Jennifer Aniston’s choppy shag – the biggest boon to the round brush industry to date – met its end by Season 3 of Friends. That means that right now, we are celebrating the 20th anniversary of the Rachel’s death.
I think that to avoid looking too dated or silly, you should avoid any haircut with a first name (unless that name is bob. Pretty classic). But in 1996, America couldn’t resist the curled-under layers of Jennifer Aniston’s bouncy ‘do.
In the years since The Rachel died, Aniston has been pretty vocal about the cut:
Like anyone who has tried to curl their ends with a blowdryer while twirling a brush with the other hand, Jennifer hated styling her haircut. In 2011, she went so far as to call it “the ugliest haircut I have ever seen.” My favorite part: stylist Chris McMillan was (allegedly) high when he created the style. “Stoned out of his mind,” Aniston said.
Okay, but was the Rachel really that bad? Let’s take a look-see.
I mean. Highlights have come a long way, and at the time those frosty pieces read more “sun-kissed” and less chunky. But NOBODY’S hair curls in towards their face like that, and that was the Rachel’s biggest downfall. Add in some cowlicks or waves and this thing is toast; try it on stick-straight hair, and it’ll just hang straight down with layers that look like they were cut with kitchen scissors.
Here’s the thing to remember, two decades on. It wasn’t just that people liked Rachel Green’s hairdo. It’s that the haircut spread across the nation like nothing I’ve seen before or since. (Closest match: Kate Gosselin’s I Want To Talk To The Manager haircut; that heavily inverted bob that looked cool for about a month and now just looks like a short haircut with two long puppy ears in the front.) It started with the moms. It moved on to the 20-somethings. I was 9, and my mom joked that I should get The Rachel.
Don’t think that just because The Rachel crawled off Jennifer Aniston’s head and died in 1996, it was gone for good. That baby multiplied and infested heads worldwide. In the early 2000s, you could still see a Rachel in the wild. Legend has it that a few dozen Rachels still exist in the natural world, but even if not, the echoes of the Rachel can be heard. Every time your stylist asks if you want “a little face-frame,” the Rachel lives on. When a hairdresser suggests “some piece-y layers for texture,” you can hear the wind whisper “Rachel.” And whenever a thick highlight is pulled through a latex cap, the faint sound of Chris McMillan’s hairstyling shears floats into the room.
And just like that the 69th annual Cannes Film Festival came to an end on Sunday. A lot of headline-making news came out of the nearly two weeks on the French Riviera, including Julia Roberts’ first time at the fest, Woody Allen (just being present and alive), Blake Lively’s “Oakland booty”, Kristen Stewart’s movie getting booed, exes Sean Penn and Charlize Theron’s movie getting booed, and of course all the stunning fashion.
One of the most iconic aspects about the Cannes Film Festival is the red carpet and steps leading up to the Grand Theatre Lumiere. It’s here where stars are lit’rally surrounded by photographers, and then they’re meant to walk up the stairs (without tripping) in front of all the world to see. Speaking of Julia, she didn’t dare make a fool of herself during her Cannes debut, and she even walked up the stairs barefoot. But she wasn’t the only one to make her mark on the red carpet. I must admit, this year seemed a bit off to me fashion-wise. Usually there are more looks that are appealing to me, but here are a handful I did appreciate over the course of the past 11 days at Cannes.
Anna Kendrick in Stella McCartney {Cafe Society premiere}
Over the years, Anna’s been on my best dressed list for various events, but it wasn’t until recently that I really realized just how much I adore her style. She always looks classy and beautiful and never over the top.
Riley Keough in Gucci {American Honey Premiere}
Apparently this dress got mixed reviews by fashion critics, but I happen to think it’s great. The fabric is so intriguing to me and I actually like the color combo. I’d be interested to see if that yellow color is more mustard or pea green IRL, which may or may not change my mind about liking it.
Marion Cotillard in Dior Haute Couture {From the Land and the Moon premiere}
Timeless beauty, that Marion Cotillard. This is the type of dress that is perfect for Cannes – classic and simple yet glamourous and eye-catching. I love the pop of red from her lipstick and the subtle slit on the side of the dress.
Elle Fanning in Zuhair Murad {The Neon Demon Premiere}
Elle Fanning is an adult. Well, she’s 18 so she’s technically an adult. But like Dakota, she’s always had a great sense of style, maybe even moreso than her older sis. This gown is perfect for a young lady of her age, and the sheer skirt makes it just sexy enough to show she’s not a kid anymore.
Kirsten Dunst in Gucci {Cafe Society premiere}
I normally wouldn’t be into a dress like this but for some reason I totally am. Reasons: A) the blush pink color. B) The dainty black bow belt C) Long sleeved realness D) The flowers should be obnoxious, but they’re not
Kirsten Dunsty in Dior Haute Couture {Jury photocall}
I had to put one of Kirsten’s first looks from the festival on here too because I loved it so much. She was one of the jury members this year so she had to be at a lot of the events. But this 1950s inspired dress reminds me of Grace Kelly and old Hollywood glamour. Like she’s a movie star from the ’50s and she’s vacationing in the French Riviera. The gold belt gives it a modern twist and the shoes are weirdly both retro and futuristic at the same time. Not pictured: the rattan purse she toted around.
Bella Hadid in Alexandre Vauthier Couture {The Unknown Girl Premiere}
Well this was definitely the most talked about dress at Cannes this year. New It Girl Bella Hadid showed up with a slit so high Angelina Jolie’s leg would be jealous. I’m always impressed when ladies can pull something like this off. I don’t even necessarily think she’s one of the best dressed, but rather the most daring. Also I read an article from her stylist – in case you’re wondering, a bodysuit is basically sewn into the dress, so even if the skirt moved in a way you’d see her crotch, you wouldn’t be able to see anything because she has a high-waisted red satin body suit under there.
Adele Exarchopoulos in Louis Vuitton {The Last Face premiere}
My first reaction to this was a big Nope Keep Scrolling. But then I went back to it and grew to love it. Cannes is usually more formal and ball gown-y, especially on the red carpet, but this is totally her style. Her hair and make-up also push the entire look over the edge to fabulous.
Charlize Theron in Dior {The Last Face premiere}
Adele’s co-star Charlize Theron showed up in her best revenge suit for the premiere of their film which was directed by her ex Sean Penn. I love a lady looking fierce in a suit, and Charlize is werk.ing. it. The low cut blouse, the pulled back hair, the semi-flared pants and black heels – TO DIE. Also, she kept hanging on to Adele the entire time they did press, so naturally the Internet ships them already. Ok, I do too.
Charlize Theron in Givenchy {The Last Face Photocall}
For a more feminine look, Charlize opted to wear this lace number for the movie’s photo call, which is traditionally the time when stars can be more lax in their outfits. Charlize still looks as great as she does at the premiere, and I appreciate that she didn’t overdo it with make-up or accessories, since the dress can speak volumes for itself.
Ryan Gosling in Ralph Lauren Purple Label {The Nice Guys premiere}
Congratulations, Vanessa Bayer. In addition to having the best damn Rachel from Friends impression I’ve ever heard, you’re the only honest person in the New York Times’ Sunday Routine feature. Vanessa orders in food, catches up on her DVR, naps meditates, and earned her very own New York times headline calling her ‘very lazy.’
If this sounds unexceptional to you, you probably aren’t a dedicated hate-reader of The Sunday Routine. For the past several years, famous, accomplished, or upwardly mobile New Yorkers have chronicled their unrealistically busy Sundays in this feature. I think that by now, it has overtaken the Vows section as the most infuriating – yet perversely entertaining – part of the Times.
Here’s a typical Sunday Routine. It’ll be about, let’s say, Marika and Joel. She’s a costume historian and he’s the C.O.O. of an artisan paper startup. Marika gets up at 5 for sunrise yoga: “as I move through my asanas, the sun warms my heart chakra until I, too, radiate light.” (Ed. note: she does not.) Meanwhile, Joel goes for a long jog through a neighborhood where people are doing a blue-collar job. He says something supportive but kind of condescending about them. Then Marika and Joel pick up the paper and go back home to read it in bed with some French press coffee that Joel grabbed from the roasters on the way back from his jog. By about 7, the kids start waking up and pile into their bed and they just all hang out together as a family. “This is secretly my favorite time of the whole week,” Marika says. (Ed. note: who was watching the kids during the run and yoga? Trick question. Marika and Joel don’t really do any of this every Sunday. It’s a collection of things they HAVE done before, compiled into one upwardly mobile day.) The whole family enjoys a big crepe breakfast that Joel makes every week. Meanwhile, Marika runs around the corner to pick up a few cartons of cold-pressed juice. By 8:00, it’s time to go to the park, where their two less-smart kids ride European-looking bicycles and their smart kid plays chess with a wise old man who teaches him about life. This is when Marika likes to set up on the grass and practice her watercolors. Before they know it, it’s 9:15 and time to head to the practice of an underprivileged youth jazz ensemble that Joel mentors. Sometimes Marika comes along – she arranges most of the pieces – but other times, she takes the kids to their favorite Japanese movie house. We’re not even at 10 AM yet. It continues like that until Marika and Joel do some “journaling” and collapse into a deep slumber at 11:30PM.
I like my Sundays to be a little productive, plus I’m terrible at sitting still for more than 20 minutes, but I’ve never shoehorned so much into my Sunday routine. But if you told me you did any of the following Sunday activities on the regular, I’d believe you:
Cleaning. Because even though we all know we’re supposed to do one or two tasks every day so we never have to do a dedicated cleaning session, that never happens and all of a sudden my living room is coated in a thick blanket of dog hair (poor thing, I don’t know how she isn’t bald) and cat hair (total jerk, pretty sure she’s figured out how to shed on purpose).
One household task that ends up taking all day. For instance, this week I went to the public market and bought flowers. Then there was an antique vendor there with the perfect bed for my guest room/office. So I dropped the plants off at home and went back for the bed. THEN I needed potting soil, which took me to the garden store. Then my nieces and nephews were over and my niece got so covered in dirt and seeds that, with enough light and water, she will be a twenty pound walking bean farm within 8-10 days. Anyway. That took my whole damn day. It isn’t always flowers. Sometimes it’s putting a shelf together, or going through your closet, or tidying the basement. Same result.
Catch Up On DVR. I can’t be the only one who treats catching up on TV as an actual task on my to-do list? Plus Sunday’s a good day for it, so you don’t end up two weeks behind on anything.
Have a terrible time grocery shopping. Everyone shops on Saturdays and Sundays. That’s what I tell myself, grumbling, every week when I do my grocery shopping on the weekend, as though I’m not part of the problem myself. The good thing is that Saturdays and Sundays are usually the free sample days. Yes, I am willing to put on a performance of being interested in whatever they’re selling long enough to get a sample. I think this is one of those “there are two kinds of people in this world” thingies, and I will never be that person who can just casually grab a paper cup off the sample cart and keep walking. Sometimes I even buy things I don’t want because I’ve engaged for too long. I’m eating some PopCorners right now thanks to the lady at the sample cart. What are PopCorners? Not sure exactly! They’re like if you made chips out of crushed popcorn from a movie theater floor, kind of. They’re not very good!
Feel guilty while hanging out with my dog. Sometimes on a Sunday I walk my dog, or play catch, and feel guilty because I know Monday is coming but she doesn’t. If you have children, feel free to substitute ‘feel guilty while hanging out with my kid.’
Read a book on my porch. But really, watch the neighbors across the street. Their Sunday routine involves getting very dressed up for church, the mom yelling at the kids a lot until they’re in the car, coming back hours later, then playing sports outdoors.
Some weird existential stuff. What am I doing with my life? Does it even matter – the universe is so large and time is so vast? Best case scenario, I have lived 1/3 of my life already. Getting to live the amount I have two times again doesn’t feel like enough. Maybe people will be living a really long time when I’m old and I won’t have to worry about it. Do I like my job? What would it be like if I didn’t have to work? – These are things that don’t plague me at all, except for like 5 minutes on a Sunday. That’s why they have church on Sundays. Because that’s when everyone has their weird existential stuff. Yet somehow ‘weird existential stuff’ never shows up in the Sunday routine.
If you’re a TV nerd, May is quite an exciting time. Current shows are wrapping up and rolling out their season finales, but networks are also announcing what they’re canceling and what they’re picking up so we can be addicted to brand new shows come fall. This year, ABC decided to Game of Thrones their line-up (did I even use that ref correctly) and axed a bunch of shows, NBC and FOX surprised us with a lot of promising pilots and CBS continued to be CBS-y and very white male-y. So in this “Golden Age of Television”, it’s of utmost import to be more selective than usual when it comes to picking up new shows, which is why I’ve compiled this handy guide to help you on your travels. Here are my picks for the most appealing new shows coming this fall (and midsesason) so you don’t have to waste your time on shows that will only last a few eps and get canceled right away.
The Comedies
The Good Place
Thursdays, 8:30pm • NBC
The Good Place was created by Michael Schur of Parks and Rec, Brooklyn Nine-Nine and The Office fame, and I feel like that should be enough for you to watch this. But if you still need more, it also stars Kristen Bell and Ted Danson (our new #MCE). More? It’s written by a lot of the same writers from Parks. More? It’s features Kristen Bell as a woman who died and went to The Good Place (as opposed to The Bad Place), and now she’s living in a perfect world where she’s wrestling with what it means to be “good”. More? Ugh, stop being a dumb bench and watch the darn thing.
Making History
*Midseason* Sundays, 8:30pm • FOX
Oh Adam Pally. Ever since you walked into our lives as Max in Happy Endings, I never wanted you to leave. He had a great run on The Mindy Project, but he’s definitely making a splash with his own series, Making History. Written by the dudes who brought you 21 Jump Street and The Lego Movie, it centers around three friends who “find a way to travel through time for truth, justice and riches, which complicates their lives in 2016. They visit some of the greatest moments of the past as they try to resolve their personal problems, while history and pop culture comically collide.” Also, Leighton Meester is in it and the complete opposite of Blair Waldorf. It’s great.
Lethal Weapon
Wedensdays, 8:00pm • FOX
I’ve never actually seen the OG Lethal Weapon movies (I know), but if they’re anything like the trailer for the TV adaptation, I’m here for it. Technically, it seems like the show is more in the dramedy category, but much like Season 1 of Orange is the New Black, I’m lumping it in the comedy section. Anyways, much like the movie franchise, it follows cops Riggs and Murtaugh who work for the LAPD. Former Navy SEAL Riggs (Clayne Crawford) recently lost his wife and unborn child, while Murtaugh (Damon Wayans Sr.) is back in the saddle after a near-fatal heart attack. I admit this isn’t the type of show I’d usually put on my radar, but I was sucked in by the trailer from the first second.
Honorable Mentions
Great News (NBC) {Midseason} – Much like Mike Schur or Shonda Rhimes, I will follow Tina Fey where ever she leads. This time, she’s reunited with 30 Rock writer Tracey Wigfield (they won an Emmy together!), who created and wrote the pilot, in addition to being an EP. It centers around a millennial woman whose mother (played by My Big Fat Greek Wedding aunt Andrea Martin) gets a job as an intern at the same cable network she works at. I also managed to see the trailer for Great News and it feels like Tracey’s voice – a mix of 30 Rock with The Mindy Project, where she was a writer and actress, playing Adam Pally’s new wife Lauren. There were some LOL lines in the trailer AND surprise – Horatio Sanz is in it!
Powerless (NBC)– {Midseason} Powerless is technically a workplace comedy – except that workplace is an insurance company within the universe of DC Comics. It centers on claims adjustors played by Vanessa Hudgens and Danny Pudi, among others, and how they deal with situations like if Batman ruined a Forever 21 at the mall while saving a little girl, and they have to deal with the aftermath. I managed to see a leaked trailer for the show (which has now been taken down) and it looks like it should be on CW or NBC in the era of Heroes. However, I love BBV with Danny Pudi and it’s a great high concept show that could find a big audience.
Imaginary Mary (ABC) {Midseason} – TBH I didn’t expect the trailer to be as intriguing as it was. Imaginary Mary stars Jenna Elfman as a career woman who meets the love of her life, who happens to be a divorced father with three kids. To help her navigate the transition, her childhood imaginary friend pops up, and she’s voiced by the one and only Rachel Dratch. It seems quirky enough that it might be charming, however it could go the way of The Goldbergs (currently in its 3rd season) or Trophy Wife (RIP). Sidenote: I didn’t realize it was created by Adam F. Goldberg who legit created The Goldbergs, so this will probably be a hit hahaaha
The Dramas
This Is Us
Tuesdays, 9:00pm • NBC
Out of all the new crop of shows, I am the most excited about This Is Us. And I’m not the only one. The trailer for this show has been viewed over 15 million times in a little over 48 hours on Facebook – it’s the most watched new-show trailer ever uploaded during upfront week. The previous record was CW’s Legends of Tomorrow which hit 4.1 million last year. In full disclosure I feel at least 7 million views is from me. Needless to say, people are liking it. And what’s great about it is that while it does star B-list actors like Milo Ventimiglia (<3) and Mandy Moore (<3) and Sterling Brown from The People v. OJ Simpson (<3), it’s not a show with a superstar name attached to it. People are responding to the trailer because it’s good. This Is Us is written by the folks who brought us the brilliant Crazy Stupid Love, and NBC’s been promoting it like a replacement to Parenthood, which I’m totally fine with. It’s a multi-story show featuring characters who have one thing that times them together, and it’s their birthday. I full expect to laugh and cry and ship Milo and Mandy to the fullest. Gimme this show now.
Designated Survivor
Wednesdays, 10:00pm • ABC
Guys, believe it or not but I’ve never watched a TV program (maybe even movie) that Keifer Sutherland has been in…? This might be the first. Instead of playing a Jack Bauer character, Keifer gets promoted from a lower-level Cabinet member to President of the USA after an attack during the State of the Union kills the President, VP, Speaker of the House and everyone in line to be Pres. If this sounds familiar, it’s because it’s a real law, and if you’re a The West Wing fan, you might remember the storyline from one of the eps. While the plot isn’t necessarily super original, the trailer makes it intriguing and appealing to watch. Because course I need another political drama to get into.
Frequency
Tuesdays, 9:00pm • The CW
I didn’t even know this pilot existed until my friend Jennie brought it up – it’s based on a 2000 movie starring Dennis Quaid of the same name. However this TV version features a female police detective in present day who discovers she is able to speak via ham radio with her estranged father who died in 1996. They have to “work together to change the history of tragic events to come.” Starring Mehki Phifer & Peyton List of Mad Men fame. While this wouldn’t usually be on my TV line-up, I still think it has the potential to be a great series.
Pitch
Thursdays, 9:00pm • FOX
Dan Fogelman of Crazy Stupid Love and This Is Us (see above) has HIT A HOME RUN this TV season, as his other show, Pitch has also been picked up to series. The show centers on a young female baseball player who becomes the first MLB pitcher. Think Mo’ne Davis, but a few years from now. It stars newcomer Kylie Bunbury as lead Ginny Baker, my forever boo Mark-Paul Gosselaar, Mark Consuelos, Ali Larter and Dan Lauria, the dad from The Wonder Years who I also had an irrational fear of. Again, this type of sports show isn’t my usual jam, but I feel like it has Friday Night Lights vibe in that you won’t be focusing so much on the sport, but rather the good drama happening during it.
Shots Fired
*Midseason* Wednesdays, 8:00pm • FOX
I recently got into American Crime and loved both seasons so much – it felt like it should be required viewing for all Americans, since it deals with tough issues like racism and gun control that we’re dealing with day to day. Shots Fired has that same feel. The series from EP Gina Prince-Bythewood, the brilliant writer behind Love & Basketball and Beyond the Lights, takes place in a small Southern town where racially charged shootings have just occurred. It stars Sanaa Lathan, Helen Hunt, Richard Dreyfuss, Stephen Moyer, and Tristan Wilds – not to mention I am 100% behind the title of this show.
Honorable Mentions
Still Star-Crossed (ABC){Midseason} – As previously menitoned, I will follow Shonda to the ends of the TV earth. Her latest show is written by a Scandal alum, and based on the book by Melinda Taub. This period drama picks up where Romeo & Juliet left off, and what happens to the Montagues and Capulets once R&J drank the poison. I am such a sucker for Shakespeare that I would’ve watched this anyways, but the Shondaland factor just ups it a bunch of notches.
Bull (CBS){Tuesdays at 9p} Hamilton’s George Washington AKA Chris Jackson plays a possibly gay dresser in this show kind of based off of Dr. Phil’s life. Except much more interesting and no Dr. Phil.
Star (FOX) – {Midseason – Wednesdays at 9p} Get ready for another music drama from Lee Daniels, this time starring Queen Latifah and a girl group. No Jussie Smollett, so maybe not worth your time?
Doubt (CBS) {Midseason} – CBS execs originally developed this show last season, but passed it over, revamped it, replaced Private Practice’s KaDee Strickland with Katherine Heigl in hopes of finally giving her a big break on TV that doesn’t involve her being a doctor. In Doubt, she plays a defense lawyer who gets romantically involved with her client who may or may not be guilty of comitting a brutal crime. Hence, she has doubt. Reasons I’m looking forward to this: A) The rest of the cast includes Steven Pasquale, Dule Hill, Dreama Walker, Elliott Gould B) It also stars Laverne Cox, who will be making broadcast TV history when the show features a transgender series regular character played by a transgender actor. C) It’s created and written by Tony Phelan & Joan Rater, producers from Grey’s Anatomy. They also had another pilot up this season, Drew, featuring Sarah Shahi as a modern day adult Nancy Drew. You know, the whole #TooFemale thing.
Not familiar with the Eurovision Song Contest? Ten years ago, I wasn’t either. It was May 2006, I was studying abroad in Spain, and all of a sudden everyone was talking about this …. singing reality show, I guessed? … with an enthusiasm that seemed almost American. The Eurovision Song Contest is an annual competition between European countries and, for some reason, Australia. Each country submits an original song then votes on other countries’ songs. Ireland has won the most times, which doesn’t surprise me and shouldn’t surprise you. (It’s to the extent where one year Ireland was just like screw it, we’re sending a turkey puppet. That really happened. They really sent a turkey puppet and DIDN’T GET THE FEWEST POINTS. It apologized for Riverdance.)
Learning about the Eurovision Song Contest was the only time during my study abroad semester when I could feel myself turning into an Ugly American. Because when Americans see nice things that we don’t have, we try to find a way to muscle our way in there. I mean, singing competitions? We invented singing competitions! Or, okay, we stole all our best ones from the UK. But they’re pretty good copies! However, watching the contest this year, I couldn’t deny the truth: if the U.S.A. strong-armed our way into the contest, we’d ruin it. We’d rig the votes. Our original song would have too much production and too little heart. American voters would complain about songs not being in English. We’d demand a recount (which -wow! – voters are actually doing this year after Ukraine’s win.) It’s better we watch this one from afar and not try to join in, as difficult as it is for Americans to not show other countries that we can do things too.
However, in the great American tradition, that won’t stop me from offering on my opinion on things I have no say in. Here’s what an American think about the five top-ranked songs in the fantastic 2016 Eurovision Song Contest.
Ukraine: 1944 (Jamala)
American Take: We have this rule, too. The thing about World War II always wins. The Oscars? The thing about World War II always wins. Tony Awards? The Emmys? World War II, winner. Even high school art shows: the pencil sketch or papier mache sculpture about World War II always wins. It’s nice to know that some things, like smiles, laughter, and “the thing about World War II always wins,” are the same wherever you live.
(In any event, this was haunting and beautiful, but the melody kind of sounds like when I’d make up a song as I went along as a kid. Jamala wrote 1944 about the deportation of Crimean Tatars by the Soviet Union, and it just narrowly sidestepped the Eurovision rule against “political content” because it’s easy to interpret the song as being about the recent Russian annexation of Crimea. )
Australia: Sound Of Silence (Dami Im)
American Take: Oh come on. AUSTRALIA? If we don’t get to play, you don’t get to play. I know everybody loves you because you have the laid-back, informal attitude of America without the arrogance or divisive foreign policy, but you still aren’t European. Besides, Australia has an unfair advantage, being an enormous country whose main export is charismatic entertainers. (Dami Im, an Australian citizen, was born in South Korea, so she really has Excellence In Pop Music written on all her nationalities.) How about this: Australia, the USA and Canada can start our own contest. We’ll even invite New Zealand.
Anyway, song’s good. It has kind of a 90s pop sound, with techno-influenced backing music and soaring vocals, and I think it easily could have been the winner if Ukraine’s song weren’t about World War II. Apparently, it would have been the winner under the old voting rules.
Know who else had a song called The Sound Of Silence? AMERICANS.
Russia: You Are The Only One (Sergey Lazarev)
American Take: Tons of bonus points for the staging and graphics here. As a song? It kind of sounds like something that would play in one of those roller coaster where you’re in the dark. If I ran more, it would probably be a good running song, too. Lazarev is an enthusiastic performer with a strong voice.There’s kind of a Ricky Martin/ Marc Anthony vibe as well. Good job, Russia.
Bulgaria: If Love Was A Crime (Poli Genova)
American Take: Yo. Poli? I don’t know how things are going for you in Bulgaria – probably pretty great, you were their Eurovision pick after all – but you might belong on American radio. I don’t just mean that she’s good ( I mean, she is) but you could swap this out for any Shakira/ Rhianna/ Meghan Trainor / ANYTHING song on Top 40 Radio and I wouldn’t even notice the difference. Great, now I’m going to be singing “O, dai mi liubovta” for the rest of the day, if only because liubovta is so fun to say.
Sweden: If I Were Sorry (Frans)
American Take: Sweden: Small country, BIG talent. And everyone loves Sweden. They’re effortlessly cool, but they seem down-to-earth. Now, when I hear Swedish Pop I expect something like Abba or Robyn, or on the more modern side, something like Lykke Li or Tove Lo. I would not have expected this song. But I like it! I’m always a pushover for whichever Eurovision song isn’t as much a “big, pop production” and is more just a … song. I don’t know. Also, Frans is adorable.
Honorable Mentions
There were some songs in the Grand Final that didn’t make the top 5, but maybe should have. Every year, Eurovision audiences come away that their favorites didn’t get the most votes, and I’m no different. Here are a few that I’d have liked to see with more points:
The Netherlands: Slow Down (Douwe Bob)
American Take: Sounding kind of like 1970s AM Radio, kind of like an original song for an independent film, and sort of like American new folk, this was a nice break from some of the “lots of drums, lots of vocal riffs, lots of computer noises” songs that predominate the contest.
France: J’ai Cherche (Amir)
American Take: I just love how France is all “non, non, non, we are not doing this in English. Well, some of it in English. But not all of it” I also love this song. I might be a sucker for claps, though. Might be.
A bit of a contrahversay went down recently when a Buzzfeed article pointed out that “everyone’s been mishearing one lyric on the iconic Jennifer Lopez/Ja Rule hit I’m Real song wrong for years. YEARS. Apparently a handful of folks thought JLo was saying, “Are you Ellie?” in the beginning, when in reality, she was saying, “R.U.L.E.”, because, you know, Ja Rule. I personally was offended by this post because duh, logically it makes no sense she would be asking Ja if he’s some rando named ‘Ellie’. And if she’s not asking Ja, who is she asking? Spelling out names in songs is cool and hip, which is why THOSE ARE THE REAL LYRICS.
But I get it. we all make mistakes. We all mishear lyrics from time to time, even if you realize just how dumb you sounded when you were singing the wrong ones. Here are a few we’ve mistakenly been “Ellie-ing” for years.
Let’s forget that the song is titled Roll To Me. I thought the lyrics were “the right time and the wrong me” from third grade through, oh, age 27 or so, when I tried to look up the song for a little nostalgia boost and couldn’t find it with the words I was using. But think about it: the video is the heads of the band members on babies. It’s the right time but the WRONG ME because he is still a BABY. Plus “right time, wrong me” makes sense whereas “roll to me” isn’t an expression … is what I thought for about 20 years.
Trap Queen by Fetty Wap
For over a year, I was completely positive that Fetty Wap was in the kitchen cooking prawns with his baby. Part of it is how he says “pies,” part of it is that everyone knows that you don’t cook a pie, you bake it. By the way, I learned this one via the change.org petition to have Fetty Wap perform this at Nancy Reagan’s funeral.
I Melt With You by Modern English
I learned I had the words wrong in the most embarrassing and most common way you can learn you have the words wrong: singing along with the song at one of my trashy house parties in college. One of my friends stopped, looked and me, and said “that’s cute, you’re changing the lyrics to be about me and you.” Nope. Just an idiot who thought that Modern English was saying “I’ll stop the world and marry you.” Evidently diction isn’t part of the Modern English curriculum.
Here Comes The Hotstepper by Ini Kamoze
You’re going to need to understand that leprechauns were having a moment in the early to mid 90s. The movie Leprechaun really elevated the tiny Irish guys to a menacing figure worthy of horror films and rap lyrics. That’s why I thought Ini Kamoze was professing to be the “leprechaun gangster” for over a decade. “We don’t die, yes we multiply” even sounded like the concept of a leprechaun-based B-movie.
The Shoop Shoop Song by Betty Everett
It’s not just that, throughout my childhood, I thought she was saying “if you want to know if he loves you so, it’s in his kids.” It’s also that I created an elaborate scenario where it was a song about a woman falling for a single dad. I watched a lot of Full House, yes.
Traci’s Picks
Paper Planes by M.I.A.
The chorus is lit’rally half sound effects, yet somehow I always thought the lyrics were: “All I wanna do is *Bang Bang Bang Bang*/And *Click* *Ka-Ching*/’Mathangi’ on my neck”. You know, Mathangi as in M.I.A.’s real name. Duh. Apparently I was over thinking it because the real words are: “All I wanna do is *Bang Bang Bang Bang*/ And *Click* *Ka-Ching*/And take your money”. Ok fine, that makes more sense.
Billie Jean by Michael Jackson
Anyone else think the words were, “But the jet is not my son”? I mean, obviously it doesn’t even make any sense, but I guess I didn’t matter to me because the song was so rad? But when I found out the real lyrics were actually “But the kid is not my son”, it totally changed the entire song meaning for me.
Lean On by Major Lazer Featuring DJ Snake & MØ
So I guess my main takeaway from this post is that I’m not reall good with lyrics involving guns? Because I thought the chorus went: “Focus, fire a gun/We need someone to lean on”, when in reality it’s, “Blow a kiss, fire a gun/We need someone to lean on”. Whatever, she’s Danish.
You Oughta Know by Alanis Morissette
In my defense, I’d bet there are a lot of people who also have no idea what Alanis is singing on this album. Right?
I want you to know, That I’ve had beef with you/I wish nothing but the best for you both
I know the virgin in me/Is she perverted like me?
Would she go down on you in a theater?
Does she speak Eloguquani (some type of Native American language?)/And would she have your baby?
I’m sure she’d make a really excellent mother
… So, um… let’s take a look at the real lyrics:
I want you to know, that I am happy for you/I wish nothing but the best for you both
An older version of me/Is she perverted like me?
Would she go down on you in a theater?
Does she speak eloquently/And would she have your baby?
I’m sure she’d make a really excellent mother
At least I think my version is a better look on Dave Coulier?
Work by Rihanna
Just, like, all the chorus. I’m not the only one in the dark here, right? I looked it up on Genius and apparently the reason why we think it’s garbled speak is because she’s singing in Jamaican patois. “Haffi” = have to, “ah guh” = is going to, and “Meh nuh cyar” = I don’t care. The music video makes much more sense now. Here are the real lyrics:
Work, work, work, work, work, work/He said me haffi
Work, work, work, work, work, work!/He see me do mi
Dirt, dirt, dirt, dirt, dirt, dirt!/So me put in
Work, work, work, work, work, work/When you ah guh
Learn, learn, learn, learn, learn/Meh nuh cyar if him
Hurt, hurt, hurt, hurt, hurting
Folks, we’re one week away from a new season of The Bachelorette aka America’s favorite guilty pleasure. Season 12 features Ben Higgins reject Jojo, you know the runner-up who Ben professed his love to, even though you’re not supposed to do that until the season finale. Jojo, like all the other losers in The Bachelor franchise, deserves love, and she will hopefully find it with the man of her dreams on national TV starting on May 23rd. But what exactly does she – and we – have to look forward to this season? I mean besides Jojo’s mom drinking alcohol straight out of the bottle? These dudes.
ABC released the first look of the men she’ll be picking from this time around and let’s just say… it should be an interesting season. I’ve decided to make a few first impression judgements on some of the guys, and then figure out if I was anywhere near the truth. I PROMISE I did not peek at their bios before giving my guesses! Do any of these guys look remotely appealing to y’all? Maybe their personalities will shine through when the show premieres. And I am ready to be proven wrong.
Fake Name: Stellan
Fake Occupation: Mixologist at hipster speakeasy in Silver Lake – known for his magic tricks at the bar
Fake Rando Fact: Makes his own craft beer in his garage
Real name: Evan
Real Occupation: Erectile Dysfunction Expert (NO, REALLY)
Real Rando Fact: Favorite type of dancing is “booty” dancing
Will he last? Nah.
♦♦♦
Fake Name: Julian
Fake Occupation: Vintner in Napa Valley
Fake Rando Fact: Says he’s fluent in French, took one semester in college (got a B- as a final grade)
Real name: Nick S.
Real Occupation: Software Salesman
Real Rando Fact: The food he dislikes the most is “scary cheeses”
Will he last? Not with that neckerchief, no.
♦♦♦
Fake Name: Tony
Fake Occupation: Wedding DJ
Fake Rando Fact: At the age of 16, he was briefly in a boy band called No Way Out. It was managed by Lou Pearlman’s cousin Stu Pearlman.
Real name: Vinny
Real Occupation: Barber
Real Rando Fact: The most embarrassing style he’s ever had: “I bleached my tips once. I looked like Timberlake – boy-band style.”
Will he last? Nope.
♦♦♦
Fake Name: Charlie
Fake Occupation: Financial analyst
Fake Rando Fact: Grew up on a ranch and was the Colorado state champion bull rider
Real name: James Taylor
Real Occupation: Singer-Songwriter
Real Rando Fact: He has a tattoo of an American flag and eagle on his left arm/shoulder.
Will he last? How sweet it is to (not be) loved by you
♦♦♦
Fake Name: Ashley
Fake Occupation: Hairstylist
Fake Rando Fact: Worked for celebrity hairstylist Jonathan Antin but was fired during episode two of his Bravo reality TV series Blow Out
Real name: Luke
Real Occupation: War Veteran
Real Rando Fact: If he could be any superhero, he would be Superman, because “he’s got swag and powers.”
Will he last? No, sir.
♦♦♦
Fake Name: Scotty B.
Fake Occupation: Manages bookshop/cafe in Chicago
Fake Rando Fact: Was a former child actor, best known as Beans on Even Stevens.
Real name: Brandon
Real Occupation: Hipster
Real Rando Fact: His all-time favorite book is David and Goliath, by Malcolm Gladwell, because of “how he sees challenges, advantages and disadvantages.”
Will he last? We’ve got a Goliath on our hands
♦♦♦
Fake Name: Mikey
Fake Occupation: Sports Trainer
Fake Rando Fact: Is super into China and its entire culture
Real name: Alex
Real Occupation: U.S. Marine
Real Rando Fact: The most outrageous thing he’s ever done – “Ripped the door off a totaled, burning car and pulled the unconscious driver out to safety.”
Will he last? Um, probs not?
♦♦♦
Fake Name: Jayson
Fake Occupation: Fitness Model
Fake Rando Fact: Is one of 7 kids – only boy in the bunch
Real name: Christian
Real Occupation: Telecom Consultant
Real Rando Fact: His best friend is his mom, “She is my ultimate supporter and has been there every step of the way.”
Will he last? I don’t believe in Christian’s longevity
♦♦♦
Fake Name: Tyler
Fake Occupation: Coffee Enthusiast
Fake Rando Fact: Been an extra in five episodes of Portlandia
Real name: Wells
Real Occupation: Radio DJ
Real Rando Fact: He doesn’t like pizza.
Will he last? Maybe? I’m not-so-secretly rooting for him, based on nothing.
♦♦♦
Fake Name: Nate
Fake Occupation: Product Developer
Fake Rando Fact: Doesn’t hide the fact he loves Ryan Gosling
Real name: Chad
Real Occupation: Luxury Real Estate Agent
Real Rando Fact: “All-time favorite movies – The Notebook (don’t make fun of me)”
You’ve seen #OscarsSoWhite. Last week it was #TonysSoDiverse. This week it’s #StarringJohnCho. Diversity in entertainment has been an even bigger topic than ever over the past couple of years, mainly because people are starting to speak up about how there isn’t any.
Recently, there was a lot of hullabaloo about whitewashing in two upcoming movies, with Tilda Swinton playing The Ancient One in Doctor Strange and Scarlett Johansson as the Major in Ghost in the Shell, both characters that were Asian in the original comic books. And you may remember that horrible film Aloha, in which she played Chinese-Hawaiian soldier Allison Ng. If you weren’t aware – all these ladies are white.
In response, a social media project called #StarringJohnCho was started, in an attempt to prove that Asian-Americans can be lead actors in movies too. The movement places John, arguably one of the biggest Asian actors who could actually carry a film (see: all the Star Treks), Photoshopped into other blockbuster movie posters.
You might be thinking, ok, that’s great and all, but John Cho’s not a “movie star”. Well, a recent study from USC shows that only 1% of lead roles in Hollywood films go to Asians, while 1 out of 20 speaking roles go to Asians. Statistics for John to even get a chance to be a bonafide movie star are slim.
One of my favorite quotes regarding diversity in entertainment comes from Viola Davis’ Emmys speech last year, when she straight up spit the truth in front of all of Hollywood.
“In my mind, I see a line. And over that line, I see green fields and lovely flowers and beautiful white women with their arms stretched out to me over that line. But I can’t seem to get there no how. I can’t seem to get over that line.” That was Harriet Tubman in the 1800s. And let me tell you something: The only thing that separates women of color from anyone else is opportunity. You cannot win an Emmy for roles that are simply not there.”
You cannot win an Emmy for roles that are simply not there. Hollywood execs are refusing to even consider POC, because the only color they really see is green. “We can’t cast Harry Shum Jr. in the lead role because he doesn’t have a successful box office track record.” Studio execs need only look at the numbers yet again – for example, the Fast and Furious movies (while albeit a bit tedious), feature a diverse cast AND crew, and its seven movies have grossed nearly $4 billion globally. Moreover, a UCLA study even noted that films with diverse leads not only result in higher box office numbers but also higher returns of investment for studios and producers.
Not to mention the mere impact casting POC would have culturally – I talked about it when I wrote about Fresh Off The Boat, but growing up, it was slim pickings when it came to idolizing Asian-American actresses. White ladies? Sure, I can name you minimum 240. Not so much with the Asians.
ALL THIS TO SAY is that Asian actors just need to be given the chance to be in the lead. It’s not just #StarringJohnCho, it’s #StarringINSERTANYOTHERASIANACTORHERE. So in the spirit of Asian Pacific American Heritage Month (yes, that’s a real thing every May), here are just a few picks for younger actors and actresses who deserve to be in the lead just as much as any white person.
Constance Wu
If you’re not watching Fresh Off The Boat, what is wrong with you? Like, legit what kind of ailment is prohibiting you from watching one of the best, well-written, funniest, culturally important programs on the air right now? Here is just one reason why you should watch it – the matriarch of the family, Jessica Huang played by Constance Wu. Constance plays Jessica as a bit of a tiger mom, but one who also truly cares for her kids and can sit and play Mario Kart with them. This clip is just a fraction of Constance’s brilliance on the show.
Conrad Ricamora
Conrad be representing for my fellow Filipinos! He’s best known for his work in theater, including Imelda Marcos musical Here Lies Love and is currently on Broadway in the revival of The King and I. However, you might know him best as a member of Shondaland in How to Get Away With Murder. He’s only half of the best couple on the show, #Coliver. Honestly, they’re the best. Anyways, Conrad is super talented (as seen above) and has leading man good looks, so what more can you ask for?
Kimiko Glenn
You probs know Kimiko as Brooke Soso from Orange Is The New Black or her current stint on Broadway’s Waitress. However, I know her from being a creep. Fact: I saw the first national tour of Spring Awakening years ago in Boston and saw it thrice during its entire run in the city (I’ve mentioned this before but it doesn’t make it any less true). I became slightly obsessed with the show and music, of course, but also weirdly followed the touring cast on social media? It’s fine. Anyways, Kimiko was part of that cast, and during their stops across the country, the cast would hold benefit concerts, usually covering popular songs. Here’s one of those concerts and one in which Kimiko covers Jason Mraz. I’ve listened to this too many times to mention over the past few years.
Phillipa Soo
If you’re a member of Hamiltrash, I don’t even have to explain why Phillipa needs to continue being a leading lady. If you haven’t seen this precious cinnamon roll sing Copland in this Ham4Ham, drop everything you’re doing and watch it now.
Yes, this is the dude from Pitch Perfect. However, he’s also Mindy’s brother Rishi on The Mindy Project, a role I think he’s perfectly cast in. Every time he comes on screen, I can’t wait to see what ridiculous thing he’ll say and it’s Utk’s delivery is always spot on. Also as a bonus, he’s BFFZ with Lin-Manuel Miranda since they used to do Freestyle Love Surpreme (improv rap group) together. *sigh*
Ki Hong Lee
Dong!!! Ki is probs one of the millennial-era actors who’s the closest to leading man role, having not only starred in Kimmy Schmidt but also in all The Maze Runner films. And if you’re wondering, his real accent is American.
Next to Happy Endings, Trophy Wife will always go down as one of the most tragic cancellations in TV history. We were big fans of it here, and one of the main reasons was the nugget, Bert, played by Albert Tsai. He’s a natural comedian and has potential for greatness in the future. He’s already got a role on Ken Jeong’s Dr. Ken, so hopefully there’s nowhere to go but up.
Ah Lane Kim. If you’re only familiar with her work on Gilmore Girls, check out her other work in shows like Scandal and Shameless. Keiko also has a podcast called Drunk Monk, in which she and her co-host Will discuss episodes of Monk – you guessed it – while drunk. Also, she does a lot of improv in LA at Upright Citizens Brigade and is really good at it. I’m not just saying that. My friend and I accidentally saw her do improv at UCB on a total whim. And she was fantastic.
Welcome to Moo Point, a series focusing on really old scandals, controversies and mysteries that are now so culturally irrelevant that our thoughts on them are moo. Like a cow’s opinion.
If you were a theater kid, you probably both loved and hated the kids in the Broadway cast of Annie. On one hand, those lucky kids were living their dream! On the other hand, those lucky kids were living YOUR dream. I was a hardcore child theater nerd – camps, acting classes, commercial auditions, headshots, even an educational video that I hope never surfaces – but I was nothing compared to the little pros in Annie. Although the Andrea McArdles, Aileen Quinns and Sarah Jessica Parkers get most of the Annie cred, if you’re a dyed-in-the-wool millennial you probably connect the most with the 1997 Broadway Revival. And leapin’ lizards, you’re probably still ready to serve a knuckle sandwich to whoever booted tiny, talented Joanna Pacitti.
But I’m getting ahead of myself. Let’s take it back … way back… to a show a surprising number of 10-year-olds were watching in 1997: Turning Point, a 20/20-type show on ABC. (In our defense, 20/20 did air right after TGIF, and how else were we supposed to learn that you can get scalped by a pool drain?) A Very Special Episode – advertised for what seemed like weeks – tracked the auditions and casting for the upcoming Broadway revival of Annie. You got to follow kids through open calls, callbacks, trying to act like they’re instantly bonded with Sandy, the crushing disappointment of rejection… and finally, the naming of a new Annie, Joanna Pacitti. Even if you wanted to resent a kid whose acting career was going better than yours, you had to admit that Joanna was a great Annie. She had the tough kid act down, but could also play sweet. She looked like she was having fun. And her rendition of Tomorrow was note-perfect.
(Rewatching the above for the first time in 20 years, I remember how appalled I was at the kids’ acting ability as a child: most auditions I went out for required a more naturalistic approach, and the Annie auditions seemed to go more for girls who ACT like THIS, with some of their WORDS IN ALL CAPS!, like the spoken interlude in a Kidz Bop song. But the girls were just giving the producers what they were looking for, so hey, those gals could read a room.)
Before the show even went to the stage, Joanna became a national phenomenon. She was on talk shows and was the talk of 5th grade classrooms everywhere. Her story became known across the country: just a regular Philly kid who got her start singing for tips at her father’s barber shop. As Annie took a roundabout route to Broadway via a national tour, Pacitti warmed hearts and gained positive reviews. In hindsight, the whole process of the 1997 Annie revival is weird: the laborious open call auditions, the reality TV-ification of casting (before “reality TV” existed as such), the national tour before the Broadway opening… it seemed almost like producers were trying to generate interest in the show that could have been accomplished by just, you know, opening a new production of Annie on Broadway. It was 1997. What were tourists going to take their 7-year-old daughters to, Rent?
Then, four weeks before the Broadway opening, the unthinkable happened. Well, unthinkable if you’re a girl who beat out thousands in a search for the new Annie: little Joanna got the ax. According to producers, the reason was concerns about Joanna’s acting ability and chemistry with Daddy Warbucks. In another statement, they said that after trying out understudies when Joanna got bronchitis, they just liked another kid better. The other kid, Brittny Kissinger, was the youngest Annie ever, a second grader carrying a Broadway show. Impressive stuff.
Still, I defer to my comment under the video – not a single one of those orphans were showing off their “acting ability.” They all did what my childhood acting teacher called “Barney acting,” shouting like an excited cheerleader hopped up on pixie sticks. Today’s viewers will know this acting style from countless Disney sitcoms. My point is, this production wasn’t going for realism in Annie’s performance, they were going for something between pep and moxie. It’s pretty hard to be bad at that, and I don’t think Joanna was. [Note: Joanna may have been a perfectly good, realistic actress in other contexts, but that doesn’t seem to be what the director wanted and that’s not what she gave him.]
What followed was a hubbub far greater than the initial casting announcement. Joanna was on Sally Jessy Raphael. She was an early guest on The Rosie O’Donnell Show, whose main platform was kids and musical theater (we both watched every day, yes). The story was in everything from Playbill to People. It even went back to Turning Point:
I mean, THIS is the girl that producers didn’t think was Annie enough to play Annie? She literally says “I’m not Annie no more.” What kid actually talks like that? Plucky orphans from the 1930s.
Then came the lawsuit. A flashy breach of contract case stirs my soul like musical theater auditions did when I was 10, so this part of the story is my jam. Joanna won a contest, and the prize of the contest was the role of Annie on Broadway. A lower court judge ruled that a Broadway role is “not comparable to other contest awards,” ergo specific performance can’t be ordered. But is there a breach? The third circuit court of appeals ruled that Pacitti had the right to have her case heard. Unfortunately for those of us who really want to know if this constitutes a breach, Macy’s settled.
As for Joanna? It’s all too tempting to say that the sun did come out. She starred in a regional production of Annie, which for a little kid is almost good enough. She still got to do what she loved. Joanna went on to pursue a pop career, and might have made a great American Idol contestant, except that the show’s legal team decided that she might have had too many ties in the entertainment industry – she was signed, at times, by both A&M and Geffen. According to her Twitter profile, these days Joanna is a singer and photographer. It comes as no surprise that the kid chosen to play resilient Annie is doing just fine after seeing the wrong side of show business – which, as they say, isn’t called show friends for a reason. My opinion may be moo by this point – the 1997 revival closed within months, – but this 90s theater kid will always argue that Joanna Pacitti was robbed.
Ah, prom season. It’s that time of year when high schoolers across America pay way too much money to go to a school dance. Speaking as a human adult who went through the shenanigans of prom, it’s never what you think it’s going to be, kids (See previous post here). Case in point: Pennsylvania teen Aniya Wolf.
So here’s what went down: officials at Aniya’s Catholic high school sent out an email in February requiring all females to wear a formal dress to prom, and if anyone failed to adhere to the dress code, they would not be allowed to attend the prom. They sent a reminder email in March and a day before the prom, an administrator sent an email to Aniya’s mom specifically saying they had found out her daughter was planning on wearing a tux and warned again that if she doesn’t wear a dress, she wouldn’t be let in. On Saturday, Aniya, with a brand new tux (complete with a vest), showed up to said prom and school officials threatened to call police if she didn’t leave. So she left.
Ok, on one hand, the school’s administrators made a rule, told parents and students about it multiple times, and Aniya still defied the dress code, knowing full well what she was doing. Prom was essentially a suicide mission.
On the other hand, the rule is dumb. Why have this put in place at all? What is this meant to be protecting? And why are they calling out one student? It’s clear they specifically made it to prevent Aniya from wearing a suit. And the thing is, Aniya has been a tomboy all her life. Instead of wearing the option of a skirt to school, she says she’s been wearing dress code pants all three years she’s been attending Bishop McDevitt high school. Officials knew full well of her clothing choices prior to prom. Also, although it shouldn’t normally matter, I feel like it’s important to note that Aniya is a lesbian and her date is a girl (wearing a formal dress). I’m just saying school officials might a hidden agenda besides taking down a girl in a tuxedo.
After news spread Aniya wasn’t let into prom, an uproar obviously ensued, so school admins released a statement: “Without question, we love, respect and cherish all of our students… Bishop McDevitt will continue to practice acceptance and love for all of our students.”
Sure. Ok.
Since we also went to a Catholic high school, we know what it’s like to abide by a dress code, albeit I don’t remember ever receiving an email about dresses at prom. On days when you could dress down, I feel like people dressed “up” more than usual. It was time to show off your personal style rather than the required maroon polo and unflattering pleated khakis. So for prom, it was dress down day to the max, and girls went all out.
In saying that, Aniya is wearing multiple layers of clothing and is way more modest than the other girls wearing formal dresses. It’s hard to believe school officials would rather have a gal half dressed than a gal fully clothed. I mean, have you seen some of the dresses out there? Not only are a lot of them ugly but they’re showing a lot of skin and not appropriate for 15 to 18 year olds, IMO. Here are just some real prom dresses that are a fafillion times worse than Aniya’s tuxedo will ever be.
but maybe her prom was a toga party
what’s worse looking jealous or crazy jealous or crazy?
remember garters?
i really hope those two girls in the back learn what not to wear from this experience.
this is so 2000s i can barely comment on it. it strikes a chord within me.
could lit’rally poke an eye out
but they’re on a red “carpet” made from what seems to be a 99 cent plastic tablecloth
bless her date. bless him.
after the prom, girls wearing this dress can double up and go to a salsa dance competition in uruguay.
sigh.
because nothing says i’m going stag than an illuminated photo of rpatz on your dress.
Cookies + Sangria 