a new Leo meme to focus on, and this seemed like the right choice. Bless his cute little hungry face. Bless us. Bless the Academy for finally making a right decision for once. Bless Chris Rock’s daughters for inspiring this bit that keeps on giving.

View post on imgur.com

That fucking bear won’t leave him alone.

origami helps calm his nerves

it’s a perfectly subtle homage to his accidental (?) middle finger during his acceptance speech, and it’s perfect.

i am the one who wins an oscar!

leo stole buzz lightyear after he presented an award earlier in the show. mark ruffalo stole woody.

actors so hungry they eat anything

and of course

Congrats again, Leo. Here’s one gif that will never go out of style:

2Mar2016

Back To Titanic: A Kate And Leo Retrospective

Posted in Entertainment by Molly

Like so many of our generation, we have a never-ending love of the Kate Winslet/Leonardo DiCaprio friendship. Since the days when we didn’t have the internet at home and had to horde copies of magazines to get our Jack and Rose fix, they’ve always been either friendship or relationship goals. It started with the fun stories of behind-the-scenes antics on the set of Titanic, and Kate and Leo’s frequent awards show appearances only fueled the flames. Mercifully, since 1997 both of them have been consistently on the nominee or presenter block – unless one or the other was working, that is – so we’ve had plenty of mini-reunions to fawn over. Some of us actually ship them as a real life couple. Others think shipping real humans is creepy, but love the good-natured platonic friendship between two talented actors. Whatever it is, the Winslet-DiCaprio friendship is pure magic.

With no further ado .. are you ready to go back to Titanic?

1996

Behind the scenes: Titanic: in retrospect I realized why Kate hated that wig / hairpiece/ dye job situation.

Settle in, because Titanic was where it all started and I can’t get enough of these behind the scenes photos.

Kate is warming up from the chilly water tank; Leo is exhibiting the classic Hot Boy In The Mid-90s Haircut.

I will bet you anything that Kate and Leo are responsible for some of the first viral gifs in internet history, spreading rapidly across angelfire and geocities sites alike.

Okay, last one. Only because some of you may have slow-loading computers. I could do this all day.

1997

Tiny baby Leo talking about Little Kate:

Not to be outdone, Kate had some choice words about Leo:

https://youtu.be/O1-UCwdI5MQ?t=1m51s

1998

Golden Globes: it’s hard to believe these two seemed so grown-up to us at the time, because right here they look like a pair of (rich, elegant) babies.

Kate and Leo, out to wreck us since day 1.

Let’s watch that in action, why don’t we?

https://youtu.be/9ZxNLnmSzuE

2000

Important news in 2000: Kate could still recognize Leo by his walk; she worried about him cavorting with the Pussy Posse; all is well in their friendship:

I saw Leo the other day. I was at a party for Quills. Me and Jim were leaning up against the bar and this posse of boys came in wearing masks and Halloween gear. I recognised him from the way he walked. He ripped his mask off. He hadn’t changed a bit. Of course, he’s famous, one of the most famous actors in the world. But he’s the same person and I’d been so worried about him. He still does care about everything he does. He hasn’t just become some bullshit film star

2004

As one did in 2004, Leo reveals all on Oprah:

2005

SAG Awards: just two unusually talented and good-looking people expressing their friendship; nothing to see here.

2007

Golden Globes: back in 1998 US Weekly would have captioned this photo “They’ll never let go… of their friendship!” and I would have hung it up in my locker.

If Kate and Leo are living their whole Awards Season lives making up for Leo not attending the 1998 Academy Awards, I think that’s fine and appropriate.

On the set of Revolutionary Road. Or: if Rose and Jack had survived into mid-century.

2008

Revolutionary Road UK premiere: Kate and Leo reunite on screen, proving that fan service exists in real life, too.

U.S. premiere, Kate totally just made fun of James Cameron (I imagine).

Promoting Revolutionary Road. We’re all bigger now, Kate. Because of this friendship.

And in case you need the whole interview:

Too long; didn’t listen? Here’s what you need to know:

Well, I think I can speak for both of us: we have a lot more wrinkles. Don’t we, darling? I’m proud of him, though. I can’t say that you’re taller, because you were always tall. He’s a man now; look at him — he’s just bigger. Physically you aren’t that different; you’re just less puny. – Kate Winslet

She’s still as beautiful and radiant as the day I met her. She is the consummate professional; she keeps pushing herself to an emotional truth when she’s working. That’s why I keep saying she’s the best. – Leonardo DiCaprio

2009

Golden Globes: Leo reacting to Kate’s Revolutionary Road win – their long-awaited onscreen reunion. BE STILL MY HEART (OF THE OCEAN)

Wait, do you want to see Kate thank Leo? Of course you do!

Golden Globes: Kate and Leo after she wins for The Reader. Yes, you read that correctly. Yes, she’s THAT talented. Damn, Kate. Damn.

Oscars: Leo wasn’t there but he’s here in Kate’s heart and her heart will go on and on.

Some situations are so delicate that I’d only trust Oprah with them:

2011

God bless Anna Wintour. From Kate’s Vogue Magazine profile:

He knows me better than anyone else in the world. Lots of male friendships begin as a cheeky snog. Or a little undercurrent of flirtation. But Leo and I? No. He’s my rock. I don’t know what the f–k I would have done if I hadn’t had him. – Kate Winslet

We literally grew up together. And in every major life event we’ve been there as a support mechanism for each other. – Leonardo DiCaprio

2012

Titanic was re-released in 3D; Kate kindly graced us with some fresh behind-the-scenes anecdotes:

2013

Leo FINALLY confronts the rumors plaguing him since 1997 (that Kate nicknamed him “Farty Leo,” which I don’t actually remember, which is surprising?):

She never says that to my face. She’s the greatest person. She’s so genuine. I love that girl. She has a brand-new baby and is in love.

Because Kate and Leo CANNOT STOP TALKING ABOUT EACH OTHER (or, um, maybe it’s that we can’t stop asking?) Kate had this to say about Leo in 2013:

Leo has mastered this more than anyone I know. it’s not that he’s sort of brazen like, ‘I don’t give a fuck and I’m going to be rebellious and behave badly.’ It’s not that. It’s genuinely not caring what people think because he will not allow other people’s judgments to have any kind of impact on his life and who he is. and I have really admired that so much in him .

Also in 2013: the one thing that really softened the blow of Kate marrying a man who chose the surname Rocknroll — Leo walked her down the aisle. What does swooning feel like? Because I think I just did it.

2014

Theo or Leo? Considering we all know who Leo is and Theo is either a Huxtable or the name of a lot of babies lately, I think we all know the answer. And Kate doesn’t hesitate, either:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0yRWQNCe8SI

2016

Golden Globes: Number 1, how dare you.

More Golden Globes: I will go down with this ship.

And let’s not forget our own freak-out during our Golden Globes live blog after Leo’s name was announced for Best Actor:

T: YASSSSSSSSSS WHERE IS KATE. WHERE IS KATE. WHERE IS KATE.

M: YAYYY! But does this mean he’ll be even more cursed for the Oscars? Can they please show Kate? SHOW KATE.

IS KATE OKAY. WHERE IS SHE.

T: MAYBE SHE’S PASSED OUT BC THE LOVE OF HER LIFE JUST WON A GOLDEN GLOBE.

M: Yeah maybe she’s hidden behind a camera taking pics for her scrapbook.

T: Kate is at Eddie Redmayne’s table (I THINK) so like, just PAN OVER.

M: THANK KATE. I don’t care that she wasn’t in this.

T: I THOUGHT WHEN HE SAID “LASTLY” THAT IT WAS GOING TO END WITH “KATE WINSLET, WHO HAS BEEN WITH ME AND IN MY HEART SINCE 1996.”

M: I SAW. DID YOU SEE.

T: NO UGH I WAS LOOKING FOR LEO GIFS

M: He thanked the makeup artist or something and you could see a fuzzy Kate Winslet calling out a “woo!” so I like to think she was there just cheering at every damn thing he said.

T: I REWOUND IT. THIS IS THE GREATEST.

SAG Awards: What are you trying to do to me here?

Oscars: how is it possible that they both look even BETTER 20 years after filming Titanic? And how is it possible that Titanic was filmed 20 years ago?