Author Archives: Traci

Things We Need to Revisit From Super Bowl 50

Posted in Entertainment, Miscellany by

Last night, millions of Americans tuned in to watch Beyonce take over the field the Denver Broncos beat the Carolina Panthers. The Super Bowl is the U.S.’s most unofficial national holiday, but to me, it’s a free concert surrounded by some football riff raff. But, since I’m not a quitter, and have a bit of FOMO, I still “watched” the game from the comfort of my work office. There were definitely some highlights and lowlights of the Super Bowl, so it’s only fitting that we do a post-mortem on it and revisit a few things that need to have our attention again. And it’s worth noting that surprisingly, a majority of these things have absolutely nothing to do with football.

Tom Brady Lit’rally Missing the Mark

Because it’s the 50th Super Bowl, the NFL had to be all nostalgic and whatnot, so before the game, they had a ceremony honoring the 43 game MVPs of the past. Among them was New England Patriots QB and polarizing athlete Tom Brady. Deflategate and all. First of all, each MVP had to come out, stand on the yellow dot on the field, wave to the crowd then join the others on the side. Tom lit’rally missed the mark and just walked out and waved then joined the MVPs. To make things worse, he got booed by the crowd of Broncos and Panthers fans. I have a lot of friends from New England, so I’m not going to comment (I also have no opinion, really) but I mean, yikes.

Clear Eyes, Full Hearts, Can’t Lose

Hey, remember when Scott Porter (Jason Street) posted this FNL reunion pic from one of his football parties and everyone freaked out? I feel like we also need to freak out about this picture of Street and Lance/Landry from yesterday’s game. Dear people who run next year’s Super Bowl (NFL, I guess? lol), stage a FNL reunion at the game and you’ll get a lot of publicity. I mean, not like the Super Bowl needs it, but still.

SLAYDAY GAGA

Believe it or not, there are still people who aren’t aware that Stefani Germanotta is actually a really great, trained singer and not just a woman who wears a meat dress to the VMAs. So for those expecting her to look ridiculous and make a spectacle of the National Anthem were shit out of luck because Gaga showed off her impressive vocal talents and didn’t go over the top with her runs. It was pretty much perfect, so just watch the entire performance again.

Is This Not Grease 2: Live

This fellow’s name is Jonathan Stewart and when he scored a touchdown for the Panthers, his dance involved the hand jive. For those of us who were tweeting #GreaseLive all of a week ago, we had hope Aaron Tveit and Vanessa Hudgens would suddenly appear at the Super Bowl.

That Independence Day Trailer

The trailer for the Independence Day sequel aired during the Super Bowl, and props to the marketing team for this one – the first shot is an aerial shot of a crowded football stadium and someone is singing the National Anthem (a female pop star?) in the background. Then havoc ensues. Too real. I got chills.

Stealth The Wire Reunion

No, Idris Elba wasn’t involved, unfortunately. This Wire mini-reunion is from S2, the dockworkers played by Pablo Schreiber and Chris Bauer, who use a Prius as a getaway car after robbing a bank. So, like, the same thing as The Wire.

Salty Brother

I’m not a football aficionado or anything, but here’s the situation as I know it. Peyton Manning, QB for the Broncos played in the Super Bowl for what could be his last game before retiring. His younger brother, Giants QB Eli Manning was not playing in the Super Bowl, but watching from a box with his family. They cut to the Manning family after Peyton made some kind of successful play, and Eli didn’t look thrilled. Personally, I think he just looks stressed on behalf of his brother, but others are thinking he’s hating his life and jealous of his bro. Whatever you want to believe.

Super Bowl Babies

Just, no. I don’t like this. Is it even a thing? Or did the NFL just make it up? But they got people to talk about it, so mission accomplished.

Live Your Best Life

This guy doesn’t know who Coldplay is, doesn’t know who Mark Ronson is, doesn’t know who Bruno Mars is. Vaguely familiar with Beyonce because she’s been on The Oprah Winfrey Show.

Beyonce and Friends

Here’s one thing I know about the Chris Martin and Coldplay – they must be REALLY REALLY nice, kind-hearted people to invite Beyonce on stage to make an appearance at their headlining half-time show at the Super Bowl, because the moment she walks on stage, it’s the Beyonce and Friends show.

Bow Down Bitches

Beyonce. Shuttin’ it down. Getting the fuck back up again. All day. Every day. Watching on loop.

Confused Cookie

Oh Taraji. She was just living her life, enjoying the Super Bowl as one does, and accidentally thought Coldplay was Maroon 5. It’s fine. She realized her mistake and deleted the tweet. We all make mistakes. all white people look alike anyways.

Gotta Get That Free Pizza Tho

I don’t know enough about this friendship, but why is Papa John of Papa John’s one of the only people Peyton reaches out to hug right after winning the Super Bowl? I’m as confused as Taraji.

 

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Wiki-Wiki-Whattt? : OJ Simpson Key Player Facts I Learned Online

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Show of hands for everyone who watched The People v. O.J. Simpson: American Crime Story on Tuesday night?? Great. Most of you. You’re not alone. 5.1 million viewers also watched the premiere of the latest true crime addiction, and guys, it’s worth it. People from their late 20s up probably remember the OJ Simpson case clearly, since it was covered by the media in excess from 1994 to 1995. As for me, I don’t necessarily remember being glued to the trial since I was nine years old, but I do remember my 4th grade social studies teacher Ms. Reinhardt bringing in one of those TVs on a large rolling cart on October 3rd, 1995, the day the verdict came out. I remember her saying something akin to, “This is an important moment in U.S. history, we’re going to watch this.” And we did. And she was right. 20 years later, America is still compelled to the story, and it’s just as intriguing as ever.

But seeing as how we were kids when this first came into the public eye, I didn’t exactly understand or know all the facts. I also didn’t care enough to do more research on the people with Encarta. But now that the Internet exists, specifically Wikipedia, finding facts about this case and the folks in it is as easy as pie. While I was watching Tuesday’s episode, I was switching between Wiki and IMDb needing more info. Here are some surprising facts about the key players in the OJ Simpson trial that I found out thanks to my extensive Internet research. What a time to be alive.

Robert Shapiro

Role in Case: OJ Simpson’s defense lawyer

Played by: John Travolta

Wiki-Wiki-What?: Is the co-founder of ShoeDazzle.com, an online fashion subscription service that you probably know from annoying pop-ups on your Internet journey. He is also the voice of, and pictured in, the TV commercials for LegalZoom, the online legal technology company he co-founded in 2001.

Johnnie Cochran

Role in Case: OJ Simpson’s defense lawyer

Played by: Courtney B. Vance

Wiki-Wiki-What?: A month after his victory with OJ, Johnnie scored another big legal win with another high-profile client – Tupac Shakur. In early 1995, Tupac had been sentenced to 1 1/2 to 4 1/2 years at New York’s Riker’s Island prison stemming from a 1993 sexual assault case. Thanks to Johnnie’s help, Tupac was released after Death Row Records execs put up some of the $1.4 million bail. Tupac would be killed a year later.

Robert Kardashian

Role in Case: OJ Simpson’s defense lawyer/ BFF

Played by: David Schwimmer

Wiki-Wiki-What?: He definitely doesn’t have any famous family members LOLOL Ok but frreal,in 1973, Robert co-founded a trade publication called Radio & Records that provided news and airplay information for the radio and music industries. It was used as a ref for a number of countdown shows throughout the years, including Casey Kasem’s American Top 40, Solid Gold, and Rick Dees Weekly Top 40. It was relaunched as a sister trade to Billboard and had its final issue in 2009.

F. Lee Bailey

Role in Case: OJ Simpson’s defense lawyer

Played by: Nathan Lane

Wiki-Wiki-What?: He served as the defense lawyer for Patty Hearst in 1976, when the 19-year-old newspaper heiress was on trial for committing armed bank robberies under the control of the Symbionese Liberation Army (cray revolutionary/terrorist group). They kidnapped her, sexually assaulted and brainwashed her, hence the robberies.  Bailey failed to win the case, and Patty was sentenced to seven years in prison. Almost two years later, President Carter commuted her sentence and in 2001 she was pardoned by Bill Clinton.

Nicole Brown Simpson

Role in Case: Victim

Played by: Kelly Dowdle

Wiki-Wiki-What?: Nicole first met OJ when she was 18 and working as a waitress at upscale Beverly Hills/Rodeo Drive nightclub Daisy. He was still married to his first wife Marguerite when they started dating and he subsequently divorce Marguerite two years after meeting Nicole.

Ron Goldman

Role in Case: Victim

Played by:  Jake Koeppl

Wiki-Wiki-What?: He occassionally worked as a nightclub promoter throughout Los Angeles, and also worked as a waiter and had aspirations to be an actor. In 1992, he appeared as a contestant on the short-lived game show Studs (this clip is fabulously 90s), which was basically a dating show with hot guys (Jon Hamm and Chris Hardwick were also contestants on said show).

Marcia Clark

Role in Case: Lead prosecutor

Played by: (The amazing) Sarah Paulson

Wiki-Wiki-What?: Marcia played District Attorney Sidney Barnes in a 2013 episode of Pretty Little Liars called Now You See Me, Now You Don’t. She gives the good news to Hanna’s mom that the murder charge against her (for killing Detective Wilden) were dropped after the real killer was identified. I watch PLL and I don’t remember this. Apparently Marcia’s a big PLL fan.

Christopher Darden

Role in Case: Deputy DA, Marcia Clark’s co-counsel

Played by: Sterling K. Brown

Wiki-Wiki-What?: In 1997, Christopher married Marcia Carter, who was the vice president and corporate controller of Rysher Entertainment, a TV and movie production and distribution company. You might be familiar with the company if you stayed through the end title credits of shows like Saved by the Bell, Star Search or Sex and the City.

Judge Lance Ito

Role in Case: Judge in the trial

Played by: Kenneth Choi

Wiki-Wiki-What?: After apparently meeting on the v romantic setting of an Eagle Rock, California murder scene, he married Margaret Ann York, the first woman to attain the rank of Deputy Chief in the LAPD, making her the highest-ranking woman officer in that department when she retired in 2002.

Paula Barbieri

Role in Case: OJ’s girlfriend at the time of the murders

Played by: Angie Patterson

Wiki-Wiki-What?: OJ and Nicole divorced in 1992, and he had been dating the model/actress for a while until the morning of the murders, she allegedly left OK a 30-minute long message on his answering machine to break up with him. She said in the voicemail that she was flying to Las Vegas to be with Michael Bolton – yes that Michael Bolton. They had met on the set of his 1994 music video for the song Completely, and apparently fell in love? Well doesn’t matter because she stuck by OJ’s side for a while until she couldn’t take the pressure of the murder trial anymore.

Kato Kaelin

Role in Case: Witness/friend of OJ and Nicole/lived in OJ’s guest house at the time of the murders

Played by: Billy Magnussen

Wiki-Wiki-What?: Following the trial, he made a number of appearances, including the very first episode of MADtv, and Mr. Show with Bob and David. He was also randomly BFFs with SNL alum Norm Macdonald.

 

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It’s Beginning To Look A Lot Like Stars Hollow

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Guys, we did it. WE ALL DID IT. The Gilmore Girls revival, tentatively titled Gilmore Girls: Seasons, is confirmed, official, and currently in production – starting TODAY. Let’s go back a bit to October, when Patron Saint of GG news, Michael Ausiello, broke the news that a revival was in the works (check out our original thoughts on it in our town meeting here). Months passed by with no one (Netflix, Amy Sherman-Palladino, cast members, etc.) confirming any of it. Not a damn thing. As silent as Mr. Kim.

Late December, pictures started popping up from the WB lot of the reconstruction of Luke’s, prop pieces that said pick up for 1/11/16, and the real kicker – a Backstage.com listing for production. In between, cast members hinted that there was truth to the reports (Keiko, Milo *not YET*). In my mind, I knew it was happening, but I just needed confirmation. I needed this:

WE ALL NEEDED THIS. The tears came flooding back on Friday with LG’s tweet + subsequent posts from our boy Scott, Yanic (Michel), Keiko (Lane), and Sean (Kirk), Rose (Gypsy), Tanc (Finn) and Liza/Paris (via Kelly Bishop accidentally saying she’s in it), who’ve all confirmed they’re coming back. Oh and composer Sam Phillips, the creator of the La Las that you’re familiar with, is also coming back. Thank God (sidenote: I’m creepily taking notes of all the revival updates like a crazy person. Let me know if you want in on the insane person’s newsletter). Then, Ausiello, being the godsent that he is, managed to score the first interview with LG after their first table read (*SCREAMS INTERNALLY & EXTERNALLY), and it is one of the best things I’ve ever read in my life, article or not. Seriously, read it.

When I walked onto the set for the first time. We had to do a camera test and… the house. [She gets choked up] It’s on a different stage but it’s… the house. Alexis [Bledel] and I walked onto the set together and — I feel super emotional about a lot of it and I’m afraid I’m going to start crying at every turn — but walking onto that set really felt like something. It felt like a lot of time had passed and it felt like we were just there. It felt amazing.

*Cue waterworks* I’m basically just going to cry with every tweet, article, and picture posted re: GG Revival moving forward (BTW, read these interviews from Ausiello with Kelly and ASP for more tears, and Scott sans Ausiello talking about becoming Mr. Backwards Baseball Cap again). You know what else made me cry? Going onto the GG set at Warner Bros. WITH the GG sets up (or at least in the process of being put back up).

After I found out production was starting on February 2nd, I knew I had to go on the WB tour to see the sets before then, figuring my chances would be slimmer of seeing the GG sets if I went when they were in production. In full disclosure, I had been on the tour thrice before, and it wasn’t even until the third time that I got to see Stars Hollow/any GG sets. If they’re filming on a certain part of the lot, the tours aren’t allow to go anywhere near it, which is why it took three times before I saw the town square. Me and my two GG-loving friends went on about two Saturdays ago hoping we’d see more GG goodness IRL. Luckily, Grease: Live! hadn’t completely taken over yet – although we did get to see parts of it:

under that black tent is the front of Rydell High. The building to the right of it is the front of Stars Hollow High and currently Rosewood High from Pretty Little Liars.

And, I didn’t know this at the time, but Lorelai and Rory’s house was getting prepped to become Sandy’s house in Grease (where she sings Hopelessly Devoted to You). See: green and white bench on porch.

Photo Jan 23, 11 46 23 AM

BUT ALSO, THIS WAS MY FIRST TIME AT THE GILMORE HOUSE. We forced our tour guide to drive us to their house, because in full disclosure, he wasn’t planning on showing it to us and told us another house around the corner was the Gilmore house (it wasn’t. we’re not new. we know things). Anyways, he let us out of the tram (no one else cared about it but us) to take pix, and we proceeded to freak out.

Photo Jan 23, 11 46 38 AM (1)

Obviously they were dressing the house for Grease, so I’m sure they’re already halfway done with making it back into the Gilmore house, if not completely done by now.

Another angle of the house, because why not

Here is the Gilmore garage, home of the Hug-A-World, Hep Alien rehearsals, and naked Kirk in Luke’s dad’s boat.

Fun fact: on the front side of the Gilmore house is Sookie and Jackson’s house. I just realized that if Melissa McCarthy doesn’t end up doing the revival (and per ASP, there’s a pretty good chance she won’t?), that probably means Jackson won’t be in it either (?), which would be a bummer. Unless they have him in it and just never show Sookie? ASP says in that article they explain her absence, so maybe she’s off at a cooking school or something, and Jackson is in Stars Hollow taking care of all their kids? Although that would be shitty of her too. Ugh. Either way, I’m hoping Melissa can do at least one of the “episodes”.

Photo Jan 23, 11 06 19 AM

Moving right along, next door to Sookie and Jackson’s is Kim’s Antiques. 58 seats and 62 Koreans. Also, it’s Emily’s house in PLL and also the former Gellar house in Friends, particularly in TOW The Prom Video, where we see a young, curly-haired Ross devastated after finding out he wouldn’t be saving the day and taking Rachel to prom.

Photo Jan 23, 11 07 32 AM

Just before getting to Stars Hollow (think of it as going to Hartford), there’s an area that’s lined with suburban-like houses, including this one, which was Christopher’s house as seen in S5 E11, Women of Questionable Morals. Rory and Lorelai separately show up to his house to console him about his father’s passing, Rory brings milk & cookies, Lor brings adult milk & cookies, fucks it up later by not telling Luke about it. Drama ensues. This is also Hanna’s house on PLL.

Photo Jan 23, 10 57 13 AM

Ok now we venture back into Stars Hollow! Here we see the famous church (sometimes temple) home to a funeral, a couple weddings, a baptism, a break-in by Luke & Lorelai, and the town loner yelling akin to, “Stop the noodle scooz” in rebellion of… something.
Photo Jan 23, 11 07 44 AM

imagine the gazebo sits right in the middle. also imagine the final scene in grease: live because that’s exactly where they danced in the middle of the carnival.

And here’s where it starts to resemble OG Stars Hollow, also this is when tears started to appear in my eyes, because, emotion.

Photo Jan 23, 11 00 49 AM

Doose’s, the book store, a random car

There was nothing inside Doose’s, but it was clearly under construction. I’m sure Taylor is keeping an eye on it.

This street leads to nowhere. However that blue building does still house Sophie’s (Carole King’s) music shop!

Alright folks here’s when the revival excitement really kicked in. As previously mentioned, I had seen pictures of Luke’s diner being rebuilt but to see it with my own eyes was a whole different ball game.

I didn’t realize until later that the Jeep in the corner is eerily a lot like Lorelai’s Jeep, but it’s not. BUT LET’S PRETEND.

You can’t really tell from this picture, but inside the shelving is all back – the wall by the kitchen filled with mugs is back up and the window into Taylor’s ice cream shoppe was there, and a sure sign of Luke’s – those weird half-curtains in the window.

True story: my friend told me and my friend Jennie to pose for a pic as we slowly drove by Luke’s for the first time, but I was impatient and wanted to get pix on my own camera. Hence I am mid-hairflip in excitement and Jennie fell asleep. BUT LOOK INSIDE!!

Taylor’s place is shaping up nicely

Miss Patty’s got a fresh coat of paint. They actually filmed all the town meetings inside this.. building (?) and not on a separate sound stage, so it was particularly annoying in the LA heat when they were all holed up in there for hours with hot lights and a room full of actors.

We did manage to convince our tour guide to take us by the gazebo, which was again, not in the middle of the square yet because of the Rydell High carnival. Please note: Gazebo Parking Only.

ok, i’m not sure if this information is correct, but i’m pretty sure we saw Gilmore Girls parking signs right outside Stage 19, and possibly other sets being built inside. Cannot confirm this, but let’s just say this is where they’re shooting the revival. EDIT: a second source also confirmed stage 19 was where they were rebuilding the Dragonfly horse stables! And i def remember seeing that!

Last night, I took a route home that passes right by the WB lot, knowing full well I wouldn’t be able to see anything with a nighttime drive-by. But I was thinking how it must feel like Christmas Eve to so many of the returning cast and crew, to go back to something that meant so dear to them but never fully had a chance to find some closure. It also got me thinking of the personal path it took me from first starting my obsession with GG over 10 years ago to now, living minutes away from where Stars Hollow is, and all of it is just so overwhelming. To some people this revival is just another reboot of people sick for nostalgia, but for fans, it is that but so much more. It’s personal, it’s emotional, it’s a cozy blanket that makes you feel safe and comfortable. So today, and for the rest of this year leading up to its release, I have no shame in following every step on this GG revival journey. Where you lead, I will follow.

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Made in ’86

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I usually don’t like announcing this, but today is my birthday. I have officially existed on this earth for 30 years. Hold your applause. 30 is supposed to be a milestone birthday – and it is – however I don’t really feel any different than I did yesterday (do we ever feel different when we celebrate a birthday?). It’s like prom – you build it up in your head for years, then you get there and realize it’s just another lame school dance. Do I feel young? Yes. Do I feel old? Yes. I feel all the things, y’all. But I want to share this day with you, our precious, noble, land mermaid readers, who should be able to feel all the feels I’m feeling and feel them deep in your soul. What am I even saying IDK I’m senile now.

Here are some things you may or may not realize are sharing the same milestone with me (and Molly) this year. So get in your Urkel time machine and travel back to 1986 with me, won’t you?

Pixar Animation Studios open

Pixar’s been making you laugh and cry simultaneously for years, but it officially started in ’86, when the Graphics Group, part of the computer division of George Lucas’ Lucasfilm, parted ways and became its own corporation with Apple. 20 years later, Disney bought it for about $7.4 billion. BILLION. Pixar’s first short film was Luxo Jr., which features one large and one small desk lamp, which might look familiar to you because they’re now Pixar’s logo. Luxo Jr. even became the first CGI film to be nominated for an Oscar, and is still better than a lot of movies I’ve seen in the past few years *ahem*Focus*ahem*

Geraldo Rivera Gets Mooneshine’d

I don’t really know why I thought this, but up until just before typing this sentence, I totally thought in my head Geraldo opened Al Capone’s tomb. All these years, I thought he went to his underground grave (?) and discovered nothing? Well opening Al Capone’s Secret Vault makes SO much more sense than opening Al Capone’s Grave. Anyways, Geraldo hosted this two-hour live TV special that got a lot of hype before it aired. Geraldo was expecting a treasure trove of items, and maybe even bodies (seriously, there was a medical examiner there) or piles of money. However, when he got into the secret vaults, the only things inside were dirt and several empty bottles – including one with moonshine (which makes sense, since he was a total rebel during the Prohibition Era). Even with the epic fail, it became one of the most-watched syndicated TV specials in history with about 30 million viewers tuning in to see an empty vault.

L. Ron Hubbard Succumbs To Lava

Note: L. Ron Hubbard didn’t actually die in lava, he had a stroke and died a week later. LRH had a whole shitload of health problems towards the end of his life, including weight gain, chain smoking (his teeth were disgusting), a “prominent growth on his forehead”, and suffered chronic pancreatitis. Actually, he was struggs real hard starting in the 1970s, when he faced a bunch of legal trouble, including in France, where he and the French Church of Scientology were convicted (in absentia) of fraud and customs violations. He went into hiding, living in disguise in New York then on his Sea Org fleet, and spent the last two years of his life in a luxury motorhome on a ranch in California. If you have time, just do more research on his life. It’s facsinating. He also had a son who committed suicide??

Tom Cruise Debuts Top Gun

Unrelated from Scientology, Top Gun was the top grossing movie of 1986, making over $353 million in the box office. It also marked Tom Cruise’s mark as a superstar in Hollywood with a blockbuster movie. I saw this for the first time last year and I totally got why he became such a huge heartthrob and bonafide movie star with Top Gun. Despite how kuckoo banana pants he may be now, this movie is prove that he deserves to be a star.

Disney Channel Kicks Off

It’s weird to think about now, but there was a time when TV networks just stopped progamming in the middle of the night because no one watched it, thus they saved money this way. The Disney Channel started as a premium cable network (like HBO, Showtime, etc.) in 1983, and in 1986, it went from having daily programming from 7am to 1am to 24 hours a day. That means more Disney movies, DCOMs, OG shows like Kids Incorporated and The All-New Mickey Mouse Club (yes, that MMC with Brit, JT, Ryan, Xtina, and more). I didn’t get DChan in my house until I was in middle school, which explains why I retroactively liked “kids” shows as a 13 year old.

Oprah Winfrey Begins Her World Domination

Oprah’s talk show roots started with a morning show in Chicago, and it became a hit within the first month. Oprah herself became popular thanks to her role in The Color Purple, so the network decided to take advantage of that and onSeptember 8th, 1986, her The Oprah Winfrey Show went national for the first time. That was the start of what became The Oprah Winfrey Show that went on to become bible for the next 25 years. Fun fact: the topic for Oprah’s premiere should was “How to Marry the Man or Woman of Your Choice”, notably much more different than the topics in her later years.

First 3D Printer is Built

TBH, I didn’t realize the 3D printer wasn’t a thing that was invented like 5 years ago. But what do I know, this dude clearly has had it down since ’86, and has been making plastic hubcaps ever since.

Hands Across America

So Hands Across America is still… interesting to think about. It was a fundraiser for charities serving those in poverty in the U.S. The idea was for as many Americans to hold hands and create a human chain along a path across the country. There were certain cities along the route, from New York City all the way to Long Beach, California, and some notable names at each stop. I mean from President Ronald Reagan to Michael Jackson to John Stamos to David Copperfield, plus 50 Abraham Lincoln impersonators, 54 Elvis impersonators, 2 Disney characters and 3 Star Wars characters. Like, what?? AND they held hands for 15 minutes. FIFTEEN MINUTES. I had trouble holding hands with people in church during the Lord’s Prayer and that lasts about 30 seconds. Do you even talk? What do you do after? Give a slight squeeze then call it a day? So many questions. Either way, the event raised $34 million for charity, and that’s all that matters right?

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The Pros and Cons of BroadwayCon

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If you’re a true theatre nerd, you know that over the weekend, hundreds of Broadway geeks converged at the Hilton Midtown Hotel for the first ever BroadwayCon – which is exactly what it sounds like. Like other fan-centered conventions, this one gathers fans with actors, creators, and behind-the-scenes folk who make Broadway Broadway. Co-founded by Anthony Rapp, of Rent fame, BroadwayCon featured panels from past shows such as the Rent 20th anniversary reunion, current shows like Hamilton, Spring Awakening and Fun Home, to future shows like Waitress, Tuck Everlasting and Disaster! The Musical. There were photobooth and autograph sessions, fan meetups, master classes, dance workshops and of course, plenty of singing.

Before we go any further, I’d like to make it clear that I was not actually there. I am merely a spectator from the World Wide Web. I saw rumblings of #BroadwayCon on Twitter a while ago, and just thought it was some small event in NYC, but I was wrong. After tracking it online all weekend, I’ve come to this conclusion about BroadwayCon – it seems like a mix of pure ecstasy but also the worst nightmare all in one. A whole room full of theatre geeks!!!! But also, a whole room full of theatre geeks :\ Again, before the haters start to hate, I wasn’t there, so I obviously am not an expert on this, it’s all from what I’ve seen on social media. So in saying there, here are so of what I can tell were the pros and cons of the inaugural BroadwayCon.

Pro: The only convention with an opening number

I’ve never been to Comic-Con or any huge convention except for the ATX TV Festival, which is more of a medium sized gathering of TV fans than an exhibition hall filled with thousands of people. But none of these cons have a song and dance opening number. So was I surprised to see that BroadwayCon opened with this? No. My reaction was OF COURSE. I mean, is there any other way to kick off a weekend of Broadway than this?

Con: #TryingTooHard

https://www.tumblr.com/lafayettes-guns/137815016515/oh-god-the-description-of-the-hamilton-meetup-at

We get it, all of us are Hamilton fans, you don’t have to flaunt the “secret language” around.

Pro: The Room Where It Happens

Like any other HamiltonHead (is there even an official name for Hamilton fans? I’m sure there is. Kids under 21, get at me), this panel with most of the main cast was the most anticipated one at the con. Here are some highlights during the panel:

If you could change roles with anybody in the show, who would it be?

Daveed: Angelica
Lin: Lafayette
Renee: Aaron Burr
Philippa: Hercules Mulligan
Chris: Jonathan Groff, he’s onstage for five minutes!
Groffsauce: Angelica
Oak: Angelica
Leslie: Eliza
Lin: I think we have our next Ham4Ham.

How Leslie was approached to join the show:

“I got an email from Lin about two-and-a-half years ago, I guess. The subject was ‘Octoburrfest,’ a delicious pun.”

Lin is a rap teacher who gives pop quizzes daily

“At 15 minutes to curtain, Miranda can be seen trotting his iPod from dressing room to dressing room with his speakers blaring a beat challenging his castmates to cypher at his request.”

Freestyle Love Surpreme

During the panel, the moderator asked if anyone besides Lin, Chris Jackson and Daveed had ever rapped before, but the closed-captioning typist accidentally transcribed “have you ever raped before”. It was quickly changed, but Lin managed to incorporate it in his impromptu freestyle:

Werk

The panel ended with a singalong of The Schuyler Sisters, with the cast happily watching the fans from the stage. It was their rock star moment.

Pro: Your obscure Broadway cosplay will be appreciated

Theater nerds, especially actors, will take up any chance for dressing up and what better place to show off your Fun Home costume that you wore for Halloween that no one got than BroadwayCon? The cosplay at BroadwayCon obviously appeals to a v niche group of fans, which is kind of why I love it.

https://www.instagram.com/p/BA3DITrpBRJ

https://www.instagram.com/p/BA8k3yGrmXw

Pro: And It’s Beginning ToAnd It’s Beginning ToAnd It’s Beginning to Snow

It’s been 20 years since Rent had its debut, and Anthony Rapp gathered as many friends from the OBC and creative team as he could for the “10,514,880 Minutes: How Do You Measure 20 Years of Rent?” panel, including Daphne Rubin Vega (Mimi), Wilson Jermaine Heredia (Angel) and Fredi  Walker-Browne (Joanne). I watched the first bit of this live on Periscope and teared up a bit just thinking about how much of an impact the show has made on me, but all the other RentHeads and the cast and crew themselves. One emotional moment was when Daphne FaceTimed with Jesse L. Martin (Collins) and there was even a mini reunion between him and Wilson :emoji with heart eyes:

Con: The Wrath of Jonas

As you may have heard, or seen out your window, Winter Storm Jonas hit the East Coast hard over the weekend, with all the Broadway shows even canceling their Saturday performances. This led to the actors/guests scheduled to appear at BroadwayCon to also cancel their appearances, which I imagine is a bummer for those looking forward to attending the Hamilton dance workshop or the conversation with Fiddler’s Sheldon Harnick.

Pro: #BlizzardCon

On Saturday, everyone at the con was pretty much snowed in, so it turned into #BlizzardCon. It ended up being a huge blizzard party in the mainstage, complete with random phone calls with Broadway icons. Among the folks who called in but not limited to:

Literally a picture of Patti LuPone in the comfort of her (surprisingly rustic?) palace, while she talks to the hundreds of peasants at BroadwayCon:

https://twitter.com/JoshLJohnston/status/691076975151153152

Pro: Broadway Stars Singing Rando Songs

Unlike a ComicCon where actors show up and screen clips or previews of their upcoming films or TV shows, Broadway stars can actually perform and entertain in front of you. Live! There was a fair share of concerts throughout the weekend, including a “Jukebox” in which fans could vote on which songs the stars could sing, and there was also this mad lib situation in which you get to hear Anthony Rapp sing *a slightly different version* of What You Own.

Con: Fans Singing Rando Songs

Ok, don’t get me wrong, I LOVE a good singalong. I think it would be especially fun if it was from a Broadway show, something like this:

But then there’s the contingent of people, I imagine at BroadwayCon, who are getting up to sing as if it’s an audition. One of the things i dread at events like these are A) stupid comments/questions from the audience and general second hand embarrassment. If I was at this fan karaoke event, I would be anxious every time someone got on the stage, hoping they’d be good, on key and not hamming it up too much. Too stressful. This girl sounds pretty good though!

https://twitter.com/klo143/status/691057581998133250

Con: Like Sutton Foster, BroadwayCon is Younger

Based on what I’ve seen, in looks like the demographic for BroadwayCon are teens in high school and musical theatre majors in college. These are the folks who are excited about seeing the people they’ve been listening to on repeat, seen from the rear mezz, met briefly at the Broadway Flea Market and made fan art for on Tumblr. I’m not saying there’s anything wrong with this, because I was like this as a teen, but as an almost 30 year old, I just can’t. The idea of being around that much energy 24/7 seems exhausting, and I’d just feel out of place. Recapping on my blog from the comfort of my bed 3,000 miles away is just fine by me.

Pro: There’s A Place For Us

In saying that, I think that BroadwayCon itself has been an event a long time coming. I always thought that being a theatre kid meant not being popular or not in the zeitgeist. I certainly didn’t feel like a cool kid at the theatre table during lunch in high school. But when I found out Comic Con was a huge thing for comic book nerds, I saw a whole bunch of different people gather for something I wasn’t particularly interested in, but acknowledged that something portrayed as geeky kind of seemed cool. Now, seeing photos and videos of #BroadwayCon make me think it’s so crazy that people are just as (probably much more) insane about Broadway than I am. These are the nerds who I sat with in the cafeteria. And those teens and MTs need something like this event, where you can connect, learn, and grow a deeper passion for Broadway and the arts in general. So keep up the great work, I can’t wait til next year – I’ll be here trolling the Internet like an old lady.

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Winter Memes Make Me Feel Fine: #WinterStormJonas

Posted in Entertainment by

Bad news East Coast/Mid-Atlantic: Your first real hit of winter is coming, or already here, depending on where you are. Hardest hit areas are expected to reach 2 feet of snow, while some areas might even get the dreaded ice storm. God bless.

Good news for the rest of the world: Said storm has been dubbed “Winter Storm Jonas”, which obviously sent the Internet on a tailspin. If this storm had been named Jonas pre-2005, we would’ve been going on MySpace making Weezer references. But we live in a world where Nick, Joe and Kevin (and bonus Jonas) exist and in a matter of minutes, memes appear on the world wide web comparing the coming blizzard to the sibling trio. It’s times like these that I really appreciate the golden age of the Internet. God bless.

Even Joe got in on the joke

And then, the Jonai on the map memes came (with some excellent hairstyles)

And then some edits with lyrics
https://www.tumblr.com/hearloveinthesilence/137648227843/sounds-like-we-need-an-sos

https://www.tumblr.com/katastrope/137729151285/slippin-into-the-lava

And more fun with photoshop

https://twitter.com/lucypmink/status/689925781305303040

https://twitter.com/JonasConcerts/status/689843485441159168

Then folks who are hoping this storm means the return of the JoBros (and a dad joke for good measure)

https://twitter.com/_BrittBritttt/status/689557998084161537

And finally, when we all recognize who the only JoBro we want storming in on us is…

https://twitter.com/MixPhiladelphia/status/689793476796411905

In summary:

Winter Storm Jonas: Unbearable at first:

Then the winds die down, you’re warm in your snuggie and you realize it’s not that bad:

Finally, the blizzard breaks apart and we all basque in that after storm glow when the city looks as dreamy as ever.

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Chicago Law and Beyond

Posted in Entertainment by

NBC executives hinted last week that they’re toying with adding another series to their Chicago franchise, with Chicago Law. It started with Chicago Fire, then Chicago P.D. and the newest one, Chicago Med. In full disclosure, I actually watch these shows. Well, I started Chicago Fire because Taylor Kinney (and it must’ve been a non-exciting season for new shows?) I don’t watch P.D., but I do watch Med because I’m a sucker for medical dramas. That being said, will I watch Chicago Law if it ever happens? Probably. Why? Because Dick Wolf and company know how to make addicting television. I told myself I’d check out the first three eps of Chicago Fire and here we are four seasons later and it’s still on my lineup.

But when will Dick’s CSI-ness ever stop? Will it, even? I’ve got a few suggestions if they want to expand their slate, and will probably make them millions more than what they already have.

Chicago OB/GYN

The show follows doctors at an all female practice called Ravenswood OB/GYN, where they deal with the ups and downs of helping to bring babies into the world but also having to deliver troubling news to some expectant mothers. Plus there’s inter-office romance and an Ally McBeal-type law firm in the floor below them. If Shay from Chicago Fire were still alive (Spoiler alert?), she would be dating a gal from Ravenswood. It’s like Private Practice, but less Taye Diggs and more Amber Tamblyn.

Chicago Bar Association

No, this show isn’t like the proposed Chicago Law. It’s about the bar owners, employees and frequent customers in Printer’s Row. The group of bars in the area have formed a sort of alliance, since it feels like it’s them against the hundreds of college kids that swarm their bars every weekend starting with Thirsty Thursdays. The unofficial leader of the alliance, Jim Rutnitzki, is a baby boomer that has a big secret he doesn’t have the guts to tell his friends and family.

Chicago Starbucks

So maybe Dick Wolf wouldn’t be able to get the rights to use Starbucks in his show, but just imagine it’s Starbucks but it’s called Bartucks and a new location has just been opened up in the fairly hipster area of Wicker Park. Bartucks employees are face with the challenge of gaining loyalty among the frequent customers who go to local small cafes instead of the corporate greed monster they call Starbucks Bartucks.

ChicagOprah

Ah, the golden days of Oprah headquartered in Chicago. ChicagOprah would follow a fictional Oprah as she builds her empire in the Windy City, while still trying to please everyone (see: season 1 cliffhanger – will the audience actually win cars or is it a fake out?

Chicago L Word

Unlike The L Word, Chicago L Word refers to the subways system in the city, where Subway (L) drivers have to deal with both unruly and over enthusiastic riders every single day. A group of L train drivers gather after work in a secret underground bar which was an abandoned L stop, and talk about their gripes about rider and their personal lives.

Chicago Strippers

This is Izabella Miko, who actually played a stripper on Chicago Fire, but she was also in Coyote Ugly, if this pose looks familiar. Chicago Strippers is a spin-off featuring Izabella’s character, and the sketchy guys she encounters, including some with strong mafia ties.

Chicago Improv

Featuring the new students at the famous Second City improv school, the show will follow them as they attempt to become the next Steve Carell or Tina Fey. Surprisingly v dramatic with a lot of tears, and not just the fake kind on stage.

Cell Block Tango

A closer look at the Chicago penitentiary system and the prisoners who spend their lives behind bars. Like Orange is the New Black, but more dancing and singing.

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No One Man Should Have All That Power(ball)

Posted in Miscellany by

Powerball fever has swept the nation, due to the fact that for the first time ever, the jackpot has reached $1.5 billion, the highest ever it’s been in North America. People are spending thousands of dollars in hopes of winning the millions you’d be left with when the taxman comes to take your new fortune.

But let’s be real here folks. You’re not going to win the Powerball. You, person reading this blog on the Internet, will mostly likely not be the Lottery Superwinner of 2016. The odds are literally slim, since it’s currently 1 in 292 million. That is such a minuscule number. To put it in perspective, the odds of a terrorist incident on a plane are 1 per 16.6 million departures. That wasn’t an uplifting stat, but you get the point.

Now, I’ve never been much of a gambler. I’m fairly stingy when it comes to stuff like this, like why would I spend money without getting anything in return? I’m the worst in Vegas. I spend max $10 on penny slots and legit one time had to ask a casino deal how to play roulette (I ended up winning about $50 on the first spin and after a second one, I cashed the fuck out). But I totally bought into the FOMO of Powerball last week and put $20 of my hard-earned Christmas gift money to Powerball and Mega Millions. I did not win anything.

However, there is someone that will eventually win this huge prize, and I have a few suggestions for them once they get the cold hard cash and become the most enviable person in America overnight.

Make It Rain (Then Immediately Clean It Up)

Straight Up Pimp It

GG Revival 24/7

i am kirk on the GG set

Temporarily quit my job to become a “roadie” for the upcoming Gilmore Girls reunion (breaking news: it’s really happening. Filming starts next month, so I better get on this). I will give Amy Sherman-Palladino money to be an actual townie in Stars Hollow and live in the gazebo.

Buyout

Somehow buyout this douchenugget Martin Shkreli’s $45 million fortune and if he manages to stay out of jail, put him in a huge empty ass mansion in a remote area of Wyoming, and secure his precious copy of Wu-Tang’s Once Upon a Time in Shaolin in a glass case that’s impossible to get into. If he does open it, there will be no way to play it.

Take a Ride in Shondaland

Pay your way into Shonda Rhimes’ inner circle and find out what happens on TGIT nights months ahead of the peasants watching at home.

Win a Friendship Auction

Finally bid a winning amount on one of those friendship auctions with Tina and Amy. The going rate was $72,000 so that’s chump change if I’m a Powerball millionaire.

Coffee, stat

Start my own personal delivery service that only caters to me. And maybe my friends.

Go HAM

Buy the best seat in the house for Hamilton, pay with all $10 bills because MONEY IS NO OBJECT

Fan Club President

i was actually a member of the bsb fc for like 2 years. like, recently. it’s fine.

Pay to be a fan club member for a bunch of artists I like so I can get first dibs on great seats. Purchase said great seats because MONEY IS NO OBJECT

Bring Happy Endings Back

BECAUSE MONEY IS NO OBJECT

 

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Hittin’ on Ben Higgins For All The Right Reasons

Posted in Entertainment by

Well guys, it’s January, which means one thing: breaking resolutions a new season of The Bachelor! America’s favorite guilty pleasure is back, and so is our inability to stop watching year after year despite telling ourselves otherwise. But I mean, how else are we supposed to judge others as a community while downing bottles of wine?? And this time around, the 20th season of The Bachelor features one of the most beloved contestants in the series, Ben H(iggins).

When Ben H. was dumped by Kaitlyn on last year’s The Bachelorette, the cries of thousands of females (and males) were heard around the country, including mine. He was one of the nicest, non-dramatic, HOT, there for the *right reasons* contestants on the season, and it was obvious he was going to be chosen as the next object of affection. Now that he has the title, all he needs is a slew of women stirring up some trouble inside the mansion as well as his heart. Last night, we were introduced to the 28 ladies vying for Ben H. and it’s already off to such a great start. In full disclosure, I latched myself onto my friends’ Bachelor fantasy league yesterday afternoon and I have a lot more riding on this season than normal (nothing, we’re playing for nothing) but it is intense THERE IS AN EXTENSIVE GOOGLE DOCUMENT AND I AM EXCITED. Here are some of the contestants who stuck out to me (and might be part of my fantasy team), and maybe not all for the *right reasons*.

The Frontrunners

Get these girls a ticket to their hometowns already

Lauren B ⋅ 25 ⋅ Flight Attendant

Lauren B. seems to already be a favorite among #BachelorNation, but more importantly to Ben, who was obviously smitten with her during their brief chat in front of the fireplace.

Becca ⋅ 26 ⋅ Chiropractic Assistant

I’m in the “Who Cares” camp if someone from a previous season comes back to the show again, because on the real, it’s a whole different ball game. Becca’s relationship with Chris Soules is completely different than the one with Ben. On top of that, if her romance with Ben is stronger than his is with, say, Olivia, then let them be, amirite?!

Caila ⋅ 23 ⋅ Software Sales Representative

Caila, like Ben, is a software sales rep, so they probably have a lot of corny jokes about Mavis Beacon or something. TBH, I don’t think she’s The One, but she has a chance of making it in the final four.

The Low-Key Soon-to-Be Frontrunners

Every season, the winner and/or runners-up tend to come out of nowhere. They suddenly get a lot more air time in the middle of the season and next thing you know you’re rooting for them to win because they have a *connection* (See: Jef, Catherine, Jade). These girls might be the ones to surprise us this year.

Samantha ⋅ 26 ⋅ Attorney

There’s something super chill about Samantha that makes me think she’ll stick around for the long haul, and perhaps Ben sees it too. Or maybe it’s because she reminds me of a mashup of Jordan and Tara from Chris’ season.

Joelle (JoJo) ⋅ 25 ⋅ Real Estate Developer

JoJo is also someone with a chill vibe – basically I feel like I could hang with these girls except for the fact that I would feel super old and haggard around them. Anyways, JoJo seems normal and is there for *the right reasons*.

Jami ⋅ 23 ⋅ Bartender

IDK what it is guys, but Jami could guerrilla attack us and end up being the next Bachelorette. She’s gorgeous, and Ben hit it off with her in the limited minutes we saw them together, but I have high hopes for her.

Keep Them In Your Bracket For A While

Amanda ⋅ 25 ⋅ Esthetician

This mother of twins seems to be another fan favorite, and she also shares something in common with Chris Soules’ (ex) fiancee – their high voices.

Emily ⋅ 22 ⋅ Twin

Good for TV, y’all.

Hailey ⋅ 22 ⋅ Twin

Good for TV, y’all.

Jubilee ⋅ 24 ⋅ War Veteran

Listen, Jubilee sounds like a badass I don’t want to mess with, so if Ben is smart, he shouldn’t cast her off so soon either.

Amber ⋅ 30 ⋅ Bartender

I don’t want to say I dislike Amber, but all I’m saying is I don’t feel anything for her when I watch her on the show. I don’t love her, I don’t hate her, I don’t anything her. But looks like Ben does.

Jennifer ⋅ 25 ⋅ Small Business Owner

Jennifer also didn’t get a lot of screen time last night, which either means she’s leaving soon or she’s staying for a bit. I can’t even remember why I wrote her down as not leaving anytime soon, so here we are.

The Shit Stirrers/Kukoo Banana Pants

This should be self explanatory.

Olivia ⋅ 23 ⋅ News Anchor

She may have gotten the first impression rose, but I had a feeling she had crazy eyes before the crazy seemingly came out in the promo for the rest of the season. Also, she said, “I’m really humble”, which is a thing actual humble people don’t say.

Mandi ⋅ 28 ⋅ Dentist

Bitch came in with a giant rose on her head and proceeded to examine his incisors.

Lace ⋅ 25 ⋅ Real Estate Agent

The token wasted girl on the first night. If you watched it, you already know.

#YouTried

Honey sweetie you made it this far but your journey ends here (or in an early episode). Take a moment and say your goodbyes.

Sushanna ⋅ 27 ⋅ Mathematician

Her entrance was all in Russian (?). Brilliant move by the show’s editors: only show her speaking not English for the rest of the episode. Homegirl is from Utah.

Jackie ⋅ 23⋅ Gerontologist

She had a cute little game with Ben on the first night, but her luck might run out soon enough.

Lauren (LB) ⋅ 23⋅ Fashion Buyer

Honestly, I think no one even calls her “LB”, but there was already a Lauren B., so she had to pull a Lauren Conrad instead.

Lauren H ⋅ 25⋅ Kindergarten Teacher

No matter how many times I look at her, I still don’t remember her.

Rachel ⋅ 23 ⋅ Unemployed

Sidenote: EVERYONE IS SO YOUNG. I GET BEN IS 26 BUT THESE ARE BABIES.

Leah ⋅ 25 ⋅ Event Planner

But seriously, she looks like the captain of her high school cheerleading team.

Special shoutout to Tiara the “Chicken Enthusiast”, who got cut the first night. At least we got to see this:

 

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Pop Culture Blind Spots: Star Wars Episode IV: A New Hope

Posted in Entertainment by

ZOMG U GUYS IT’S FINALLY STAR WARS DAY CAN YOU EVEN CONTAIN YOUR EXCITEMENT??????????!!!?ASDFGHJKL;

I can.

Back in 2013 when we started these Internet shenanigans, I talked about Pop Culture Blind Spots for the first time. On that list of movies I’ve never seen was Star Wars. Two years later, we’ve not only expanded our resumes to include some of the most beloved films, but as of about a week ago, I am no longer a Star Wars virgin. That’s right kids, I can actually talk about the franchise without pretending to have seen it. Or least I can with the first movie.

I will say that what’s weird in the moments leading up to me watching this for the first time, I realized I’ve acquired some kind of pride, if you can call it that, in having never seen this mega iconic film in pop culture history. In many ways, this is the most blind I’ve ever been in our Pop Culture Blind Spot series. And somehow, there’s a part of me that wants to stay blind. Like, once I go into the galaxy, there’s no going back. I won’t have that badge of (dis?)honor anymore. But alas, as the kids say these days, “DO IT FOR THE VINE BLOG”.

Here we go. (PS: no trolling pls, star wars fans. i’m a n00b so calling me out on my wrongness is not only dumb but a waste of time. kthx)

  • The moment I press play, I say outloud, “I already hate this.” I’m gonna try real hard not to hate watch this.
  • I will say this score is epic. I almost got goosebumps and I have no emotional ties to this. YET.
  • Is this in Arial? Helvetica?Photo Dec 16, 10 43 07 PM
  • I know this movie starts out this way, but ugh, making me read a brief history of this universe before any action takes place is exhausting.
  • What’s a “Galactic Empire”?
  • Princess Leia is the hero going into this?
  • When is this supposed to be taking place? Like in the future? Is that a dumb question?
  • C-3PO is British?? IS R2-D2 British??
  • Oh shit Storm Troopers!! They already have WAAYY better lazer action than The Rocky Horror Picture Show, and it’s only a year later.
  • Oh hey Darth Vader! But like, how did you get on their ship so easily? He’s rollin in like a BO$$

Photo Dec 16, 10 44 40 PM

  • Did Princess Leia just give the Death Star info to R2-D2???
  • I know that James Earl Jones is the voice of Darth, but he’s not in the costume, right?
  • Whoa, Leia’s such a badass! Shooting Stormies left and right! Oh she got caught.
  • C-3PO is already my favorite character. He’s like the sassy British butler.

  • WAIT LEIA IS WORKING AGAINST THE EMPIRE?? SHE’S A SECRET SPY?? HERCULES MULLIGAN?! (#We’reAHamiltonBlogNow)

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

  • I’ve clearly got this all wrong.

“We seem to be made to suffer. It’s our lot in life.” – C-3PO

  • The way C-3PO walks is like he’s constipated.
  • Also, like where does C-3PO think he’s going in the middle of this desert? Who does he think he is, BOWE BERGDAHL?? #currentevents

Photo Dec 16, 10 46 45 PM

  • “That malfunctioning little twerp” C-3PO HAHAHAHAHA
  • Do robots need food or anything? Like do they need recharge their batteries? I know nothing.
  • OMG THESE WOOKIES (?) SHOOTING R2 AND R23 FALLING OVER I’M DEAD

  • Could’ve sworn R2 just yell “What the heckk?? let me goooo” as the wookies take him to their ship or whatever
  • Was this scene the inspiration for WALL-E?

so i’m not the first one to think of this then?

  • “Do you think they’ll melt us down?” C-3PO, asking a legit question. I am concerned as well.
  • Are C3 & R2 being sold as slaves to the rebels?? WHY IS HE LEAVING R2 BEHIND WHAT AN ASS. oh ok he’s saving him nvm.
  • How old is Luke supposed to be? He’s acting like a 12 year old, maturity wise.
  • Leia’s white hooded outfit is very Gaga-esque
  • “What message? The one you’re carrying inside your rusty innards!” C-3PO before hitting R2
  • So Obi-Wan and Darth are maybe friends and Luke’s Aunt & Uncle want to hide their existence from him? I feel like I’m missing a lot of information.
  • What’s with these weird swipes to the next scene, George Lucas?

Photo Dec 16, 10 48 37 PM

  • Luke’s aunt is putting some kind of green vegetable in a steamer where is she getting/planting these things? They live in the desert. Is there a secret greenhouse somewhere?
  • Holy smokes these sandpeople are terrifying

Photo Dec 16, 10 49 10 PM

  • “Ben Kenobi” sounds like the name of the half-Asian, half-Jewish kid from your childhood who went by Benny Kenobi all through high school but wanted to be more “mature” in college and told everyone his name was Ben.
  • I admire Luke’s loyalty to a droid he’s just met.
  • Obi-Wan/Ben Kenobi used to be a Jedi Knight with Luke’s “Dad”.  SPOILER I KNOW WHO YOUR DAD IS.
  • Darth Vader “betrayed and murdered” Luke’s father. So he’s like the Voldemort of Star Wars. Obi Wan is Dumbledore. Leia is Hermione. Chewie is Hedwig. The Light Saber is a wand from Ollivander’s.
  • I’m legit taking notes on plot points, because I’m somehow deeply invested in this. But also because I’m already getting confused. What’s Alderaan?
  • “I can’t get involved I’ve got work to do.” – Luke. WHERE THO?
  • *Weird side swipe transition, take a shot*
  • OH SHIT did Luke’s Aunt and Uncle’s compound just get incinerated??
  • This is the face of a made not to be fux withPhoto Dec 16, 10 50 47 PM (1)
  • *Weird side swipe transition, take a shot*
  • Are we going to find out why Darth sounds like he has asthma?
  • Is Darth about to put Veritaserum in Leia to spill her secret?
  • Obi Wan did a weird Jedi minD TRICK OH MY GOD I JUST GOT THAT REFERENCE LEGITIMATELY
  • Luke and the team are in a bar that looks like it could be a sketch on SNL. The music is Speakeasy-esque

Photo Dec 16, 10 52 43 PM

  • I legit just yelled out, “CHEWIE!”, as if I care about this creature BECAUSE MAYBE I DO NOW. MAYBE I DO.
  • Uh racial discrimination against droids WTF? And some dudes straight up told Luke they don’t like him. Find another bar, y’all. Sidenote: is this the Cantina that Lin-Manuel is writing music for the new movie?
  • I hear, “I’m Han Solo” and immediately look up from writing. What a national treasure, that Harrison Ford.
  • So he’s the captain of the Millennium Falcon? Also he’s pronouncing “Falcon” as “FAWL-cohn”, not “FAL-ken”
  • ($)10,000 what kind of currency do they use here?
  • Han is loungin’ like a mothafucka

Photo Dec 16, 10 54 13 PM

  • He also just killed that creature under the table and no one in the bar cared? ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
  • So Jabba the Hut is disgusting, huh?Photo Dec 16, 10 56 23 PM

  • I’d like to reiterate how much better the lazer special effects are in this movie than Rocky Horror. I’m v impressed with the special effects in this in general. It’s not as horrible/hokey as I thought it was going to be.
  • “I forgotten how much I hate space travel” – C-3PO, who is unfortunately in the biggest space-set movie of all time.
  • Wait so Leia is British? Are all the Empire folk British??
  • Obi Wan is feeling something terrible has happened like Dumbledore circa Half Blood Prince
  • Chewie’s look while playing R2 during this weird chess-like game is hilar

Photo Dec 16, 10 57 05 PM

  • How is the Millennium Falcon just cruising into Darth’s planet or whatever.
  • Oh they’ve hidden themselves in a hidden compartment.

Photo Dec 16, 10 58 03 PM

  • “Who’s the more foolish, the fool or the fool who follows him?” Wise words from Obi Wan. Wait is Yoda in this movie??
  • The force will be with you. *And also with you* IS SOMETHING CATHOLICS DON’T SAY ANYMORE.
  • So Han and Luke are constantly at odds and are acting like brothers. Is that a secret twist too?
  • “I can’t see a thing in this helmet” Luke, a space cinnamon roll

  • How is Chewie walking around all unnoticeable. It’s like if Andre the Giant was trying to blend in with Oompa Loompas.
  • After failing to trick one of Stormtroopers, Han shoots the console and says, “Boring conversation anyway,” which is now how I get out of unwanted phone calls.
  • Luke goes to save Leia and there’s obviously a connection there. Also, I honestly thought Luke and Leia were an item but also knew in my subsconscience that they’re siblings (spoiler alert?) so this is a weird feeling.
  • “Somebody has to save our skins!”

LEIA THO

  • “Wonderful girl. Either I’m going to kill her or I’m beginning to like her.” Han hittin us with some foreshadowing.
  • Da Fuq is grabbing Luke in this trash heap?? It’s like a sea monster. This is why I don’t throw myself down garbage chutes.
  • This garbage compact scene is not as stressful as it could be, since I know they all made it to the sequels. This is exactly why I don’t like spoilers. I liked feeling stressed.
  • This entire scene:

  • “It’s them! Blast them!” – Who says that before shooting intruders? Just do it and shut up.
  • Do lazer guns run out of ammo???
  • I hope there’s a scene in the future where C-3Po is revealed and it’s like, Daniel Radcliffe the whole time.
  • I feel like there should have been epic John Williams music during the Darth/Obi showdown, no?

Photo Dec 16, 10 58 38 PM

  • Wait Obi just let Darth kill him after seing Luke??? Is Obi Wan only in this first movie??
  • Leia has a lot of makeup on for someone who has been in space jail

Photo Dec 16, 11 12 56 PM

  • LOLZ at Luke and Han discussing Leia’s love
  • Leia has a few marks on her Gaga outfit after a straight up showdown against the Empire?! That entire thing she have turned black.
  • I will say I like how there’s no trace of 1977 in this movie. Everyone looks like they could be from the future… which is I guess the point of all this.
  • Han’s main characteristic = a little bitch
  • Luke has a friend?? Also the name of the first children’s book in the Star Wars series (I’m assuming). Said friend is concerned for his safety but like where did he come from?
  • Aw precious, C3 is concerned about R2’s safety!

  • Luke hears Obi Wan saying, ‘The force will be with you,’ before he goes out to attack the Death Star, so is he playing the ultimate Jedi mind trick and giving him advice in his mind for the rest of time?
  • I feel like we’re in Top Gun again.

  • Wait where has Leia’s dad been this entire time??
  • Just like Top Gun, Maverick has to save the day, despite her friend dying. Basically what I’m learning here is all the movies and books have stolen from Star Wars.
  • Oh no R2!!! C3 is willing to donate his organs to save R2!!!!!!! THE MOST PRECIOUS.
  • Luke has saved the day and at the celebration ceremony (?) Leia only wears white, Han only has that one vest and Luke had a hidden jacket that he got from Peter from Guardians of the Galaxy.

  • R2 IS ALL BETTER NOW THANK WOOKIE HES’ OK IT’S ALL I REALLY CARE ABOUT

Final thoughts:

After viewing this, I literally thought, ‘I need to watch the next two movies so I’m not spoiled.’ HELLO. So many feelings. If you’ve gotten this far, you can tell I go INTO it. I luckily didn’t have to hate watch it because I’m pleasantly surprised at how much I enjoyed watching it. Like I mentioned in my very first Pop Culture Blind Spot post, Star Wars wasn’t a thing I grew up with. I know a lot of folks were introduced by family members, but my immigrant parents weren’t into this stuff, so I had no connection to it. Two years ago I said I had no interest in watching it, and TBH, IDK if I would’ve seen it if it weren’t for this post. Eventually, I guess I would’ve forced myself. Anyways, the point is, people change. I, like Han, discovered a cold heart can warm up to strangers after they’ve gone through war together. I’ve gone through my personal Star Wars, and in all honesty – I would go through the war all over again.

 

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