Countdown To ThanksGilmore: Crying Our Way Through Rory’s Grad Party

One thing we’ve had to do in preparation for Gilmore Girls: A Year In The Life is remind ourselves of what happened in Season 7, AKA the One We Don’t Usually Talk About. To any diehard S7 fans out there, we say: great! We’re happy you had seven full seasons of Gilmore Girls that you actually really loved. For us, the tone shifted and it didn’t quite feel like the show we once knew, but that’s not to say that we completely hated it. In fact, we rewatched the finale and found plenty to love… and cry about. Like, a WHOLE lot of crying. If you don’t want to put yourself through Non-Sherman-Palladino Stars Hollow, read our laterblog of the finale, remind yourself of where we left off, and gear up for 2016 Stars Hollow on Friday!

Revisiting The Gilmore Girls Series Finale: A Laterblog

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T: The coup of getting Christiane Amanpour, Rory’s idol since season one, is absolutely one of the most brilliant cameo castings to ever happen on television. Now that I’m thinking about it, it was probably a sign from the writers that Rory’s story – in this part of her life at least – is done being told. She’s ready to go work and be on her own, without being close enough to Lorelai to drive home to her in an hour. Christiane is a symbol of what Rory could be in the future, and she’s propelling her towards the right direction.

M: It’s really easy to read the Christiane Amanpour appearance as stunt casting, but Traci nailed it. From season one we’ve seen Rory pursue the life she wanted, getting sidetracked during some of those weird years (YACHT HEIST WTF), and this just shows she’s making it to where she wanted to be.

Possibly the most awkward picture taken of all time

T: Lorelai gets weird around celebrities like “Jane Pauley, Harry Belafonte and Marisa Tomei” – why are all these people visiting Stars Hollow??

M: It’s like in Full House where like of COURSE Little Richard and the Beach Boys want to hang out with the Tanners.  But if Norman Mailer is to be believed, the Dragonfly is a great place to sit around during lunch hours.

 

Countdown to ThanksGilmore: #NoSpoilers

We are in SINGLE DIGITS people! Like most of y’all, we’ve been waiting for the Gilmore Girls revival for a very long time, and now that it’s finally here, we don’t want it to be ruined with a text or social media post or a certain string of four words.

Because we here at Cookies + Sangria are particularly sensitive to spoilers, we thought you other Gillies who feel the same could use a literal sign, warning everyone who knows you that you are still in the middle of feeling the feels during Gilmore Girls: A Year In The Life. Feel free to print these out and/or post on your various social media accounts to prevent spoilies from getting to you! And stay turned this week for more Happy ThanksGilmore posts (and check out all of them here)!

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Playlist of the Month: Revolution Starts Monday

We are sad, afraid, and angry. We do not feel like this because the presidential candidate we supported lost. We feel like this because hate won. Very soon, though, we need to get to work. The president-elect’s campaign promises, actions (mocking a reporter with disabilities, using racist language about immigrant groups, intimidating a rape accuser who has live witnesses to his rape of her as a 13 year old child… please do not make us list it all), and now, 100-day plan show that our fellow Americans are in danger of losing their hard-won rights and basic safety. Already, hate crimes are occurring nationwide because hatred has been given a voice. We believe that love and goodness can win, but now we have to fight for it. We’ll take a little time to regroup this week, but the revolution’s imminent.

My Shot (Rise Up Remix) – The Roots feat. Busta Rhymes, Joell Ortiz & Nate Ruess

We could have made it through 2016 without Lin-Manuel Miranda, but it would have been much, much worse. We already loved the original My Shot for capturing both the revolutionary spirit of colonial America and of the present day. The new remix, released on the Hamilton Mixtape, takes it to 2016 and the present-day oppression of communities of color.

Fight Song (Democratic National Convention cover) – Rachel Platten

I never liked this song until this version premiered during the Democratic National Convention and reduced me to tears. It was a hopeful moment as we looked forward to the triumph of reason over reactionism, experience over showmanship, and for the love of all things holy, finally a woman in the position of Commander in Chief. It takes on a new meaning now, doesn’t it?

Alright by Kendrick Lamar

Alright became the unofficial anthem last summer when Black Lives Matter activists took the streets, and it was the perfect song – a track touching upon the unbearable pain and struggle while facing adversity in a seemingly hopeless situation. But the message was clear – we gon’ be alright.

Immigrants (We Get The Job Done) by K’naan, Snow Tha Product, Riz MC, Residente

Racism and immigration were at the center of the election over the past year, thanks to an outrageous comment said on the same day He announced his candidacy: that Mexicans are rapists who bring drugs into the country. Blah blah, wall, blah blah. Around the same time, Hamilton was a hit Off-Broadway and preparing to make its move to the Richard Rodgers where it continues to live. In Yorktown (The World Turned Upside Down), Alexander Hamilton and Marquis de Lafayette high five after saying the line, “Immigrants: we get the job done”. Word on the street (and IRL when we saw Hamilton) is that very single performance, this line gets an individual cheer. Because we all know it’s true and immigrants are the foundation of this country.

So what was brilliant for Lin-Manuel and co. for the Hamilton Mixtape was to take that line and turn it into its own track. Not only that, but features artists who themselves are immigrants or align with more than one country/nationality. K’naan, a Somali Canadian poet and rapper, kicks off the track by saying “I got 1 job, 2 jobs, 3 when I need them/I got 5 roommates in this one studio but I never really see them”, letting y’all know they weren’t going to sugarcoat the truth in the song. Interspersed with lyrics from Yorktown, Snow Tha Product, a female Mexican American rapper, comes in adding, “there ain’t a paper trail when you living in the shadows/We’re Americas ghost writers the credit is only borrowed.” That’s followed by Riz MC aka Riz Ahmed, a British Pakastani (who you might know from The Night Of), who spits, “Who these fugees what did they do for me but contribute new dreams”.

The last verse belongs to Puerto Rican rapper Residente, who’s 1/2 of of Calle 13 and whole halves (?) of Lin-Manuel – they’re cousins. He’s known for not holding back when it comes to his political beliefs in his music, and this is no different. In fact, his entire verse is in Spanish, as if they’re letting us know that the we’re entering an era that isn’t just dominated by one culture or race anymore – it’s diverse AF. Speaking to the Latinos in particular, he says, “We are like plants that grow without water/Without an American Passport/Because half of gringolandia is really Mexican terrain.”

Cold War by Janelle Monae

There is work for everybody now – for teachers and lawyers and journalists and parents and many others – and artists are a big part of the change we’ll need. Janelle has always beautifully put words and music to the struggles that millions of Americans are facing. We’re going to need her for these next four years. This is a cold war, you better know what you’re fighting for.

Formation by Beyonce

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Beyonce’s Lemonade era kicked off with the release of Formation, an unapologetic black power and female anthem that had even people from middle America singing “I like my baby hair with baby hair and afros/I like my negro nose with Jackson Five nostrils”. But her message is also one of believing that she (and her fans) can do anything they set their mind to, even if there are people trying to take her down or suppress her voice.  “I dream it, I work hard, I grind ’til I own it/I twirl on them haters”

Soy Yo – Bomba Estereo

This went semi-viral earlier this year because of the adorable little girl in the video, but the message to keep singing, dancing and being yourself even if others don’t like it is one we need right now. Other thing we need right now: Spanish, lots of it, everywhere, because now we have a president-elect who says things like “bad hombres” (AND pronounces it “hambres.” So maybe he just hates angry dudes? But nah.)

Yorktown (The World Turned Upside Down) by the cast of Hamilton

The phrase “the world turned upside down” kept popping up in my head when it became clear what the election results were, because it felt like everything I thought I knew was wrong and everything I feared would come true did, like we were in an alternate universe. I was obviously in the Denial step of the five stages of grieving. But this song – in the historical context – it tells the events that happened during the Battle of Yorktown, the last major battle of the Revolutionary War. A. Ham went (A.) Ham on the British, forcing them to surrender. But the number itself includes a multitude of inspirational lines that are ever more relevant today (and some I already mentioned before). We have Hamilton: “so the American experiment begins” and all his “My Shot” reprisals, in the anger and focus in spy on the inside Hercules Mulligan: “See, that’s what happens when you up against the ruffians/We in the shit now, somebody gotta shovel it!/Hercules Mulligan, I need no introduction/When you knock me down I get the fuck back up again!”, and in this exchange we must remember to this day:

Laurens: Black and white soldiers wonder alike if this really means freedom

Washington: Not. Yet

The Day Women Took Over by Common

A lot of us had hoped we were voting for the first female president on Tuesday, but just because she didn’t land the title of president-elect, it doesn’t mean she’s the last one to run for the high office. In Common’s track, off his new album Black America Again, he pictures a world where peace and unity truly exist on the sole fact that women are in charge. And I hope this hypothetical world isn’t as far off as it seems.

Post-Hamilton Roundtable

We saw Hamilton. After following it from a Youtube sensation during Obama’s first term, to this thing Lin-Manuel Miranda kept tweeting about writing, to the off-Broadway masterpiece I seriously considered traveling to see if I could snag a ticket, to the cast recording we obsessed over, we finally saw Hamilton. It’s a little surreal finally seeing a show you’ve built up so much. We knew there was absolutely no way we’d be disappointed by it, but we couldn’t quite conceive of what it would be like to actually SEE it. We knew what you could know from Hamiltome, various tv interviews, awards show performances and a whole lot of social media stalking, but nothing could have really prepared us for attending Hamilton. If you’re wondering about what to expect, or if you’ve been and want to see how our experience measured up, read on.

The Room Where It Happens

M: First of all, we know that we were incredibly fortunate to get tickets to Hamilton while it’s still the hottest seat in town and some of the original cast is still performing. That being said, we were willing to wait for it (forgive me, I had to). But seriously, Traci saw a block of tickets go up in November of 2015, bought the tickets that day, and we went in October of 2016. If you’re patient or need some time to plan a trip, this is a great way to do it. We didn’t have to deal with the secondary market and our seats in the left mezz were, like, $110 or something ridiculous like that. Well worth it.

T: In full disclosure, I planned an East Coast trip last November because my friend said she was getting married in Connecticut in October 2016, and I basically was like – ‘What date are you getting married again? Now you can’t uninvite me because I asked the date.’ What I’m saying is, force yourself to be a guest at a friend’s wedding and double up the trip by getting tickets to Hamilton.

M: If you haven’t been to the Richard Rodgers and are concerned about having a bad seat, don’t sweat it. Sometimes I like the birds-eye view from above, and in this case it was a great vantage point to see what was going on in the upper levels of the set and far-flung corners of the stage. Obviously it’s a bit harder to catch things like facial expressions, but that’s what they make opera glasses for. Note: we did not bring opera glasses. Anyway, if you don’t have orchestra seats, you’ll be fine. If you DO have orchestra seats, I have some student loan bills you can give me a hand with.

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T: Like Molly said, I loved that we could see the entire stage from above, and it was great for two notable reasons: A) there were amazing lighting designs displayed on the stage during Hurricane and It’s Quiet Uptown that still stick out in my mind and made the songs next level. B) it was easier to spot OG HAM OTP Anthony Ramos and Jasmine Cephas-Jones share intimate stage moments with each other, including right after the final bow when they walked off the stage together with their arms around each other it’s fine.

M: I’m assuming if you’re reading this you’ve seen the Hamilton set from Hamiltome, the PBS documentary, and photos. I’ll just add that in action, it was fantastic. The second balcony/catwalk level gives you plenty to watch outside of the primary action and is used to great effect in the opening number. You’ve probably read that it was designed to evoke old ships and shipyards, and it does. I love that the set rode the line of not being too literal – not like a high school play where they would have rolled out a fake mansion set for the wedding, a cheesy backdrop for Yorktown and potted plants for the duel – but also not being overly spare and abstract. However, everything had enough 18th century flavor that it was easy to suspend disbelief.

T: I loved that the set was simple yet intricate enough to make you use your imagination just a little bit, but props and moving set pieces provided much more detail than just listening to the soundtrack. ALSO the turntable. A++++, set designer David Korins.

M: Plus LIGHTING, which Traci touched on above. Things like creating “rooms” in The Room Where It Happened were incredibly effective and visually engaging, but without edging into gimicky laser light show territory.

T: Speaking of the staging, I own the Hamiltome but have only briefly flipped through it because I didn’t want to get “spoiled” with how each song was played out on stage. When the cast performed Yorktown at the Tonys, I got literal chills when they got to the line “the world turned upside down” and everyone was in slow motion while flipping chairs and props upside down in the air. That’s the same feeling I got when seeing the soundtrack visually played out for the first time.

M: Likewise, the staging of Reynolds Pamphlet with all this chaos and King George III snickering at the action (I had NO CLUE he’d be there), and the slow-moving human hurricane with Hamilton at the eye in Hurricane was just amazing.

T: Obviously Helpless followed by Satisfied was a highlight, but other memorable staging came from the likes of Ten Duel Commandments, Take a Break, one fab lighting change in What Comes Next? and of course, The World Was Wide Enough aka the final duel aka OH THE TEARS

HamilTrash for the HamilCast

M: If you’re seeing Hamilton anytime in the future – in New York or Chicago – you aren’t seeing much or any of the Original Broadway Cast. What you ARE seeing, whenever and wherever you see it, is one of the most talented, affecting, energetic young casts working in theater today. Count yourself as lucky.

T: I’ve written about this subject before, but the cast of Hamilton has a deep bench. Like Mariana Trench deep.

M: Over the days after we saw Hamilton, I think we looked at each other and just said “MANDY” like five times. We are both fans of Mandy Gonzalez’s other work – especially as the original Nina in In The Heights – and she made a fantastic Angelica. I can’t compare it to Renee Elise Goldsberry’s performance because I haven’t seen that, but Mandy’s vocals were every bit as solid as Renee’s are on the cast recording. And since she’s such a seasoned actress, it wasn’t an imitation of Renee’s Angelica. She was at the same time warm but more worldly than Eliza, and it was easy to believe that she, not Alexander, was the smartest person in the room (a comment Lin has made about Angelica – so she played it just right).

T: To be fair, the Post-Hamilton days included a content pitch that was, ‘But what if we tweeted to each cast member we saw individually to tell them how good they were and why?’ (This seemed tedious, but here this post is anyways).

M: I know they’ve heard that they’re good, but it’s almost as though I wanted to individually thank everybody for what they left on the stage that night – and every night.

M: You know how Javier is “Sexy Hamilton?” It’s true, he is. And I can’t even tell you exactly why, which I realize is useless. It’s his overall confident, swaggery vibe I guess. Javier’s Hamilton very believably ages from a young, scrappy and hungry kid from the West Indies to a middle-aged politician. My heart both swelled and broke for young Alex during My Shot when we hit the “do I talk to much?” part, and by the end when he said goodbye to Eliza before the duel I found myself thinking “wow, he has gotten so much older.”

T: You know who else was sexy – even though HamilTrash knows this already – Anthony Ramos. There’s a part in Blow Us All Away where Phillip is hitting on some ladies and says, “And y’all look pretty good in ya’ frocks/How ‘bout when I get back, we all strip down to our socks?” and I was like the anti-Dobby and was on the verge of throwing my socks AT Anthony Ramos. Good lord.

M: I had seen reference to Peggy being young and adorable, and when I only had to go off of the cast recording I was like “yeah, I mean the ‘and Peggy’ part is cute I guess.” But seriously, guys. Jasmine Cephas Jones is adorable playing Peggy as the quintessential tagalong kid sister, which makes it even more amazing to see her transformation in act two. Jasmine’s vocals in Say No To This were spot-on and I didn’t even feel like I was watching the same actress as I was in act one. Mark it: 2016 is the year the Cephas Jones fam takes over the world.

T: INSERT BLATANT PLUG FOR THIS IS US.

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M: We love Andrew Chappelle – mostly from Snapchat, follow Achapphawk if you aren’t already – and were really excited to see he was on as Hercules Mulligan/ James Madison the night we went. The same humor and high energy that we love on Snapchat comes through on stage. I so associate Hercules Mulligan with the gentle giant vibe that Oak brings to it, and it was fun to see the character interpreted a little differently.

T: Hamilton has helped make a tectonic shift in theater/Broadway in many different ways, and one of them is that it became the first cultural phenomenon in a digital age. The last time a show like this became popular way outside the radius of New York City was Rent, and that was 20 years ago when we still saw ads with the phrase “AOL Keyword: Titanic”. Actors of any medium have the chance to reach out to fans like never before, and the mostly millennial cast of Hamilton, notably Andrew Chappelle, has taken advantage of that. He’s hilarious, talented, entertaining, and made a lot of people pay attention to swings like himself, who have often times gone unrecognized for their extensive skills in knowing multiple parts. Never before have I entered a theater, looked at the cast and been ecstatic that a swing, nevertheless knew their name before going into the show, is on that night.

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M: Speaking of people we love because they’re funny on the internet, Thayne Jasperson was a fantastically pesky Samuel Seabury. A Farmer Refuted is fun on the cast recording but not one of the biggest showstoppers – live, with the counterparts of Hamilton’s rap and Seabury’s nerdy loyalist song, it was a delight.

T: Farmer Refuted was one of the songs I usually skipped but after seeing it IRL I skip it no mo’.

M: The fun thing about seeing Hamilton as a weirdo who follows basically the whole cast on social media is you know who all of the members of the ensemble are and can watch for them all individually like a proud mom at a high school musical.

T: CARLEIGH BETTIOL IS A GD BEAUTIFUL TROPICAL FISH.

M: She is one of those ensemble members that you seriously can’t take your eyes off of. I mean, PRESENCE.

M: This post is mostly a big pile of positivity, but we have to pause for a moment to call out a 14-year-old child. AKA, this girl young enough to be wearing braces sitting behind us who went on a furious rant like only an entitled but ill-informed tween can do, because the original cast wasn’t performing. Girl. They have BEEN GONE. At one point she was whining that Daveed wasn’t there and like, if you are such a big fan you would have known that he left months ago? Besides, you are seeing an amazing show with a fantastic cast, and it’s one of those plays that is NEVER going to be a vehicle for one star performer – it’s stronger than that.

T: I passive-aggresively tweeted the link to that understudy post I wrote knowing full well the teen behind us wouldn’t see it but maybe she would just feel the annoyance steaming from our auras. But to continue with what Molly was saying about this show not being entirely weighted by the cast, I’ll just let the HamGod, Lin-Manuel Miranda himself, speak to that:

“The first time I saw the show on Broadway was the first time he (President Obama) saw the show on Broadway. He came to our sixth preview and he didn’t see me in it. He saw Javier Munoz, the amazing alternate who is in it right now. The White House called and said the President is coming to the Saturday matinee – but I’m not in the Saturday matinee. That’s my time to take notes. It’s the only chance I get to watch it. We’re still in previews, we’re still making changes. And then I realized that this is actually great, because you send a message to the world – I’m not the star of the show. The show is the star of the show. And so for the President to see Javi was like a really great way of sending that message…” {x}

Your Pants Look Hot

T: Costume designer Paul Tazewell was one of the HamFam that added to the heap of Tonys this year, and rightfully so. Any piece 18th century is quite a feat to create, and Paul and his team created masterpieces on stage. With the main characters like Alexander, Burr and Jefferson, each had a distinct style and flair. This was prevalent even more so with Jefferson’s Purple Rain outfit, which was fit perfectly for both Daveed Diggs and Seth Stewart, who we saw as his replacement.

T: Mr. Tazewell then impressed even further with accompanying ensemble costumes that had a modern flair to them.  The idea behind the ensemble is that they’re dressed in a neutral base, as a visual metaphor of parchment. Because Hamilton was writing like he was out of time, duh.

M: Plus there was this concept that everyone would be modern from the neck up and 18th century or 18th century-inspired from the neck down. This goes to something I say to anyone who is critical of the multicultural casting. Well, the first thing I say is get over yourself, it’s not as though white people lack for opportunities. But secondly, this is “a story about America then, told by America now” and things like the modern hair and the parchment-colored clothing make it clear that the actors are the storytellers. That is, the ACTORS playing the characters are multicultural, but it’s not as though the CHARACTERS change backgrounds.

 

T: I would die to see these up close (they’ll probs be available in the Smithsonian some day), but for now, we have Hamilcast member Hope Easterbrook doing a twirl that I’ve watched on repeat.

 

You Knock Me Out, I Fall Apart

M: If you’re going to Hamilton, you’re going to cry.  I teared up in the opening number, before anything even happened. Like, by the time his mother died (spoiler? Not a spoiler), if not before.

T: I had to stop myself from tearing up as soon as I heard those first notes, ya know the BUM BUM-BUM-BUM-BUM BUM BUM dooo doo doooo doo part. But by the end of the song I couldn’t hold it in any longer and was really glad I had the foresight to have a tissue out and at the ready.

Although I knew I was going to cry, the one song that I was surprised to cry the most at was The Schuyler Sisters, which we all know is a V upbeat jam. But watching it all play out and hearing those three angelic women sing “how lucky we are to be alive right now” and “the greatest city in the world” while sitting in the Richard Rodgers after waiting all those months – it was too much for me.

M: I knew I wouldn’t be able to make it through Wait For It without turning into a total tear-mill, and I was right. And of course some of it is the song itself – this and It’s Quiet Uptown were ones I had to skip for a while – but let’s not forget about Brandon Victor Dixon in all this. It’s also worth noting that for a few numbers, the staging and choreography gets super minimal and you really pay attention to the music above all (another example would be Dear Theodosia, which of course I cried during as well. Of. Course.)

T: Yes. Tears for all of the above. Dear Theodosia was perfectly still and wonderful. As was Best of Wives and Best of Women. Ugh. His meeting was at dawn though.

M: It’s Quiet Uptown didn’t so much hit me right in the feels, as the kids say, so much as punch me straight in the stomach. This is one of those numbers you can’t really experience in the cast recording – the harmonies are gorgeous but the way they swell in the theater was more beautiful than I would have guessed.

T: Again, the staging of this pushed me over the edge too. We are criers, if you couldn’t tell by this or the entire week of posts we dedicated to the act of crying.

M: I don’t think the end of Who Lives, Who Dies, Who Tells Your Story is a huge spoiler, but just a warning in case you’re sensitive to that kind of thing. In the end Alexander gives Eliza his hand, like she’s crossing a threshold, and she looks up and gasps and you will cry. There are a few interpretations – that she’s seeing heaven, or Alexander (which doesn’t work as well for me only because he’s already next to her) – but my favorite is that she’s looking up at the audience and realizing that she had done more than enough to tell Alexander’s story. Throughout the whole show I kept thinking about what the real historical figures would have thought about this show, once they made sense of what modern music sounds like and why all the ensemble ladies are in breeches or whatever. At that moment, I knew that the real Eliza would be – or is, maybe – shocked that the story she worked so hard to preserve is changing America over two hundred years later.

Playlist Of The Month: Broadway Moments Of The Rosie O’Donnell Show

Whether it’s 1996 or 2016, Rosie O’Donnell is living our Broadway fangirl dreams. Last month we left Hamilton discussing how amazing it would be to be Rosie, who’s been something like 37 times and thus has seen every permutation of the cast. And as two musical-theater obsessed children, it’s hard to overstate how the Broadway moments of The Rosie O’Donnell Show molded our formative years. We saw an adult get as excited about new shows as we did, and just knowing that somebody else out there was playing and replaying cast albums was everything to us. To this day, our conversation about Everything’s Coming Up Rosie week included memories like “didn’t it seem like Fredi Walker was ALWAYS singing Seasons of Love on Rosie?” and “remember how much she loved Bring In Da Noise, Bring In Da Funk?”

Seasons Of Love from Rent

We were both Rent-heads (remember Everything Is Rent Week?), and the cast’s appearance on Rosie made an impression on us. So much so that we commented in Questions, Comments and Concerns: Rent, ” Seasons of Love is very obviously the song they included to be a breakout hit. Like, ‘okay, we need one song in a basic pop structure with no swearing or weird sex stuff in it so we can go on the Rosie show.'” And friendly reminder this is the OBC in the midst of Rentmania in 1996. Look at these babies whose lives are being changed.

Endless Night from The Lion King

The trajectory of musical theatre history is strewn with shows that changed Broadway. It didn’t start with Hamilton – there was a whole path from shows where the music had nothing to do with the plot, to songs that commented on it, to music that actually advanced the story. In the late 90s, The Lion King was another one of those shows changing Broadway by incorporating clever and elaborate costumes,  Garth Fagan’s modern choreography, and total smokeshow Jason Raize. Unfortunately, Jason’s talent was gone too soon after he hanged himself in 2004, but his Lion King legacy will live on forever.

Medley from Titanic

It’s easy to think this is something that would have happened as a result of the bizarre Titanic mania that struck in 1997-1998, but no: this musical predated the Titanic film, meaning that Titanic was kind of a topic of general interest in the 90s. This performance had me itching to see the Titanic musical, if only to find out how it sank on stage.

Willkommen from Cabaret

Caberet struck me as a “grown-up” musical in my Rosie days, but even at that age I couldn’t deny that Alan Cumming had a whole lot of charisma. Between rewatching this performance and picking up Alan’s memoir for some light bus reading a while ago, I have now become an unlikely Alan Cumming stan.

My New Philosophy from You’re A Good Man, Charlie Brown

Adults playing kids are a weird thing. As an adult you can suspend disbelief when a grown-up plays a child in theater or on SNL, but as a kid you’re like “nope, that is 100% NOT a child, good try.” Or if you were me as a child, also “here’s my headshot, give me a job instead of this faker.” That would have been my reaction to You’re A Good Man, Charlie Brown… EXCEPT for Kristin Chenoweth. I remember watching this and taking a while to decide whether this was an adult or not. Part of it is that Kristin is tiny, but it’s also how well she conveys the attitude and mannerisms of a 5-year-old.

Wheels of a Dream from Ragtime

Part of the brilliance of Rosie putting shows on a national platform is that people like us in Western New York or all the way in Alaska get a chance to see Broadway or are even introduced to theater through TV. I remember watching this and loving it so much that I later went to the library to borrow the soundtrack. In high school, I specifically chose to write a book report on Ragtime by E.L. Doctorow because it was what the musical was based on. And I never would have done that if I hadn’t seen these two icons perform on Rosie. It reinforced by love for theatre and gave me a peek into a world I longed to be in.

Who Will Love Me As I Am? From Side Show

For some reason I also clearly remember this performance, mainly because I thought it was so weird there was an entire musical featuring conjoined twins. However, it’s a great performance and a great song, featuring a pre-Tony Alice Ripley who can belt in my fave any day.

Dancing Queen from Mamma Mia!

Fact: I’ve seen Mamma Mia! more times than I should have as a teen. One of those times I saw it on tour and attended a dance workshop where the cast members taught us the choreography for Waterloo, which is the final number after the curtain call. And then we saw the show and got in the aisles and did the choreo like a pre-flash mob flash mob. Anyways, I thought I wouldn’t like Mamma Mia! at all, but two years before my shining moment in the aisle this happened on Rosie and I was all in.

No One is Alone from Into the Woods

If you haven’t seen Into the Woods, it’s important you know that despite the characters all being from beloved fairytales like Rapunzel and Cinderella, this show, specifically the second act, is NOT a necessarily family friendly musical. Despite that, it’s still a fantastic show, and Sonheim nonetheless, so I am envious of everyone that got to see this revival on Broadway. Especially because it features our favorite queen of Broadway and social media, Laura Benanti as Cinderella. Also featured: Adam Wylie aka Jack (of the Beanstalk) aka Brad from Gilmore Girls. In GG, he takes a leave from Chilton, and when he returns, Paris is just as bitchy to him as ever, and even tries to knock him off his game by singing about his magic beans, because Paris.

All That Jazz from Chicago

DR. LILITH STERNIN SINGS ALL THAT JAZZ AND WINS AN EMMY. Reminder that we watched Cheers this year. This role won Bebe her second Tony Award and it’s obvious why. What a gem. And way less obnoxious than Lilith.

Goodbye Until Tomorrow from The Last Five Years

The Last Five Years is undoubtedly one of our favorite musicals, but as someone who didn’t get into it until the revival several years ago, I definitely forgot that it existed at all during the Rosie era. Whether it’s Cynthia Erivo breaking our hearts with Still Hurting or the original off-Broadway cast on Rosie, Jason Robert Brown always knows how to tug on our heartstrings so hard that he rips our hearts all the way out.

Gimme Gimme from Thoroughly Modern Millie

Before Sutton Foster was THE Sutton Foster, she was “this new actress you need to know about, Sutton Foster.” She created a huge splash in Thoroughly Modern Millie, and the first place I ever saw her was on The Rosie O’Donnell Show performing Gimme Gimme. If you told me that Sutton would still be a huge deal 18 years after this, I wouldn’t have been surprised. If you told me that Sutton would look maybe a week older 18 years later, that would have been harder to believe, but here we all are.

Last Night Of The World from Miss Saigon

Everything you need to know about us as friends and as individuals: as oddball fifth graders, we both really wanted to see Miss Saigon. Traci has a traumatic childhood memory of being left with basically strangers when her parents went to it without her, and Molly received tickets for her confirmation, a Catholic sacrament she celebrated at age 10. Weirdos. Fortunately, we BOTH caught OG Kim, Lea Salonga, on The Rosie O’Donnell Show during its convenient after-school time slot. On top of that, Chris was played by a young Will Chase, of Smash, Nashville, and Ingrid Michaelson’s boyfriend fame. What a dream.

 

The Way They Were: Today’s Stars on The Rosie O’Donnell Show

The Rosie O’Donnell Show ran from 1996 to 2002, and even though we watched it to the bitter end we somehow always associate it with the ’90s. When I think of Rosie guests, it’s people like Macy Gray, cast members from Ally McBeal, and throwbacks to Rosie’s 1970s childhood like the Osmonds. However, there are some modern stars we always forget were active in the Rosie era, so it feels like a total time warp seeing them as guests on The Rosie O’Donnell Show.

The Cast Of Harry Potter

Harry Potter and The Rosie O’Donnell Show had a brief overlap – Rosie even campaigned to play Molly Weasley, and while Julie Walters defined the role I bet she would have been great. However, with the last movie coming out in 2011 I tend to forget that Harry Potter And The Sorcerer’s Stone was a 2001 release: firmly in the early 2000s. It doesn’t seem possible that it has been 15 years since Harry Potter first hit the big screen, until you see how tiny the kids were here and it feels like when one of your friends posts a #TBT baby picture.

Mae Whitman

We have long loved Mae Whitman as Parenthood’s Amber Braverman, a real-life Friday Night Lights superfan, Ann Veal (her?), and a Dawson’s Creek Live Reading participant. But let’s not forget that before all this, she was one of those 90s child actors who was in EVERYTHING. You might remember Mae from One Fine Day, When A Man Loves A Woman, Independence Day, and as Sandra Bullock’s daughter in Hope Floats. It’s rare that a child actor maintains such a solid career through adolescence and adulthood. It’s even more rare to create such distinct child and adult personas that we almost forget this adorable moppet is the same cool girl who cracks us up on Twitter on a weekly basis.

Lea Michele

Lea Michele first entered our consciousness thanks to Spring Awakening, but there’s a wide audience who didn’t really know who she was until Glee. We didn’t know it, but we were actually familiar with little Lea long before that. In 1998, Ragtime was all the rage (in our circles, anyway) and Lea was the wide-eyed, precocious little girl. Also: AUDRA.

Jimmy Fallon

We certainly knew Jimmy was around in 2001 – we had massive crushes on him that we’d discuss in study hall and at lunch – but it was early in his SNL career and he wasn’t really doing much press yet, so it’s surprising that he was on Rosie. We had no clue he’d be a wildly popular talk show host in his own right over ten years later.

Alas, there is no video of the appearance, so enjoy this photo of Jimmy and Horatio Sanz as Rosie.

Lil Bow Wow

I know he was  lil when he started, but Bow Wow as an actual child rapper on Rosie is something I cannot quite remember. But it’s true, he was there – sadly, with no video to prove it. Woof.

Jennifer Garner

Jennifer may be a rom-com and movie mom favorite now, but in the early 2000s she was best known as the star of Alias … to other people. To us she was primarily the flirty, 30 and thriving Jenna Rink in 13 Going On 30, which didn’t come out until 2004. That’s why it feels so weird knowing that Garner was on Rosie in 2001 promoting Alias, a show I admittedly never watched.

Lauren Graham

We briefly mentioned Lauren’s appearance earlier this week, as she showed off her “skills” during a craft corner segment on Rosie’s last show of the series. But months before, and nearing the end of season two of Gilmore Girls, Lauren appeared on the show for the first time, and Lo and Ro kicked it off right away. I have always been a fan of LG’s TV interviews because she always comes off charismatic, fun and awkward all at the same time (see: all Ellen interviews), and in 2002, this was just the beginning of Lauren’s rise to fame and her journey with Gilmore Girls. BECAUSE I STILL CAN’T BELIEVE IT’S HAPPENING.

Hayden Panettiere

I sometimes forget Hayden was a child actor. But then I remember she played Ally McBeal’s daughter and it all comes screaming back to me. Before she played a country music star on Nashville, she proved she had the chops to be a pop star by singing Britney’s (You Drive Me) Crazy during this interview and bless her heart, it feels like she’s been practicing the bit with her stage mom, whom she keeps looking at off camera. Young Hayden is cute, but I think I prefer confident adult Hayden much better.

Josh Groban

Speaking of Ally McBeal… actually, let’s back up a bit. Josh Groban was just 17 years old when superproducer David Foster called Josh’s vocal coach asking if he had any students good enough to rehearse with Celine Dion at the 1999 Grammys. She was set to perform The Prayer with Andrea Boccelli, but because he couldn’t make it, Josh filled in, and Rosie was in awe after hearing him during rehearsals – this was the year she hosted the Grammys. She invited him to her show, as seen above, and because of this interview, Ally McBeal creator David E. Kelley created a role for Josh on his show, and the rest is history. Also, Josh is so nervous and shy here it’s adorable and nothing like what he is now.

Lea DeLaria and Jesse Tyler Ferguson

Sometimes when you know actors from two completely different shows, it throws you off when you hear they’ve been friends for years. That is the case for Orange is the New Black’s Lea DeLaria and Modern Family’s Jesse Tyler Ferguson, who both starred on Broadway long before their respective award-winning shows. Here they are performing a number from On the Town, and it’s nothing like you’ve seen them before. Ok, maybe excluding Jesse.

Kobe Bryant

When doing research for this, I saw the third guest in a season one episode titled as “High school student and NBA draftee Kobe Bryant”. I’m not even a big basketball fan, but this is iconic. Kobe, 18 at the time, had signed a three-year $3.5 million contract with the Lakers and he hadn’t even played college basketball. Again, like Bow Wow video from 1998 is scarce, so just trust he was on the show.

Kate Winslet

Technically Kate had a few films under her belt before this interview, but it’s just a treasure of a vid because she is actually doing press for Titanic. It’s her first time on the show, and Rosie wishes her the best of luck as an actress. And like we all knew in that steerage party when she went up on her toes, she’s been knocking it out ever since. Also she talks about Leo and their true love.

BONUS:

When the maybe first female president sings a Bye Bye Birdie song. Also note Rosie in her Rosie-est getup.

Times We Assumed Rosie O’Donnell Was Straight

The world was different in 1996, when The Rosie O’Donnell Show began. The famous Ellen DeGeneres coming out episode hadn’t aired yet, Will & Grace was still years away, and Don’t Ask Don’t Tell was only a few years old. As much as the internet loves to act like 2016 is a trash-lined sewer and the ’90s were a hip, inclusive wonderland, things have gotten a lot better in the past two decades. We were different in 1996, too: we were 10 years old. We knew that gay people existed, but in that era we both tended to assume people were straight unless given evidence to the contrary. A LOT of evidence to the contrary. Rosie’s presence as an affable, cool lesbian paved the way for today’s suburban mom fav, Ellen, and her wide-open closet door was probably really inspiring to a lot of kids in the 90s and 2000s… the kids who weren’t too dense to notice all of these clues, anyway.

Exhibit A: Tom Cruise, Lawnboy

The facts:

  • Throughout the course of her show, Rosie talked a lot about her giddy crush on Tom Cruise.
  • She called him “My Tommy.”
  • A specialized soundboard played The Who’s “Tommy Can You Hear Me”
  • The whole thing read less like a legitimate infatuation, and more as a fun running gag
  • To that end, Rosie even TOLD everybody that she had no adult desire for Tom Cruise:

My crush on him has nothing to do with anything that is adult. It’s a prepubescent girl desire to have his picture thumb-tacked to my bedroom wall. It doesn’t have to do with a thirty-five-year-old woman’s adult desire.

  • On Tom’s first appearance, he brought flowers and didn’t respond like someone at the receiving end of a real and genuine crush. Rosie commented “it’s not like I want the marriage to break up. I just want you to, like, live in my house and mow my lawn. That’s all I want. I want you to do yard work around my house.” As a single lady who hates lawn mowing, I feel that.

  • Rosie, referring to Nicole Kidman, lightheartedly commented “isn’t her husband beautiful”

  • The Rosie O’Donnell Show ended with Tom mowing Rosie’s lawn and offering her a lemonade.

Can you blame us?: I mean. As adults of 2016 we realize that having an opposite-sex crush doesn’t make you straight any more than having a favorite Orange Is The New Black inmate makes you gay. However, this one is less about the cultural milieu of the 90s and more about what it was like to be ten years old. If you told somebody you had a crush in fifth grade, it was SERIOUS BUSINESS. It’s more that we couldn’t understand flippant celebrity crushes, which are now the mainstay of our internet presence.

Exhibit B: And They Called It Puppy Love

The facts:

  • Donny Osmond’s poster was on her bedroom wall “for eight years” when she was a tot
  • Rosie was a member of the Donny Osmond Fan Club. Like the kind where you pay a fee and you get a sticker with his face on it.
  • She owned a Donny Osmond doll. Her brothers wanted to play GI Joe, she wanted to play Donny and Marie.

Rosie: Me and my brother Danny would do Donny & Marie in my backyard with wooden spoons. My mother would be screaming…

Donny: Ok, but hopefully, you were Marie.

Rosie: Most times. But ya know, hell, I’ll be you if you let me.

Can you blame us?: Like Tom Cruise, we kind of just expected that because Rosie had googly eyes and a laminated Donny Osmond Fan Club membership card in her wallet, it meant she was keen on the gentlemen type.

I remember one time around this era I was talking to an older male family friend who was at the time probably in high school, and while a group of us were watching TV, Rosie came on the screen and he said, “You know she’s gay, right?” and being a staunch fan and a 12 year old who believed “gay” was an insult, I came to her defense. “No way. She loves Tom Cruise and Donny Osmond! How do you explain that??” But again, that was just a sign of the times. Obviously as a tween in the mid-90s, I couldn’t delineate between celebrity crush to real life romantic feelings crush, so my points sounded valid at the moment.

But this is kind of all a moot point since Ro and Donny got into a brief feud after he suggested she was fat by saying a helicopter “couldn’t take that much weight.” She turned that Donny doll into more of a Donny voodoo doll, and made him apologize by singing Puppy Love in a puppy get up. Don’t all great straight relationships work like this?

Exhibit C: Lebanese-American

The facts:

  • For a period of time in 1996, there was a long lead-up to Ellen DeGeneres’s character, Ellen Morgan, coming out on the sitcom Ellen. I still remember thinking it was cool, but also consistently thinking it had happened already because it had been in the media for so long. That’s how big a deal it was.
  • Before the episode aired, Ellen appeared on Rosie. Later on, Rosie said that she didn’t want Ellen to be completely alone on this new TV frontier, so they came up with the Lebanese bit and “the people that got it, got it.”
  • We didn’t get it.
  • Watch it and let Rosie explain here:

  • “I pick up sometimes that you might be Lebanese”

Can you blame us? This is the kind of joke that would be hard to understand if you were new to the English language. Lebanese and Lesbian sound sort of similar, Ellen’s quip about dropping hints that character was “Lebanese” (baba ganoush, Casey Kasem, etc) is an analogy to Ellen winking at her character’s orientation, but the punchline was implied. And implied punch lines are one of the last things you understand when you learn a new language, right? Except… we were NOT new to the English language when this aired, we were natives like 10 years deep in it. Even as kids, we should have picked up what Rosie was putting down here.

Things I’m Willing To Believe About Rosie O’Donnell

It’s Day 2 of Everything’s Coming Up Rosie Week, and we’re bringing back a recurring series, Things I’m Willing To Believe About ___, where we compile fake facts that seem… sort of plausible. Today we are spotlighting the Queen of Nice, Rosie O’Donnell. We are willing to believe that Rosie:

  • Had an early showbiz dream to appear as either the newest Brady Bunch kid or newest Partridge Family member.
  • Secretly sells art on Society6 under the pseudonym Katie Morosky
  • Hasn’t been able to let go of all the cassette tapes of Ryan’s Hope she recorded from the ’80s (she didn’t have a VCR back then so she recorded the audio, duh).
  • Has a permanent reserved seat at Hamilton, like how people in the 1800s used to have reserved pews at church. The only reason she hasn’t been MORE times is that she keeps giving the tickets away.

  • Is a generally peace-loving person, except that she can hear a North Shore vs South Shore argument from seemingly blocks away and will jump in.
  • Has not one but TWO dedicated craft/art studios in her home
  • Once had a house decorated with 100% decoupaged furniture. Made a concerted effort to scale back. Occasional pieces still surface at the Commack Volunteers of America Thrift Store.
  • Has had so many millennials come up to her telling her that her show “practically raised me” that she has had to stop agreeing to be listed as their emergency contact, after two such millennials were injured in trust falls on the same day.
  • Didn’t actually sign this autographed headshot that still sits in a frame on my childhood bed headboard

true story: i made my mom take a photo of this and send it to me. she doesn’t know how to take a pic on her phone and text it, but DOES not how to take a pic on her ipad and email it. hence the reflection. WOOF.

  • Auditioned to play the lead of Polly in Crazy For You on Broadway but lost out to Jodi Benson (aka Ariel of The Little Mermaid fame)
  • Her deepest secret: “not really a cat person.”
  • Steven Pasquale would be her modern day/Broadway Tom Cruise-esque crush if she still had her talk show
  • Turns out to be A.D. in the series finale on Pretty Little Liars as a favor to Marlene King (who wrote Now and Then)
  • Knows that Now and Then is an American classic, she just doesn’t want to make a big deal about it.
  • Despite the movie being questionable, Rosie secretly took home her Exit to Eden costume “just in case”

  • Lobbied extensively during the filming of Harriet The Spy to have Harriet’s beloved tomato sandwich swapped for something “less disgusting.”
  • Owns Donald Tr*mp voodoo doll
  • Super tempted to pull a Michael Jordan and take back her talk show from Caroline Rhea after six months
  • Caroline Rhea was her second choice for a replacement. Kristin Chenoweth was first.
  • Geena Davis taught her archery on the set of A League of Their Own
  • Still texts/emails/calls A League of Their Own & Sleepless In Seattle homeboy Tom Hanks for advice

  • Asked British boy band BBMak if they wanted to do a duet with her on her Another Rosie Christmas album, but they respectfully declined citing an “effort to protect their brand”
  • Kangol sent Ro hundreds of free hats that she couldn’t possibly wear herself, so that’s why anyone who shopped at Goodwill or Salvation Army in the Greater New York City area between 1996 and 1999 are owners of said accessory
  • Had Mormon missionaries visit her house weekly for YEARS in an attempt to capitalize on her love for Donny Osmond. It didn’t take.
  • Goes without saying, her Tom Cruise obsession caused similar problems. She does not want a free personality test, thank you very much.
  • Secretly made the Internet with Al Gore and sneakily popularized it with her show

  • Is still really good friends with Madonna, and is (secretly) the only person allowed to shorten her name to “Maddie.”
  • Tom Cruise is on her Christmas card list, but every year she worries it could be some sort of Scientologist faux pas.
  • Forced John McDaniel to spill all the juicy details on working closely with Patti LuPone, and wouldn’t give him the job of musical director on her talk show until he caved
  • Still keeps in touch with Kathy Del Bel Baluz (sp?) from Toronto, Canada and they exchange notes about wall stenciling.

  • Once prank called Elisabeth Hasselbeck and asked if her refrigerator was running
  • Gets free bus rides from the MTA ever since Riding the Bus with my Sister aired
  • On the days she misses being a talk show host, she makes her kids be her guests, and acts it all out in the replica of her Rosie show set in her home
  • Yes, it IS cute when they change “Tommy Can You Hear Me” to “Mommy Can You Hear Me,” thank you very much.
  • Sent Jimmy Fallon a care basket and heartfelt (yet funny) note after his ring finger accident, since a staph infection nearly cost her her own finger too
  • Since childhood, Rosie has maintained a complex, multi-factor ranking of supermarket snack cakes – and has a curious aversion to the Swiss Cake Roll.
  • Single-handedly revived Pepto Bismol’s brand by constantly singing “plop plop fizz fizz” on her show
  • Found  Oprah’s secret poop bathroom while filming The Rosie Show at the Queen’s studios in chicago
  • Secretly hated Tickle Me Elmo and all that he stood for

We’ll Never Love Anything As Much As Rosie O’Donnell Loved….

Rosie O’Donnell may be one of the most famous talk show hosts of the 90s and early 2000s, but we like to think of her as one of the most famous FANS, too. So deep was Rosie’s fondness for her favorite things that when we were discussing this post, we came up with dozens of musicians, games and foods that Rosie adored – even though it has been nigh on 14 years since The Rosie O’Donnell Show left the airwaves. While we like to think we share some of Rosie’s gusto, the fact is that we will never love anything as much as Rosie O’Donnell loved:

Kids

M: Rosie thought kids were punny (other thing Rosie loved: puns), but most of all, she was the ultimate kid-friendly adult. She actually LISTENED to kids, acted like their opinions and stories were legitimate, and didn’t ask them condescending questions. There’s a chance I’m conflating Rosie with Golly, her character in Harriet The Spy, but probably not.

I also always loved that Rosie seemed like a parent who genuinely got a kick out of her own kids, and I refuse to believe that Parker is a grown man because I still can hear Rosie’s Parker imitation.

Broadway

M: You know when you’d get a cast recording and listen to it over and over again? And maybe you still do that (ahem – Hamilton)? Rosie was a TV-sanctioned adult who did the same thing. Rosie adored showtunes and musical theater actors, and all of the hottest shows of the 90s and early 2000s performed on Rosie. It didn’t seem weird at the time, but there are very few talk shows that you can count on to feature up-and-coming musicals. There’s a lot to say here, so we’ll be revisiting this topic later in the week.

Of course, no mention of Rosie and Broadway would be complete without a nod to her tenure as Rizzo in Grease.

T: Remember right after her show ended, she invested in a musical called Taboo loosely based off of Boy George? Don’t worry, it got mostly bad reviews and closed after 100 performances, so unless you’re a crazy person like we are, you wouldn’t have remembered just how deep her Broadway love runs.

Broadway Kids

M: Rosie loved Broadway, and Rosie loved kids, so it stands to reason that Broadway Kids were Rosie’s jam – to the extent that she created Rosie’s Broadway Kids (now called Rosie’s Theater Kids), an organization that gets kids involved in the performing arts. However, during our childhood the Broadway Kids were at troop of polished musical theater kids who sometimes performed on shows like Rosie. I remember watching them through a lens of admiration mixed with envy. I feel like Lacey Chabert was always involved, but that can’t be possible.

T: Lacey Chabert – that bitch be everywehre.

Entemann’s

M: Entenmann’s baked goods reminded Rosie O’Donnell of the Long Island mom-types during her childhood playing bridge or whatever it was that Long Island moms did in the 60s. And now, Entenmann’s baked goods remind me of Rosie O’Donnell. I don’t know her position on TastyCakes.

T: I do know her position on Ring Dings, because audience members got that and milk before the show.

Koosh balls

T: There are few talk show hosts who can get away with launching rubber balls into the audience and make it look cool. Just imagine Oprah doing this for a second. And that’s OPRAH. When Rosie flung these into the crowd, it suddenly became an interactive show and added a sense of innocent fun unlike any other talk show on TV. It became so synonymous with her show that Koosh sold a special Rosie O’Donnell Show version of their Koosh Fling Shot, as seen here and the one sitting at my home collecting dust.

M: I got one of these at the store after the NBC tour, c. 1998. I don’t keep things so I got rid of it sometime in high school, but I sort of wish I still had it.

Tom Cruise

T: If there’s anything you took away from watching Rosie in the 90s, it’s that she had an obsession with two people: Tom Cruise and Barbra Streisand. If you recall, Rosie had a soundboard that played audio clips next to her desk, and anytime she’d talk about her deep love for her celebrity crush, she’d play “Tommy, can you hear me?” a line from a song of the same name by The Who. She campaigned for him to be on her show, and when he finally made it, it was like watching Jim and Pam kiss for the first time. Rosie invited fans into her life by sharing personal anecdotes that made it seem we had been friends growing up in Commack, Long Island, and we were cheering her on as she lived out life long dream. I mean, while rewatching this clip, I legitimately said out loud (to no one), “THIS BRINGS ME SO MUCH JOY!” Especially if you forget about all of Tom Cruise’s persona.

M: When we were doing our Rosie Week research this summer, we were both floored by how quickly into the show’s run Tom appeared (plus a few others, like Donny Osmond). The buildup was so huge that at the time, it felt like years before “my Tommy” was a Rosie guest.

Barbra Streisand


T: As mentioned, Rosie’s other love was Barbra. She had loved the icon ever since she was a kid, not only because she enjoyed her music, but it was a common interest she shared with her late mother, who died of breast cancer when Rosie was just 10. She even used to amuse her mom by impersonating Barbra, so it was always like a maternal fan relationship with her.

In that first interview with Babs in ’97, I distinctly remember tearing up because Rosie was tearing up, but I feel like anyone would after watching Ro interview/meet her lifelong idol.

“For every boy and girl out there watching, dreams do come true, please welcome Barbra Streisand… You were a constant source of light in an often dark childhood. You inspired me and gave me the courage to dream a life better than the one I knew. I am profoundly grateful to you in so many ways.”

McDonald’s Happy Meal Toys

M: Rosie seemed so genuinely delighted by McDonald’s toys that it didn’t occur to me until I was writing this post at age 30 that it could have been a marketing tie-in. And honestly? I still think she really liked the toys. Rosie always had ALL of the Teeny Beanie Babies, even the “rare” ones.

T: Rosie probably had the Princess Diana one, LBR.

M: Thing from my childhood I DIDN’T KonMari: My Princess Diana Bear. That thing was gonna pay my college tuition.

Chub Club

T: When you’re living in America, at the end of the millennium – you are what you eat. Which is why Rosie started the Chub Club, a campaign to get herself and viewers in shape. The motto was “Eat Less and Move More” and basically served as a virtual support group to lose weight. Over 300,000 people joined, and was a staple on Rosie’s show. She’d invite Chub Club members to the show, discuss the right foods to eat and try out exercise tips. If I wasn’t a tween at the time, I definitely would try to do this for the swag alone (I think there was swag, at least).

M: I love how no-fuss this idea is. There are no weird things with tracking carbs or fats (it was the 90s) and you didn’t have to do Billy Blanks. Everyone on a diet in 1999 had to do Billy Blanks workouts before this. That’s just how it was.

Being Kissable

M: Doesn’t ring a bell? Here, let me help. Scope did a poll that named Rosie one of the least-kissable celebrities. Yeah. If you think the media is nasty now, the 90s were possibly worse. Anyway, Listerine disagreed and donated $1,000 for every celebrity guest who kissed Rosie. In the end, it was a lot of money.

Being Crafty

T: This video includes two of our favorite people in the world. And if you’re wondering what the timeline is here, LG appeared on Rosie’s very last episode in 2002 aka season two of Gilmore Girls. Yeah, I know it’s weird. BUT THIS IS A DELIGHT. “Shells are very big for Summer 2002”.

Anyways, Rosie was so cool during this time that she made even crafting hip (amongst the suburban mom demo and kids under the age of 14). She even had a segment called Rosie’s Craft Corner, and she’d usually have either her official show crafter named Christina, I think? Or a celeb guest, as seen above. No lie, I bought Mod Podge solely because Rosie decoupaged all the things, so natch, I did too.

Being Irish-American

M: Rosie freaking loved being Irish-American, and it was so refreshing to have a celebrity cultural spokesperson who wasn’t a Kennedy. (Yeah, lots of celebs are part-Irish, but there’s a difference between being raised doing Irish dance and going to the AOH verses just knowing some great-great-great grandparent was supposed to be from there). So did Rosie sometimes say things were “Irish” things when they were really just her family (I recall cold sores and having a short upper body)? Sure, but who cares? She helped maintain the Irish reputation for being hilarious and affable, and we all owe her a Guinness for that.

Donny Osmond

T: Donny Osmond, former teen heartthrob and longtime Mormon singing icon, made a cutting joke about Rosie’s larger figure, and she got on the outs with him. In an effort to apologize, he dressed as a large puppy and sang his signature song, Puppy Love. It was obviously rude of him to make the joke, but the result is great, and I can’t say that I didn’t have a crush on him twenty years too late during this era.

M: Thanks to Rosie, I saw Donny Osmond appear at the Hill Cumorah pageant, a big Mormon to-do. Readers? I am not Mormon.

Her BFFs Jackie and Jeanie

M: When we watched Rosie as tweens, we imagined (a) that we’d be friends with our childhood besties forever and (b) if we ever got famous, they were coming with us. That’s why we loved how Rosie would bring her buddies onto her show and chat about them in the same way one might name-drop a celebrity.

Lapels

M: OK. It was a 90s thing. But the fact remains that the woman loved a pantsuit with big lapels. Do you remember those giant brooches that moms and teachers would wear back then? You NEEDED those lapels.

Her Barbie

M: Can you blame her?

T: Is that a card deck labelled “Activity Zone!”??? Because I need it.

Having A Footrest

M: Rosie’s desk had a slide-out footrest for short guests. She LOVED offering it to people, and it came in handy because a lot of Rosie’s guests were children or, for whatever reason, small adults.

When people did her desk

T: I could be wrong, but I’m pretty sure Rosie had a contest in which different people would design her desk and it lasted maybe a week or two. Here’s one featuring a real habitrail with real hamsters. Other themes included Star Wars, Hot Wheels and an entire desk made out of Legos. As a 12 year old, this desk was #goals.

Cheers Chats #10: Indoor Fun With Sammy And Robby

Welcome back to Cheers Chats! We’re almost to the end of the series (and that is a good thing for both of us), but we have a couple more before we get to the finale. Here’s a stop in season eight, when we definitely are wondering why we are still doing this.

Episode 8.19: Indoor Fun with Sammy and Robby

Originally aired: February 22nd, 1990

Previously on Cheers

(Brief synopsis of what happened prior to this episode)

T: I’m not gonna lie to y’all – I have NOT been enjoying this season. It’s probably because this show aired in 1990 and society has shifted since then, but BOY is this show not friendly towards women. I think I’ve mentioned it before, but in the 11 seasons of Cheers, only 10 or so of the writers were women. Plus, there are only 2 main female characters, and Carla tends to side with the guys in general (or is always pregnant). The blatant misogyny and lack of respect for women in the show has bugged me so much that if I wasn’t *doing it for the blog* I would stop watching.

M: We have hashed out the idea of doing a full post dedicated to this particular frustration, and stay tuned because it’s coming as soon as I can distill my thoughts into something more than an angry rant punctuated with the sentence “DIANE DOESN’T EXIST.” It’s almost as if, in addition to containing almost no women, the writer’s room of Cheers had also never met one.

Like Traci, I’ve been surprised to find that things got worse as we entered the 90s. Or maybe we’re just tired.

T: Rebecca finally sleeps with her forever crush and boss Robin Colcord in a two-parter called “Finally”. Sam (who’s still trying to get in Becky’s pants) finds out Robin is seeing another woman. Robin, in an effort to prevent Becky from finding out about his infidelity, offers to sell Sam the bar back if he doesn’t tell her. Being the semi-good guy he is, Sam decides to tell her anyways. She confronts Robin but apparently they’re still together?

M: REBECCA DOESN’T EXIST.

Netflix synopsis

Robin takes a day off work to spend some romantic time with Rebecca, but he ends up getting into a competition with Sam that takes all day.

What Had Happened Was

(Basic recap of the episode’s main plot)

Rebecca – Rebecca has big plans for Robin’s rare day off- they’re going to live out every “fantasy” she’s ever had, which includes walking on the beach, having a picnic in the park, paddleboating, going to the zoo, and seeing Phantom.

Cliff – A pool ball ricochets off Cliff’s head and he may or may not have a concussion.

Frasier –  Frasier keeps playing darts and wants someone to beat him.

Little Ditty About Sam and Becky

Sam fuels the Robin fire by continuing to engage in bar games with him as he continues to put off going out with Rebecca. Part of this includes a game of chess, which Sam does NOT know how to play. So he gets the assist from Norm, who is talking to him through a headset while he plays it out via a game on the computer. So much masculinity.

Becky with the Good Hair

T: Despite knowing that Robin has another girl in his life, Rebecca “doesn’t care” because she is “winning” and “not jealous” because he “prefers” her to “Jeanne Marie”. WOOF.

Rebecca, going through a rack of different outfits for the day: “This is for the beach walking hand in hand, picnic in the park, paddle boats, zoo, seventh row Phantom of the Opera, and this is for the end of a romantic evening…” holds this up:

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M: Oh, Bex. By the way, Outfit To Wear To Phantom was a staple in the wardrobe of every fine woman of 1990.

T: Robin gets caught up with the darts tourney and Rebecca ends up going to the beach with Woody. Robin continues to face-off with Sam in bar games. Rebecca continues her day of fun with Woody instead of Robin. I don’t get why she is continuing her day. Besides the Phantom tix, she can do everything else with Robin at another time.

M: Except that Robin NEVER TAKES A DAY OFF, a fact that is very emphatically repeated at the beginning of the episode for no real reason.

LLOL

The moments that made us literally laugh out loud

T: Literally did not laugh one bit of this episode.

M: Not even a chuckle. We’ve fallen so far since the pilot.

Say It Again, Sam

(Memorable lines from the episode. Not exclusively from Sam Malone.)

Rebecca: “That chick is in Paris.”

Carla: “Oh, I thought Robin was in charge of that.”

“Being a progressive couple…” Fraiser and Lillith are splitting time waking up in the middle of the night to feed their baby. Which is a thing that happened.

“Hey, no one calls me ‘adroit’” Sam. Bless.

Frasier: So, where did you get all this expensive listening equipment, anyway?SO, WHERE DID YOU GET ALL THIS EXPENSIVE LISTENING EQUIPMENT, ANYWAY?

Norm: Oh, this is Pete’s stuff. He uses this all the time. 

Frasier: Pete, are you a surveillance expert?

Pete: No. My wife sleeps around a lot. 

Sam: You shouldn’t have moved your cardinal, bub!

Robin: Bishop. It’s called bishop. 

Sam: I never like to nail a guy twice in one afternoon.

Carla: You haven’t LIVED. [This feels like a very 1990 joke right?]

Cheers Queries

Woody irons all of Rebecca’s clothes for her multiple dates. Why does he keep agreeing to do personal work for her?! He’s the bartender.

REMEMBER FLOPPY DISKS???
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How long did it take Norm to boot up that computer? It was always like the first entire 15 minutes of computer class in the early 90s.

Do people sing “na na nana, na na nana, hey hey-ey, goo-oodbye” to taunt people anymore? They do in this episode, and it happened in my childhood, but I can’t say I’ve heard it for years.

Have they always had this room with a giant rococo computer table? Heck. Have they always had a computer? All you could do with it at this point was play minesweeper.

Carla’s My Boo

Bless Carla for at least calling out that Robin’s got a side chick. Or maybe Rebecca’s the side chick.

Barfly Fashion

Rebecca’s mint green pant suit is a lot

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This is exactly the type of sweater Frasier would wear.

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Rebecca gives Robin “beachcombing” wear aka a matching sweater and yellow bucket hat. WHAT IS WRONG WITH HER.photo-oct-18-10-12-19-pm

Sam on his headphones, pretending he’s listening to a basketball game on his walkman

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Carla’s shirt with… fruit?

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Also, Rebecca’s outfit to wear walking on the beach is a big Aran sweater. Presumably they will meet a golden retriever and take part in a Land’s End shoot.

Final Thoughts

T: Is it season 11 yet?

M: I totally would have tagged along for Rebecca’s day of yuppie fun, but I don’t think the Cheers writers know that female friendship is a thing.

Next Up: We are basing our watch list off of AV Club’s 10 Episodes That Show How Cheers Stayed Great For 11 Seasons. We’re going chronologically, so stop by next month when we’ll discuss season eleven, episode 22, It’s Lonely at the Top.