The Canadians have taken over the White House and boy are Americans happy about it. Yesterday, the (fairly) newly elected Canadian Prime Minister Justin Trudeau and his wife Sophie Grégoire Trudeau arrived in Washington, D.C., marking the first official visit by a Canadian leader to the U.S. in nearly two decades. If you don’t know anything about Justin Trudeau and “Trudeaumania”, I wrote about him a while back, so get acquainted. You’ll need to as he continues his world domination. Canada and the U.S. have always had a friendly alliance, and that was clearly on display when PM Trudeau and President Obama got together on Thursday. The Internet immediately noticed the budding #bromance between JT and Barry, and soon people were pitching buddy cop comedies and podcasts of them bantering back and forth about which country is better (that was me. I did that).
And while I admit I’d love to see these two become besties and take over the world together, I’d be remiss to glaze over the other romance that’s happening in the Beltway right now – the glory that is power couple Michelle and Sophie. Mophie? Sochelle? Sochelle. Either way – #FLomanceGoals (First Lady).
While the boys were busy talking climate change and international trade and other world leader topics, the women got together at an event for Let Girls Learn, an initiative which promotes girls education. Before speaking to a select group of young ladies from across the country, Michelle said this of her new BFF Sophie:
“(Sophie) is like, my soul mate right now. We’re already gotten into trouble. We’re gonna be in a lot of trouble before this visit is over. In addition to being beautiful and funny, she’s got a great sense of humor – she was cracking me up back there.” {x}
They met hours before, you guys. But it’s easy to see why Mich fell in love so quickly. Backing it up a bit, most of us already know Michelle’s background. But here’s a quick primer on Sophie:
She became a national figure as a TV reporter on Canadian entertainment news show, eTalk.
Sophie and Justin grew up together in Montreal, since she was friends with his young brother Michel. Years later, they reconnected when they co-hosted a charity event, and started dating a few months later. They married in 2005 and they have three adorable kinder.
Sophie’s platform has always been related to women and young girls’ issues, working with various charities throughout Canada.
Sophie is fluent in French, English, and Spanish.
She is a certified yoga instructor
So now that she’s your favorite person, just imagine being in a room with her AND Michelle. Any time two intelligent, empowering, beautiful, witty ladies get together, I’m into it. But if it’s Michelle and Sophie – I am FOMO jealous to the MAX. Just LOOK at them:
and when they hug it’s not a fake political hug it is from the bottom of their souls
they empower and encourage girls together!
dorky mom moves are encouraged and applauded!
when your bestie knows you look fine af
michelle doesn’t even want to let go!
the ladies that slay together, stay together.
So, in short, what are the chances we can get the Trudeaus to move to America? Or better yet, have a Trudeau/Obama ticket for… 2016? Too late? Not possible in the slightest? Ok. Well I’ll settle for a seat at their dinner parties then. Goals AF.
Revivals of TV shows and movies you loved years ago seems to be the trend of late, like the new version of the superhero genre or forensic procedural that had a surge of shows in years past. And now here’s a little something for the millennials – a movie that just celebrated its 10th anniversary is getting a fourth sequel. Disney head honchos recently announced they are making High School Musical 4, with a whole new batch of aspiring actors just like Disney is wont to do. To tie the new installment in with the beloved OG franchise, one of the main characters is named Campbell and described as “Troy Bolton 2.0” in the character breakdown. Instead of the basketball court, he’s the captain of the soccer team and also a theater star, which runs in his family because guess what – he’s Sharpay and Ryan Evans’ cousin.
My guess is that these two are at least in for a cameo in the fourth movie, since they have reason to be back. But what are they, and the rest of the Wildcats doing eight years after graduating high school? Is Taylor McKessie running the world? Did Chad become a sports star? Has Ryan come out yet? Are Troy and Gabriella still together, fulfilling every shipper’s dream of Zanessa being alive and well in an alternate universe? Most importantly, is HSM4 going to be in the theatres likes HSM3 and I’ll have to go to a late night showing by myself so I don’t see it with other kids or will it air like a DCOM and on the Disney Channel? Will it be on the Disney Channel at all?? (Probably yes). But what if it wasn’t? And what if it actually caught up with the original cast instead of introducing new characters? An adult HSM, if you will. I’m taking a giant leap from reality and exploring not only what the Class of ’08 is doing today, but what they could be doing if they weren’t on DisChan but rather on some of today’s biggest networks. Who knows, anything could happen. This is the golden age of television, after all. You can’t stick to the status quo for everything.
The Disney Channel Version
After graduating from the University of Albuquerque with a degree in the performing arts, Sharpay moved to New York and lived with Ryan while she went on audition after audition to be on Broadway. She was in a few Off-Broadway shows including an ensemble cast member in a new version of Rent (waitress during La Vie Boheme). After two years of working retail at Forever 21 and no getting any luck with her Broadway dreams, she moved back to Albuquerque and works at East High rival West High as the drama teacher. Ryan graduated from Juliard, where he wrote songs with Kelsi, and they created their own duo of Evans & Nielsen. Together they’re Broadway’s next Kander and Ebb and are making waves on the Broadway underground. Meanwhile, Chad also graduated from U of A with Sharpay and was drafted for the Brooklyn Nets straight out of college. He moved from team to team but currently plays for the Phoenix Suns. Taylor graduated from Yale with a degree in political science, then went to Georgetown to get her graduate degree in economics. She’s just got a job in Washington D.C. working as a White House staffer. Troy and Gabriella stayed together throughout college, and he got a job in finance after graduating while Gabriella continued her studies on the way to become a doctor. She’s currently doing her residency in San Francisco, where they both live, and Troy is planning to propose to her, but he enlists the help of the Wildcats to help him pull off an epic proposal.
The CBS Version
Gabriella is a forensic scientist working in Chicago, when she gets a call from Connecticut Senator Taylor McKessie who heard through the grapevine that their East High classmate Zeke is missing. Sharpay, Troy and Chad have been secretly trying to get to the bottom of his disappearance, but they fear the worst and believe he’s been killed. Taylor urges Gabriella to go back to Albuquerque to help them, and a reluctant Gabriella heads home – but uneasy about not only Zeke’s possible death, but facing Troy again after their horrible break-up in 2013.
The Logo Version
Since Kelsi and Ryan attended Julliard together, they became best friends and eventually both came out as gay (much to the surprise to no one). They live together in Chelsea and are like a modern day Will & Grace except they’re both gay and live in a much more ramshackled apartment. Kelsi makes a living as a pianist in various orchestra pits on and off Broadway, while Ryan teaches youth theatre in New Jersey. They both lament about their love lives (or non-existent ones) constantly and are frequently visited by Sharpay, a celebrity stylist, and Martha, who owns her own dance studio in Brooklyn. Token straight couple Troy and Gabriella are married and have a baby on the way, which is a bit of an annoyance to Kelsi and Ryan, who are convinced Troy and Gabriella are going to become the most obnoxious parents and won’t ever have time to hang out with them again.
The Bravo Version
Sharpay lands a role as a stepsister in the Cinderella revival, but after the show closes, she lets the ego get to her head, and hasn’t booked a role in over a year. She’s been married to famed New York chef/restauranteur Zeke for two years and is simultaneously going on audition after audition while also building her new clothing company, while specifically caters to divorcees who have a penchant for glitter and bedazzled dresses. The movie is filmed reality TV style and features cameos from her gay brother Ryan, married couple Taylor and Chad and fighting exes Troy and Gabriella, who live in Long Island.
The Freeform Version
Like the Disney Channel version, but more sex and targeted to “becomers”. Special appearance by Ashley Benson and Shay Mitchell as Gabriella’s roommates in Manhattan.
The Netflix Version
Broken up into 6 hour and a half long episodes, each installment focuses on one of the main characters in the HSM franchise. Shot documentary style, we get a close look at Taylor’s journey on the campaign trail with Hillary Clinton, Chad’s new sober life after overcoming an addiction to painkillers, Sharpay and Ryan’s life in London as they debut their new musical in the West End, Gabriella’s work as a biochemical engineer working to create a cure for cancer, and Troy’s unexpected rise to stardom after starring in an indie film that was nominated for an Oscar, becoming Hollywood’s next big star.
The AMC Version
Basically Breaking Bad, but Ryan is Walter White and Kelsi is Jesse Pinkman. Taylor is Gale, Gabriella is Skyler, Troy is Mike and Sharpay is Badger.
Like many others, I spent my weekend watching the new season of House of Cards. However, I’m trying to take my time with it and I’m only three episodes into the new season (**no spoilers please!!**). However, after watching the third episode, bells started ringing in my head and I looked into the non-existant camera to break the fourth wall and share my inner monologue.
In the third ep, President Frank Underwood is in the middle of his re-election campaign, and on the day of the primary in his home state of South Carolina, the billboard which usually welcomes visitors into his hometown was taken over by a giant photo showing his father posing with a member of the KKK. And this all happened the day after he gave a rousing speech at a predominantly black church.
Underwood comes forward with the truth – or a version of the truth. He admits the photo is indeed real, but the story he tells explaining it (his dad was basically forced to take the pic to secure a loan to save the family farm) may or may not be the truth.
And of course my mind wandered to politics IRL, where we’re in the middle of our own presidential primaries and it turns out that people are voting for Donald Trump. It feels like we’re in a fictionalized version of America, but instead, we’re living in a real, non-fictional world where the frontrunner for the Republican party in the upcoming presidential election might possibly have ties with the KKK. You’ve probably heard by now, but in a nutshell, David Duke, former leader of the KKK, warned Americans that “voting against Donald Trump at this point is really treason to your heritage.” During an interview with CNN, Trump was asked whether he would condemn Duke and all white supremacists who plan on voting for him, to which Trump sideswiped the question and insisted he “doesn’t know anything about David Duke.” Apparently he forgot about all the time he did know something about David Duke. Since then, Trump has covered his tracks by insisting he “disavows” Duke, but hasn’t really elaborated on it.
The other interesting tie-in to HoC is that Trump’s father, Fred Trump (you know, the one who loaned The Donald a “small, $1 million loan“), also has a history with the KKK. In 1927, he was arrested after a klan riot in Queens, where 1,000 Klansmen & sympathizers of the Italian fascist movement marched through the borough, eventually sparking a fight with anti-fascists in the neighborhood. Two men were killed and seven were arrested, one of those seven men was Fred Trump. It’s not clear what Fred was doing there, what side he was on (if any) or if he was just an innocent bystander. One report suggests Fred was arrested “on a charge of refusing to disperse from a parade when ordered to do so.” So was Donald’s father a KKK sympathizer, and/or Italian fascist sympathizer? We don’t know for sure. Here’s a couple of things we do know: A) Fred and his Trump organization were hit with a civil rights suit by the U.S. Justice Department’s Civil Rights Division in 1973, accusing Fred and his org of refusing to rent to black people. B) Donald recently retweeted a Mussolini on Twitter – after Gawker secretly set him up.
In an interview with Meet the Press, Donald admitted he wasn’t aware the quote he retweeted was by Mussolini, and frankly didn’t care that it was said by the world’s most popular fascist (despite critics pointing out that Donald’s politics and oratory are v. similar).
“It’s a very good quote. I didn’t know who said it, but what difference does it make if it was Mussolini or somebody else – it’s a very good quote.” When asked if he wanted to be associated with Mussolini, he said, “No. I want to be associated with interesting quotes. Hey, it got your attention, didn’t it?”
So let’s try this out. I’ve got compiled a bunch of “interesting quotes” and let’s see whether you can tell the difference between a fictional, depraved politician who lit’rally killed both humans and an animal on his way to become president or if the quote is attributed to the real businessman-turned-politician who is entertaining his way to the top (highlight the text between the two arrows for the answer. If you’re on mobile, highlight the text and press ‘speak’ for a real good time).
“Democracy is so overrated.”
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⇒ Frank Underwood⇐
“Part of being a winner is knowing when to walk away.”
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⇒ Donald Trump ⇐
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“Good people don’t go into government.”
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⇒ Donald Trump ⇐
“I’ll tell you this though. When they bury me, it won’t be in my backyard. And when they pay their respects, they’ll have to wait in line.”
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⇒ Frank Underwood ⇐
“I play to people’s fantasies… That’s why a little hyperbole never hurts.”
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⇒ Donald Trump⇐
“It’s always good to do things nice and complicated so that nobody can figure it out.”
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⇒ Donald Trump⇐
“I will not be a placeholder president. I will win and I will leave a legacy.”
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⇒ Frank Underwood ⇐
“I’d push him down the stairs and light his broken body on fire just to watch it burn if it wouldn’t start a world war.”
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⇒ Frank Underwood ⇐
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“The point is, you can never be too greedy.”
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⇒ Donald Trump⇐
“My motto is: Always get even. When somebody screws you, screw them back in spades.”
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⇒ Donald Trump⇐
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“Nobody’s a boy scout. Not even boy scouts.”
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⇒ Frank Underwood ⇐
“The more economic difficulties increase, the more immigrations will be seen as a burden.”
Hey guys. Remember when Leo won an Academy Award? And we were alive to witness it? Yeah, me too. It’s Thursday and I’m still not over it, so I’m going to keep riding this Leo high for a few more days (weeks, months, years, etc.). Three years ago, we wrote about how the Internet loves Leo. Or rather loves making memes about Leo. Obviously included with that were the famous Oscar memes, in which he just can’t catch a break. Things like:
Since it’s been 20+ years that Leo’s been an Oscar contender, it was only natural his loyal and Internet-savvy fans turn him into a viral meme. But now that the whole Internet has exploded and celebrated his win, what happens to the Oscar memes now?
That, apparently. But guess what – memes don’t die. Memes never die. That’s kind of the point. While the fact that Leo grabbing for the gold or outraged that he didn’t have a trophy yet won’t be relevant, that doesn’t mean the Leo memes will stop. It means there’s a whole new set of memes about Leo actually winning an Oscar, or what we’ve seen in the past couple of days, memes of Leo at the Oscars while waiting for his Oscar.
Enter: Leo Cookiegate 2016. If you missed the Oscars (read our live blog so you can talk about it with others as if you actually had), Chris Rock pulled a food stunt a la Ellen’s 2014 pizza bit, where he had a group of Girl Scouts, supposedly for his daughters who were not present, sell cookies to the audience of celebrities. Actors in the audience pulled out cash (change for $100?), Morgan Freeman just stole a couple from Chris at the end of the show and walked away, while this glorious shot of our beloved Leo shows that he got his hands on a box of trefoils (what, they were out of thin mints?) and boy, was he excited.
Naturally, the Internet needed a new Leo meme to focus on, and this seemed like the right choice. Bless his cute little hungry face. Bless us. Bless the Academy for finally making a right decision for once. Bless Chris Rock’s daughters for inspiring this bit that keeps on giving.
We got a bonus day yesterday, which apparently means that women are *allowed* to propose to their boyfriends instead of the other way around. It’s a tradition that dates back for centuries, and seems to derive from lore in the U.K. and Ireland. And despite the fact that – GASP – women can propose any damn day they want, there was still a bunch of ladies who got down on one knee yesterday and popped the question. Like this woman I found on Instagram, for example. She not only posted about proposing on the days leading to the big day, but in a video, the big moment seemed… anti-climactic?
While this lady’s proposal wasn’t filled with a lot of fanfare, there is one that could possibly be way more dramatic – Amy Adams in the film Leap Year. I’ve never seen this movie, so what better time than an actual Leap Year to dive right in?
Knowledge of this film:
Amy Adams falling in love with some guy who’s British. On February 29th? Andddd I’m out.
Actual IMDb description:
Anna Brady plans to travel to Dublin, Ireland to propose marriage to her boyfriend Jeremy on Leap Day, because, according to Irish tradition, a man who receives a marriage proposal on a leap day must accept it.
…. I was close. Moving on.
THIS TAKES PLACE IN BOSTON????? I NEED THERE TO BE A HORRIBLE FAKE ACCENT (odds are yes).
ADAM SCOTT IS IN THIS?? GUYS IT’S BEEN ONE MINUTE AND I’VE LEARNED SO MUCH.
So Amy/Anna’s job is a realtor? Luxury type? No, she “stages” apartments. When people are selling their place, she basically set dresses the home to make it more sellable. There’s a job for this??
“We’ve got an 8:00 rezz…” Adam Scott, but also channelling Tom Haverford. I just realized he must have filmed this on a break from Parks? Or just before Parks?
John Lithgow is Amy Adams’ father??? Honestly, who else is going to pop up in this movie?
Anna thinks her BF/Adam Scott is going to propose to her at this fancy dinner – reminder that this is not how you propose.
Turns out Adam presented her with a box of diamond earrings. Bummer.
He gets a call during dinner about an aorta emergency (he’s a cardiologist) and he has to leave… but also leaves her with the check??? And he’s leaving straight from the hospital to Dublin for a cardiologist conference. So, um, peace out?
In Ireland tradition a woman can propose to a man every four years “That’s ridiculous” says Anna. ALSO SAYS TRACI. This movie was made in 2010, and I feel like women empowerment, feminism, etc. has made great strides since then, which makes me think this movie might not fly in 2016? Not like this was a big blockbuster six years ago, but I’m just saying a lot more people would speak up and argue how dumb this idea of chasing after a man just to propose to him on the one day where roles are reverse is stupid.
Also, they really should’ve released this movie on a leap year.
“I may have underestimated the storm just a little bit.” – the captain piloting a plane through horribly turbulence says as the oxygen masks fall from overhead.
They have to land in Wales due to the weather, which means Anna is in quite a pickle with her proposal plan.
Why did Anna wear heels on the plane? She’s dressed like she’s going to a business interview.
She is The Perfect Storm-ing it and it’s utterly ridiculous.
WELL. This is why you don’t wear heels on the plane.
Anna ends up at a bar in… Dingle? She asks around for a taxi to drive her to Dublin, but surprise, surprise S.O.L. She has to spend the night at the small town’s inn, which happens to be upstairs and Matthew Goode is the bartender/innkeeper?
She is out of juice on her *Blackberry*, but the only place to plug it in is underneath the bed. She can’t reach it, and tries to move the bed, which leads to breaking the drapes, and knocking over a dresser and lamp. Then when she does plug in her phone, it sparks because OBVIOUSLY and she manages to cause a blackout in the inn and throughout the entire town. This is why people hate Americans.
Matthew Goode is v tall and has to duck his head when going through all the doorways.
His character is also kind of grumpy and crochety, which is the exact opposite of all the people I met when I was in a small town in Ireland. Back when I was studying abroad in college, my friends and I took a weekend trip to Ireland. We went to the Cliffs of Moher and a small town near that called Doolin, where my friend’s best friend’s family is from. We spent part of St. Patrick’s Day in this small town, and this town center reminds me of Doolin and I have all the nostalgic feels rn.
“It’s a Vuitton.” Anna
“…what??” Matthew Goode LOL
Anna tells Matthew Goode (whose name is Declan, because the writers wanted to make sure you knew they were in Ireland) about her #LeapYearProposal and he thinks it’s the dumbest thing he’s ever heard. I’m with him on this one.
“What are you, the Lucky Charms leprechaun?” SICK BURN, ANNA.
God this is so picturesque and gorgeous it makes me want to go backkkk 😦
Declan has been eating in 90% of his scenes so far. He’s like the Rusty Ryan of Ireland.
Anna accidentally makes their car roll back and off a cliff into some kind of marsh and what in the fresh hell. Is she supposed to be this clumsy?
Sans car, she decides to star walking with her Vuitton suitcase. A van passes by and he basically steals her suitcase and drives away. Also there were weirdos in the blacked out back. Declan warned her.
Whyyyyy is she still wearing heels?
Anna and Declan end up at the same bar as the dudes who stole her suitcase, and they’re creepily going through her shit, including her underwear? Declan starts a fight and comes to her rescue which means they’re going to fall in love.
Declan’s been calling Anna “Bob”, which she now finds out means “Cash/Money”. Again, SICK BURN.
She finally gets a train ticket to Dublin, but still has two hours to kill, so she and Declan go to visit a castle, because Ireland is awesome and there’s one around every corner. He tells her the story and his fake Irish accent is so good that I can only make out half of the legend. Something about this Romeo & Juliet type couple that consummated their relationship at the castle. Who knows.
Um it looks like they’re standing in front of a green screen??
It’s starts downpouring yet again and Anna slides down a giant hill. She’s really not doing well in Ireland.
Oh no she missed the train. I’m actually a little sad for her.
The cute old dude working at the train station is v sympathetic and brings them to his house in Tipperary, where him and his wife are super against couples sleeping in the same room if they’re not married, so they have to pretend they’re Mr. and Mrs. O’Brady-Callaghan.
When did Declan say Heads I win, Tails you lose. JOEY?
Yo Declan straight up beheaded a chicken with one swift motion. It’s disturbing (they don’t show it on screen), but Anna is also taken aback and says, “You just surprised me. You keep doing that.” They are faLLING IN LOVe.
“Always kiss like it’s the first time and the last time” says the random dinner guest who’s making out with his wife too much at the dinner table.
Of course old train guy then forces Anna and Declan to kiss. He very forcefully starts chanting “KISS THE GIRL” and even slams his hand on the table. This is borderline abuse mixed with uncomfortable arousal from the old dude (They give in anyways).
BTW, Declan is charging Anna for this entire excursion, and they’re currently at 675 Euros for 2 days of travelling. Prediction: she dumps Jeremy and Declan’s final line is something like, “You still owe me”.
IDK if it’s because of the Perfect Storm ref or this scene where they’re sharing a bed or both of them pretending to hate each other when clearly they’re into each other, but these two remind me of Pacey + Joey.
Declan overhears Anna talking to Jeremy on the phone and he is clearly jealous. He takes his homemade Irish breakfast and goes to sulk in the pantry. Reminder: Anna and Jeremy – still a couple.
“Never start a journey on a Sunday or a full moon,” says an old Irish man. Earlier someone brought up the bad luck of a black cat crossing. I was not aware this country had so many superstitions.
It starts violently hailing and they find refuge in a building which turns out to be a wedding, and Declan accidentally yells out “JESUS CHRIST!” but Anna immediate saves him and says, “-is Lord!” Truly great teamwork, kids.
The priest invites them to attend this wedding, and at the ceremony, we find out Declan used to be married. So there’s the romantic comedy secret he’s been hiding.
The blue lights at this reception are similar to the ones at the restaurant in Boston where Jeremy gave her the earrings – I don’t know whether this is supposed to be a juxtaposition or not because is this the type of movie that would do that?
Someone starts spinning Anna and her HIGH HEEL accidentally falls off and flies right into the bride’s forehead, leaving her with a nasty mark. Then she accidentally spills wine on the bride’s dress. Why is this her character trait?? Amy Adams is too classy to be clumsy (name of my debut album).
Gah this is so pretty!
They’re sharing a tender moment and it looks like she’s about to kiss him and it turns into vomit. Because she’s drunk from the open bar, not because she suddenly has a stomach bug.
For a brief moment Declan thinks Anna straight up left him and went on the bus to Dublin without saying goodbye and he is extremely bummed. She actually went to get them coffee, and in that moment she realizes he cares for her and it’s really sweet and I am INTO IT.
They finally make it to Dublin and it turns out his ex lives there with the guy she cheated on him with, who happens to be his friend. Rough times. Earlier, Declan asked Anna what she would grab if there was a fire, knowing her answer would be something of great monetary value (you know, because he calls her Bob). His answer is that he would (if he could) take the claddaugh ring that used to be long to his mom. The only caveat is that he gave it to his ex Kaleigh and he doesn’t have it anymore. I’m guessing this is going to come back into play later?
She offers him the cash she owes him and he only wants to take the quarter (heads I win, tails you lose).
I love you Adam Scott, but you are such a good villain/douche and he’s not even trying to be in this one!
OH Jeremy proposes to Anna right in the middle of this hotel lobby and she looks up to get Declan’s confirmation and he’s gone.
ACTUALLY this reminds me of Once. Except this movie probably has a happier/more satisfying ending.
Declan meets Kaleigh – hopefully to get the ring back? OMG is he going to fly to Boston and propose to Anna with the ring??
Apparently Declan’s bar was in danger of being closed if they didn’t raise enough money but the local barflys all pitched in and saved it? That was a random plot (unless I missed it).
Ok so in the beginning, Anna and Jeremy apply for a fancy apartment at “The Davenport”, and while they’re in Ireland (but still separated), Jeremy tells Anna they got the news they got the apartment. Flash forward to Jeremy back in Boston where they’re throwing a housewarming party in their new digs, and he’s explaining to their friends that one of the folks on the board frowned upon couples who are not married living together (callback to the lovely Irish train dude who made Anna and Declan kiss). So basically Jeremy only proposed to get the apartment?!?
Anna is astonished that Jeremy did this, so after some cinematic stares over their palatial home, she pulls the trigger on the fire alarm to see what Jeremy would take (if there’s a fire, etc. etc.). He immediately tells Anna to grab “laptops, camera, whatever” and lit’rally says, “I got the video camera – I still haven’t put the proposal up on Facebook, so I’ll do that later.” And she peaces out.
Cut to Ireland and Declan’s running a bustling restaurant – how much time has passed? Is it still Leap Day? Is SHE going to propose??
Anna’s dressed like she got her dress at a knock-off Anthropologie circa 2003 and her hair even has one of those zig zag headbands from 8th grade.
“Here is my proposal: I propose we not make plans. I propose we give this thing a chance and let it work out how it works out. So what do you say? Do you wanna not make plans with me?”
Um I love this. It’s reminiscent the “I’m just a girl…” line from Notting Hill. Anna basically is like, “I’m a notorious planner, but this one time I don’t want to do any of that shit and see how it works out. In front of his whole restaurant.” Appresh.
And his answer: walks out and closes a door. Awk sauceee.
“I guess that’s an Irish no.” Anna
She goes to the cliffs and you hear Declan come out of nowhere to say, “Mrs. O’Bradycallaghan. Where the hell are you going?” MRS. O’BRADYCALLAGHAN I AM INTO THIS SO HARD.
WELL WELL WELL HE PULLS OUT THE CLADDAGH RING and says, “I reject your proposal and I don’t wanna not make plans with you. I want to make plans with you.”
Ugh propose to me on these cliffs
THIS IS RIDICULOUS THEY BARELY KNOW EACH OTHER THOUGH THIS IS LEGIT THE SECOND TIME THEY’VE EVEN KISSED. JUST GET TOGETHER AND SCREW THIS MARRIAGE PROPOSAL
“It’s gonna cost you.” Declan
“Put it on my bill.” Anna
I WROTE THIS MOVIE, IT’S FINE.
“It’s good luck to get engaged on a Sunday.” Full. Circle.
So remember a couple months ago when Netflix (pause: I was typing this and a Fuller House commercial legit came on the TV – it’s weird this popular streaming service is advertising on network TV. ANYWAYS) released the first promo for Fuller House? If you don’t, maybe it’s because you blocked it out after CRYING SO MANY UNEXPECTED TEARS.
It was the first look into the new era of a Tanner family, or rather “Fuller” family since that’s DJ’s married name now, and how things have changed since 1995. Specifically, it’s comprised of shots of an empty house, which looks all too familiar and different at the same time. For many of us, this home isn’t just the ‘house that built the tanners’, it’s the ‘house that built me’ as a viewer as well. But of course they can’t keep the exact same set from 20 years ago. It’s TV, things need to updated and shown that time has passed, so in conjunction with our ongoing series Let’s All Decorate, Let’s All RE-Decorate one of America’s most beloved houses and explore its new life in 2016.
The Living Room
THEN:
This living room is arguably one of the most recognizable in TV, and while its architecture is a classic San Francsisco Victorian row house, it was a product on the 1990s inside. In addition to the random decorative tchotchkes (tiny man with trumpet?) the most notable piece is the white and blue plaid couch. It’s been there since the pilot but what’s always been interesting to me is that it seems so small for a house of 9 people and a dog. And no other seating options? Actually if I recall correctly they sometimes had two chairs that weren’t present at all times?
NOW:
I still am unclear whether Danny still lives here (I’m assuming Jesse and Becky and Joey all moved out?), but he probably is the only one since DJ moves back in so easily. That could explain why not much has changed except for the pillows. WHY IS THAT DINGY COUCH STILL THERE??? Wake Up, San Francisco has got to pay you enough to buy a new one.
The Kitchen
THEN:
This kitchen boasts quintessential ’90s decor wood paneling, a matching wood kitchen table, cabinets, and chairs – Danny clearly wanted the seat cushions to match the living room couch.
NOW:
What’s interesting is that most of the kitchen is the same, save for new appliances and the backsplash near the stove, which I’m guessing has more to do with the fact producers wanted to keep the familiarity of the set but make it modern. Like how those seat cushions are the same, but 2016 is apparently the year the Tanners are super into signage (see:’eat’ and ‘home’ pillow on the couch.
D.J. and Stephanie’s/ Stephanie and Michelle’s Room
THEN:
I always thought this room was so cool- it had a bay window AND enough room for a table and chairs! The posters on the wall are always fun to look at and see where we were in this sliver of pop culture. Also Deej’s bed with the metal red frame is extremely 90s, while Steph’s bed looks like Danny got that bedding as a hand-me-down from his mom.
NOW:
Per the trailer, Deej is living back in her old room, but instead of sharing the room with her sister, she’s sharing the room with her baby boy. She’s exchanged the George Michael posters for classier rorschach test-looking art pieces and Mr. Pillow for a plushy owl. Also she has three kids, so there’s that.
Michelle’s/DJ’s Room
THEN:
This room started as baby Michelle’s room, which explains the trend in the ’80s and ’90s of slapping a strip of wallpaper with a repeating pattern on the wall. Here, teddy bears are the theme (which is clearly a musical theme with the guys as well), whereas the one in my old room was a strip featuring a series of jovial clowns that definitely aren’t creepy in 2016.
NOW:
Deej opted to exchange bears for planes, trains and automobiles in her son’s room (so she has two cribs? Or it changes mid-season?). It still has a warm vibe to it like it did before, and her oldest kid will probably come to DJ with a cue card presentation convincing her that he needs to have his own room because he’s too cool and his siblings are annoying and DJ agrees and the oldest and youngest sons switch places.
Jesse’s/Joey’s Room
THEN:
This particular picture is the Joey era of the room, as distinguished by the Marx Brothers and Charlie Chaplin wall posters in the background. JOEY WAS A COMEDIAN, OK?
NOW:
I’m assuming this is Kimmy’s room (she moves in to help DJ), since it’s bright and eccentric just like ostrich-owning Gibbler. In this scene she is literally doing the Hammertime dance because she can’t get out of the 90s. If there was a lava lamp in here next to a rainbow wax mold of her hand with a peace sign, I wouldn’t be surprised.
Joey’s Room/Jesse’s Recording Studio
THEN:
Before Joey more upstairs, he lived in the basement, a fully carpeted and furnished living area that was all his. Again, Charlie Chaplin continues to be an inspiration for Joe, and his lounge furniture a) has a random white design on it and b) easily looks like it could be patio furniture.
NOW:
My best guess is this room is now Stephanie’s living quarters. We still don’t know what she’s been up to all these years, but if this is her room, I’m theorizing she’s a world traveler who teaches yoga, based on the couch threads, possible sombrero on the staircase and Indian-style pillow with an elephant on it. Or she could be like, a 4th grade teacher who’s really into global studies.
The Academy Awards are about a week away, which means we’ll know whether or not American Treasure Leonardo DiCaprio will be holding a solid gold man in his hands or the Internet will continue to rage against his injustice of still not getting the Oscar he truly deserves.
Back in 2013, it was our freshman year on the blog and I wrote this following post in honor of my boo’s 39th birthday. It got some traction and became its own viral WordPress sensation, which is ironic since it’s a post all about the Internet. Anyways, a little over two years have passed and I thought it would be appropriate to bring back these Oscar memes for #ThrowbackThursday since unfortunately they still ring true to this day.
Let’s not jinx it, but everyone cross everything on their person and knock on all the wood that Leo’s going home with the gold this year (and that he has a moment with Kate in the process).
On November 11th, 2013, Leonardo Wilhelm DiCaprio turned 39 years of age. 39. That’s one year away from 40. Leo is officially like, an adult. Perhaps the age was jarring because in my mind, he is forever 23 years old. If you do the math (which, I mean, don’t), that brings us to 1997, when he was in Titanic. You guessed it folks – I, like many girls of my generation – was a total Titanic fangirl. I saw it 5 times in the movie theater, purchased every single item of memorabilia (including the script) and wore out tapes 1 & 2 of the VHS copies. In fact, I was so obsessed with Leo himself that I made it a mission to watch every single movie he was in (note to parents: don’t let your 12 year old watch The Basketball Diaries without knowing what it’s about first) and even used the name “Julieta” in Spanish class as an ode to Romeo + Juliet.
Anyways, because I am a Leo fan, I’ve always remembered his birthday, but I never would have imagined he would have a bash like he did on Sunday. Apparently, Leo is a big rap fan, and invited his FRIEND 2 Chainz to perform. Oh yeah, AND Kanye West.
The party at Tao in NYC ended up being a charity event too, because he raised $3 million for his environmental foundation, so all in all not too shabby. But thanks to social media and the internet, there are plenty of videos and pix to make us *almost* feel like we were there.
Then again, Leo has somehow been a constant presence on the internet, despite the man himself being a more reserved and private celebrity. Case in point: Memes.
Just like it’s difficult to find a person who hates Leo IRL, the internet feels the same adoration for him, by making him the subject of many a meme. So to celebrate Leo in all his glorious 39 years of existence, here are some of the greatest viral items of one of the greatest actors of our generation.
Strutting Leo
The one that stands out the most – strutting Leo. Originally taken while he was on set filming Inception, the folks of the interwebz took this comical pic of Leo and Photoshop him into various other scenes.
Inception strutting
bitch what are you doing here strutting
come catch me strutting
thx moses strutting
reaping strutting
Inception Leo
This was taken straight from a scene in Inception where Cobb (Leo) is talking to Robert Fischer (Cillian Murphy), but Leo’s reaction face is what got the internet nerds all in a tizzy.
Rage over Leo’s lack of Oscars
Pretty self explanatory. The Academy hates Leo. The Internet hates the Academy.
because lindsay lohan
Bad Luck Leo
In which Jack Dawson looks happy on the outside, but on the inside, his heart is frozen over.
Poppin ‘n Lockin Leo
If this doesn’t convince you to see Wolf of Wall Street, I don’t know what will
Basically, this was just posted everywhere and anywhere and sometimes in wall form.
I’m accidentally starting a new series for the blog called Things We Need to Revisit, which I kicked off with the Super Bowl 50 earlier this month. Today, we’re talking all about last night’s Grammy Awards, which was filled with highs and lows and Hamilton. All Hamilton all the time. Here are the moments I feel like we need to talk about again today, and yes, Taylor Swift’s maj shade is on the list.
As awards shows are wont to do, stars from that network randomly show up to promote their series in a slick way. It’s the reason why NCIS: Los Angeles star LL Cool J has hosted the show 5 times, and why Gary Sinise star of Criminal Minds: Beyond Borders presented the Best Country Album with country singer Cam. And it’s why Shad Moss aka Bow Wow (CSI: Cyber) was chosen to co-host the pre-show with actual reporters from Entertainment Tonight. Approximately 2 minutes before the show started, Shad was in the audience giving viewers a preview of who was in the crowd, but at the 1.30 mark, he excitedly yelled, “The Grammys start now!” … except they didn’t. He attempted to do filler then throw away to the top of the show like two more times, looking at his watch WHICH SHOULD HAVE TOLD HIM THE TIME? before they cut away to the ET folks who know how time works. It was awkward and I can’t stop laughing at it.
Sam Hunt and Carrie Underwood Take Their Time
Apparently their performance was shat on by a lot of haters online, but I wasn’t paying attention – Carrie is one of my favorite singers and Sam is a smokeshow so this pairing was a GD dream. Plus, the sound system was already fucked up (see: Adele).
Demi was part of an all-star tribute to Lionel Richie, with a medley that included John Legend, Meghan Trainor, Luke Bryan and Tyrese Gibson (?). While John kicked it off with a flawless version of Easy, Demi was a standout in the bunch, mainly because she knocked the socks off of people who have been underestimating her or just don’t know her music. They know her as a former Disney star who went to rehab, and over the past year, Demi’s been out there hustlin’ trying to prove them otherwise. IMO, the new era of her slay-age began with SNL back in October, and with her performance on the Grammys it took her to a whole new level. Demi has never even been to the Grammys before, which was a conscious decision on her part. She didn’t want to go unless she earned it, whether it be being asked to perform or having a nomination (one day), so her debut at the Grammys itself became an epic one with her powerful vocals. And she definitely showed them she was meant to be there.
After performing an a cappella tribute to late Earth, Wind, & Fire star Maurice White with Pentatonix, Stevie was responsible for reading the winner of Song of the Year. He brought out the envelope, which was a bit of a gag since, hey, Stevie’s blind (tell that to 19-year-old me who legit waved to him at TRL). But then he turned it into somewhat of a PSA.
So not everything can go perfectly on live TV, even if you’re Adele. The only difference is that Adele can still make a fucked up instrumental and sound situation seem like NBD. Especially in a huge venue like Staples Center with thousands of screaming fans, it’s imperative for a singer’s earpiece to work, and for the music playing through said earpiece to be on tune. It definitely wasn’t her best performance, and everyone freaked out but ultimately forgave her because she’s Adele. However, she explained later that the piano mics fell on to the piano strings, and that’s what made it sound like a guitar was blaring every other beat and like she was off key. She’s also fine with it because she got In and Out after. Goals.
Sofia Vergara Did A Thing
Believe it or not, Sofia Vergara helped close out the Grammys. Backstory: Pitbull made a surprise appearance at Sofia’s wedding to Joe Manganiello last year by performing a few songs at their reception. I’m assuming to help pay him back, she agreed to dress up as a Taxi and dance around the stage during his performance. So, that happened.
Taylor’s Got It Made In the Shade
If you’ve been following the Kanye drama over the past week (there’s a lot so it’s fair if you haven’t), you know that he name dropped Taylor in his new song Famous. He says, “I feel like me and Taylor might still have sex / I made that bitch famous.” Long story short, Kanye isn’t apologizing and Taylor responded for the first time by throwing the most shade to him in her acceptance speech for Album of the Year. Like, if you need to describe to someone what shade is (which I’ve had to do), this speech is the textbook definition of it. PS: Remember the time Taylor thought she won Album of the Year in 2014 because “Red” sounds a lot like “Random Access Memories” by Daft Punk?? STILL FUNNY.
Saved the best for last. While I think Kendrick had the best *awards show performance*, the cast of Hamilton had their own revolutionary performance in a different way. We both had a lot of feelings before the cast performed the opening number, Alexander Hamilton, live from the Richard Rodgers theater in NY, and one of those feelings had to do with the fact that it was the first time the cast has performed a full song on TV. We were going to be in the room where it happens, only if for a few minutes. It was just as beautiful and moving as I had imagined. And of course, to top it all off, they won Best Musical Theater Album (obviously. this category is usually relegated for the pre-telecast!) and Lin didn’t disappoint with yet another acceptance speech rap. That also made me cry. I’ve never been so proud of a group of people I’ve never met before than this cast. WEPAAAA
It’s Anna Howard Shaw DaySingle’s Awareness Day Valentine’s Day this Sunday, which means a few things:
Single folks are ignoring the holiday by drowning in alcohol
Those with significant others are forced to talk to each other at some kind of romantic outing
Kids are handing out paper valentines and candy to brown paper bags taped to desks at school
But what happens when single and taken adults want to hand out paper valentines to their friends IRL? They create memes that look like old school valentines using their favorite fictional characters and comic sans and post it on the World Wide Web. This time of year is one of my favorites to monitor on the Internet to see what kind of kooky things people come up with. Here are some of the best fandom valentines from the Internet’s virtual brown paper bag. Consider it our gift to you.
after years circulating online, maybe this will be the year this card becomes irrelevant.
just because bill nye was part of your childhood doesn’t mean he doesn’t have sex. or is a badass.
paula’s cutting down with the unsalted butter
history isn’t the only thing that has its eyes on you, AMIRITE
Tomorrow, February 11th, will mark the four-year anniversary of Whitney Houston’s passing. And while her death was tragic and it’s certainly sad that we’ll never get to enjoy her sing live again, we’ll always have the tremendous career she left behind so we can never forget her legacy. Among the great projects she left behind is The Bodyguard, a movie that came out in 1992, when I was six years old. Somehow I was never introduced to it growing up, and hence became a pop culture blind spot for me – until recently. Join me as I experience one of Whit’s most beloved roles and unexpectedly fangirl over the pairing of Whitney and Kevin Costner.
Knowledge of this film:
Whitney Houston
Kevin Costner
Kevin is Whitney’s bodyguard
I Will Always Love You
Someone gets shot
Kevin carries Whit somewhere
Is there a reason this font is so big or is it just “1992”?
If Kevin Costner is a bodyguard, why is he shooting randos in a sketchy garage? I have questions already. It’s the first scene.
Kevin Costner eats his dinner out of a pot with a wooden spoon like a savage. He’s also setting up to be a classic tale of man who *cue movie trailer guy* “has the perfect job but the one thing missing from his life – is love”
Had no idea Whit’s name was Rachel.
Kev is just too cool for school. He’s sitting in his backyard, wearing his hoodie and Ray Bans and throwing knives at a wooden pole. Dare to dream.
#goals
This movie was made in 1992 and the cars looks straight out of 1989. Ok, I guess not that much older.
Rachel’s mansion looks like The Great Gatsby’s house (Leo DiCap version).
Rachel’s intercom isn’t working but Frank is let in anyways – like obviously she needs Frank because security is in poor form already. She’s a celebrity – she needs her intercom to be working.
Rachel’s apparently filming a music video inside her house, which, I mean, why??? That’s what studios are for.
As she sits in a chair watching the dancers rehearse, it’s immediately sad knowing that this film is some kind of weird hyper reality for Whit, and makes me really sad. But then – Frank and Rachel meet for the first time:
AND I’M ALREADY SHIPPING IT THEY HAVE SO MUCH CHEMISTRY
The only other movie I saw Whit act in was Cinderella, and that’s a much more lighthearted movie than this. In The Bodyguard, she’s showing off her dramatic talents – that I’ve never witnessed before – and I’m so impressed with her skills already.
Whoever this cute kid with the boat is is the MOST adorable. I think it’s Rachel’s son? AND ALSO HE’S VERY HOT NOW. HBM STATUS TO THE MAX
Rachel has been receiving death threats via mail. This is probably why Frank got hired in the first place.
“Reagan got shot.”
“Not on my shift.” Frank Farmer, Bodyguard to the stars.
Some creep broke in and masturbated on the bed???? Honestly what is wrong with her team for not taking more security precautions earlier. ALSO, I don’t trust Sy. He’s troublesome. I don’t trust any of these folks.
THIS IS SOME PLL -A SHIT RIGHT HERE
Henry is holding a Koosh ball. I guess it is 1992.
They’re installing better security for her house (e.g. an intercom that works, a gate, cameras etc.) but like why hasn’t this happened sooner I don’t understand.
Who is Boat Kid’s baby daddy?? BTW Boat Kid’s name is Fletcher, but Boat Kid is much better.
Nicki, Rachel’s sister, used to be a duo act with Rach, but stepped aside to let her be a star. Is it Selena (y los Dinos) situation?
Again, Rach’s team has been receiving *ransom notes* but a) they’ve been hiding it from Rach b) they haven’t sent it to the police until now?
Ok, I should know this but is The Bodyguard soundtrack just all Whit songs? (the answer is yes, it’s amazing).
Some car followed Rachel’s limo but none of Rach’s people except Kev noticed – again, how? Her entire team sucks. Prediction: it will be her downfall.
There was an intense car chase and Frank legit jumped off a cliff and rolled onto pavement. Action hero shit.
There’s a dog that belongs to someone who lives in this house but doesn’t move at all. I feel like he’s going to become integral to saving someone’s life later on.
“Tuesday morning brunch? Where’d you get this guy, Bill?” Sy, you’re a douche.
Why does it look like Rachel is shopping in a thrift store? She’s trying on clothes behind a curtain that doesn’t go all the way up.
“Never mix business with pleasure” Rachel foreshadowing them gettin it onnnnnn
Why is Frank sitting in the dark and watching a Rachel Marron music video? Maybe he’s doing research on his client?
Oh yes, another thing I know about this movie is Whit’s hood costume. Legit is this Pretty Little Liars?
Frank gives Rachel a secret cross item that will signal her being in trouble. She will use this, no doubt. In this scene and probably again later.
There are so many people waiting for Rachel at this club, like surrounding the entrance. *RANT ON HOW CELEBRITY IS DIFFERENT THAN IT WAS IN 1992*
I am so annoyed with these fans surrounding her dressing room door. This looks like that Rockumentary episode of Saved by the Bell where Casey Kasem does a fake rock doc of the gang’s band, who have a total of two hits and are the biggest act in the world.
Frank tries to stop Rachel from performing, and he has a point. It’s probably because of the world we live in today, but with Rachel out on stage with a lot of fans in the audience, I’m expecting someone to just shoot her. Horrible, I know, but seriously.
How has she been wearing this outfit under the cape? The entire time?
Rach gets crowd surfed and it’s like, I mean Frank warned you. But also these fans are insane. Get a fucking grip.
Aw Frank is so tender with Rach. He just wants her safe, not because it’s his job, but because he’s starting to care for her as a person. I. AM. INTO. IT.
Rachel: Aren’t you going to ask me why I behave like that?
Frank: I know why.
Why are you eating an apple like you’re fucking George Washington, Frank?
*not george washington, but you get the idea*
Tony starts a fight with Frank in the kitchen (while he’s still eating an apple) but like, again, why? Because he left him at the club by accident?
FRANK IS LIKE BRUH DONT EVEN TRY TO FUCK W ME AND THROWS A KNIFE BY HIS EAR. IT IS HILARIOUS.
Whit’s rockin a scrunchie with her jogging suit and I appreciate that. But again, it’s 1992, so it’s par for the course.
Rach is straight up asking Frank out on a date. I respect that.
MAYBE IT’S NICKI.
AGAIN – how the fuck is this stalker getting into Rachel’s house??
OK I TOTALLY CALLED THIS GUY WHEN HE TRIED TO GET IN FRONT OF HER AT THE CONCERT
Rachel: Well, he didn’t look like he wanted to die to me.
Frank: There’s a big difference between wanting to die and having no fear of death.
They walk down the sidewalk.
Rachel: And because he had no fear of death, he was invincible?
Frank: What do you think?
Rachel: Well, he sure creamed ’em all in the end.
Rach and Frank are on a date and at the Graumann’s Chinese Theater, which is the exact place you DON’T want to be at as a high-profile celeb.
HOLY CRAP THE BODYGUARD IS JUST THE MUSIC VIDEO FOR LUCKY
How are people not noticing Rachel at this bar in Hollywood? Actually I’m assuming it’s in Hollywood, but IDK it could be Reseda (that’s a special niche joke for you LA folk).
Rach’s making a joke about Frank’s ex being killed while he was protecting her. Oh man he’s gonna be so fucked up when she dies (does she die?!?). He was JKing. BUT ALSO FORESHADOWING (no, but is it I have no idea).
Some extra who looks like Randy Quaid just stared down the barrel of the camera and broke the fourth wall it’s absolutely jarring.
Oh man I Will Always Love You is playing while Frank and Rach are slow dancing and OH MY GOD HAVE SEX ALREDAYYY
“So is this a full service date, Frank?” CAN U NOT
Frank’s really got a thing with orange juice. WHAT DOES THIS MEAN?
His basement looks like where a stalker would keep his lair dedicated to Rachel.
This is dangerous with the sword. This is how somebody dies.
Literally exclaimed OH YEAH when they started kissing. I’M INVOLVED NOW.
Frank seems like he’s so into protecting Rachel (see: making her house akin to Fort Knox) but he already broke the rules – he’s been working for her for like a week. And now they’re sleeping together? I mean I’m not complaining. But.
Ugh Frank don’t be rude to Rachel the morning after. He says, “You didn’t do anything. It was me. I involved myself with my client.” You may be working for her but after you’ve had sex, don’t make it sound like prostitution.
Boat Kid (Fletcher) is wearing a windbreaker. Oh to be a 90s kid again.
Rachel got nominated for Best Actress? What movie was she even in?
Police are sweeping the hotel Rachel is staying in, thank God finally they’re taking action.
“Rachel: Quit bitching, Farmer. This is the part you do get paid for.”
SANG WHITNEY. I’M POURING ONE OUT RN.
The top of the hotel is lighting up with Rachel’s name it’s a bit excessive.
Tony sees himself on TV and he’s clearly more interested in fame than the job.
Rach is hitting on Frank’s security guard friend. Out of spite. Come on, you should be better than this.
THIS CHICK:
Frank goes to Rachel’s suite and she’s gone and so is Tony – but they went out shopping. Like fucking tell your people.
The stalker calls Rachel and she thinks its Fletcher and it sounds like:
Rach asks Frank for his help because she realizes the stalker is real. Fucking finally.
I’m watching this with my friend Jennie, and she prefaces the next scenes with “There’s a sub plot coming out of left field” cut to: snow capped mountain.
Frank’s taking her to meet his dad?!!?!?!?!?! Hometown date came quickly. THIS IS SERIOUS.
Oh hey Nicki. Forgot you existed.
“Fletcher can’t swim very well.” *gets in the boat*
Fletcher’s gonna die.
Frank wasn’t with Reagan because he as at his mom’s funeral and THAT’S why he feels guilty.
Frank spends a lot of time drinking and looking out of windows pensively.
Rachel tugs on the back of Frank’s hot sweater and I WILL GO DOWN WITH THIS SHIP
The dog is the guard for Rachel’s door literally taking place of Tony. lolz
Nicki’s trouble. She kisses Frank and he’s all like no thanks bye. She’s gonna go crazy.
Nicki can’t even have a solo without Rachel coming to harmonize with her.
Frank notices footsteps in the snow that belong to a human and they notice BOAT KID WHO CAN’T SWIM is in the boat by himself and Frank running to fletch to get himo ff them boat but knocks him off HE CAN’T SWIM and after theyre onthe dock THE FUCKING BOAT EXPLODES WHAT EVEn
“How are we gonna get the boat back?” Who cares about the fucking boat?!?
How did this stalker know they’re in the Cabin in the Woods. It’s an inside job. TONY??? IS TONY FEEDING THE STAKLER INFO???
I feel like Frank’s going to accidentally shoot someone, and that someone is going to be Rachel. I have a lot of theories. Only some of them are plausible.
Armando “arranged” it with Nicki’s help? Nicki paid someone to kill her sister? I forgot who Armando is.
Ugh this is stressful. Nicki GOT SHOT
Frank has to use a phone booth but Sy has a cell phone? I feel like the bodyguard to the star should have priority just incase SOMEONE WITH A GUN TRIES TO KILL HER.
I mean it’s sad that Nicki died but like, also, karma a little?
Frank to Fletcher: “Everybody’s afraid of something, Fletcher. That’s how we know we care about something, when we’re afraid we’ll lose it.”
Apparently Fletcher has since learned how to swim.
Um I hate that I heard the voice of Chris Connelly from MTV and totally called it before seeing his face.
my childhood
TOBY IS IN THIS???? WE WERE JUST TALKING ABOUT CHARLIE IN THE GARDEN
Tony’s drunk. FUCKING DO YOUR GD JOB TONY
Why does everyone have earrings that weight 10 pounds each
The girl subbing for Rachel performing I Have Nothing at the Oscars is horrible.
I FEEL STRESSED. SOMETHING IS BOUND TO HAPPEN HERE.
Frank is going to take a bullet for Rachel. I’m saying this now. I cannot. MY HEART IS RACING.
Rachel goes on stage to present an award but she runs off because she thinks the envelope is a threatening letter from her stalker. AGAIN, THE STRESS.
Oh so the creepy stalker guy was just a creepy stalker then??
Rachel blames her paranoia on Frank, because he’s worried she’s about to get killed, but she misplaces her anger on him and gets mad and ughhh
Oh no I’m like physically ill Rachel won for best actress and (another bodyguard) Portman is the hitman and he’s acting as a cameraman. Shit is GOING DOWN.
GUYS I JUST SPENT THE LAST 20 MINUTES CRYING AND NOT TYPING IT’S FINE.
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Cookies + Sangria 